Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Peter Kraus: Dating, Dealbreakers, & Bachelor Nation

Episode Date: September 20, 2022

Franchise fan favorite, Peter Kraus, is joining KB for a long overdue chat to catch up on what he’s been up to, from running his business to his current (and former) dating life. Kaitlyn is not holding back as she asks the questions you all want answers to, including: Would he ever consider being The Bachelor? Has he spoken to Rachel since the show? Would he date a fan (AKA you… we see you in the DMs)? Peter is revealing behind the scenes info from his time on and after the show that Kaitlyn didn’t see coming, and he’s explaining what aspects of social media still impact him to this day. He’s also giving us his dating dealbreakers (so keep an ear out) and answering questions from the ole’ IG. So, get your earholes ready for a blast from the past as KB and Peter catch up and get real about Bachelor Nation.  Thank you to our sponsors! Check out these deals for the Vinos: PAIR EYEWEAR - Go to paireyewear.com/VINE for 15% off your first purchase. PROGRESSIVE - Quote at Progressive.com to join the over 27 million drivers who trust Progressive. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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This episode of Off the Vine is brought to you by Pair Eyewear. Go to pareeyeware.com for 15% off your first purchase. And Progressive. Quote at Progressive.com to join the over 27 million drivers who trust Progressive. Welcome to Off the Vine with Caitlin Bristow. Get ready to laugh, connect, and feel. Beal empowered with Caitlin and her guests as they sip wine, lots of wine, and get candid. They say vulnerability creates connection.

So save the highlight reel for Instagram because when we're among Vino's, there's no filter. It's time to unwind. Here's your host, Caitlin Bristow. Welcome to Off the Vine. I'm your host, Caitlin Bristow. Now, I feel like this guy doesn't need an intro because as soon. as I posted that he was coming on to the pod, y'all blew me up, okay? Zero chill. I love it. Peter Krause is here with me today. And don't you worry, Vino's, I get the answers to all your burning questions.

Has he been asked to be the bachelor? Would he be the bachelor now? Is he single? What really happened with him and Rachel? Will he date you? Well, actually, I can't answer that. Well, I kind of do actually in there. But we do talk about his dating life. I find out what he's looking for in a partner. and let's just get right into it because you're going to enjoy this full conversation with Peter Krause. Well, hello there. I'm going to, you're the one that has to be fun today. I'm sick.

This sucks. I don't know. Why you sit? I think I just like run myself down. It's my favorite thing to do to just like overwork myself and take things a little too far. And then be like, why am I sick? Why am I so tired? I don't know.

Yeah. I've been doing the same thing so I get that. Yeah. We're just little go-getters. Yeah. Wait. How else are you going to make things happen? I was going to do it for you.

So what have you been up to? Because I see you like Latin dancing and ballrooms competing. What is going on? Are you training for something? Is this for fun? Is it for charity? What is it? So my focus, first and foremost, is my GMs.

And every once while, if someone reaches out and asks me to do something, I'll just say yes. So this was a local organization reached out and asked if I would do a dance competition. And I've always wanted to take dance lessons. And I didn't realize it was going to be the commitment that it was. It was like eight or nine weeks of regular training. Yeah. But yeah, it was just for a charity event that was on Friday night. It's called the Rainbow Project, which is basically helping like underprivileged and traumatized or like at-risk youth in the area and helping them get help.

Wow. Oh, I love that. You've danced for a cause. You've always wanted to dance. and then you got to do it for a cause. You said it was a lot of work. You did, like, how many weeks? I think we did it for like eight or nine weeks,

but my partner lives in Chicago. And so I would either go down there for the weekend or she'd come up here for the weekend. So it's like all Saturday night, all Sunday morning, and then I had to get ready for work all Sunday. So it's like my summer just disappeared and going into this dance competition. Yeah, that's a big commitment.

And I know how hard that is to learn those dances. But it's hard to learn any sort of dance, number one. But I grew up dancing. I thought going into like ballroom dance, I would at least pick it up. But it's actually really challenging. Did you enjoy doing it? Did you feel like you fulfilled your dream of learning how to dance? Well, what's interesting is when you learn a routine, you learn the routine.

You don't necessarily learn how to dance. So because we had such like a crunch schedule and it was such a complicated routine. She made, first of all, my partner, Serena is like a professional dancer. She's been associated with dancing with the stars. She's very good. Wait, Serena? Serena. Yeah.

You may have met her somewhere along, I don't know. Well, I used to watch the show religiously, so. Oh, there you go. That sounds familiar. Okay, cool. Well, so she created a complicated routine because she knew that I apparently had, like, the skill set is what she said. Amazing. I don't know what that means, but I'll take it.

All right. Well, you obviously did if you could pull it off. Yeah. Well, barely, but. Were you so nervous when you went out there? Oh, my God, terrified. Well, I love that you took the time to come on my podcast because I know. know it's been so many years since you've been on the show, but you know how there's people out

there that just stay with you from a franchise or like, for example, I will still never forget this woman named Allison who was on like season two, a big brother when I was like 13 years old and I used to try and reach out to her as a fan. People just stick with you and you make an impact and you obviously did on so many people and Bachelor Nation just still roots for you, which I think is so cool because it's been so long and they still like when I said you're coming on the podcast, my Instagram question box was just flooded with questions. A lot of them were, will you date me? So if, if you want, I've got a lot of, yes, of course. Well, I mean, you sound like a yes, man. You're like, I have trouble saying now. It's true.

There you go. So maybe you will have your own little season of The Bachelor just on your own. There we go. We'll just do it off like, yeah, we'll do it on Hulu. Yeah, we'll do it on Hulu. And we'll call it something different. And there won't be roses. There will be dance shoes. Ooh. Yeah. This could be it today. Pettler. Petal. Petal. Oh, that doesn't sound good. That doesn't sound very nice. No. Wait. Doesn't have this important to. The Krausler. Is that better? That's not bad.

It sounds like a Chrysler. I like that. Yeah. Like a Chrysler. We had a Chrysler 300 at one point. There you go. See? So I was, I was laughing just how many girls said that they wanted to date you. But when you said that you were surprised that your name is still being thrown around out there. Now, I said it the other day on the podcast, and that's how this all came to be. I said, you for Bachelor. And I also said Sean Booth. And I also said someone else. Now I'm saying Avan.

But people still say you for Bachelor. Like, I hear it a lot. It's not just me saying that. So why are you surprised that people still throw your name around out there, just because it's been so long? I think that's part of it. Yeah. I think the main thing that I see is for just as much positivity that I see thrown out there, I see just as much negativity thrown out there about me being in a position.

Do you really? Oh, yeah. So, I mean, you know it from your own social media. What you get in hate, no one will ever see but you. That's true. So the hate is always in a very, like, hidden way, or maybe it just hits harder, and so we don't realize that it's as minimal as it actually is. Right.

But every time someone would say something good right underneath it, there'd be something doubly negative. Like, the angry people are always just that much more angry than the positive people, I feel like. Yes. the angry people are, I always say, are louder. Yeah, they definitely, yeah. So when I see that, I just like, yeah, I don't think people like me. No, LSLP, ladies still love Peter.

Wow, did you just make that up? I really did. And I thought I was going to fumble over it because I was like, is this going to make sense? LSLP? Yeah, yeah. That's pretty good. Thank you.

That's why I had a job. Okay, wait, I didn't understand. I didn't even know you still got negativity. Why are people, like, for example, when people, people hate on me. It's, wow, her face looks so damaged. She's gotten too much Botox filler. She looks ugly. She's getting old. I wish she would stop being on my TV screen. Like, yada, yada. Eat a cheeseburger. I've heard it all. Those are very specific. I've heard it all. But what would people hate on you for? Still from the season? Please tell me.

My character. That's always my character. Which is funny because it's like the one thing I've always tried to have the most control over, I guess, or, like, the most focus on, like, I tried to be a good human being. And so to hear people say, you know, he's a narcissist or he's gotten, he's racist a lot.

Like, Jesus. People, some of these things people say, yeah, like during the pandemic, some of the things where people were saying about me while my business was struggling, it's like, guys, I don't need this right now. It was, it was heavy. Oh, my gosh.

There's just always something out there about me as a person that I, because there's nothing else to attack. I don't know. Yeah. But so does it stem from your time on the show? Or is it, yeah, still. That's what it's all from.

Yeah, I definitely think so. Well, the only reason I have the following I had like 1,200 followers before I went on the show. Yeah. So to go upwards of 4,500,000 followers on social media. And that's where all hate is. Like, there's no hate in my real life, in my normal life. Everybody I talk to were like best friends.

Well, even if those haters saw you in. life they'd probably be nice to you that's the scary part right yeah it's very interesting how social media works like that but it is interesting now you took a different approach than most bachelor people when they come off the show you know a lot of people um utilize their social media whether that be for business or for attention or in any way that they do you know um but you kind of you you kind of went back to was it madison is that where you are and i know Wisconsin but yeah Madison you opened your gym or did you always have that gym. No, so I had a studio before. Okay. And I did in-home personal training. So, like,

when I, you know, the questioner, I asked you, what do you do? I'm like, a business owner because I didn't want to say I have an in-home personal training business owner with trainers underneath me. It's like that's a little ridiculous. So I just had business owner. And I opened up my gym in 2019, like my full gym. Awesome. Yeah. So you, did you ever have that urge to kind of chase that, you know, the social media world where you could, you know, grow. your following and do a bunch of crazy things and go hang out with Bachelor Nation and like what what made you just decide to kind of just go step back into where you lived and go do what you love to do?

I mean, I did a lot of fun stuff post show. Like I went to Vegas with Dean and Ben and like Ashley and Becca and all these people from the show that were part of IHeart. Yeah, I got to experience some cool stuff. I got to do a bunch of things here in Wisconsin with like the bucks and the packers. A lot of things that I really wanted to do. Oh, that's cool. I got to do my national boot camp.

So I started with boot camp here in Madison. And it was like, 450 people showed up. So I'm like, oh, this is a thing. People actually want to come to this. I'm going to try it in a different city. So I reached out to wedding venues all over the country and said, I will bring, you know, hundreds of young women to your space in exchange for a free occupancy. And I said, yeah, sure, do it.

So I took advantage of the popularity. way, shape, form. Yeah, but I always wanted to do it in a way where I felt like I was benefiting people and not hurting anybody. And so I also didn't want to put myself out there more. Like, it's risky being in the public eye like that. There's a lot of judgment. And I don't know, yeah, I just wanted to do my thing again, I guess. It is really risky. I will say that. I was going to ask you about this because this was probably the number one question that was asked in that box. And I'm sure you can imagine what it is. But people wanted to. to know would you be the bachelor if they asked you well so i i was asked originally

i figured yeah the answer for a long time was no for many reasons uh fear i think guided me a lot back then after i saw the negative feedback from the show not to be like all negative because there's so much positive too but yeah i do have trouble avoiding the negative comments like i'm such a perfectionist and so many of the things i do that i can control that that was out of my control and now no matter what i did there was going to be haters and it scared the shit out of me and it just let itself into my life, I think, a little too much. So eventually we did get to a point in conversations with the producers where I said yes and was willing to do it.

And we had come to some really good agreements and like, what would work for me? That still worked for them. And they ended up picking Ari like the following week. Oh, shoot. It was that close, huh? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it was pretty wild.

Yeah, I feel weird, like, talking about it sometimes because I don't want to act like, I'm in it for the attention, I guess, but I was there for Paradise, Bachelor in Paradise. Yeah, Bachelor of Paradise. Yeah. They were doing the season finale. And I was in the dressing room, basically, about behind it, waiting to be announced. Shut up. Yeah, that was pretty wild. And then what, wait, what was, so they, you were in the dressing room?

Yeah, there was a trailer out back and I was sitting in the trailer. and I was like talking to Carrie, he was getting my suit all ready to go, and the contract still wasn't signed, so I was just sitting there waiting. And, you know, I'm friends with all those producers, and so we had a good relationship, and they're just like, you know, something's come up. Let's just put this on hold for a day or two, and we'll announce you in a different way. And then I was like, okay, yeah, that's fine. Let's do that.

And then we got back to my hotel room, and Bennett asked me straight up, like, do you want to do this? I said, honestly, no. Like, this scares crap on me. I don't want to do this. But I think I would be stupid not to. Yeah. So I'm all in. And then Labor Day weekend happened.

And the following week, they said just go home and sit on it, think about it. And then on Tuesday or whatever it was, they announced Ari. And did they tell you they were announcing Ari? I got a message like right beforehand. Yeah. This is going to go a different direction. But it's okay. Like, I understand.

as a, I don't think they will realize how much money is behind these shows. Yeah. And how many people are behind that money too. Like there's so much going on in the background that at the end of the day, they have to protect themselves. It's just like me and my business. I protect my business first and foremost. I try not to hurt anybody in the process and not that they were hurting anybody,

but they understand that like people are so quick to talk. The moment they would have given me that information, I could have taken it anywhere I wanted and ruined it for them. That's true. That's true. They do always have a. a rhyme and reason for what they do like people drop their jobs and get rid of their apartment and you know go to be full in and then they can change directions and that's always like you know

that's part of the business right that's the risk right if you want to be a part of this show like people always say now like oh he's famous right I'm like no I don't think that that's the right term for being on that show I think you're right going on reality TV you are just yourself right yeah so you didn't really show like a certain I had no skill set that allowed me to be on that show, right? No talent. So it was just no, like I recommend as well, right? And so I think you realize going on to a show like that, you're at the mercy of the show and the fans of the show and the producers of the show and all that. And that's, that's part of it. That's like, you know there's me some instant attention, potential fame and

all that. And you have to take certain things because of it. Yeah, there's people out there that can definitely, like, thrive in that environment. And, and then there are people that it could hurt. Do you think if you were to have been The Bachelor over Ari, do you think, because it does come with so much backlash and so much negativity, do you think you would have been able to like thrive afterwards and be like, okay, this is what I did. And if you found your person, say, like, would you, do you think you would have felt good about that? Are you happy that that didn't happen? I think that's the biggest part of it is if I found my person. Yeah. That really does scare me about if the show is, if you don't find your person on that show, you're the bad guy.

You're the villain, potentially. And it's like, there may be millions and feelings of people accessible to us now, but just because there's 31 of them put in that place at the right time for you doesn't mean they're the right person for you. So do you think they should change the format of the show where you don't have to get engaged at the end? I don't think you have to get engaged. Like, no one ever said to me, like you have to get engaged.

like you have to get engaged. I think it's assumed. I think it's the expectations of the viewers, I guess. 100%. That's where most of that like negativity and I guess like hate came from was the viewers. The producers never said like, yeah, you have to do this or you have to do that. So like the things that we talked about that I wanted to be slightly different was more access to the women in their daily lives. So I wanted to see when someone's not prepping for two or three hours to come out on a date and it's putting on a certain show potentially.

I don't know what they're like in reality. As much as the show, you know, tries to promote love and opportunity for love and all that, there is a very specific, like, setting that you're in, I guess, right? It's not a daily life. So I want to be able to, like, just walk into the house and catch people off guard and, but hey, what's that? I'm Peterhouse going. Yeah.

Yeah. So I never felt pressured from the production side of things. Like, that had to be the case that you get engaged at the end. Yeah. I think that probably comes towards the end when, you know, that's usually the expectation of the, the viewers, but also the people coming on for you. I think people expect to get engaged at the end. And I now I'm realizing there's, you know, there's so many rational people on this season that were like, wait, I actually don't know if I'm ready for an engagement, but I do see myself with her outside of this. And it became this whole thing where Rachel was like, no, I want to be engaged. and Gabby was like, well, I came for an engagement and some of these guys were realizing, like, yeah, I'm totally, like, I'm ready with you to move on and I want to be ready to propose, but like they all started being really rational about it. Yeah. And it was interesting because I started thinking, what is, like, everybody knows the format of the show is to get engaged at the end. And a lot of people, I mean, a lot of viewers I saw online would be, you know, annoyed if they were like, come on, you know the show.

You have to get engaged at the end. And a lot were like, yeah, why do they have to get engaged? at the end. And then a lot we're like, well, do they have to? Yeah. Just ask the question first. Why does someone get engaged? Because they see a forever. Okay. What if you're not completely sure in it yet? Exactly. But you see a forever. Like, wouldn't you want that person to then experience a little bit more of that person? Like, get to know them a little better. Right. I'm. I don't understand the mindset. Like, in order to prove your love, you have to get engaged. I truly do believe to the stay. Like, if you get engaged, I would like it to be the one and only time that I get engaged because it's the precursor to marriage.

Yeah. And so if that's, I'm on my second. So it happens. It does. And even if I would do it, it's not saying it's the forever. Even if I didn't do it, it's not saying that it wouldn't happen twice thereafter, right? Right. So there's no like rule behind it. I just knew for myself that I didn't have all the information that I needed yet to make a lifelong serious decision like that. Yeah. And I think that's totally fair. I think so. I thought it was very just. realistic really so uh if you're like me a k a style icon your style is constantly evolving and uh hey i would say it's time for your glasses to start keeping up and that's why pair eyewear really is the perfect solution i just got a bunch of different frames from pair they're so freaking cool okay here's the deal so you can virtually try on glasses from your computer when you go to their website which is amazing and they have plenty of lens options to choose from blue light sunglasses glasses, readers, light response, lenses, and more. And you can choose your base frames.

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Pear provides glasses to a child in need. I love that. Get glasses as ever-changing as you are with pair. Go to pair-eyewear.com slash vine for 15% off your first purchase. That's 15% off at Pear, P-A-I-R-I-Ware.com. People like that show to be. be like a fantasy world you know where it's we start as strangers we fall in love we have a little fight some ups and downs but we come over it and we meet families and we have sex and then we get

engaged and then we get married and everything's great and then we have babies and we're all Sean and Catherine yeah if only ever that easy well one thing that I still uh I guess shocked people with in conversation today is the actual amount of time that I had with Rachel was way less than I think people realize. How much time would you say you had with her? I think a total like 36 hours. 36? I've done the math. Yeah. I think it's it's like 36 maybe upwards of like 40 hours altogether. Yeah. I never like to say things out of too late now, but. Well, I talk about this stuff on my podcast all the time. Like you're probably not saying anything that people don't already know from me because I am too much of an open book. I get myself in trouble sometimes. But that is

the thing. And yes, it's dating on steroids. or whatever you want to call it. Like you are having more serious conversations. You are meeting each other's family. You are like just like in a pressure cooker of a relationship. But even still, you don't have that proper time to be like immersed in each other's lifestyles and see the good and bad days. And yeah, like God, I was, you know, I'm like a nightmare once a month.

But people didn't get to see that. You know, like I'm put on this pedestal of. like I'm so great and there's nothing. But lately, I feel like they're not really doing their leads justice or a favor here. I would want to know, you know, now as the world is changing, people are coming out with the cancel culture and information that they will dig up on you

and X's coming out and saying things. If they ask you today to be the next bachelor, what would you say? Well, that's a hard-hitting question. Well, the paper. want him you you know at least i know now i admit that i was probably very uh oblivious to the reality of the show before going on to it i just assumed like oh it's all be like sunshine and rose it's a great opportunity like yeah why not do it'll be fun yeah um terrifying looking back at it sometimes

but i understand there are certain things that will come with being in that level of like fame and attention like you are the face of the biggest reality tv franchise that's out there right there's millions of viewers and everybody has their own opinion. So I think I'm at a better headspace now based on all things I've done for myself over the last five and a half years. I was already starting this like therapy journey before that. Yeah. But I really had to hit it like full on afflifax. There's just so much going on in my life post show. And I wasn't emotionally ready to handle it. Like I just, it's not that I was emotionally weak. I'm just a very emotional person. So it was just a lot to handle. So now then I'm in a better place and stronger as a,

a person, I think. I'd talk about it. Yeah. I'd say it would or wouldn't, but I'd talk about it. I love it. I think people would, well, I mean, if my off the vine page has any sign into what you, what you should or shouldn't do, they, everybody wants you for Bachelor. And I think it would, I think a lot of people would.

I think it would be, I think it would be great. And I, like you said, like working on yourself before going into something like that, like being in such a solid place for yourself is a huge help. I did it. Yeah? Oh my gosh. I was like the most rock bottom of my life before I went on that show. And I...

Before. Yes, before. Interesting. Why is that? Oh, gosh. That's a whole other podcast. But it was just like one of the worst times of my life. And I had to... It went through a really horrible breakup.

And I had no job. I had no education. I had no money. I was living on my parents' couch. It was just awful. and I started doing like really deep therapy and I did that for about a few years and then I got cast to go on the show and I was like I could not be in a better position to take on something like this now little did I know it would take me down again oh yeah oh yeah but because of what you had done prior you were that much stronger for it imagine you're going out without doing all that work beforehand I cannot imagine I had you know as they say the tools and understanding and I was able to, you know, just jump back into therapy and get back to where I needed to be. But, yeah, it was that show, it took me out of the knees.

I feel like it does for a lot of people. It's, it's emotional. I'll say that. It's emotional. What is it interesting? Like, you went to therapy originally because of a relationship that had obviously not worked out. Right. We come off the show and the majority of the stress and trauma that comes from that show is personal related.

Like, it's other people causing that emotional pain and whatever it may be. everything relates back to people so the moment life changed for me was when I started to realize that that saying of hurt people hurt people has never rang more true and it was that I wasn't a bad person I wasn't doing wrong I wasn't hurting others what I was doing was not fulfilling the needs that were unmet by a hurt person from the hurt that they received somewhere else in life oh shit so if that was the case I could do nothing to help them Yes. Other than being just a confident, strong person who I am and letting them know that they can't hurt me.

They can try all they will, and there are certain things that they can certainly, like, talk about my personal life that I'm, like, I'm not a perfect person by any means. So there's going to be things that will still, like, when I look at them, I was like, I wish they were better. I wish I could do better in this area or that area. But at the end of the day, it's like, I'm my life, their life. And like, we may cross paths in some way, but I'm not going to take your life into mine and allow it to affect me. yeah yeah and so once i figured that out like life changed completely all that hate and all that i was like damn i just feel bad that like you can't find a happier outlet like right i wish that there is a way that you could find the therapy and the help that i found

or the support that i found to read the books that i've read that helped me get to this point and i've still got a long ways to go obviously but these people like i everyone just needs a little bit more love a little bit more understanding and when i got to that point it changed changed big time for me. Yeah, I think that's probably like one of the biggest life lessons to learn. So the fact that you figured that out. And I do think that would, they just need someone like who has done that self work and has the like self-worth and the strength mentally and emotionally and is able to be emotional, you know, like express feelings and be emotional, but also be logical. and realistic and I feel like that would make for a great bachelor but well I think people forget just the

scientific side of it all too like when you're on that show you're sleep deprived yeah at the time that I was on it people were drinking probably a lot more than they do now I don't know yeah you're stressed out you're eating at irregular times like all these hormonal changes that happen play a great role in your emotional output as well so when it comes down to these dates and like you haven't eaten in seven hours you can be a little more emotional than if you had just eaten a great quality meal full of carbohydrates and proteins and like you're able to have the energy to understand right it's so people forget about like the actual physical side of it in that too yeah and being removed from your people that ground you the your friends your family like everything like that it's it really does

all take a toll and then I mean think about that for you know some people it's two weeks some people it's four weeks some people it's eight weeks like it's it just gets harder and harder and your emotions get more invested and it's it really is just a recipe for a lot of feelings definitely is. And that's why it makes for a great TV. And exactly. And that's why we're still watching while I am. Anyways, what about Paradise? Would you ever do Paradise? No, I don't think so. Yeah. Okay. Fine. The overall crowd seems young.

Yeah, they are. They are very young. That's fair enough. That's fair enough. Is there anyone from Bachelor Nation who you still are friends with? Oh, yeah, a bunch of people. Talk to Dean just a couple of days ago. I love what he's doing out there right now. He's just, like, traversing the entire world, seeing the coolest things. I know. And I don't think people like respect his artistic ability, I guess, as much as he'll do. Some people do it, but other people should. Yeah, he is really, really talented.

Very. But yeah, so talk to him, talk to Alex, talk to Diggy. I went golfing with Diggy this summer. That was a lot of fun. Oh, nice. Yeah, Diggy's a dad now. So we were talking about that. Is he?

Talking to Josiah. Josiah is a dad now. So just really crazy to see how much things have changed in five years for so many of these guys. Oh, yeah. I mean, five years is so one of my best friends. Really? Yeah. That's nice.

Yeah. Do you feel like five years goes by so quickly, but a lot happens in five years. A lot. A lot. Yeah. Is there anyone in Bachelor Nation if they became the Bachelorette that you would ever consider going back on the show for? I don't know anybody. That's the thing.

I just know, like, people I've watched one or two episodes ever. And that was it. But you are single right now, right? Yeah, I'm single. Yeah. imagine you weren't and then you became The Bachelor and then all that dirt came out like there's stuff right now going on with Eric his ex-girlfriend is coming out with all these text messages and we'll see on the finale but I know it's going to happen there where there's a messy situation and all this stuff just happens and it's like if you go on the show I feel like especially now you have to know that people are going to dig up dirt on you. so you either address that dirt before you go on the show or you deal with the repercussions of it coming out like well okay here's a perfect example i was just talking to a class goer like a client yeah she was out one time in like our downtown area out to dinner and some woman walked in and said you know i heard that you were dating peter and she's like no never dated peter uh but my friends supposedly had so that night this girl went on line or whatever and messaged oh okay weekly or whatever it's called us weekly yeah us weekly yeah sure and

basically message them and said like you know i have this inside scoop about peter which was not even sure and that's like the most simplest thing it was just some random girl that happened to be a client at one point or something like that but it just goes to show you can never cover all your bases you can never control other people's thoughts and actions and there's people who are going to see your level of fame increase or attention increase and they want that or they need that or they feel like because you didn't pick them they have to make sure that you can't be on the winning end pretty much right right so no matter what this is another thing i've had to do is release control of so many things in life the moment i could realize that no

what you do people are going to still feel some kind of way about you or do certain things like that help so yeah this guy who knows that like it could may actually be some girl that he has no association with anymore that just felt like she needed to have her peace right yeah it's true It's true. I'm trying to always look at every side of so many things because I dated a guy before I went on the show. I was dating someone and I don't think that's a bad thing because. Isn't the law the show is? It's dating. But that's, so Jason said something to me yesterday. He was like, yeah, but you know, you can't be dating people before you go on the show. I was like, but that's silly. You go on the show to date a bunch of people.

Yeah. Like obviously. Well, the whole point in relationship is discover. You're discovering if this person is a good friend, a good colleague, a good coworker, or, well, same thing, but like a good spouse, whatever may be. So in the process of going to that show, you needed to do some practice. And if that practice is actually dating others, it makes sense to me. Well, and when that show came in and I was dating this guy, obviously it made me realize, oh, I actually don't see this guy in my future because I wouldn't be able to go on this show if I saw that. So I had to break up with him. Yeah.

I broke up with him and I went on the show Now that would have been in his hands to then go and be like I was dating Caitlin before the show and send pictures and show our text messages and that would have made me look like

a complete asshole Oh my ex did that Oh did she? Yeah heck yeah Wait She and I had been dating at one point in time broke up because it was very toxic and it's just interesting how

she needed to have her two cents and for a long time I hated her for doing it I was very angry I messaged her the day that I saw it come out and was like, why would you do such a thing? Right. You can have just talked to me directly and now looking back and I was like, that was her way

of dealing with it and she didn't know any other better way at the time. And while it sucked and I still deal with the repercussions now, it's like, I can't do anything about it now. It's in the past. Forgive her for it and hope that she's happy now. Yeah, that's all you can do. That's the same thing I'm thinking about Eric, whose girlfriend is in our ex-girlfriend is coming out saying all these things.

I'm like, who am I to tell this woman that she can't have her side of the story or that she can't express her feelings and how she's feeling? And everyone's like, well, why now? And it's like, well, maybe this is like her way of healing. And maybe she wanted her side of the story out. And sometimes that is healing. But I don't think it's bad that he was dating a girl before he went on the show because you don't know what that show is going to do to you. You could go on and be like, I actually don't have any feelings for this person. I'm glad I like set that up for success when I get home because this is what I thought it was.

Yeah. But when you get there and if you completely have this, you know, instant chemistry and there's these helpable feelings and there's the and you're like, wow, I actually am going to. And you fall in love with this person. Then yeah, you went to the show for the right reason then because you wanted an opportunity and you thought falling in love would be a bonus. And you left that person behind and that clearly wasn't your person. And that, you know, I just, I try and see all sides to every story. But. yeah it's it's a lot i can't tell you how many stories i've heard where people go on a date with their then spouse and it's a double date with another pairing and the opposite people connect in that date and next thing you know they end up dating yeah and while it's not like the most ideal way to fall in love can you fault someone for finding love and being happy like what is wrong about being happy in your own way yeah finding happiness your own way and i do believe like you shouldn't hurt anybody intentionally at any point in life that's that's the one key is like if you make mistakes hopefully we can forgive people for doing that yeah so long as those people are not intentionally

doing and even if they didn't intentionally trying to understand that they themselves are coping with something that they haven't yet figured out the like rhyme or reason for yet yeah so I think so not a lot of empathetic people on the internet and for this girlfriend to come out and do that publicly I don't think it is appropriate but like you're saying go to him Like, go have that conversation with him, not reality, Steve. And then if, right, if you have that conversation and it doesn't go as planned or he denies all, then he probably pissed and I can see coming out and doing something. Totally.

I think that communication does not happen in many areas of our life as much that probably should. Oh, I mean, yeah, that's therapy 101 right there. Yeah, it's so true. This episode of Off the Vine is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Now, let's face it, sometimes multitasking can be overwhelming. Like when your favorite podcast is playing, the person next to you is yip yapping, your car fans blasting, all while you're just trying to find the perfect parking spot, okay? But then again, sometimes multitasking is easy, like quoting with progressive insurance.

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quote at Progressive.com to join the over 27 million drivers who trust Progressive. progressive casualty insurance company and affiliates comparison rates not available in all states or situations and prices vary based on how you buy hi guys i'm teresa judeyce and you know me from the real housewives in new jersey and now you'll know me from my new podcast namaste bitches with my co-host melissa feister what's up you guys i'm melissa feister and teresa and i are talking about everything love life relationships yes sex, food and family. We are getting into it all.

It's a real look at my life when the cameras aren't rolling. But don't worry, we'll be talking about all that TV step too. So follow, rate, and review, namaste bitches now at Apple Podcasts, Spotify, wherever you get your podcast. questions for you. Like, would you date a girl that was a fan of yours from the show? Unknowingly, I actually have. And so it's, yeah. As long as they're not weird about it. Yeah. Right. What about after you started dating, you find out like this happened, but she slid into your DMs back in 2017 when you were on the show. I don't know. She's a good person. She's cute.

She's in a fitness. I guess we all find her love in different ways. Yeah, that's true. That's true. Okay, what if she's always late when meeting up with you? Oh, I don't care. I'm always late, too. Oh, okay, great. I'm a busy human being. It's like I am always pushing too much into my schedule and then apologizing all the time. Same. Okay, what if she doesn't like dogs? Oh, my Daisy, I guess. I'm kidding. I was like, no. She just looked right at me like, what? I heard you. No, that would be a deal breaker for sure. What if she's a Chicago Bears fan?

Oh, yikes. It would add a level of excitement to our relationship. There would be a lot of shit talking, which would be a lot of fun. See, I think so, too. It's just about, I think at the end of the day, I always have to remind Jason this. Like, it is a game, football is a game. I get the passion. I'm like that with hockey, but, like, it can't ruin relationships.

Or your day. I can't believe how many people would just hate the rest of the day or the week or whatever it is because their team loss. I'm like, all right, cool. That was like entertainment for two hours. on to the next thing. I told Jason he has two hours. Whenever he's that upset, I'm like, you have two hours to be upset. And then, then we got to move on. Then we got to move on. Before I let you go, we just have a couple questions from the Vino's, which I call, that's what I call

my listeners. There are so many. But people were just excited to hear from you. I feel like we answered a lot of these questions already, because a lot were, would you be the bachelor? But somebody wanted to know, did you date Vanessa after her and Nick broke up? Vanessa from the show, no. Oh, you didn't know? No. That was a rumor? Yeah, it's like any rumor out there, I guess. I guess so. Well, some rumors are true. No, I was in Seattle one time and hung out with her and, oh God, Taylor.

Oh, yeah, Taylor, yeah. That's fun. We did a paint night. Yeah. Okay. Has he ever dated anyone else from Bachelor Nation since leaving the show? Bibiana and I went on a few dates. I didn't go so long.

Oh, yeah. I remember seeing that. Yeah. That didn't end so well. Oh, shoot. What is just not meant to be? I found her very attractive. We had a good time together and just had a different idea of certain things in life.

And so it, yeah. Oh, you win some, you lose some. Yeah. Have you talked to Rachel since the show? Yeah, actually, a couple times. Oh, that's nice. All through Instagram. Yeah.

But, like, there was a, there's time during when the Black Lives Matter, we're just doing, like, a walk through downtown. Yeah, yeah. Right? and I just asked her a couple questions. I was like, this is out of my know-how based on some of the questions that people are asking me. Can you help me? Can we have a conversation about it?

So she and I just talked about it back and forth for a little bit. She was very sweet, very kind about it. And we had a good conversation. That's awesome. Oh, that's nice. Yeah. I love hearing that. Okay.

Someone said, what happened between him and Rachel for real? Because this person believes that what we saw on TV wasn't for real. So I've never watched the season in its entirety. Really? Yeah, I've watched like bits and pieces of it here and there. I assume most of what was shown was reality. I think there's conversations that probably happened off camera or on camera. I just weren't fully shown.

Yeah, yeah. But, no, we really did reach an impasse of what we wanted at that point in time. Yeah. And gosh, she really did just want Brian. Like, I'll never forget. We were in Dallas, and it was Eric and Brian and I still. left. And I was pissed. Like the three of us were forced to have conversations. Yeah. In the hotel room, whatever it's called, um, while like getting ready to get engaged with

the next few days pretty much. And I had a conversation with Eric. And as I walked out the door, there's Brian and Rachel making out up against the wall in the hallway as I opened the door. I was like, wow. This is the girl I'm supposed to get engaged to in, you know, 36 hours, whatever it is at this point a week. That's, that's such a. That's such a. mind. Like nowhere in reality would that be normal? No, never. Easy to get past. Yeah, no. It was, she was doing the right thing at the moment. She 100% was fulfilling her needs in being the Bachelorette and finding love for herself. Yep. And as contestant on the show, your love is in a way almost secondary to that person finding theirs. So it's like she was doing

what she needed to do. And when I came out and saw that, it just completely changed my mindset. I was like, what the, this is weird. I'm struggling even more. I was already struggling a ton of that point. But to see that, it's like, oh, this is gut-wrenching. It is gut. It's, it's, it's, I don't say more than gut-wrenching. Like, it's, it's one of those moments in your life that, like, shatters your hopes and dreams.

And that, like, probably is part of trauma in your life. Yeah. Oh, there's so many things from the show that are still probably left to be unpacked, right? Yeah. Mm-hmm. Because there's little things like that. at all time. There was another time where she and I had a hot tub

like opportunity where we just like we're chatting in the hot tub, made out in the hot tub. Yeah. And then I didn't get the date rose, which at the time was like, that doesn't make any sense because I didn't understand the premise of the show. I didn't realize that like you have to give it out to certain people based on the show itself. And so that hurt. I was like, wait, I don't understand.

Like we just had this awesome, very like unique moment compared to the rest of the contestants. Why is that not being? like rewarded if you will right so that as just like a oblivious person created a little bit of a mind but then the very next day she went on a date with eric and or maybe i think it's eric and did another hot tub date and was back in the hot tub and all the guys like what the so like little things like that are a part of the show that in reality would make you question the relationship a million times and probably even leave the relationship because that in normal life would not be

okay, really screws with your head when you're trying to be like, oh, yeah, I can get engaged to this person. Well, what if that's how they are in real life? It's okay. The foundation, that's the foundation that you're starting on, which makes there's zero trust. If you take it back to like the most simplistic level of the first people you know in life or your parents or just your like parental figures and you develop a level of trust in your like ultimate protections versus like your safety, your health and your happiness. If any one of those is taking from you, your foundation is, you know, like rocky or even ruptured. And so if you can't build a relationship in your adult life with those three basic things,

it's never going to work. Yeah. And that was questioned constantly on that show. And so now, especially an emotional person, I think I am, it's like it added that much more difficulty and challenge to like, okay, this will work in the future. This makes sense. I should do this, which is the engagement. Right.

So then fast forward to hypothetically speaking, you are the bachelor. and there's three people left and you have feelings for all of them and you are kissing all of them and you are falling for all of them maybe even three maybe two how would you make sure that you had that solid foundation once you did possibly get engaged to the one when you can understand all those feelings that the other person's having I mean the conversations have to happen with that person for sure yeah I think that's what like the overnights are important like she and I talked all night long about anything and everything and I think that's truly important because you're removed from the rest of the group.

You're removed from even just that thought of the camera there. You can be much more vulnerable when there's no one listening. Do you think it's important to set the boundary if you're going to sleep with other people? Do you think that should be known or do you think that's something private that is only for you to know? I think everybody just needs to live life in the moment. Like if the moment comes up and you're feeling a certain way about somebody and you're like, I'm going to sleep with this person. It just makes sense.

and you didn't have the conversation with the other people in advance, I don't think you should be faulted for that. If you can have that conversation because you're planning to do it, that's a different story. But also if you're planning to have sex with someone are the intentions beneficial, right?

Or is it? So I think just, if you end up sleeping with all three of them, it must have felt right in the moment. And I hope that you can have conversations all three and be honest with all three or two of them or the one person, whatever it is. Yeah.

And what last question, And this is, again, from Avina, what is the biggest misconception about him? It has bothered me is that so many people say, you know, he's just a pretty face or he's just a hot guy. Yeah. I'll never forget. This is an interesting point in my life. I was like 13 or 14 years old. I was in middle school.

And I remember laying in bed, crying myself to sleep because I didn't feel like I was attractive or intelligent. And I was praying to God in that moment saying, if I can be anything, let me be one of the two. And I worked so hard for so many years to get really good at certain things, be it art or dance or what is my education, but in a different route. Like, I was never good at school, but I learned about things that I was passionate about, which became nutrition and fitness. And so I've, like, thrown myself into being as intelligent of a person as I can possibly become based on my skill sets, like what I'm good at. I'm not good at memorization, but I'm good at learning from a lot of people, a lot of good conversations. I have a lot of great conversations in my life. And I try to ask a lot of questions.

I ask as many questions as I possibly can. And so they constantly see people saying like, oh, he's just, like my ex actually said this one time. Like, he's just a pretty face. No one actually hires him because he's good at what he does. And that really hit me. I was like, you know what? No, I'm actually really good at what I do.

Yeah. And I'm actually a very smart person. And I pride myself in my intelligence. And there's a lot of things that I still have yet to learn, but I know I'm not dumb. and am I an attractive guy? Sure, some people can think that. You know, I like the way I look, I guess.

But I don't think it is my only skill set, if you will. No, it's the least interesting thing about you. Thank you. Yeah. The Delsackies guy. Yeah, I think that is a good. I got that a lot in school or outside of school because I went into like a restaurant business and I kept doing all the jobs that like only good looking girls would do.

like I auditioned for like beer commercials and I was a bartender and I was a beer cart girl at a golf course and then I almost convinced myself I wasn't smart enough to do things and then I done the same yeah yeah and then you start getting to know yourself and having different conversations in your own head with yourself right and therapy of course and then you're like wait I'm awesome yeah one thing it's starting to realize like okay the perceived type of intelligence that you need to be to be socially accepted as like an intelligent person doesn't have to be fat so like you can be smart like there's street smarts there's intellectual capabilities and there's intelligence and I think they're all very different like I consider myself more be a

smart person like I just have experienced a lot in life and can take things from those yeah like I was not great at school there's nothing wrong with that like we can all be smart or intelligent in our own different ways and I think that really helped nobody knows what pie needs to equal to get through life. It does help on pie day though because I always got whooped on that. I was like seven digits deep. Like, yeah, I forget. 3.142.

I don't know. Jason tries to teach me math sometimes. And I go, I don't care. I just don't care. But, okay, so for people who go visit, can they come just do a drop in at your gym or what does your gym set up look like? Because we're going to come there again for a Green Bay Hackers game. So I want to come.

Well, I'll say there's potentially one being opened up in that general area very soon in the next year or two. Exciting. But I've got three here in Madison and they're a combination of 24-hour access and classes. Amazing. So two of them have just the classes. The third one has the class space there, but I'm not ready to like invest in that level of things because that's the hardest thing to promote and build. Yeah, totally. 24-hour access is available to anybody.

If someone wants to come and just work out, they're more than welcome to for free. If they want to take a class, their first two are free. So I just try to get people in there and being a good, helping. helpful, like, healthy community space and let people have fun. That sounds like a gym I would want to be part of. There's a lot of gyms that do it the wrong way where they're like bougie and clicky and they all like do weird stuff where I'm, there's this gym called TrueMath in Nashville where I'm like, I just feel good when I walk in those doors and everyone's high fiving and everyone's just good energy and everyone wants to support each other and I just love it. I think one thing I still have to do better at is getting my voice and message out there to the people that come. into the gym. Like, I know what I believe in and how I feel. I don't know if everybody else

sees that or understands that. So as I build my business, I'm trying to get my brand into the name itself, if you will, like me as a person, because everybody's like, Peter, you need to be teaching all the classes or you need to be there all time showing face. Like, no, that's not how business works. Like, I am only one body and there's already three gyms. What happens when there's 10 or 20? Exactly. So I just need to make sure that my stamp is on the gym a little bit better, I think. But there's a big stigma. I've already. heard where people are very intimidated of the space. Really?

Yeah, I think I got to work on changing that. Well, how do you change that? Because I feel you should put more like fun videos out of what happens in your classes. Yeah, stuff like that. People are always intimidated by a gym, though. Absolutely. And especially like a class that's based around strength training. A lot of people are intimidated by weights and strength training.

That's why like I think spinning is great because people can just show up and get on the bike and go whatever speed or pace or tension. they want no one knows versus if you're lifting a 10 pound weight next to someone else's 25 pound weight you feel less than but in reality you're just doing your version of it so I I lift weights and I am actually I've gotten very very strong over the last few years and I still like could never lift the same weight as somebody else next to me because I'm just different I'm built different I am like and I think that's okay but yeah there is different whatever may be goals are different yeah I think that's a that's a good point well good luck with everything

Thank you. Yeah. If anybody's listening and they're intimidated by weights, I was too. But you just got to do it once. And then you feel like a badass. You really do feel like a badass. Like it's amazing how you'll feel after the fact. It's true.

It's true. I wore Bill's shirt, but go pack. Which I realized because Jason kept saying go packs. And I was like, no, no, no, no. Go pack. They're actually playing in Buffalo this year. Are they really? Uh-huh.

When? I want to say like November. Ooh. Let's go. Let's all go. I would be so down for that. Okay. Well,

because he's a huge bills fan, right? Huge. Yes. Does he and Bennett talk all the time about it? Yes. All the freaking time. It's, even when I was hosting those two seasons,

like Bennett was like talking to me about the bills. I was like, Bennett, I'm not Jason. I don't care. I don't care. I really don't care. I do care about the bills,

but not as much as they do. It's fair. Oh, that's funny. Well, thank you for coming on. Yeah, of course. feel like it was so nice because I feel like people really don't hear enough from you and it's nice to hear just what you have to say and

you're very emotionally intelligent and just a smart guy. Well, I thank you. I appreciate that. You are as well. Yeah, I know. It was a great conversation. Thank you for having me on. I appreciate it. I'm Caitlin Bristow. I'll see you next Tuesday. Thanks for listening to this week's episode of

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