Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Rachel Lindsay: Hot Takes, Helpful Tidbits and a Few Hard Truths

Episode Date: January 25, 2022

Kaitlyn goes full interview mode with Rachel Lindsay who shows up for a real and honest conversation about all sides of herself. Rachel shares how she constantly feels like she is misunderstood, what has transpired over the past couple of years in Bachelor Nation since her interview with Chris Harrison and what is she is most proud of from that conversation, how women are constantly sexualized and how the lack of desire to be intimate needs to be normalized, how she is constantly underestimating things, and how she is INVESTING in all parts of herself for this year. Rachel has her hands full with approximately 5 jobs (and she wants 2 more) but that didn’t stop her from writing her book “Miss Me With That” which she produces into an audio book and shares that it was much more of an emotional experience than she anticipated. But Rachel makes sure we get to “hear” that hilarious side of her with something that reinforces her fear of Chiropractic services and gives us her take on “hit” or “miss” on a random list of daily life things. You can find Rachel on IG at @therachlindsay PROMISED LAND - Tensions will rise and the drama will flow on Promised Land, Mondays at 10/9 Central on ABC and stream on HULU. AWAY - Start your 100-day trial and shop the entire Away lineup of travel essentials at awaytravel.com/vine. OSEA - Get 10% off your entire first order with promo code VINE at OSEAmalibu.com. SAKARA - Sakara is offering my listeners 20% off their first order when they go to sakara.com/VINE or enter code VINE at checkout. PELOTON - For a limited time, try the Peloton App free for 2 months, then $12.99/month after. New Members only. Visit onepeloton.com/app to learn more. PROGRESSIVE - Get a quote today at Progressive.com. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Tensions will rise and the drama will flow on promised land. Mondays at 10.9 Central on ABC and stream on Hulu. Away, start your 100-day trial and shop the entire away lineup of travel essentials, including their best-selling suitcases at awaytravel.com slash vine. Osea, get 10% off your entire first order with promo code Vine. at Oseaamalibu.com. Sakara. Sakara is offering my listeners 20% off their first order

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Get a quote today at progressive.com. Hey, everybody. You're listening to Caitlin Bristow's podcast, Off the Vine. Take it away, Brie. Wine. Lots of wine. Hey, B, on the mic, turn it up. Let's go. Hey, ramen. Pino. Ready for the show.

Everyone's welcome. So come on in because OTV it's about to begin. Hey. Welcome to Off the Vine. I'm your host, Caitlin Bristow. And we've got the Rachel Lindsay on the mic today. She's just such an inspiration. I was so excited to speak with her. We catch up on life, how she's juggling like a billion,

cajillion, one trillion things. a time always wanting another job gosh i relate to that never enough including releasing her book which comes out today her favorite essays of the book her podcast higher learning her experience in bachelor nation what she learned from her interview with chris harrison how we can come together to make a change and how she's doing with brian and they're not one but two dogs co-parenting during covid i can honestly listen to her talk for days i know you guys are going to love this episode i just adore her so enjoy rachel hi

hey girl hey how are you how are you feeling because I was listening to your podcast and you had the COVID I know and it's like today I freaking hate this thing because I can't get a grip on it

I'm like yeah I'm feeling better today I've been coughing so much oh no I'm like I start taking my temper again. I was like, am I sick all over again? I know. I feel like it's like everybody's reacting differently to it. Some people's symptoms are like so much worse. Like my dad, for example, he was so sick, but he had like the worst sore throat. And then my stepmom had a cough. And then my other friend like had no symptoms at all. And then another person I know, same thing as you, totally fine one day, sick the next, felt better the next. And then went backwards and then better again the next day.

it's wild. I really think I had the original or Delta because I've had every single symptom. And right now, I can't really taste anything. So I forget to eat. And I have to remind myself, I have a smoothie right here. I'm like, oh my gosh, you have to eat something. I know. I was the opposite. When I had COVID and lost my taste and smell, I like got depressed because I craved food and like tasting something. And I could only tell if something was sweet. So I just eat cookies and sweet things all day long. I love. See, I. can only do spices. Oh. Interesting. I'm throwing lemon pepper on everything. It's so weird. It is the weirdest. I hate it. I know. I hate it too. It's so weird. I'm sorry you're not feeling well. And that just is so even like that's so sweet that you are even podcasting with me when you're not feeling well. You're doing. Oh, like you do it all. fine it's fine listen thank you i'm on the other side of it last week i could not have done it this week i'm okay you know i'm getting back in the swing of things so it's all good thank you for having me oh my gosh it's so good to see you i mean it's not like you have to talk for a living or anything and like you literally are doing you're obviously doing the like hosting stuff the co-hosting of the podcast you wrote a book and then you did the audio version of it which takes a lot of talking like

there's just a lot of time i can't even imagine how that is so we'll get into all that but congratulations on your book because i mean i don't know if you always thought you'd write a book but ever since i've known you i've been like this woman needs to write a book and you did it and when people are listening to this it'll be today that it's coming out january 25th but before we dive into all of that stuff i just want to catch up a bit first because it's been a while yeah and i just want to know how you're doing how's brian house copper i know you guys are looking at like houses. I saw in your blog and how's everything going? Everything's good. First off, let me tell you congratulations because you are killing it in everything that you're doing. Now,

although I'm not watching the show anymore, I hear wonderful things about you hosting, holding it down. So kudos to you for that, going on Dancing with the Stars Tour. I love to just give people their flowers and their praises because that's what we should do. We should lift one another up. So you are doing your thing. But for me, yeah, like everything is good. Brian and I are great. Brian just opened up his practice in L.A., which is really exciting. And just really wonderful because he made the sacrifice to move to L.A. for me and to shut everything down. So to see him here, to build up his practice, thank God he loves L.A. too, because that just be a whole other thing.

So I'm just so proud of him and just watching him flourish and do his thing. And we're good to just, I feel like we're strangers in the night now because he's like working full time on his practice and then like I've been doing everything I've been doing so it's like hi bye I love you you know that's a thing I mean now we're quarantining I feel like y'all have been doing that for so long like your relationship has really been tested in so many ways right from the get-go and y'all stayed so strong well I mean obviously I'm sure there's ups and downs but you always find a way to make it work together and I love that like you've both sacrificed things and have figured it out and now you're like, you know, he's flourishing in his world.

You're doing your thing and you can come together even if it's for two minutes in the night to say, I love you or buy or whatever. Like, I just love that you are making it work because that's what you have to do. You're allowed to have your career that can come first, your relationship that could like literally come in first too, but you both can exist. Do you know what I'm saying? Absolutely. And you get it.

You totally get it because you and Jason are the same. And can we just pause and say, isn't it so amazing to have a part? who doesn't dim your light and just lets you flourish and be unapologetic to yourself. It's what everybody should have. Yes. And I've never had anything like it. And I know you feel the same on this. So it's just so good to be able to support one another.

And for, you know, your partner to allow you to be you and for you to allow them to be them. So yes. All that saying. We're fantastic. Copper's great. We've been co-parenting another dog as well. So copper. I don't know how copper.

feels about it but he's a chill dog so he goes with the flow but we have the miniature version of copper that's another rescue dog that my hairdresser found in downtown l.A and we co-parent the dog with her because she got sick and then she tore ACL so we had him for such a long time so now we have him all the time so we have a dog and a half yeah that's amazing I well for how old is copper again eight estimated see that's that's always an interesting like thing for a dog who's just been so spoiled their whole life with just like, you know, I'm the only child for another dog to come in. But sometimes they're like unfazed by it.

Sometimes they do not like it. And sometimes they love having a little friend around. So I was curious to know, like, Copper just could care less or what? He could care less, but the little one is obsessed with copper. He does everything Copper does. And he howls if you take him away. He was scared of him at first. Now they're inseparable.

So they go to daycare every day. And if they separate copper, like they say he's, screams all day. So it's just, it's really cute. So Copper has to go with small dogs because he can't handle being separated from him. That is so stinking cute. That's why we want a house. I'm like, it's all for the dogs. We want, I need a yard for them to play, but it's hell trying to get a house out here in L.A. So that's like our mission. We're looking at that as we're just like expanding, you know, the Abasolo family. Yeah. Oh my gosh. I mean, it's just so it's, I mean, that's an exciting time, but so stressful looking for a house. Jason and I are looking for houses too. And it's like,

are you moving? Well, we want to see. I don't think we're going to move out of Nashville yet, but we want to move out of, I've been in the same house for like four years before I even had known Jason. So he's kind of like, well, I want to like start a house with you. And so we've been wanting to for so long. But that on top of wedding planning, as you know, is insane. And so we're just trying to, you know, get our shit together. But it's, I mean, being, you know exactly how it is, being on the road and him being another place. He's got so much going on. I've got so much going on.

We're literally trying to plan a wedding and buy a new house and like keep our romance alive. It's like so much to do. It's always like that. Keeps it exciting, doesn't it? It definitely does. But wait, can I be in your business for a second? You said, you're not leaving Nashville yet. What, where are the top cities that we're looking at?

That's the question. That's, uh, maybe somewhere in California. but not, not L.A. just because I know how crazy it is to get a house there right now with everything. But I, I mean, I love California. But we were trying to figure that out just for, it'll be Nashville for quite a while. But I don't think we want to raise kids in Nashville. I just don't feel like it's like progressive enough for me.

And he feels the same way. So we'll see what happens. But I mean. Well, then your options are slim here in the States. I, well, that's why I'm like Canada. Canada is always an office. option. So we talk about that honestly daily about where we would want to live. So I think we all, we need to just like sit down and just go through a list of places where we're like, okay,

this could potentially be a place. But as of right now, it'll be national for at least another three years. But yeah, relationships, man. They just keep you on your toes. I know. So Jason and I are obviously both in a position where we're both very driven in our own businesses and careers. And like we were saying like the long periods away from each other. I just wanted to know what your priorities are of managing career and love. Like how do you to personally do that advice almost for Jason and I because I think you do it so well. Okay. I'm not the one to give advice. I literally was just talking to my friend about her on her podcast and it's all about her name is Shan. It's all about sex and relationships. And the whole podcast, I was like, can we just talk about the fact that

the expectations are so high for women to be sexual all the time and everybody and especially coming from Bachelor nation just and Brian and I and you get this like you're sex positive Brian and I were billed as this couple that couldn't keep our hands off of each other and everybody's always asking about our sex life how many times you're having sex a week and I'm like I'm here to tell you I'm in a phase right now where I'm just like I really don't want to have sex yeah I'm just here and more people need to normalize this and talk about this I think and it was a very great conversation and I'm getting to the advice part where it was I realized that I have always been in a long distance relationship my entire life. I have never really lived with

in the same place and definitely not with a significant other. And then even when Brian and I got together, I was always traveling. Now that we're in L.A. and once we'll quarantine in L.A., this is the first time that we've been together and we're on a schedule. And I realized that that that excitement and that adventure of not seeing each other as much goes away when you see each other every day and it's the first time and Brian and I have never had a conversation about how our life has now adjusted and our expectations with sex and when she when I had that conversation with her I was like oh my gosh we just need to simply do that that's the advice I would give you because as things change in life and things get busier and then they slow down they come and go so does like the

intimacy in your relationship so we have to sit down and have that conversation, and it was beautiful and it was liberating just to hear how he has changed and thinks about things. Same with me. And it made us connect even deeper with our intimacy. And it revitalized it in a way. And it's like you think you assume certain things about the other person like with love languages. And the same conversation needs to be had with sex. And so I was like, this is the most amazing thing ever. And back to also your your original question. When it comes to prioritizing it, that's part of my New Year's resolution is about investing. I always choose a word. And I want to invest in different areas of my life. And I can

always be career driven. Like, that's in me. I love to work. I thrive off of it. I'm depressed if I can't. And I have to be doing it in multiple ways. And I never think I'm doing enough. And I know you film you on that. Like, I'm like, what? I need to be doing something else right now. I have five jobs. I need seven. Like, this isn't enough. So with Brian, I'm trying to make sure that I am more so investing that because that's always going to be in me, in my relationship. And that means slowing down and saying, okay, let's look at a house. Let's look at growing our family.

Let's talk about our intimacy. Let's connect on other things. Like, I'm pouring more into that. And I had to say, I was doing a fantastic job until I got COVID and now we're quarantined from one another. and we say hi and bye from a six feet plus away. But yeah, that's been my thing is more so stop assuming things and having the conversations. And that's been pouring a lot into my relationship.

That's actually really great advice. I appreciate that. That's really good. Okay, Monday nights pop the cork, fill your glass for Promise to Land a new show on ABC. This sexy sun-drenched Sonoma set drama tells the story of two intertwined but warring Latin X families vying for land, power and control over the ultra-competitive California wine business, but can they do it without their darkest secrets spilling out? Joe Sandoval, the patriarch of the family, has worked tirelessly to turn a

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I have to say, I don't listen to actually a lot of podcasts. Higher learning is always one that is my go-to because it's obviously informative, but it's funny too. Like, I love your chemistry and the fact that y'all can talk about, like, fart jokes into, like, serious things like the Martin Luther King one I was just listening to. And I'm like that it just, it just makes it not easy to digest, but like helpful to digest that. I'm like, I feel like just the banter between the two of you is so fun, but you talk about such important things. And it's always just really a good listen every single episode.

So I wanted to give you props on that because it's incredible. Because that's definitely the goal. You know how when you're sitting at a table with friends and you can go from talking about politics to cooking to cooking to, something silly like you know like do you fart in front of your significant other that's how we want people to feel like like it's a family reunion every single time you press play on the podcast so we're hoping to finally do it in person we've done it once one time in almost two years oh my gosh is that it yeah we started during covid and it's like been tough with spotify about being doing it in person so yeah right right well it works whatever you guys are doing i can i can only imagine if it's in person like

how great it would be okay let's talk about book of yours, miss me with that. Okay, first of all, again, so proud of you for writing a book. I always thought you should. Your voice has just always been powerful and you're very relatable and I just can't wait to read the book. And what an accomplishment. So check that off the bucket list. So for my listeners, can you just tell us a little bit about the book? And I was trying to look at the term, Miss Me With That. Is that like your thing? Tell me more. So really the whole phrase is Miss Me With That Bullshit. And I want it. It's a phrase that I say all the time, like, oh, miss me with that.

And I, because I wanted people to know when they're reading the book, you're going to get all sides of me. This isn't this put together a professional lawyer, Rachel book. This is, you're going to sit down and feel like you're talking to me. Like you're having a conversation with me as you're reading the pages of this book. That's what I want people to get. And because I say, miss me with that all the time, you know you're going to get a little bit of sass, a little bit of hard truths, which is like the subtitle in the book. It's going to be playful. It's going to be serious.

But I'm going to be talking about everything. All the things that you can miss me with. And I feel a lot of times I'm very misunderstood. It's always so funny when I meet somebody and they're like, oh, my gosh, you're so nice. And I'm like, what do you think of me? Yeah. What do people think? And because I'm opinionated and a lot of times it is about serious issues and, you know, I've

had to face certain things in Bachelornation and outside of it and all. I think people just think that I'm either always complaining or I'm always. always angry or I'm upset about something. And so it missed me with that. You're going to get to see so much more of me where I get to tell my story. I'm in control. And you'll see that I'm so much more than what my media persona may be or my brand may be from Bachelor Nation. And that's what I want people to take away from it. So I'm so so excited for people to get a chance to read it because I go from the beginning to the end. And now is the perfect time for the book to come out. And the book is a bunch of essays, which is what I love, because I wanted each part to stand

alone. So if you don't want to read the book from start to finish, you don't have to. It isn't chronological order, but it's not like when I was five, I did this. When I was 10, I did this. If you want to skip to the Batchar nation stuff, you can just go through the essays and say, hey, I want to read this essay. Put it down and come back later. After each essay, there's a lesson that I learned either prior to writing the book or even while I was writing the book. But I have an essay called A Nation of Double Standards. Am I talking? about bachelor nation? Am I talking about the nation we live in? Maybe it's a little bit of both. But I talk about how people hold me to a certain, expect me to have a certain level or having

certain expectation with me that they don't with other people. You know, some, they can always find the grace and compassion for this person, but for some reason can't reciprocate that and give that to me on the other end. Like, it's always my fault or I did something wrong or I must have been, I was calculated or I was sneaky about this. It's almost as if I'm can't. be human. I can't feel. They can't, I can't be vulnerable. And that is that, like, I really worked through that during the book. And like I said, some of these things I knew before, but a lot of what I'm talking about abatination are things that I had to, I had to remove myself to completely see what was happening with me while I was on the show and more so affiliated with it.

Yeah. I think that's the truth for so many, like a relationship with a TV show, a relationship with a friend, a relationship with a, you know, a significant other, when it's not a healthy relationship and you're in it, you have to fully remove yourself to have clarity on what that experience was for you. So it must have been hard and therapeutic and emotional to go back in that moment to not only write about it, but then to speak it out loud for your audio book. Oh. Yeah.

How hard was that for you? I constantly, I feel like, underestimate things because I don't like to get my hopes up about things and then be disappointed. I still don't handle that well at 36. You got to know that about yourself. Yeah. So I underestimate things. So go and do my audio book.

I was like, oh, this will be fun. Oh, they said it'll take four days, eight hours each day. No, it won't. I talk for a living. I'll have this down. No. Because as you're, it's one thing to write it out and to deal with it that way. but to relive it and you know to stop and start again and you know the person who's coaching me saying how did you feel when that happened tap into that emotion there were times where I was laughing there were times where I was crying there were times where I just like had to pause and take a break whether I'm talking about the show whether I'm talking about a friendship whether I'm talking about a relationship growing up just to go back and be in that place as a little girl as a college student

as a contestant on the show, it was tough. Yeah. But it was a beautiful, beautiful experience. And I am so glad that I made the decision to do the audio book and not have someone read it for me. You know, people are used to hearing from me. And I think that they really needed to hear my words for me. I'm so glad. I'm so glad I did it.

I love turning a page and reading a book. But with you, I will listen to the audio version because I do want to hear it from your voice. I do, like you said, like you, you talk for a living and we love hearing your opinion and like you said, you haven't had a chance to really give everybody different sides of Rachel and now it's in your, you know, of course if they listen to the podcast, but still, this is an opportunity for you to have so many show all the different sides of you while going like pretty far back to know like, okay, who really is Rachel and where did you come from? and what is your story and how did you get to where you are today and have all these different essays. If somebody was going to pick up the book and what would you say the most important essay is that they should read in your book?

Oh my gosh, there's so many because I deal with so many different things. I really love a nation of double standards because I think I address a lot of things that people are wondering. You know, maybe you have unanswered questions about things about your nation. As I say, everything will be addressed. You might not get the answer that you want, but it will be addressed. So I really love that because it makes you sit back and think

and maybe have a better understanding of why I have to be so defensive, why I'm always speaking out. So I love that one. I love the, there's an essay called In, instead of Insanity, it's into sanity. And I talk about mental health and how it's stigmatized in the black community, but I know that doesn't stand alone in the black community. There are a lot of communities that don't necessarily accept

going to therapy. Right. So I discussed that and I talk about how I went to therapy to save a relationship and to impress a man and I ended up saving myself in the process. So that's a really emotional chapter. And then one of my other favorites is called the Miss Sex Education of Rachel Lindsay.

And I'm battling in this chapter, sex, and what I was taught in school and church and with friends and at home versus... like how I was actually feeling as a teenager and in my 20s. And I challenge religion a bit, not lose my religion, but challenge it in the things that I was taught as I was coming into my own as a woman. And I also deal with insecurities and self-worth and chasing it and finding it in someone else, rather than with myself, all because of the way I was taught about sex.

And once I lost it, dealing with that guilt and that shame and trying to process that. So it's a really important chapter, too, that I think a lot of people who, grew up in certain households can really relate to. Yeah. Or maybe you are raising a daughter that maybe you don't know how to have that conversation with them that you can by with this essay. Wow. Rach, like that's, that is, you have like so many important things in there.

I literally can't wait to listen to it, read it, whatever I'm going to do. I honestly think people will take, I take so much away from your podcast alone. So I feel like people are going to just take away like overwhelming in the best way possible amounts of information from your book. Like, I feel like someone should sit there with the audio and notes, like writing things down. Like, I think that's what I'm going to do anyways. You poor thing, I just want to come pat your back when you have a little cough.

Oh, thank you. I am on the other side of it. But, you know, people will tell you this cough is just lingering. It's just lingering. Now, I have to talk about the show because I have so many thoughts and questions and things for you. But obviously, the interview with Chris Harrison, the fact that. that you've spoken about that you still get death threats

or blame around the show not being the same as what it was. I mean, do you think that the show is changing now in the right way or do you see it going backwards? And what do you say to the people who truly think that you've done something to change, like to change it how it used to be? Because in my opinion, that's a good thing. For you to have that conversation and for that to have happened, was a huge shift in that world,

just that interview alone that I believe needed to happen. And the people that think, oh, now you've ruined it and changed it. What do you, like, say, what is your message to them? So I guess the first part is, do I think, of your question is,

do I think the show has changed? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, there are obvious changes in the show. You know, they talked about adding, there was a black woman, as an executive producer, you know, after the fallout of the interview, they've changed hosts. Yeah.

They've addressed certain things. They've admitted that they were wrong. They put out a statement the, you know, the years before and they're making, they're trying to make strides to make things better. I acknowledging it is more than they had ever done before, recognizing it and saying we're going to take action. I remember I was very vocal like, hey, we need a statement. We need to know that you're hearing what the Bachelor Diversity Committee is. doing what other people who are proponents of inclusivity with this show want to see happen on the show that has a huge place in pop culture and in our society when it comes to the

entertainment industry. That's change. So I have to acknowledge that. I can't speak to what is actually changing because I'm not watching the show. So I don't really know what's happening. I don't know about contestants. I mean, obviously, Michelle was cast as the lead, even though I wholeheartedly believe that was in response to the fact that the fallout from the interview because it was definitely

Katie before, but they had you and Tasha step in as host, which again, I didn't see, but I hear that you guys were thriving and doing a fantastic job, which I have no doubt you were, but seeing two women at the helm, which, you know, like, come on, like, let's let it continue in some way. Yeah. And then, you know, obviously Tach is a person of color as well. So two women, one of color, it's like, it's great to see. So, like, let's continue to make these strides. So then to answer the second part, for people who are upset, what are you mad about?

Right. What is so wrong with seeing two women step in as host? What is so wrong with seeing a Michelle who was a fantastic lead? Incredible. Who was true to herself. I know this without even watching. True to herself and found love. Do you know how difficult that is on this show to do?

What is so wrong with that? So if you're mad at me for those changes that have happened, for diversifying, who's making decisions at the top, who is leading the show as host, who is leading the show as the lead, then you have to look within yourself and ask why you have such a problem with that. If you weren't bothered by the way that the show was, granted, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt. Maybe you were so comfortable in your own space, which we saw a lot of in 2020, that you didn't even recognize how much of an issue it is. But once you started to recognize that, you should be happy that these changes have been made rather than wanting things to stay the way they always wore just because it makes you feel

more comfortable. But what about those other people who've never seen themselves represented on this show? You should be happy that it's now trying to be a little bit more inclusive, still has a ways to go. But, you know, okay, if you're listening to this, you finally made it through 2021 and everything that came along with it. But like me, you're probably a little burned out. might be feeling like you need a fresh start to focus on yourself again this year. And one way I like to take care of myself is through skin care. I think y'all know that by now, having skincare routine is important to me and just taking care of my skin in general.

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Head to Osea O-Malibu.com to find your new routine. Use code vine. Okay, quick pause. Let's talk about a company I absolutely love. I know a lot of us are making. those big New Year's resolutions and goals, but keeping things fresh really is the best way to stay motivated, especially when it comes to being active and preventing yourself from burning out on the same old fitness routine. Well, the Peloton bike and Bike Plus are ringing in the

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because it just sounds like fun so for a limited time try the Peloton app for free for two months, then 1299 per month after. New members only visit OnePeloton.com slash app to learn more. That's two months free at O-N-E-P-E-L-O-T-O-N dot com. Offer expires January 31st, 2022. Terms apply. Okay, so I think we all know that feeling your best really starts with what you eat and what you're putting into your body.

I mean, it makes sense. It's basically our fuel for going through life. Well, Sikara helps you not just live a healthy balanced lifestyle, but to truly enjoy it with delicious, plant-rich meals and functional wellness essentials that build a foundation for your health. So I actually wasn't familiar with Sikara before I tried it recently, and now I realize why so many people are obsessed with their food. Sikara is a wellness company anchored in food as medicine, and they're on a mission to nourish your body through the power of plants. Their nutritionally designed chef-crafted meals are made with powerful plant-based ingredients that help you boost your energy, support your digestion, curb your sugar cravings, and get your skin glowing. They've also received rave reviews from Boog, Goop, the New York Times, and from Caitlin Bristow. A little round of applause for Sakara.

I also just love the convenience of Sakara. We had it delivered to our house. They have ready-to-eat meal delivery programs, so they really do all the work for you and also have wellness essentials that come straight to. you. And right now, Sakara is offering our listeners 20% off their first order when they go to Sakara.com slash Vine or enter code Vine at checkout. That's Sakara, S-A-K-A-R-A-com, slash bind to get 20% off your first order. Sikara.com slash Vine. I agree with you when you say things like, was this a response to, you know, the how everything was kind of coming to the surface

and people were wanting change because you'd been fighting for that change for so long but that it wasn't happening until kind of everyone started opening their eyes and asking the show for change when it was now their audience instead of you just as a lead it was their audience asking

for change so I'm with you and the reason I agreed to even go on and back to the show I obviously had a history with them too for other reasons and the reason I wanted to go be a part of it in this time was because I was like, I do want to be part of the change if they are going to stick to it and go in that direction. And so, you know, obviously we saw them doing that. So I am

with you where I just hope it continues and I hope they continue to make strides. It's going to be interesting what they do moving forward. I wanted to just, you touched on the fact that Brian is still involved with Bachelor World. You know, he obviously has the podcast with them. Is that challenging in any way that he's still attached to the franchise and how do y'all navigate that? No, no, not at all. I mean, I never thought that my time with the franchise would come to this. I thought that I would pull away because I wanted to do other things. I didn't think that I would just cold turkey cut it off because of the way things have gone down.

So I still have a lot of love for people who work on that show, who work behind the scenes that I still talk to quite frequently, which is why I never want the show to end. because I never want to see people I care so much about out of a job. Of course. I just wanted to change. Of course. So with Brian, he loves what he does with his podcast with Mike. They're killing it.

So I fully support him and what he does. It doesn't bother me at all because I'm completely separated. Right. I'm not, I only know if he tells me something, but it doesn't make me feel a certain way because he's not really talking to me about the show. And if he really does kind of start to tell me something, I'm always like, I don't know. Yeah.

one. I don't really want to hear it. But I support Brian in everything he does. You know, if they asked Brian to be the host of the show, I was like, get us. I would be like, get us that money. Which, again, I'm so glad you asked me that question because I am so happy to support you in what you're doing because a lot of people are like, oh, Rachel wanted to be the host. The only person who ever wanted me to be the host of the show is my agent. And for obvious reasons. As an agent would, you know? I never have fought for that, nor did I. ever like you know want that that's not necessarily for me that's why i'm so happy to support you in what you're doing and i love to see it yeah i know that's always you have always been supportive

and you somehow are still able to see different sides of everything which i really respect is there anyone in the franchise that you can think of that really came to your aid as like an ally in your toughest times like anyone that did and anyone that you felt should have or anyone that challenged you Good question. I mean, I would say a lot of the bacheloretts came through, like, especially the OGs, you know, sending private messages, hey, how you're doing. Oh, my gosh, I had no idea this is going on. Like the Dianas, the Tristas, the Jillians, you know, you have always reached out. You have, whether it's support, whether you have a question about something, which is something I've always appreciated.

Obviously, Becca to, you know. Yeah. And I'm sure I'm forgetting a Bachelorette, but like the Bachelorettes have been, not all of them, but most of them have been very supportive. Ben Higgins and I have had some beautiful conversations. I bet. Obviously, Nick Vile, we're still close. Yeah. Same thing goes for him.

So, yeah, like quite a few people in Bachelor Nation have either reached out personally or maybe put something out on social media to support. When it comes to people who haven't, I don't know if I'm shocked. but maybe a little surprised that I didn't get as much of it from maybe some like higher ups that I would have thought I think people are afraid to reach out to me just to be honest that I thought maybe some higher ups would have been like we should really have a conversation you know not that I need to anything public but just like you've been going through a lot like let's just talk you know human being to human being so maybe I expect a little bit more of that.

Some I've gotten that from, but not from the production side of it. Yeah, yeah. So that's a little disappointing. And then, you know, maybe some people of color I expected to hear from or to have more conversations with that I didn't, which maybe isn't that shocking, but it would have been nice. Yeah. Looking back at how everything happened with Chris, what are you the most proud of for

that time and did you have any like the big learning lessons from it yeah what i'm most proud of is it's something you said earlier in the podcast i've always been outspoken about there there needed to be change and i really was just like on an island all by myself really preaching that it couldn't and some of it is because i had a position that not other people of color had and not that it should just be people of color speaking out, but I was in a position where they couldn't. But other people, I think, were just very comfortable in the life that they were living in. And it's just like, oh, that's just Rachel talking again. And then things changed. And a lot of people have spoken out and been allies when it comes to this. But when the Chris interview happened, I knew I had

something, but I never knew more of like, wow, people are about to see a version of Chris Harrison and they've never seen before. That's what I thought. Never did I expect the fallout. And I think to answer your question, what made me the most proud was to see the women of Matt James season come together and put out a statement.

They led the charge before anybody else. And it blew me. I was in tears. I was just like, oh my gosh. I never even expected this to happen. And after they did that, everybody followed suit. Those women started

something and it shows that there are power in numbers. I used to be by myself. And then when people started coming together and they put out a statement, then the men from Clarentation season put out a statement, then other people in Bachelor Nations started standing up. It forced the hand of the network and the production company to take action. And that's the lesson. When we come together and we do things, you can make change in whatever it is that you're trying to do. And that was a really beautiful moment for me when it was also very hard for me because I was getting a tax just to see the support in a way I never had before was everything. Yeah, that was really powerful when they did that. I remember thinking, wow, how incredible that they all came together to do this.

Like, we've never seen anything like that from, you know, anyone that's been on the show, let alone a whole group of them. That was, yeah, that was really powerful. I'm very much in interview mode, which usually I'm just very conversational, but I just have so many questions because I love your answers so much but who do you think and take me out of the you know equation if you want but because i'm not like pick me but who do you think would be the perfect voice and host for that franchise for like every single show or like one person if you thought of somebody for bachelor or do you think it should be one consistent host or do you think there you know there's someone that you're like this should be the host or the bachelor this should be

the host of The Bachelorette, or do you even have an opinion on that? Because he might not. I mean, Jesse Palmer makes sense to me. Like, I'm not going to take, like, Jesse is obviously a seasoned host. And he's also being given an, like, imagine if they had Nick Vile and Ben Higgins hosting The Bachelor this season. It would be totally different. Yeah. So they're obviously putting him in a position to make a play. Like, I always say that with friends. Like, they're putting him in a fantastic position, but he's also extremely qualified. It totally makes sense for him to be the host of The Bachelor. I agree. I honestly think you said

to take you out, I can't. I think you'd be a fantastic host for Bachelorette. And if nothing else solidified that, it was the finale. When you were actually given an opportunity on live television, which people do not understand how hard that is. Yeah. To host a show

for a long amount of time in front of an audience. Not just live, in front of an audience. So I think that you would be great. I mean, other people, like, it would be nice to see somebody funny as well step in like a comedian like an actual comedian step in and do it like a sherry shepherd would be hilarious to step into the show like she's so good right yeah and then when i think it when i think it comes to and on the male side this is just me like spitballing off the top of my head

but maybe that comedian is for paradise i liked the format of bringing in random people for paradise because paradise is such a hot ass mess yeah totally for it and there's a bunch of random things that happens. So like keep the randomness going with you never know who's walking down to come in and host this show. I like the idea of bringing celebrity super fans in to host it because people get excited and I don't know. And then I just feel like if you do that, eventually some contestants going to either flirt with that host or try, you know, it's like another level of drama. I just, I like that set up for Paradise. Yeah, I agree. Yeah, I agree with everything you said. Well, you've accomplished just so much already. You're just such a

goal getter. Like you said, if you have five jobs, you want seven. I totally relate to that. Like, if one thing is slowing down, I'm like, oh, gosh, my career is crashing. I need to, like, do something big. Same. You're just, you're just, you know, that's who you are. You're a goal getter, and I love that about you. And I know I ask you certain things of what you're the most proud of in certain conversations, but everything that you've got going on right now, what is the thing that you are the most proud of, like out of podcast, book, like everything that you've got? my my natural answer is it would be the podcast but I have to say like I'm super proud about the book just because it was very hard for me to write not because of time management because to go to certain places and I'm happy that I could be vulnerable I'm happy that even at 36 and married it was hard for me to write about certain things for fear of my parents that fear still exists and I want to respect and honor them and everything that I do so that was a little tough but I'm so proud because all of me is in this book yeah and each essay still stands alone in such a beautiful way.

But outside of that, for like what I do on a daily basis, it's definitely podcasting because we are the host of it. We get to be ourselves. We get to talk about whatever we want. We listen to our audience. We're curating our audience. I'm so proud to because so many people from Patser Nation have come over to that. And you know it's hard to get people to follow you to doing things that are outside

of Batser Nation. And I think it just speaks volumes to like who you are as a person if you're able to do that. And I'm so thankful that so many people from one opportunity have come in to the thought warrior community and get to see another side of me. And it's really, it really means a lot too when friends who knew me before the show listen to the podcast and they're like, that's the Rachel that we've always known. For sure. So it's just beautiful that we can do whatever and we have so much freedom and latitude. I'm so thankful for my co-host, Van Lathan. and then also for Bill Simmons, for seeing something in me,

who I've always wanted to work with, by the way. I'm a super fan of his that saw something in me that was like, he said to me, don't you want to do something that you're really proud of? Then higher learning was born after that. Wow. That's awesome. Where can people find higher learning, your book? Tell us all the places.

Yes. You can get my book. You can go to my link in my bio on Instagram, or you can go wherever you buy books. Walmart, Target, Barnes & Noble's, Amazon, penguin randomhouse.com's website. You can listen to Higher Learning, new episodes drop every Tuesday and Friday, wherever you listen to this podcast, but Spotify preferably.

You can watch me every week, six out of seven days a week on extra. You have to check your local listings for that. And then also you can check out me giving a weekly, you know, newsletter on whatever I'm feeling opinionated about on Meta Bulletin. Yes, that's what we call it now. Meta. Meta bulletin. It's called Honestly, Rach, where I'm giving you my honest opinions, as I always do, about whatever it may be, politics, current affairs, pop culture. And we do an Ask Rachel segment on it once a month. That's so cool. You're just crushing. I love it. And I know we're running

out of time, but I'm still going to make you give me a confession. I don't know if I told you this already. Did I tell you about Brian treating me in chiropractic? No. first time. Okay, so everybody's like, oh, my God, you're married to a chiropractor. That's amazing. And I'm like, I cannot stand the popping noise when it comes to chiropractic. You cannot touch my neck, my back. I cringe.

I'm not into that. Yeah. But I was really suffering, and this was a couple of years ago. So this was like more towards the beginning of our relationship. And Brian gets so offended that I don't allow him to adjust me. And I'm like, it's not you. It's just a personal thing. So I was like, okay, I'm really off.

I'm going to let you adjust my back. And he's like, okay. So he does this thing where he's kind of like crunching me. I'm like on the table. And he's like, just relaxed. And I'm like, okay, I'm going to completely relax. And I relax. And he cracks my back.

And I just go, Patern, I took off running into, the other room and close the door. I was like, do not talk to me. I need to be alone. Oh my gosh. I was like, this is why I don't do this. You told me to relax.

And I just let it all go mortified. Brian's like, it happens all the time. What? Really? He says it happens a lot where people pass gas. Well, I did not need it to happen to me. And needless to say, I think I've been on that table one other time since then. And because, Caitlin, it wasn't.

like it was like a it would have been nice if it was like elegant I've never heard that sound come from my body in my entire day ever and I never want to hear it again that's so funny it wasn't like a little tire leak like

I wish or like an SBD silent a deadly it was full on like it didn't come from me it was like the devil inside of me or something I don't know what it was it reminds me you know when like dogs get scared of their own farts like they do it And then they're like, what the heck was that?

And then they like run away. That was you. That's so cute picture. And you just like run away and go to another room. Had copper been in the room, I would have blamed it on him. But it was just me. Oh, that's a great confession. I love that story.

Gosh, that's funny. Oh, God. It actually makes me feel better that that happens a lot, though, because I go to chiropractor all the time. And if that ever happens, I'll know how to react now. I won't run away. I'll be like, yeah, again, this happens all the time, right? Parfrey, course, apparently.

Oh my gosh, that's so funny. We're just going to end this with like the most dumbest little game of Rachel's hot take. So I'm just going to list statements and you have to give me your hot take and let me know if it's a hit or a miss, okay? Okay. Okay. A guy should pay for your first date. A hit. Okay.

He should. He should. Okay. Women gossip. it more than men. Miss. Men talk. They tell it all.

Yeah. I agree. Okay. Dogs are superior to cats. I have to say it's a hit. I have two live with me, but I love cats. I love cats too, but dogs are it for me. And I respect cat people because they're passionate.

They're just the same as dog people. I get it. Ketchup is good on mac and cheese. Miss, I don't do either one. Oh, what? No, I don't do anything cheese-related. Although I can't smell anything right now. That's my sole reason for not eating cheese because it stinks.

So maybe I should eat it. Oh, yeah, you have a strong smell. I remember that from the pot. That's so funny. Okay, toilet paper should go a specific way on the roll. Hit. Yes, hit. Jeez, it's like a simple thing to do.

It's the most simple and effective. Okay, pineapple does not belong on pizza. Well, seeing how I don't have cheese on my pizza when I eat it. I also do not believe in. fruit in random place. I don't like it on salads, unless it's an apple. I don't like it on pizza. That's like, like leave it, leave it alone. It stands alone. Okay. Coke is better than Pepsi. Hit. I disagree. Pepsi is so flat and too sugary. Oh, see, I think Coke is more sugary and too bubbly. So that makes sense. It is, it is bubbly. It burns when it goes down to it. And I love it.

And last, but definitely not least, crinkle cut is the best fry shape. Yeah, it's up there. Yeah, hit, hit. I was going to say waffle, but hit, hit, crinkle's good. Yeah, I like a crinkle fry, but I also, nothing beats McDonald's fries to me. Okay, well, we'll leave it there. That's all I got for you today. I freaking love you. I'm so proud of you and just keep crushing, and I cannot wait to download that book tonight. Thank you so much, girl. And congratulations to you and everything you're doing. We have to keep supporting each other. Like, you got this girl. How are you doing?

You got four jobs? Okay, go get two more. You got this. I am always here for you, and I know you are there for me too as well, and I just adore you. So tell Brian and I say hi, and I hope you feel better soon. Thank you so much. Yeah, I've actually got a list that. I'm going to send you a little thing because I lost my taste and smell too,

and I have a little remedy for you, so I'll just text you. Please send that to you. I will. Thank you. I will right now. Okay, Tootles. I'm Caitlin Bristow. I'll see you next Tuesday. Thanks for listening to Off the Vine with Caitlin Bristow.

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