Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Riley Green | Singing About Breakups, Living on the Road... and Failing Spelling Tests!

Episode Date: November 26, 2024

#792. Kaitlyn welcomes country music star Riley Green for a chat that reveals a whole new side of his mellow personality—this is Riley hyped up (his words, not ours)! He opens up about his love of naps, duck hunting, and why you’ll never catch him singing the national anthem (he knows his lane). They dive into his songwriting process, his current favorite song to perform, and the big question: has he really never been in love? Plus, Riley takes on a hilarious spelling bee, debates Alabama trivia, and bonds with Kaitlyn over Adam Sandler movie quotes. Oh, and he spills that he’s never done a podcast quite like this before—and he’s loving it! Don’t miss the laughs, stories, and charm in this unforgettable episode. If you’re LOVING this podcast, please follow and leave a rating and review below! PLUS, FOLLOW OUR PODCAST INSTAGRAM HERE! Thank you to our Sponsors! Check out these deals! Dime Beauty: Head over to Dimebeautyco.com for 30% off Dime’s best-selling skincare! Progressive: Quote at Progressive.com to join the over 28 million drivers who trust Progressive. Boll & Branch: Shop their Cyber Event for 25% off plus free shipping on your first set of sheets by heading to bollandbranch.com and using promo code VINE25. Nutrafol: Go to See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Okay, let's talk about the original enemies to lovers story. Before all of our reality TV couples, before the rom-coms, we binge, there was Elizabeth Bennett and Mr. Darcy in pride and prejudice. An Audible has just dropped a brand new original that will have you completely hooked, I am. It's not just any audiobook. This is a full cast performance. So Marisa Abella, you might know her from industry, brings Elizabeth Bennett to life.

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it just feels so fresh and modern while still keeping that timeless Jane Austen charm. So whether it's your first time experience, pride and prejudice or you've read it a million times you're going to fall absolutely in love all over again so go listen to pride and prejudice now at audible.ca slash jane austin off the vine hey everybody welcome to off the vine i'm your host katele bristow and today we have on riley green who my 16 year old niece was losing her noodle over him coming on this podcast and I'm like he has fans from 16 years old until like 80 years old

he's just like a really good old country boy who makes good music at first I was like I think he hates me but then I learned this is just his personality and what did I do I rolled with the punches and I brought out the absolute best slash worst in him you'll see what I mean I've figured it out at this point men I've figured men out between the two of us we can probably figure him out I feel like it's pretty, it's, men are, men are simple. Yeah, I can attest it. I feel like girls overthink to the point where they think, I wonder if he's thinking about this or just thinking about that.

And I'm thinking about like hunting. Whether that turkey's in the field behind my grandmother's house. I dated this girl for a while and we'd be at dinner or something and I would be like staring off. She'd go, you think about turkeys, aren't you, no, blah, yeah? Nailed it. Yeah. That's what you're thinking about, turkeys?

What's your top three things that are on your brain most times of the day? well turkeys is one of them got it i i get through the day a lot of times by thinking about when i can take a nap like when i can go to sleep again when i wake up early in the morning i'm like going i'm like well just after this last thing i can go back to sleep wait i think like that all the time and then i go am i depressed because oh some people like sleep more than others my dad hates sleep he hates when other people sleep he hates when anybody's wasting their time not doing stuff and i don't look at his waste of time because i enjoy it i enjoy it and it makes me a better person when i quit going to college. I was like kind of working, kind of not playing in bars. And I used to

set an alarm for like 6 o'clock in the morning just so I could have the feeling of waking up and knowing I can go back to sleep. Because if you don't do that, you just sleep till 11 or whatever. You don't get that. But the best feeling in the world is when you're tired. Yeah. And you're like, I can go to sleep. When I was on The Bachelor, I would nap all the time. If we had downtime, I was napping. I did not want to deal with the drama of the girls. I come wake you up and tell you they need footage of you and need B-roll and make you go do stuff. And I'd be like, oh, and I got so used to sleeping with a mic pack on my back. It didn't even faze me anymore.

I would just lay there in pain and fall asleep because I'm a good sleeper. And one of the girls came up to me and she went, and this is what got in my head. She goes, you nap a lot, are you depressed? And I was like, is that a real thing? But then people confirm that. A little pack would get hot on you when you're sleeping too. See, I dealt with all that on teen mom too when I was on there. You're on teen, what?

That's a joke. But I do know about reality stuff, see. Well, because you were on a couple reality shows. It was with Jesse James Decker. Who else? Stone Cold Steve Austin. Oh, yeah. Stone Cold Steve Austin.

Legend. Oh, that's what, you want it, didn't you? Yeah. What was it? Tell me about this reality show. That's something to be proud of. Is that a three second song? That's something to be proud.

No. Doesn't matter. We'll get to it later. You're here to look stuff up whenever. Oh, yeah. No, I don't need you to, but I'm just like, to have a podcast now you've got to have somebody like like hey check on that

no it's my favorite thing to do is fact checked I wasn't asking you to look anything up no ask her because you got yeah you got all those computers over there there you go wait what is something to be proud of what we're saying winning a reality show being very sarcastic in a way

wait what was the reality show though what did you win for it was it was it was like a competition show you know but they still it was like the real world road rules kind of thing where they did like stuff, but it was still all people in a house. And I couldn't figure out why they cast me for it.

I was playing at a bar in Florida, and some guy comes up and said, hey, I'm a cast an agent for the show on CMT. And I thought, if they mentioned that I played music, it might help a little bit. Right. And they put us in a hotel for a week and did all these psych evaluations and stress tests. And the questions were so insane. It was like, my father's a good person, true or false. And, like, the work of a librarian interests me, true or false.

And it could have just been one question. insane true or false but apparently i passed or whatever and they just had all these people in the house they were supposed to like bump heads you know the personalities and i was just boring i slept the whole time the producer would constantly come wake me up and go hey we need footage of you how long was filming a month and a day and we were in the house and what was the end prize uh it was 100 grand me and a partner split it so it was a guy girl teams and everybody was against each other what was crazy though was like i knew it was a competition show so i thought well at least half the episode It's going to be that, so it won't just be crazy drama in the house.

But I didn't drink or anything while I was near because it was very, very boring. But once it got towards the end, there was only like three teams left. It's still an hour-long episode, and there's only six people. Yeah. So to find a way to make that into a show is pretty tough for me, especially with how boring I was. Why were you so boring? Because I just didn't do anything. But you weren't like, I'm here to make television.

No, no, no, no, I had no, I had no interesting. You're like, I just want to win? Well, yeah, I want to win, but I just thought it might make. being CMT were the show aired, I thought they might look me up, you know, social media like it is, and find out that played music and it might help my career. I was nobody at the time, like, as far as touring or anything. So do you feel like TikTok blew up your career? What did it for you?

I don't know TikTok wouldn't even around when I was playing. Well, I know you, like, have done stuff since 14, but what was, like, what was the moment for you? TikTok came around in 2014? No, you did. Oh, I was supposed to say. I was like, I was late on that train anyway. No, no, no. It wasn't one thing.

Like, I played for problems. eight years, three nights a week in, you know, Northeast Alabama. And then it would get to be like Athens, Georgia. Somebody called from this college or Tuscaloosa or, you know, Mississippi State or whatever. And so I started to play a lot of like frat parties and stuff. And I wrote song to put music out and eventually started selling a couple thousand tickets like in the southeast. And then went on tour with Brad Paisley after I signed a record deal. Then, you know, Jason Aldine, Luke Bryan, Luke Combs, Dirk's Bentley.

And it just, you know, slowly got bigger. Who's your favorite? Who's the worst? I mean, like, I would love to give you, like, some like this dude was a jerk, but everybody's really nice. I don't really have a worse. But that's something about country music that's different than other genres is they don't have a Nashville. Everybody's here. Everybody works with everybody. You kind of have to treat people respectfully in some sense.

Dirk's was a lot of fun. I enjoyed him a lot. So one time, my girlfriend had a bachelor at party in Scottsdale, and he was there. He has like a bar there, I think. and he went he was beside us at partying at a different table and he looked like he was the best time yeah he's fun he's a funny dude I enjoy to hang on him do you feel like what what is your fan base would you say I feel like it's everything from like teen girls to like grown men well I think what what has kept my career growing is that it does it's become a lot younger you know I mean I'm 35 and almost 36

Yeah, this week or whenever this air is yesterday, whatever this week, whatever I'm supposed to be pretending. Yeah, I'm mid-30s and I have a lot of fans that are my age because I think I write from a place that I know, you know, and still like think of my dad in a certain way and my grandparents were in my life and those kind of things. People that grew up like I did, people that are much younger than me didn't grow up in a time where your phone didn't do everything it does now. Like I had a cell phone where it didn't, you had snake and you could call on. I loved Snake. Yeah. Snake was... And that was exciting then.

The fact that I, I remember for Christmas I got one of those phones was Nokia or something. And it was like ringing under the Christmas tree. And I was like, oh, my God. And it was a see-through pink so you could like see the wires over the phone. And then I spent like so much time playing Snake. Yeah. I was so good. You know what was strange is I still remember like four or five of my best friends' parents, home phone numbers.

Oh, same. To get into my phone right now is my phone phone phone. A 20-something-year-old kid doesn't know anybody's phone number. No. Well, they don't even know how to write in cursive anymore. Do you know that? They probably don't know how to give anybody directions either. No.

I read to follow somebody's handwritten directions. I remember, yes. They used to print them out off the internet. What was that called? MapQuest. My buddy lived in a cabin so far out in this country side. Like, what am I talking about countryside? Farm, whatever.

Sounds like a little house on the prairie pole or something in the countryside. Totally. That was what I was doing. Summertime. It's a song right there. But they would say, okay, when you get to, and I'm Canadian, so it was kilometers. When you, three kilometers turn left, five kilometers, you got to turn right. Then there's this back road after 10, and that's how I handwritten in the dark trying to read that to find his cabin.

Yeah. It's crazy. If you hit the yellow house, you went too far. Yeah. But doesn't that freak you out with technology where you're like, if we've already come this far in like 20 years, what is 20 years? gonna look like nobody's gonna have jobs anymore a i's already writing songs for people i saw a thing the other day and it was like it was like a picture of like 18 whatever it was like a wagon and a horse and and then it was a picture of like 1912 and it was like still a wagon in a horse you know but then in the

last like 50 years what's happened cars are driving themselves yeah there's a car that drives itself good news is all this technology it takes a lot longer to get to where i live in alabama are you like living out in nowhere? There's one flashing light and one little gas station called Green Store. And that's really where you live? Yeah.

My driveway's a mile long. Wow. Yeah. And you love it? It's great. Do you have animals? I got some goats and some miniature pigs

and some dogs and fish and the lake. I got Carl, he's a little cowboyie corgi corgi blue hair mess. Oh, I love a corgi. And then I got jazz as a lab and he like thinks he's her.

Yeah. Carl Morse into whatever animal he's around like when he's with the pigs he like roots in the ground and he's with the goats he climbs on stuff and jazzy swims in the lake funny yeah and are you living there by yourself when i can yeah okay were you at the people's choice awards recently all the cool guys weren't there i met um ella who you did that song with that everybody knows i'm obsessed with her talking voice yeah pretty country yeah it's so country i was with i'm do you know carly Pierce. She's one of my best friends. And so she introduced me to Ella. And then I was my niece

frees out. My niece is like a huge fan of yours too. And she was like, did you meet Ella? I saw Carly did. And I was like, no. And she was like, yes, you did. You were with her. And then she shows me the song. And I was like, ah, yes, I did meet that girl. She's cool. What was it like working with her? I was great. She was on tour this year. And I don't think any, either one of us knew that song was going to be as big of a hit. But she's done shows with me for you. She's from Alabama as well. Yeah. So she's doing really well.

She's got to having a whole moment. So. Yeah. She's cool. She's just a. The word vibe is very overused, but she to me is a vibe. Yeah. Yeah.

Go on. It's a nice lady. So I was thinking about this because somebody asked you on, I don't know if it was a radio show. I can't remember what we were doing our research. And you said you've never been in love before. True or false? I'm like into your psych test now. Well, it depends on what in the, I mean, it could have been true at the time, you know.

I don't know. I feel like I feel like I've been in love before. I just, I think that for the last probably six years, I've been easily distracted by my lifestyle. Yeah. As far as being on the road and all that, like, you know, most people have regular jobs and, and yeah, there's a thing you can get promotions and you can have this happen or whatever. But for the most part, you have a routine. There's no routine in what I'm doing.

And, you know, you have like, sign a record deal, have a number one song, go on, with Brad Pays, there are Luke Colmes, Luke Bryan, and play the Grand Ole Opry, play the, you know, Red Rocks, all these things that are distracting from what I would say is an actual real normal life. Yeah. Because what I'm doing is not reality. So it's hard to live a reality lifestyle relationship with somebody when you don't live in a reality.

Yeah, I always think that way about, you know, like actors, musicians. I'm like... Well, there's a lot of actors and you see getting divorced and remarried and remarried and, yeah, it's a tough lifestyle. feel like country has such pressure on it almost like country like we're supposed to be wholesome yeah you're supposed to be wholesome and like married forever and loving and like family and like country just has so much pressure i feel like on it for what you're supposed to be well lyrically it's a it's a storytelling genre so i think the storybook ending is kind of what fans look for

that's true i feel like i've said this before if i just said what i was feeling on my instagram story people would be like, you're not well. And if I wrote it in a country song, they'd be like, relatable! Don't you feel that way? Yeah, I'd do both. Where does your songwriting, like inspiration come from? Just like your life or... Yeah, I mean, I guess I have a fairly decent imagination to make stuff up,

but a lot of it's from at least some type of experience or something I saw that made me think a certain thing. So, yeah. Yeah, I write a lot about my actual life growing up and family and relationships. Mm-hmm. And do you think, because you were an athlete your whole life? Yeah, up till recently. Like when? How recent? I got old. Yeah. Well, that happens. No, I played three sports in high school and a little football in college. And you have siblings that... Two older sisters. Also athletic, right? Just in the blood. We were just really into sports growing up. Well, when you work hard at something, but I feel like, I feel like sports, athletes are just so driven and motivated. And I feel like that could probably translate into being a music.

musician as well. I think that the abstractness of your goals is what's similar. So you play sports, you can work as hard as you want or not as hard as you want. You can slip by by doing the bare minimum, whatever. Nobody can make you do anything. And you're not promised to have going to the next level. Yeah. But, and it could end the next day. Yeah. That's how music is. That's so fair. So I mean, it's like I say all the time when I go back home, I complain to my buddies that do construction work I used to build houses with, and they don't feel sorry for me. Yeah. You know, and I'm like, well, I can't really blame anybody because I have to say yes to everything I do.

Yeah. But it's just like how far do you want to go with it? What do you think your favorite song to perform is? Changes a lot. Right now, it might be worse way, just because it's such a big song. Yeah. You know, it's cool to see a song take on a life of its own. Like it hasn't been on the radio, really.

It wasn't a single. It's a song that I put out that really has just become a big hit. Yeah. I feel like, because your whole family was into music as well, right? Yeah. I mean, we always liked music. My granddaddy Buford was a big music guy, and we kind of sat around and played. But there was no, like, big musical talent.

My sister Lindy was a good singer, but I certainly didn't think I got any of it, you know? What do you mean? I mean, I feel like I can carry a tune. Like, people don't throw stuff at me, but I'm not like the best singer by any means. I'm not going to sing the national anthem anywhere. I sing like this Just like I talk It may be interesting

You know it might sound You know how people When you go up north Your voice like Oh I love your accent You know like that's Maybe that's what it is Do people or does this annoy you

If people ever compare you to Sam Hunt Because he does this thing talk It hasn't happened until just now I like Sam I think our music's a little different In a lot of ways But we grew up really similar Did you?

Yeah Do you like holidays Like are you a big Yeah That's my Christmas tree been up since last year and it's on I get to wit

Do you ever go to Santa's pub? No Oh, just kidding No I just see I don't know I feel like you would enjoy it there Have you heard of it?

Yeah Oh you just don't go I don't really spend a lot of time in Nashville I've met like the Nashville and stuff What is your favorite thing to do Like if you're not If you're not at home

And you're not doing music What do you love to do? Where am I at if I'm not at home And I'm not doing music? Is that? Like I'm space? I'm in transit I guarantee you to

Just somewhere. Really? If I could go do anything, I get a place in Florida. I go to the beach. I like going down there. Do you like fishing? Yeah. Oh.

I just like so to give a comparison, my farm is three hours from Nashville. Okay. I got 680 acres down there. My family lives all around there. Oh, that's so nice. My dogs, you've got a lake. Yeah. And I've been there twice in the last five months.

Ah. So, and that's three hours later. Yeah, if you want to. I do. Do they get along with golden retrievers? Oh yeah. Carack's along with anybody. I'm obsessed. What do you think the hardest part of being a musician is?

Be on the road. Yeah. Travel. Are there, is there anyone out there that likes that? Like, finds it easy? Or does everybody struggle with that? I'll tell you who likes it. People that do about half of what I'm doing of it. If I could play 60 or 70 shows a year, I think I would enjoy it. Yeah. But does that mean you're doing better, though? It means I'm in a spot where I feel motivated to say yes to a lot of things. I would say I'm in a spot where, for, Fortunately, people are coming to our shows and downloading our music, so we're valuable in the sense of people give us a lot of opportunities. I'm in a spot where I'm not quite big enough where I can say no to a lot of that yet. Yeah, yeah. You know, the bigger your shows get, like if you're playing a stadium, you can't play within so many hundreds of miles of that stadium for so many months, so you play less shows. Fair. What's with you in pickleball?

You don't like it. Yeah, I've never got into pickleball. I don't like, I don't like, I think my advantages in life are my height, maybe my quickness. And I feel like pickleball negates a lot of that. When I first heard the term pickleball, it was in, like, nursing homes or playing it. It is kind of an older sport. No, that's how it was introduced to me. It was, like, what they played in, like, nursing homes.

Yeah. And now it's very popular now. I'm sure that's probably the most hate I've ever got it's for me saying I didn't like pickleball because pickleballers are serious. Oh, the pickleball community is like the T-Swift community. They'll get you. The good news is pickleball couldn't catch me anyway. So they're on that slow, tiny court.

Ooh, it's fighting words again. Wait, what was I just going to say? No telling them. Why did they call you Duckman? What's your Instagram handle again? Riley Duckman. Why did they call you Duckman? Did you say Duckman?

You were going to say Duckman? Dougman. I had somebody call me that. Yeah, it's not like a last name. I just like the Duck Hunt when I guess whenever Instagram came out. I don't remember when that was. Oh. Maybe Riley Green was taken too.

Maybe. I mean, I wasn't like famous then. I just like I liked the duck hunting. I think I probably was posting pictures of me duck hunting. Like on Nintendo or like in real life? It's a great question, in real life. Okay, thank you. I used to love that game on Nintendo.

I did too. Duck hunting, that was so fun. You have an album coming out, a new one. October, what? 18. On your birthday? That's right. Oh, tell me about this new album.

Don't mind if I do. No, yeah, that's it, right? Yeah. Yeah. Tell me about it. Okay. What? It's great.

You're going to love it. It's so good. I do. I love all your music. No, it's great. It's got some songs on it that I recorded. I'd written several years ago. It's got some brand new songs.

I'm excited about it getting out. What is your favorite song on the album? Probably Jesus saves. Okay. Why? It makes me feel something. It's like sad kind of positive song. Okay.

I like it. I like that. Can you like tease what it's about? Yeah, it's about a guy I saw on the side of the road in Nashville, Tennessee, and like his story. Yeah. What is it spirit overall of your new album? Is it like faith? Is it kind of a mixture of everything?

It's a lot of different types of songs. Mm-hmm. Girls? Yeah. There's some love songs on there. Mostly break up songs. I think that's kind of where I live at. I always say I'm like the guy that's sitting in a lawn chair in his front yard with the cooler of cheap beers, the girl that rides off. It was probably too good for him in the first place. Have you had a few of those? Surely. Really? Yeah. Anyone I would know? I don't think so. I mean, I don't know. I don't know. Oh, boring. I was just think Nashville's so small, but then I'm like, you're not really in Nashville, so I never know. But you're also doing a tour

in 2025, right? Are you going to go to Canada? Sure. Starting in Canada. Yeah. Nice. In Canada, have you toured there before? I'm sure. What's your favorite province? The Providence of the Rising Sun? I don't know. What is the Providence? I don't know. Oh my God. Americans. That's why it'd be different if you asked me that question in Canada. I didn't know. We're in Tennessee. Yeah, but if you tour in Canada, I'm 30, I'm 36 years old. I've never used province in my life. Well, you're not even seeing it right. It's province.

See? You know it would have been really easy? What? If you would have said, hey, what's your favorite place that you played there? I don't like making it easy. I want to, I like, I'd be like if I didn't speak English. Why do you think I have a spelling bee for you at the end of this podcast? It feels that way now.

Little do you know. Okay. In Canada, where's your favorite place to tour? Calgary. Yeah. That's Cowtown. love country music there. Yeah. Isn't that where Bamp is? Yeah.

Very close. So I grew up in Edmonton. I grew up in Edmonton. Is Edmonton closer? Bamp is closer to Calgary. We did those shows back to back. Yeah. Edmonton is where I grew up and that's where my family still is. Calgary's like two hours north and Bamp is like a few hours from there. Yeah. It's Bamp is the best. So where can people find your tour dates if they want to go? Probably on my website. Yeah, rallygreen music.com. And what do people expect from your

The province, the Raleigh Green music. Providence. Are you like hype on stage? Do you like throw down? Are you chill? This is about it right here. What you see is what you get kind of thing? I'm actually extremely hype right now. Really? Yeah. This is you hype. Otherwise you're pretty. Pretty mellow most of the time. Yeah. Other than this.

No, there's definitely some high energy moments. I just don't do a lot of dancing around. You're just, you just are who you are. Yeah. You're a country music artist and you're not, you're not performative. You just do what you like. Performative meaning like inauthentic. Like you're just going to show up and do what you're going to. Yeah.

And you have other people to rely on. I live in my wheelhouse. I know what I've been successful at and I try to do that as often as I can. Fair enough. Try to create those moments. Do you get nervous on stage? No. Mostly just in interviews.

Really? Podcasts. People when they ask you like Canadian trivia? They ask me about providences and stuff. Yeah. Good. That my word air is. done. Okay, spelling B. I heard you aren't a good speller.

I just spell things like they sound. Well, then this game is going to be great. Okay. I like to, with my guess, I like to get them to tell me a confession, something really embarrassing that's happened to them or play a game. And for you, we're doing both. Okay. Okay. So not only do I not get a choice, but we'll get to play a game called How Dumber You at the end of the interview. Absolutely. But the beauty is, I'm a very nice person and I'm Canadian. And at the end, you're like, can you take that out? I will. I don't want you to take any you have it out. Good. I feel like I'm going to ace this test. Okay. Are you ready? Spell restaurant. R-E-S-T-A-R. Are you going to the mall? No, that's wrong. Oh. A-U. Yeah. R-A-N-T?

R-E-N-T? Yes. Yeah. I helped you a little bit, but not bad. I'd be really good if I could write it down. I got to see it. That's what it is. Well, that's what I always just do like with my finger. Yeah, my finger doesn't help. Okay. Would you like a pen? No, that's okay. I don't want to cheat. Spell disguise. D-I-S-G-U-I-S-E. Yeah. Okay.

Ceiling. C-E-E-L-I-N-G? No. Oh. C-E-I-L-I-G. Yeah. I'll tell you what the second guy is good. Use take two. Anonymous.

A-N-N-O-N-O-N. M-O-U-S? No. I could see why you'd think that, though. So, yeah, that's how it sounds. It's A-N-O-N-Y-M-O-U-S. See, why, was there a Y? If it makes you feel better, I thought I was a good speller, and I blew it with Anonymous.

I thought it was two ends. You know the only way this game would be fair? What? Is if I got to come in with some words to ask you to spell to. Come right back at me. I don't have any. I wouldn't know how to spell them, so I can't tell if you're wrong or not. That's what your phone's for.

Tacky. I left on the car. Huh? khaki k k k k a k a k a that's that's dumb it's kiki kiki have you ever heard of i think i was going to spell kayak have you ever heard of the show um trailer park boys that's he always calls them kahiki pants um okay scissors S I No

S Y No S Z I don't know As many times you have said that word to me Scissors Yeah Why do you always need scissors

I don't It's not me that needs the scissors Who needs the scissors Tell me This could lead into An embarrassing story That I need Not me

She had to get her on the mic I don't have any stories I always talk about her. It's because I'm a lesbian. So he asked you about scissoring? No, no. I didn't ask like I'm curious. I'm just like Laramie's got some stuff to do later.

You know, like, whatever. I don't know. Or if I would think a girl's cute, Laramie always likes the girls I like. So then it's like a... You guys mean, I'm going to have a scissors fight later. A scissor fight, that's what I say. I'm obsessed.

That's our relationship. Wait, I like that, though. That's fun. Yeah. So spell it. But that doesn't mean I can spell it. It's S-C- I spelled different when you do it, though, like, versus the real thing.

Do they have a different spelling for you? That's spelled the same. S-C-I-S-S-O-R-S. Okay. You know what, I don't care. Let me tell you an embarrassing story or something. Tell me. They're going to get bored with this spelling game.

Tell me. Give us a spicy story. Spicy? Like something. That's completely different than embarrassing. Okay. Embarrassing. That's what most people do on the pod.

Embarrassing? Embarrassing, yeah. Like something that you're kind of ashamed of. Or something that you don't want people to know, but now you're going to because you're on the podcast. And that's what we do. Okay. That's great. Yeah. So I was at the airport one time.

Okay. And I was sitting in the front and this guy, I brought this guy on the plane and he was blind. Okay. So the guy was, they had like obviously a person like helping him and he sat by me and, you know, we didn't talk or anything.

We land and I get to the baggage claim waiting on my bag. And the guy brings the guy over and puts him right by the baggage claim where the little bags come out. And then he leaves. Okay. And I was like He's not going to know when his bag comes out So I went over there

And I got this close To asking him what his bag looked like Oh no And I assume he would have just said Well I would love to know asshole But I've never seen it You know So I was trying to be a nice guy

I didn't say it But I still felt the embarrassment I walked all the way over there And like But how did he get his bag Now I'm worried about him I don't know I left I ran

I was so embarrassed I ran Could still be there for all I know. You could have said what does it feel like? What does it feel like? Yeah, what does your bag feel like? Then I'm going to have to feel every bag that comes out. That's a good idea. See, that's what I'm talking about. She thought she solved the problem there.

Hey, do you know what I always say? No. Well, I'm going to tell you. Okay. People, when I drink too much, they go, and I do something that go, you're going to regret that in the morning. And so I sleep till noon because I'm a problem solver. Nice. Yeah. I expected, I don't know why

I expected a better reaction out of you because you are very here, so I don't know why I thought you were going to laugh really hard at that. It was funny. It was like my dad made that joke. It was good. Do you laugh hard ever? That was like, they said, you know why? They make sidewalks. Why? Because the streets ain't for everybody. That's what that reminded me of. That's good. But I've never used it in real life. But I gave you a chuckle. But that's what a podcast is for? What? Is it says things like that? Have you never? Is this your first podcast? Like one liners? This is my first one like this. No. What was busing with the boys? What was that one like? It was on a bus. And it was

It was a bunch of dudes talking about, like, dude stuff. Oh. You've seen that. I have never seen the podcast. Okay, well, it was not like this. I did one this morning. It was like deer hunting. It was like I was in deer hunting 101 this morning, yeah.

Do you like this or is? No, I'm having a great time. You are? Okay. Because you can be honest with me, too. I like honesty. You can be like this. It's hard to tell.

What? If I'm being honest or not, but I'm having a great time. Thank you for coming on the podcast. Yeah, thanks for having me. Was there anything that we didn't touch on that you would like to give? I can't imagine that there was. You know? I can't tell.

And you know what? If we did miss something, I'll just come back. Okay, because you're very mysterious to me. It's probably the mustache. No, my dad has a mustache. Mustaches feel safe to me. Oh, that's nice. Yeah.

My dad's like the, he shaved his mustache once when I was 14 years old. And I cried my eyes out. And he has not. ever shaved it since. And I like that mustaches are making a comeback. Like it used to be like Mo Vamber and people would be like, oh, he's got a mustache. But now it's like, it's cool. If you were a guy, would you do have a mustache? 100% I would have a mustache. If I was a guy, I would hope to be a hockey player. I would have a mustache and I would just quote movies all the time and nap. That would be my life. I'm really close on that one.

Really? Yeah. What is your favorite movie to quote? Well, probably what I quote the most, like, Happy Gilmore. Oh, God, same. My mom gets so annoyed at me every time we go golfing. She's like, it was funny five years ago. Yeah. Yeah. Waterboy.

A lot of Adam Sandler movies. Yeah. What do you feel about Happy Gilmore, too, coming out? Well, I mean, it's all we're doing now is remakes of classic movies. I don't like that. At least it's cool that he's still in it. Did you see the Bob Barker and him thing on SNL or whatever it was? No.

Where they, like, fought Bob Barker was in the hospital bed? No. It was really, and you watch this on YouTube. Okay, I will. No, but the dumb, no, what was it, dumb and dumberer when they did it? It was still Jim Carrey and the other guy. They didn't watch the other one. It was so bad.

Yeah. I was so disappointed, so that's why I'm scared for. That'd be a good podcast topic is to talk about movies. The second or third one was as good as the first one. None of them are. Back in the futures are close. Okay. Fair.

Part of the Caribbean are close. Fair. I'll tell you another one's close. Rush Hour 3 is probably the best rush hour. So that's right off top. I've never seen Rush Hour. Okay, well, then you don't know. Did Brett Ratner direct all of them?

I'm not a scientist. I don't know who directed the movies. That's not science. I just enjoyed watching the movie. That's not science. See, I gave her some information on a movie she didn't know, and she had asked me a question that she knew I didn't know the answer to. She had the Tommy Topper me right there.

Wait, that is so me. I just named three trilogies where the second ones and third ones are as good as the first one. You said, well, who directed it? I'm like, what? See, that's the thing. I don't quote movies as much. I used to have to say weird phrases like that a lot. I say the weirdest.

And you know what else you would like us saying? When people ask me questions about like a baseball game. Yeah. I go, I don't know. I don't really keep up with hockey. Or like a football game or basketball or any sport at all. That's fair. Your humor is very dry.

Oh, yeah. Okay. Sure. I like take it as a challenge. I think that's what I'm doing here. Obsessed. You know who won a Stanley Cup in 1981? Anyway, next question.

Yeah. Yeah, the Oilers. The Houston Oilers? No. the Edmonton Oilers. Houston Oilers is football. Wait, this is a good question. Okay. When you said the Edmonton Oilers, that's in Canada.

Yeah. You're talking about in American hockey, or is there two different, or the same thing? Oh, Riley. So you don't like hockey here? Of course I do. Well, that's what I'm talking about. I like hockey. Houston Oilers, were they not football?

Wait, they give the Stanley Cup to Canadian hockey teams? Oh, my Lord Almighty. I thought it was like there's NFL that's in the U.S., and there's like Canadian football. I love that this is recorded and on Mike. This is, no, this is making me so happy. You literally think that Canada has a separate, because CFL and NFL? And baseball and basketball and all that. Hockey's the same everywhere.

What are the Toronto Raptors? What are the Toronto Maple Leafs? Fictional teams, I assume. I have to guess. Sounds like you made them up. I'm sending you home with homework and it's doing Canadian research on the sports. So this is, this is what. interesting about this podcast is you ask me questions about things that I should know

nothing about and then spit off details that you know I know nothing about I'm from Alabama there's no ice there you know many hockey teams you have in Alabama okay ask me an Alabama question okay uh what's our biggest crop um corn no there's no corn out it's cotton that was my second guess yeah okay ask me one more okay um who's the most famous singer from Alabama Alan Jackson No, it's from Georgia. Chattahoochee, way down yonder on the Chattahoochee. Um, Kenny Chesney. I don't even know where, Kenzie from Tennessee. Oh, just kidding.

Okay, my last guest is George Strait. Texas. Okay, who? And this is a country music podcast we're doing here. Well, it's not, it only is because you're here. This is just a podcast about anything. You invited me. Yeah.

You got a sheet. I don't have any sheet on you in these fictional hockey teams you made up the whole time. What? Sam Hunt. No, he's from Georgia. Give me a hint. Well, he's here. Yeah.

Does he have a bar? No, probably. Probably Randy Owen. I don't even know who that is. Alabama? The group Alabama. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Probably got 50 number ones, I think.

Oh. Yeah. I didn't know the name. I know that band. Wait, you have a bar. What's it called? The duck blonde. Oh, shocker.

Yeah. Okay. Get out of here. Just, okay. I'm just kidding. What, did you have something else? What time is it in Alabama right now? Is this a trick question?

It's, um, it's five, same times here. Five o'clock somewhere would have been a really good answer. That would have been good. Yeah, let's go ahead. What was it? What was the question? What time is it in Alabama? Five o'clock.

That doesn't make sense. It's five o'clock somewhere. That's Alan Jackson. He's not from there. It would have been great. That would have loved. You're talking to my crime now. You've got me on here.

Yeah. Hey, she's all right. She's not that bad. She's not all about that hockey stuff. I'm Caitlin Bristow. I'll see you next Tuesday. See your next Tuesday. coffee and discover nonstop action with BudMGM casino. Check out our hottest exclusive. Friends of

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