Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Perfect Match's Chloe Veitch: Netflix, Phone Sex, & What’s Next

Episode Date: April 4, 2023

Today’s guest is literally Too Hot to Handle… but there’s a lot more to her than meets the eye. Netflix’s Chloe Veitch joins KB to talk all about what it was like filming over three reality shows in just three-ish years, what happened with her “perfect match,” and how she navigates sobriety & living with ADHD. Both Kaitlyn and Chloe are definitely known to say exactly what’s on their minds, and they’re leaving nothing off the mic today as they talk about what they do when no one’s watching, phone sex tips and tricks, and dealing with mental health struggles and online hate. Plus, Kaitlyn is asking the questions we all wonder while watching The Circle and finding out what’s next for Chloe as she gets ready to come to America for good. Thank you to our sponsors! Check out these deals for the Vinos: TALKSPACE - To match with a licensed therapist today, go to Talkspace.com/VINE to get $100 off of your first month and show your support for the show.  STARBUCKS - Tune in to moments that matter with the uplifting boost of Starbucks Mocha Frappuccino Chilled Coffee Drink. Available now, online, or wherever you buy groceries.  MODERN FERTILITY - Right now, Modern Fertility is offering my listeners $20 off the fertility test when you go to ModernFertility.com/offthevine.   See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Okay, let's talk about the original enemies to lovers story. Before all of our reality TV couples, before the rom-coms, we binge, there was Elizabeth Bennett and Mr. Darcy in pride and prejudice. And Audible has just dropped a brand new original that will have you completely hooked, I am. It's not just any audiobook. This is a full cast performance. So Marisa Abella, you might know her from industry, brings Elizabeth Bennett to life.

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So whether it's your first time experiencing Pride and Prejudice or you've read it a million times, you're going to fall absolutely in love all over again. So go listen to Pride and Prejudice now at audible.ca slash Jane Austen. Welcome to Off the Vine with Caitlin Bristow. Get ready to laugh, connect, and feel empowered with Caitlin and her guests as they sip wine, lots of wine and get candid they say vulnerability creates connection so save the highlight reel for instagram because when we're among vinos there's no filter it's time to unwind here's your host kately bristow this episode of off the vine is brought to you by talkspace to match with a licensed therapist today go to talkspace.com slash vine to get a hundred dollars off your first month and show

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modernfertility.com slash off the vine. Hello. Hi, how are you? I'm good, how are you? I'm so good. I'm so excited to talk to you. Okay, I, my producer Alicia, who we were just talking to, she tells me all the time how much I need to watch the perfect match.

She's like, you would love this show because I love the circle, I love Big Brother, I love reality TV, and she's like, I can't believe you still haven't watched it yet. I haven't had time because I just got back from London for my first time. No way. Yes. I love London welcome, do? It did. It was honestly, I loved every little part of it. I didn't do many like touristy things, but I went to, like I did high tea at Sketch,

which was the most stunning little place I've ever seen in my life. And I did sexy fish because I love sushi. And we did DeSium, the Indian food restaurant. Have you ever been there? Oh, right. I've never been there, but I've been to sexy fish before. Oh, the sushi is insane. it was insane like I oh my gosh I just love good sushi and Nashville where I live did not have

good sushi so having that was such a street but I love London I feel like it is really like a special place it is to be honest with you I've literally just come back from America I was there for like two and a half months and towards the end of my trip I was so sad to leave America but at the same time I was like I can't wait to just go home I'm being back here and and seeing, like, it's so cultured without even realizing, because I've lived here for my whole life. Yeah. And then when going to like a different country like America and then coming back to London, you start to really appreciate the big red buses and the phone boxes and just like the typical corner shops and restaurants. Oh, I've missed it so much. It was so hard to get a chicken

curry out in America. I was fuming. Wait, I'm confused. Do you want a chicken curry in London or in America? in America because when I was over there they didn't have any really I couldn't find it and it wasn't the same like I had a chicken curry

in this small restaurant but it was just it wasn't like Chinese style you know and I just thought that's it you need to go to Zoom in London

it is the best Indian food I've ever had in my whole life DeShune yes okay I'll send you a little picture when I get there

I'm like look I'm here And you will thank me, too, because honestly, it was the best chicken curry I've ever had in my whole entire life. Oh, okay. Okay. I hope it meets my standards. It will. I promise you it will. It was very highly recommended from a friend of mine who was like literally an Indian food connoisseur.

And he was like, this is the best place in London. And we went and it truly was. I could talk about this chicken curry for the next hour. But I won't because we have to talk about Netflix, the fact that you were on. three Netflix shows in what like three years is so crazy to me because Netflix is just such a beast of a obviously network and it's huge and people love it and all the shows are just incredible like the Bachelor franchise which obviously I was part of for so long and still kind of am at times. It's just been such a the same format that people see dating shows all

the time and like love is blind and all these shows that are coming in on Netflix have just like shaken things up so much and it's I think people just love to see like, a new format of dating that's like I don't know a little more realistic and not like like honest conversation and talking about you know mental health and important things of what you'd want to know before you get married living together before you get married like that that stuff kind of like fascinates me but um how how did you film three Netflix shows in three years like how long were you filming each one to be honest with you the first one was I would say four years ago.

Toot to handle, it took a year to come out. But by the time we had filmed it and it had aired, it'd already been over a year. Wow. So if my timeline's correct, I would say I got a phone call, I would say at least three months after Toot to Handle aired and was like, we want you to do the circle. And then I'd done the circle and then that was filmed over like three weeks. And then after the circle came. out. I think there was a good, like, year and a half gap where I hadn't, like, I didn't really

have any work from Netflix. I was just doing, like, shows in the UK. Because I've done seven reality shows now. Holy. Holy. Like, insane. And I'm just, I don't know, I'm at a crossroad. I'm like, what do I want to do now? Oh my gosh. You can do whatever you want with your platform. You have a, you have so many, like, lovely people that want to hear from you and see you, like, I don't know, freaking, like, picking your nose and people would be like, yay! Like, it just, you can do whatever on your platform. Oh, no, am I frozen? No, no, no, no.

Hello, can you guys hear me and see me? Yes. See, it's so crazy because before, because I was talking. Yeah. I could see and hear you, but you couldn't see or hear me. You were like, oh, I've lost the back to my earring. I wish I was British. And I was like, can you hear me?

You could hear all that. I could hear everything. I was like, guys, I'm here. Should be ready. We'll see how it goes. And this shit happens all the time. I really do wish I was British, though, because one of my good girlfriends, Emma, she's on Dancing with the Stars.

And just like, the second I hear her voice or even her sense of humor and just like how she approaches life, I just, I just, I feel like in another lifetime I'm meant to be fully living my London life, being British. Yeah, I love being British. But I do love America. I'm moving soon. My visa's in application. So I'm like ready to go. Oh my gosh, where are you going to go? I don't actually know yet. I went for like two and a half months to like scope out some of the areas. I think, I don't know. I'm being told do not go to. like Hollywood area kind of go to like

outside but I don't know I need to ask a few people maybe you could give me some tips I'll give you some tips I will if I were you I would move to New York but I'm not you if you're moving to L.A.

I'll I'll message you separately and give you areas to look in because I'm actually looking to possibly get a studio apartment out in L.A. as well for recording podcasts so I'm doing research so I'll help you. Oh my God, yes. please yes okay so back to the crazy reality tv and giving you this platform that's what i'm saying

like you're so funny um i was listening to your podcast with your dad and i was laughing my ass off and i'm like oh my gosh i'm telling you it you don't i hope you know this but you don't have to know what's next because you've already set yourself up for success and you're just you're you're you're like you've got that star quality you're you're meant to have a platform you're supposed to like have a podcast you're a light that's bringing laughter to the world and I love that like it's so funny and you can do whatever you want now oh thank you I think to be honest with you at the minute I'm just I am constantly questioning myself what's next what's next but I think I'm just my own worst critic you know I'm just like I'm 24 okay I've done this I've done this I've done this but like

what's next because I came from nothing it's like because it was quickly given to me it wasn't given to me, I worked for it, but because it was, it happened like overnight, a part of my mind's like, what if it's taken away overnight? Which is just stupid, I know, but I think, I don't know, I'm just, that's the human brain, that's the way we've function and that's how we talk to ourselves. But it's, like, to me, I look at everything you've done and I'm like, oh my gosh, imagine just looking in the mirror and be like, I was chosen to go on too hot to handle. Like, I am too hot.

And the fact that you're like, I'm not. not only too hot to handle, but I'm also, like, really funny. Like, that's amazing. But I do the same thing. I'm like, okay, I went on The Bachelor. I was the Bachelorette. Then I won Dancing with the Stars. And then I hosted The Bachelorette.

And then I was on Broadway. And then I'm like, but is that enough? Because what's next? I do the exact same things to myself all the time. And if I have like a little bit of downtime where I'm still doing what I love by podcasting, I still have my wine label. I'm like, oh, it's not enough. And then I have to kind of slap my.

myself in the face a couple times and do like a gratitude journal or look back at everything I've done and like give myself like a mirror high five like you go girl you look what you've done what do you do to like ground yourself and be like what I've done is so empowering and now I have this voice like what do you do because I know you're open and honest about mental health which I love um so what do you do for yourself to like pump yourself up to be honest with you I also do like the gratitude stuff so I do 10 things that I'm grateful for every morning. And then I just, I stick around people that, that lift me up instead of bring me down. Like family, I'm such a big family girl.

And when I'm around my mom and dad, like, they humble me quick. They're like, hello, like, shut the fuck. Sit down and you're having dinner with the family. Okay, big shot. And I'm like, okay. But it's, yeah, that kind of humbles me a little bit. And it kind of reminds me as well that even though obviously me and you have been through like this journey of like success in a way of like building ourselves up from the bottom

up, no matter how much money or materialistic things that we ever have, it's like for me it's the fundamentals that I need, like the family and like just being grounded, which is obviously the main points that keep me happy and grateful. So just surrounding myself with family and stuff. I think that's so important. And I think especially when you're in a world of, you know, characters that are real people with real emotions and feelings, but they're on these shows. And they've been selected to be on these shows for different personalities, different purposes, editing as a whole thing. Now you've got this platform of millions of people watching you.

And so you do need to like always remind yourself to stay around the people that. do ground you and humble you because otherwise you can you know go down that joy sucker of the suck hole of instagram and and see what people think of you and and it's it's kind of hard to not let that get to you so being around people that actually know you that actually love you that have your best interest in it's so important did you feel like when you were filming these shows were you able to contact the people that like humble you the your family or were you secluded and only with producers it was it was mainly seclusion with like the producers

and to be honest I'm quite grateful that the shows that I have been on because I've been on three now the people that I've met through other shows I've always kind of reappeared on the shows that I've been on so I've always had friends that I can talk to like when I'm on a show which is great because I'm like this is like the best of both worlds I don't have to make any more friends. That's good.

Yeah, I can just stay in my little bubble. But yeah, I mean, it's always hard when you film in because you've got your kind of work head on. And then it's also at the same time, it's like, what do you actually want to find love? You know? I want to find love. I want to settle down. I want to meet someone. But at the same time, it's like, yeah, but I've got, like, you're not pressured into making a decision.

but I see something earlier on Instagram. It was a quote that someone put and he was a producer, the one that actually put it on his story and I laughed. What is it? It's an older woman sat down talking to her grandson and she's like, so I met your granddad on a reality dating TV show

and we had one of two choices. I could either make a decision and marry him there and then or go through public humiliation. And it was just the most realest thing I've ever heard. All right. If you are a listener of the pod, you already know how much I love therapy and how much it's done for me. I've been in therapy for 11 years now. And doing the work all myself has made such a difference in my life and in my relationships and even in the workplace and everything I do. And I know a lot of people think seeing a therapist or a psychiatrist would be helpful but don't

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including anxiety, depression, substance abuse, relationship issues, and much more. And as a listener of this podcast, you're going to get $100 off your first month with Talkspace when you go to Talkspace.com slash Vine. So to match with the licensed therapist today, go to Talkspace.com slash Vine to get $100 off your first month and show your support for the show. Talkspace.com slash vine. Okay, life moves at you fast. It's honestly wild to me how quickly this year is just flying by actually the last two years. And sometimes I feel like I can't keep up. But luckily, Starbucks ready to drink coffee is there to deliver an uplifting boost that helps you tune into the

moments that matter wherever you are and whatever you have going on. I love starting my day out with, you know, a little coffee, little meditation, but I usually need a little boost in the afternoon as well. So lately I've been loving having Starbucks ready to drink coffee on hand. It's so convenient. I love convenience and it's really good. Their bottled frappuccino, chilled coffee drink is inspired by Starbucks Cafe Favorites and comes in four delicious flavors. So mocha, vanilla, caramel and coffee. My favorite is the vanilla right now, but my panel switches. All of them are really yummy.

And whether I'm in the mood for that bevy or I want a nitro cold brew, they have so many good options for whatever I'm feeling, especially when I'm at home recording a pod like I am right now. Definitely needs something I can just grab from the fridge to give me that little boost. Starbucks coffee ready for right now, shop the full lineup online. in store or wherever you buy groceries. I mean, it's just such a unique situation because you have to make TV. And so you have to, you know, do what the producers tell you.

And there's some things you have to do and say. But also you're a real person who's actually trying to find love and make TV. And it's not something that you, like, grew up doing. You're not like, oh, I know how to make a TV show. So you're kind of just going along for the ride as well where, and I talk about this a lot on my podcast where the producers of The Bachelor can be quite manipulative. But I've heard on other shows, it just depends. Did you feel like you got to really portray yourself in the light that you would want to? Or do you feel like you had to kind of play their little game as well?

To be honest with you, every show that I've been on, they have been so understanding of like who I am and my brand. Because I've seen other people that have gone through that journey of not being betrayed the right way or being put into certain situations that they didn't necessarily ask to be in and they had to make that decision in front of millions of people. I mean, in the real world, none of this stuff would ever happen. Of course. So it's like no one could ever know what they would do in that situation because it doesn't happen in real life.

We're not prepared for this. We don't get taught at school. Oh, if you're on a show and your ex walks in and you've just found a new love interest, who are you going to choose? It's like, I don't know. until I'm in that situation. While everybody's watching, it's not just like who are you going to choose.

It's who are you going to choose in front of millions of people. Yeah. We're then going to have opinions and it's a lot. And I haven't, okay, so I haven't watched, but I do know that, and spoiler alert for anybody watching or listening, I do know that you did end up with Shane

at the end of Perfect Match, who I knew from Love is Blind, but it didn't work out. Do you two still talk? Are you still friends? because he's someone that I always said was misunderstood or he I don't think he got like

the best edits sometimes and I feel like this stuff has been so hard on him yeah I mean the one thing that I love about shame is that he never means to do anyone harm like he is actually such a sweetheart but with everyone

there's always red flags and I feel like sometimes people recognize those red flags and then kind of expedite it for their own benefit of TV. And I just really hope that from Perfect Match he was seen in a different light and people start to understand him a little bit more. I know that, I don't know, that we had some really big, big, busty arguments on that show and I know that every, probably every person on that cast had an argument with Shane at some point. But, I mean, it wasn't.

the severity of the argument that was the red flag. I think it was just a very high-pressurized situation. And some people just, I don't know. I don't know how to explain it. Like, he doesn't mean any harm. Yeah, I know what you mean. And I get that sense from him that, like, he reminds me of, like, a little puppy or something. Like, he doesn't mean, he does harm, but he doesn't realize he's doing it.

And it's not intentional. Yeah. Yeah, I know what you mean. Yeah. There's so many, you know, couples that claim to be perfect matches. Dom and Georgia won. Joey and how do you say her name? Carousel.

Carousel. Carousel got engaged. Are they still together? Or is anyone still together? No one's, no one's together from the show. Like, it was no one. And I was really shocked. I was really shocked at the end.

But, I mean, it's just... It's just life, you know, so many people that aren't together on the show are getting so much hate from people. Really? In my head, I'm just like, I'm so glad that I didn't get that much hate. Yeah, I'm confused why people get so angry if something doesn't work out because clearly, like, if you felt a certain way at the time, you're in the moment, you want to make it work, and then you get out into the real world and sometimes like two people are just not meant to be together. and the fact that it makes people so angry to then create hate towards them always blows my mind I'm like

what do you want them to not do what's best for their own hearts and for their own lives just so you can like go to sleep at night knowing that this couple is still together like what I don't understand it yeah it blows my mind every day but then at the end of the day it's like I know that sometimes when I watch shows

or like films or series on Netflix and I'm like why did you do that? And I'm like screaming at the TV. So I understand that I'm a puppet on the screen and people are going to be shouting at me on the TV and they're going to be like begging me to make different choices. But I think the main thing that I've realized is no matter what shall I go on, no matter who I date, there's going to be 50% of people that are happy and 50% that aren't. And how am I going to handle that, you know? Right. Because it really has nothing to do with it.

It's just the platform that you've been given, and that comes with an audience. So no matter what people do, if you have an audience, it's always going to be, you know, a split of people being so supportive and so loving, and then other people who are just going to be big dick wads. I'm also a huge fan of The Circle, like I said earlier. I have questions about that show. Do you mind if I ask you some questions about the Circle? Ask me all the questions you want.

Okay. So you set a film for three weeks. I have stupid questions. Like, are you told to yell alert? when the when it comes on like when the alert have okay yeah they're like you have to yell alert

yeah was there like pickups where they're like you didn't say alert so you just have to be like oh alert yeah and it doesn't actually make a sound you have to pretend it makes a sound

yeah you have to pretend wait why not because I think it's something to do with like oh I don't know like the wiring of the TV like the TV isn't for use it's just for like to show you stuff so I just don't think I think they just put it in

afterwards yeah yeah that makes sense okay that's funny and then do you ever forget you're being filmed because I yeah I had so many cameras around me on the show and I still forgot sometimes I was being filmed and they were like right there where yours are more Big Brother style and I can only imagine that you'd forget that you're being filmed that was quite a few times that I pointed my minge to certain cameras by accident. And there were times where I just stripped naked. And I'd be like, people are seriously watching me right now. Like, there are a room full of people watching all of my cameras,

probably having a bacon sandwich or like a sausage roll, sipping on Diet Coke, just watching me roll around picking wedgies out of my ass. This is insane. That's what it would, like, it because they're 24-7 right like even when you're sleeping they're watching oh i do some weird shit in my sleep too like like sometimes i'll wake up in the middle night and i'm like touching myself and i'm like oh katelyn what are you doing there like fully like just having a moment or like i don't know like that i always want to have like one leg out i don't like to wear pants like there's

there's just so many weird things that and if i didn't do all these things i just when sleep well so did you have good sleeps yeah i mean to be honest of you we were so exhausted we would literally i think there was even a time where i'd gone like eight or ten hours without food because i had to cook for myself and i couldn't cook so i would i would accidentally starve myself by accident and be like really hungry and then i'd remember oh and if i don't like I love sex, right? And if I don't stimulate that side of me, sometimes I will go to sleep

and I will wake up in the middle of the night and I'm like, oh my God, what just happened? Like, I didn't realize, yeah, I didn't realize girls can actually have wet dreams. And I've had loads of them. If I go like maybe three, four, five weeks without anything, then it happens when I'm asleep. And I think that happened once.

Yeah, I think it happened once when I was on the same. cool that okay but i i asked my fiance once when i woke up i was like was i doing anything he was like no and i was like what because yeah fully i didn't know that either until i'm now i have all the time but that's what i mean when i said like weird stuff in my sleep touching myself i like wake up i'm like i'd be like oh my gosh there's a room full of producers just like watching just watching me and i'm sure that happens all the time to people on these shows i don't know if they're like again eating their bacon sandwich just not giving the shit or if they're like oh my god turning away or like well i want to know what their reaction is i should have someone from like a

production side come on the show but be like uh you know like they can we can blur their face out and they can do a secret voice just to tell us all the behind the scenes of what they actually see in that room you need to do that that would literally be gold because we want to know yeah because i mean people do weird stuff when they're alone and especially when you forget you're being film like how do you not not pick your nose or like i don't know just certain things that you would do that i guess you just had no shame by the end of it you'd be like fuck everyone's seen everything yeah literally i would watch that yeah i think that's a good idea um it also seems like you're sitting in a room by yourself all the time just like are producers talking to you like

through the day or is it like a lot of downtime or like what's happening in your day to day there was so much downtime like 90% of the show was me sleeping they would have to wake me up and then say, Chloe, like, we're filming. And I'm like, oh, yeah, and then I did, like, get up and start doing some weird shit just to keep them happy. And then I would just go back to sleep again. I was so exhausted. I don't know why I was so exhausted. I think just being in Manchester, in a room, you can't leave. It's raining constantly outside. And you haven't got any social media, any book. No, you had books. You didn't have any TV. it makes a lot of sense why you would sleep a lot.

I feel like your brain is constantly thinking about like what you should be doing or what you should be saying or who is this and trying to figure things out that you're so overstimulated. Plus like you said, all the other things that are factoring in where the weather and you're, you know, have nothing else to do. I did that too when I was filming. I would just be like, like I would sleep so hard. I'd have a mic pack on my back and it wouldn't even phase me. I'd be, like, passed out in the most uncomfortable position. Like, I'm, like, emotionally and, like, in every way, just so drained from it all. Yeah.

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Get $20 off your fertility test when you go to modern fertility.com slash off the vine. Modern fertility.com slash off the vine. You think Vanderpump Rules is messy now? It's always been messy. I'm Jacks Taylor, the OG Pump Rules villain. And I'm Brittany Cartwright, wife of the OG villain. And we've got a new podcast when reality hits. We'll definitely be talking about Vanderpump Rules past and present.

Scandibald. And you'll get a look at what life is like for us now as we figure out marriage and parenthood, Little Cruzy. And friendships, and definitely feuds. It's our real reality with and without cameras. And sometimes with special guests, like our celebrity friends,

former castmates, and other veterans of reality TV. So listen to and follow when reality hits with us, Jacks Taylor, and Brittany Cartwright. At Apple Podcast, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Do you watch the show's back that you're on? Always, yeah, with my family.

Yeah. Oh, that's sweet. I feel like you have, well, just from knowing you for a brief, what, 29 minutes, and from what you said about your family and how close you are, I would picture you all in a room just like enjoying it, being able to laugh about it, like being able to laugh at yourself. Is it just like, do you? you just have a good time watching it back because a lot of people struggle with watching things

back. Oh, no. I love it. I love it. I love taking the piss out myself. Like, if there's one motto that I've got, it's just, like, there's humor in everything. You've just got to find it. And what we do is we sit around my mum's and we sit on the sofa, we get some food like a takeaway or something, and we put the TV on and we all snuggle up. And you know, the, The one person in the family that always rewinds it, then rewatches it, then rewines it and then rewatches it is my dad. He's like my number one fan. He'll be like, whoa, whoa, whoa, be quiet.

I can't hear it. I can't hear it. And then he'll rewind it. He's so cute. That is really adorable. He loves it. My dad would have to actually like turn the TV off because he was like, oh my gosh, if I see you make out with one more dude and then talk about sex.

Like he was like, oh my God, which is. why I was laughing at you and your dad's conversation, like, talking about condoms and how it makes you last longer. And I was like, oh my gosh, I could never with my dad. Oh, my dad literally is the biggest sex best to my mom. And I've just been grown. I've just been brought up in a household where my dad is always, like, bending my mom over, smacking her balm, like grabbing her hair. And I think that's why I love just being open about it because it's nothing to be a change. of but then there's the other half like my nan and my my my granddad before he passed they wouldn't they can't they can't talk about sex it's like no off bounds yeah like there's

one half of my family that loves talking about it and this is the other half it's just like no we don't talk about that in here that's so funny yeah I guess that makes sense I the same thing like I was I remember being in trouble for even like talking about sex when I was I don't know 17. Like, okay, let's sit down and talk about it. And then now my mom can't believe because we'll talk about anything and everything. And she was like, I can't believe I like thought that was so wrong back then because then she saw, I got shamed so bad on TV for having sex.

And then she was like, I never wanted you to feel that way. So it's, it is nice when you can have that open communication with your family. You seem so confident and positive on shows. But I saw that you had posted about mental health. health on Instagram. So from like before you went on TV to now, has your mental health been affected in any way? Or do you make sure you stay on top of things to make sure it doesn't? I have dips. I do have dips. Like the past couple of days have been really hard for me. I don't know why. I think it's just, I've just being overwhelmed, you know, being overwhelmed with not

knowing what to do next. Knowing my capabilities and knowing what I want to do with my life. but then having restrictions because I've been on reality TV or because the world's got a perception of me like I really want to be a host and I want to have a documentary and I want to talk about addiction and like show the real stuff that's going on

you know and because I've been on so many Netflix shows and I've shown such a fun side about me it's really hard for me to just sit back and transition into what I actually want to do and it's just that god pigeonholed into Yeah. I feel like I have been pigeonholed a little bit. I mean, I kind of look at it in a positive way and a negative way. I try not to look at the negatives because obviously I'm in sobriety. So we kind of practice like gratitude and all of that. That really helps me grounded when I'm having bad days. Like yesterday I went to an AA meeting because I was feeling really down and I spoke to my family. One thing that I normally do is isolate myself and just like there'll be days where I'll just like stop eating because I'm so anxious.

But then, because I'm surrounded by, like, good friends and a good family, I just, I have to force myself to ring them if I'm going for it. Because it's so important for me to just get it out my system. Because once I speak about it, I feel so much better. Because it's like that's, you're only as sick as your secrets, you know? If you don't let it out, then, but yeah, my sobriety really helps me grounded. The AA meetings, I did a week retreat of inner child work. And when I came back and talked to my dad, so my dad has been sober for 30 years and he's been going to AA meetings for 30 years.

And it was actually really interesting talking to him about this inner child work that I did because it was a lot of similarities in just like, you know, spirituality and gratitude and certain things that you go through and steps that you learn of how to just, you know, take yourself out of certain situations and mental spaces and just how to actually like live your life. It's like a guidebook. Yes, it is like a guidebook of how to live your life. And my dad always said, and I said this on the podcast so many times because I love that my dad said this, but it also is so true. It's so sad that people have to, you know, somehow find a, to have a problem to get to A. Because A.A. is such a good guidebook of how to live your life. Yeah. So I love that you will, that you'll go to these meetings if you need to, you know, get it out.

And I think it's really important for people that are listening to. hear that because a lot of times people think it's a burden to, you know, tell somebody what you're going through and they don't want to be a burden or they just do want to internalize a lot because they're just like, I don't want to put this on other people. But your family and the people that love you are always going to be there for you. And it helps you get it off your chest. Yeah. I call it, I call it grasping myself up. So if my head's telling me like negative thoughts, I'm like, oh, I've got to grasp myself up and just tell someone. And then, yeah, nine times out of ten like today i've just sat in bed all day watched a bit of like shit tv i've had some

hot cheetos because i've got i've got a hot cheeto addiction i love them and i know and i'm just going to go to the cinema tonight of my friend and just have today and tonight for just myself because sometimes it can just get so overwhelming you know and even people that have a like a normal nine to five job sometimes it's really important to just switch off to like we ground yourself I used to have a nine to five job and I've had many I worked in a chip shop I worked as a customer service person people would shout at me all the time so people always say to me like like Chloe you don't understand what it's like and I'm like I do yeah yeah this isn't been something that you've been like you know doing your whole life to get towards TV you've

you've worked your nine to five's this happened for you and now you can relate to that And I want to say thank you for doing the podcast today because that's something I find really challenging. If I have anxiety and depression and some days I'm like, I don't know how I'm going to podcast today and have like be myself and and show up. And so and sometimes all you need to do is, you know, show up. It's that same thing of like going to the gym. The hardest part is getting your shoes on. But once you're there, you feel good and you're like, why, you know, why was I not going to do this? And so thank you for doing the podcast today because I'm sure you did probably.

want to just lay in bed and take the time for you. So that was very nice of it. Thank you. I'm glad I'm here. I'm glad I put the shoes on. Yeah, I'm glad you did do. I'm glad you did do. A lot of people actually,

my sister included, have been looking into ADHD. And you talk about your ADHD diagnosis, right? Yeah. So many people, so many people have been, you know, being diagnosed later in life.

And I'm just wondering how that journey's been for you because I think it'll benefit a lot of listeners to hear what you've gone through and how it's changed your life to even be diagnosed. Yeah, I mean, my mom tried to get me diagnosed when I was a lot younger, but she ended up getting my brother diagnosed.

And I, when I went to see a doctor when I was younger, we had all these, like, tests, and they came to our school, and they kind of looked at our behaviours. And my mum was told that I didn't have ADHD, that I was just like a, I don't know, like a not a misbehaved child but someone that just didn't listen

but I've come to realize that it was the stigma that women can't have ADHD and it makes me sick because there are so many like people think that ADHD is just hyperactivity and it isn't like I will have ups and downs

and I will feel really really depressed and then feel really really happy and it's not bipolar it's ADHD. I can't function my emotions. I can't understand my emotions sometimes. Like the emotional dysfunction that I have is my ADHD. And I see all these TikTok videos online and they're like,

oh, if you're running around, you're sitting in the morning, you have ADHD. And it's like, this is making people think that they have ADHD when they haven't. And it's spreading a stigma around it. So people, but I got diagnosed last year. My mum kept all of my diaries when I was younger. She wrote down my behaviours, my moods. And she wrote down everything.

She had like six different books that were filled with writing throughout my school years, my school reports. And she tried so many times to get me diagnosed when I was younger, but they just weren't having any of it. And I said to my mum, listen, it's fine. I obviously haven't got it. And then it got to a point in my adulthood where I moved out of home. I was, I was hit, it was like I was hit with like extreme depression and anxiety. I could pay my bills. I was always late being run.

I was turning up late to appointments, doctors appointments. It was like my life was a massive dysfunctional, chaotic environment and I just did not know what to do. So I spoke to someone in the industry and they said, Klo, like you've got ADHD, babe, like there's no fucking doubt about. it. You need to go and see someone. So I sat down with a specialist and I showed him all of the proof, facts, documentation and everything throughout my whole childhood and my adulthood. And he said only, I think, don't quote me on this, but I think it's only 40% of people who are diagnosed with ADHD in their childhood. Actually, it continues into that adulthood as

extreme as it did with me. And I didn't know that. Because sometimes when you get older, you don't grow out of it, but you kind of adapt to it. Right. But he said that I have both sides, which is the attention deficit, and then I also have the other side is combined ADHD. And he actually prescribed me tablets to take. Yeah. I took them for a couple of weeks and then I stopped taking them because it's crazy because

when I actually got the diagnosis, I stopped beating myself up and I stopped. getting angry at myself over stupid things and it gave me such acceptance over my my diagnosis that most of the problems that I had before have gone away wow it's just it's crazy how it works at having being diagnosed I can understand myself better as to why I act certain ways and why I feel certain emotions that my friends don't feel or but yeah why I need certain days to just you know what, I'm switching off from the world. That's really, though, that's really incredible, though, that just, you know, feeling seen and heard can actually help that much to just feel seen and to know and to give yourself grace and permission to have those days where you do nothing and not feel guilt or shame around it and just know this is what it is. That was, that's how I feel about when I'm hormonal, it gets really dark and really bad for me.

but even just knowing that that's like how did I not know for years i'm you know getting the same thing every month at the same time and i would just think i was bipolar or um like something was wrong and i was like oh my gosh it's hormonal and even um talking to a hormonal specialist made me realize that in those moments where i was having like out of body experiences and acting like uh like tantrums and depression and dark dark times i just knowing that what it was did help me as well so it's interesting yeah it's it's hope isn't it it's you stop beating yourself up yes because you understand it you're not a psycho most women think they are and it's like no we're not oh i know i know i'm like i wish i wish somebody could like be in a hormonal or ADHD

body for like five minutes during that time you know and just see um it's it's it's so sometimes stronger than you and that's okay and you know it's it's about learning about yourself and doing things like you are doing today for yourself on those days and i think that's some self-awareness is one of the biggest you know blessings that i've ever given myself is it is let's talk about your podcast before i let you go uh banging it was so good um when did you start your podcast and when does season two come out because you definitely have a new listener in me thank you i i fucking love it i'm not going to lie. I'm so biased because it's my own. But I think it was just like, I had a conversation with my dad and he went, Chloe, you love talking about sex. I just do it and get paid for it. I was

like, okay. So when did I start? I mean, I think I started last year. I loved every single moment of doing that podcast. It was like my therapy. Oh, just being able to speak to different people and understand like it's educational people think that certain podcasts aren't but they are in all aspects gave me so much awareness of other people in the world around me with the people that I was interviewing especially my dad yeah I know that season two will definitely be coming before the end of the year I can't say a date yet because I just want to make sure that I'm with the right production company and that located somewhere that feels like home because at the minute my life's so up in the air with waiting for my visa to come from

to America. I don't. I'm living month by month right now with my tenancy. So my landlord's like, are you moving? I'm like, I don't know yet. You need to wait. So as soon as I'm settled in America, I will, I will be filming series two. I love it. Well, I, if you have any podcasting questions offline, you can let me know. I've been podcasting for six years and I feel like there's so many things that people should know before you do sign with anybody. I'm totally here for all the help with moving or visa stuff. I'm Canadian, so I've had to deal with a lot of stuff as well. So, yeah, I'm here for you if you need any help with anything.

But I'm excited for season two of your podcast. I'm excited for everything that you're going to do and just, I don't know, there's just something about real people that I connect with who just like, you're like, yeah, I do like talking about sex. So I'm going to have a podcast called Bangin and it's hilarious. And I just love them. people are just authentic like that do what you want to do don't care about what other people think and just do you're doing it for you you know what i mean like it's what we're all wanting to do in

life is to figure out what makes us happy and get paid to do it so good for you i barely know you but i feel proud of you um before i let you go you have to give me a confession okay so when I was in quarantine I was one of my best friends and just before I walked into her bedroom I was having phone sex with this guy yeah I was looking for a vibrator I was like where is this vibrator I've lost it and then I was also going to get a remote and a phone charger and I walked into my best friend's room and I was about to ask her where the charger is, because my phone was going to die. I actually asked her, do you know where the vibrator is by accident?

And it was the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to us in our friendship. She was like, what? And this guy was like, do you share vibrators? You're not kidding. We, I would not picture you getting embarrassed over that. No, but because it was like, it was really new with this guy. and he looked at me on FaceTime and was saying, like,

why have you asked your breath for a vibrator? I was like, I'm so sorry. Like, I don't use myself. We've heard. I was so flabbergasted. Oh my God. Okay, wait, now I understand. You're embarrassed because he was on FaceTime

and heard you say that. I thought you were embarrassed because you asked your roommate and I was like, or your best friend. Yeah, okay, that makes more sense. Wait, I can't gloss over this for a second because I'm a very open person. I don't, I'm not really shy.

I kind of like takes a lot to embarrass me. Phone sex is something that I can't do. Give people advice for phone sex if they're listening and they feel the same way that I do. Okay. So it's okay for it to be awkward. It's okay for your laugh. It's not like what it is on the movies. Okay.

Your version of phone sex is going to be different to everyone else is. With me, make funny faces at the beginning and I'm like, should we? Should we actually do it? I kind of just instigate it as like a joke and then see how they respond. Because if they're up for it, then it's like, okay, well then you lead the conversation.

If I was really what you actually say to me or like, can you imagine what underwear I'm wearing right now? Just ask like really cute, flirtatious questions and then see how they respond to it because if they then start going, oh, you'll get me horning. then you're just like, okay, then I'm doing my job properly. Yeah, it's probably easier than you think it is.

I mean, just fucking do it. Just try it, try it out. And it doesn't have to be, oh, touch my, I'm touching myself right now. Are you touching me? Like, it doesn't have to be like that. Just like, have fun with it. But my fiancé leaves tomorrow for five days. I'm going to try.

Oh, do it. Please let me go out know how it goes. Okay, I will. I actually will. You're amazing. I just love talking to you and I can't wait to see what you do and I can't wait for season two of your podcast and all of the things. And when you move, let me know because I'm out in LA all the time. Oh my God. Thank you so much. I'll DM you on Instagram after this. I really appreciate you having me on. Oh my gosh. Thank you for taking the time, especially today. Now go take care of yourself. I will, I promise. I'm going to go cook myself dinner.

Yes. Okay. That's perfect. Enjoy. Thank you. I'm Kate LeBristow, and I'll see you next Tuesday. Thanks for listening to this week's episode of Off the Vine. Don't forget to rate, review, and follow on your favorite podcast platform. And we'll see you next Tuesday. All month long on Pluto TV, stream the biggest Tyler Perry movies free. Watch your favorites like Medea's witness protection and Medea's big happy family. Join Tyler Perry as he goes.

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