Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - OTV Live at City Winery Nashville Part 1 Featuring Blake Horstmann and Tia Booth

Episode Date: October 9, 2018

Part one of the amazing live podcast recorded at City Winery in Nashville with Kaitlyn and special co-host Brandi Cyrus as well as guests Blake Horstmann and Tia Booth of Bachelor Nation. Listen to all the fun from Blake getting his DM's read to Tia spilling the Tea on things with Colton! Express – Use code 4841 for $25 off when you spend $100 in store or at Express.com See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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If you have questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you, please contact Conix Ontario at 1866-531-2600 to speak to a advisor free of charge but mGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with eye gaming ontario who's that with o tv who's down with o tv tv podcast one presents off the vine with kately bristow caitland is creating a space where girls and gents can feel empowered to be themselves get ready for lots of laughs tabby topics on filtered advice and wine lots of wine Get ready to shake things up. Here's Caitlin.

Who let the dogs out? Who let the dogs out? Who let the dogs out? Who let those dogs out? Will we ever know? It wasn't me. It wasn't me. Oh, boy.

She's the drunk one. So this is the party table. I've been out here for an hour and this is it right here. Party table. I like it. Oh, my gosh. You guys are all getting some serious side boob tonight. breathe it in i'm also not wearing a braw how many dudes do we have here by the way what wait why are you

embarrassed don't be embarrassed i welcome men here it's so funny because were you dragged here by some a girl guys don't come to my stuff like they just don't want this is another thing just the same way anytime somebody comes up oh can i get a picture my wife would kill me i'm like you love the show don't you lie to me um thank you guys for coming this is an awesome space yeah there's a balcony I feel like you guys are like the riff-raff room like at on Ellen what's your name

Maggie you know what you stole my joke Maggie Maple everybody yeah my woo girl you're my woo girl yeah thank you she's gonna do that all night yeah has she be did she do that for you too oh she's been doing the woo's uh she's tried to

weasler way up on stage already I told her I'd see what I could do I felt special for a second but now you're wooing for anybody and and our guests Okay, how many guys are here again? Let me see a hand camp. I see a couple. I see a few. Six?

How many men here think they are good listeners? As the girls pull their hands down? No, you're not. No, you're not. That's funny. Brandy, thanks for DJing and hyping up the crowd before I came out here. Did my best. Played some 90s in honor of you.

You really had a missed opportunity to pour the wine before I got out here. Oh, you know, that's not my expertise. Yeah, but you're supposed to be my co-host here, you know? My co-pilot. I should have wine. I'm just kidding. I'm being a diva. Can we cut up?

Should I drink? Oh, I can't drink red? Guys, can we talk about this outfit? I feel like Catwoman. Okay, wine, everybody has wine in hand? Let's do, oh, rosé. Like classy rosé or like you mixed red and white rosé? Because that's why I got a rosé. I just got my teeth bleached.

Oh, I was trying to hide your excitement. And how do they look? That's why I can't drink red today, so I'm drinking white. You know what? My freckles faded. But thank you. You follow me. Hey, speaking of grape therapy, did you guys listen yesterday?

Well, I know Maggie did. So here's a little thing. So I podcasted about my love for Mr. Rogers and RIP, Mr. Rogers, because I didn't know he died. And I was like, you know what? Like, I watched his documentary and I'm like, I'm going to have Mr. Rogers on my podcast. He's going to be my dream guest. And then I was like so into it. And then all my tweets today were like, sorry to break it to you, Caitlin, but like he died like 15 years ago.

So let's all just have a little toast to Mr. Rogers, shall we? To Mr. Rogers. I'm going to pour one out for Mr. Rogers. Everybody's like, that works here, is like, don't do it. You've really been put through the ringer on Twitter this week. That's for Mr. Rogers. What? You've really been put through the ringer on Twitter this week.

Oh, gosh. I was personally victimized by all the Ross haters. Raise your hand if you like Ross from friends. Thank you. Are you just saying that because you know I love him? Raise your hand if you don't like Ross from friends. Get out! That was a test.

Just kidding. Ross is my favorite character. I find him romantic. I find him endearing, and he's such a spaz, like myself. And I just really appreciate him. Okay, I think we should introduce our first guest. Yeah? Oh, let me, okay.

What, do it up? Should we? I was going to, the pony for the guest. If you think, if it is who you think it's going to be, Do you remember anything about a horse? Somebody, I'm not going to mention names, rode in on a horse. I just put two and two together. Did he ride out on a horse because his last name is horseman?

Huh, punny? I like it. Ladies and gentlemen, let's bring out our first guest, Blake Horstman! Blake, welcome to the podcast. Oh, good to be here. Are you scared? Little. Yeah, because I'm going to make you blackout and confess everything.

Challenge accepted, I feel. It's what I'm going to do. I do. You are one of seven dudes in here. So the ratio is looking good for you, my friend. But yeah, thank you for being here. And first time on Off the Vine. Are you prepped? You have a confession ready? I do. I do. Are we going to Ken you not? Yeah, I got a couple of good Kenny Not. And what else do we got planned? Oh, we're going to play a little game. A couple games. Yeah, games are my favorite. First of all, let's just dive into Blake. Just realized, did you come out on a horse because of your last name?

You just could say, yeah, it was a play on words. You didn't know my last name was. I'm better than that. What? Horseman, yeah. Yeah. You know that before? No.

But I didn't put two in two. And I didn't actually ride, though. I just, like, carried him out. Oh. Yeah, I just, like, pulled them out. But you did ride something out of the... Ox. I wrote an ox.

You wrote an ox? What did I remember that? Where did you been? Oh. Ox night. Ocks night. Okay, so you wrote a horse, or you brought in a horse, and then you wrote an ox. Yeah, that horse...

I thought my entrance was weird. I've never been more nervous to my... I was standing backstage, about to go on live television with a horse, like a live 2,000-pound animal, and I was dying. Oh, yeah. So much could have gone wrong. There was somebody walking behind us with a shovel ready for the horse to shit. That's what I was thinking.

I was just walking behind us. That's what I was thinking. That would have been not romantic. It would have been pretty awesome, actually. Yeah, that's what I was seeing. Like, okay, so you brought in a horse. You got to get back up on the horse. Hell of a line.

Don't just gloss over the line. The line was everything. That was your biggest moment on the whole show. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. It was all downhill from there. So last night we had a Friendsgiving dinner, and Blake came over, and Brandy was there, and we made this whole feast.

And we were going around the table saying what we're thankful for. We're playing games. And then we were playing this game called Quiplash. Have you guys ever heard of it? So much fun. Are you lying? I feel like people don't know that game. Oh, okay. And wait, where was it going? Oh, I know.

So you try and come up with these funny answers, like a question, Like, what would be, like, something humiliating or something? And then everybody writes their answers, and people have to guess you said what. And I said, being the runner-up of the Bachelorette, and then not being the Bachelor. Everybody wanted you to be the Bachelor. Oh, thank you. Thank you. Wow, thank you.

But I also think a lot of ladies are probably pumped that you're still single. Right. So there's that. But tell me, how long ago was this experience for you? I was going to say journey, but that ain't me. How long ago was the experience for you, like, recording-wise? So filming ended mid-May. Filming ended mid-May and we're what month now?

It was like five months. How are you doing? Doing good. Yeah, he's doing good, guys. Doing all right, guys. I'm doing all right, I promise. Were people just so concerned for your well-being? My DMs were just filled with people like, are you going to be okay?

Are you going to be okay? I was one of them. I was just like, guys. I was like, oh, my God, are you okay? No, that was, it was so sad. No, yeah, that was a rough day. Yeah, and do you guys realize that the show is real? Like, are we all on the same page here, that the feelings are real?

Because I'll fight you if you think that was fake. Yeah, I mean, if that was fake, you are Jake Gillen, all my friend. Yeah, that was, you were up for an Oscar because that was an impressive performance. Thank you. Wow, tough one, I know. But, no, it was heartbreaking to watch, but I knew I was like, he's going to come out of it. And see that there's somebody else out there for you. The ladies are going to be lining up at the old door.

Maggie's number one. Oh, that's Maggie. I heard about you backstage. Oh, gosh. You've made a name for yourself. Call me. Slide into my DMs. Yeah, slide into my DMs.

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Wait, do you have your phone out here? what he's been answering. Give me your phone. Give me your phone. You're so nervous. A terrible idea. No, this is a great. No, don't look at the ones you responded to.

Just go into the request. Oh, no, no, into the unread. Yeah, yeah, yeah, because I don't want to see what you're. Yeah, right. You probably respond with, like, I just got mentioned in a whole lot of stories. Oh. Oh, I'm going to call some people out right now. That's the worst in the morning.

After I'm out or whatever, I go through my DM's and look how many times I was mentioned. Like, was I doing something stupid? Was I wasted? Where is Sarah Max? She says, hi, daddy. This is a fun game. By the way, you spelled Daddy wrong. It's with a Zee.

Yeah, Zaddy. Hi, Zaddy. Okay, let's go quick. Slide in and say something. Ooh, this is funny. You're in Nash this weekend. I hope to see you. Hey, handsome.

I know you get so many messages, but if mine reaches you, that would be amazing. I'm like reading them in such a sexual voice. They're actually just being so nice. Like, hey, if I got to meet you, that'd be amazing. They're just super nice. Yeah. They're just, I mean, occasionally.

I honestly just want to find such, oh, so you're unreal. Oh, there's a video? Oh, yes. No, no, no, don't accept. Don't allow. Because then she can just DM me whenever she wants. No, you can do it, do it, do it, do it. Look at her.

Blake, I had to tell you I was a finalist weekend, I was at finalist weekend and found out I'm not going on the show, but I was rooting for you to be the bachelor. So I thought I'd tell you, if you're ever in San Diego, look me up. Oh, he's there often. Yeah, I'd allow on that one. Wait, let's see. No, no. Should I like her photo?

No, no. Do it. This is a horrible game. Reddit's going to go crazy now. Actually, she's really cute. Did I hear a glass break? That means we're having fun. Okay, I'm done, I'm done.

I won't do that to you anymore. But have you been dating since the show? Yeah, I'm dating. I'm dating. I'm dating. I don't have, like, a girlfriend. Oh. I'm dating. Woo!

I'm dating. Oh, yeah. Meg, she can hear you. Can't stay in front of her that. You're single. So anyways, Blake, we all just need to know. Yes. How was the plane ride home from that breakup?

It's a long one. So this is actually, yeah. So, yeah, so this is interesting. So I actually had to stay on that island that night after, yeah. And that was a very small island. And then I took a boat. I took a boat. I took a boat, and then I actually flew to London for five days.

Oh. Yeah, to heal. Sounds terrible. Yeah, it was awful. You took a boat to London from like, where were you? I ran the ABC. secret of card so many times. Yeah, of course. That's what I'm thinking. Okay, so you had to stay because sometimes they'll make you stay during, like, they're like, well, we have to wait until they get

engaged. Exactly, and then they had like the time on the, yeah, and they were like, you had to go into hiding. Yeah, you had to go into hiding. So you went into hiding in London? Yeah. Oh, I mean, if you're going to hide. And I'd never been to London, so actually, yeah. Is that because reality Steve isn't in London? You can't have him see you? Yeah. That happened to me when Chris Souls dumped me. Remember that yeah yeah who's Chris who oh you really don't know oh oh oh Google his name I didn't say anything I just like Google his name um but when he dumped me they made me stay in Iowa for like 13 days with a producer in a snowed-in cabin I'm sorry am I boring you the Rockies games on and we're in the NLD yes

There's some Rockies fans in here? Yeah. What's this? I think, is it still 2-2? I think it's still 2-2. Oh, my God. He's looking at the baseball score while I'm talking. Okay, yeah.

Just give me like a, yeah. What a guy. What a guy. No wonder Becca dump you. Just go! In a low blow. Too soon. I'm all about the too soon humor.

But anyways, you do. You get trapped in hideouts. Brandy, do you feel so out of this conversation? No, I love it. well that's well it is you have you've been talking a lot you're making up for her yeah yeah yeah you got you got brandy's back yeah i feel like the job of the co-host is to like pipe in when needed pipe up yeah yeah you can pipe up like when i take a sip of word then you talk that's time yeah yeah yeah or like when it's time to like take a jab at blake because i've got a lot

of them like stored up it's like very easy then i'll the reason we jab at blake though is because he has a really great sense of humor i think i actually impressed you a little with that last night during that game i think i always think i'm like the funniest one in the room and sean's learned to just be like yeah okay you are he's actually funny but last night blake really um stole my thunder if you will because we were playing this game and i'm like i'm hilarious but his answers were always funnier than mine and he got all the votes and then you like really took me down because i recall me let's turn her mic off around yeah brandy did win she did win a couple times yeah brandy you were pretty funny last night for once i was the funniest person in the room for like five minutes because growing up in my

Family, I'm always the least funny. Are people in your family really funny? Do you live on this? Who is your family? Who is your family? Oh, wait, I forgot. You're from another country. Who is?

Yeah. Wait, there's this girl named Miley. She's kind of funny. I don't know. I don't think we know her in Canada. Yeah, no? No. Party in the Canadian.

Yeah, we don't play her. It's party in Canada. Oh, my God. It's so funny when you're at a bar with Brandy, too, and that song comes on. Her face is. I'm just like, oh, yeah, what do you do? When people play party in the USA, are you like,

just plays everywhere all the time? But, I mean, I play it in my DJ set, so I can't really complain. It's a crowd pleaser. I bet the crowd loves that, too, don't they? Yeah, play what play? Well, I mean, what else you guys want to know from Blake? I feel like we should bring out our other guests and then continue the conversation. Because I don't know if you noticed, but there's still a mic open.

Hey! Hey, T! Everybody! Oh, girl! No, you look good. Oh, my, look at that hair. Thank you. Are you kidding me? I told her not to make you look better than me.

Where's my wine? I'm just kidding. Where is your wine? Oh, here's a glass. What do you want, red or white? White. Okay. Hey, Tia.

Hi. Oh, my gosh. Tia, everybody. Let's give her another round of a glass. Oh, thank you. So, like, where's Colton? Just kidding. Oh, wow.

I'm on fire. I'm on fire, and you know we're going to go there. Colton's in Singapore. Oh. Colton is in Singapore. She knows. This is going to be fun. This is where the juice starts coming out.

This, oh, Tia's getting nervous. She's like, the horse, everybody, yeah. So, okay, Tia, you were on Ari's season. Did you really like him? Hard-hitting questions here, Tia. He was great. He was a great kisser? He was a very slow kisser.

Is that good? Kisser. Okay, good kisser. Because he's like the kissing bandit. That was his shtick. Like me? You? I mean, I was.

I mean, I was. If you guys were the lead on a show, would you make out with more than, like? Yes. Maggie, I know. But would you guys kiss somebody the first night? Yes. Thank you. I got so much shit for that.

So you did like him. But when you removed yourself from the situation, were you over it? Mm-hmm. Yeah. This happens. You think you're. Let me tell you, they pump up that lead so much. I was always like, when the guys left my show,

I'm like, they're going to be over me in two seconds. They'll be like, oh, what was I thinking? Because that's what happens. Did you feel the same way? No. No, your feelings were real. I was going to say, no, actually. She was my best friends.

Be careful. Oh, yeah. Please raise your right hand. I don't know. And I'm a hard seven. Drink more wine. Do you swear? To spill the tea.

Nothing but the tea. No, do you swear to tell the tea? spill the tea the whole tea and nothing about the tea so help you reality steve no i don't no i'm kidding i do i do i do you have to this is the trust tree with the nest you know it's a podcast nobody listens to this normally that works but there's 500 people

when you say that you're good no and nobody has their phones out can we just i see you do you have bad blood with somebody no i really don't like i don't have any flat butt I'm a soft soft six Okay Guys no okay

So during After the final rose Becca said some unfortunate things Live on that show That one thing Okay And do you know what I'm talking about? Did you watch it?

Wait I didn't watch Well so she said Oh like people watched it Like if they watch it They know what you're talking about I think Oh what did she say

So it wasn't that bad apparently I'm just No no she said the whole remark about not being able to take care of a sick kid because I was in my head during the show. Yes. So that hurt. I don't think she meant to say. I think she was actually reaching for something substantial, like a reason, because I don't

think she had a reason, so she was looking for something to say to me. Of course. And I know she regrets saying it, but. It's true because in a moment you're just trying to reach for anything just to like make an excuse as to why you're not the person because you're like, well, I really care about them. And I'm like, I've gone here with you this whole way. and now I have to just tell you, like, you're not it

when I made you feel like you are the whole time. So you have to reach for something. So she probably said it and then was like, oh. Yeah, it was one of those like, oh. Like, I can even see Chris Harrison go, oh. Yeah, yeah. Shouldn't have said that. He shouldn't have said that.

Yes, Chris Harrison. That was awesome. I absolutely love him. He's become one of my dear friends out of this whole situation. Like, producers, not so much. But Chris Harrison. He's the best. I don't know if you guys have listened to that.

I'm not mad at producers. I'm not better. But Chris Harrison, to me, is like, a friend, a dad. That's pretty much it. He's just been so amazing to me through everything. So if anybody asks, is Chris Harrison really that cool in person? Yes, he is. And he's such a good dad.

He's the best. He's such a good dad. Yeah. Anyways, now the tea can be passed to Tia. Yes. Thank God. Tia, are you a little bit nervous? Where's Sarah?

No, Sarah DePui. Where's my friend, Sarah? Oh, yeah. Where is she? Hi. Hi. Hi. Are you having fun? You have to say yes. Okay. Someone to say, go hogs, go. Go hogs?

Show yourself. Who's saying that? Oh, back there. Very back. Hi. Did you say go hogs go? They're playing Alabama this weekend. It's not looking good. Not looking good. You Americans in your sports. No, boo. I'm like, go Vancouver Canucks. I like hockey. Whoa, that landied with you guys. Landy Are you from Vancouver? Really?

Langley. Oh, yeah, yeah. Vancouver. And have you been there like your whole life? You're Big Connuck guys? Oh, I'm actually an Edmonton Oiler fan, but nobody knows.

I know. I know they suck. They're terrible, but it's my home team. Can I just... My mom used to take us to games. Actually, my mom, my dad had season tickets, and we grew up, and Wayne Gretzky used to fistpump my mom

on the way off the ice. Does anybody know of Wayne Gretkees? Yes. Okay, good. I was about to get you all out of here if you didn't. He's my hero. Hevainos, when you're not enjoying your wine, enjoy LaCroix Sparkly Water, a calorie sweetener and sodium, innocent beverage with nothing artificial. Make the switch to LaCroix Sparkly Water a healthier alternative for you and your lifestyle. It's zero calories, zero sweeteners, zero sodium, that equals innocent, all natural, environmentally friendly, and

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nationwide, so for more information, join the LaCroix community on social at LeCroy Water, or check us out at www.com.com. But anyways, Tia, why don't we do this? We'll get you a little warmed up. You just got out here. I don't need to put you on the spot right away. Let's confess. let's do the confession booth and tell and i will wash away all of your sins with my wine blake you're up confession oh no i've been dreading this for a week okay so um my family so especially my dad's out of the family they think just like poop and fart is hilarious i don't know if anybody else's family's like that but i got in trouble on my season for

liking poop and fart jokes? Ian, I don't know if you guys remember Ian, but he thought I was shallow and surface level for like fart jokes. And I was like, he was like, I'm not in the mood for fart jokes. I'm like, what? So I shouldn't tell you my next joke. Okay, go on. So I just remember being around like Thanksgiving dinner, I think, or Christmas dinner.

And they were like all talking about how they've all shit their pants at some point for time. And I felt so left out because I had never shit my pants. I was like, who am I? Yeah, I was like, who am I? Yeah, what a loser. So, um, not much longer, long after. Turkey, it'll do it too.

I was, yeah, I was in bed and I don't know what, honestly don't know what happened. Like my stomach started to hurt. It's about to get weird. Next thing I knew, yeah, I was like, oh, whoa, in bed, like in bed. White cheese? I literally shit the bed. You literally shit the bed. really shit the bed. Gross. Yeah, but I just remember, like, after I had shit the bed, and I did the

clean up, and I, like, threw the sheets out, flipped the mattress, did the whole thing. I remember laying in bed, like, my parents are going to be so proud of me. Wow. I can talk at Christmas dinner. Like, that's something to talk about at Christmas dinner. Like, yeah, I fit in now. Oh, that's funny. Yeah, I honestly don't know what happened. I just, it was like. You channeled it. You were like, damn, my dad's not going to love me unless I'm like, shit the bed and then you manifested it.

My dad would love me. I just shit the bed. And now he loves you. Yeah. I'm really proud of you. Yeah. Cheers to that. I'll wash away. I'll wash away. Yeah, I'll do that for you. Cheers. Cheers. Tia. Confessed to us, my child. Okay. I feel like I have multiple

confessions. Right. Does it involve Colton? Why do I keep going there? I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I just feel like, okay, wait, before you confess. No, we're getting get you buttered up and then we'll ask the questions. Go on. Okay. I'm going to start with the not shitting my pants confession and then we'll finish with that okay okay perfect so first confession is um i know everybody goes silent i love it i hope my mom doesn't listen to this okay i just moved to my

new apartment and i have a bag full of vibrators oh vibrators yeah yeah and my mom helped me move to my new apartment. So I had a bag full of fun things that are used at my house and not at my mom's house and I had to put them in a backpack and I had to let the movers move all of the fun toys to my new apartment so my mom wouldn't see. So that's the first confession. Did they see? No. Did you have a box labeled like vibrators? The bag said the bag says super important shit.

which it is and my mom cannot see that bag because it has a rabbit in it oh yeah and it has other shit in it that we can know what that mean I'm glad you don't know what that means what does that mean a rabbit it's the best thing in the world you wouldn't know what it is

that's why Colton would not know how to with me thank you thank you Yes. Sorry, boo. Sorry, boo. I love you.

I am very happy. Ratings, I know exactly what my headline's going to be for this podcast. Call the media. I'm just kidding. I wouldn't. Yeah, I would. Hey, you confess it. Thank you for that.

You're welcome. That I will take two drinks for. Let's alter Satia for that one. Which also, Blake should thank you because then people forgot about you shitting the bed. Thank you, Tia. Oh, my God. Yes, Tia. Also, girls, get yourself a rabbit.

Get yourself a rabbit. I named mine, Peter. Better than any man. Sorry, man. That is the title. Where's the white wine? That's so funny, but you should really not label it that? Because what if you got, like, robbed and they thought they were getting some really important shit?

And I just got a box full of dildos. surprise um okay second shit your pants confession do i have to say no yes you don't have to she's like i'm tapped out okay only because sarah liz and morgan know him he was my freshman year of college love one story to start like that this was my crush in college so i was in the dorm and i had a roommate and two sweetmates and i knew that i had food poisoning it was not a good time so I drove to Jacob Wall's house knowing that I had food poisoning. What? Yeah.

He let me in. One, he let me in. And it was coming out of both ends, so we were puking and then shitting and then puking. I like to call that a good butt puk. Like puking in your shit. We lost lots of weight that year. This happened often? This is one time.

Okay. Just eating raw, capped cheese. So I was laying on the floor praying for God to take me home because it was so bad. And he was so sweet. He came in and he Lysoled the toilet seat and I slid off the toilet seat because I really needed a shit. You paint a pretty picture. Very romantic and I called my mom and she came and picked me up and now I wanted to die. But I lost five pounds.

so worth it is it worth it I don't know about that dildos and food poisoning if you take anything away from this podcast get yourself a dildo and a good old food poisoning good old fash of food poisoning

um thank you I'm okay with that one brandy I don't know if I can follow this up like the Colton reaction was just really high here I know Colton who? Yeah who's Colton I don't know Colton who now

um okay i have like a decent one i guess okay uh last date i went on before i left i had just heard my period which is like the biggest bummer like god why why so you wanted to go already were you i mean just like there's like all the reasons like what if you do want to have sex or like you know you're bloated maybe the universe is telling you to not sleep with him on the first date there's a lot of reasons it was it was a second date so oh oh you universe what are you doing to me i was already like so upset about being on my period. So we go to dinner. Dinner's gray. We have a great time. And he's like, do you want to come back to my apartment? And I'm like, yeah, sounds great. So we go back to his apartment. And I'm like, I forgot to your tampon, which sucks to do

at a dude's house, right? Like, where do you put it? Like, you can't flush them. What if you stop the toilet up? You can't put it in the trash can because then he's the one that has to get rid of it. Like, oh, so much anxiety. Even the rap. And by the way, this is, by the way, this is why guys don't come to this. Yeah. This is why. So my mom, I text my mom, and I'm like, mom, what do I do? And she's like, You wrap it up in a lot of toilet paper and you put it in the trash can. He'll never even know what it is. I'm like, all right.

That's what I'm going to do. Mama Tish. Chase my tampon. It's in the trash can and go back out. He hands me a drink. We're sitting there. We're chatting. We're having a great time.

He has a dog all of a sudden. The dog comes out with a bloody tampon and I'm like. No, no, no, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope. I was mortified. What do you mean? You don't know how to follow it. That was the best one. This is amazing.

That's the best one. You get a scrunch you Have her a scrunchy What? Yeah, haven't talked to him since Well, yeah I mean, that would be true love if he did Blake doesn't know what's going on

What? No He doesn't know what a tampon is Oh, okay But dogs like Dog sniff that shit out Yeah, they do Like human smells

A friend of mine who I won't mention names Who might be here tonight Her dog ate She's laughing from backstage Bailey. Her dog had to get like her stomach pumped from dirty tampons. I'm so sorry. That is awful.

Bailey also, oh, her name's Bailey. Sorry, I just outed your dog. Yeah, there she is. Her dog banks love dirty used tampon. That's gross. That was a good confession, though.

This podcast gets so gross. What did he say? Like, what did he? I mean, he tried to actually. It was totally fine, but I was mortified. That's actually one of the best confessions I've heard. He did not text me the next day, and so I just left it alone and just haven't talked to him since. Wow.

Let's cheers to that one. That's a good one. I'm like into you over here. I need a refill. This one's for the dog. Everybody on three. Can you not? One, two, three.

Can you not? Dog? So on Sunday, October 14th from the CW and the creator of Jane the Virgin, comes the highly anticipated new series Charmed. Charmed is the incredible new show. about the magic of sisterhood, the power of sisterhood. Two sisters, an activist, and a fun-loving sorority wannabe, have the shock of their lives, the untimely and suspicious death of their mother.

Then another huge shock shows up at the door, an older sister, a scientist. Mom's been hiding that third sister all her life. With the death of her mother, suddenly their powers are unleashed, mind-reading, freezing time, moving things with the mind. Imagine if all the women you knew and loved made you more powerful, your very own OG squad, what would that be like? Would you feel like nothing could stop you? If you could have a magic power to make everyday life a little easier, what would it be? Are you late for a ride or share? Freeze time. Is your latte cold maybe warm it up with a little flame from the tip of your finger?

Threadbear yoga pants, how about invisibility spell? What about something bigger? If you were a witch-eye doctor, you could prescribe gender and colorblind glasses. What if the guy your dating starts ghosting you? You could send him a ghost. Each charmed one has a special power. but they have to figure out how to access and control them and they must find the craft in witchcraft, all while trying to lead a normal life and make the world a better place. Using the power of three,

the charmed ones will temper the patriarchal powers that be with the powers of she. Three sisters, they will find the unique magical gifts in themselves and the power in each other, and together they will find their destinies and become the power of three. These three women come to find they are stronger together, their supernatural powers combined,

the charmed ones, will fight even, and protect the innocent. Starring Madeline Mantec, Sarah Jeffrey, and Melanie Diaz charmed his casting its spell on the CW series premiere Sunday, October 14th, after the season premiere of Supergirl only on the CW, and I cannot wait. We'll be back with more Off the Vine with Caitlin Bristow. Alexa isn't the only one with Breaking News. Make sure to hang around at the end of this podcast for the latest breaking headlines on the AP News Minute.

if you guys like my show, then you're going to love the first degree on podcast one. Join Lady Gangs Jack Van Eck along with her best friend and TV producer Alexis Linkletter and crime journalist Billy Jensen as they explore the most shocking crimes, mysteries, and cults with the people closest to the cases. And who knows, you may be their next guest. Check out the first degree every Wednesday on podcast one or wherever you find your favorite podcasts. Now back to Off the Vine with Caitlin Bristow. See ya.

What happened between you and Colton? We all need to know. We need to sleep tonight. So. I'm so excited. I actually don't know the answer to this, and I'm very good. I know me neither. I'm really excited.

Okay, first of all, how do you feel that he's the bachelor? Because I feel like that would suck. Okay, let's be honest. Let's be honest. Yes. Well, Blake's ready. Colton will always want to save face with me because he never wants to be on my bad side

because he knows I will fuck him up. Yes. But I would be lying if I said I wasn't bitter about him getting the chance to be engaged right now. Yeah. Because I want to be engaged.

Well, this is why Tia needs to be the next bachelorette. Yeah. Thank you. I say we sign petitions and, like, get it out there because Tia deserves to find love more than some people. Thank you. Just kidding, everybody needs to find love.

I try and be so politically correct all the time. I'm like, I don't say that. People call you out, Caitlin. Yeah, like, what happened? Okay, here's my guest from an outsider perspective slash been there. Did he know he had a chance to be the bachelor so he didn't take your relationship seriously because he was like,

but that's closing a door on being the most eligible? man in America? Okay, absolutely he did. I knew it. And guess what's going to happen? He's going to come running back. He's going to come running back or... He's going to come running back to me? Yeah. What would you do? What would you do? No, thank you. So if, okay, wait, what happens if at the end of his season he doesn't find love and he says he's still in love with you? Would you take him back? No. No, no. My girl. My girl.

He wasn't ready to be over Becca. He wasn't ready to go be serious with me, but now he's ready to find a wife. Yeah. Not drinking that water. Doesn't add up, does it? It doesn't add up. It doesn't add up. He told Chris Harrison that he would do the best for good TV.

It's on Twitter. Holy that tea is hot. Bitter Blake over here is living for this, too. That sounds like somebody else I know. That's not cool because I think as viewers of the show, you want to see the love stories, right? Like, it's fun. It's fun to watch the drunk guy on night one and the Jordans.

I love Jordan. It's fun to watch that for like good TV, but you get really invested when the love stories happen. and I just feel like this happened for I'm not trying to just bash him because he was my runner up but Nick did not seem to be there for love and I just it wasn't convincing I feel like same thing with Colton I feel like he's first of all you're 26 men's brains don't develop right here until they're 30 do they even develop then I'm not sure not I don't I don't know they say they're frontal lobe their frontal lobe and it's the decision making part of the brain and it's the decision making part of the brain and it's It does not. It's happening. Oh, wait. Turn Blake's mic off.

He's 29. I'm an asshole. You're almost there. When are you 30? April? Is that what your birth? No, May. He's almost 30.

April, April. April. I honestly think, like, it's more like 33 that they start to pull it together. And I hate the excuse. Sorry, guys. This again, it's not, like, we're leaving. We're never coming back. But I feel like men always have a podcast anymore.

It's like an excuse. They're like, well, we're guys. It's like, oh, so that means you get to be a deck. Boys will be boys. Yeah. I'm just kidding. And he's not the same. Just kidding.

Oh, no, Drake. No, Drake, not you. Blake, read your audience. It's like 96% winning. Blake will never get a podcast. Actually, he well, because he was on the bass where and everybody gets a podcast. It's just like a thing. Like, you can just come off the show and you get a podcast?

Yeah. Because I had to work my ass off to get one. It's a thing. It's a thing. Are you actually getting a podcast? No. It's easy for the guys. Tia, I would listen to your podcast.

Thank you. And your podcast should be called Spill the Tia. Oh, that's great. Wait. Spilt in name. That was good. That was good. We've got a game for you guys.

Are you ready? Oh, gosh. It's what I told you about earlier. I'm prepared. Oh, yeah. We're going to go to the game first. Okay. You have time.

We're going to play Make Love, Mary, Murder. I'm going to ask Blake. Okay, you get three. Make love, Mary, Murder. Here you go. Caitlin, Tia, Brandy. Come on. come on yeah do i yeah you have to it's the game we're ready bitch yeah tell us blake

really think about it i am i am he's so nervous i am i am he's so nervous i am and you're not and i think we can all agree that you're not going to offend us i'm an asshole well then marry her so she doesn't get mad i'd marry to you i'm terrified okay um She doesn't take offense to that. What? Caitlin. What? What?

You say I'd marry Tia? Yeah. What the f***ing you? See, now if I say I'm going to kill Brandy, she'll freak out. She freaked out and you're not going to marry. You got to say what you feel. I know Blake's... That's true.

Kill. You're engaged, so... Oh. See how I slid that in? No, no, no, that counts. No. Yeah, sorry. I'm fine with either, I guess.

Okay. Sorry, Caitlin. I understand. God, I really thought I'm going to be married. Wow. Oh, see, that's not a bad. That's fine. That's fine.

I'll take it. I'm married. That's good. I found a loophole. I found that loophole. You did. That was good. Yeah, I'm not mad at it.

That's pretty good. Yeah. Perfect. Okay. Fine. Damn, I thought that was going to be better than that. I know. You're hoping for way more drama, I feel.

Okay, who is, okay, you can ask me. No, I don't know yet. Oh. Wow. Wait a prep for the show. Brandy. Okay. Mary F*** kill.

Okay. Hey. That's not the game. Mary make love. Murder. Right. Kevin Love, okay, Ben Higgins, okay, Sam Hunt. Oh, go.

Hey, wait, we got to repeat this. Sam Hunt, Ben Higgins, and Kevin Love? Mm-hmm. Kevin Love, by the way, just look up his Instagram. You'll see. Look up, Kevin Love. If anyone knows anything about me, you know, I would do anything for Kevin Love, so. Yeah, you'd marry Kevin.

I would marry Kevin Love 100%. Um, no, I think I would fuck Sam Hunt and I'm sorry. Sorry, Ben. Although, you know what, though? Sam is married. Yeah, but that's... That's... That's...

So, maybe I shouldn't do that. Is that my loophole to say, sorry, Sam? No? No. It's whatever your little heart feels. And it's, like, this is just unmarried, Sam, Hunt? Is that cool? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I stick with my first answer. Okay. Sorry, Ben. Sorry, Ben. Sorry, Ben. I cannot wait to tell you, Ben. That's good. That's good.

Yeah, every day. Okay. Brandy, you asked Tia? Is that what's going on? Still not. Yeah. All right. Ari.

Colton. Luke Pell. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. F***ing Colton to take his virginity.

Make love. Wait. Wait. I missed it. What? Say that again. I missed it. Make love to Colton to take his virginity.

We're saying that again. Because I'm the boss bitch. Okay. Okay, we're killing. Oh, fuck. Murder, it sounds nicer. This is hard. Murder loop.

This is hard. Mary Lou? No, murder him. Oh, wait, Ari. You know, the loop here could be if you married Cole, then you would also get to make love to him. No take backs. No.

No gives these backsies. No, take back. I can't marry Ari because he's marrying one of my friends. Yeah, but this is the unmarried. But he's not married yet. Blake found a loophole. Now everybody's messing up the game. It's irrelevant, I feel.

All's fair in love and war, you know. Okay, so we're going to kill Ari. Mary Luke. Wow. Make love to Colton. I'm here for it. Fair. That was a tough one.

Fair. Yeah. Okay. Blake. Oh, damn. I don't have a good one, but. But, okay. Maybe you don't have a good one.

Because you know these people and you've met them and been on their show. Okay. I'm going, Jimmy Kimmel. Jimmy Fallon. Chris Harrison. Oh, my gosh. Okay, I would definitely marry Chris Harrison. Yeah.

Yeah. Definitely. He appreciates wine. He gets my humor. He's a great dad. Am I in love of Chris Harrison? Wait a minute. Is this your confession?

He's super hot. Just kidding. Okay, so I'd marry Chris Harrison. I would make love. This is going to go viral. I'm so excited. I would make love to Jimmy. I would, okay, I would make love to Jimmy Fallon.

Yeah. No! Because I feel like he's, I feel like he likes the drink and we'd have some good, like, yeah. Yeah. And then I would, unfortunately, although I love him, murder Kimmel, because I feel like he talks too much politics. Yeah. Canadians don't like talking about American politics. Fair, yeah. Tagging Kimmel and Jimmy Fallon and that.

Tagged them both in that story. Hi, Jimmy. This is plural. Oh, I was going to do that. No! No! No! That's a good one. Okay, Ross Joey Chandler. You always marry Chandler. Yes, you always marry Chandler

Chananler Bong He's the best Chandler Bing is a bed No, I would marry Ross Because because he'd probably divorce me And then I could remarry Joey Joey, fuck Joey! Yeah, I'd obviously

I would obviously make love to Joey Because as if that guy doesn't have a huge hammer And Chandler I would, does that mean I'd kill him? No, don't kill Chandler No, no, that's so unfortunate Kill Ross. No, I would never kill Ross.

I would never kill Ross train too. I'm so on the Ross train. I would kill, unfortunately, Chandler. Yeah. No. Yeah, because I can't have someone be funnier than me. Chandler would have to take a back seat to me, and he would steal my thunder all the time. I am very, very into my decision.

Yeah. And that's how you play. Mary, murder, make love. Those are great rounds. Yeah. That was good. That was good. I'm still mad at the loophole, but whatever.

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where we live and come trick or treating with no costume on as like a 20 year old woman and ask Where Sean B is? Can you not? They did that. And I have a doorbell camera, and these girls were, like, standing there, and they're like, what are we going to do if Caitlin answers the door? And you're watching? I was watching.

It's phenomenal. Yeah. So then they left, and I walked out, and then they turned around. They're like, Caitlin. I'm like, sorry, it's not Sean. P.S. I have a doorbell camera, and I heard everything you said. And they were like, oh, God. They were mortified, as they should be.

Girls are crazy. I had story time. Yeah, I had... Again, read your audience. Girls are crazy. But yes, we are. So I, I had the same similar thing happen to me. So I took a picture by my place in Denver.

Somehow, they figured it out. There was about 10 of them. Knocked on all my neighbor's doors in my condo. No, they did not. Asked where Blake lived, found me and knocked on my... They were wasted. It was like recently. It was day drinking.

I knew you looked familiar. Maggie's shaking her head. We're getting dark. Maggie's getting dark. But it gets worse. So they knocked, and I looked out the people, and I was like, I don't know any of them. So I walked away. My door was unlocked.

They opened the door. No shame. And two of them came in and, like, put their foot in. I hope they're not listening. Put their foot in the door. They're here. No, I hope they are. But luckily, I was like, I had friends over, and I was in the back, so they didn't see me.

And they're like, no, no, no, you got the wrong house. You got the wrong house. And they wouldn't leave. They had to force. Like, my friends had to forcefully pushed them out of the door. That seems illegal. It was crazy. It was scary.

Like, you should probably get a restraining order. I don't know them. So I can't, I don't know their names. Well, if you're out there, they didn't actually see me, so I think I'm safe, but it was... No, you're not safe. That is not safe. That is so too far. It was crazy.

Can you not? They put their door, you know, when you put your foot in front of the door, and then you can't close the door. Would you guys do that? Yeah, you say that, but... Be honest. Maggie? That's so crazy. Maggie, would you do that?

Okay, she promises. We trust you. We trust you, Maggie. Okay, who else has a good palo. Can you not? Can you not with your slutty police and electrician and nurse and all this bullshit, slutty costume shit? Can you not?

It's not weird. Can you, though? But like, can you? But like can you? But let me tell you, I was a slutty nurse when I was 18 and I felt really good about that. I'm a slutty something every year. That's the point of Halloween. Some girls are like, I'm going to return my costume as soon as I get home.

Anybody being something slutty for Halloween out there this year? My. Oh, is that a guy's hand? Slutty donut. Slutty nurse. What I'm like, one of my. Oh, slutty avocado. That sounds cute.

I'm kind of into that. Last night, one of the questions was, what's the inappropriate? What's it inappropriate, like, what is it, young teenage costume? I said, slutty newborn, I think. He did. He said that. That didn't land. That didn't land.

That didn't land. It did last night, but again, read your audience. I know you went there because you think everybody's drunk, but that just sobered all of us. Yeah, I miss. Brandy. Mine's actually a true story. I throw an epic Halloween party in my house, usually.

This year it's not happening, but can you not come to my Halloween party where there's not a lock on my downstairs bathroom door? Because I live by myself, why do you need that? Can you not come and have oral sex? against my sink in my downstairs bathroom while I have 100 people in my home. Can you not? Was that Wells and Sarah? Because they were there.

No, they were upstairs in my bathroom. With the lock. They were like, we go over the lock door here. Oh my gosh. I heard some pretty crazy stories from that Halloween party. It was lit. It was so lit. Mega lit.

I missed it. I didn't know what the definition of lit was until I went to Miley Cyrus's 4th of July party. I it took me at least eight days to recover at least coming from the girl that doesn't get hung over I was not okay no I think I smoked something too Sean had to like throw you over his shoulder and drag you out you were the last one to leave the party and you were like which is also very impressive oh yeah because what my least what 24 25 somebody knows I'm 33 okay I can't hang oh you you were hanging that night was I know hanging over Sean's shoulder He was like, time to go, Caitlin.

It was VIP pity laughers. I believe we were chasing you around the pool at one point trying to get you in the car. Yeah. You were loving the, you were love in life. I just was really enjoying the diving board. Yes, you were. Yeah, I was feeling it. It was full, pretty dangerous, actually.

Okay, no, did you already say yours? Yeah. Oh, Blake, that's who hasn't. My turn. Yeah. Can you not spend six months mortgage on your costume? And I DIY, you know, I created, mine's a good will costume. And this person said, do people do that?

Yeah. Oh, God, yeah. Well, but sometimes there's, if you go to a bar and there's, like, a $3,000, like, a prize for having, like, the best, yeah, for having, like, the best costume. And somebody walks in with, like, a $6,000 costume. That's incredible. Like, you've seen that transformer one where that person, like, that's incredible, yeah. What are you going to be for Halloween? Jason. I'm going to be Jason, and Jason's going to be me for Halloween.

I'm going to wear... Are you getting a wig? I already bought a wig. Yeah, like a slick back wig. That's funny. I'm going to wear, like, a blazer. What's he going to do? And, like, play with my cuffs.

He's going to wear, he's going to wear a tank top and a backwards hat. Yeah, where's your tank top? And boots. Maybe I'll be Blake for Halloween, too, because that's good. Maybe I'll be Blake for Halloween. There you go. Yeah. I thought when you said Jason, I was like, like, like, wear a mask, like the scary Jason.

I'm like, who's Jason? Oh, yeah. How do you see his last name? Totic. Maggie, I really love you. No, I do. I really love you. You know how we're doing the Blaret?

Where's Blair? Where's Blair? Where she is. We're doing the Blaret, and we're going to find Blair Love, and she's going to hand out scrunchies and say, do you accept this do? I know. However.

But that's what we're going to do for Tia after. If she's not the next Bachelorette, it'll be the Tia et. And then after that, you're up. The Blakler? The Blakler. The Blakler. Yeah, the Blakeler. I think people would be down for that.

You apply? You apply? I'll apply. You'll apply. You don't have to. to, you're in. You are definitely the drunk guy night one. My whole family thought I was going to be.

My whole family was like, Caitlin, we got to sit you down and have this conversation, but don't be the drunk guy night one. And I was like, no guarantees, Dad. Were you? I was, but luckily somebody else was more drunk and they got that. You wouldn't be able to tell. I was like,

oh, I was really drunk, but really I was just like acting like this. We had the role. So did we, yeah. Oh, yeah, you guys couldn't have the rules. That is mind-blowing. Do you know how much alcohol is flowing the first night on the Bachelor Mansion? Who's the first one that got cut off? That's nuts.

Did you guys have two drinks per hour? I had moonshine. Moonshine? Two moonshines for hour? Did you bring that with you? Two moonshines per hour. Wait, that would have been smart. Sneak in a flask of like...

Yeah, already set it up. Haybills and moonshine. Oh, that's fun. I feel like it would have been so much more fun if we were able to like really drink. Honestly, it was crazy. I do see the situation with like, cutting off the alcohol because there was a girl on my season who I'm like, alcohol just does not work for this girl, but it made her really funny. Ashley S. She like thought an onion was a

pomegranate or something or like either way around. Which by the way, Ashley S is one of my favorite human beings to this day. Like she's actually very intelligent. She doesn't drink anymore because they were like encouraging because she was freaking funny when she drank. I went back and watched some of Crystal season. You guys ever like really bored out of your mind? It was a good season. There were some real crazy bitches on that one. Ashley, I was on it. The girls were solid on that season.

Ashley I and Jared. What the fuck? Spill it, T. I was gone. I left the same day they got engaged. But what makes your reaction, WTF? Yeah. I'm not waiting that long.

Oh. Is that how long? No, that's waiting. But I would just always hold on to the fact that he, like, didn't love me off the bad i'd be like what the hell was that about like i would be like if it's not love at first sight then what the hell it would yeah you know yeah i do love their love story because it's so classic ashley i like she's been like she has been like manifesting like a weird rom-com her whole life and it happened but for me i'd be like what's wrong with you that you didn't love me like right off

the bad yeah same yeah yeah but i mean it's cute for them it's cute hey guys so we had so much went too much fun recording that live show. It went obviously longer than others because we had a crowd to entertain. So we're going to be doing a two-part podcast, so make sure you tune in on Thursday for grape therapy to hear more of the fun and games and all of the tea. You're not going to want to miss part two. Again, that will be Thursday on Great Therapy. Tune in.

Thanks for listening to Off the Vine with Caitlin Briscoe. Get new episodes every Tuesday exclusively on podcast, dot com the podcast one app and subscribe on apple podcasts who's done with o tv sponsors for this week's off the vine c w's charmed check out the charmed series premiere sunday october 14th on the cw express go to express dot com and use code 4841 in store or online for twenty five dollars off when you spend a hundred dollars lecroy sparkling water the 100% innocent beverage visit lecroy water dot com and true car visit true car for more confident carbine experience.