Perfect Match's Chloe Veitch: Netflix, Phone Sex, & What’s Next
00:00Okay, let's talk about the original enemies to lovers story.Before all of our reality TV couples, before the rom-coms, we binge,there was Elizabeth Bennett and Mr. Darcy in pride and prejudice.And Audible has just dropped a brand new original that will have you completely hooked, I am.It's not just any audiobook.This is a full cast performance.So Marisa Abella, you might know her from industry,brings Elizabeth Bennett to life.
00:25And Harris Dickinson from Baby Girl and Where the Crawdads Sing is Mr. Darcy.And honestly, the chemistry, you guys, it's everything.Plus, you've got icons like Glenn Close, Bill Nye and Will Polter in the mix.Talk about a dream cast.Now, what I love is how Marissa pulls you right into Lizzie's world, her stubbornness, her wit, her messy family dynamics,and of course, her complicated feelings for Darcy.And with a vibrant new adaptation and original score by Grammy-nominated composer, it just feelsso fresh and modern while still keeping that timeless Jane Austen charm.
00:58So whether it's your first time experiencing Pride and Prejudice or you've read it a million times, you're going to fall absolutely in love all over again.So go listen to Pride and Prejudice now at audible.ca slash Jane Austen.Welcome to Off the Vine with Caitlin Bristow.Get ready to laugh, connect, and feel empowered with Caitlin and her guests as they sip wine,lots of wine and get candid they say vulnerability creates connection so save the highlight reel forinstagram because when we're among vinos there's no filter it's time to unwind here's your hostkately bristow this episode of off the vine is brought to you by talkspace to match with a licensedtherapist today go to talkspace.com slash vine to get a hundred dollars off your first month and show
01:55your support for the show.Starbucks, today's episode is brought to you by Starbucks ready to drink coffee.Tune in to moments that matter with the uplifting boost of StarbucksMoca Frappuccino chilled coffee drink.It's so yummy.Available now online or wherever you buy groceries.And Modern Fertility.Right now, Modern Fertility is offering my listeners $20 off their fertility test when you go to
02:18modernfertility.com slash off the vine.Hello.Hi, how are you?I'm good, how are you?I'm so good.I'm so excited to talk to you.Okay, I, my producer Alicia, who we were just talking to, she tells me all the time how muchI need to watch the perfect match.
02:39She's like, you would love this show because I love the circle, I love Big Brother, I lovereality TV, and she's like, I can't believe you still haven't watched it yet.I haven't had time because I just got back from London for my first time.No way.Yes.I love London welcome, do?It did. It was honestly, I loved every little part of it.I didn't do many like touristy things, but I went to, like I did high tea at Sketch,
03:07which was the most stunning little place I've ever seen in my life.And I did sexy fish because I love sushi.And we did DeSium, the Indian food restaurant.Have you ever been there?Oh, right.I've never been there, but I've been to sexy fish before.Oh, the sushi is insane.it was insane like I oh my gosh I just love good sushi and Nashville where I live did not have
03:31good sushi so having that was such a street but I love London I feel like it is really like a specialplace it is to be honest with you I've literally just come back from America I was there for liketwo and a half months and towards the end of my trip I was so sad to leave America but at thesame time I was like I can't wait to just go home I'm being back here andand seeing, like, it's so cultured without even realizing, because I've lived here for my wholelife. Yeah. And then when going to like a different country like America and then coming back toLondon, you start to really appreciate the big red buses and the phone boxes and just like thetypical corner shops and restaurants. Oh, I've missed it so much. It was so hard to get a chicken
04:16curry out in America. I was fuming. Wait, I'm confused. Do you want a chicken curry in London or in America?in Americabecause when I was over therethey didn't have anyreallyI couldn't find itand it wasn't the samelike I had a chicken curry
04:32in this small restaurantbut it was justit wasn't like Chinese styleyou knowand I just thoughtthat's ityou need to go to Zoomin London
04:42it is the best Indian foodI've ever hadin my whole lifeDeShuneyesokay I'll send youa little picturewhen I get there
04:50I'm like look I'm hereAnd you will thank me, too, because honestly, it was the best chicken curry I've ever had in my whole entire life.Oh, okay.Okay.I hope it meets my standards.It will.I promise you it will.It was very highly recommended from a friend of mine who was like literally an Indian food connoisseur.
05:09And he was like, this is the best place in London.And we went and it truly was.I could talk about this chicken curry for the next hour.But I won't because we have to talk about Netflix, the fact that you were on.three Netflix shows in what like three years is so crazy to me because Netflix is just sucha beast of a obviously network and it's huge and people love it and all the shows are justincredible like the Bachelor franchise which obviously I was part of for so long and stillkind of am at times. It's just been such a the same format that people see dating shows all
05:43the time and like love is blind and all these shows that are coming in on Netflix have justlike shaken things up so much and it's I think people just love to see like,a new format of dating that's like I don't know a little more realistic and not like like honestconversation and talking about you know mental health and important things of what you'dwant to know before you get married living together before you get married like that that stuffkind of like fascinates me but um how how did you film three Netflix shows in three years likehow long were you filming each one to be honest with you the first one was I would say four yearsago.
06:20Toot to handle, it took a year to come out.But by the time we had filmed it and it had aired, it'd already been over a year.Wow.So if my timeline's correct, I would say I got a phone call, I would say at least three monthsafter Toot to Handle aired and was like, we want you to do the circle.And then I'd done the circle and then that was filmed over like three weeks.And then after the circle came.out. I think there was a good, like, year and a half gap where I hadn't, like, I didn't really
06:55have any work from Netflix. I was just doing, like, shows in the UK. Because I've done sevenreality shows now. Holy. Holy. Like, insane. And I'm just, I don't know, I'm at a crossroad.I'm like, what do I want to do now? Oh my gosh. You can do whatever you want with your platform.You have a, you have so many, like, lovely people that want to hear from you and see you, like, I don'tknow, freaking, like, picking your nose and people would be like, yay!Like, it just, you can do whatever on your platform.Oh, no, am I frozen?No, no, no, no.
07:36Hello, can you guys hear me and see me?Yes.See, it's so crazy because before, because I was talking.Yeah.I could see and hear you, but you couldn't see or hear me.You were like, oh, I've lost the back to my earring.I wish I was British.And I was like, can you hear me?
07:54You could hear all that.I could hear everything.I was like, guys, I'm here.Should be ready.We'll see how it goes.And this shit happens all the time.I really do wish I was British, though, because one of my good girlfriends, Emma, she'son Dancing with the Stars.
08:09And just like, the second I hear her voice or even her sense of humor and just like howshe approaches life, I just, I just, I feel like in another lifetime I'm meant to be fullyliving my London life, being British. Yeah, I love being British. But I do love America.I'm moving soon. My visa's in application. So I'm like ready to go. Oh my gosh, where are yougoing to go? I don't actually know yet. I went for like two and a half months to like scope outsome of the areas. I think, I don't know. I'm being told do not go to.like Hollywood areakind of go to like
08:49outsidebut I don't knowI need to ask a few peoplemaybe you could give me some tipsI'll give you some tipsI will if I were you I would move to New Yorkbut I'm not youif you're moving to L.A.
09:02I'll I'll message you separatelyand give you areas to look inbecause I'm actually looking to possiblyget a studio apartment out in L.A. as wellfor recording podcasts so I'm doing researchso I'll help you.Oh my God, yes.please yes okay so back to the crazy reality tv and giving you this platform that's what i'm saying
09:21like you're so funny um i was listening to your podcast with your dad and i was laughing my ass offand i'm like oh my gosh i'm telling you it you don't i hope you know this but you don't have to knowwhat's next because you've already set yourself up for success and you're just you're you're you're likeyou've got that star quality you're you're meant to have a platform you're supposed to like have a podcastyou're a light that's bringing laughter to the world and I love that like it's so funny andyou can do whatever you want now oh thank you I think to be honest with you at the minute I'm justI am constantly questioning myself what's next what's next but I think I'm just my own worstcritic you know I'm just like I'm 24 okay I've done this I've done this I've done this but like
10:08what's next because I came from nothing it's like because it was quickly given to meit wasn't given to me, I worked for it, but because it was, it happened like overnight,a part of my mind's like, what if it's taken away overnight?Which is just stupid, I know, but I think, I don't know, I'm just,that's the human brain, that's the way we've function and that's how we talk to ourselves.But it's, like, to me, I look at everything you've done and I'm like, oh my gosh,imagine just looking in the mirror and be like, I was chosen to go on too hot to handle.Like, I am too hot.
10:41And the fact that you're like, I'm not.not only too hot to handle, but I'm also, like, really funny.Like, that's amazing.But I do the same thing.I'm like, okay, I went on The Bachelor.I was the Bachelorette.Then I won Dancing with the Stars.And then I hosted The Bachelorette.
10:58And then I was on Broadway.And then I'm like, but is that enough?Because what's next?I do the exact same things to myself all the time.And if I have like a little bit of downtime where I'm still doing what I love by podcasting,I still have my wine label.I'm like, oh, it's not enough.And then I have to kind of slap my.
11:14myself in the face a couple times and do like a gratitude journal or look back at everything I've doneand like give myself like a mirror high five like you go girl you look what you've done what do you doto like ground yourself and be like what I've done is so empowering and now I have this voice likewhat do you do because I know you're open and honest about mental health which I love um so what do youdo for yourself to like pump yourself up to be honest with you I also do like the gratitude stuff so I do10 things that I'm grateful for every morning.And then I just, I stick around people that, that lift me up instead of bring me down.Like family, I'm such a big family girl.
11:56And when I'm around my mom and dad, like, they humble me quick.They're like, hello, like, shut the fuck.Sit down and you're having dinner with the family.Okay, big shot.And I'm like, okay.But it's, yeah, that kind of humbles me a little bit.And it kind of reminds me as well that even though obviously me and you have been throughlike this journey of like success in a way of like building ourselves up from the bottom
12:23up, no matter how much money or materialistic things that we ever have,it's like for me it's the fundamentals that I need, like the family and like just being grounded,which is obviously the main points that keep me happy and grateful.So just surrounding myself with family and stuff.I think that's so important.And I think especially when you're in a world of, you know, characters that are real people with real emotions and feelings, but they're on these shows.And they've been selected to be on these shows for different personalities, different purposes, editing as a whole thing.Now you've got this platform of millions of people watching you.
13:06And so you do need to like always remind yourself to stay around the people that.do ground you and humble you because otherwise you can you know go down that joy sucker of thesuck hole of instagram and and see what people think of you and and it's it's kind of hard tonot let that get to you so being around people that actually know you that actually love you thathave your best interest in it's so important did you feel like when you were filming theseshows were you able to contact the people that like humble you the your family or were yousecluded and only with producers it wasit was mainly seclusion with like the producers
13:45and to be honest I'm quite grateful that the shows that I have been onbecause I've been on three nowthe people that I've met through other showsI've always kind of reappeared on the shows that I've been onso I've always had friends that I can talk to like when I'm on a showwhich is great because I'm like this is like the best of both worldsI don't have to make any more friends.That's good.
14:14Yeah, I can just stay in my little bubble.But yeah, I mean, it's always hard when you film in because you've got your kind of work head on.And then it's also at the same time, it's like, what do you actually want to find love?You know?I want to find love.I want to settle down.I want to meet someone.But at the same time, it's like, yeah, but I've got, like, you're not pressured into making a decision.
14:37but I see something earlier on Instagram.It was a quote that someone putand he was a producer, the one that actually put it on his storyand I laughed.What is it?It's an older woman sat down talking to her grandsonand she's like, so I met your granddadon a reality dating TV show
14:54and we had one of two choices.I could either make a decision and marry him there and thenor go through public humiliation.And it was just the most realest thing I've ever heard.All right. If you are a listener of the pod, you already know how much I love therapy and how muchit's done for me. I've been in therapy for 11 years now. And doing the work all myself has madesuch a difference in my life and in my relationships and even in the workplace and everything I do.And I know a lot of people think seeing a therapist or a psychiatrist would be helpful but don't
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16:06including anxiety, depression, substance abuse, relationship issues, and much more.And as a listener of this podcast, you're going to get $100 off your first month with Talkspacewhen you go to Talkspace.com slash Vine.So to match with the licensed therapist today, go to Talkspace.com slash Vine to get $100 offyour first month and show your support for the show. Talkspace.com slash vine.Okay, life moves at you fast. It's honestly wild to me how quickly this year is just flying byactually the last two years. And sometimes I feel like I can't keep up. But luckily, Starbucksready to drink coffee is there to deliver an uplifting boost that helps you tune into the
16:43moments that matter wherever you are and whatever you have going on. I love starting my dayout with, you know, a little coffee, little meditation, but I usually need a little boost in theafternoon as well. So lately I've been loving having Starbucks ready to drink coffee on hand.It's so convenient. I love convenience and it's really good. Their bottled frappuccino,chilled coffee drink is inspired by Starbucks Cafe Favorites and comes in four delicious flavors.So mocha, vanilla, caramel and coffee.My favorite is the vanilla right now, but my panel switches.All of them are really yummy.
17:17And whether I'm in the mood for that bevy or I want a nitro cold brew, they have so manygood options for whatever I'm feeling, especially when I'm at home recording a pod like I amright now.Definitely needs something I can just grab from the fridge to give me that little boost.Starbucks coffee ready for right now, shop the full lineup online.in store or wherever you buy groceries.I mean, it's just such a unique situation because you have to make TV.And so you have to, you know, do what the producers tell you.
17:49And there's some things you have to do and say.But also you're a real person who's actually trying to find love and make TV.And it's not something that you, like, grew up doing.You're not like, oh, I know how to make a TV show.So you're kind of just going along for the ride as well where, and I talk about this a loton my podcast where the producers of The Bachelor can be quite manipulative. But I've heard on othershows, it just depends. Did you feel like you got to really portray yourself in the light thatyou would want to? Or do you feel like you had to kind of play their little game as well?
18:18To be honest with you, every show that I've been on, they have been so understanding of like who I amand my brand. Because I've seen other people that have gone through that journey of not beingbetrayed the right way or being put into certain situations that they didn't necessarily askto be in and they had to make that decision in front of millions of people.I mean, in the real world, none of this stuff would ever happen.Of course.So it's like no one could ever know what they would do in that situation because it doesn'thappen in real life.
18:51We're not prepared for this.We don't get taught at school.Oh, if you're on a show and your ex walks in and you've just found a new love interest,who are you going to choose?It's like, I don't know.until I'm in that situation.While everybody's watching,it's not just like who are you going to choose.
19:07It's who are you going to choose in front of millions of people.Yeah.We're then going to have opinions and it's a lot.And I haven't,okay, so I haven't watched,but I do know that,and spoiler alert for anybody watching or listening,I do know that you did end up with Shane
19:23at the end of Perfect Match,who I knew from Love is Blind,but it didn't work out.Do you two still talk?Are you still friends?because he's someone that I always saidwas misunderstood or heI don't think he got like
19:35the best edits sometimesand I feel like this stuff has been so hard on himyeah I meanthe one thing that I love about shameis that he never meansto do anyone harmlike he is actually such a sweetheartbut with everyone
19:53there's always red flagsand I feel likesometimes peoplerecognize those red flags and then kind of expedite it for their own benefit of TV.And I just really hope that from Perfect Match he was seen in a different light and peoplestart to understand him a little bit more. I know that, I don't know, that we had some really big,big, busty arguments on that show and I know that every, probably every person on that casthad an argument with Shane at some point. But, I mean, it wasn't.
20:29the severity of the argument that was the red flag.I think it was just a very high-pressurized situation.And some people just, I don't know.I don't know how to explain it.Like, he doesn't mean any harm.Yeah, I know what you mean.And I get that sense from him that, like, he reminds me of, like, a little puppy or something.Like, he doesn't mean, he does harm, but he doesn't realize he's doing it.
20:57And it's not intentional.Yeah.Yeah, I know what you mean.Yeah.There's so many, you know, couples that claim to be perfect matches.Dom and Georgia won.Joey and how do you say her name?Carousel.
21:12Carousel.Carousel got engaged.Are they still together?Or is anyone still together?No one's, no one's together from the show.Like, it was no one.And I was really shocked.I was really shocked at the end.
21:26But, I mean, it's just...It's just life, you know, so many people that aren't together on the show are getting so much hate from people.Really?In my head, I'm just like, I'm so glad that I didn't get that much hate.Yeah, I'm confused why people get so angry if something doesn't work out because clearly, like, if you felt a certain way at the time, you're in the moment, you want to make it work, and then you get out into the real world and sometimes like two people are just not meant to be together.and the fact that it makes people so angryto then create hate towards themalways blows my mind I'm like
22:05what do you want them to not do what's bestfor their own hearts and for their own livesjust so you can like go to sleep at nightknowing that this couple is still togetherlike what I don't understand ityeah it blows my mind every daybut then at the end of the day it's likeI know that sometimes when I watch shows
22:23or like films or series on Netflixand I'm like why did you do that?And I'm like screaming at the TV.So I understand that I'm a puppet on the screen and people are going to be shouting at me on the TV and they're going to be like begging me to make different choices.But I think the main thing that I've realized is no matter what shall I go on, no matter who I date, there's going to be 50% of people that are happy and 50% that aren't.And how am I going to handle that, you know?Right.Because it really has nothing to do with it.
22:57It's just the platform that you've been given, and that comes with an audience.So no matter what people do, if you have an audience, it's always going to be, you know,a split of people being so supportive and so loving, and then other people who are justgoing to be big dick wads.I'm also a huge fan of The Circle, like I said earlier.I have questions about that show.Do you mind if I ask you some questions about the Circle?Ask me all the questions you want.
23:23Okay.So you set a film for three weeks.I have stupid questions.Like, are you told to yell alert?when the when it comes onlike when the alert haveokay yeahthey're like you have to yell alert
23:34yeahwas there like pickupswhere they're likeyou didn't say alert so you just have to be likeoh alertyeahand it doesn't actually make a soundyou have to pretend it makes a sound
23:45yeah you have to pretendwait why notbecauseI think it's something to do with likeoh I don't knowlike the wiring of the TVlike the TVisn't for use it's just for like to show you stuff so I just don't think I think they just put it in
24:06afterwards yeah yeah that makes sense okay that's funny and then do you ever forget you're beingfilmed because I yeah I had so many cameras around me on the show and I still forgot sometimesI was being filmed and they were like right there where yours are more Big Brother style and I can onlyimagine that you'd forget that you're being filmed that was quite a few times thatI pointed my minge to certain cameras by accident.And there were times where I just stripped naked.And I'd be like, people are seriously watching me right now.Like, there are a room full of people watching all of my cameras,
24:45probably having a bacon sandwich or like a sausage roll,sipping on Diet Coke, just watching me roll around picking wedgies out of my ass.This is insane.That's what it would, like,it because they're 24-7 right like even when you're sleeping they're watching oh i do some weirdshit in my sleep too like like sometimes i'll wake up in the middle night and i'm like touchingmyself and i'm like oh katelyn what are you doing there like fully like just having a moment or likei don't know like that i always want to have like one leg out i don't like to wear pants like there's
25:24there's just so many weird things that and if i didn't do all these things i just whensleep well so did you have good sleeps yeah i mean to be honest of you we were so exhaustedwe would literally i think there was even a time where i'd gone like eight or ten hours withoutfood because i had to cook for myself and i couldn't cook so i would i would accidentally starvemyself by accident and be like really hungry and then i'd remember oh and if i don't likeI love sex, right?And if I don't stimulate that side of me,sometimes I will go to sleep
26:01and I will wake up in the middle of the nightand I'm like, oh my God, what just happened?Like, I didn't realize, yeah,I didn't realize girls can actually have wet dreams.And I've had loads of them.If I go like maybe three, four, five weeks without anything,then it happens when I'm asleep.And I think that happened once.
26:22Yeah, I think it happened once when I was on the same.cool that okay but i i asked my fiance once when i woke up i was like was i doing anything hewas like no and i was like what because yeah fully i didn't know that either until i'm now i haveall the time but that's what i mean when i said like weird stuff in my sleep touching myself i likewake up i'm like i'd be like oh my gosh there's a room full of producers just like watchingjust watching me and i'm sure that happens all the time to people on these shows i don't know ifthey're like again eating their bacon sandwich just not giving the shit or if they're like oh my godturning away or like well i want to know what their reaction is i should have someone from like a
26:57production side come on the show but be like uh you know like they can we can blur their face outand they can do a secret voice just to tell us all the behind the scenes of what they actuallysee in that room you need to do that that would literally be gold because we want to know yeahbecause i mean people do weird stuff when they're alone and especially when you forget you're beingfilm like how do you not not pick your nose or like i don't know just certain things that youwould do that i guess you just had no shame by the end of it you'd be like fuck everyone's seeneverything yeah literally i would watch that yeah i think that's a good idea um it also seems likeyou're sitting in a room by yourself all the time just like are producers talking to you like
27:39through the day or is it like a lot of downtime or like what's happening in your day to daythere was so much downtime like 90% of the show was me sleeping theywould have to wake me up and then say, Chloe, like, we're filming. And I'm like, oh, yeah,and then I did, like, get up and start doing some weird shit just to keep them happy. And thenI would just go back to sleep again. I was so exhausted. I don't know why I was so exhausted.I think just being in Manchester, in a room, you can't leave. It's raining constantly outside.And you haven't got any social media, any book. No, you had books. You didn't have any TV.it makes a lot of sense why you would sleep a lot.
28:22I feel like your brain is constantly thinking about like what you should be doing or what you should be saying or who is this and trying to figure things out that you're so overstimulated.Plus like you said, all the other things that are factoring in where the weather and you're, you know, have nothing else to do.I did that too when I was filming.I would just be like, like I would sleep so hard.I'd have a mic pack on my back and it wouldn't even phase me.I'd be, like, passed out in the most uncomfortable position.Like, I'm, like, emotionally and, like, in every way, just so drained from it all.Yeah.
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30:16Get $20 off your fertility test when you go to modern fertility.com slash off the vine.Modern fertility.com slash off the vine.You think Vanderpump Rules is messy now?It's always been messy.I'm Jacks Taylor, the OG Pump Rules villain.And I'm Brittany Cartwright, wife of the OG villain.And we've got a new podcast when reality hits.We'll definitely be talking about Vanderpump Rules past and present.
30:41Scandibald.And you'll get a look at what life is like for us nowas we figure out marriage and parenthood,Little Cruzy.And friendships, and definitely feuds.It's our real reality with and without cameras.And sometimes with special guests,like our celebrity friends,
30:58former castmates, and other veterans of reality TV.So listen to and followwhen reality hits with us,Jacks Taylor, and Brittany Cartwright.At Apple Podcast, Spotify,or wherever you get your podcasts.Do you watch the show's back that you're on?Always, yeah, with my family.
31:22Yeah.Oh, that's sweet.I feel like you have, well, just from knowing you for a brief, what, 29 minutes,and from what you said about your family and how close you are,I would picture you all in a room just like enjoying it, being able to laugh about it,like being able to laugh at yourself.Is it just like, do you?you just have a good time watching it back because a lot of people struggle with watching things
31:45back. Oh, no. I love it. I love it. I love taking the piss out myself. Like, if there's one mottothat I've got, it's just, like, there's humor in everything. You've just got to find it. And what we dois we sit around my mum's and we sit on the sofa, we get some food like a takeaway or something,and we put the TV on and we all snuggle up. And you know, the,The one person in the family that always rewinds it, then rewatches it,then rewines it and then rewatches it is my dad.He's like my number one fan.He'll be like, whoa, whoa, whoa, be quiet.
32:22I can't hear it.I can't hear it.And then he'll rewind it.He's so cute.That is really adorable.He loves it.My dad would have to actually like turn the TV off because he was like, oh my gosh,if I see you make out with one more dude and then talk about sex.
32:39Like he was like, oh my God, which is.why I was laughing at you and your dad's conversation, like, talking about condoms and how it makesyou last longer. And I was like, oh my gosh, I could never with my dad. Oh, my dad literally isthe biggest sex best to my mom. And I've just been grown. I've just been brought up in ahousehold where my dad is always, like, bending my mom over, smacking her balm, like grabbing her hair.And I think that's why I love just being open about it because it's nothing to be a change.of but then there's the other half like my nan and my my my granddad before he passedthey wouldn't they can't they can't talk about sex it's like no off bounds yeah like there's
33:23one half of my family that loves talking about it and this is the other half it's just like no wedon't talk about that in here that's so funny yeah I guess that makes sense I the same thing likeI was I remember being in trouble for even like talking about sex when I was I don't know17.Like, okay, let's sit down and talk about it.And then now my mom can't believe because we'll talk about anything and everything.And she was like, I can't believe I like thought that was so wrong back then because thenshe saw, I got shamed so bad on TV for having sex.
33:55And then she was like, I never wanted you to feel that way.So it's, it is nice when you can have that open communication with your family.You seem so confident and positive on shows.But I saw that you had posted about mental health.health on Instagram. So from like before you went on TV to now, has your mental health beenaffected in any way? Or do you make sure you stay on top of things to make sure it doesn't?I have dips. I do have dips. Like the past couple of days have been really hard for me. I don'tknow why. I think it's just, I've just being overwhelmed, you know, being overwhelmed with not
34:32knowing what to do next. Knowing my capabilities and knowing what I want to do with my life.but then having restrictionsbecause I've been on reality TVor because the world's got a perception of melike I really want to be a hostand I want to have a documentaryand I want to talk about addictionand like show the real stuff that's going on
34:54you knowand because I've been on so many Netflix showsand I've shown such a fun side about meit's really hard for me to just sit backand transition into what I actually want to doand it's just that godpigeonholed intoYeah. I feel like I have been pigeonholed a little bit. I mean, I kind of look at it in a positive way and a negative way. I try not to look at the negatives because obviously I'm in sobriety. So we kind of practice like gratitude and all of that. That really helps me grounded when I'm having bad days. Like yesterday I went to an AA meeting because I was feeling really down and I spoke to my family. One thing that I normally do is isolate myself and just like there'll be days where I'll just like stop eating because I'm so anxious.
35:38But then, because I'm surrounded by, like, good friends and a good family,I just, I have to force myself to ring them if I'm going for it.Because it's so important for me to just get it out my system.Because once I speak about it, I feel so much better.Because it's like that's, you're only as sick as your secrets, you know?If you don't let it out, then, but yeah, my sobriety really helps me grounded.The AA meetings, I did a week retreat of inner child work.And when I came back and talked to my dad, so my dad has been sober for 30 years and he's been going to AA meetings for 30 years.
36:14And it was actually really interesting talking to him about this inner child work that I did because it was a lot of similarities in just like, you know, spirituality and gratitude and certain things that you go through and steps that you learn of how to just, you know, take yourself out of certain situations and mental spaces and just how to actually like live your life.It's like a guidebook.Yes, it is like a guidebook of how to live your life.And my dad always said, and I said this on the podcast so many times because I love that my dad said this, but it also is so true.It's so sad that people have to, you know, somehow find a, to have a problem to get to A.Because A.A. is such a good guidebook of how to live your life.Yeah.So I love that you will, that you'll go to these meetings if you need to, you know, get it out.
37:03And I think it's really important for people that are listening to.hear that because a lot of times people think it's a burden to, you know, tell somebodywhat you're going through and they don't want to be a burden or they just do want to internalizea lot because they're just like, I don't want to put this on other people. But your family andthe people that love you are always going to be there for you. And it helps you get it off yourchest. Yeah. I call it, I call it grasping myself up. So if my head's telling me like negativethoughts, I'm like, oh, I've got to grasp myself up and just tell someone. And then, yeah, ninetimes out of ten like today i've just sat in bed all day watched a bit of like shit tv i've had some
37:42hot cheetos because i've got i've got a hot cheeto addiction i love them and i know and i'm justgoing to go to the cinema tonight of my friend and just have today and tonight for just myselfbecause sometimes it can just get so overwhelming you know and even people that have a like a normalnine to five job sometimes it's really important to just switch off to like we ground yourselfI used to have a nine to five job and I've had many I worked in a chip shop I worked as acustomer service person people would shout at me all the time so people always say to me likelike Chloe you don't understand what it's like and I'm like I do yeah yeah this isn'tbeen something that you've been like you know doing your whole life to get towards TV you've
38:30you've worked your nine to five's this happened for you and now you can relate to thatAnd I want to say thank you for doing the podcast today because that's something I find really challenging.If I have anxiety and depression and some days I'm like, I don't know how I'm going to podcast today and have like be myself and and show up.And so and sometimes all you need to do is, you know, show up.It's that same thing of like going to the gym.The hardest part is getting your shoes on.But once you're there, you feel good and you're like, why, you know, why was I not going to do this?And so thank you for doing the podcast today because I'm sure you did probably.
39:04want to just lay in bed and take the time for you.So that was very nice of it.Thank you.I'm glad I'm here.I'm glad I put the shoes on.Yeah, I'm glad you did do.I'm glad you did do.A lot of people actually,
39:16my sister included,have been looking into ADHD.And you talk about your ADHD diagnosis, right?Yeah.So many people,so many people have been,you know,being diagnosed later in life.
39:29And I'm just wondering how that journey's been for youbecause I think it'll benefit a lot of listenersto hear what you've gone throughand how it's changed your lifeto even be diagnosed.Yeah, I mean, my mom tried to get me diagnosedwhen I was a lot younger,but she ended up getting my brother diagnosed.
39:48And I, when I went to see a doctor when I was younger,we had all these, like, tests,and they came to our school,and they kind of looked at our behaviours.And my mum was told that I didn't have ADHD,that I was just like a, I don't know,like a not a misbehaved childbut someone that just didn't listen
40:06but I've come to realizethat it was the stigmathat women can't have ADHDand it makes mesick because there are so manylike people think that ADHD is justhyperactivity and it isn'tlike I will have ups and downs
40:25and I will feel really really depressedand then feel really really happyand it's not bipolarit's ADHD.I can't function my emotions.I can't understand my emotions sometimes.Like the emotional dysfunction that I have is my ADHD.And I see all these TikTok videos online and they're like,
40:45oh, if you're running around,you're sitting in the morning, you have ADHD.And it's like, this is making people think that they have ADHD when they haven't.And it's spreading a stigma around it.So people, but I got diagnosed last year.My mum kept all of my diaries when I was younger.She wrote down my behaviours, my moods.And she wrote down everything.
41:11She had like six different books that were filled with writing throughout my school years, my school reports.And she tried so many times to get me diagnosed when I was younger, but they just weren't having any of it.And I said to my mum, listen, it's fine.I obviously haven't got it.And then it got to a point in my adulthood where I moved out of home.I was, I was hit, it was like I was hit with like extreme depression and anxiety.I could pay my bills.I was always late being run.
41:40I was turning up late to appointments, doctors appointments.It was like my life was a massive dysfunctional, chaotic environment and I just did not know what to do.So I spoke to someone in the industry and they said,Klo, like you've got ADHD, babe, like there's no fucking doubt about.it. You need to go and see someone. So I sat down with a specialist and I showed him all of theproof, facts, documentation and everything throughout my whole childhood and my adulthood.And he said only, I think, don't quote me on this, but I think it's only 40% of people whoare diagnosed with ADHD in their childhood. Actually, it continues into that adulthood as
42:22extreme as it did with me. And I didn't know that. Because sometimes when you get older, you don'tgrow out of it, but you kind of adapt to it.Right.But he said that I have both sides, which is the attention deficit, and then I also havethe other side is combined ADHD.And he actually prescribed me tablets to take.Yeah.I took them for a couple of weeks and then I stopped taking them because it's crazy because
42:54when I actually got the diagnosis, I stopped beating myself up and I stopped.getting angry at myself over stupid things and it gave me such acceptance over my my diagnosis thatmost of the problems that I had before have gone away wow it's just it's crazy how it worksat having being diagnosed I can understand myself better as to why I act certain ways andwhy I feel certain emotions that my friends don't feel or but yeah why I need certain days tojust you know what, I'm switching off from the world.That's really, though, that's really incredible, though, that just, you know, feeling seen and heard can actually help that much to just feel seen and to know and to give yourself grace and permission to have those days where you do nothing and not feel guilt or shame around it and just know this is what it is.That was, that's how I feel about when I'm hormonal, it gets really dark and really bad for me.
43:59but even just knowing that that's like how did I not know for years i'm you know getting the samething every month at the same time and i would just think i was bipolar or um like something was wrongand i was like oh my gosh it's hormonal and even um talking to a hormonal specialistmade me realize that in those moments where i was having like out of body experiences andacting like uh like tantrums and depression and dark dark times i just knowingthat what it was did help me as well so it's interesting yeah it's it's hope isn't it it's you stop beatingyourself up yes because you understand it you're not a psycho most women think they are and it's likeno we're not oh i know i know i'm like i wish i wish somebody could like be in a hormonal or ADHD
44:52body for like five minutes during that time you know and just see um it's it's it's sosometimes stronger than you and that's okay and you know it's it's about learning about yourself anddoing things like you are doing today for yourself on those days and i think that's some self-awareness isone of the biggest you know blessings that i've ever given myself is it is let's talk about yourpodcast before i let you go uh banging it was so good um when did you start your podcast and when doesseason two come out because you definitely have a new listener in me thank you i i fucking love it i'm notgoing to lie. I'm so biased because it's my own. But I think it was just like, I had a conversationwith my dad and he went, Chloe, you love talking about sex. I just do it and get paid for it. I was
45:38like, okay. So when did I start? I mean, I think I started last year. I loved every single momentof doing that podcast. It was like my therapy. Oh, just being able to speak to different peopleand understand like it's educational people think that certain podcasts aren't but they are in all aspectsgave me so much awareness of other people in the world around me with the people that I wasinterviewing especially my dad yeah I know that season two will definitely be coming before theend of the year I can't say a date yet because I just want to make sure that I'm with theright production company and that located somewhere that feels like home because at the minutemy life's so up in the air with waiting for my visa to come from
46:24to America. I don't. I'm living month by month right now with my tenancy. So my landlord's like,are you moving? I'm like, I don't know yet. You need to wait. So as soon as I'm settled in America,I will, I will be filming series two. I love it. Well, I, if you have any podcasting questionsoffline, you can let me know. I've been podcasting for six years and I feel like there's so manythings that people should know before you do sign with anybody.I'm totally here for all the help with moving or visa stuff.I'm Canadian, so I've had to deal with a lot of stuff as well.So, yeah, I'm here for you if you need any help with anything.
47:06But I'm excited for season two of your podcast.I'm excited for everything that you're going to do and just, I don't know,there's just something about real people that I connect with who just like, you're like,yeah, I do like talking about sex.So I'm going to have a podcast called Bangin and it's hilarious.And I just love them.people are just authentic like that do what you want to do don't care about what other people thinkand just do you're doing it for you you know what i mean like it's what we're all wanting to do in
47:33life is to figure out what makes us happy and get paid to do it so good for you i barely know youbut i feel proud of you um before i let you go you have to give me a confessionokay so when I was in quarantine I was one of my best friends and just before I walked intoher bedroom I was having phone sex with this guy yeah I was looking for a vibrator I waslike where is this vibrator I've lost it and then I was also going to get a remote and a phonecharger and I walked into my best friend's room and I was aboutto ask her where the charger is, because my phone was going to die.I actually asked her, do you know where the vibrator is by accident?
48:32And it was the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to us in our friendship.She was like, what?And this guy was like, do you share vibrators?You're not kidding.We, I would not picture you getting embarrassed over that.No, but because it was like, it was really new with this guy.and he looked at me on FaceTimeand was saying, like,
48:55why have you asked your breath for a vibrator?I was like, I'm so sorry.Like, I don't use myself.We've heard.I was so flabbergasted.Oh my God.Okay, wait, now I understand.You're embarrassed because he was on FaceTime
49:11and heard you say that.I thought you were embarrassedbecause you asked your roommateand I was like, or your best friend.Yeah, okay, that makes more sense.Wait, I can't gloss over this for a secondbecause I'm a very open person.I don't, I'm not really shy.
49:28I kind of like takes a lot to embarrass me.Phone sex is something that I can't do.Give people advice for phone sex if they're listening and they feel the same way that I do.Okay.So it's okay for it to be awkward.It's okay for your laugh.It's not like what it is on the movies.Okay.
49:47Your version of phone sex is going to be different to everyone else is.With me,make funny faces at the beginning and I'm like,should we? Should we actually do it?I kind of just instigate it as like a jokeand then see how they respond.Because if they're up for it, then it's like,okay, well then you lead the conversation.
50:04If I was really what you actually say to meor like, can you imagine what underwear I'm wearing right now?Just ask like really cute, flirtatious questionsand then see how they respond to itbecause if they then start going,oh, you'll get me horning.then you're just like, okay, then I'm doing my job properly.Yeah, it's probably easier than you think it is.
50:27I mean, just fucking do it.Just try it, try it out.And it doesn't have to be, oh, touch my, I'm touching myself right now.Are you touching me?Like, it doesn't have to be like that.Just like, have fun with it.But my fiancé leaves tomorrow for five days.I'm going to try.
50:47Oh, do it.Please let me go out know how it goes.Okay, I will.I actually will. You're amazing. I just love talking to you and I can't wait to see what you do andI can't wait for season two of your podcast and all of the things. And when you move, let me knowbecause I'm out in LA all the time. Oh my God. Thank you so much. I'll DM you on Instagram afterthis. I really appreciate you having me on. Oh my gosh. Thank you for taking the time, especially today.Now go take care of yourself. I will, I promise. I'm going to go cook myself dinner.
51:16Yes. Okay. That's perfect. Enjoy. Thank you.I'm Kate LeBristow, and I'll see you next Tuesday.Thanks for listening to this week's episode of Off the Vine.Don't forget to rate, review, and follow on your favorite podcast platform.And we'll see you next Tuesday.All month long on Pluto TV, stream the biggest Tyler Perry movies free.Watch your favorites like Medea's witness protection and Medea's big happy family.Join Tyler Perry as he goes.
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