Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Olivia Caridi

Episode Date: February 18, 2021

Kaitlyn has Olivia on the show this week to discuss her move to NYC and what she's been up to before speaking about the challenges and controversies around Bachelor Nation, and what we all can do to be better allies.  GEICO - Go to geico.com , and in fifteen minutes you could be saving 15% or more on car insurance LITERATI - Head to Literati.com/VINE for 25% off your first two orders PURELY ELIZABETH - Get 25% off your first order on all Purely Elizabeth products by using code: VINE at checkout on purelyelizabeth.com   RITUAL - Visit Ritual.com/VINE to get 10% off during your first three months.     SPRINGTIME SUPPLEMENTS - Save up to 55% with free shipping on your first order with code VINE when you visit Springtime.com See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Okay, listen up if you love a good slow burn romance, and let's be real, who doesn't? You need to check out the new Audible Original of Pride and Prejudice. It's an intimate performance that literally makes you feel like you're right there swooning with Lizzie Bennett and Mr. Darcy. Marisa Abella as Elizabeth and Harris Dickinson as Darcy, I'm obsessed. So whether it is your first time with Jane Austen or your 50th, this version is such a fresh, fun listen. Go to audible.ca slash Jane Austen to dive in. This week's grape therapy is sponsored by Geico. Go to Geico.com and in 15 minutes, you could be saving 15% or more on car insurance.

Extra money in your pocket. It just may be the most rewarding to do you do today. Litterati, gift subscriptions are available for 1, 3, 6, or 12 months of books. It's a great way to keep the holiday magic going through 2021, whether you're gifting a niece, a grandson, a friend's child, or your own. go to literati.com slash vine for 25% off your first two orders and pick your kids book club today. Purely Elizabeth, get 25% off your first order on all purely Elizabeth products by using code Vine at checkout on purely Elizabeth.com. Straight Talk Wireless. With Straight Talk Wireless, you can get a Samsung Galaxy A-51 for just $199. Plus get the $45 unlimited talk text and data plan with no contract on America's best networks for up to 50% less. Tune out the nonsense and tune in to straight talk wireless.

Straight talk wireless, no contract, no compromise. Ritual vitamins, better health doesn't happen overnight. And right now, ritual is offering my listeners 10% off during your first three months. Fill in the gaps in your diet with essential for women a small step that helps support a healthy foundation for you and your body. And springtime supplements. Go to springtime.com to get free shipping on your first order and learn how you can save up to 55%. Podcast listeners will receive free shipping on their first order with code Vine when you visit springtime.com. Hey, do you own or rent your own home?

I'm sure you do, and I bet it can be hard work. But you know what's easy? Bundling policies with GEICO. GEICO makes it easy to bundle your homeowners or renter's insurance along with your auto policy, which is a good thing because you already have so much to do around your home. Go to GEICO.com, get a quote, and see how much you could save. It's GEICO easy. Visit guyco.com today.

That's guyco.com. Presents Off the Vine, Grape Therapy. Caitlin Bristow is going to answer your questions. Drink to your confessions and hear what you have to say about anything Bachelor. Let's shake it up some more. Here's Caitlin. Welcome to Great Therapy. I'm your host, Caitlin Bristow.

What a week it has been. I know a lot of us have felt uncomfortable and anxious about everything going on in Bachelor world right now. I speak with my good friend, who you all know, Olivia, on this grape therapy. And, you know, we couldn't bring ourselves to have a regular bachelor recap with everything that's been going on in the franchise. So I listen to this podcast with Olivia after recording it because I really want to make sure that we get the point of the conversation right. And to be honest, I don't know if we did. I don't know if we didn't.

But what I believe is that we need to keep having the conversations. We need to keep holding each other accountable so that we can together be a part of the real change, the change that's needed. This is only one part of how, you know, I want to show support to the BIPOC community, and I'm happy to use my platform to do so. In retrospect, I believe moments like the ones that happened with Rachel and Chris are the moments that challenge those who are willing to listen and to kind of learn and reflect on how we can all be better individually as a community, as a franchise, in all of the ways. So I hope you enjoy this podcast with Olivia. Okay. back with wine that's what was missing i mean i don't think i've ever recorded with you when we're not like borderline wasted you're right i was running behind i just ran into this room without my wine

well relapse i've got all the time i wanted to like talk a little bit because you're such an ally and you're just so good about speaking up for the right things no matter like you've been so honest about the franchise and how like it hurt your mental health how you know it's you stand like on your own kind of against the franchise and a lot of people are scared to do that but you you aren't and I wanted to know like what you obviously think about the Chris Harrison thing because for myself personally it was so hard because he has been such a dear friend and it was hard for me to hear the way he was speaking and how he was speaking and how he was not listening and all these things and it was so hard one of the hardest things I had to do was

message him and hold him accountable because I was like, yo, that was really tough to watch. It was just weird how like he was, he was like passionate. Like, you could tell this is the stuff he talks about like at his table with his like, I don't know if he just didn't forgot that it was being taped and like the world was going to see it or if he thinks everyone like thinks the way that he does. But yeah, it's been hard for me because like I didn't have that relationship with Chris. Like overall, I didn't have, all I have of Chris is like sitting across from him at Women's Hell All, telling my horrible story and like crying and looking at him and knowing that it was all fake. Literally just like, mm-hmm. Yeah. And then he's like cut and it's on to the next thing.

Right. And that's all I know of him. Yeah. And so for me, it's not all that surprising. And I've, you know, I haven't said any of that. But like, yeah, it's alarming to see someone just like spew bullshit and it was alarming. Alarming is a really great word to use because and maybe this is part of my own ignorance but I've never seen him in that light and and again that that might be ignorant on my part but that was really eye-opening to me because before I mean I I barely even saw the backlash when it had happened I was like this is bad that made me uncomfortable I did not like the way he was treating Rachel the things he was saying I was like what the hell is he doing like I was almost like angry like okay I was like what the fuck are you doing and who are you and

what did you do with Chris and when the show first started just having a man dating all these revolutionary right and so they're like at people move on people get over it and they've been dealing with backlash of racism for a long time that's the other thing that really frustrated me with Chris is he tries to say about 2018 like that lens was fully there for you you guys have been called out for how many years on also like i'm supposed to believe that you didn't know lee on rachel season was racist like you cast a racist on your first black lead season and i believe it was for a reason unfortunately i agree with that and that's like you try and say that's when it started like people might say that's when it started no it's that show has been dealing with that for

probably as long as it's been around um it's just now you know that it's not that it's not even through a different lens. It's that people are starting to hold others accountable. And I am very impressed with the people that have spoke out in our franchise. I'm very impressed with the fact that they are holding him accountable. I don't know if stepping aside. What does that mean to you? And he says he's going to step aside. Right. So, so what is, but what does that mean? He's just not going to do the final rows and then they'll jump back to business as usual. Do you think that's what'll happen. I think what they're hoping is that he'll he won't do women or whatever the after the final rose and then enough time will pass and people will forget about it because I really believe that

that's been their attitude for a long time. It's like the next thing will happen. People will get over it. Like the talk of cleaning house like start at the top, clean house and and then but then would there even be a show like will people support it anymore? I'm I just wonder what this really means for the whole show. I think you make, if, if she's willing, you make Rachel an EP. Yeah. Right. Like she's got to, she's got to be up in there. Yep. You know, yeah, even though the host is not, I mean, would she be great as a host? Yeah. But like, I think she needs to be involved in like the makings. Well, I'm pretty sure Chris Harrison has a role as a producer, executive producer. I feel the same way. I feel like Rachel, but, but then, then it's the conversation of does she even want to be associated with

that? From what I gather, um, on my Facebook group, I guess she did like an AMA or whatever it's called on Reddit and it was very much talking about how, um, someone had said that she said that her like contract is up with the podcast or whatever and that she was like ready to kind of step away. Yeah. And for me, that was telling in terms of just like maybe, maybe it's just time to like, Yeah. I mean, how incredible to have Rachel have a voice and make a difference on CNN now for everything. You know, that's so great. You know, you hear people have their apologies, quote unquote, or statements or whatever it is. But then you shut the comments off. And to me, that's hiding again and not open to learning or conversation. And I don't know how I feel. I'm even like last. Last night, I was this, I go to bed at freaking nine because I'm old and I wake up and there's this whole Demi controversy. And I literally was like, this happened like overnight. Like what? I don't, she's probably going to say something to me and I don't care because, I mean, it's not like

she's a dear friend or anything. We just know each other. I wanted to just shake her and say, what are you doing? And then she acts like, oh, well, I didn't have PR to. save me and I just don't have people PR not to say anything but I did it anyway and then I'm like okay but none of us have just PR watching every tweet we make like what what world do you think you come from and her talking about her clout and bachelor girls I was like just stop what are you doing was she drunk like I honestly feel like I'm probably going to get a lot of hate for this but I just think in recent seasons and this is not just contestants but also as I said a people up above there's just a little bit too much ego going on right now yeah yeah there's a lot of like

i'm untouchable i'm important and like everyone's important yes but you know you're it's a reality show well and it's like one of the most like historic seasons we're going through this thing with harrison we're holding people accountable we're talking about it and you're tweeting about the show about how much other people being mean to heather and i'm I'm like, oh, girl, like, yes, the girls were mean, but Demi, it was so mean on her season. The bullying that's been going on, as you know, firsthand has been happening for, that's part of the show's, like, um, the format almost. I say it's in the DNA of the show is to post and perpetuate bullying. It starts there.

It continues there. They push it. it keeps cycling through like so that that's why this whole thing of you know there's been a few times where they've acknowledged like i i don't know if it was it was you and i think rachel did the thing where you talked about the horrible things that people have said on online oh i was supposed to do that with her but she did it yeah okay well and it's all just to me performative because it's not going to change it's not going to stop you people are the ones that like how many times when when I was on the show they posted on Facebook like here here's a horrible clip of

Olivia what do you think about this like what do you think people are going to say right and then nobody's monitoring those comments oh yeah that's this is where it really comes to a crossroads for this show where it's like people are starting to stand up for what's right bullying racism you can't get away with it anymore it's really sad that we've gotten to this point it's really sad that all of this is happening when, you know, Matt James is our lead. And I don't know. I, I, I have so much just disappointment overall, right? And, and yeah, I, I do talk about it in my biting hands, probably. But at the end of the day, like, I've solidified the fact that I have a life outside of this. And, you know, I'm not going to go on again. So, I mean, in terms of like,

obviously being an it's not enough to just say you're an ally like yeah i do my darndest every day to to do something to put something into action and it's not even like the show like my high school in hindsight was not okay yeah yeah i went to a school where it was a lot of white kids yeah and i and i didn't you know know how privileged i was and so even like my high school I've gotten involved with, like, the diversity, getting a diversity panel within the high school. Like, I try. And there's always more I can do. And I, every time, admittedly, like, I feel like I'm saying something wrong, right? Like, you want to say the right thing. But to me, it's, it's so much better to just say something and do something than to be the person that says nothing. Yeah. Or, you know, like, I didn't post the black box.

because to me, that didn't seem authentic. Yeah. That would have felt performative to me. It felt like a trend and it didn't really make sense. It was kind of contradicting and I was the same. I didn't post it either. I got a lot of shit for not doing that. But my argument was like, I'm doing stuff behind the scenes that says more than just posting a black box.

And then it's funny that a lot of people that I feel like posted that black box are not, now speaking up and being vocal and yeah am i losing followers out the wazoo like yes but that's okay with me if if people know where i stand like i would rather go out knowing where people knowing that people know where i stand than than nothing at all quick question for you do you ever just sit back and think about the classics you used to love as a kid me personally i used to love watching all those classic rom-coms and always miss the tv shows that i used to watch growing up like, okay, saved by the bell, it seems like we get new classics every single year and one game that has instantly become a new classic for me is Best Fiends. And I've seen

you guys on Twitter. Do you feel the same way? I'm sure you guys are already familiar with Best Fiends. Maybe you're already as obsessed as I am, like I said, some people have been tweeting me about it. But if you're not, news alert, it's time to download. Best Fiends is the top rated mobile puzzle adventure with thousands of levels, lovable characters, and new content that gets added literally all the time. I think you guys know I've been playing this game for a while. And every time I open the app, there's tons of new levels to explore updates to check out. And we all know I'm competitive. So sometimes when I beat a level, I was stuck on for a couple days in Best Fiends.

I like to, you know, ask my friends what level they're on and then rub it in their face because I'm probably winning. Anyways, I really do get the biggest rush. Every time I beat a level I've been working on, best fiends really is boredom's worst nightmare. There are thousands of levels and counting and tons of cute characters to collect. If you never get tired of solving puzzles, then I promise you, you will not be disappointed. Download Best Fiends free today on Apple App Store or Google Play. That's Friends Without the R, Best Fiends. One of my absolute favorite feelings in the world is getting my day off to a great start,

waking up on the right side of the bed. I do a little skincare routine, make a cup of coffee, grab my new favorite granola from Purely Elizabeth, and I'm quickly discovering that morning doesn't have to be the worst with this new routine of mine. I've been trying to find a breakfast that didn't leave me feeling guilty and weighed down in the mornings. So I'm very excited that I now have purely Elizabeth's gluten-free granola

that's lower in sugar and still tastes so incredible. It adds a little crunch to the morning smoothie, yogurt, or just straight from the bag, if I'm being real here. You don't have to feel guilty about the ingredients you're putting into your bod because each flavor of their granola is crafted to include intentional ingredients. So my personal favorite is a chocolate, sea salt, probiotic granola, which gets in your daily dose of probiotics with two servings. They also have a ton of other flavors that I need to try, like maple almond, butter, and honey almond.

There's a long list, and every single one sounds amazing. really has made my mornings that much more enjoyable in my afternoons, too, when I need a little snickety snack, snack. And they have a great offer for my vinos right now. You can get 25% off your first order on all Purely Elizabeth products by using code Vine at checkout when you visit Purelyelizabeth.com. You can thank me later. We're going to talk about the old bods here for a second. We only have one. We deserve to know what we're putting into it and why, especially when it comes to something that we consume every day. And that's why I'm a big, big fan of ritual. And I know that a lot of you lately already are too.

Rituals clean, vegan-friendly multivitamin is formulated with high-quality nutrients informs your body can actually use and you won't find all those other ingredients that you don't want to consume like sugars, GMOs, major allergens, synthetic fillers, and artificial colorants. I've been taking my ritual vitamins for years, years and years now, actually. One might say it's become sort of a ritual for me now. Good one. But really, I know that I don't get everything my body needs from just what I eat.

So no matter how healthy I try and be, it still gives me a serious. peace of mind knowing that I'm doing something good for my body. These vitamins are traceable. You'll always know what nutrients you're taking and where they come from. Plus, they are now available for women, men, and teens. It's also really easy to make ritual part of your daily routine because they're delivered to your door every month with free shipping. Basically, every time you're running low, you don't even have to think about it.

They just show up at your doorstep like that. Easy peasy. Lemon, squeasy. Get key nutrients without the BS. Ritual is offering my listeners 10% off during your first three months. Visit ritual.com slash vine to start your ritual today. Now back to Off the Vine, Grape Therapy. I mean, I think that's part of being an authentic person and unapologetic and being true to yourself is putting, you know, prioritizing and knowing what's important over followers or.

Yeah. And it's so weird that like this episode started right. like I watched last night and honestly painfully like it didn't feel it felt it felt it felt it and honestly halfway through I was watching with my friend we were like should we just turn it off like it just we weren't interested in it um but it's just so crazy that like I I literally was like oh wait Heather like so much had happened this week and so many more things that felt important. I was like, oh my God, wait, what?

Like, this is still, I don't know. I know. It felt so silly and icky to watch it. Like, Heather rolls in and I'm like, this isn't funny anymore. I'm like, this was supposed to be a funny bit where Heather comes in. And it ended up just being really sad. And, like, the whole time I was watching, I was staying adjacent. I'm like, I remember a girl coming in or coming back on, on, on,

my season when I was on the bachelor. And I saw all these girls being so mean to her and they were all losing their shit and being mad at Chris without even talking to him and everybody was just. And I remember sitting back and actually a producer got a little mad at me because they're like, can you say something? Because I just sat back and watched and went, what the hell is wrong with you guys? If he wants to bring her back on, that means he must have some pretty legit feelings for her. or it's for TV and he'll send her home on another date like why are we being so mean to her

when she's just trying to pursue something they're trying to run a show he's trying to figure out his feelings and I just sat back and then you know what he sent her home that night and then everybody looked like mean assholes because it didn't matter anyways and that's how I felt watching Heather I'm like yeah my attitude with Heather too was like okay at this point they've been filming for a while right like they know kind of you think it was her choice to show up at that time? No, if you probably wanted to show up at the beginning. I texted Becca Tilly after that because she was on my season and came the first night.

And I was like, I guarantee Heather wanted to come night one, first of all. But also, on the other hand, I did understand the women's frustration only, only to say that, okay, remember a lot of these women at this point, everyone is original except for Michelle. But they were all, they thought they had existing relationships with Matt. then a bunch of new people showed up Michelle included and they're all like what the hell's going on then they keep going and they think they're and then another new person shows up like I totally get the frustration I 100% get the frustration I'd be like because there's always something it's like you want this existing love you know this relationship to you want to see it build

and you want to see it happen and you want to see more time and you're like all of a sudden there's a mysterious human walking in that you're like that's what I was going to ask you like is there in your mind would you be like you know what if I saw this this is what would make me happy or is it just if if the show you know said you this is where we end would that would that be the right decision I don't know here here's my thought I've I've watched the show and I've like stepped away easily like I've been very much in and out I like the recipe right now of like the first couple episodes is like pure drama, whatever, whatever. I don't like that.

Yeah. I like, I hate that, you know, like three episodes in a row, we've just straight not even seen the group date. Right. Haven't even seen it. Right. It just skips to like some night thing where like, wait, didn't. So my point being, like, I enjoy the show when I get to see what the show is about,

which is like dating and meeting people. And that's what I like. I like to see that because I'm a lover and I'm, hopeless romantic and that's why I did the show in the first place and that's what I I thought in some weird way what my experience would be to and and another part of me you know I think I was a villain that did have a legit connection at least for a minute like I'm done watching villains that don't have a connection with the lead because then it just seems ridiculous right like why is she still here yeah yeah like what is the answer besides production is making

her stay i think to me if i'm just speaking like of just in the moment right now i think if they actually cleaned house got the right people involved could actually change the format of the show and make it really about a dating experience and same relationships and taking out all that manipulation bullshit of like you know if they could if they could do that properly i would actually really love to see that and i think we saw a hint of it in Tasha and Claire's season and I think people really liked it and I was so confused when they went backwards on what could you know it is a historic season but what could have been like a real growth moment for the show I felt like they went and yeah kind of how great the tasha

and Zach relationship proposal was I mean that to me was like highlighted the show forever yeah watch the proposal that was that legit And here, like, you know, people ask me all the time. I just, I had a conversation on my podcast this week with Blake. He's like, would you do paradise? I said, no, and here's why. Would I love to find my unicorn 100%? If it's in that atmosphere, fine.

My problem is one. I would never go there and trust what's happening because of all of this stuff that happens. We all know what happens. Yeah. But also just because it's like, it's lost its luster to me. Like we, I don't believe that this show anymore is out to, to have couples find love. I don't believe that that's true anymore. Yeah.

At the end of the day, I really feel like there's steps that are being made, the right steps, there could always be more. There's so many times I usually recap the show, but this time I was like, it just feels wrong. Not right. It just feels wrong. It won't be right till the end of this, because mind you, we have to watch this crap. Yeah. Continue.

on the show. Yeah. Do you think, do you think he ends up with her? Is that why he was? He has to. There's no reason why Chris would have gone to bat. So questions from the community app, the text app where I can take, take questions and talk to some of my vinoes. So Jamie wants to know, actually, you kind of touched on this. She was wondering about the Paradise thing because she said there's so many people that have their redemption there, but I think you answered that where it's just like is is that worth the risk when you don't trust people it's you know yeah look i i do want to find love really bad i'm getting older i do think that there are great guys on this like tasha claire had amazing guys that i some of them i was like i would like to date some of those

people yeah yeah but i would like to date some of those people in the normal world uh where i'm not thinking what's happening behind here and what I unfortunately love for the world to be a part of a potential loss story? Absolutely. Would I love redemption? Absolutely. Because I think I'm a great person and I hate there's a massive amount of people in this world that think I'm a monster. I hate that. But like am I going to sell my soul to do that? I don't really know. Like there's a reason I didn't do well the first time and that's because that environment is like not good for a brain like mine um and so and i will say i mean i know you very well personally outside of the show you are an incredible person you stand for the right things you are self-aware you are hilarious

you're smart you're all these things and you're unapologetic and you're you're just you and you're like take it or leave it and it's everything that people would want out of a person so i hate when people base how they know someone off it sucks i'll live with that forever and that's okay but what i love if one of these great dudes was like olivia let's dm and then i want to take you on a date and maybe fall in love with you here in new york yeah hell yeah i heard i heard bennett single i mean brandy cyrus thinks that bennett and i would make a match she wants to set it up come on well wait because when i talked to him i was like oh he's lovely he's actually lovely he called me right afterwards and she's like i'm going to set you up with ben obviously she didn't do anything so well i mean

let's put it out there just just even like a nice conversation i think he'd even make a good friend if it was no romantic connection like he was very lovely look i love connecting with people from i have no beef with people well that's not true but i love people from this franchise i love i just don't know if going on a beach is is the right way for me to find it i hear you okay i know that i'm not the only one who's obsessed with my dogs because every time I talk about this next sponsor, everyone's like, I get it, I want it. I see a lot of you out there on the gram, off the Vine Facebook group, posting all these cute picks of your little furry friends, and I know that we all do things to take care of

ourselves and our health, but what about these best friends of ours? Got to take care of them too. Springtime supplements has been around for over 40 years making treats and supplements for dogs of all ages, and their products are made with natural ingredients that are tested to ensure purity, quality, and safety. I love when I use these products for Pinot and Ramen because I can trust they're coming from a good source and keeping my boys happy and healthy. I've talked about how much I give my dogs a supplements for joint health so that their joints can stay healthy as they grow. But they also have supplements for skin and coat, seasonal allergies, digestion, and ones for calming, which have actually really come in handy for me, like when I'm podcasting and need them to just have a little Zen moment.

My dogs are also absolutely in love with their cookies, bully sticks. Actually, everything that comes in springtime supplements, they are very excited to take. but especially when it comes to the bully sticks. They want to knock me over to get them. They love those things. See what hundreds of thousands of grateful dog owners have to say about springtime, natural dog supplements, and treats, and help your dog live a happier and healthier life.

Go to springtime.com slash vine to get free shipping on your first order and learn how you can save up to 50%. Podcast listeners will receive free shipping on their first order with code vine when you visit springtime.com. Okay, hold that thought. I have to admit, I wasn't the biggest reader as a little kiddo, and I feel like I missed out on the joy that reading, truly brings. I got into it later in life, but my niece and nephew have always, always loved

reading, which I think is important because great books can open up an entirely new world for discovery. So with literati kids, your child or your niece or nephew or whoever can explore uncharted places every month with spellbinding stories handpicked by experts. Literati Kids is a try before you buy subscription book club. So each month, they deliver five children's books to bring the magic of reading straight to your home. They have age-based book clubs, so they really do have appropriate reads for your kids at any age. Each book is a bundle and it's thoughtfully tailored by education experts with five stories that are meant to spark new interests and get your kids curious. When you become a part of these clubs, you will no longer have to

sort through a ton of books trying to guess what the kid in your life will actually like because Litterati will send you the best and you can choose to purchase the ones you love and send the rest back for free. I like that. Head to Litterati.com slash fine for 25% off your first two orders. select your child's book club and start them off on a literary journey like no other. literati.com slash vine is the only place to find 25% off your first two orders of this one-of-a-kind book subscription, the most joyful way to foster a lifelong love of learning. That's literati.com slash fine. This is Austin Vine, Grape Therapy.

Katie has a question. I'm going to reword it because I hate the term Mary Fickle. Okay. I like murder, makeout, and Mary. Murder, make out, Mary, okay. And murder also as in like, just maybe in your dreams. You don't want to kill. Yeah. Okay.

She said Blake, Ben H. and Chris Souls. Blake Horseman? Mm-hmm. Ooh. Murder, Chris Souls. Okay. Make out with Blake, Mary Ben-Macon. How many times did I say that?

He's my husband. I mean, you know, it's Ben. I feel like a lot of people might, how would you answer that? I mean, you dated Ben Higgins, so I feel like this is fair. I also dated Chris Hulls. And Cristles, so this is fair.

Answer the question. Okay. I would murder Crissoles. Yeah. I would make out with Blake and out of Mary Ben. Yeah. Yeah. Very, very fair.

Lacey wants to know what specific action steps can we take to hold ourselves accountable to be good allies? And what does accountability look like to you? Accountability to me just looks like taking a step or two every day to educate yourself in some way to help your BIPOC community. Whether that's reading a book, reading something on your phone, like an article about anti-racism or racism in your community. like you know sending Venmo to money to someone that you admire who's speak i mean there's so

many things you can do yeah as long as you're you're one keeping your ears open keeping your eyes open actively searching to educate yourself um seeing how you can help the people of color in your community in your life shockingly like it shouldn't be hard for people to do and that's what sucks like i don't think i'm like the the end-all be-all or the best at allyship but i just try yeah yeah that's like you said you we i mean i say every podcast i do everything that i say now i'm i'm like i could i could be wrong please call me out please tell me please let me know what i did was wrong because i mean again you're not educated enough until something happens and you want to be educated. And it's just about, you know, it's about your impact, about your actions and your

impact and what you're doing over what you're not doing. Like, just do something. Do something every day, like you said. I like that advice. Like, that's why I just jumped on a live. When I, when I spoke out on it, I was like, you know, like this, this is tough. I'm friends with Chris, but that doesn't mean I can, I'm not going to sit here and be like, well, let's give them a break. Like, no, this is where accountability comes in. This is where I'm going to just jump on a live so I don't have a scripted moment of just saying what a PR would tell me to say or what I think so I watched your live and I loved it and not because it was then like it's not for me I know that but just watching you I was I was like good for her for

talking off the cuff but at least you know talking off the cuff right like for me I did a rant on Twitter the other day and I was just like yeah yeah but to me that is and i guess i could ask my my my bi-pac friends right and like ask if this legit but it seems a lot more i don't know um or i guess a lot less performative yeah than just releasing some like statement yeah um and i saw what you know i loved that people were sharing what what the women had shared like we are the women of color from this season and i love that people were sharing that but I was like do more I want to hear your voice I want you to say something that was the same thing I felt about Harrison I want to hear him say it I don't want to see it written

I wanted to hear Rachel Kay say it I didn't want to see it was beautifully written I wanted to hear her say it I want to see your face I want to know I want to know and that's why Chris's apology didn't you know obviously not my apology but didn't sit well with me because because I saw his face saying what he said on television the day before. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah. It's all about. Yeah, it is.

It really is, especially in a world of, you know, internet and pandemic. And it just means more when you can see someone's face, when you can hear their own voice saying it, instead of a thought out post or words or, you know, because that's, it's exactly what I said it is. It's thought out where I want to. just like I was like trying to process it on my live which was so fucking terrifying but like part of that to me was good be terrified go on there talk about it you're if you say something wrong it's you're not going to say something so wrong that like people are like it's terrible person versus not saying anything right so I was like I'm doing it and and it felt right and it felt good

and I think you are incredible I think you're incredible I love this conversation I always love talking to you. And when we were talking about hood have for a podcast guest, I'm like, we're on Olivia. And then I went, I really miss her. I really miss you. I know. I feel like, I love, I love like cheering for you from afar, just everything you do. I'm just like so happy. And I still sometimes like can't believe that you're my friend, right? Like I always just thought you were like so cool. And I remember I this is so funny. The first time I podcast with you, you came to my house in Nashville. And I literally was like almost shitting my pants. And I've confessed about this, right? Like I shit my pants. So I was close. I was like, Katelyn Bristow's coming to my house.

And now I'm like, I could text Caitlin and she would answer. You become one of my great friends, actually. There's a handful of people from this world that I would, that I love staying in touch with. People that make me better and you are one of them. Back at you, sister. I'm so glad we shared this glass of wine together. I'm empty, but cheers. Oh, mine's almost empty. I just love you and tell everyone, I love listening to your podcast because you're just, you're meant to do that.

I mean, there's certain people. I say that about Lowe, one of my best friends and you, you guys, you are supposed to, I mean, it's what you're good at. And you have a great voice. Not like, I mean, yes, it sounds good on the old ear holes, but I mean like. but a it's like that you know what i mean uh but tell everybody where they can find your podcast what is and and and where they call you yeah um mouthing off with olivia um where you listen to katelyn is where you listen to mouthing off uh apple whatever spotify everywhere you can find podcast all that it's it's fun i love it um not a great follow anywhere else to be honest with you

i'm very accurate on twitter is where i'm at right now i'm like regenerated on the the twitter so i'm Olivia Carready on Twitter. Instagram I post maybe once a month, but it's always quality. It is. It is. It is quality. I was just, when you posted and you had your brown hair and you're in New York, I was like, yeah.

I mean, it's very nice living with a professional photographer. So when I do post, it's always like, that's also Olivia Carrety. I have a TikTok, but I don't post on it. I just. What the hell? You'd be so great on TikTok. I can't. I tried to, I actually, I tried to do that.

Like, what's that thing where everyone, like, puts their hand in front of the, I don't, I actually should post, I should post the accident that I put together. It was literally like, wait, what? And then I was like, you're like off the beat. I know, it's trash. So I should. I actually saw the funniest TikTok because, you know how everyone has become professional lip singers on TikTok?

I don't get it. I saw this girl. And she goes, you know the song? Um. do do do do i'm jealous i'm always jealous that whole thing yes yes yes so this girl is like she put on the quote it said when everybody is like professional level 10 at lip syncing and then you know she's going to say i'm jealous and then she does it wrong like off and then she's like damn it i mean i i could not tell you how to put that shit together and i'm never going to take the time to figure it

out. She's not going to happen. Well, you're doing very important things. So you just keep doing what you're doing. And let's have another wine night off the record. I got a little weepy there for a minute. Wait, really? A little bit. That's so sweet. You're the freaking cutest. I'll tell you my confession. Oh, my God. I didn't even think of that. I just have a confession. And yes, always have a confession. Always. But yes. I think I've had some of the most iconic confessions all the time. It's not, well, it's not that good. But, um, I don't, um, I, I went on a date recently, which is like revolutionary for me. Yeah.

And it's weird because we had met on, we had met on, uh, Hinge, whatever the, yeah. And I suck at Hinge. Like I'll, I'll match and then never respond. But this guy got to the number portion somehow. And we had texted it back in August, never went anywhere. But he did send me some selfies, but he never said his name. He was just like, hey, let's go out soon. Never went anywhere.

So anyway, the other day, I get a text saying, so let's get coffee and I was like I I had his selfies still from when we were texting months ago I was like okay that's what he looks like no idea what his name is but I was like I can't ask this is too weird so we commit we go we go to get coffee never never no but I went on Hinge to try to find his profile and I couldn't find it anywhere oh okay okay I don't know if he like unmatched with me or he like deleted his profile I don't I could not find him I was looking for his face in all you know yeah so yeah so we get to coffee and it's actually like okay but i just said hi and he's like hi and so then i went to the bathroom at one point i i thought i was texting my friend i texted him

and i said it's going great but i have no fucking idea what his name is and i put my phone away and i didn't i just what pulled my pants up whatever i get back to the table and i sit down and He puts his hand out and he goes, hi, I'm Corey. And I was like, what? And he's like, you just said you didn't know what my fucking name was. And I was like, ah! Wait, that's incredible. That is a great confession.

Oh, my gosh. Wait, that's so cute. It's like an icebreaker. And I kind of appreciate Corey for that response. Corey, it did really well. Yeah, literally. It's going well, but I have no fucking idea. his name is. Hey, that could have been way worse. What if you're like, this guy is not my type? I can't

stand him. How do I get out of this? I just said, like, how embarrassing it is. It had been an hour at that point. I'm, like, sharing my, like, life history, but I have no clue what his name is. Corey. And also, I love the name Corey. I have a dog named Corey. So when he said Corey, I was like, Corey. You're like, how did I forget that? Like, literally. So my gosh. I guess the lesson is like, always say your name yeah like when you're going off of the app say hey this is bob you know because lord knows i was like who is it right i thought to be like hi i'm olivia and then hoping he'd be like hi i'm cori yeah but of course i in the moment i was also like he's wearing a mask is that him i'm not really no my gosh god bless you daters in this world right now i'm dating but yeah that's my

mad respect that's amazing that's a great confession we all appreciate appreciate you sharing it and that is I mean could have been worse could have been worse he sucks he stinks well I don't even care about his name is just get me out of here oh my god that's amazing you're the best love you okay love you so much have a good night bye honey bye I'm katelyen bristow your session is now ending thanks for listening to off the vine grape therapy tune in to hear new minisodes every Thursday and check out new full-length episodes every Tuesday exclusively on Podcast 1.com, the Podcast 1 app and subscribe on Apple Podcasts. Who's on with OTV?

Hey, do you own or rent your own home? I'm sure you do, and I bet it can be hard work. But you know what's easy? Bundling policies with GEICO. Guyco makes it easy to bundle your homeowners or renter's insurance along with your auto policy, which is a good thing because you already have so much to do around on your home. Go to geico.com, get a quote, and see how much you could save. It's Geicoe easy. Visit geico.com today. That's geico.com.