Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Nev Schulman | Catfish Host Opens Up About Breaking His Neck, the Future of Catfish, and Their DWTS Rivalry!

Episode Date: December 10, 2024

#796. Nev Schulman joins Kaitlyn to share his journey from surviving a near-fatal biking accident to running a marathon—while guiding a blind runner—all in less than three months. Okay, we get it, Nev, you’re amazing! They also chat about the art of social media unfollowing, the future of Catfish, and their playful DWTS rivalry (spoiler: Kaitlyn beat him, and she’s not letting him forget it). This inspiring, funny, and heartfelt episode might just have you lacing up for a marathon—or hitting the unfollow button. If you’re LOVING this podcast, please follow and leave a rating and review below! PLUS, FOLLOW OUR PODCAST INSTAGRAM HERE! Thank you to our Sponsors! Check out these deals! Every Plate: Get affordable dinners for just $5.99 per serving, PLUS 50% off your first box by going to EveryPlate.com/PODCAST and entering code vine599. Range Rover: Explore the Range Rover Evoque at LandRoverUSA.com Nutrafol: Go to Nutrafol.com and enter the promo code VINEGIFT for $10 off any order plus free shipping when you subscribe. Quince: See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Okay, let's talk about the original enemies to lovers story. Before all of our reality TV couples, before the rom-coms, we binge, there was Elizabeth Bennett and Mr. Darcy in pride and prejudice. And Audible has just dropped a brand new original that will have you completely hooked, I am. It's not just any audiobook. This is a full cast performance. So Marisa Abella, you might know her from industry, brings Elizabeth Bennett to life.

And Harris Dickinson from Baby Girl and Where the Crawdads Sing is Mr. Darcy. And honestly, the chemistry, you guys, it's everything. Plus, you've got icons like Glenn Close, Bill Nye and Will Polter in the mix. Talk about a dream cast. Now, what I love is how Marissa pulls you right into Lizzie's world, her stubbornness, her wit, her messy family dynamics, and of course, her complicated feelings for Darcy. And with a vibrant new adaptation and original score by Grammy-nominated composer, it just feels so fresh and modern while still keeping that timeless Jane Austen charm.

So whether it's your first time experiencing Pride and Prejudice or you've read it a million times, you're going to fall absolutely in love all over again. So go listen to Pride and Prejudice now at audible.ca slash Jane Austen. Welcome to Off the Vine podcast. I'm your host, Caitlin Bristow, and today in the podcast studio. We finally have Neve Schulman. I've been wanting to podcast with this guy since I beat it. No, just kidding.

Since I was a competitor with him on Dancing with the Stars. He was the best competitor, one of the best dancers. He recently got in a very scary, terrible bike accident, broke his neck, and under three months later, just ran the New York City Marathon, not alone, but guiding a blind man. And it was so great to have him in the studio and hear all about his story. And of course, we talk about his famous show, Catfish. So please enjoy my conversation. with Neve Schulman.

You're the one beast. You're the one. I'm the hero that's just battling the heat in this room and a sweatsuit. Yeah, just getting ready for a match. Are you, do you have a boxing match? Yeah, in like two hours. I've got a hard out of two for that. You're just trying to drop two pounds before.

I'm in a sauna after this in this outfit. And I've got to be crazy. I actually, you know what I just saw that, and I don't know if anything you see is real or not, but that like people who sauna. Yeah. Essentially, it boils down to the more you sauna, the lower your risk of heart disease. And dementia, apparently.

So maybe the sweatsuit in the warm podcast studio is actually a good thing. I'm just constantly smelly, but... You're just life extending. But I'm extending my life. The time we spend doing this, you're going to get back. Yeah, truly, I'm, I'm, like, I'm fighting for dementia on this podcast and good heart rate. No, I have a sauna in my backyard and a cold plunge and I'm obsessed.

Is it an infrared sauna? It's an infrared. I want to get one. It's, I highly recommend it. It honestly has done wonders for so, like. Your skin looks great. Sona. Sweatsuits.

Sweating all the time. Your hair looks great. If I took off this beanie, you would not say the same thing. Just looking for other things to give you the opportunity to say, sauna. So, oh, thank you, Sona. Your teeth are whiter. Sona. Your nails look healthy.

Sona. I love those boots. Sona. Do you do Sondas and cold plunge before, like, before, like, you run a marathon or do you, you don't? You just raw dog it? Yeah. You just break your neck and go raw dog America.

You know what I'm really into these days? What? I have a pair of Therobody compression boots. Oh, yeah. And I'm in those all the time. Yeah. Like, even if you just walk. 70% of the time.

They work all the time All the time If I want to spend 30 minutes Comfortably Improving my circulation And recovering or even preparing for Or just chilling Yeah

Run like it's just great It's so nice It massages It's got infrared lights now in them What? Oh is that what I saw in your story Where you're wearing those Like that's what that is Oh so you can't like

Impression Infrared vibration No no no Oh it's like the boots that you put Yeah you're locked Okay I got it I got it. I did that during dancing with the stars.

Did you do any, like, craziness for your body during dance with the stress? It must have given you the edge. It's why I won. You know what it was? Sonna. No, it was I did so much, like, cryo? Cryotherapy? Cold therapy.

Where were you doing all this? There was, like, a spot that Artem gave me, like, right by where the CBS lot was. And I would go all the time, and I would just stand in that ice. box. Did Jenna not tell you about that? No. Wow. Wow. Are you watching this season? I started watching it and then the last few weeks it was so busy.

Yeah. I haven't had a chance. I mean you probably had coming down to the Yeah. It's. I feel like either. Is Jenna still in? Yeah. And she's got Joey. Right. He's great. He's too good. Well, you should talk. But he's better than I was. He's

like literally He looks like a pro. But you know what I like, but you know what I like about him, he's not naturally, like, rhythmic. Oh, no, like, he's still kind of awkward and like, it's true. You know what I mean? Like, we're able to see. He's a fast learner and, and he's very, like, fit and strong so, like, he can do all the stuff.

Yeah. But, like, he's not, I don't think he's naturally, like, a good dancer. Yeah, that's fair. That's fair. I really want to just talk about you. Okay. Because I heard from somebody, because we don't follow in each other on social media. which we'll talk about later,

that you had gotten in this horrible car accident. So, or not a car accident, you're on a bike and a car hit you. Tell me, you tell me. Well, I know you do like the embarrassing moment.

Oh, is this part of your confession? Well, since you brought it up here, I figured this is the time. Oh my God, then let's do it now. Do you have a setup for that or do I just get into it? Get right into it. Well,

so three months ago, yes. I had an accident. Yes. in which I was on my bicycle and collided with a car and broke my neck. It's crazy. The embarrassing thing that I try to sort of avoid, but not hiding. Yeah.

But definitely, like, never really know how to bring up because everyone immediately like, oh, my God, I can't believe you got hit by the car. Right. It's so crazy. It's your fault. I, yeah, it was my fault. You hit the car. I actually hit the car. Stop.

How? Well, so this is where it gets complicated, right? So the road I was on does not have a bike lane. Okay. And it needs to because it's the only road to get in and out of town. Yeah. It has a small shoulder, which is not adequate, ends at a certain point. So I was trying to make the best decision that I thought possible under the conditions for everyone's safety.

Yeah. By actually leaving the sort of miniature shoulder and entering into the flow of traffic, which I was going about the same speed. Oh. So I looked over my left shoulder to merge into the, there was a space that I sort of went into. And when I looked back, and I still don't know why,

but the cars in front of me had come to a very quick stop. Yeah. And I didn't have enough time to break. Yeah. And I just rear-ended this car, this truck. So you went. I went just head first into the back of a truck. Oh, shit.

Going how fast? I think like 20, 20-hour. Yeah. And it's embarrassing because, like, you know, I could have probably avoided that. But. So does, do people know that? I mean, I haven't, yes, but it's not like it wasn't a part of, right. It wasn't a part of the story that anyone was interested in or matters.

And do you remember anything? Did you black out? Like, what happened after that? Well, it's the only time in my life I've ever blacked, like, bit unconscious. So I remember the moment before when I said, shit yeah in my brain i was like i knew oh no you're like this could be bad right and then i and then the next thing i remember was like my shirt was getting cut off and i'm on a stretcher and i was like oh no like what happened and then my you know your brain technically usually kind of

first to assume like oh i'm okay like i'm fine like right and i kept looking to see or not looking but like i i couldn't see anything wrong with me like in terms of you know bones sticking out or blood anywhere. So I kind of thought, oh, I'm okay. Yeah. But my hands really, really hurt, which was weird because I looked at them and they didn't, I could look at them. Right. And there was nothing wrong with them. So that's why I took a while to figure out what had happened. And it was the, it was the spinal cord that's linked to your hand. Yeah. So because where I broke my, my neck was putting pressure on my spinal cord and that, those vertebrae tend to, like the nerves go to the down to the arms and hands.

So I still have a lot of weird, like, nerves tingling in pain, but it should go away. Anyway, so I'm embarrassed to admit it, but the accident was my fault. And then what is, okay, that's, I don't want to laugh at that because it's not funny, but I'm like, you say you're embarrassed. I'm like, because I felt so bad I'm getting all the sympathy. And yeah, I understand, like, it still sucked that it happened. Oh, yeah. But, you know, you still deserve sympathy.

Well, okay. That is a horrible, horrible accident. I honestly, a confession of mine. on a podcast once was similar yet not so similar to your story because I think I was like 13 years old and I was riding a bike with my girlfriend and I looked behind her and it was one of those times in life where you like it was funny to me it was the first time I saw a dirty car that said wash me on it and I was 13 I was like ha ha and so I like pointed it out to my friend and I was like wash me and she thought I said watch me and I went head first into that vehicle

and luckily I did not break my neck. up and laughed my ass off. But she was like, why did you want me to watch you do that? And so I get your embarrassment to some level. The important thing for me was that I was not doing anything dangerous or irresponsible. Right. I wasn't speeding. I wasn't like trying to do tricks.

Right. I was just on my way to pick up my son from summer camp. Right. Very normally. It wasn't like I was, you know, being dumb. Right. I was just trying to safely navigate a sort of unsafe road. Right.

And I just somehow, you know. So you were picking up your son on the bike? Yeah. Oh, so also a blessing. Well, what's amazing? Yeah. Blessing that it happened before I got there. Right.

So now are you terrified to ride a bike again? I rode my bike here. You did not. Yeah. What? I mean, it's not the bike that's unsafe. I just get so, there's so many freak accidents that happen out there. But now I feel like I had my freak accident.

Oh, that's true. Can't happen twice. It was. It was bad, but also in a way, incredibly lucky and a blessing. Right. So like winning the lottery twice. It's not going to happen. Right.

Like for the last, you know, I'm 40 now. Yeah. But, you know, call it 30 years of riding bikes. Like, yeah, I've had a few little accents here and there. But if you average that out. And you love a bike. Yeah. It's the best way to get around.

Yeah. Okay. Well, I'm glad that, you know, the fact that three months ago you broke your neck. I think exactly. Right? To the day? Well, tomorrow is technically the fifth. So yeah, three months.

Holy shit. So not even three months and you run a marathon, which we'll get to. But didn't the doctors say like they didn't know if you'd even walk? Well, when I, when they saw that I had fractured my spine, immediately the assumption was, okay, this is now much more serious injury. They had to transfer me to a hospital with a specialized ICU for spine trauma. Yeah. And coming in to the hospital, you know, for those first four or five hours, every different doctor and nurse is coming in and they're looking at your scans and there, I had to get, you know, another special imaging thing for my, like, everybody's looking and everyone's expecting, oh, this guy is going to have some paralysis.

Right. There's no way he broke those vertebrae and like they're hearing all this. Like you're... Well, they keep coming in. I can see them talking and hear like little things. And then they keep coming in, and they keep, like, testing and, like, touching all my limbs. Yeah, I've seen Grazed anatomy. And I keep answering them that I can feel that, and they're all shocked.

Wow. They're like, wait, this is crazy. Like, you feel that? You feel it? I'm like, yeah, I feel, I feel that. So there was a little bit of a sense right away that that's great. The fact that he can wiggle his toes and move your fingers and, you know, it was really hard to do all that, but I could do it. Right.

So I think I knew enough from that that I was already far better off than I could have been. Right. But, you know, how and when I would be fully mobile again and if this would heal well or, you know, I would need additional surgeries and then, you know, if it would be how long it would take to have run again, I didn't know. It all seemed like a very gray future of just not knowing. Yeah. Yeah. That's, so when you're in that state of like, because you're probably on painkillers or you're like, yeah, probably not all there, but you're there and you're hearing stuff. Like, are you in full anxiety mode? Are you calm? What was your mental state during that time? So, yeah, the accident happened Monday afternoon. By Monday night, I was in, I was at Stony Brook Hospital in Long Island. And then Tuesday morning at like 6 a.m., they brought me, they took me in for the surgery.

and so yeah you're they put you under for that yeah I've also never had like you know whatever an a line which is a do you know what that is no no no an a line is um it's a stint that goes into your artery through your arm up to your heart basically so they can like monitor your blood pressure oh when you do surgeries especially spinal like they really need to make sure they know exactly like where your heart rate yeah blood pressure and all that is right so that was wild and a catheter here and like it was just i've never been like hooked up like that like full on hospital like everything yeah um so that was scary and intense and i'm in the brace and you know i'm still like dirty and i've got i had stitches on my lips because i had actually

cut my face a little bit so like there's a lot going on yeah um and the first few days, your brain is still trying to sort of figure out what am I going to do about all those things that I was supposed to be doing right now. Oh. You know, like I'm, you know, I have this event here and I was supposed to, you know, I'm training for a race in three weeks and I was supposed to go on the, like, your brain is still like trying to figure out if it's possible that maybe some of these, you could still, like, you're still sort of weirdly trying to sort things out. Right. And then eventually it became clear to me, Like, oh, no, none of that's happening.

Like, let it go. Yeah, we're going to focus on. Right. And just focus on, because I had been really excited to start a new business. And I was, I had taken a few steps. And then, and I remember saying to my dad, like, I got to, like, I got to get back to this guy about that. He's like, Neve.

Yeah. Yeah, take a knee. Take a knee. Can't do anything else right now. Like, just focus on getting better. I know. So it took, it took me like, you know, a couple weeks to find. finally, and some good talks from my dad where he was like,

God bless a doubt. Please, just, you know, don't overdo it. Just wait, take your time, all that stuff you can do. So I guess that answers that. Yeah, yeah. And what was your family, like when they, that they must have been just like their world was probably rocked? The biggest takeaway for me from having this, you know, accident.

Yeah. And medical, you know, experience. was how insanely complicated and difficult it is for your family when you get sick or have an injury. And the fact that the system that this country for the most part chooses to use in terms of health care and emergency services is so complicated and expensive and just difficult to navigate. I couldn't believe between all the different people that help were helpful, whether it was making sure I got seen by a certain doctor or released when I was ready to get released, which can sometimes take days, but someone sent an email saying, hey, I think he's ready.

And then handling the insurance stuff, I mean, you know, if I didn't have an uncle who has a law firm and a friend who knows someone at Sonybrook, like, It's crazy. Yeah, you're like, how do... And my wife who had to obviously take care of the kids and then take care of me and figure out finding someone to be at home to help me for that first week.

Like, it's so much. Yeah. And that's when you really appreciate your family and your friends. No kidding. When you can't do anything for yourself. Yeah. And people are coming forward and, like, yeah, handling it. Wow.

I mean, you're... I feel like you and your wife are such, like, ambitious go-getter, like, kind of people. and that just goes to show it doesn't just mean like in a physical way like emotionally for each other like she of course that's what you do in marriage you showed up for each other and like that kind of a hard time but we're were your kids so scared not really really they were like my dad's a hero actually so he good well so they like they first came to visit me at the southampton hospital yeah which is where they were which is where i first went yeah when they didn't know what was

wrong with me. And I was in mostly good spirits. Yeah. Because again, I wasn't in so much pain like from this. Right. I just had this weird hand pain. And they came in and I put on a really happy face and I gave them a thumbs up and they were so curious about all those hospital stuff and we're touching everything. Yeah. And I just kept saying like, it's okay. I'll be fine. Don't worry. Don't worry. Yeah. And so I think because I could talk and because I was smiling and that's good. telling them not to worry, they didn't worry too much. I mean, I did. I saw, seen somebody in a neck brace like that with a, I was like, oh, shit.

Like, that is so scary. And like the recovery process I'm so impressed with because if you could, how do you get from a broken neck and all surgery to running a marathon less than three months later? How did you do that? You can subscribe to my new broken neck to marathon. Do you have? 12 week training program. I'm going to light me up.

So, again, it's weird because on one hand, I feel unlucky that it happened. Right. You know, I could have just fallen off my bike and had a scrape. Right. But on the other hand, if you're going to break your neck, I got, like, the best version of it, which is such a weird thing to say. Sure. But the fracture was small enough that didn't require any hardware.

Yeah. And I was able to wear the brace for six weeks. weeks, which was awful, but it allowed the neck to heal. And I remember the doctor saying, after he saw my x-ray, my follow-up x-ray, you know, your neck has healed. So you're okay now. And I, the first question was, so what can I do? Can I, like, get back out and run or ride my bike?

And he said, whatever you're comfortable doing, there's, you can't, your neck is not vulnerable anymore. Oh, okay. Now, the bones, the muscles are still a mess. And so weak. The range of motion, yeah, it was really weak. Yeah. So there was a lot of PT and strength training and mobility stuff that had to happen just to feel reasonably okay to do daily activities.

Yeah. But yeah, I mean, I was very lucky that the fracture was able to heal quickly. Well, and your body was probably so, like you take care of your body, right? Like you, you are in good shape. You're so athletic. You've done everything that you probably, that probably helped your cause. I think so, yeah. Yeah.

And then tell me about somewhere along the way you decided to not only train for the marathon, but you wanted to guide. I want to say his name right. Francesco, yeah. But I don't know how to say his last name. Magisano. Oh, okay. Perfect.

Who is a blind runner. Right. How did that opportunity come about? So last year before the New York City Marathon. uh having started but not completed the previous marathon so in 2022 i was trying to run my you know my fastest new york city marathon i trained two weeks before i got an injury and i wasn't sure if it was going to affect me or not it was just in my leg but i ended up not finishing it so i yeah so right it's the only time i've started a marathon and not finished yeah and it was a it was a bummer

but it kind of changed something for me because I thought, you know what? This is kind of silly. Yeah. Why am I training so hard to maybe shave a minute or two off my time? Like, for what? Yeah.

And then in the spring, I thought, okay, if I'm not going to try and run faster than like, why am I doing it? Yeah. Why go through the process every year? Like, what's it for? And it occurred to me that, okay, there's got to be something I can do to make it more meaningful.

I've done fundraisers. I've done all that. But like, it just didn't feel personal enough to me. And I've always seen the Achilles guide runners and athletes every race because they're in all of them, the short, you know, the 5Ks, 10Ks that, you know, they're always out there. And I've always just been admired them and just been so in awe of what they do. And I just thought, oh, I wonder if anyone can do that. And so I just reached out.

And I said, hey, I have a bib for the marathon, but do you need any more guides? Yeah. And Francesco, who happens to be the director of the Manhattan chapter of Achilles. Okay. Was the last person who had not yet assigned himself a guide. And he said, I could use a guide if you want to do it. So we ran last year together. It was so much fun.

And immediately I knew, oh, this is the only way I'm ever going to run this marathon. Really? I was like, this is it. This is a million times more meaningful than anything I had previously done. Not to say that there are, it's not meaningful for other people who run for themselves. But once you run for someone else, it's just a whole other thing. There's so many people out there with stories and why they're running. I was so moved.

I watched it. It was my first New York marathon. And I was like in tears. Yeah, it is. It is. And what I love about Achilles is that for most, pretty much for all of the Achilles athletes, getting to the starting line is the journey. Yeah.

The marathon itself is, yes, it's an accomplishment. But for them, getting to the starting line is really the accomplishment. Well, even, like, I'm not a runner. And I did, I joined a group of people for the shakeout run. Oh, yeah. And I, like, you know, I did my three loops. And I was like, it's, I was like. Community.

Yeah. I was like, I am hyped. This is so, like, inspiring people all have a story. Everyone's running for a reason. I know. And then you realize that, like, energy really does matter when you're going through something hard because I think there's that one place in the run where you're like, you don't see many people.

And it's like, I don't know, mile what, five, eight, maybe 10, 11, I don't know. Right before you cross the bridge, I don't know. I don't know. Well, there's a few bridges. But yes. Anyways, and then you come across and all these people and it's like where you're like, I don't know if I could do this. And then people are like, you got it.

Keep going. And you're like, yeah. Like. Well, so to answer your question, I had, after we ran New York City Marathon, 23 together, Francesco invited me to run Boston with him this year in April, which we did. Yeah. Which was amazing. And then he was like, all right, well, I'm running New York City again.

I'd love to have you guide me for that. So I'd already agreed to and signed up to be his guide again. Yeah. So I texted him two weeks after the accident, which he had known about. Yeah. And I said, look, there's very. low likelihood that even if I can run in November that I'll be able to that I'll want to or that so don't count on me find someone else before it's too late because there's a there's a whole

process of you know signing up and blah blah and he and I should have known but you know he's a he's a guy who went blind in high school and is now a triathlete so like he's not going to let me off the hook basically. He was like, no, Neve. He's like, if I could do this, you can do this. And I'm counting on you. And he said, I don't care if we have to walk it, like, you're going to do it. Oh, really? So he sort of flipped the Achilles guide the whole thing on me and was like, no, I'll guide you if I have to. Like, you're going to do this. And that was when I first thought, okay, maybe I maybe I can. Yeah. So as soon as the doctor said, you're okay, I knew I only had like eight weeks were not even six weeks to get sort of into shape to run you know i had been in shape so i lost

some some time but i just you know i started training right away how did you start training just like walking i jogged a mile holy shit first yeah the first run i went on i just sort of like jogged a mile just because i had no idea what was going to happen were still in a neck brace no i i'd just taken the brace off okay and i waited till the next day to see if like you know i was going to be super sore or whatever, and I wasn't. So then I did, like, I think the next day, two miles a little faster. And then I just sort of got a little longer and a little faster until I was back at my normal pace.

What was the hardest part of the marathon? Well, this was a tough, tougher one for me because I wasn't necessarily, you know, my, you know, the three months leading up to this marathon were not ideal training. Of course. And of course, funny enough, Francesco was in really good shape. So he was going much faster than he'd previously in the two we'd run before. So I had sort of assumed that, you know, our time would similarly kind of, you know, our pace would slow and we'd just kind of jog the second half. But he was...

He kept on. Yeah, he held his pace and actually we ran like a negative split. So the second half of the marathon was faster than the first half. Oh, really? Which is really pretty unusual for most people. I don't know. That sounds unusual. Yeah.

Usually, right. But we'd gone out really conservatively and held a really, you know, good pace. And then he was feeling good. And it was like, all right, let's pick it up. Yeah. And so for me, not having trained very much or as much as I should have. I started to feel like, oh, man, this is hard. Like, I don't, I'm not comfortable going faster,

but I didn't have a choice. Did you feel like, you like, you like, you like, well, I did say, I did at one point. I was like, look, just so, you know, like, I'm hurting. Yeah. Mile like 15 to 20. I told him, you know, we might need to slow down.

Yeah. Worst case scenario. Yeah. But he, again, he was like, you know, you got this, you got this. And then the crowds get bigger. Because that's, that is sort of around where some of the crowds are smaller, right? and the crowds came and and I and some adrenaline kicked in and once you sort of know you're

within a few like you know oh it's only like five more miles you're like all right all right let's go let's go yeah and so we pushed through we ended up running like by 25 minutes faster than he he had previously in april 25 minutes yeah it was a lot it was huge difference yeah well that's crazy because I just am learning about like marathon running and just being there at the at the marathon i was like it's emotional like even just seeing strangers cross the finish line i get choked up or like there's one guy who did not have legs or arms and was on a skateboard hauling and i was like holy shit like it's everything is just so inspirational what did you get do you get emotional at all um marathons or was this one particular for you

or were you just like, rock on? I think for me, the most impactful moments are actually before the race since I started running with Achilles because all of the athletes with disabilities meet and are sort of held in the same little area and you get to talk to them. Yeah. And a lot of them will come up to me, especially. now after my accident because they've heard of it. And so many of them have had spine injuries.

Wow. Right? So there's like a whole new connection now that I have with them. And that's where I get to really feel the sort of emotions of everybody and also the excitement and the sense of accomplishment and anticipation and all that. Once the run starts, you know, you're really just like. You're in the zone. Well, especially when you're guiding because you have to be so focused.

Well, also, people can probably just look up your name and start rooting for you, follow you. Like, do you have a lot of people that are fans of you who put in your bib number or your name and start cheering for you? Yeah, I do. That's cool. Technically, though, it's a weird thing, and maybe we can change it. But as a guide runner, you're not officially... Oh, because I looked up... I looked for you.

You couldn't find me. I could not find you. I know. Oh. You have to put in his bib number. Oh. Because he's the runner and we're just his guys. Got it.

Now, I don't care that I don't officially get a time for the New York City Marathon because I've done that again. Yeah. But it's kind of messed up. Well, because people want to cheer for you. Well, A, because then people can't really track you easily. Yeah. But also, like, there are a lot of people who have guided their spouses or loved ones.

And they've done the work. They've crossed the finish line, too. Like, they deserve to be recognized. And in some ways, it's harder because you've trained for the, marathon and you're guiding or pushing or you know it's like so i think there's a conversation that needs to be had about like all the sort of unseen heroes of marathons and races around the world who aren't even technically getting credit for it wow yeah i'll tell you i never in my life you would have asked me two days ago would you ever run a marathon i'd be like no i can do berries

and i suck at that like but now after being a part of the marathon i'm like yeah i think i'll start I'm turning in right now. You don't have to train for a marathon yet. You could start smaller. Oh. I think a lot of people are like, oh, I can, that's two bits, too crazy. That's true.

Run a 5K. Start with a 5K. Yeah. And then you'll, well, what, what no one knows until you do it is how fun it is to be part of a huge group of people running with fans and water stations and, you know, all the little free giveaways. Like, it's really fun. It's, it's competitive sports for adults who are not competitive.

Do you know what I mean? Like, it's great. problem is, I forget the name of it. I have a severe phobia of throwing up and I'm like, what if I threw up during the marathon? Like, that to me is crippling. But here's the question. When you do throw up, which I'm assuming you have.

Sure. Does something terrible happen? Do you have, do you have like? I don't know if it's like trauma. I had hepatitis B when I was little. Okay. And the amount, this is sick, but like the amount that I was throwing up and like in the hospital like weeks and i like couldn't gain a pound i was so weak i was like it was awful and i think

it's just trauma from throwing up and i'll fight it so bad like i would rather feel nauseous for three days straight than throw up once and feel better i just like can't really oh i love throwing up when I'm drunk? No! I won't do it. Because you know you're so drunk and you're like, I just need to throw up. And then you feel better.

I don't get drunk that often. Yeah, but when you do. But when I have been. Yes. See, I, I'm a drinker and I have never in my life thrown up from drinking. You make your own wine. Yeah, I do.

And I will drink it until I probably should throw up. But I refuse. I won't throw up. I'd rather go to bed with the spins. But I just loved, I loved watching you turn this, like, you know, awful thing that happened to you into, an inspiring story and I didn't realize

that you'd ran with that guy a couple of times so you guys have probably such a cool relationship too to do that what a comeback you know but you know glad you're here now what what do I go from here it's like I did the thing

maybe you just chill out for a minute maybe you take a nap now I'm actually focused on my wife so after I broke my neck six weeks later I was like dying and get back out and run And I remember I went on my first little jog

And my wife who is Way faster than me Yeah Was a track Did track in high school Yeah Was legitimately fast Ran all through college

Like into her 20s Oh wow Got injured when she Right before we met Her knee on a run Oh no Didn't have health insurance Didn't do anything about it

Just sort of thought it would get better And it didn't And then we met, I got into running. And I became like the runner of the family. And she's been so annoyed because she's like, no, no, I'm the runner. That's my thing. So then I break my neck. I get back out to running.

And she's like, all right, if you can break your neck and get back to running, like, I'm going to get back to running too. Yeah. And at the same time, parallel that I was recovering and kind of getting back in shape for this marathon, she started running. And she's now already up to like a half marathon. Yeah, she's incredible. And next month, we're actually going to Egypt to run a half marathon together.

How cool is that? So now I'm like running for her. Oh, that's a fun turnaround. I love that. And how's her eating? And what I'm going to try and do is convince her to run the London Marathon with me in April. That's what I want to go. That'll be her first marathon.

I would love, I love London so much. So sign up. Is it a hard one? I've heard for the most part, everything's easier than New York. Oh, is New York's, why? New York's, I think it's just the Nashville seems to me would be hard because it's so hilly. Well, I'm talking majors.

Oh, majors. Okay, so there's like Berlin, Chicago, New York, New York, London, and Boston. Boston, and now, wait, did we get six? Wait, New York, London, Chicago, Berlin, there's one other, and then now they just added Sydney. Oh, they did? Oh, that'd be cool. Yeah. Yesterday.

Yeah, literally yesterday. They like officially announced that it's now a major too. Oh, that's cool. Wow. Oh, Paris. Paris has, is one, isn't it? I think so. Wait, is running, didn't really start being a thing with COVID or like is running?

I think it really hit its stride. Yeah. Very COVID. That was good. Thanks. I feel like, yeah, I feel like a lot of people have taken up running. Have you always been like a determined go-getter kind of do everything you do, you go hard? Not necessarily.

If I find something that I love that I'm good at, I do it. But it's hard to do that, I think, for most people. And because of my, you know, ADHD brain, like, if I'm not, you know, good at something right away and I don't love it, I don't, I lose interest. I'm the same way. I'm the exact same way. I wanted to pick up a guitar and just like shred, like be like so. good at it and I thought I could because music was like like my grandpa was a musician my dad picked up a guitar and I was like I'm gonna be able to do it and I just can't and I'm like I just

gave I bought a guitar I did lessons and then I was like dance well dance I wasn't very good at when I started because I was insecure I thought if I went full out that I was looking stupid and I remember my mom was my like ballet teacher at one point and she was like you look more silly like try not to like I was trying to be cool do less yeah and then when I was like 13 was your mom a dance teacher yeah she was a professional ballerina you you forgot that in the video private lessons that you had growing up hey you took it in college you did not take dance please okay well what what was your dance background before going on dance you at this no I had a lot of dance performance

You were good! You were really good. And we all know this. I truly, truly thought you were going to win. I was prepared mentally for you to win. You know, I did, I have to reveal something. You won. And I, you know, I don't know if anyone's going to be mad at me for saying this. But after the producers, well, they sent, can I show you what they sent me? Please. They knew that, you know, it hadn't been really very fair. So they sent me a mirror ball. because they knew that I should have won. No. You picked that up at the dollar tree on the way here. That's... Because everyone comes up to me and everyone was like, you should have won. I bet.

Okay, but for real, the amount of people that even said it to me that you should have won. No, stop. No, you were incredible. So were you. Yeah, we were great. But should have been a tie.

You know what? I would have taken a tie because I was in my brain, I remember sitting there and I could, I was trying to convince my brain that I was hearing her say Caitlin, but I kept hearing, Neve and I'm like, he's going to win. But I thought you're going to pull out like a score sheet and they're like, it's like one of those moments where they say the wrong name and you actually did win. That's incredible though. You should put like a whole plaque on the bottom and like. Just make my own. Well, I was going to bring my like Moon Man popcorn because I do have an MTV.

Now that's cool. Yeah, I was going to be just like put it down for the whole thing, but it's really heavy. And I was like, I don't want to. Well, just so you know, the Miraball trophy is not made well. Your MTV mood, that's cool. No, Miraball's cool. Well, the Miraballs are both cool. We all have, we have wins.

We're winners. Yeah, I truly, like, Catfish is one of the longest running, like, shows that does so well. Is it like, what is going, where is catfish? catfish out right now catfish is uh we're we're in the process of getting started with hopefully we'll be the next cycle so how many seasons have you guys done you know i have to i should do the math i know that we've made just about 300 episodes and they usually airs in chunks of like 10 or 12 yeah if you do that math it's like 28 or 26 seasons yeah but they don't call each one of those a season it's complicated yeah yeah but we've been on the air for 12 years that's crazy because

You guys just kind of started with, like, what was it? You and your, was it your brother? Well, the show was always me and Max. Yeah. And he was the first six years. And then we had some guests while we found Cammy. Yeah. And Cammy was on it for four years.

And now she just left. And we're probably going to start looking for a new co-host now. Okay. I'll trade you a spot for the mirror ball. Okay. You can have my mirror ball if I can co-host with you. I need to officially concede. What do you mean?

You need to publicly concede the win. Oh. You have to say... I was about to agree to that. And then I was like, ooh. Is it old news that... Do you just unfollow people like... Okay.

So let's get into that quickly. Okay. Yeah. So at some point, I don't even know now. Maybe it was a year or two ago. Yeah. I was getting kind of grossed out by social media. Yeah.

And I was just over the whole thing. Yeah. and I just felt like I was spending too much time looking at people's lives that I don't care about, right? So I just unfollowed everyone. Oh, like a clean suite. Which, by the way, is really time-consuming because there's no way to do it fast.

You have to just go each person. They changed that, by the way. Oh, did they? Yeah, they just did an update. You can like... Oh, you can like mass edit. You can like click all one... Oh, select all?

Okay. Well, I unfold everyone. Yeah. And then I just had my wife. Yeah. Because I kind of thought that was cool and that would just help me keep me, you know, from scrolling mindlessly or the stories were really what was killing me. Like, why am I looking at these stories and making myself jealous? Yes, we all do it.

Whatever. Yeah. And then after like a month or two, I did start to miss a few people. Yeah. So I was like, all right, let me, because I want to stay connected and I do want to know what my friends are doing or if they're in town. Right. And then I've slowly built back up. But I forget that I've, that I'm not following people until something comes up.

This happens to me all the time. If I unfollow someone, it is like, what is that, like, something rule. It's, I will see them. Like, I will see them. I know. It'll be someone I haven't seen in six years. And I'll unfollow and then they're, like, standing beside me at an airport. And I'm like, what?

Like, I'm going to do that to somebody I want to see. You can't really, like, pretend. And I mean, maybe they don't even notice and or care, but, like, some people have that thing where it, like, shows you when people unfollow you. That would hurt my feeling. Does it mean you're not friends anymore if someone unfollow you? No. It just means you weren't ever great friends to begin with.

Right. Or something bad happened. But it's a pretty clear way of saying like not interested. Yeah. Which. Right. It's hard to not take it personally. Right.

But it's also not that personal. That's why my wife Laura is always like just mute them. Yeah. I'm more of an unfollow guy. I love unfollowing. Me too. It's like a little pettiness in me. Like it feels good.

totally yeah passive aggressive but that's me I've I talked about this with my therapist all the time like my favorite way of like showing feelings is passive aggressiveness right I'm like I think it gets I also like watching the stories of people I've unfollowed

oh wow wow oh you do see I wouldn't want people to see that I like I don't know it doesn't have there aren't that many people but like once in a while I'm like oh I wonder what that person's up to and I'll go and I'll be like oh I forgot I unfollow them and then I'll say well I still want to look at their story. That's so, why did, did you unfollow, what was your co-host, Cammy? Yeah.

During that sweep? Yeah, everybody. Oh, okay. Because some people were asking, they're like, ask why he unfollowed. Oh, yeah, no, no, no. Okay. That was all part of that. Wow.

Do you just, like, I am sure people pitch this to you all the time. In fact, I think I've pitched it to you, but like a catfish show for trolls where it's like, because they're like, there's some terrible people out there. We did it. We did catfish trolls. We made three episodes. But what happened? People didn't want to sign the waivers. No, I don't think that was the problem.

I think it wasn't me. I wasn't hosting. Oh. Maybe part of the problem. That's part of the problem right there. MTV got Charlemagne and someone else. It was a while ago. And I don't know why, but for whatever reason, it lost momentum and then they just...

I want to do it so bad. I think you could probably look up those episodes. They're pretty funny. I would... Like, that is my... dream is to meet like there's a few very specific ones where I'm like I mean they hate me and I would be so freaked out if it was somebody I knew or somebody that like oh you know I think that's possible yeah I guess I hadn't thought of that like an ex's mom or something like just trolling

or whoever I don't know but that's crazy so so when you do these catfish episodes and these people look like I mean fools but they still have to sign Who, the catfish or the... The catfish? Yeah, okay, the catfish. They have to sign a waiver to show their face on TV. They do. So what do they want?

Do they want a little claim to fame or are they not afraid? Are they like, do they get paid? Well, they get paid. Oh, okay. Yeah. I mean, it's not, you know, life-changing money. Yeah. But it's meaningful.

And for some of these people, if they don't have a job or if they have bills or expenses that they need help with, like it's enough to help. Yeah. I think the success of the show and the fact that we'd be able to be able to, to continue doing this and people keep coming on despite the fact that you could argue it make you know they look less than ideal right is because we try and i think succeed in treating them fairly yeah and and humanely yeah that's fair and not judging them and giving them a chance to actually tell their story be seen be heard express themselves and sadly so many people

never have anyone care about them enough to even ask them how they're feeling. No, I mean, it's true. Yeah. If you'd be amazed what people will tell you if you just ask and are prepared to listen

and not have an agenda or... Do you hear any, like, stories after where are you, like, finish filming and that person's actually, like, went and got help and they're, like, thriving now? Well, yeah, we've had people who've come on the show whose lives have definitely turned around. mostly though I do hear because sometimes we'll film I'll really like someone or I'll

you know have had a nice experience yeah and then a producer will after everything is done say like oh god that person was such a pain in the butt oh really they could they were so rude I'm like wow like they you it's amazing how people can trick you yeah you know and these are people that that are good at that so I mean that's what they do right they're tricksters um okay last thing before I let you go is a lot of people wrote in wanting to know relationship advice for if you're going through a hard time, how do you get through it? I'm not. So my wife and I are different in many ways. She's great at taking on issues sort of as they come communicating how she's feeling in the moment. I'm not great at that. But I am really good at listening and process.

taking my time right and then responding yeah i don't have the kind of brain power and intellect that she does to interpret and come up with things on the spot i need time to like process yeah so both of those things are very helpful yeah i'm definitely working on saying things more as it you know being more communicative yeah right and and and just open about things so i guess relationship advice um man well because i feel like a lot of people like at home going through a hard time like what relationship doesn't you know what relationship doesn't but i you know for the ones that are right now like it's so hard because it's so easy to be like we should just go our separate ways that's probably what's best for both of us how do you um stay strong to make it through to come out the other side

see light at the end of the tunnel okay well barring any kind of physical or emotional abuse yeah which you should never put up with. Do you feel a love, the love that I feel for Laura is such a strong force unlike anything else I've ever felt that I know I want to be with her. If I didn't feel that, I would make different decisions. Yeah, that's fair. I guess I think people always deep down know, you know. I think right. I think the biggest mistake people make is trying to stay in a relationship even if they don't think that's really what they want anymore.

Yeah. Because they're afraid of what the world is going to be. Or what the alternative is, which is being single, going on shitty dates. Yeah, yeah. Being lonely and unhappy and like don't, you know, don't stay in a relationship if it doesn't feel like you should just because you don't want to break up or be single. And then, you know, again, life and relationships are long, can be very long. Yeah. And just, just know, okay, this is going to be a shitty week or a month.

Yeah. Or even year. But do I think this person is still incredible? Do I still love them? And if so, be patient. You know, there's definitely a lot of things I've learned about, like, if you're having an argument, things not to say, like you always. Yeah.

Or, you know, like, I never. Like, just, you learn all these little. tools all these little things to avoid yeah how to believe in therapy i don't i don't think believe is the is the right word i think therapy is great okay yeah i agree i agree i just never it's not it's not it's not a it's not a religion yeah it's not it's not well right but it's not some uh i don't think that there's a a question of whether it's real or not you know it's it's a it's a thing it's proven it's changed my life so yeah yeah yeah the proof is but i do think Finding the right therapist is important.

That is very important. I had a therapist that I liked. Yeah. But every time I tried to talk to Laura about the things I talked about with him, it was a mess. Yeah. And I was like, maybe that's, maybe that isn't the right therapist for me. Yeah. I think people want to give up to if they don't find the right therapist right away, but there is always somebody out there for you.

I just recently found a new one that I'm like, wow, where have you been all my life? All right. So I'm so excited to announce that I am the new host of Catfish with Ney. and uh and you've conceded your win we'll talk about that on another podcast thank you so much for coming on i've been wanting a podcast with you for a long time i'm glad we made it work can i get you to commit on the record to running a marathon in 2025 oh shit 2025 yeah next year you got you got plenty of time could be london why do i want to say yes say yes wow all right I'm Caitlin Bristow. I'll see you next Tuesday.