Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Monica Padman

Episode Date: August 4, 2020

This week, Kaitlyn is joined by actress, producer and co-host of the Armchair Expert podcast, Monica Padman! Monica explains how she met Dax Shephard and Kristen Bell, working with them and eventually co-hosting with Dax. She and Kaitlyn also talk about the positive effects of doing Improv on your social life plus their inciteful and crazy experiences with being hypnotized! Later, they share some confessions and Monica answers questions from listeners. GEICO – Go to geico.com, and in fifteen minutes you could be saving 15% or more on car insurance MERCARI – Check out Mercari on the app stores or on Mercari.com . BREYERS – To find out more about Breyers CarbSmart click here: https://www.breyers.com/us/en/products/carbsmart.html   OXICLEAN – To Work your Magic with OxiClean, go to OxiClean.com/tryme and order a free stain-fighting sample while supplies last HOME DEPOT – Shop today and you’ll get free and flexible delivery with easy returns. Plus, for a limited time, you can save even more on the styles you love when you use code OFFTHEVINE10 at checkout.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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And you may have also listened to her 10-episode podcast series, Monica and Jess, love boys, where she and friend Jess try to figure out why they are the way that they are when it comes to relationships. We get into a lot of things about sexting. It's really fascinating. So please welcome to the podcast, Monica Padman. How are you? It's nice to meet you over Zoom, which we all have been meeting over Zoom these days. Yes, it's so nice to meet you.

I'm a big fan. You are not. I am truly a big fan. I was so, so flattered and thrilled that you guys asked me to join you. No, I'm flattered and thrilled that you even said yes. I am just, I can't, are you in the famous attic right now? I am indeed in the attic. That's so cool.

That's awesome. You guys are so good at what you do. I'm just like, am I nervous for this podcast? Because you're like a podcast queen. I'm nervous. Oh, my God. I've been, I have been. Well, you know, obviously, you know, they've been doing these recaps of The Bachelor.

And I used, I used to be so obsessed with the show. So obsessed. And, you know, of course, we'd do like our friend, hey, Monday night. Yeah. And they were the best. And then I did drop off just, I think, because of time. And then I've, like, refound it. And it's the best.

But I was still watching it during your season. And I just thought you were great. Well, thank you. You probably dropped off at the right time then. As long as you saw me. I'm just going on you. And I was like, you know, it's not getting any better than that. So we're done.

Ended on a high note. That's amazing. Okay, so you're quarantining at Dax's place, right? Yes. Well, technically not anymore. So, I mean, we are still quarantining as a pod. Right. I live three minutes down the street from them.

and I also I live by myself so I've just been like basically at their house I got long into the night and then go sleep at my house but I was originally sleeping there and it was kind of this weird bizarre thing where Kristen and I and some friends

went to Europe at the very like middle February and I had a seat I had this like bizarre medical thing happened where I had a seizure. Yeah, I heard that. So bizarre. It's so weird. I mean, a tiny part of me feels validated because I had one a year ago in the whole of the night.

We didn't know, I didn't know what it was, and I, like, peed in the bed, and then I told everybody on the podcast at Dak, and I'm like, I think something happened. I don't know. And he's like, no, you just peed in the bed. Like, sometimes you just pee in the bed. I was like, I don't, I really don't think that's what. it is um but i know i never found out and then when we were on this vacation luckily they were there so they saw we were all in a hotel room together um so then i got to like figure out what it was

but since then christmas was like want you just stay with us for a little bit post seizure just to make sure we're all good and then quarantine happened like the next week right wow that's crazy and But you've got it all figured out now? Yeah. I mean, they diagnosed it as epilepsy, which was so crazy. I definitely, and 100% a hypochondriac, so I think like every little thing is something major. And then it was kind of ironic because the neurologist was like, okay, so it's epilepsy.

And I was like, no, like, definitely not. I definitely don't have anything really wrong with me. I just think something's on with me all the time. but yeah and I've just been on medication and it's all been fine since I'm glad you figured it out that's so scary I mean I made the horrible mistake of my Sunday yesterday by watching contagion have you seen I've watched it like 45 times since this began wildly like accurate and terrifying and every I was like why would I do this on the day of Sunday scurries would I choose to watch this movie while I'm like head first in McDonald's and like it just was like a weird day for me and usually Sundays are like

okay I shut everything off I just relax I'll be just so lazy I always order McDonald's on Sundays it's my thing and and this time I was like I'll throw on contagion and Jason was like why would you do this to us like it was so real it was it's eerily similar yes like you have to quarantine. It's this like disease that came from bats. People like a certain percentage of people are dying from it. It's mutating. Like everything about it was so similar, except for that, but not to bring up your seizures again, but that's what that happens to them on the show. Oh my gosh. So that was crazy. So I watched it. I would say like first or second week we were in quarantine. So I really just like dove in Kristen and I watched it and I was like this could literally like this is the worst thing

I could possibly watch yes it's it's horrible for anyone to watch because we're in this exact pandemic the only difference is that some people are getting seizures which I just had so it's like oh my god this is just like the worst and then then I watch it the next day and the next I could not stop watching it it was obsessed with it's such a good movie great movie and just a stacked cast But, like, again, all too real. I'm super impressed that you've watched it more than once because I watched it once and was like shaking in the fetal position, like, couldn't go to sleep. I'm like, just got to get worse from here. And that is something I must be.

But, yeah. Just terrifying. Anyways, great Sunday. All around. Great Sunday. Hey, did you know that right now, GEICO is offering an extra 15% credit on car, motorcycle, and RV policies? That's 15% on top of the money, Guyco could already. save you. So what are you waiting for? Your dog to make you breakfast in bed with Belgian

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Yes. Improv school and theater here in Los Angeles. And so while you were working and doing everything, you were also part-time nanny. Is that how you met Dax and Kristen, right? Yes. So we had mutual friends. And so I would see them at parties and stuff, but really super acquaintance level. And then, yeah, I was auditioning and doing like small parts here and there. And so I happened to book a part on House of Lies, which was Kristen's show. In so life art irony, I booked the part of her assistant. So I worked one day as her assistant and she was like, oh, you, I know you.

Like, hey. So we chatted a bunch that day. and she had just had Link in her first, and I was like, I also babysit, because that is, I was like, that's how I was making my money. Right. And then they just started calling me to kind of date night babysit, which is then evolved and evolved and evolved and evolved. That's great. Oh, I love that story. And, yeah, because it's, I was doing, I was doing my research. And it said that you were doing nannying and stuff on the side. Now, at what point, are you still nannying for them? Like, you still watch the kids or now you're just like a family friend at this point.

Now it's, I mean, it's, it's weird to say, like, I was about to say no, but of course, like, after this, I'm probably going to go over there and hang out with the kids. Like, now it's just become one big kind of family unit. But no, I'm not paid to babysit the kids. I was like, that might be weird, but I still, no judgment here. Tell me about improv, because I always think, I forget who was talking to, a couple people from Bachelor World. Do you know how they come off the show and decide that they're going to live in L.A. and do

whatever and they some people have taken improv classes and one um wills he was on a beco season he said he took it and it actually just helped him like have better conversation with friends and like in interviews and certain situations like is it do you just put yourself out there because i've done like improv in high school with my theater and done that kind of thing but does it just help you put yourself out there and feel more comfortable like with people watching you i think 100% like once I started and I always did comedy so I I knew that was the sort of path I wanted to take but I was very scared to do improv I would always scripted comedy stuff so I was really really really scared and then as soon as I started I was like oh this is magic for so many reasons and I do

feel that anyone should take an improv class because yeah you learn so much about mainly listening because you can't really be in your head thinking about what you're going to say because you're literally just going off of what the other person says in the moment. So it really trains your brain to listen and react honestly based on that person's whatever they're doing or saying or whatnot. But yeah, I just think, and yeah, you're right. Like conversationally to not say no, you know, the first rule of improv is yes. saying. So it kind of helps you take what someone's saying and then add on to it or elaborate

or yeah. It's amazing. Yeah, I want to, I've actually thought about that lately about doing improv classes. I mean, I'm going to be in LA soon and I'm like, well, I have time to do that because I've always wanted to do it since I did it in theater and everything because I think it would help me with podcasting. 100%. Yes. Yes. Wait, are you moving? No, I'm just coming there for, every time I say this, I feel like I'm, like, dropping a humble brag. Like, I'm just coming there for dancing with us. Oh, I know. Oh, my God.

Congratulations. That's so awesome. That is so awesome. Yeah. But I don't think I'm going to have time to do improv during that. But I mean, maybe, you know, like after I have to put this out there, universe positive thinking, after I win the mirror ball, then I could, then I could do some improv classes. That's such a funny state. That's such a funny sentence.

it's after I went dancing with the stars. I'm going to do Improop 101 at UCB. But you should. It's so, it's, uh, it's, it's the best. Oh my God. Are you so excited? Yeah. I've honestly, though, I'm really feeling, I know I'm not old.

I know I'm like 35 is not old, but I'm really feeling age more than I ever have in my life, like in my body. And so I've been working with this trainer who works with athletes and I've been doing physical therapy for balance. and like mobility and all these things. And so I've been boxing. I've been boxing. I'm doing all these things to like get my body in like the right shape to go dance every day.

And I'm like, well, I need to be like, I need to have stamina. I need to have muscle. I need to have balance. I'm going through all these things. And I'm falling apart in the process. Like my body, like Jason just came down and he's like, are you going to make it? I was like laying on the floor with my feet up just like get me out of bail because my back is just the back of an 80-year-old woman.

Oh, wow. And I'm like, I've never, I danced my whole life like ballet and all these things. And I've never really had an injury. And so now, I also don't think this is an injury. I think my body is just actually lifting weights and like doing exercise where I'm like, I've been on the couch for a few months. But I'm just, I am so sore and I feel so completely old in my body. Yeah, I can see that.

I would totally feel the same, especially if you're, but if you've done it before, like you said, and you're used to it being a little bit more effortless. And now it's like, wait, why? Why? Why it's it hard? And then I keep putting myself through it. Like, I'm like limping out of my workout, being like, see it tomorrow. Like, I don't know why I keep doing this to myself.

Oh, my God. It's going to be such a fun, awesome experience, though, and a learning experience. It's so exciting. Do you imagine if I have put all the same. effort into it and I just go get booted off night one it's not happening it's not happening it says that but i I it would be something I'd laugh about in like 10 years but I would be so devastated for those 10 years it I mean that with the sad truth is it's happening to someone I know that's what breaks my heart and like the um who is I talking to oh Nikki Glazer who was on it and she was like dude I went home

night one and I was like what and she's like so funny and lovable and I'm just like like, how? I don't know. Oh, boy. Well, positive thinking. And you just have to, like you said, you're doing all this training. You're probably, you're helping your body in so many ways. So at the very least, that's true. Once I get there, I won't be shocked by, uh, by the, you know, whatever age is doing to my body. I won't be shocked by like a sore back. I'll be like, normal. Okay, we can do it. And, you know, marijuana is illegal in California. California. So. Correct.

Absolutely correct. Yeah, I'm not above that. How did you guys get into this podcasting? Did you start with Dax from the beginning? Yeah, yeah, we started it together. Yeah. He said at one point, he had done a few podcasts that he really loved. And then he was like, I don't know,

it might be like kind of fun to do a podcast. It was really low-key. And I was like, let's do one. We can figure it out. I'll figure it out. And so, uh, originally I was just going to produce it. And so I talked to a few people I knew who had podcasts and I kind of sat in and saw the whole deal. Um, and then he wanted me to come on as the co-host as well. So, so we kind of got that all in order. Then we brought on Rob, who was our co-producer to help with some of the logistic stuff. Um, and, um, and, uh, that was kind of that we just like started and we had no truly no expectation we were just like oh my gosh we love chatting that's kind of all we do is sit on the porch and debate and yell at each other and chat and try to make money off it yeah but we didn't even know that was really that much of a possibility you were just like oh this will just be a fun way to spend the time

why not and we both loved podcasts so much so that is really how it started and obviously he has access to interesting people so it's okay why wouldn't we i mean i was going to say okay one of my true heroes of all times is will feral and you guys got to interview him right yes i just i feel like i've heard through the grapevine as well that he is just such a good human Um, like so funny and so entertaining, but like also a good, good person, which I think that sadly doesn't happen often in that world, but I mean, that's just what, but I heard he's so nice. Is he just the best? He is so nice and so real and incredibly humble. It's funny for me, for me personally having done all these episodes i am always surprised right like in a good way

positive way always but it's always the people where i have zero expectation that blow it out of the water you know where i'm like oh my god i i you know so we have an episode coming up with leslie odum junior and i don't i didn't really know that much about it my obviously new hamilton and stuff And I was like, that's fun, that'll be fun. And then we're in this conversation. I'm like, this can never end. Like, this is the most interesting person on earth. And I have found that there is some sort of inverse relationship to your expectations versus

the reality. Not that Will was not 100% like meeting our expectations. But you probably expected that. Yeah, exactly. You expect him to be amazing and perfect and all these fun things. And then he comes in and he's a person. Right. And which is fun in its own way, but it is always like, yeah, it's been a good reminder

of resetting your expectations about people. Right. That's what I've got. I get called out all the time because I repeat myself on podcasts, but it's like I have to say it. It's the same thing for me that I used to always do podcasts in person. And now from quarantine, I'm like, my world has been opened up to have so many other conversations that I wouldn't have been able to have, and I'm, like, blown away by how much I

love doing it from home now. I would love to do it in person again, but now I'm, like, able to, you know, have more options in different conversations, and it's been such a treat for me. That's awesome. Yeah. What was I going to say about Will? Oh, I used to just, like, sit in my room and try and, like, reenact Will Ferrell movies and skits from SNL.

Like, I knew I had all of his best of Will Ferrell DVDs. Like, I had the pleasure of meeting Chris Catan one time, and he probably hated me because I sat there and asked him to do like Will Ferrell skits. And he was like, big Will Ferrell fan. I'm like, huge. Okay. You're great too. But it was so funny. But I just really love Will. Yeah. I'm just borderline obsessed. Let's take a second. Everyone has stuff they don't use lying around the house. Clothes we never wear or an old phone in a drawer somewhere. Personally, I've got an old phone in a drawer somewhere. Personally, I've got an old. old iPhone somewhere around here, and even though I don't use it, someone would. Same with that great pair of boots I bought last year that I never got around to wearing, and let's face it, probably never will. Well, guess what, peeps? People will pay good money to buy your stuff on the Mercari

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today. We'll be back with more Off the Vine with Caitlin Bristow. You're listening to Off the Vine with Caitlin Bristow. And I had another question because I saw that you got hypnotized. Is that, do you actually get hypnotized? I did on our show. Yeah. Oh, my gosh, that inspired me. like, I want to get hypnotized on my podcast so badly. It did. What was it? Like, tell me about this experience, experience.

So it's this hypnotist. His name is Tom Silver. And he, um, it was, it was insane. So you go in, obviously, with a goal that you want to change or whatever you want. And often for him, it's like, it can be like medical things. Like people want to get rid of their migraine. and stuff and he worked with someone who had a stroke and was like helping them sort of come back into their body um obviously this is a one-time thing so I can't pick some like long-term major

goal but I picked which this sounds really vain but there's a much I think a deeper perspective on it but I asked to be able to look in the mirror and like the physical image i see yeah and um i i think it has at least 30 percent worked what yes i really really really do again who knows if it's placebo who knows if it's like but who cares if it's if it's done anything i count that as a big win but yeah he hooked my brain up to basically like an EEG. Yeah. And it was crazy because you could see,

he like hooked it up with the computer, you could see all my brain waves moving, moving, moving. And then once he hypnotized me, they went flat. Literally on the screen, you could see my brain went flat. Dax was like watching all this. He like could not believe it because he's such a skeptic

and I am pretty much just, I'm halfway to the criticism level. But, yeah, it was, regardless, seeing the brainwaves change like that was amazing. Yeah, because that's some proof right there. Yeah, it's doing something. It's doing something at the very least. And 30%. I mean, gosh, I mean, I can tell you, if, I mean, who doesn't want to feel better physically

when they look in the mirror, right? which is so sad that even, you know, no matter what body type, I think we all feel that way. So even if you could change that by 30 percent, that's incredible. Yeah. And I think about it a lot when I look at the mirror. I'm like, what do I, you know, and I do. I feel like I'm not as critical of every little detail. I feel, which this was really interesting, his whole kind of,

input he was he was implanting in my brain was not you're beautiful or what when you look at the mirror you're going to think you're pretty he was like you're the only you on earth and that's unique and that's beautiful that you're the only version of you and that that was true you know like I never really thought about physicality that way that we i mean i mean it sounds like so corny but we are all so beautiful because we're the only versions of ourselves yeah there's no replication and that's awesome yeah that's true there is no replication that's so i i am so looking into this i wonder if you'd come on my podcast so you guys are doing like was it like a social distance podcast is that how you have to do it or can he like hypnotize over zoom oh this

This was a while ago, so it was before quarantine. He might be able to do it. It would be hard because he does, like, for me, there was, like, a hand portion where he was, like, holding my hand and then, like, dropping it. Like, are you aware while you're being hypnotized? Were you aware? Yes, I was. And that was, I was also really scared. I was like, am I going to, is he going to make me, like, keep my pants or something?

Yeah. Am I not going to know? but I was definitely aware. Like at one point he had me smile. He was like having me smile. And I was aware that I was doing it and that there were like people in the room, but I didn't care. Yeah.

And I think I would have cared if I was in a different state of mind. But I definitely knew it was, you're not like out of your mind or anything. Thank you for listening to today's podcast made possible by our friends at Breyer's Carb Smart. partnering with American farmers for 100% grade A milk and cream. And by now you've probably heard us raving about our new favorite frozen treat, Breyer's Carb Smart, available in tubs and bars with yummy flavors like caramel swirl, chocolate-covered almond, vanilla, and peanut butter,

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That's briars.com slash Vine to print your $2 off coupon. Then pick up your favorite Briars Carb Smart flavors at Walmart, Target, Kroger, Amazon, Fresh, or wherever you shop. I have a great confession Tell me I don't know if I've told this on the podcast for If I did, it was a really long time ago I faked being hypnotized in front of a huge crowd one time I did

I was like 18 years old And like clues I thought it was in back in my hometown where you had to be like 18, was the legal age to go to bars and, like, drink. And so I went to this, like, adult show for hypnotizing. And, oh, my gosh, this is so embarrassing. I went up with my best friend. They, like, picked us out of the crowd. And I was like, there's no way this is going to happen. And then I'm like, I wonder if a lot of people fake it, like the way they do it these shows, because you just want to,

like, be funny or, like, entertain the crowd. Because that's totally where my mind was. I was like, well, it doesn't work. I'm totally faking it. for a good laugh. Like, I thought it was hilarious. And I was like, he made me go around and, like, rub a bald man's head. And, like, anyone that was bald, I had to, like, rub their head. And I was like, I know, why am, is this worth it, Caitlin? But I remember, like, I remember being, like, so sad.

Like, I told my best friend who was also up there, we lied to each other and said, we got hypnotized. We're like, it worked. And we told all of our friends. And then, like, five years later, we're like, what are you lying about that? And she's like, yeah, I totally faked it. And I was like, let me make you.

That's so interesting. I wonder if everyone was faking it. I know there are different levels of susceptibility. Yeah, but this was, yours seems obviously a lot more legit when they're hooking things up. Like this was like, you know, like a funny show for people who were drinking

and, oh, my dog wants to get up from behind me. And like, I don't know. I feel like it was one of those hipnot where he like snapped and I fell asleep. Like, you know, I don't think it was the level. That's so embarrassing. What a loser I was. You're just going with it.

I like it. I was trying to like make the hypnotist not feel stupid. Like it worked. No dependent with the hypnotist. You're like, I can't. Totally. Do you have a confession for me? Oh, do I have a confession?

I'm sure I do. Let's see. There's got to be something that like has happened to you in your life that was just humiliating. Even if nobody knows and you want to tell it to me, like who, do you know James Murray from Impractical Jokers? No. Okay.

I'm obsessed with impractical jokers, but he's this one of the jokers on the show. And he was telling me the story about how he just like let a terrible fart go in an elevator. And he thought he was going to get off before someone got in and then this girl got in. And he was always like thinking she. was beautiful when he saw her in the building and then she came in and he like panicked and just got out at the wrong floor and then he went to hit the elevator button again and it hadn't gone down yet and so the door reopened and she was standing there going oh my god that is horrifying

that is horrifying oh my god um what let me think okay what is something that i do have one but i'm scared to say it that's the best kind I'm scared I'm only scared to say it because I think it might hurt someone's feeling oh okay but could you not say their name though or would they know who you're talking about okay I'll say it um okay so I had I have I have had this podcast Monica and just love boys yes and it was it's an offshoot of armchair. It was a 10 episode thing I did with my buddy Jess where we like talk about relationships and dating and I have like a notorious blank slate of dating. I don't date. I just never dated and I had so many hangups and obviously I wanted to look in the mirror like the image. But I had so many

hangups and all these things. And so I kind of was like, that's not I'm not doing that really. And then Jess, my friend, we're complete opposites. He's six, he's like basically seven feet tall. He's a redhead. He has this huge personality. He's gay. And he dates like, you know, 14 people a week, basically. So we had like come to it from totally opposite perspectives.

And then we had an ex, a relationship expert on every week. And we would talk it all out. And then they would give us challenges at the end that we'd have to complete by the next episode and it was really fun and it was really enlightening like you know of course we found out that we're we're so different but we're actually the same and everyone's the same like everyone just has insecurities and they they can spawn you into different paths but at the root it's all kind of the same and um yeah we got to have like astropolel on like just amazing awesome awesome people but so one of the episodes was with dan savage who is the best and he of course being him like

gave us really extreme challenges and so for me i had to sext with someone oh yes and i also this was the beginning of quarantine so i was like and it had to be genuine sexting like you couldn't it couldn't be a joke yeah it had to be genuine sex thing okay and and I was like oh my god this is a nightmare like how do you do this and um and then but also compounded by the fact that I was like who am I going to do this with right I can't go like find someone out on the street because we were in quarantine and I was talking to a few people because of these challenges I was but I was like I can't pick them because that doesn't even seem fair that seems like i'm escalating this into a new realm and then i'd have to tell them like actually i just did that you know just like that felt

muddy to be like yeah so so um jess's friend was like i'll do that i'll do that with monica and i was like okay great why not and so we did it and it was so fun and great oh my gosh i thought you're going to say awkward okay amazing well okay so this is the confession element okay we i was quarantining with christened and dax at the time and we had a few other people living there too with us and so it was like loud there's kids everywhere there's all this stuff going on and i thought i was like i can't really like be by myself right at that time so I was sexting with him while we were like watching TV like 10 of us are just like

watching TV outside some like crime documentary and I'm sexting and nobody knows and I'm just like on my phone while kind of half talking about this crime documentary it was so that part was so uncomfortable because I had to like kind of like come in and out mentally and physically um so that that i guess is my confession i feel bad saying it because i don't want the person who i was sexing with to think i wasn't like fully invested right i don't how did you manage that it was it was really bizarre it was really really bizarre because i was also like i really was in my own world also everyone's like kind of text you know it's not like Everyone's like, Monica's not paying attention to the show.

Like, everyone's sorted in their own world. But I'm obviously in a totally different headspace. But then somebody will say something like, yeah, oh, my God. It's like crazy that, like, she had the cocaine that whole time. And I'm like, yeah, it's crazy. Oh, my God. Yeah, cocaine. All the time there was cocaine.

Like, no idea, no idea what is happening in the show. Are you going on to it? I was into it. I was really into it, but I was like, my body, my physical body was also do, it was like, yeah, like, whatever that movie invasion of the body snatchers or something. Like, I was like in two places at once. Yeah, but, okay, maybe I have a different definition of sex team. I know, I know. Are you, like, was there completion?

Right. Yeah. so no because because of my circumstance and that wasn't part of the challenge you didn't have to like climb that it wasn't explicitly said that I was supposed to come um so I I don't think I cheated fully because that wasn't part of the instructions so I can't like promise that I would I don't know I hope so No, if you like, if you like, how did it end? Where you're like, well, let's do it again sometimes.

It, it, so a lot of, a lot of the sexing was, um, very future focused. So it was like when we're together. So that was better as far as like, yeah. I guess you're saying, maybe I'm very scared. Wait, has this gone anywhere or has, has, So it has not, but we are trying to both get COVID tests so that we can have an in-person. Right. How did I forget about COVID?

Like it's been eight years, Caitlin. Oh, my God. That's the whole problem. That's the whole thing is like what that was a part of the future speak. And it is like when this is over or when we can see each other, like, I'm going to do this to you. I'm going to, you know, that. So it was hot. I mean, it really was.

And I'm not saying there wasn't any physical reactions happening. There are for sure were. But, yeah, yeah. That's awesome, though. I love that this guy volunteered and then you went through with it. Like, it's, it was, yeah, it was great. Quick question. Do you ever ruin that brand new white shirt you just fell in love with?

Maybe had a little spill or two and just couldn't bring it back to life. So sad. I've had this happen to me a few times. So just a couple of weeks ago, actually, I was wearing the. cutest new white shirt and feeling pretty good about myself and next thing you know i spilled on myself as pretty usual i had to throw this shirt out because i could not get the stain out no matter what i tried and i was really sad about it and i wish i had known what i know now and that is oxyclean white revive oxyclean white revive revives your dingy whites bringing them back to brilliant and bright

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So I just have to keep swallowing, trying to swallow it as his tongue is just like doing its thing like all the way down my throat mortified. Like I wasn't scared anymore to admit what I need and to ask for what I need. And I just feel like it's like a whole new dating chapter for me, honestly. I typed in you and instead of going to YouTube, it went to you porn. Be sure to check out Too Tired to Be sure to check out Too Tired to be crazy on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and Podcasts. I'm sorry. of Vine with Caitlin Bristow. I love that they give you challenges.

Was that the hardest one for you? Yes, and actually, no, I think the hardest one was I had to give somebody my phone number in person, and that was really hard. Like, I also didn't do it. That is very challenging, and I don't know why. I'm trying to think of if I've ever done that in my whole life. Like, I don't think I've ever gone to something. to like give them my number like if they ask of course or look into it like but I've never

gone up to somebody and been like here's my number that was hard it was really scary and I was down to like the wire on it we were recording the next day and that morning I was like I you know texted Jess and I was like I didn't do it I were gonna have to figure out something like some sort of penalty or I don't know we're gonna figure it out because I didn't do it and then that day i gave my number to my waiter that's awesome good for you i wanted to like i had already talked to him once before it was it kind of was like an organic natural thing uh but it was down to the wire wow that's i mean not a lot makes me nervous and i don't i'm not very shy or anything like that but the thought of like me having to give that fear of rejection makes me want to sweat my

hits off right now like I can't deal like I'm uncomfortable right now it's really uncomfortable and but for me it was it was the most out of all the challenges it was the hardest but of course it was also the most rewarding yeah because for a few reasons one it really did change the way and this is what I needed it changed the way I was looking at people right like I once I got that challenge assigned I was looking around and being like who's it going to be like who is interesting to me who is exciting and I had not that had been turned off for me like I just everyone was sort of a blur and I wasn't active in my pursuit like my light was not on you know so it really did force me to turn it on and be aware of people around me and

yeah and so that was really good and then once I did the challenge, I, of course, was like, oh, yeah, this is so not, like, dating and relationships is so, of course, it's about the other person, but it's so much about you. It's so much about your own hurdles and all of your own personal insecurities that you have to overcome. So when I did it, I was super excited because he was like, yeah, and we ended up hanging, virtually hanging out for a while, and he was awesome. But it was so much that I was like, oh, I can do it. Like, you can do it. It's okay. It's not going to kill you. Right. So it was great. Do you still do this podcast? I'm like, I'm so intrigued by this. That's such a great idea. And it's probably changed

you as like you've probably grown so much just from doing those little challenges that little things that have, you know, forced you to step outside of your comfort zone and meet new people and look at the world differently. Like usually on your phone. That's how you're meeting people, you're looking at their Instagram, you're checking out who they are by photos, which is so sad. I know. I know. And I, I, again, I don't like, I mean, 30% more than the, after the hypnotism, but I don't like judging people by their photos because I don't ever want someone to judge me by my photos. So I'm like, this is not fair. I don't think this is a good, accurate representation of people um and so i are i like buck up against that so much so yeah this was

it was it was really pushed us at both um out of our comfort zones and it was great it was 10 episodes uh we we might do another season we might come back for another season at um at some point but it was it was it was fun that's that's really great i love that and you are allowed to talk about this because it is in my notes that you have the new exciting project coming up so tell me tell me about the home renovation series it's it's called monica's new pad right yep monica's new pad um i bought a house at the beginning of this year it was a thank you um it is a stone's throw and i do mean that literally from christin and dax right which is just you know or just like really leaning in to the, uh, uh, sister wife's situation, really just embracing it. Um, and, but we kind of

felt like, oh, this is an opportunity, like, like, it, here it is. Like, we all get to commune live, which is what our ultimate goal is with all of our friends is like, we're going to buy up all the houses. That's what I want to be. All live together. Um, but yeah, so it, it, it came on sale, well okay so a 100 year old woman lived in this house wow yes and we knew for a long time like oh there's like a hundred year a woman who lives there and not to sound super crass but there was some conversation of like we should keep an eye on that house yeah she's a hundred she's very old like this house might go on sale in the next five years yeah um and so I was watching by it one day and I was just thinking and I had been looking at some other houses at that time and I walked by and I was like hmm I wonder what's happening with that house so I emailed my realtor and just said hey can you just like check in on this house see what's going on I don't know if anything but just like do some investigating he's like yeah that was a Friday on Monday he emailed he said your house went on sale today no way it was just like bizarre kismit that I happened to ask

and then it happened to go on sale, it was crazy. That's meant to be. That was my thought. Oh my gosh, wait. Did she pass in the house? Could she be your like guardian angel there? I actually don't think she did because they have to disclose that, which I thought was interesting. I have to tell you if that is the case and they did not.

So I don't think so, but I would have loved a guardian angel. That would be so amazing. Probably is such a sweet old soul name, too. Oh, shoot. I should know it and I don't. I don't. I'll find out, though. And I'll engrave her name into the home.

It's like Lillian. Yes. Oh, yeah. Or like Greta or something. Oh, Greta would be good. Um, yes. But so, so then I put in an offer and 11 people put in offers. So it became like this whole war.

Yeah. And the three month long process that ultimately ended in an, auction at the courthouse it became like a really big to do but i got it got it it's yours yes i got it it's mine and it needs a lot of work it's going to be perfect but it is far from perfect right now so we're going to do a home renovation show that's going to just sort of follow the the path and you know i i'm going to have to do a lot of this by myself because renovations are not cheap So, you know, it's going to follow, like, me trying to, me with the sledgehammer, trying to, like, get a wall down and I have a bees nest. I'm probably going to have to get in, like, a bee suit and try doing that, you know.

So, yeah. So fun. Oh, my gosh. Yeah, I can't imagine, like, a hundred-year-old woman having, like, a modern-style home. Oh, no. Oh, not even. Not even close. That's fun.

I love anything home renovations. I'm all into those over at my house. and we just finish our kitchen. I love watching anything to do with home renovations. Does it feel so nice? Oh my gosh, it's a different home. The kitchen was like everything in my house I've kind of made like really,

this is before Jason moved in. I made it really girly. Yeah. My lady's lounge here and then out there, it's like really like soft grays and pinks and whites. And the kitchen was just brown and ugly brown countertops. And it was just didn't go with the rest of the house. and now it's just all white and a little bit of navy and gold and new lighting and oh it just looks so good

that sounds perfect if you need any help yes i will reach out for sure i'm also not afraid of bees so okay there we go there we go i'm not sure if you know this but there is more to explore at the home Depot from furniture and home decor to bedding and more. Home Depot.com has endless options for every space. In fact, they are sponsoring a really fun segment in Off the Vine where I get to share some of my decorating expertise. So let's dive in. I think you guys have seen on Instagram and just over the past little while we've been doing home renovations, little facelifts here and there. you know everybody's spending more time at their house with this whole pandemic so i think we want to create a little sanctuary a beautiful space where we feel happy at home so we gave our kitchen a

little facelift we renovated our bonus room i'll definitely be sharing more about those projects and how home depot came in clutch when we were working on those rooms i always love adding little flares to each space. And Home Depot has so much on their site. And it's all in one place. So it's really, really helped with these projects. You know, a little throw rug here or a mirror or a little accents. I'll have to show you guys on my Instagram stories as well. But obviously, I'll be talking about it more on the podcast. I've always gone to Home Depot as my go-to for any home renovations and remodeling. But I didn't realize how great their home decor section was until I was browsing through their site the other day. I ordered the cutest tray, the Halsey black

decorative tray, to be exact, and it's the perfect way to bring spade and sparrows with me everywhere I go in the house, but seriously, it's very stylish and functional, and I would have never thought this would be in Home Depot decor section. With the Home Depot, decorating your home is now easier than ever before. Start by heading to Home Depot.com where you can shop everything for every room. Browse thousands of furniture pieces and decorative accents to fit any style. Explore bedding and bath linens, kitchenware and small appliances, all at the right prices. So whether you're going for a brand new look, a little seasonal refresh, or simply a few finishing touches, the Home Depot has all of the pieces you need.

And the best part. Shop today and you'll get free and flexible delivery with easy returns. Plus, for a limited time, you can save even more on the styles that you love when you use code off the vine 10 at checkout. Find exactly what you're looking for and more at home depot.com slash decor. Valid on select items only, free delivery on select items, $45 or more. Visit home depot.com for more information. I have a couple of questions from listeners. People were very excited. I was podcasting with you, by the way.

Yeah, so here is a couple, and then I'm going to let you go. Kendall Barnes says, have you ever been intimidated or star-struck by any of the guests on the pot? Oh, my, all of them, basically. I mean, especially at the beginning, I was really star-struck, because I also didn't have my, like, I just wasn't confident. We didn't even know what we were doing, you know, was, so now less so, but, like, we had, we have. Yeah, who's your craziest guests? that you got the most... She had Julia Louis Dreyfus on,

which is just my hero comedically. And so that was so huge. We had Gwyneth Paltrow on. That's amazing. Oh, did you ask her all about contagion? It was before I had watched it. I wish so bad. Oh, my God.

I wish so bad. But she's like, you know, she's one of those people where I walked in, And I was like, oh my God, I am so in that. And not because of it. Yes. And not because of any, like, she's the sweetest, nicest, and, like, very kind and warm. But I was just like, everything I'm wearing is stupid.

Like, I hate myself. No. So it had nothing to do with her. She was beautiful and wonderful. But I was intimidated by that. I feel she just, she does have that presence. where you'd walk into a room and you're like, holy shit. She has such a thing, like just an energy about her.

She's awesome. Yeah, but I was scared. I'm scared. Yeah, I would be, I mean, I wish I could have those kinds of guests on. I'm like, hey, mom, mom, you want on my podcast? Those are the best ones. Actually, I agree. My favorite podcast is when it's with like my family or friends or you, of course,

my favorite one so far. No, I do. I love having normal conversation. Like, it's one of my favorite things to just, like, talk about, like, if I had Gwyneth Paltrow on, I would be like, the same thing. I'd be like, I'm stupid. Everything I'm doing is dumb. Like, I wouldn't be myself. How do I look like you?

Yeah, I want to be you. Okay, Susan Book's blog says, who do you want to interview that hasn't been on yet? Oh, I have many. I mean, obviously Obama. Oh my gosh. I mean, he is the, he is the North car. I think he would. Well, Michelle has a new podcast coming out, which is, I'm so excited about, but she has a podcast, and he's doing hers.

I'm like, maybe he'll just, like, have fun and then want to do other people on. Yeah. So we're like having a podcasting as well. Yeah, Obama, a Donald Glover, have been trying to get him on forever, obsessed with him. and Mindy Kayling. Oh, yeah. Oh, my gosh. She's such a treat.

I love her. Love, love her. She's so smart and funny and such an interesting story. So I'm trying to get her for a long time. Okay, those are good ones. Okay. Kenzie Lindquist said if her and her friend group like Dax and Kristen and Jess were friends characters, who would you be? What a question for me.

That's good, right? Oh, that's a good one. I would I would probably be the Monica because I'm a little neurotic in and yeah I mean of course I want to say like I'd be the Rachel obviously I'll just have to be honest and say I'd probably be the Monica like that's okay people in line and also everyone I love Monica yeah everybody needs a Monica that's right yeah everybody every that show is just casted perfectly and i'm like everybody always makes fun me because my favorite character is ross and everyone's like what are you i just think he's like he's such a dork and like a lovable douche and like like he's just such a spas and i don't know i just love him he's my favorite one i love that i love that i love him i love my favorite i i i truly I mean, this used to be like a real Sophie's Choice question because I was, I, it's still, I'm so obsessed

with the show. Um, so I don't like picking because it feels not fair. Uh, but probably Phoebe is my real favorite. Oh, yeah, Phoebe. She's just, she just gives zero f***s. He gives zero f***s. That's what I love about her. She's so herself.

Yeah. Oh, she's the best. Yeah. I like that about her. She's my second favorite. Um, So many people have been saying, I don't have a question. Can you just tell her I love her?

That's what people are saying. And then I think the last one I will ask is... People don't have questions is because on our show, there is just no holds bar. Like, we are talking about everything. Dax on, I think the episode from today, like, farted during the fact check. And he was like, oh my gosh, I'm so sorry.

I'm like, I can't smell it. Like, that's what we're talking about on our show. So, of course, there's no questions. we're not giving people any leeway to like have any mystery there's no mystery uh that's funny you can't that's been one of my favorite things about podcasting from a home is i can just park all the time throughout any podcast and no one would ever know that's that's that's where my brain goes to um a lot of people would like to know how they could be become um be your best friend is there like an audition we could go to or

Maybe I'll set up some sort of, yeah, Zoom audition or something. At Zoom audition. Yeah, we'll host Zoom auditions. We should do a podcast where people have to audition to be your friend. You know, it's so, so sad. This is really sad and true. I, and this is a flaw on me. But I would never be able to be best friends with some.

someone who like was so desperate to be my best friend yeah i get that i remember they did like a show or something on m tv i can't remember where it was that same concept and i remember being like how awkward would it be after that to like be friends with that person who just did everything they could to be your friend like wouldn't you want to just meet organically and that's the kind of friend you want like exactly and i even even more so i like i need to like gain their approval a little bit. Like, I need to be on the other side of it a little bit where it's like you feel like you earned it. Yeah, so true. You got to earn friendships. That's a fair statement. I mean, I have a real quick question for you because this is in. Isn't that that sort of parlayes

into The Bachelor a little bit in The Bachelorette? Like, all these people are there and they're desperate for your affection. Is that so bizarre? Wow. I have weirdly never been asked that question or I haven't really ever thought about it. But if I think back into watching seasons before me, I felt that same way. I, you know what? That actually really screwed with me when I went in to go on The Bachelor. I was like, I don't want to seem desperate. I don't want to like beg for his attention. And I remember him asking me one time. He's like, why are you talking to me at rose ceremonies? And I was like, well, because I already have a rose. I don't want to like take up people's time. And like, I was like, it's okay. Like you just do your thing. And he was like, do you get the point

of the show like it's funny because I think and now I'm going to put myself in the shoes of being the bachelorette and I think um I think you kind of enjoy it for a hot minute like yeah of course you walk into a room and men stand up and clap for you like it's kind of nice and you know that that won't last forever right kind of just kind of enjoy that little pedestal you're on for a hot minute. Yeah. No, that's great. I mean, I think a healthy person can probably do that and I might not be able to. I had a really hard time doing that. I wanted to like feel too cool or something like with him to be like, ooh, that girl's so cool. When really he was like, can you talk to me, please? Like it's too far the other way, but I think that's how I did so far. That's so funny. That is

funny um great question though okay last one anna rose says something she admires about dachs and christian's relationship hmm um so many things uh but probably the most is their lack of um what's the best way is this they have no ownership of each other like they really let each other be themselves they have a lot of trust in their relationship and that it's like you know they both say all the time they just know that they want to be on the porch together when they're 80 you know so they both know they feel so certain in that that they don't feel clingy in the meantime you know they don't feel I mean obviously like my I'm so close with Dax we have incredibly like special relationship and I think in in if it had been two other people the the wife or

husband might not be super excited about that and and it's led to so many beautiful things like her and I are best friends him and I are best friends and we're all like we can all be a separate entity and of course then they're the pinnacle like their marriage and it's their relationship that we all sort of circle around but yeah I think this like non- jealousy yeah they have just really special yeah it's so secure it just really is secure and you have to they give each other that but really they have it within themselves it's like they know that they both know like we're this is we're gonna be on the fortune we're 80s so I don't need to be scared yeah yeah they don't they just have like like you said the

security in themselves, the confidence in themselves to know that they are just safe with one another. Yeah. It's going to work. That's so beautiful. I love hearing that because I think that's hard to find where you just feel completely secure with somebody and confident to just be yourself and like go do your own thing and just no worries in the world about your partner. And that's like the healthiest thing you could ask for in a relationship. Yeah, I think so. Yeah, that's awesome. That's very cool. I like that answer. Well, Thank you so much for doing this podcast. And it was so nice to meet you.

And good luck with your show and your new home. And like I said, I'll be in L.A. if you need any beekeepers. Oh, my gosh. Well, good luck with Dancing with the Stars. I can't wait to watch your journey. And don't break your back in the meantime. I mean, I will try not to. I think it might already be broken.

But I get everybody to get their votes in. It's like my biggest fear going home. one. Okay. We'll do it. I will lead the charge. Perfect. And then let everyone know everything that they can find, like where they can find your podcast, Instagram, everything like that. Okay. Well, podcasts are just kind of everywhere. Everywhere, yeah. Apple. And Monica Jess is also in that group. And yeah, Instagram at ML Padman. And that's kind of it. I don't have Twitter. I saw that. I went to look for you on Twitter for people to ask questions and I was like, oh, you don't have Twitter anymore. I don't have Twitter. I used to have it and it was occupied.

It was just taking up too much brain space. So I let it go. I'm like, it's such a joke. I'm podcasting next with this girl Lauren Gray, who is 18 years old and has 46 million followers on TikTok. What? And like, and nothing. I. I actually have, like, done some digging into who she is. And she's actually, like, she has some stories and, like, life lessons and all these things. But her TikTok is literally, like, she'll just, like, wink and do a kissy face and get, like, 15 million views. And I'm like, what the shit? What?

Oh, my God. The world is changing so much, so quickly. It's really hard to wrap my brain around. Yeah, same zies. Like, it's wild. So I have a lot of questions for her, but, yeah. So you don't have Twitter. I'm like, I need to get off TikTok.

That's the one that's wasting my brain space. Thank you again so much. I just really enjoyed our conversation and good luck with everything. Thanks, you too. Okay, bye. All right, I'm going to give out an Instagrammy, the Instagrammy for today. I would love to feature Ava Duvernay, whose work I am such a fan of. She's a writer, producer, director, and distributor of independent film.

And you're probably familiar with some of her incredible work, including when they see us and 13th, which, by the way, are both on Netflix. So please go check them out if you haven't already. Her Instagram is at Ava, and she's just a wealth of knowledge and inspiration. So I would highly recommend you go check her out. And for businesses this week, I would like to feature Mented Cosmetics, and you can follow them on Instagram. At M-E-N-T-E-D-C cosmetics or visit mentedcom.

Shiva DMed us on the Off the Vine and said that they make nude lipstick, especially for women of color. She says it was hard for her to find a good nude lipstick for her skin before she found minted. So love this. The second is I See Me, EY, Bookstore, which was recommended by Britt from Off the Vine. They sell diverse books for all ages, and Britt says it's a great way for black children to see themselves represented in their storybooks and for white children to learn about diversity and acceptance. Super cool. You can find them on Instagram at I See Me underscore Bookstore. That's everything today. I'm Caitlin Bristow. I will see you next Tuesday. Thanks for listening to Off the Vine with Caitlin Briscoe. Get new episodes every Tuesday

exclusively on Podcast 1.com, the Podcast 1 app, and subscribe on Apple Podcasts. Start with OTV.