Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Oh For LaSure! with Blaire LaSure

Episode Date: July 30, 2018

Kaitlyn meets up with the winner of her Dew Edit scrunchie contest winner Blaire LaSure! Listen in as they talk Mayochup, develop "The Blairette", and finish strong with a rap battle. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Welcome to Off the Vine. Thank you. I'm your host, Caitlin Bristow, and in the studio today, a very special guest. Blair, what's your last name? Lecher. Lecher. Yeah. People want to make it fancy.

Like, Lechre. Lecher. I'm like, Lecher. Lecher. I'm from South. Like, yeah. Sure. And then everyone says, oh, are you Lecher about that?

And I'm like, never heard it. People and they're freaking jokes, right? I'm like, nobody, well, the only nickname I got in, like, joke people made in high school was they call me Caitlin no breastos but whatever I'm over it um Blair won the contest yes I did to come on the podcast because you made I again I hate the epic word I hate it I hate it let's call it let's be real it was pretty epic it really was I'll give you that extra too the other E word extra I can say that because I feel like I'm like too old to use it so it's funny if I try and say extra but that video was extra it was I retweeted it

I kind of want to post it on my Instagram. You made a rap about Off the Vine, Drinking Wine, Scrunchies, being in Scrunchy Gang. It was a very 90s vibe. You were on roller skates. I know. Oh, you should have seen me when I was actually filming it. I wanted to fall like four times.

I have so many. That makes it even better, though. But what, like, what, are you like a very creative thinker? Yes. Okay. And did you do that all on your own? Okay. So here's the thing.

Tell me everything. I, so every time there's like a contest, I'm like, oh, got to rewrite the lyrics, make a rap and make a music video. My girl. Like that's just where my mind goes. Yep, I hear you. And so my, actually a coworker told me about the contest because I literally wear scrunchies like every day to work. Oh my gosh. And she was like, did you know Caitlin Bristow like started a scrunchy line?

And I was like, no, but I love her. Yes. So then I found out about it. And I was like, okay, music video time. Let's do it. Yeah. And so then I like rewrote the lyrics and then. kind of like put together instrumental tracks

and then I went in the recording studio at work and recorded it and then one of our like audio editors kind of like sweetened it a little made me sound a little bit better wow I know and then there's some serious effort going on there it is like no wonder that you won like people were tweeting me being like she wins I saw that I was like wow

there are still nice humans I know the internet can be a scary place but I feel like off the vine listeners are very sweet so they were that's so yeah it's so incredible to me that you actually put in that effort. Yeah.

And the fact that, because I was going to fly people here, I was like, she's in Nashville. I know. I can just bring her right on over down the street. I work like five minutes from here. I was like, be there in a sec. Okay. What do you do? And what did you do in school that made you so creative and in the industry to like go in and do this music stuff?

Well, so I work at CMT. Amazing. And I work in the promos department. Okay. I hope to want to be a producer. But like ever since middle school, like me and my friend Bailey, we literally, it was Before I, Carly, I think they stole the idea from us. We had a web show, and it was called the Blair and Bailey show.

No, my gosh. So embarrassing now. But it was like, we thought it was, there's like one video. We deleted them when I got to high school because I was like, oh, this is so embarrassing. Biggest regret of my life, honestly, deleting those. Yeah. But we had like 10,000 subscribers. And when we deleted it, yeah, people were like, what happened to Blair and Bailey?

And I was like, oh, my fans, wow. They love us. Wait, that's actually kind of cool, though. Yeah. But so, I mean, that's kind of where it started. And then I just kind of wanted, I wanted to do music videos for a while. Now I don't really know what I want to do. I just know I want to be a producer.

That's so cool. So where did you move here from? I'm from Augusta, Georgia, went to school right outside of Atlanta, Georgia at Kennesaw. Hootie-hoo, all my owls. Oh, hoot-hoo? Yeah, hoot-hoo. Yeah. And then moved here right after college for an internship at CMT.

Wow. I've been there ever since. Well, I did something between my internship and working full-time, but that'll come later. It's part of my confession. Oh, yes. Okay, I can't wait. But you don't sound like you're from the south. Really?

No? Oh, everyone always talks about my southern accent. What? Especially when I went like kind of out west, everyone was like, oh, yeah, I guess so. Hi, y'all, I'm Blair. And I'm like, I don't sound like that. No, you don't sound like that. But, okay, I can kind of hear a subtle southern accent, but not as strong as, I mean, is Augusta, I'm a Canadian, obviously.

So I'm like, is Augusta Georgia, like, really southern or no? No. I mean, it's like kind of on the border of South Carolina. Yeah, but I'm not that great at geography. Oh, okay, good. Me either. I mean, I always have an excuse because I'm like, I'm like, oh, I'm going to. You're like, oh, I don't have to know anything about the U.S.

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Oh, of course. We have girls over every Monday to watch. Do you really? We do. Do you always do that? We do. I know every time I say the word do now, I'm like, ah, do? You're like, I like my scrunchy line.

And then I plug myself. I'm like, go buy your scrunchies. Yeah. So you have people over every Monday. We do. And what, tell me your thoughts right now. Oh, gosh. I have so many thoughts.

Okay, first of all, who, wait, who's left right now? Jason. Jason. I love him. You do. I feel like people are, he grew on me. Yeah. I didn't like him at first.

Yeah. And then I don't know when it was, but I was like, like literally all of us in one episode, we were like, oh my gosh, team Jason. Yeah. Like, he, he, he, I called him the silent thunder because he literally came out of nowhere. I was like, bam. Yeah. But I don't, I think he's Bachelor potential.

I don't think she's going to pick him. I don't either, but I don't know about Bachelor. Really? Well, it's just so weird. I think he's awesome. I think he reminds me of like one of my Canadian, like, buddies back home. Like, he just seems like a really cool, down-to-earth, funny, nice guy. Yeah.

And I don't know what it is. I'm just like, I guess when I think of who's going to be The Bachelor, I think of somebody that we've loved through the whole season. I feel like he just came out of nowhere too fast and then was, like, I'm guessing. I actually don't know. I know one spoiler, but I don't know this. My guess is that he goes home. He gone. Bye, Jason.

Bye. Hit me up. Yeah. Yeah, hit up Blair. I have Fresh Prince of Baller. No, you know what? If he's not The Bachelor, I'm going to set you guys up on a blind date. Thank you.

You already know what he looks like. Yeah. On a date. Maybe he listens to the podcast because I talk about The Bachelorette. Yeah. So, Jason, if you're listening. He seems like a good guy, too. I need a good guy. He does.

I guess I don't, it's not that I think of him as like, oh, he'd be a terrible bachelor. I just, he just doesn't seem like. I don't feel like we've got to know him enough. But I also, I don't. know. I don't know. Who do you think it's going to be? That she picks or that's going to be the bachelor? Bachelor. Well, from what I see, I'm like, Blake is getting some serious bachelor editing. So I wouldn't be surprised if it was, if it was Blake. See, I could see him too, but I feel like, I think she's going to pick Garrett. And so then I'm like, is he going to be

too heartbroken? Because I would say Blake would be the bachelor, but he might be too heartbroken. So then that's why I say Jason. You're right. And they've been like so all over the map with who they pick for what like you it used to be like whoever sent home third usually becomes the bachelor bachelor bachelor lately they've kind of been all over the map that's true but so i think they'll save maybe peter will be ready to oh my gosh okay i take it back i don't want jason i want peter yes the world wants peter to be the bachelor they do what is the thing about peter what is it that does it for you that's so peter's just easy on the eyes oh i don't think i could actually date peter he doesn't seem like my type but he's just good he's nice to look at

You'd like to watch him on TV be The Bachelor. Exactly. Yes. Okay. I could see him dating other girls and I wouldn't be like hurt by it. I'd be like, you go. Yeah. You go, Peter.

I get a woman. Yeah, I get it. Blake, to me, I think you're right. If he gets broken up with, he is going to be a mess. But that's, but then I'm like, but Becca was a mess. And she was engaged. So I just don't know. I think they used to do the whole like it's too soon because he's heartbroken or she's heartbroken.

But I mean, it's also the Bachelor where now they can just be like, and just getting like a minute for the like yeah yeah she'd turned around pretty pretty down quick yeah she did because once you get out of the bubble you kind of realize like oh oh was I really didn't know like that yeah exactly that's what Sean and I always say that we started dating after the show like that's when we really started dating and getting to know each other because I mean other than that I mean that's how you usually should do it get engaged and then get to know and then get to know yeah so I planned to do it's 2018 you know anything's possible so I found out here while doing some serious snooping

that you have a tie to the Bachelor world. Oh, is that a... That was part of my confession, Caitlin. Okay, let's confess. Let's confess. Well, it was supposed to be like a big spoiler to you, but... Oh. I did...

I do research. It's fine. You can creep on me. I did deep creeping. My confession was going to be that I once clogged a toilet at the Bachelor mansion. wait that's still glorious yeah it's pretty great that's so funny which bathroom um all the toilets suck yeah it's the one kind of near the fireplace like oh yeah yeah yeah yeah it just like wasn't doing

anything and i was like run blair run that they'll never know well at least you're not like miced up yeah like at least you don't know i know i did like turn my like pa like thing off yeah nobody can hear me that's so funny i feel like the toilets always got clogged in the house yeah always That's so funny. Okay, tell me everything. How did you get to do that? So I actually, do you know, do you remember Lisa? Was she?

Did she? Yeah. Yes. So I saw her on Instagram and I randomly messaged her after my internship. And I was like, hey, I saw you work for the show. Like, are they looking for PAs? Blah, blah, blah, blah. And she being the nice person that she is was like, let me pass along your resume.

And I was like, this will never happen. And then they were like, hey, we love for you to. come out here. And so, I mean, I literally like flew there, got an Airbnb in a rental car. So I made no money. But I was like, this is great. It's good on the resume. Exactly. And it's such a fun experience. You got to be in the Bachelor Mansion. Oh, yeah. It was great. It was next season, wasn't it? Yeah. That's so funny. But I mean, were the girls great? Yeah. That was one with Corinne. Oh, right, right, right, right. Oh, tough season to. She was a little cray cray. Yeah. Of course. I was like, ooh, this girl is fun. Oh, my gosh. So did you get to like get to know the girls?

Or did you kind of have to keep a... I did kind of the, like, hey, Blur, go buy the girl's alcohol. And I was like, again, we just bought them alcohol. Oh, so much. Oh, yeah. Okay. So isn't that crazy? Because in the mansion, there's just a piece of paper, like a pad of paper in the kitchen.

And you just, like, wake up in the morning, you're like, put down what you want, it to be in the fridge or whatever the next day. And then it just go. Go get it. Well, thank you for your service. You're so welcome. Gosh, happy to help. I don't know what the show would do without people like you. who go to refill the alcohol.

Now people's job, if they had your job, are bored because you can't drink that much alcohol on the show anymore. Yeah. Well, we also like, you know, get the trash. All the fun, glorious things. I mean, it's got to be a good experience, though. Yeah. I mean, it was awesome.

I loved it. I just, so funny. L.A. wasn't for me. So I was like, man, it'd be cool to work on the show for a while. But it was just not for me. Well, that's great experience. But, no, I understand. Yeah.

Would you ever want to be a producer on the show? I'm just too nice. I feel like I would be like, oh. these are my friends. I can't, like, go behind their back. It's hard to separate it. Yeah, I don't think I could do it. I hear you on that one. And you currently live in Nashville. I do. Working for CMT. What has your favorite experience in Nashville been so far? Since you work for CMT, you must get to do some pretty cool things. Yes. Oh, gosh. One of my favorite nights probably so far in Nashville was we had a crossroads with the Backstreet Boys in Florida, Georgia Line. Oh, wow. And so me and my

friends went and we were like front row. And I was like, this is my childhood dream. coming to life the back street boys are right in front of my face and it was aren't they just incredible i can't believe they've come out with new music and it's like it's good it's pretty catchy it sounds like they're old stuff yeah like when they were they were coming on our award show and i was like they're not country why yeah and then the whole time they were performing i was like baby don't and i was like okay love it love it good job producers yeah yeah that's so funny i want so badly to get some of them on my podcast like do it that to me like I don't get nervous for a lot of things, but I just feel like it would be so, like, nostalgic that I would be sitting here.

And, like, my 13-year-old self would just be, like, freaking the F out over, I mean, Brian would be goals for me. Yeah. It was, it was pretty great. Yeah. Where was that? They usually film them at the factory. Oh. Yeah. So, I mean, it's, like, pretty small venues, usually. Oh, that's. Yeah, it was fun. So you have to, like, know somebody to get in there?

Yeah, but now you know me. There you go. I'm like going to use you. Yeah. Hey, let me in. Wait, I want to circle back to this Bachelor business. Okay. The fact that you were there and doing stuff, did you ever see anything or like, see anything that you were like, whoa.

Shocking? Like something that surprised me or like? Yeah. Anything that surprised you. Something that people who are fans of the show would be like, whoa. Like, I always say there's rats in the mansion. Did you ever see the rats? Oh, no.

Oh, yeah, there's rats. Was the dishwasher working when you were there? Because the dishwasher never works. I don't think I was like in the kitchen that often. I'm trying to think. I mean, I feel like there was probably things. But now that I feel like so long ago and I'm like. I think they put the pool.

They make it like so ice cold that you can't jump in it because then you have to take your mic off and they don't want you to take your mic off because then you could talk about things that they won't catch on camera. That's a really good theory. Yeah. It's like freezing cold. Like you don't want to go in that pool. And then we had a pool party once on our season of the beach.

bachelor and also in the pool was like a nice temperature i was about to say because a lot of times once like once everyone leaves the mansion like once they start traveling on the show like all of the crew and like the pas they'll like have a pool party oh yeah so they probably make it back to normal temperature yeah exactly they're like all right our time to hang in the pool that's so funny did you ever go in the pool no because i i like went out there and i booked my flight and my Airbnb for three weeks because they were like this is when they leave the mansion like and then i didn't know i could stay for longer because then they were like well now we have to like wrap everything yeah and I was like my flight is back home so I had to leave but well at least you got that experience I think that's cool

yeah what a small world like I'm like you you live in Nashville you always were scrunchies and you worked on the show and you got picked to be on here well and then someone messaged me yesterday and was like did you know she goes to title boxing and I was like oh yeah I saw that on your Instagram yeah I was doing I told you deep creep hey and I saw that too because I was like well I go to title all the time but I always go out to the one in Cool Springs and I was like oh that's yeah because I saw the location and I'm like have we have we never been boxing at the same time what time do you go well I ended my membership in like January yeah so now I go to the downtown line oh okay okay oh I go there sometimes too Sean goes there a lot oh not anymore because he has his own gym you should go to

his gym oh yeah I mean booth camp gym I'm poor so oh yeah he's pricey yeah he's pricy well I haven't looked at the prices but I imagine he's pretty He's worth a lot. Hey, I won't argue that. That's my way of trying to say it. No, it's like, well, if you sign up for actually a membership, it's reasonable. But it's a great gym. I'm like trying to sell you on it so hard.

Yeah, everyone, booth camp. And go to it. At Booth Camp, Jim on Instagram. He's trying so hard. Wells Fargo is a company with a storied past and a big part of that past was built around building trust. So back in the day when the country headed West for Gold, Wells Fargo was the bank trusted to bring it back. East. But somewhere along the way, Wells Fargo lost their way. So now they're working hard to earn your trust again. They're making things right by ending product sales goals for branch

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scrunchies. Wow. Yeah. We're coming out with new scrunchies, but I want to know like what the people want. So what's like your favorite, like, do you like the swimsuit material? Do you like the cloth material? I was about to say, this is kind of like velvety and it's kind of fun. Velvet is what I want to come out with next. Yeah, I like it. I feel like velvet's back. Mm-hmm. Just like the 90s. The 90s are back. They really are. I'm about them. Fanny pack. Do you own one? Oh my gosh. My, I literally wear like I wear scrunchies and fanny packs all the time. Yeah. Like literally like a week or two ago, I was wearing a fanny pack and my boss was like, Hey, Blair, you know you're never going to get a boy from wearing that fanny pack, right? I was like,

um excuse me you'll get the right kind of guy i want is going to be like yes babe oh rocking that fanny pack and i'm like thanks love you okay you know what i really like your attitude i really do because that's what i would say i'm like you have to be unapologetically yourself to attract the right people because if you're going to get a boyfriend you want him to love your i was going to swear love your scrunchies i got really passionate about the scrunchies you want him to love your style and be like this chick is so confident she wears fanny packs and scrunchies i know like i saw someone today on twitter said like if you wear scrunchies on your wrist like that's bad bitch energy yeah b b b e wow yeah so we've got b b b b b yeah bad bitch energy i'm so into it i was like i don't know who this guy is somebody

just like tagged me in it but i retweeted it like i agree sir and i'm like oh my gosh did you see the person that retweeted my video and said stop white people to k-18 no i was dying oh my It was like right after you shared it, and then he said, stop white people 2KAT. No, he didn't. Can't say I disagree with you, sir. Tough, tough, but fair. Yeah. That's so funny.

I know. I was like, I did say in the caption, I don't look cool. So like, I thought you looked so cool. Thank you. I thought it, I honestly, here's a confession for you. I was on the toilet while I was watching your video. That's pretty perfect for me because I spend a lot of time there. You clogged one at the bachelor mansion.

I was clogging one while I watched your video. Like, why am I single? Like, I poop all the time. Come on, fellas. She's real, guys. Yeah. She's real. Don't you want to...

Wait, you know what we should do? What? We should put, like, do something on Instagram or, like, Twitter and have, like, a competition, like, you were the Bachelorette, and we could put you through, like, a round of, like, 10 guys, and we'll make Instagram stories out of it. Okay. This is happening. Yes.

So, okay, we'll call it the Blair Churlorette. That's kind of perfect. The Blair Chlorette. It's really hard to say. I know. The Blarrette. The Blarrette. Okay.

It's called the Blaret. We're going to, I'm going to put it out on social media. Okay. We're going to pick 10 top guys that you are like, okay, those are 10 guys, I could tell it. But you have to, I got, I'm going to play a producer here. You got to pick a couple crazies. Okay. That's, yeah.

And like, you know. That's fair. Like a Jordan. Yeah. Yeah, you have to pick a Jordan, you have to pick a drunk guy. Also, you can throw in like a Ben Higgins kind of guy that's just like, well, when you're hurt. He's too nice, though. That's what I want.

Oh, you do? Okay, no, I'm into that. I'm into that. I really like nice guys. Like, Ben Higgins, if he wasn't, like, swarmed with girls all the time, he'd be like, I would go for him. But, like, I just don't think I could date someone that's constantly, like, trust me. Bombarded. I know.

I know. Oh, yeah, that's true. Your fiancé probably gets swarmed all the time. you opened a gym where all the girls can find you on Bachelorette parties in Nashville. You're like, hey, remember me, his fiance? Like, I'm like, member of the time I never see you anymore and you're constantly. I'm like, girls can find you. He's like, yeah, it's a business.

You're like, okay, fine. Okay, fine. Yeah. I'm like, okay, come back with that paycheck. But I think this is going to be really interesting. The blaret. The blaret. I'm ready for it.

We're going to pick 10 people, have a couple, a couple drunks, couple crazies, a few good ones, and we're going to narrow it down. And each week, that will become great therapy when the Bachelorette is over. Each week, we will narrow it down. And we will be, these guys will have to come on the podcast. What if this worked? Just like, I mean, it worked for you. It's going to.

I'm putting it out into the universe. Okay. Excuse me. I'm putting it out into the universe right now. Perfect. This is how you're going to find the love of your life. It's going to be so weird. It's happening.

We got to get you out. fits. Look at you like hair and makeup? Yes. Glam me up. I actually just got a new roommate and she's like a makeup artist. Of course she is because that's, this is the universe is answering us. And then my best friend, Allie, she's the one that took my videos.

Yeah. She's like a photographer. Like, she worked for like Show Me or Mumoo and like places like that. She's currently looking for a job. Hire her. But I mean, if this can become her job, she can be my personal photographer for the Bluette. We are making a series out of this. Yes.

On my Instagram. Okay. I'm down. I'm here for that. Let's. Hey, we are here for the right reasons. Let's do it. Let's do it. Everybody who knows my scrunchies thinks it's called dood it. Okay. That's what I understand. At work, someone was like, oh, it's doot it. And I was like, oh. Caitlin just spilled her wine. I got excited. And I over sipped. I'm like, what am I new to drinking wine?

You love your scrunchies. That's great. At least I'm wearing black. I just, I just spilled red wine all over my black. True. It's, you know, I did it. Don't look at me like that out there. Um, but it's due edit, right? Yes. Okay. That's what I told. I was like, no, it's do edit. They're like, no, it's dude. I was like, okay. Thank you for knowing the real term. It's do edit. Everybody else. I get it. Totally looks like dude it. So what's the edit part? Like, are you? I don't really know. Okay. Um, do was taken. Um, so then I wanted to do like do collective. But that was, I think, taken or something. There was some reason, but. There was some reason, but. Edit is like, let me Google this. Okay. This is fun. I'm going to drink my wine. Yeah, you drink your wine, but I'm like so good.

Okay, do. Oh, no, no, not in due. Edit. Let's just see the definition of edit. Okay. My girlfriends happened to be like part of my team and they came up with, we all came up with do, but it was taken obviously just do on Instagram. That'd be like too easy. Edit.

Edit definition. To supervise or direct the preparation of a, oh, yeah, I guess so. Okay. It's like you're directing the company. Okay, I see. Yeah. You're doing it. You're like, you're creating it.

You're editing it. I mean, that's kind of what I thought, but, you know. I had to Google it. You knew what it was. Let me tell you about my brand. One second. Let me check Google one sec. Stand by.

Let me Google what my company is about. That makes sense, so, duet. I'm really glad we got through this together. I get it now. It's a learning experience for everyone. Question for you, because now I'm thinking about scrungies in 90s. Yeah. Do you remember purple ketchup?

Oh, my gosh, yes. And it was green too, right? And green. And green ketchup. I was about to say, and red. It's always red. Do you know what they have coming out now? Mayo Chup.

I knew you're going to get excited about this. Did you see my tweet? Yeah, I did. You really, okay. I am so excited. I literally, like, put, because they did like a pole, like, Heinz. Yeah. And they were like, if we, like, if this many people like it, Mayo Chup is coming to

stores. I, like, put it on my Instagram. I was like, come on, people, this is what we've been waiting for. It is what we've been waiting for. Like, the fact that it hasn't been made yet. I know. And, like, this, I'm glad we're having this conversation because it needs to be talked about. It does. It's a serious matter. It's fancy sauce. Have you ever seen Step Brothers? I, sorry. I haven't. Oh. I know. Okay. One downfall here. We're going to be fine. We're going to be fine. On Step Brothers, they mix. I'm going to look this up. On Step Brothers, they mix. They mix. mayo and ketchup and call it fancy sauce let me pull this up i told my friend kela because we both love mayo chup so much and i was like as soon as this comes to store we are having a party we're

going to have hot dogs corn dogs french fries and all the mayo chup in the world can i please come yes okay listen you might want to try this i make a sauce we call it fancy sauce for me that um brandon really likes with his chicken nuggets It's my fancy sauce Oh yeah, chicken nuggets will be there I'll give you some of this and it's ketchup and mayonnaise mixed together so

I want some fancy sauce Yeah I've done using it It's good Can I have fancy sauce? Of course I'm using it right now Okay

So let's just Let's just let you try some Yeah I really would like some This is all I think about That's going to be us at my party with chicken nuggets. Yes. The fancy sauce. Here you go.

Thanks. Just ketchup and mayonnaise. He doesn't like it. It smells weird. Oh, my gosh. It's just so funny because now I'm like, it used to be so much effort to mix and to get two different condiments out of the fridge. Yeah. And put them, you know, each and then use a mixer.

And then you don't know the ratio. I was about to say, I hope they get the ratio, right. What is it? What's your ratio of catch? chup in the mail usually when i use it the most as a chick-fil-a because duh everyone loves chick-fil-a and i actually am doing a race tomorrow and i messaged the chick-fil-a on charlotte and i was like hey want to sponsor me and they were like they were like we'll give you a free negat tray after your race i was like yes what that's amazing

i know but so there i just do one packet to one packet oh so 50 50 yeah i guess 50 50 it's the same amount and i mix it with a fry and then eat the fry yeah of course yeah and that's the best fry exactly It's so good. It's like soup with a little frying. Yeah. Like would you like some fry to go with your fancy sauce. Exactly. That's so funny. Okay. I would say 60, 40. Which way? With more ketchup. Okay. I'm like, I really love ketchup. And when I get too much of a mayo flavor, it kind of grosses me out. Yeah. I feel less guilty when I have more of a ketchup flavor. It's less calories. It's less calories to go 60, 40. I mean, if you're going to have French fries, just add some healthy condiments. Wait, it's Heinz that's doing this? I think so. I can't wait.

Don't buy it. Don't buy it because they're going to send me a box. And you're going to send me half a box. 60, 40. I'll send you 40% of the box. Because I did a story on my Instagram because I will find random Heinz packets of ketchup, like, little mini ones in my purse. I found one in my bathroom. I'll find them in my pocket because I just always have them on hand in case I want to throw some ketchup.

Like, I like ketchup on pizza. I'm crazy. Okay. That's new. I'm a ranch girl on my pizza. I am too, but have you ever had ranch mixed with ketchup? I haven't. Well, you're in for a treat.

Okay. That's what I'll do tonight. 60-40. Okay. What was like, oh, yeah. So Heinz was like, we saw your story and they sent me a box of ketchup. Oh. So now.

Well, now, Heinz better send that mayo chup. I'm pretty sure. Chup. Is it? Google it. Mayo chep. The first thing that comes up. Mayo chup.

A disgusting new condiment. Okay, sir. Or lady, I won't assume. Yeah, I'm not into that. It's USA Today. What do they know? Heinz teased mayo chup. A new mayo and ketchup condiment.

Online debate. Okay, Mayo chep is already available internationally. What? But U.S. consumers have yet to find the condiment. A pre-mixed mayonnaise ketchup product made by craft. My mouth is watering. in stores. We, based in Chicago and Pittsburgh, Wednesday on Twitter, they did a survey.

That was the one I was a big advocate for. By early Thursday afternoon, there were more than 500,000 votes with 50, wait, I'm insulted at the percentage. 55% in favor of the hybrid. 55? What kind of world do we live in? You know what? I'm not surprised.

With this world today, 55% would vote for that. That's embarrassing. Several of the nearly 8,000 comments responding to the survey were celebratory. That was me. You were like, that was me over and over and over again. Okay. So this is great. It is Heinz.

What's wrong with people? Somebody said, what the hell is wrong with you, people? That is disgusting. At Jack 9 the 3 knife. Okay. Listen to his username. Take that back. You know what?

Jack 9 the 3 knife. Go f*** your son. Oh, he's not listening out there. Usually, I look out and he's laughing. Guess we were boring. Yeah. Sorry, are we boring you, sir, out there? Oh.

Whatever. Now he's laughing. Hey, come on to the microphone out there. This is happening. I'm calling you out. Aw. What would you say, is your title like the sound technician for me? Engineer.

Engineer. What are your thoughts on Mayo, Chup, Mr. Have you been paying attention to us? Oh, absolutely. Oh, you can't do it. Turn him off. Wait, you can't do it. it? Have you tried it?

Yes. Mute him. What? Yeah, I can't do it. You know what? I will say I appreciate. Actually, actually, I could do me. I could do maochup. I could not do ranch. Oh, that's fine.

Okay, that's fine. We forgive you. Yeah. And you're back in the game. But I will say, you can come to the party. I will say, I do appreciate honesty because I think a lot of people just say that they agree. But thank you for the honest opinion and not just trying to please us.

Very welcome. Yeah. All right. listen up vinos, I want to take a minute to talk about diff eyewear. And these are the three things that sold me on it. Quality, charity, and styles. So talking quality. Diff, charitable eyewear is a disruptive designer eyewear brand focus on doing good. Diff's founder saw a lack of affordable high quality eyewear and set out to change that. So Diff offers the same quality I wear that overpriced luxury brands offer, but at a fraction of the cost. Let's talk charity. The biggest thing

that I love about Diff is that their main focus is doing good in the world. So I've learned that for every pair of sunglasses sold, Diff is actually donating a pair of reading glasses to someone in need around the world through various charity partners, including restoring vision. Diff is also helping empower local artisans and improve education in Arrua, Uganda, through their program, the Sabo Project. The Sabo project employs local women as tailors to hand-make the pouches for sunglasses and all profits made from the pouch program goes back to the Little Angel School in Arrua, Uganda. So finally, style.

There are styles for everyone ranging from the cat eyes to aviators and everything in between. So go to diffiware.com and use code Vine for $25 off your order and help Diff do good in the world. I love that. That's Diff.iware.com code Vine. We'll be back with more off the vine with Caitlin Bristow. New to Podcast 1, it's the Amber Rose Show with Dr. Chris. Join them each Thursday as they take your calls, share their expert advice, and talk all things, sex relationships, and self-empowerment. It's a judgment-free show, and we want you to be a part of the conversation.

So don't miss a second of it and check out the Amber Rose show with Dr. Chris at Podcast 1 and Apple Podcasts. Also remember to rate and review. And since it's the Summer of Lovin, in honor of the Bachelorette finale this week, you may also want to check out Dr. and Mrs. Guinea Pig with Heather and Terry DeBrow, exclusively on Podcast 1. Now back to Off the Vine with Caitlin Bristow. What are your other favorite 90s things? Like I've seen. I'm written down here. I'm like mood rings. Remember those? I didn't, I like had one, but I don't know if I like ever really thought they worked. My boyfriend in, I don't remember how old

I was like maybe in my 20s, he bought me a mood ring for my birthday. And I was like, what do you want to monitor my moods? And then people are like, hey, that could help. If they work. And people said, what did you find out? And I said, well, when it's blue, I'm happy. And when it's red, it leaves a big and red mark on his forehead. That was a joke. That was a joke. Ayo! Hey, I'm here all day. Yeah.

Don't forget to tip your sound engineer on the way out. Okay, what else? Oh, gosh. Well, roller skates, you really brought that back for me in your video. Yes. Big fan of roller skates. What else? A set tapes.

Okay, you want to know a story? Yeah. I was in a dance competition once and I had a jazz solo and I got out on stage and I started in this pose, like, down on the ground. And it was Brittany speaking. years. I love rock and roll. And I was in a pink onesie, like shiny, rhinestoney outfit. Mm-hmm. Working it. Work in it. Yeah. Like W.E. R.K. Yeah. Working it. And I all of a sudden, my mom always told me because my mom was a professional ballerina and she was a dancer and she was a dance. She's like a dance. Yes. And she said, if the music ever stops, you just keep going. Five, six, seven. And one, two, three. And she drilled in my head to keep going. And so I was like, okay. So my music stopped.

Oh. And I looked. up and it was the beginning of my dance. It wasn't like I was two minutes in and only had 30 seconds left. I looked up and the guy pulled out the cassette tape because that's how old I am that when I was doing this. And I was like 16. He pulled out my cassette tape and all the tape was everywhere. That was the worst. And I was like, and you always have to have a backup tape for dance competitions. And so I was like, do I keep going? And there's my mom in the front row. Five, six, seven, and one, two, three. And I was like, okay. Like still going. But then they made me stop it. No music. Yeah. And she said that's what you do. Do a video of that? I wish I did.

Maybe I do somewhere. Okay. But it would probably be VHS and who really has a VCR anymore. Is that what is it even called? Yeah. Please be kind. Rewind. So what? Oh yeah. Okay. I saw something like yesterday. The blockbuster, it's like one left in the world. There's one blockbuster left in the world. And he refuses to close it. Which I mad respect, but that guy must be in so much debt. Oh yeah. He probably is. Because no one comes. One blockbuster left. Funny tape about, or funny story about VHS's. Yeah. So me and my brothers both had, it was kind of like a VHS dedicated to the first like five years of your life. However, you know, it's like when you're born, like growing up. It's like a baby book, but on VHS. Exactly.

We each had one. Well, one day, my brother decides he wants to record wrestling. Recorded over everything. Yes. You're like, oh, Blair's taking her first steps this week on WWE Smackdown. I was so, I was like, cool. there goes my life there's gone yeah gone i know forever it's actually love yeah i've thought about this wait is your brother single because my girlfriend as i was doing my deep creeping said she she was like

ask her if her brother single oh so that's parker he is single he is he's ready how old is he bad sister right here 27 oh perfect she's 28 oh wow am i just Blair is happening and then Parker and what's your friend's name Bailey they they Wow. That's great. Parker and Bailey. It's happening. They can, oh, they can, like, be on an episode of Blaret. Like, oh, they could, the guys will have to talk to them. Mm-hmm.

And they will have to say that if they can go through to get to you. Yeah. Oh, this is all happening. I know. My other brother's getting married at the end of September. Okay. Yeah. He's taken.

Well, that's exciting. Parker is single. Parker. And he's the one that was on my story. Well, there to go. I know. He sent that to me. I was dying.

He's the one that put hashtag celebrity status and him and his friend are, like, dancing. And I was like, this is. Incredible. Thank you for being my number one and only fan. That's so sweet. Is he here in Nashville? No, he lives in Savannah, Georgia. Georgia, okay. But he wants, I think he wants to move back to Atlanta. Okay. Well, she's Canadian. Okay. But my cousin actually lived in Canada for the past couple years. Where? Montreal. Oh, yeah, yeah. But they just, they actually just crossed the border and came back. Really? Like two days ago. Mm-hmm. I said he back. Yeah, they're getting married as well. Everyone's getting married. I'm not. Yeah. Me neither.

Well, you know what? You're young still. I, yes. Hey, you are, too. You're right. 33. It is young. It is. I agree with you.

I just think it's funny. I mean, I would date Brett Lerger's. He's like 33. Would you? I think so. I'm just as I've never met him, but I haven't either. Well, actually, at an award show once, he said, you're doing great. Keep it up.

And he was really drunk. And I was like, thank you. And you're like, he wants me. Yeah, I was like, I love you too. This is my thing. Okay. So I was talking to a girl that works. at like e-news and she said that when you interview guys or when guys that are like have any

status speak to you and look at you in the eye you automatically think that they want you and she goes I got really uncomfortable like Leonardo decaprio like wanted me she was like we were doing an interview and he she's like we just made eye contact the whole time and he like you know I'm like maybe he was just a good guy like and she was like no I really felt something so now I'm like damn it so many girls out there probably think Sean wants them because he's such a nice He makes eye contact. He listens, not to me, but to others. But, like, in interviews, he's very, like, into it.

And so I'm like, man, all these girls interviewing him are probably like, oh, poor Caitlin. Oh, yeah. He doesn't really love her. He wants me. If they think Leonardo DiCaprio is into them, like, I can only imagine what they think Sean B is doing. Yeah, no.

Brett Eldridge did not want me. He was just wasted. I had a walkie-talkie on. That's why I said, like, do you? That's why I was like, do you? Because I think he's wasted in money. I think he's like a party guy Party boy I can tame him

A party okay okay I accept the challenge Is that the You know how some girls have a type And they like want a bad boy And they just want to change him Is that you Like one out of 10

It's like yeah Like I'm but no I like if the bad guy's into me I'm like maybe I can change him But then I'm like no I want a good guy Who like is a Christian And all these things

It has to make me laugh That's the biggest thing If he's not funny by walk out the door yeah I'm totally with you on that one exactly that's people always said on our season that they're like Sean's just so serious I'm like yeah because you didn't see him 90% of the time he's hilarious yeah um I actually I so I was on like a trip like for the whole summer it's like a mission kind of trip with my um like the ministry I was part of in college so I didn't get to see your season oh no way because we didn't have cable and like two months ago I it was like

right after our award show so it was like kind of slower at work. And I was like, I need a new show to watch. So you watched. And I was like, I was like, I never watched Caitlin season. And oh my gosh. Okay, so your Rick videos. That was like why I fell in love with you. I was like, oh, my gosh. This is, yeah. The best thing ever. Yeah. So then I was like, maybe I'll watch her season. And the only way to watch it was like you had to buy it on Amazon. And I was like, gosh, how much? No shame. And I was like 16 bucks. Oh. But I did it. So I like just watched her season actually. How did you feel? It was great. Yeah. It was actually. It was actually.

kind of fun watching it now because like every time you said something about Sean I was like how sweet I know like the fact that we both said love at first sight like watching even watching that back for me I was like oh my God yeah like he got a limo and you're like Sean B and I'm like yeah girl that's your fiance I know what's coming but I always think I would want to watch it back I like watching like YouTube clips of us back and like you know there's a good part yeah and there's some crazy fans I mean crazy in a good way that put together like romantic videos of the two of us and it's like there's like romantic music that plays and I like kind of get teary-eyed and emotional watching it and it's sweet it's so crazy I will say this is like

you're you're about to be part of a podcast that I can't believe I'm going to admit this on but I'm not wearing yeah I'm not wearing my ring anymore and people have been calling me I did I will sometimes and like but I people have been calling me out see look and I'm not because people are like oh there are trouble in paradise and blah blah blah and I'm like have we ever been like traditional no and I since the beginning and I don't want people to put pressure on Sean now because we both are on the same page

and we both want to be ready so I'm like we always planned to take off the ring and put it back in a box and that when he so he can propose again that's so sweet yeah so we've been wanting to do that since the show like I remember talking about it the night we got engaged he was like I obviously

want to do that the right way I don't want to do it when you're like had just dumped another guy five seconds before me when you knew it was coming with like everything so okay so um I don't want to know when it's happening so you took the ring off so you might be getting it back soon yeah I feel like this one of those conversations like oh my gosh you might get engaged I know so now I feel like it's really exciting again like I'm like I can't wait because I'm going to be surprised this time because he didn't he didn't want me to expect it he wanted and I'm the same way I'm like I never thought of myself getting engaged where I knew it was coming yeah and so now I'm like I'm like oh my gosh like giddy

that's so exciting so for everybody out there wondering why that's why yeah they didn't break up yeah no we're still going strong come on people that's man i can't wait and then you can like post a real proposal picture and then i can actually plan a wedding because when we really do decide to do that and get engaged again like when it that's when we're going to start because that's the whole point so to us it's like he's going to get down on one knee again he's going to propose him fun but by telling people this i don't want anyone to put pressure on him because that makes sense you know i just don't want him to feel any pressure because I'm not in a rush. Clearly, I'm not in a rush. Like, if I was like that girl,

I'd be like, hello. Hey, so we've been together three years. Hey, I picked out our venue. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. I haven't done any of that. So we're both on the same page. But, okay, one second, as the weather continues heating up, gosh, it's hot. You want to be as comfortable as possible down below. But that's hard to do if you're still wearing traditional cotton underwear. So instead, why don't you outsmart the heat and the humidity with men's and women's cool cotton underwear from Tommy John, the revolutionary clothing brand that's redefined comfort. Cool cotton isn't like ordinary cotton. Nope, it's made with moisture wicking technology, so it dries four to five times faster than regular cotton, keeping you two to three times cooler. Like all Tommy John underwear, cool cotton is guaranteed to never ride up,

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At the end of the day, there's regular underwear and there's Tommy John. No adjustment needed. Hurry to Tommyjohn.com slash fine for 20% off your first order. That's Tommyjohn.com slash fine for 20% off. Anyways, I'm like still on this blockbuster thing because it's. It's in Alaska. Oh, yeah, forgot about that. It says Alaska.

Oh. But, hey, that's okay. Oh, no, Bend, Oregon. Oh. The final blockbuster storefront standing is located in Ben, Oregon. It outlasted two stores in Alaska. Yeah, he refuses. That's so funny.

I wonder if people go, like, just to support him now. I would. You know? I would. I would, too. Because now there's, like, movies from the 90s that I'm like, gosh, I'd love to watch that. But you can't. Totally.

Like, do you remember the movie now and then? I don't know. I don't know if it was, like, real popular, but it's one of my favorite movies. My sister loves it, too, and it's from, let's Google. Yeah, what was it about? So much. Now and one of my favorite movies that I, oh, wait, we were talking about things from the 90s. Oh, yeah.

You know what my ultimate thing that I loved? What? I had this butterfly blowup chair. Oh, the blowup furniture was everything. It was like the one thing I wanted for Christmas was this butterfly blowup chair. Yep. Oh, and I was a weird, I mean, I still am weird, but I was a weird child. I asked for a can of black olives from Santa Claus.

Stop it. And I was so sad because I didn't think I got them. And they had rolled under the chair. My parents are like, no, I'm sure there's, I'm sure he brought them. And they're like, oh, here they are. And I was like, yes, black olives. Thanks, Mom. Thanks, Santa.

I know. You are slowly but surely becoming my new favorite person. I think it was the same year I got the butterfly blowup chair. And it was a purple and blue. That's how to make me happy. Yeah. Wow. So contestants of Blaret.

But just bring me some black olives on the first date. You know what? And somebody will. Yeah, someone will. And then you know he's going to go far. Yeah. So this is a side note. We can talk about your movie and then we'll go back to this.

No, no, no. Tell me now. I'm still. Still Googling. Yeah. So last year. Yeah. When everyone thought Peter was going to be The Bachelor at, yeah.

All my friends were like, Blair, you have to go on the show. Like, you'd be perfect for it. And I was like, I don't know if I can because I, like, was a PA. Even though I don't really know much, I don't know if I'm allowed to. Right. But they were like, you should do it. So naturally, what did I do? I was like, well, in case I decide to apply, let me write a wrap.

Yeah, I have it. Please wrap it for me. Oh, you want me to? Yes. I have it on my phone. I also, you told me when you came in here, first of all, the movie was from 1995, and it had Christina Ricci and Rosie O'Donnell and Devin Sawa. Yeah.

Let's watch it. Okay. I'm so into it. But that's what I'm saying. I'm like, I can't find it anywhere online or anything. Really? Can you buy it on like maybe eBay? Oh, Amazon.

I feel like I'm sure. I've looked at like eBay for like old Mary Kane naturally movies. They have them. Okay, that's a good idea. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, wait. So let me just say you are here today because of your video about scrunchies and being

in the scrunchy gang. Yeah. Yesterday in your Instagram story, you said the leader. I was like, oh, wow. Well, I mean, I'm the, I're the leader. I'm like the CEO. Okay. And you're like the vice president.

Okay. I can do that. 6040 6040 We'll talk Okay We'll negotiate a contract later 982

991 Okay We'll talk later 99.9.90 0.01 That's fine I get a bottle of mayo chup every year for my

That's exactly right And I don't have to pay for it So really I'm making profit here Yeah No I'm not That was stupid Okay You said

in case I asked you to perform you made an instrumental version of the rap song. That was part of the process. I had to make an instrumental so that I could record my vocals over. I mean, you are so Nashville. You're like a singer-songwriter. You're like I'm not at all. You're like the songbird of our generation. I can write things, but I can't sing things. Okay, it's amazing, but I need you to perform.

Okay. My scrunchy gang video. I thought you were going to be like shy maybe and I was like, am I going to have to get her drunk? How am I going to get her to perform this video again? Do it, do it, do it. Willingly. Yeah, you can join me.

Okay. That part's my jam. Okay, you can do that, and then I'm sure you can pick up on Scrunch. Get off the vibe with it. Uh-huh. Yeah, okay. All right. Oh, my God.

We can start out with some wine until we're feeling fine. Talk about all the. The things that come to our mind on the mic is Caitlin. Hey, Blair, scrunchy's in our hair. Because you know how we do it, do it, do it, do it. Dancing, it's skating, go on a date, and it's shining it. You can't even off the vine when they do it, do it, do it, do it. Go on it way it, scrunchy, do it, do it.

Do it, do it. Hey. Scrunchy gang. Scrunchy gang. Scrunchy gang. Scrunchy gang. Scrunchy gang. Scrunchy gang.

Scrunchy gang. Scrunchy gang. Scrunchy gang. Scrunchy gang. Scunchy gang. There it is. I'll be here all night, ladies and gentlemen. Oh my freaking.

I know. I mean, I'm almost like a fan of you. Like this is just. I'm just like, thanks. Hey, this is the start of my career. I really feel like this is the start of something beautiful, a friendship, a business, a relationship for you and whoever your final man standing is. My life started today. We're doing fantasy sweets.

Oh. But it's going to be this. I have to be there. And it's you talking the whole time with me just in a corner like creeping. So no getting naked. Okay. Just strictly talking, but I won't have my Instagram story on. Okay.

Yeah. So it's just you're just there. It's just a supervised, a supervised fantasy sweet date. Where is that going to be? TBD. Yeah, TBD. We'll figure it out. I'm going to have to come up with something really romantic.

Okay. Like I might even fly you and your final two somewhere tropical and make this real serious. I would be down. What is this I hear that you're obsessed with like ice cream and karaoke? Oh. well why wouldn't you be i don't like ice cream oh my gosh bye i know that see i what was my yeah what was my downfall um you haven't seen stepbrothers oh yeah that's just as important that's just as important so we're even well what's your favorite dessert um i love chocolate i love key lime pie

i love worther's originals and licorish all sorts wait werthers that's the butterscotch right i'm so old okay no one of our security guys at work yeah comes around and gives you butterscotch and I'm like thank you he's so sweet I know and like sometimes he'll like kind of I'll hear him and I know he's gonna pass without giving you one I'm like hey can I get one hook me up with that we're there

I'm like give me one of them oh he sounds right up my alley yeah I don't know what my problem is I like halo top that's good some of it like halo top like they had an oatmeal cookie that really I like oh yeah that one was good I like any and all ice cream I don't discriminate I don't know what my problem is it like kind of weirds me out that I'm just scooping cream eating it. I don't know. Find enjoyment in that. Okay. And then karaoke. Yeah. Have you been all about

Kara's pub or whatever that place? I haven't. Yeah, can we go? Sure. I, um, yeah, I've never, no, I lied. We shot. I lied. Oh, I have, I went for like work. Like, they were shooting something there. Yeah. But I did sing a karaoke, but it was just like for people at work. So, like, it doesn't really count. Oh, did you sing your scrunchy gang song? No, this was a while ago. We sang Redneck Woman. Why do I not know it? Redneck Woman. I'm a Redneck. I'm a Redneck. Nick moment I know You know it Yeah

You know what my go-to karaoke song I was just gonna ask you that Really it's what I want My go-to song to be Is pour some sugar on me Oh great song Yeah

I think I could really I just feel like I should wear leather And then go on a stage and just Go to town Yeah absolutely You really should I know Let's do it

I have some would you rather questions for you Oh I'm ready Would you rather eat shit that taste like chocolate or eat chocolate that tastes like Oh, yeah Probably I might go with eat shit that tastes like chocolate

I mean If it tastes good right Well, but then you're But then you're eating You are Maybe I'll eat the chocolate How big is it? Just a little piece

Okay, I'll do that one Yeah, I'm with you I'm with you Would you rather experience The beginning of planet Earth Or the end of planet Earth The end Really?

I think so Ooh, beginning for me Every time I answer it And then I just second guess myself. I know. That's because I'm disagreeing with you. But that's, I'm like, the end of earth would be terrifying. But it'd be kind of interesting to see.

But then you're gone. I would rather see the beginning because I'm like, ooh, no social media. No phones. You're just bucky naked, just walking around with all the confidence in the world. No clue what expectations are. What like you're not comparing yourself to anyone. You're just living like life for the first time. Yeah.

You're just like, what is life? That's, yeah. You got me there. Okay. I, you want to know the? Yes. It's a little inappropriate. Please.

Please continue. Somebody asked me this, would you rather recently? And it's the heart. Well, oh, is it something about your parents? Yes. Wait. Would you rather have, watch your parents have sex a hundred times or join them once? Yeah.

Oh, my gosh. It's so disturbing. A hundred times. I'd be like, yay, mom and dad are being together. I'd keep going. I would hate. either well yeah but i guess you'd get numb to it and you'd be like here we go the point of would you rather you're supposed to like be able to like not yeah be able to choose that's true i'm trying

to find another one okay would you rather reverse one decision you make every day or be able to stop time for 10 seconds every day wait say that one again would you rather reverse one decision that you make every day so every day you can reverse one thing like change or like not do it yeah okay or be able to stop time for 10 seconds every day why would you want to stop time though for 10 seconds yeah that'd be kind of pointless like you're running on the treadmill and you're like I need a break yeah I don't I think I'd rather do the first one yeah that was kind of steep but then also like I wouldn't want to change something every day because then you need you need to make mistakes you're right and then it would change the

whole outcome of your life yeah so maybe I would rather take the other one 10 seconds we just got deep we did could you I'm gonna take pause for 10 seconds yeah so like you're in a big like meeting and you're just like pause And you just like let out a fart And then you're like back to life And then you're like Yeah what just happened Yeah

That's exactly right Well this I'm talking about poops and farts a lot I've discovered welcome to off the vine Yeah Would you I like this question Would you rather win $50,000 Or let your best friend win $500,000 Let my best friend win $500,000

Because then I'd be like hey I did that You're right Give me I read them and then I would like talk through it and I'm like oh yeah yeah would you rather continue with your life or restart it and have control oh continue yeah me too I love my life it's great ah what a life we live I'm right there with you I like that I wouldn't want to restart it either no uh because who knows how it would turn out that's true you could be I mean if you're in control I don't know I feel like everything happens for

reason you're right you got a plan if I'm controlling it who that's true knows where I'm going Bruce Almighty situation. Yeah, exactly. We all know how that worked out for him. Would you rather have free Wi-Fi wherever you go or free coffee whenever you want? I don't really drink coffee. I know. It's right free.

Okay. If you said ice cream, free Wi-Fi or free ice cream. You'd take ice cream. I would take free coffee. I love coffee and I feel like I get free Wi-Fi because I'm with T-Mobile and I have unlimited data. Do you call it data or data? Oh, gosh.

I'm out of data. I'm out of data. Data. Data. Yeah, I say data. Okay. Would you rather know how you will die or when you will die? I think I'd rather know when.

Yeah, I think so. Yeah, that's a tough one. I think so, too, because if it said like car accident, I'd just like stop living my life and never get in a car. But if you knew when, it's kind of like the song Live Like you're dying. Like, you would just, you'd be like, okay, I've got this many years. I'm going to live it up. You wouldn't be scared to do anything too. So if you had an envelope in front of you right now that said the day you were going to die, would you open it?

I don't know. That's one of those things where it's like I would want to. Yeah. But then it's like, but should you? Yeah. Because what if it said tomorrow? That would be really sad. It would be what if it said today?

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Oh, my bachelor. Yeah. Yeah. I ended up not auditioning. But if you do. It was still written. Yeah, it's pretty good. I have a 90s rap that I'm going to end with, so I want to hear yours.

So it's like a rap battle. Yeah. Okay, okay. It's a rap battle. Well, I don't really have a beat, so it's going to be more like. Here, I can get you on. Oh, but. What if it's not to the right beat?

Well, let's see if it is. I'll just say it. Okay. Okay. I think, I actually think I wrote it to the Fresh Prince of Bel Air theme song. Do you want me to go, do-ch-d-do-d-d-d-d-d-tun- Sure. Okay, ready? Okay.

Now, this was, yeah, so this was my going to be auditioned to be on The Bachelor. I need to know how much, like, breathing I need to concentrate on. Is this long? No. Okay. It's like three verses. Okay, ready? It's like 12 minutes. Ready? Okay.

Okay. Now this is a story about my life, how I want to fall in love and be somebody's wife. I'd like to take a minute, just sit right there. I'll tell you all about me, fresh Princess Balear. Well, I live in Nashville, but I want to see the world. I'm a dream chasing joke, making kind of a girl. I'm always a blast. I'm the life of the party.

Most girls are Priuses, but I'm a Ferrari. I'm always down for fun, name the time and the place, and there's not an adventure that I'm too scared to face. I really love my life, but there's something that I want. A good man I can love, show the world and flunt. I've been waiting on my life for the man of my dreams, someone to make me smile, someone to make me be. People call me a romantic and I won't deny

I've got so much love to give I'm just looking for my guy Hold on it's not ever Okay I guess I should mention I've got a purity ring But I can't wait to get freaky Once he gives me the blink I really believe that I can find him on the show

Because everyone knows that love begins with a rose I'm a down to earth fun good girl you'll see And I'm hoping to find love on ABC Yay Wait that's really good Thanks Yeah I know You're like sweet and sassy

I'm like you're like a sassy I'm the perfect blaret, if you ask me. You really are. You're like the next Emily Maynard. She was like... Yes, I remember her. That was the first season I watched because my like trainer from back home was on it. And I was like, I'll watch this.

And then I got hooked and I was like, oh, my gosh. That was a good season. That was a really good season. Probably my favorite season, actually. Yeah, that was good. Oh, man. Okay, you want to hear mine? Duh.

So wait, what did you say this with? So mine's about growing up in the 90s. Oh, okay. So it's about like umbrough, like tear away pants and hacking. and hacky sacks and like remember devil sticks do you remember those i remember devil's what maybe maybe it was a canadian thing it's like you yeah you have two sticks and you have to like try and like balance another stick and like toss it around devil six yeah we had one of those okay i also had like a was that a 90s thing or just a thing at my house yeah maybe that's just an

instrument it's just an instrument uh that would be an instrument remember in the 90s whenever i'm playing the accordion maybe that was a thing I don't know I don't know I just was thinking about my 90, like our closet back in the 90s. And there's one of those in there. That was in there, so. Okay, right. I don't know if I ever done this on, um, on, uh, a podcast before. Okay, ready?

Well, here you go. Do you need a beat? Nope. No, instrumental. Or not instrumental. I'll just smack my leg. Okay. Hey, in the 90s, I was making mixed tapes while trading my green grapes for snack packs

and PBJs and my PJs by eight, which was still just maybe too late for a kid in grade, K1, two, and three and four walking out my front door with my Barbie lunchbox with my pock brocks ready for my day with no fancy computers just white chocks and chicken pox cramped my skis along with the grass stains on my knees and scary bumblebees yeah but those were the days oh yeah reminisce red rover i called them over my first kiss and recess i really do miss dissing dicks playing devil sticks and hacky sacks filled up on ninja turtle backpacks michelangelo and umbro terra ways elementary days get out my way kid hey yes so like we're going to collaborate or something are this is just like

You know when people say things happen for a reason? Yep. You moved to Nashville and made a scrunchy video for a reason. You were born for a reason, and it was to be the blarrette. It was to make a video about scrunchies. That too. Or that. It was both of those things.

Yeah. I want to do. What? I was about to say, do I have to wear a scrunchy like every episode? That could be a thing. Yes. A different do scronchy? A different do.

And it can maybe be on like your wrist one time or in your hair or like an ankle. Inclet, ankle it. Okay. Yep. Every episode. And you have to talk about it. You have to throw in a shameless plug somehow every time. Yeah.

And I'll say, every time I say do, I'll like look at the camera and wink. Yeah. And that'll be the theme song to open the blaret. And I'm obviously Chris Harrison. Oh, duh. That would just be rude if I wasn't. Yeah. No.

You are definitely the Chris Harrison. Like, I don't think you understand. I'm going home to brainstorm and write down all of my ideas. Okay. And Bailey, who is going to date your brother. Oh, yeah. My future sister-in-law. Yes, she's really good at this kind of stuff.

Okay. And she's going to help me. And we're going to, this is going to come to life. Okay. I mean, we could just write another rap and the theme song. Yeah, you're right. And then do like a duet. It needs to be a duet.

A duet. Gosh. Oh, my gosh. The puns just don't stop. They're flowing. Wow. They're flowing like the wine. They're flowing like the wine and our, our lines.

And our, what's the word I'm looking for? Rimes. Yeah. Yeah. They flow. We are so gangster. Oh, M.G.

Did you do something with your hair? Love it. We are super gangster. Yeah, not at all. Okay, I would just like to say that this was meant to happen today. And I thank you for being on this podcast. Hey. Thank you for having me.

And for being a great guest. Thank you for being a great host. You're welcome. You're so welcome. Wait. You know what we have to do right the second. Well, I mean, I'll do it after. I'll do it after because by the time this airs, we'll have it.

We're starting an Instagram page for Blarette. Okay. Blare at. Okay. Everybody help us out with coming up with an official hashtag. Send us submissions for guys. The Blaret. The Blaret.

Yeah, the Blaret. Send in guys submissions to, like, make the videos and tag us on Instagram, do whatever you got to do. We'll be picking 10. and hopefully there's one guy standing at the end. Yeah. Yeah. I really want to, like, email the guy that I, like, want to be on it.

Oh. He doesn't know I exist, so it's fine. He knows I exist. Who is he in Nashville? No. Where is he? He's in Atlanta. I've just had a crush on him since, like, high school.

Would I know who he is? No, not at all. Oh, okay. Well, we'll say it. Put it out there. That's a real big confession. Okay, don't. Okay.

Do you want to? he'll be like wow you have no idea who i am and i'll be like yeah yep maybe i mean he knows who i am but like not really you tell me off air okay and then he'll be the guy that shows up halfway through yeah he'll be the yeah can we say neck yeah yeah he'll be the nick yeah he'll be yeah and that's what's gonna happen okay but i've earned a like him yeah of course perfect yeah okay because that's gonna be your guy yeah this is why this is happening this is happening well he'll be at my friend's wedding and after okay i'm like giving it away wow He'll be at your friend's wedding in October.

We can edit it. Where's the wedding? Where's the wedding? In Atlanta. Or in North Georgia. Can I come? Mm-hmm. Okay.

You can be my date. I'm being a date. Hey, Kayla, I need a plus one to your wedding. Hook me up and I'll take the salmon. Yeah. I just assumed she had salmon. Yeah. Probably.

I don't know. We will get salmon for you. I feel like you have a joke. Do you have a joke for me? Oh, you do? This is my go-to. Okay. Tell me.

Alexa, actually told me. Like, like, hey Alexa. Like, hey Alexa. Yeah. Okay. Okay. So maybe you've heard it. I hope you haven't. Maybe. What? It's like a two-part joke. Okay. What do you call a dinosaur fart? What? A blast from the past.

Great. Thanks. Okay. I'm like two parts. I'm waiting. Do you want to hear, it's kind of funnier when she says it? But then you say, Alexa, tell me another fart joke. And she says, I would tell you another fart joke, but I'm afraid it might stink. And you're like, Alexa. Alexa's so funny. She is funny. She really is. You should have a lexon on the podcast. Wait, that's...

Would that work? That's actually kind of a great idea. But she beatboxes for me sometimes. Oh. I wonder if Siri does that. Hey, Siri, can you beatbox for me? He's when I've been practicing boots and cats and boots and cats and cats and cats and cats. That's a good one.

That's good. Do you have a joke? Oh, he's still going. Wow. Okay. That's enough. Do you have a joke? Yes.

Okay. Why couldn't the lifeguard save this? hippie. Why? Because he is too far out, dude. It's all about the delivery on that one. That was good. Yeah, thanks. Okay, I have one more joke. Okay. Knock knock. Who's there?

Brittany Spears. Brittany Spears, who? Knock, knock. Who's there? Oops, I did it again. Yes. 90s. I should have started with that one. You know what? It's kind of a 90s. It's okay. It's, oh, Britney. Britney. Britney batch.

She's not just 90s. She's 2000s as well. She's 2000 now. She's 2000 always. Yeah. Thank you for being on the pod. Hey, tell me again your Instagram name so people can start following your journey. Oh.

People need to be there for the right reasons that I swear to God if you get any bullying. Oh. I will make a new YouTube. I can take it, but I will, not YouTube. I will make a new series catfishing trolls. Perfect. That'll be great. But yeah.

At Fresh Prince of Bel-L-L-A-R-E. Amazing. Because I'm cool like that. Yes. is. I can vouch for her on that one. I'm Caitlin Bristow. I'll see you next Tuesday. Thanks for listening to Off the Vine with Caitlin Briscoe. Get new episodes every Tuesday exclusively on Podcast 1.com, the Podcast One app and subscribe on Apple Podcasts. Who's not with OTV? Sponsors for this week's Off the Vine are Wells Fargo. See what's new at

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