Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Perez, Je T'aime: With Perez Hilton

Episode Date: October 2, 2018

This week Kaitlyn sits down with Blogger, Television personality, Youtuber and fellow Podcast One alum Perez Hilton! Join in the fun as they gossip about going on their favorite reality shows, how parenthood has changed his outlook, and an explicit run in with a famous musician! Express – Go to Express.com and use code 4841 for $25 off when you spend $100 Leesa - Go to Leesa.com/VINE for up to $235 off and free shipping Take the #OffTheVine Challenge. Get a LEESA mattress, and then tweet at me about your LEESA, using #OfftheVineChallenge. I’ll call out your twitter handle on my Podcast! See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Okay, let's talk about the original enemies to lovers story. Before all of our reality TV couples, before the rom-coms, we binge, there was Elizabeth Bennett and Mr. Darcy in pride and prejudice. And Audible has just dropped a brand new original that will have you completely hooked, I am. It's not just any audiobook. This is a full cast performance. So Marisa Abella, you might know her from industry, brings Elizabeth Bennett to life.

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So whether it's your first time experiencing pride and prejudice or you've read it a million times, you're going to fall absolutely in love all over again. So go listen to Pride and Prejudice now at audible.ca slash Jane Austen. Get ready for lots of laughs, tabby topics, unfiltered advice, and wine. Lots of wine. Get ready to shake things up. Here's Caitlin. Welcome to Off the Vine. I'm your host, Caitlin Bristow.

Today in the studio, we have blogger, television personality, podcast host, YouTuber, not an influencer, but kind of an influencer. Here to do what he does best, we're going to talk about hot gossip. Perez Hilton is in the studio. Hey. Hello. I want to just start off by thanking you, A, for having me, and B, for offering me some booze. Of course, always. I was in Vegas for six weeks this summer.

So I am just detoxing from my summer in Vegas, yes. Six weeks? What were you doing there for six weeks? I was doing the Chippendales show. Stop it. I was the special celebrity host. Wait, what? That's amazing.

It was a super fun time. I love Vegas so much. I almost bought a house there, but I didn't. Oh, my gosh. Wait, six weeks in Vegas, I would die. A terrible death. It was amazing because they put us up in a house. I was there with my family.

Oh, that's nice. I got to do my day job and my night job. The only negative at all was I just got into bad habits right away. I didn't go to the gym. And I started to enjoy. Who goes to the gym in Vegas? I know. And I started enjoying all of the fancy restaurants there.

Yeah. So I just was eating and drinking and eating and drinking. And now I don't want to do any eating or drinking. You got it all out of your system. Yes. Now I'm all about the tea. You're having some kombucha. as well. Yes, I've got it. I'm all about the tea and just being as clean as possible.

Hey, you know what? I like to call that balance. Yes. You know, some people have different versions of what they call balance. Mine to me is like getting super wasted and eating all the shit for six weeks and then coming back and just being like super healthy for six weeks. Yeah, exactly. That's balanced to me. Balance might mean something different to other people, but to me you just did exactly what I would have done. We're on the same page. We are totally on the same page. I would have done the exact same thing. So on Sunday, October 14th, from the C.W. and the creator of Jane the Virgin comes the highly anticipated new series, Charmed. Charmed is the incredible new show about the magic of sisterhood and the power of

sisterhood. Two sisters and activist and fun-loving sorority wannabe have the shock of their lives, the untimely and suspicious death of their mother. Then another huge shock shows up at their door, an older sister, a scientist. Mom's been hiding that third sister her whole life. With the death of their mother suddenly their powers are unleashed. Mind reading, freezing time, moving things, with the mind. Imagine if all the women you knew and loved made you more powerful, your very own OG squad, what would that be like? Would you feel like nothing could stop you? If you could have a magic power to make everyday life a little easier, what would it be? Late for a rider's share? Freeze time. If your latte is cold, maybe warm it up with a little flame from the

tip of your finger? Threadbear yoga pants, how about invisibility spell? What about something bigger? If you were a witch eye doctor, how about prescribed gender and colorblind glasses? What if the guy your dating starts ghosting you. How about we send him a ghost? How about that? Each charmed one has a special power, but now they have to figure out how to access and control them. They must find the craft in witchcraft, all while trying to lead a normal life and make the world a better place. Using the power of three, the charmed ones will temper the patriarchal powers that be with the powers of she. Three sisters, they will find the unique magical gifts in themselves and the power in each other. Together they will find their destinies and become the power of

three. These three women come to find they are stronger together and their supernatural powers combined, the charmed ones, will fight evil and protect the innocent. Starring Madeline Mantock, Sarah Jeffrey, and Melanie Diaz. Charmed is casting its spell on the CW. Series premiere Sunday, October 14th after the season premiere of Supergirl only on the CW. I also saw, I said, not an influencer because I saw in your recent Instagram post that you don't like the term influencer. Explain. I liked your explanation, actually. Well, I really just respect and appreciate any person who supports me or follows me on my website or on my podcast or on my YouTube anywhere. I don't think people are sheep.

I give them more credit than that. You know, I don't have influence. I have opportunity. Okay. I have the opportunity to share and people have the opportunity to receive if they want to. Yeah. You know, I am not going to get somebody to vote for a candidate that they don't want to. It's as simple as that.

Yes. That's, I like that. When I was listening to say, I'm like, I try to not call myself an influencer either or like, I would never call myself a celebrity because I'm not. Yeah. But it's like, I totally get what you're saying because I guess you do have an influence on people, but that's not up to you. It's up to them if you influence them or not. Exactly. So maybe they're the influencers.

I don't even like the word power to me. It has negative connotation. And I live and breathe by words. It's what I do every day. So I put a lot of thought into them. And also just, you know, it's just what feels right to me. Like I'm just like anybody else. And everybody that supports me is my friend.

Yeah. And we're just having fun. Yeah. I totally, when you said that, I was like, wow, that's actually a great point. Like, and then somebody said to you like, oh, so you pick and choose what you post on Instagram for paid posts. You're like, no, I'll do it all. I have three kids.

Anything. Which I was like, yes. like do whatever you can like who can judge you for wanting to make money for your family like and whoever does are just mad that they can't get paid for sponsored posts on Instagram you know I mean I said that because I'm a very honest person yeah I love that I don't have a few money in the bank right I have to work for a living because I have three children yeah and my mother who I also financially support yeah that's a lot on these fierce gay shoulders yeah that is a lot I would do the same thing.

I'd be like money in the bank, whatever you got it. Like, you're going to pay me to post this on Instagram. And especially learning from the mistakes of my past. Yeah. I'll give you some advice because you're still a baby. I would love that. And this is the same for anybody, right? When you're in the thick of it, you assume that the future is always going to be like it is now.

Yes. And it isn't always. For example, I really want to be doing what you've done. I really want to be doing TV. You know, I appreciate my platforms, and you can accomplish a lot. And I've done TV in the past, but I've not done anything steadily. My dream is to do anything, whether it be a talk show, a game show, a reality show, whatever, consistent. Because look at the Kardashians.

They are who they are today because they keep that mothership going. They make more money selling the makeup and whatever crap they're trying to hawk on us. But it's the TV show that keeps everything else going. It's true. So one of the biggest regrets was, you know, I used to host the Bad Girls Club reunion specials. Yeah. And then there came a point in my career where I decided, you know what? I want to stop doing things how I've been doing them and being less of a douchebag.

Yeah. I love that. I want to grow up and, you know, words matter. Yeah. As I just mentioned a couple of minutes ago. So I didn't feel right being associated with a TV show that was all about women fighting. Yeah. Very violent.

So I quit. Yeah. Just to clarify that because some people thought I was fired. I was not fired. I was not fired. But I do regret quitting now because I was like, you know what? Being on TV is, and actually this is one of the other lessons, right? Now that I've been around 14 years, it's important to stop judging the work.

Don't judge things. Just because you might think something is lame, that doesn't mean that others might not enjoy it. For example, I was on that Bravo Millionaire Matchmaker Show. Yes. Oh, my gosh, you were? Patty had asked me to do it a long time ago. I turned her down because I'm like, oh, that show is so fake. It's so lame.

It's so cheesy. And I'm genuinely looking for love. Right. And then I had like a total reawakening and changing of my approach to everything. And I hit her back up and I was like, hey, does the offer still stand? And she said yes. And it ended up being a very positive experience. Yeah.

See, other things can come from it. You don't have to just be like tunnel vision like, nope, I'm looking for love. This is, because other things can come from that and you can meet people and you can network in that way too. It was basically an infomercial because. She sent me up on a blind date, and I ended up knowing the guy. Stop. Yes. And there was zero chemistry.

So the whole episode was just like, what are you looking for in a guy? Well, what are you looking for in a guy? Well, this man and just getting to show who we are. That's so funny. I mean, 14 years, like you've been, I remember, like, I used to follow you back in the day. And I always remember because I have a very offside sense of humor. So I always thought your stuff was funny just because I could see the humor. And I didn't.

I wasn't like, oh, you're super offensive. I was like, ha ha, that's funny. Like, because I have like a weird, you know, like, juvenile and young. And I don't, yeah. And I'm like, I took it for what it was. Thank you. And I could see how like, celebrities know also, you know, what they're involved in and that people. You would think.

But at the end of the day, you know, this is the thing about artists, a musician or an actor, they're hyper sensitive people. Yeah. They don't want to hear, oh, I don't like that song. They just want to hear everybody likes their song. Yeah. So saying something as simple as, oh, that song. is not for me, they're going to get upset by that. They're like, oh, you should have just kept that

to yourself or this? Like, I don't want to hear that. And you know what? Now, in 2018, I feel like I've really found my center because after I decided, you know what, I want to stop doodling them photos. I want to stop giving people stupid nicknames. I went that total 180. And my mantra for a couple of years was WWOD. What would Oprah do?

Oh, my God, yes. Because I love Oprah. I do. What would Ellen do? w w i am an otheist i love ellen as well yeah but i like Oprah better i think everybody does and you know then i kind of got lost in that and to an authentic place right i'm not Oprah clearly and now I'm just comfortable being me and understanding that not everybody's going to like me I don't need everybody to like me I made a change I do what I do now because like Maya Angelou says when you know better you do better And I'm just trying to be the best I can.

And you'll probably still learn for the next 14 years. And I still make mistakes. Yeah. And that's the thing is like it's so crazy to be in a world that you're in over a time where you're growing and evolving as a person and having everybody along that journey with you, like judging and being there and like coming out on top with you or just like failing with you or just certain things that you're doing. People are always there with you along the way.

I'm so appreciative because I have been around 14 years. So there are people that have been following me for a long time. and they're like family to me. Yeah. Can we just take a pause for a second? Pause. I see this thing and I'm looking at your face. Your face is flawless.

Is this a secret? Does this actually work? I want to find you. You have like perfect skin. Okay. Well, let me just tell you that I, thank you for saying that because I... What is your skincare regime? I hate water.

You don't wash your face? No, I wash my face. I hate drinking water. Oh, I drink tons of water. I don't. Oh, wow. And it's something I wish I did because I know it's like... How do you get your face like that?

Minimal water. Minimal water. A lot of wine. Stop it. Hug your parents every day because it's genetics. Do you go? Do you get the laser? The laser taste?

I did. All right. I can tell. I can tell. Yes. Yes. I got that done for the first time recently. I love how passionate we are.

Well, I was literally, I'd be like, her face looks amazing. That makes me so happy because one, I do a little Botox. Oh, okay. Okay. The Botox two. All right. Two, I do. How old are you?

You don't need to be getting Botox. You still don't need to be getting Botox. I don't get a lot. Give me the hot gossip. I'm never, I'm never up on the hot gossip. Well, the hot gossip, I was like literally glued to my TV right before I came over here because today was the day that Julie Chen announced that she was leaving the talk. And it was such a tease.

They showed a pre-taped video goodbye from her. And they waited until the very last two minutes of the show to air it. Just really getting people to tune in. And it's a double-edged sword. Yeah. It's unfortunate that in a sense she's paying for the sins of her husband. Right. But on the flip side, she is on a women's talk show.

Yeah. Whose audience is women. Yeah. And she is standing by a man whom 12 plus women have accused of sexual assault and harassment. Her husband. Oh, I didn't even know this. This is why I need you because I'm like, I don't know all of this. So it would be hard for her.

I'm just like Big Brother. Yeah. It would be her. The plan for her is to remain on Big Brother for the time being, but she's left the talk and we'll see what happens with Big Brother. I don't think she should lose that job at all. No, she's, like, iconic with Big Brother. Like, it's just like, I, like, can't wait to tune in to see what she's wearing, what her hair looks like. Wait, didn't we talk about that? The one time we met at Spencer and Heidi's Baby Shower, it was before Celebrity Big Brother U.S., and I still wanted to be on the show.

Yes. And we were talking about the rumored names. and I did not know this until after the fact, they asked, they told Spencer he was going to be on it. They were like, pack your bags. And then he ended up not being on it. I know. And they went with somebody else and said, which I don't know who,

but that's so, like, classic, right? I'm guessing they went with Brandy Glanville. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because she was a last minute thing. Edition, yeah. I'm not sure. That's so true. Yeah, I didn't know.

I was like, my name didn't even, like, I didn't even get asked. I didn't get asked either. I was just like, I think we both. like on like that same because I think we both saw it on Twitter our names floating around of like people but let's just make a pact want to be final two if we go into the next no because that people will know no we are not final two wink wink I'm like I can't wink but I don't know I'm not holding out hope that I'll do it this time around when is this one coming I'm recording same around

time around the same time January or February oh that's when it was oh Frigg I know I just Are you doing something January or February? No. I've got no plans. Now, you're doing something. What are you doing then? Big Brother. I'm like, wait, am I?

Do I have big plans? Do you know something that I don't? I could just read people's tone and facial expressions. I'm like, you're hiding something. Oh, my God. No, I promise I'm not. All right, all right. But I got excited that you, like, knew something that I didn't.

I'm like, am I going on Big Brother? Oh, my God. Well, if I can't make it, me first. If not me, then you. And I love that it's only three weeks, right? Three weeks for the filming for... No, it's a little bit longer because also they take you into sequestering first for like three days. So it's basically about an entire month, which is the amount of time that I did when I did the British version.

Yeah, the UK. Okay, who is on your season with you for that? The only other American on my season... Well, there was an American and a half. It was... There was two and a half Americans. It was Michelle. Del Vizage from Rupal's Drag Race.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. This bikini model named Camille, and then Callum Best, who is half American, half British. Hey, guys, let's take a minute when those billable hours start running into your happy hours. There is no time for an outfit change. Ain't nobody got time for that. Rewrite the rules of dressing for the job with Style for Work at Express. These fashion forward pieces are designed to make sinking your professional schedule and personal life easier than ever. Shop style for work at Express and go from your first meeting to last call without compromising your personal style.

Check out Express for all the best dress pants, worktops, blazers, and dresses, newest looks for work, that upcoming job interview, or just refresh your closet so you can dress for the job that you want. And even better, you can shop more sizes and more styles than ever. Women's sizes go from double zero to 18 at Express.com and in select stores. shop style for work now at your nearest express store or on express.com and get $25 off when you spend $100 on anything at Express using code, Caitlin, in store, or 4841 at express.com. That's promo code Caitlin in store or 4841 at express.com. Some exclusions apply. Okay, tell me about your podcast. Do you do obviously, like, people probably just, is it once a week? It's once a week. Yeah, tell me everything. Well, I love my podcast because I think it's different than others.

Usually when you have podcasts, you have like-minded individuals talking about their shared common interests. Right. Mine is the opposite of that. It's a straight dude from West Virginia, who's a pop culture junkie as well. He works in radio. He's a DJ, but we could not disagree more on almost everything. Which makes for great content. Yeah, but it's not put on either.

Yeah. No, it's super authentic. Yes. No, I like that. I like that. His name's Chris Booker. and he makes me better. Oh, that's so, and vice versa.

Oh, clearly. Yeah, duh. He refuses to accept when I'm right, which is most of the time. Right. That's so funny. I actually like that because then you can have good banter. People like to hear different opinions, too. Like, people...

It's called the Perez Hilton podcast with Chris Booker right here on Podcast One. Oh, that was such a good radio voice. You could also check it out at perezpod.com. Do you have your vanity URL? No. You should buy that. for Offthevine.com. Oh, I do?

Oh, okay. Well, I've Caitlinbristow.com. All right. That works, too. Okay. I'm like, I'm like looking at my little, I call her my Franager, because she's my friend manager. Oh, Franager. We friends, but she also my manager.

I don't know why I just talk like that. Wait, I'm like, back to my skin. Wait, but this thing, right, what? That's what I want to tell you. Is that from Nurse Jamie? No, but she has things like this. So it's like a, it's not a jade roller, but it's a rose. cord roller and you put it in loving up your face you have rose quartz in my bedroom are you weird with germs no do you want to just give

yourself a quick roll and see how nice that feels what is it supposed to do yeah it's so it like under eye things it's this no it's the same thing I got it from my girlfriend in Vancouver um who does glow so Laris Laboratories yeah it's nice and cool I know so it's a naturally cold stone and it breaks up fluid and like small moves out your skin and it decreases puffiness and it just like... Are you OCD about it? Do you do this all the time now? I'm a bit of a freak. Does this give you wrinkles? Or does it take them away? It like

pulls your skin out. I can't tell if it's this are the Botog. I'm like, I can't feel it because my face is so frozen. I'm all about being honest. You got just the right amount of Botox. Thank you. Not too much. Just the right amount. I would I just thought you got a good facial. Thank you. My girl

that does my Botox is very conservative. because I never want to change the way I look. But it's so funny because people always say, like, you look so different from like when you were on The Bachelor. I'm like, duh, I had dark hair. I was a little chubs. I didn't have Botox, so my brows were like real down. Now they're lifted.

I got microbladed brows. I learned how to do my makeup. Of course I look different. Oh, yeah, you want one of those? Oh, yeah, we will totally get you one. What do you think of a new bachelor, the Colton guy? I'm not sure about that choice for Colton to be the Bachelor. not sure about it because of a couple

reasons. One, I don't think he knows what the hell he wants. I think he's young and confused. How old is he? Do you know? 26. That's a little young, yeah. I'm not saying that's too young. I'm not saying you don't know who you are at 26, but you don't. I didn't at least. But to me,

he just seems confused like he doesn't know exactly what he wants. How many years has it been now since you were on the show? Three. Three. Can we get really real? of course all right did you just like this guy he's 26 he's probably doing it just to be on TV I would think of course he is all right so did you sign up just to be on TV of course I did oh I love the honesty oh that was like like nobody I think there's maybe like one in every 25 of the people who go on that actually are like I really am looking for love maybe maybe one all right and anyone who

says anything different is lying like there is I love the honesty yeah no it does warm my heart every once in a while when you have people that work out from the show. Because you're hopeful. Like I went in hopeful. I was like, that would be a bonus if I actually found love out of this. But I didn't think I was like, there's no way.

When I went on The Bachelor, I was like, I'm going to like build some sort of brand. I didn't even know what you could do with Instagram or like, you know, I didn't even know what it was going to be. But I was like, I'll do something with it and have a voice and a platform.

Well, that's just a highly rated TV show. Right. And so I was like, you know, like, and who knows it's high risk, high reward. I could have went on and been like the drunk. girl because all my friends and family were like you're going to be the drunk girl and I was just like yeah I could be like oh and so even the drunk girl like that Corinne is done pretty well for herself killing it killing it it's so funny and that's that's exactly right like I just didn't know the

power of Instagram or what was going to come from it but I was open to whatever I'm like a very fearless person I'm like whatever happens happens I don't care and so I went into it being like man if I fell in love that would be such a bonus but went into it you know people don't realize though it's a really hardcore show it's long i didn't realize yeah long is the filming like two months yeah it was 12 weeks 12 that's three months it was 12 weeks and it was i went back to back so i was on the bachelor for nine weeks because i got sent home and then i did the bachelorette for 12 wow and you could not use your cell phone when you were on the show right that's just that long that's a long as time i went nuts for the first little bit and then i went nuts thinking about having my phone back because i got so

used to living life without it, and it was a beautiful thing. Were you able to watch TV? As the Bachelorette, yes. Okay. But not as a contestant. I see. Did you go on the Bachelorette to find love? The Bachelorette?

Yes. Well, that point I was more open to, like, actually finding somebody. Like, at that point... Well, the odds are better because you have all these men to choose from. And I was like, okay, like, I didn't... You know, I was just... I feel like 27 was a really pivotal time for me with, like, figuring out who I was into 28, and then I went on the show at 29.

And I feel like I went in at a... time where I was like had a lot more self-love than I did through my 20s. I like I felt like I was in a better place to actually be open. I had thick thicker skin for like hate that came from being on a show like that. So I felt like pretty good going into it also very aware that I was going into it to like be on TV but open to love. A lot of people listening are clearly fans of the Bachelor universe and I would imagine a lot of your listeners are female. I would think maybe some of those might want to be on the show when you applied if you remember is there anything you did that you think got you booked on the show no because to be honest when i think

about what i did it wasn't a lot like my girlfriend like filled out all this paperwork and you didn't fill it out yourself no and then it and then she sent it in and then she was like you need to get like eight photos i did a video okay so they're like you have to do eight photos what did you say in the video or anything, nothing, that you was like, I was trying to promote myself for Juan Pablo's season. So I was like, I know he has a daughter. Like, I think I'd be a great mom.

Like, I wasn't even, I don't even know if I was being, like, really authentic, to be honest with you. Like, I think I was, like, trying to push myself for Juan Pablo. They just cast a pretty girl. And I honestly, no. And then I did it, I danced my whole life.

So I did, like, a dance. And I, like, it was kind of funny about it. I like that. Okay, there you go. So that was the one thing I think. could stand out. There you go. So they actually didn't even call me back.

It took a year. And they were like, we kept you on file and we want you for Chris Sol's season. Actually, it was between Chris Souls and Ari for when I went on The Bachelor. And so I was, they're like, who do you want it to be? And I said, Chris Souls, I was like, I grew up in a really small town. I have a thing for farmers. I like big trucks. Is there any update with him?

I keep looking. He's been in a lot of legal drama. A lot of legal drama. No, I just, all I see when I look it up is that it just keeps getting pushed back. So I don't know. Every time I'm like, what is happening? Like, and he's put, like, social media. Like, is he even doing it?

I don't follow him on social media. I don't follow him either. Yeah, so I'm like, I don't know what he's doing. The only bachelor dudes I think I, dude, I think I follow her is Sean Lowe. Oh, yeah, he's funny. Because we did the worst cooks show together on the Food Network. And didn't Chris Solz do that? Did he do that as well?

Yeah, I think he did. Well, not with me. I did it with Sean. I think more resemblance with you and Sean Lowe. Oh, stop it. No, but actually. A Cleo. Oh, that's a, I think, I think, I could, yes, he's a true gem.

Oh, such a, especially because you could, I could tell he's super religious and super Republican. Yeah. But not obnoxious religious or obnoxious Republican and kept that all to himself. Yes. And he's open to other people and other beliefs. And I just, yeah, I really like, I love Catherine too. I just think they're like. He's a dreamy, dreamy one. Yeah, he, they're just good peeps, you know, like that's what I'm looking for in my imaginary bachelor somebody nice yeah tell me would you go on the bachelor if they did yeah yeah you should be the bachelor just like I'll sell anything I'll do any show yeah oh yeah it's so funny because until people like really are into they do the same thing you know what I mean they um they don't think

they would ever do a gay bachelor you don't think so they haven't even had a gay couple on dancing with the stars much less they're going to do a gay bachelor on ABC can we talk about dancing with the stars for a second yeah I've wanted to be on forever. I've met them. I've met them repeatedly in nothing. I had a contract signed. I had a contract signed. Wait, and what was the story somebody blocked

you? Mike Fleiss, who's the creator of the bachelor, blocked me. But here we have grocery store Joe going on. Don't give me so. Oh, you're coming in at a good time. But we would still do it if us. But if you want

me. We should be on the same season. We should start our own. I'll kick your butt. I was talking to Becca, who the recent bachelor's up. I hate this, though, because you just mentioned earlier, you're a professional dancer. You've always danced. I have not. But I am the spirit of that show. I have zero dance experience.

I love to dance, but I have no dance experience. Melissa Rycroft. Yeah. She was a professional dancer. She won the, like, everything. Oh, yeah. Who's the girl. The figure skaters always win.

All those people. The dancers always win. I never, but I've never done ballroom dancing. If you know how to dance. dance professionally. You know how to ballroom dance. I do have rhythm. I will get myself that. I've got rhythm. I could actually, I think I would really, even though I would be fierce and fabulous and like really do it up with the costumes, I don't know how I would do because like I've seen

videos of trying to learn dances hard. And the whole counting thing, that, it just, I was never good with math and the counting thing. It's like the one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, two, two, three, four. And then I get, and then I would get stressed out, like, trying to keep the number where it's supposed to be. I'm like, Some choreographers teach by noises I'm much more of like that Like I'll have to work with somebody Like I'm imagining I'm on doing this show

Clearly not happening anytime soon I do the same thing Kaye do you know who Thai I can't think of his last name right now He was a judge on like so you think you can dance He was in like a theater I can't remember Oh my God this is actually now a stupid story

Because I don't remember his last name But he was on so you think you dance He was a judge He's like really like a big time dancer guy but I remember going to workshop when I was like 15 and he pulled me out of like a group of so many dancers and made me be in the ultimate group

and he was like I went up to thank him after and he was like you look like a prettier Christina Aguilera and I was like oh my God and then he was on so you think you can dance and that's the show I always wanted to be on so you think that's what I thought I would go on either big brother or so you think you dance I ended up

the Bachelorette somehow but that was always the show I wanted to go on and now I'm like dancing is a son of a bitch, we should totally go on together. I know. I need to do dancing with the stars and have a partner that can make me look better. If I'm doing... That's what they're there for.

Yeah, if I'm doing so you think you can dance by myself, I wouldn't make it past the first talk. You wouldn't even get on TV. Yeah. I don't even think I would. Those dancers are incredible. Yeah. That's so funny. Yeah, I remember hearing or reading something that you were maybe going to be on or like

there is rumors or someone talking or... I don't know what it is. I mean, they've even had Andy Dick on. And Andy Dick is super problematic. Yeah. If they had Andy Dick... dick on. I mean, I'm a father of three. Yeah. No, you'd be great on it. And I think maybe sometimes people might think certain things of me, but I'm the most professional person. And also, like,

I'm not going to be leaking any secrets. Yeah. I don't want to start drama with people on set. Well, because you have to protect your brand, too. Well, also, I want to keep working. Yeah. You can't behave like that and keep working. I mean, maybe you can. Do you think that's what they're afraid of? Maybe. I don't know what the reason is. They've never really given me a solid reason. It's all politics, don't you think? I guess. I was also supposed to do Amazing Race. They sequestered me and my podcast co-host. They even took it so far as to send us the contract and put vaccines in my body.

We were going to go. And then they're like, it's not happening. Oh, my gosh. I feel like they just did that to like somebody else from Big Brother. Whoa. That's such a tease because then you get in the mindset and you're like, let's go. And then they're like just getting by. I had never watched Amazing Race before.

And I'm such a winner. Yeah. And obsessive. I started to watch every, I watched 20 plus seasons of that damn show. Just to be like mentally prepared. I was taking notes. I was going to win. We were going to win.

You're like if anyone does their research, it's me. Yeah. Oh my gosh. Now if I ever to do it in the future, I'm not going to win because I'm not going to go back and watch 20 seasons to take notes. I'll do it and I'll be like, I'll half ass it. Yeah, absolutely. I think they know who they want to win at the beginning of these things anyways.

Like, I'm like, did they know they wanted? me to eventually be the bachelor's one day? Like, is that why they're like buttered me up? Like, I think they all just have like something at the beginning of not that real. Hello. Exactly. That's what I'm like, I don't know. Hey, Caitlin. This is Tiffany. I love the show and I look forward to the confession booth each week. So I wanted to confess that I listened to you, talk about that mattress, Felisa. And I ordered the queen size and I cannot believe how legit this is. I can finally sleep through the night and it's all thanks to you. So thank you, girl. I wish I would have filmed taking out of the

box because it's the coolest, most satisfying thing ever. So thank you again for recommending the Lisa mattress and for all that you do. Love you in the show. Bye. Oh, I love that. Tiffany got a Lisa bed. That's so cool. A mimosa to toast to you. And now everyone needs to get a Lisa bed. And take the hashtag Off the Vine Challenge. First, go to Lisa.com slash Vine. You get up to $235 off the price. That's craziness. Depending on what mattress you pick and free shipping. So go pick a mattress and order it. You've heard me talk about Lisa mattress, three great layers of foam, 300,000 happy Lisa owners, and you can try it for 100 nights risk-free. We need our sleep, I like eight to nine hours. Quality sleep makes the difference. Let me tell you. So go online and

get a Lisa mattress and then call me 931-413-9674 and let me know how much you love it. You can tweet me about your Lisa using hashtag Off the Vine Challenge. I can give you a shout out on my podcast, call out your Twitter handle, whatever you want. Let's see who leaves the best message and sends the best tweet. Picks of you jumping on your Lisa, you on your Lisa drinking mimosas, check the podcast description for all details, and I'm posting all your phone calls on the podcast one app, Lisa.com slash Vine. A great deal on a great mattress.

931-413-9674. So call me maybe. We'll be back with more Off the Vine with Caitlin Bristow. Alexa isn't the only one with breaking news. Make sure to hang around at the end of this podcast for the latest breaking headlines on the AP News Minute. Hey guys, if you like my show, then you're going to love The Good Life with Stevie and Sazon on podcast one. The YouTube and Blogging Power Couple warm hearts, inspire minds, and captivate listeners through intimate stories and powerful conversations with people who are making an impact from major celebrities to everyday people. Check out The Good Life with Stevie and Sazon every Wednesday.

on podcast one or wherever you get your favorite podcasts. Now back to Off the Vine with Caitlin Bristow. You put me on your worst dress list once and I felt honored. Oh, well, you also had a moment last night, or that was last night. Yes. Whenever. You also had a moment at the Emmys. I did.

I did. Trying to not be time specific. No, it's fine. People know that I record whenever and put it out whenever. But yeah, I had a definite moment at the Emmys. And I was like, well, like. But I'm old school. I think any press is good press.

I know. I hear what you're saying. And I'm like, it's funny because I didn't even like, I was like, am I walking the carpet? They're like, Caitlin, you're not up for any Emmys. Your season was three years ago. You're lucky to be here. But I was like, okay, I'll make my own press out of this. Busted my own zipper. Just kidding. Just kidding. Yeah. It was so funny though. But yeah, I was like, I totally deserve to be on your worst dress list. Some people take that very seriously. And I'm like, it's just fashion. It's just. silly. It's like Joan Rivers. I'm like, there, it's nothing deep about it. You should, I was honored. I remember peeing, being like, it's the wine. I remember someone being like, oh my God, and I was like, cool. Like, I got noticed. I used to read his website all

the time. Now I'm on the worst dress. Cool. Like, I made a list and I totally deserve to be there because when you come off a show that you were just chewed up and spat out and like you don't understand the world. I was like, what am I going to wear to the red carver of the CMAs? I'm like looking through my closet of old bachelor. dresses that I like, you know, I wore this summer dress on a date on the Bachelorette or Bachelor. I'm like, perfect. Like, I don't know that people get styled in hair and makeup. I didn't know any of that.

So I was like, went to like Aldo and got myself a couple like chunky rings. Actually, since you brought that up, so you went to the Emmys. Yeah. Just like on your own kind of? Sterling vineyards. So that's the wine that I am gulping up today. So they sent you as their guest. Yes.

So, because, you know, I'm a guy. and I'm low maintenance. But I love dressing up and having fun. But girls, they get full glam. That ain't cheap. Full glam. So Sterling Wine, paid for your glam? Well, also, at the same time, we're in the social media biz where you're like,

you want to do a little trade skis? You can get free hair and makeup? Oh, of course. I'm not a girl. I don't, I would, wow. Interesting. You could for sure reach out to, like, clothing. I'm sure you do.

Like, talkically. Yeah. Actually, I want to. Oh, my God, I got so excited because your audience is predominantly female. Actually, I should have mentioned this on my, well, I'm giving it to you. What? Maybe I didn't because my podcast co-host would make fun of me. I've been having this itch.

I just really want to wear a dress on a red carpet. Oh, my gosh, you should. So if anybody that's with fashion wants to, let me borrow. I don't even have to keep it because why do I'm going to keep a dress. Yeah. Let me borrow a fierce dress and I will wear it at a red carpet. Email me, DM me. Do you know how to rock heels?

Can you walk in heels? Hell yeah. I went to this event on Saturday and I wore platform boots that were like seven inch platforms. Oh, my high five. I almost broke an ankle, but I made it work. Well, yeah, that's the crazy pain. They're heavy. Yeah. The platform boots. Pain is beauty. Yeah, a stiletto would probably be easier, I'd imagine. Yeah. Oh, absolutely. Oh, my gosh. That is amazing. I want to wear a dress for somewhere. I don't know. I think you should. I'm trying to go to the next event. I was inspired. I saw that guy from Queer Eye. Jonathan. He always rocks like, yeah. I know. And I was I'm jealous.

Like, he's having so much fun with his fashion. Oh, my God, you should grow up your hair, too. I've always had fun with my fashion. Yeah. Like, I've always, like, what I'm wearing out. Yeah. But I've always had fun with my fashion and kind of, like, a guy way. Like, I would just love to wear something fierce for a woman.

Oh, you absolutely should. You could totally rock it, too. And I'll lend you one of my scrunchies. You can wear scrunchy in your hair and I'm with the dress. I know that doesn't go, but denim scrunchy. Are you selling these? Oh, yeah. Are these yours crunchy?

Yes. How fun. I'm obsessed with scrunchies. Crunchies, I always have been, and I'm trying to, like, do, like, a fall collection right now. We've got, like, a faux leather one coming out. Denim. Oh, it's... My daughters could wear it.

I will so send your daughters. Oh, tell me all about your kids. Like... I have three. Kate, how do you do it? How do you be a single... I don't sleep much? I was going to say, how many hours of sleep do you get in?

I get about, on average, five hours a night. Okay. That's... Last night, I got less. Yeah. It just depends. On the weekend, I try to get more. Yeah.

What was your thought? Like, how are you? Have you always just wanted kids in a family and you're like, I can do this? It wasn't a question of if. It was more a question of when. And for me, that when was I had to make a risk or gamble or just decide, okay, by me having kids now, my career might suffer. Am I okay with that? Because in many ways, I'm also, you know, I'm playing the woman's role.

I'm father and mother. I'm good cop and bad cop. And I cannot work, even though I still work crazy, I used to work even crazy hours. So thankfully, I don't think things have suffered. And I just do more. I work actually probably even harder than before now. Yeah, because now you have purpose and you're like, what was I doing before? Kids are amazing and magical, but what they don't tell you, I did not have anxiety before children.

Yeah. I was lucky to live in anxiety-free life. Wow. Now I have real anxiety and I cannot stop obsessively thinking about the future or money. Yes. Yeah, because you're just like, you're always thinking about the what ifs as a parent, I feel. I mean, I started to have a bit of anxiety after being on TV, but I can't even imagine like the anxiety that parents must feel because I know how crazy I am about my dog. And then I imagine that time seeing it by like infinity, you know?

Just, you know, knowing like I have a. high operating costs. So I need to make a lot every year to pay for my kids to go to school, to pay for my mom, to pay for insurance. I live in California to pay for property taxes. Oh my God, I'm lucky to own my house. But it's insane how much property taxes here. That's one of the reasons why I was even tempted to move full time to Vegas. There's no state tax. That's Tennessee. That's where I live. There's no state tax. No. No. That's nice. Yeah, it is. California. But you just spend so much time here. Yeah. I, that's well, I'm like, I live in Tennessee, but I'm like, I'm out here a lot, but...

How often are you in L.A.? I'm usually here, like, at least once every month or two. Okay. Yeah. Not that often. Well, I mean, for how far it is from Nashville, that's kind of a trek. But, yeah, it's... I mean, I just praise you for what you do.

I love it. You're so fun, too, like, your videos with them, and they're, like, just the sweetest, and it's all very candid, and I love when you dance with them, and it's just very sweet, yeah. And my favorite moments are just, you know, us. Now, especially that my youngest is almost a year old, she's a real active participant now and can play back with her brother and sister and us just laughing over silly stuff. Yeah. If my daughter, the middle one, burps, and then all of us just like, like, you don't do that, but then we just laugh. Yeah, it's just fun. Yeah, you do such a good job. And I mean,

just good for you for balancing all of that lifestyle. You know, whatever balance means to you, But that's your balance. You know, balance. There's this famous saying, and I might butcher it, but there's like five things in life. Family, work, romance, fun, and health or something like that. You can have three out of the five at any time, but you can't really have all five at the same time. Nobody does. Like something has to suffer always.

Like, I don't date. I would make time for dating, but I don't really have many friends. or spend that much time with the ones that I do. Yeah. I don't have the time. Yeah. Well, that's the thing. It's not like you don't want to.

Yeah. You're just like there's only 24 hours in the day and you need to sleep. I'm not how I used to. Like the last thing I want to do now is go out during the week. Yeah. I just want to, because I go to bed. I try to go to bed early. I wake up so early.

Yeah. Because you want to be on your A game as a parent, too. Yeah. And then your priorities are straight. That's what you're saying. I still just want to sleep. So I only basically just have Saturday night to go out. And even then I just want to sleep.

Because then you're like, now is my time to catch up on the sleep. No, I hear you. That's what I was thinking about, like, being a parent, and I'm like, you must have a good confession for me. As a parent. Oh, well, I have a confession, but I didn't have a parental one. Oh, I was just trying to segue and be a good host.

I don't know. Do whatever you want. Well, this is that right. Well, are we going to play the game where if I tell you mine, you tell me yours? Of course. All right. I'll let you pick because I have two good ones. Okay.

I like to come prepared. Okay. We can both share either the most famous celebrity we've hooked up with. Oh. Or the craziest place we've ever hooked up at. Let's go with a celebrity. Okay. All right.

Okay. Because this might make news if you have a good one. All right. You're so, yeah. Yeah. I'm always thinking. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The most famous person I've ever hooked up with was, and I consider this hooking up.

John Mayer. Stop! No. Yes. We full on made out. No, you did it! With tongue. No, you did it!

For five minutes. It was New Year's Eve many years ago now. This is so long ago. I'm yelling. I'm yelling! He was still dating Jessica Simpson at the time. He's dated everybody. Heidi Kloom, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Jennifer Aniston, Katie Perry.

He gets around. And it was New Year's Eve. We were in New York City. I had just co-hosted MTV's TV. MTV's New Year's Eve special. Back when it was all about tequila that year, she had a show on MTV. Yeah, love her.

It was my second year in a row doing that. And then we went to this club in Chelsea that doesn't exist anymore called Stereo. They kept it open after hours for us. I was just drinking. I don't know what they were doing. That's all I'm saying. And then all of a sudden, John Mayer just starts tonguing me. Stop.

And Jessica Simpson was so uncomfortable. She didn't know what to do. She started to just cover her face with her hair to pretend that she couldn't see what was happening. And then it was still going on. I'm not exaggerating. Five solid minutes, at least. Then she started rubbing his dick

while John Mayer was making out with me for five minutes. Then he afterwards has his conversation with me about gay porn and name-checking his favorite gay porn start. And by the way, for any of you who may be doubting me, you can YouTube this. He has confirmed this that it happened he's a wacky dude in the best way. He's done stand-up comedy,

and during one of his stand-up comedy sets, he talked about making out with me. You're joking right now. No, you can find it on YouTube. Well, yeah, I guess you can't joke about that. No, you tell me yours now. I'm like, I got nothing. Mine's like, I don't know, Sean Booth from The Bachelor.

No, no, no. Okay, I'll tell you. All right. One time I kissed Benji Madden when I was, like, 21. Oh, all right. That's like my one. And they were bigger than... Yeah, they were...

Yeah, they were... My claim to fame is like, he's now with Cameron Diaz, so there's that. But, yeah, no, that was... What? They're still together? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Oh, my gosh. That is... Yeah, that was... That, nothing compares to yours. And I'm like, I, like, it wasn't, like, full-blown... It was just like... I mean, I would have had full-blown sex with him, but...

Like, I think we were friends. Like, yeah. Actually, I don't think I would have had full-blown sex with him. Because, That was back when I was really fat, and I didn't want to have sex with anybody then. I felt really bad about my story. Yeah, I understand that's, but even if it was John Muir? I wouldn't want to take my shirt off.

I didn't want to. And actually, the next day, maybe, or that month, January of 2008 is when I began my fitness journey. I was like, it's time to stop being a fat for me. I could say that because I was one. You know, I didn't get laid once in 2007. And for a gay dudes, actually now I haven't gotten late since 2016. Oh, geez, get out there. It's hard.

I know. I would, but I work from home. You need to make time. I would. I just don't do the apps. And that's how most gay guys meet on Grindr or Scruff or Tinder or whatever. Hey, if you guys are looking to buy a car, then you're probably familiar with terms like MSRP. You might even know what it stands for, but what does it actually mean?

and the same goes for invoice, list price, dealer price. I feel like it's enough to confuse anybody because all you're really looking for is a price that actually means something. Introducing True Price from True Car. Now you can know exactly what you'll pay for the car that you want, including fees and accessories before you even get to the dealership. True Car dealers will show you the true price on cars like the one you want, all from the comfort of your own home.

And how do you know if True Price is a great price? Well, because True Car shows you what other people paid for that same car that you want and your certified dealers know this so they go ahead and set their true price competitively so they can win your business i love it so when you're ready to buy a new or used car visit true car to enjoy a more confident car buying experience some features are not available in all states i could talk to you all day we should just do a part two or i'll come on your podcast and then we can talk more my co-host is obsessed with the bachelor oh perfect he does a bachelor wrap up on the radio and and is he's watched every every damn season. Oh, perfect. Okay. Well, first of all, I want to do part two with you because I had so many more things in my notes

and we ran out of time. But you're just, I love that you're an open book. I love that you're honest. I just love that you are who you are. And you're very, like, candid with your, I mean, you consider them family, your followers and your friends. So I just appreciate you for who you are. And thank you for coming on the podcast.

I'm going to send you a roller for your skin. And my last thing is, oh, yes, scrunchies for the kids. And my last question to you is, do you have? have any dad jokes for me. Dad joke? Do you have a dad joke? I didn't know I had to come up with a dad joke. The other thing they asked me was...

The can you nots. Yeah, I have that. Well, that'll have to be for part too, because I know. I keep looking at the clock. I'm like, no, I want to do like another hour. I don't have a dad joke. Do one can you not. Okay, give me your best can you not celebrities.

Can you not? Can you not apologize for everything? Stand behind what the fuck you say. That is a great point. That is a really great point. Yeah. Mine was like, can you not name your kid like after food? Just because you're a celebrity.

But that's what all part two. All right. Here's my dad joke for you. Okay. Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? No. Terrible service. No.

I put it. Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Oh, great food. Terrible atmosphere. I ruined it. I didn't watch the Emmys, so I like it. Tell us everywhere where we can find you. Your website, your podcast.

My podcast here, right on Podcast 1, the Perez Hilton podcast with Chris Booker, or you could also listen to it at Perezpodcast.com, which just takes you back to Podcast 1. Love it. Or you can also follow me on YouTube. I have two YouTube channels. I'm freaking busy. Perez Hilton is for everything, pop culture, entertainment, and I do a daily recap video. I do musical performances and more.

And then the Perez Hilton is for my kids, my mom, who people love, me talking about wellness, like sharing some of the tips and tricks I've learned and everything like that. On Instagram, on Snapchat, on Tumblr, I'm everywhere. I am nonstop. You're everywhere. It's exhausting. But I have to be because let me tell you something. I'll leave you with these parting words. In this day and age, you might luck your way into success or something might cause you to have success, like being on The Bachelor.

but the only way to sustain success is to work super hard. You can't be, I don't know, a single successful person that is lazy. Yeah, I hear that. Don't be lazy. You can't be lazy. Don't be a lazy assler. You will be poor. We'll leave you with that all.

Caitlin Bristow. I'll see you next Tuesday. Thanks for listening to Ospa Vine with Caitlin Briscoe. Get new episodes every Tuesday exclusively on podcast1.com, the podcast one app, and subscribe on Apple Podcast. Who's not with OTV? Sponsors for this week's Off the Vine are CW's Charmed. Check out the Charmed Series premiere Sunday, October 14th on the CW Network. Lisa, visit Lisa.com slash Vine and get up to $235 off and free shipping.

Express, go to express.com and use code Caitlin in store or 4841 online for $25 off when you spend $100. And True Car. Visit True Car for a more confident. car buying experience.