Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Sarah Nicole of The Birds Papaya

Episode Date: September 15, 2020

Sarah Nicole, blogger known for her page The Birds Papaya where she shares her family, life and the message of self-love, joins Kaitlyn on the pod this week! She shares her experience with her past pregnancies, what she expects from her current one and how she plans on doing a home birth. Later, the ladies discuss everything 90’s including their new Dew Edit line, memories from the decade and a deep dissected analysis of Ross Geller’s toxicity. You don’t want to miss it! GEICO – Go to geico.com , and in fifteen minutes you could be saving 15% or more on car insurance EXPRESS – Text VINE to 397-737 to receive $25 off your purchase ALBERT – Install Albert from the App Store or Google Play today and get a bonus of up to $40 when you start an annual subscription to Albert Genius OXICLEAN – To Work your Magic with OxiClean, go to OxiClean.com/tryme and order a free stain-fighting sample while supplies last PAYPAL – PayPal is making it easy to pay safely, quickly and easily. Download the PayPal app today SHIPSTATION – Try ShipStation FREE for 60 days when you use offer code VINE at ShipStation.com  HOME DEPOT – You can save even more on the styles you love when you use code OFFTHEVINE10 at checkoutSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Who's down with OTV? Who's down with OTV? Podcast One presents off The Vine with Caitlin Bristow. Caitlin is creating a space where girls and gents can feel empowered to be themselves.

Get ready for lots of laughs. Tabby topics. On filtered advice and wine. Lots of wine. Get ready to shake things up. Here's Caitlin. Thank you for doing this so late, by the way. I know it's late there for you and you're friggin' pregnant and you have kids and you're a busy woman and I just appreciate you working around my schedule.

No, it's fine. I actually slept until like 10 today because it's a long weekend. So I was like, whatever, it's totally fine. It actually worked out really well because my in-laws are actually drove down like 10 hours and everyone wanted an early night tonight. So I was like, perfect. I got a call. Like I just came off of an online class that just like wrapped at 9 o'clock. So this worked out like perfect.

Perfect. What kind of online? You little go-getter. What kind of online class are you doing? No, it's not like it's like the deep uncomfortable kind, but really, really good. I'm taking an anti-racism course that's like really intense for like a couple months. And I signed up for it back in the spring, but I had no idea how sick I would be. And it like, it requires attendance, which is really, really good. But it's really, it's so powerful and it's so good. But it's deeply uncomfortable. So I, I'm just like sitting in that a little bit. Yeah, that's good though. I mean, I feel like that's something that we've all talked about from the beginning of, I know this movement didn't start just now, but I think that's something we've all talked about on podcasts is how we can get uncomfortable with it and how that's a good thing because we should be uncomfortable with it. 100%. And so good for you for doing that. Are you just learning so much? And yeah, I think a lot of it comes from like actually admitting where you've benefited from racism. And I think that.

is like, and then there's like the part of you that's like, oh, I feel so upset that this is something I've done and then not being fragile about it and like being like, no, I have to own this and I have to be better. But yeah, I'm really, I'm really grateful that I actually back when it first happened that I signed up for the classes knowing that it would be later in the year because I feel like I, I am facing it ongoing, which I'm really, really, that part I'm really happy about. And it's, I mean, it's intense. It's so intense. And I think that it's going to be, I think it's going to change me. So I think, and I hope, I hope it changes me and I hope that I get those blinders off a little bit. Yeah, absolutely. I mean, I think we should all be

doing courses like that. That's good for you for taking action because, you know, we always talk about it. It's one thing to talk about it, but actions obviously speak, um, louder than words and, and to do something is incredible. So good for you. Hey, did you know that right now, GEICO is offering an extra 15% credit on car, motorcycle, and RV policies. That's 15% on top of the money, GEICO could already save you. So what are you waiting for? Your little pup to make you breakfast in bed with Belgian waffles and a fresh fruit compote.

As nice as that sounds, that's probably never going to happen. But at least there's never been a better time to switch to GEICO. Save an extra 15% when you switch by October 7th. Visit GEICO.com to learn more. You always inspire me with how much you've... I know everyone thinks I have so much on the go, but, like, you, you not only have so much on the go, but you just continue to grow and evolve and, like, show up for yourself, but other people as a mother, as an influencer, as a friend, like, you're just, you're always, um, you're always

there in doing the role you need to be doing. And I always wonder, I'm like, what are your, because I had a breakdown the other day. I did it, I said something on social media. And it was such a dumb breakdown. I think anything was going to throw me, throw me over the edge, because it was the, you know, perfect storm of hormones, PMS. I'm so drained. I'm so tired. And I'm an emotional person. And it was like I was waiting for something to throw me over the edge.

And so this time it was trolls. Damn it. But I'm like, you know, with everything that you've got going on, do you have moments where you're just like, I can't do it anymore? And you cry and you break down. And what did those look like for you? Yeah. Like way more than I think people realize.

And I think what I've dealt with a lot is like, I struggle with how guilty I feel when I'm having bad days. Like, I have carried around tremendous guilt for the last like four months because ever since I found out I was pregnant, I'm like, this is so exciting. This is so good. This is amazing. And I was like almost saying it because I was trying to believe it because what was really going on inside was deep, deep struggle. I had zero, I have zero, like, I shouldn't say zero. It's growing, but like I don't, I have a major detachment issue from the baby growing inside of me. I felt tremendous guilt over the fact that I wasn't enjoying this pregnancy because I'm hearing stories of those who are struggling so hard to even

conceive. And I'm like, how dare you? Like, how dare you even struggle? Like, you don't, you're not allowed. So it, it's almost been crippling because I've, like, this is where I'm actually at. but I feel like I can't even be honest about it because I don't know where to put it anymore. So I think, and to be fair, I think 2020 is one of the most fragile environments I've ever seen. We're just in a new time. And as you know, once your spotlight kind of grows a little bit, you have to open up this opportunity to greater opinions and a more vast variety of them. And I'm a people pleaser. So every time I'm hearing this stuff, it's like, it just breaks me down, breaks me down,

breaks me down. And then to cry about it makes you fragile, makes you weak, makes you this. And it's just like this constant internal battle of how do I be authentic? And how do I also wrestle with the fact that my authenticity isn't always okay for the environment in which I'm in? How do I remain authentic and not just appeasing an audience or en masse? even if like as I'm struggling, as I'm doing these things. And to be honest, once I started talking about things like I ended up being diagnosed with prenatal depression. And I've never been diagnosed

with any realm of depression before. So it was a bit of a, it was a bit of a huge hit for me. So when I actually started talking about it, I had no idea that this was actually insanely common and also incredibly dangerous to not talk about. So I not only put myself in danger. I put my child in danger. I put this whole pregnancy in danger by feeling like I wasn't allowed to have feelings or to be human or to break down. And I feel like when I watched you kind of struggling this week and I know you had that breakdown and stuff, but I was like, it's hard because I know at the same time you're like, I'm so blessed, but yet this is breaking me. It's like, how do you balance? Yes, I know I have this privilege. Yes, I know like I'm one of the rare lucky ones that gets this

moment, but also, I'm at capacity. I'm hitting it and I'm going to hit the floor and this is affecting me. And I think we really struggle with people on platforms, not allowing them a humanity that we all kind of deserve to have. And it just layers on shame that already deeply is a part of what so many people do. There's a lot of jobs that are highly abusive. I one time kind of said, like imagine walking into work one day and everyone just told you what a piece of shit you were. Like imagine just every day you were hit with praise and criticism every single time you stepped into your office. And I was like, this is what it feels like sometimes. And then I had people who were like, yeah, that's what it's like being a teacher. That's what it's like being a nurse.

That's what it's like working like this. And I was like, okay, there are lots of other industries where we step into this. But it doesn't make it right. It doesn't make it okay. And it makes it incredibly difficult to navigate as a human being, experiencing the world like everybody else is. You're so right. I have those moments all the time of guilt of why I am having depression or breakdowns. I'm like, oh, really? Caitlin, did a troll tell you that you look old? Like, that's what broke you? Like, it seems so silly, but like I said, it was such a buildup of so many other things. But, you know, everyone, which I love this part of it, is that everyone on the internet, seems to be way more like everyone's sharing more opinions and more of their life than we ever

have in you know ever so everyone is now not only trying to be like okay well I'm going to be really open about this pregnancy and how I'm feeling but then on the other side of it you're going to hear all of the the you know opinions of pregnancy and people who struggle with it and that's where we're saying like we have to be okay with that because yeah I love that people are being honest. I love that people are sharing their opinions and their stories and their struggles and their ups and their downs. And that is, you know, the more you're active and involved in social media and using a platform, the more you're going to deal with that. And it's hard to see it always as a positive and, and, like, constructive criticism or, like, it's

hard to see it like that when, because sometimes the delivery is poor, but you have to understand that everybody is going through something and you just never know like that like for example whoever called me like plastic and 75 years old or whatever I'm like they could be so severely depressed and upset and that was just like a weird outlet for them and then I let it bug me and then because I put it on social media my niece was bawling her eyes out I don't like it when people hurt my auntie's feelings and I'm like oh no now I've made her cry and like you go through that spiral of guilt just from your own feelings. And we're all trying to navigate that from being so open with one another these days. And on top of being in the year 2020. I think there's,

I think there's such a line with it too because I agree with you. Hurt people, hurt people. This is a reality of our world. When people are feeling pain, they often will put it on to somebody that they don't, that they've dehumanized for one reason or another. However, I also don't think that we deserve to be punching bags for the hurt. I think that that is such a toxic message that we tell people, hurt people, hurt people. And then we allow people to go out and and participate in toxic abusive relationships because they're like, well, that person's just hurting. And we sloughed them off. So it's kind of like a, you know what, this actually really did hurt me. And I realize it may have come from a hurt place. But like, I reject this. I'm taking a break. I'm drawing this line

here. And at the same time, also recognizing that we have this deep fear of being wrong. We have this deep fear of this cancel culture. And now that I think it's shifted into accountability culture, which is a lot better. I think it's a lot better. I don't, I'm not afraid of being canceled anymore. I think if anybody has been, you know, disproving her own messages for years like me, I love, I love being my own hypocrite. And so, but leaning into being okay, being wrong. And I I think that's one thing that I did for a long time was like, I just don't want to appear as being wrong. And now I'm like, every time I'm wrong is actually an opportunity to get something right. It's actually an opportunity to learn. And also recognizing the difference, this has been

a huge topic of conversation lately, but between somebody calling you out and calling you in, when somebody's calling you out, oftentimes they're looking to break you down. When somebody's mocking your face or who you are or things like that, they're looking to break you because they want to see you fall. When somebody actually comes to you with a criticism that is a call in, and they're like, hey, like, I've seen you talk about this. And I just wanted to kind of bring you a little bit of a different view or this is actually hit me in a way that didn't sit well. I'd love to have a conversation with you about it. So different in the way that we as humans respond. And I think that's what can be so difficult is when we talk about call out culture,

it feels so polarizing because I'm like, you know what, even for you. You deserve autonomy over what you do with your body, what you do with your life, how you spend your money, what you do to your face, if you wear makeup, if you have extension, you have that autonomy to do that and people will have opinions about it. But unless you were doing something that was actively hurting somebody else, unless it was your core character that was now in question, it does have to be, even though it's hurtful, it does have to be like, you know what, this person is not actually looking to build me up. They are looking to break me down. And I literally have to categorize people as, is this person actually care about who I am as a person and looking to help me and change me and to evolve me into something better?

Or do they just care to see me fall? And then when I see that, that's a bless them and blockum situation for me. Bless them and block them. I like that a lot. Bless them and block them. It's so I still like it was like an hour of crying. And then when I was done, I was like, Caitlin, come on, you little gangster. get your ass off the couch like this isn't you and I like slap myself out of it but I wanted people to know

that as silly as that is as like you know some random nobody who's jealous or insecure whatever they're feeling I wanted people to know that yeah hurt people hurt people like we said but that's not okay with me and I want to let people know that guess what I'm a human being and I have feelings and what you said is not okay and maybe they'll think about it next time and and I just like I can't ignore that kind of hate sometimes when it's every day and constant. And it's very easy to say ignore it. And but and you know what, 90% of the time I can. It's just 10% I'm emotional.

Which you're allowed. Yeah. Like are you not, you're allowed that grief, right? Like I think with everything in life, we're allowed those moments to grieve and to, to process and to digest like, sorry, but that's a meal. that's not going to go down easy. So it's okay if it kind of chokes a little on the way down or like diarrhea as its way out. Like let's be real here. It's not a great meal to enjoy. And I find this always happens to like for you, it happened on a different page. It wasn't on your platform.

It wasn't people coming to you. It was objectively talking about you behind your back in front of your face. Yeah. And this has happened to me quite a few times. And what I love about it is every single time it fuels my why. It fuels the reason that I, even if it's in the moment it's sucks, like it sucks hard. But somehow there's always an underlying, this is why I do what I do. This is why I have to show up authentically and unapologetically who I am because I know there is an army of people who wish to see me not do this, who wish to oppress me, who wish to kind of assign me a position in this world that is not meant for me. And the more that those hate messages kind of feed in and I read them and I grieve and I process then all of a sudden it's like

this who you're right like what you said like the shake up like get it off yeah it kind of reminds you like what are these people doing they are actually trying to box you in they're boxing you in with this what they want to see of you what they want to believe of you and that's not your pat that's not who you are that's not what you're here to do and so sad for them that they choose to see surface stuff with you instead of seeing the core person. That's just a sad surface level decision that they've made. And that's just unfortunate for them. Yeah, I always think that because I don't know why it always seems to be as shallow as coming after my looks. And so I always have to be like, okay, like these are obviously the kind of people that don't want to see people for who they are on the inside. So their only thing

they can do is criticize the outside because they know that I'm not a horrible person. So. Yeah. You know what? They can attack that. All right, if you guys have been listening lately, then you know I've been doing some shopping at one of my favorite places to shop. That's Express. Express is all new and all about you with a fresh assortment of casual, versatile, and super comfortable styles. Now, not only do they have so many amazing things on their site, but Express is also a brand that encourages people to dream big and dress accordingly. They have an ongoing fundraiser called the Dream Big Project powered by GoFundMe, which was created to support charities. and organizations that share Express's mission of empowering people to go for their dreams. So to start, Express is supporting GoFundMe's Small Business Relief Fund to help those impacted

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And now you can text Vine to 397-7 to receive. receive $25 off your purchase. So be sure to visit their website and follow them on the gram for some inspo at Express. A girl who's a vino was telling me, she was like saying something nice to me in a comment. And somebody even came after her for supporting me. And she's somebody who hasn't opened up her world to, you know, the criticism and opinions of others on her social media. And she's still getting it.

So it's like we all struggle with it at some point to some level. Oh, yeah. Even if you think about it in the sense of like, let's say you have a bomb ass outfit that you love, but maybe a bit different than what you've normally worn. And you go up and you show up at your family party and that one relative says something like, oh, you're showing a lot of cleavage today or, oh, you're this. Like it happens to us all the time where we're facing opinions and we're facing these like mild oppressions, these little bits of things that are kind of like, that's not what I would have chosen for myself. And I wish you would have chosen it for yourself differently. And I think that what it brings me back to for someone like you is, dear gosh, could you imagine if you listen to all the stuff that people told you to be? Like, do you imagine how small of a person you would be and how into a box you would be and how not where you are right now if you actually listen to the criticisms? And I think that's where we can actually alchemize what those words are, what, where those words have place in our world, which is they don't.

They have an in and an out. But I do think that we have to process them. you have to digest them. They've kind of got to go through you. And it sucks on the way down. But at the end of the day, like, I do think that there's something to the fact that you were hated enough that says that there's something about you that people are scared of and need to kind of box you in because there's something. There's a spark. They're scared of. There's a, there's a something about you that is creating that type of reaction. And the best part of it is there's enough people who actually align with that fire, that align with that magic who are like,

you know what? It's because she's unapologetically this. That's why I'm here. That's why I'm here to stay. And I think that's what I've learned over time is how I, and maybe you feel the same way is how I come out of it quicker. And like I said on my Instagram the other day, I said, it's not, it's, it doesn't matter to me to drown in tears. I'm not trying to stay positive. I am going to drown in those tears, but feeling my feelings and sitting in all of that makes me come out of it better and more on top because I allowed myself those feelings and didn't say, no, I shouldn't feel that way and I can ignore them and sweep it under the rug. I think I bounce back and don't stay in those dark times very long because I'm able to process the feelings.

100%. If I've learned anything about feelings in the last like, I don't know, decade of my life is you can't actually just shove them away. Like they just, you can bury them as deep as you want, but it doesn't actually work. And I love the analogy between peacekeeping and peacemaking, peacekeeping being that that's what it's like when you sweep things under the rug and you're like, I'll deal with this later. I'll deal with this later. I'll deal with this later. Peacekeeping actually picks up the dirt.

It actually sits with those feelings in, in that dirt a little bit. But guess what? That rug doesn't pile up. You don't trip over it later when you don't see it coming. And so when it comes to feelings, even when they really suck and they come out of nowhere and that's what I've been facing a lot lately, like since the pandemic began, I've been like all of a sudden I'm like the happiest person. Like I'm little mispositivity and all of a sudden it'll be like, I'm down and I'm not okay.

And I can't even make sense of it myself. And just allowing those feelings to actually live at the surface, they seem to kind of go by faster, almost similar to like, whenever we go to a therapy session, if you ever gone to a therapy session, you walk in, you're like, everyone's like, therapy's so great, it feels so amazing, it's so this, so that. And then you go and you're like, I, that to hurt like hell. Like, I just bowl my eyes out for 35 minutes and like snot down my face. Like, that was not enjoyable experience. But somehow you do walk away and you're like breathing a little bit better and the next day feels a lot lighter. And you're like, gosh, it's not a pretty,

process, two process feelings, but by dealing with them actually lets you feel lighter and actually allows you to kind of peacemake and move on from them, right? So, gosh, I'm, I'm a crier. So I'll do it all. I'll cry on my Instagram every other day. Same. I'm such a crier. Happy, sad, I cry. I'm like, all the time. Yeah, especially when it's the hormonal time. But that's, I'm hoping 2020 is like that mess and the dirt and the like not letting it pile up or it's just like we're all in it together freaking out and we're going to get through it on the other side that's what I'm like trying to hope for I've been living by what I call the washing the washing machine analogy of 2020 it's like we all went into a washing machine and we're covered in dirt and

there's and it's like but 2020 doesn't get you didn't just get into the washing machine covered in dirt and you come out clean how do washing machines work? If you actually watch them, like, I was actually like thinking about it while watching a cycle of laundry, they actually smack against walls and each other in order to get clean. So it's like, you actually have to go through massive agitation in order to get clean and come out the other side. So 2020 is like the actual washing machine of our lives. And it's going to hit the crap out of us. Oh, is this Pino his little sweet face?

Pino's trying to get up on this little tiny bench that I have, which, but, which, but, By the way, it's so funny because I'm sitting on this little bench. We have this small, well, it's actually, it's a beautiful condo that they gave us for Dancing with the Stars. But it's like, I had to get Jason to go, you know, he's going to get something to eat right now because we're just stuck in this small. And we're so used to a house and having our own rooms. And now we're like, oh, you are right there all the time. Okay, cool. Yeah, this is where we are.

He knows, like, also confused because he can usually come up and podcast with me on my chairs. So now he just tries to like balance. on this little bench. I'm sitting here. I've seen my knee because I'm, apparently my body doesn't move like it used to back in my day. And it's like week one of rehearsals. And I think I have to get knee surgery. Like a new knee after all of this. Yeah, I swear I'm going to have a new knee. You're going to be a bionic woman after this. Have you ever tried to do an ice bath? Have I chosen what? Have you ever tried an ice bath? No, I'm freaking scared. I have like, even like those Nordique spas where they're like you go from a cold bath to a song and I'm like I literally dipped in them for two seconds

that I was like not for me no I'm actually going to one tomorrow I'm very scared it's my day off and I'm like I have to do something but I just tried to do Hannah gave me a um foot bath for my feet and she was like yeah you can do like an ice bath and I was like oh that always seems like such a good thing to do for muscles I've never tried it and my feet are just freaking killing me so I'm like ice bath yeah I'm like ice in my knee and I'm like my ice bath at my feet I put it in for like 10 seconds. I can't do it. I cannot do it. Jason was like, come on. You got to get them numb before you like feel fine with it. You just got to sit through the pain. So I tried to meditate. And I was like, Caitlin, you're like so strong. You can do this. It's freaking ice. Like you're just putting your

feet in ice. And I literally couldn't do it. No. No. I know. I'm such a sucker for that stuff too. Like I can't even go in a sauna because I feel like the air is actually suffocating me. Like I and I've watched so many things where they talk about the ice stuff and they're like, you just have to you have to center yourself you have to like think beyond it like you have to get like and i was like i just don't think i'm that powerful a person i thought i was i had a very humbling experience with my foot bath today and now you're going to do your whole body and now i'm going to go do my whole body tomorrow but what was the post um humble humble the post or is humble the something on instagram do you know what i'm talking about or no no humble the poet i don't know it's something but

i saw him do an ice bath one time and he was doing it with like a group of people and and it was to show like, like, you want to jump out and how easy it is to jump out. And he had this whole philosophical like thing around like staying in the ice bath. I was sitting there like trying to think of him during that time with my feet. I probably lasted 30 seconds. And I was like, oh my gosh. Well, there's a guy who was recently on like the him and her podcast. I just was watching Skinny Confidentials.

Yeah. Um, stuff. And she had some guy who was like, he does ice stuff. He's called like the ice man. And I was like, well, like, he literally What? teaches people how to like, and she was saying this whole thing in her story is like,

why you should be having cold showers and I'll like swipe past this. I will not. Oh my gosh. You live your icy life. The William Hoff method. Have you heard of this? Yeah. That's literally who.

Yeah. That's who it is. Iceman Hoff. Oh my gosh. I just downloaded that app. And it says like you're supposed to take a cold shower every day. And I tried for, again, at least I'm trying. I am like, or I could make it really warm and cozy.

The only time I ever did it was when I heard that it's good for your hair. I heard that like it closes your hair shaft things a little better. And I was like, I just remember doing it and being like my whole body was like backwards trying to like just keep it in the, I'm a baby. I think I just have very, I think everyone has different levels of pain tolerance. And when we talk about experiences, oftentimes we talk about them from our own. it's like when people talk about childbirth and you think you know what you're talking about or breaking a limb or whatever, you don't because we actually all experience pain so differently.

I think I'm somebody who has a very sensitive body. And so I don't have a very high pain tolerance. So even things like icy or hot or anything, either in balance, I'm not good. That's so interesting because I do think that way about women who have like had children. I'm like, you grew life in your stomach and you gave birth and you raised. How do you not have a high pain tolerance? Or is that just like experience for you just next level that you black out and don't remember? I like screamed and I cried and I was like, you don't ever do this again.

This is what I said 11 years ago. All right. So quick break. I'm trying to become more of a saver. More of a Jason Tardick, if you will, when it comes to finance instead of the splurger I could be once at a while. But let me tell you, it isn't always easy. If you want to get a handle on your money but feel overwhelmed, don't stress, just download Albert like I did. It's the personal finance app that helps you find a happy balance and make the most of what you have. Albert is pretty much

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throughout the week to find any money that you can safely save without disrupting your cash flow. We've all been there. Don't sweat it. Albert will send a cash advance up to $100 straight to your bank account to tide you over. No credit check, zero interest, no lay fees. Install Albert from the App Store or Google Play today and find your happy balance. And get a bonus of up to $40 when you start an annual subscription to Albert Genius. We'll be back with more Off the Vine with Caitlin Bristow. Off the Vine with Caitlin Bristow. I have a question. Okay, obviously you're pregnant. We're all excited for you and can't even wait to see. Oh, my gosh. Can't handle it. But knowing what that childbirth is like and like going into the hospital when you're like, okay, I'm about to give birth, knowing what that's about to feel like, does that just give you ridiculous amounts of anxiety or like stress? Or are you just like, I'll get it over with it. Yeah. Well, it's so funny because I have this app, like, everything's different now. So last time I had a baby was over 10 years ago. And now there's these apps and they tell you like

what the baby weighs every week. And like last week it was like 10 ounces. And I was like, oh my gosh, I have to push it 10 ounce steak out of my body. And I'm like, but add like 10 pounds to that. That's probably going to have to push out. But it's so funny because as women, I always remember this, we focus so I'm going to give weird enough. I'm just an analogy person. so we're going to have to bear with it. But like when you're having a baby, when you're thinking about having a baby, all anybody focuses on is how much it's going to hurt to push it out of your vagina. Yes.

The fact is it's the labor that sucks. So it's kind of similar to like when you have diarrhea cramps and you're like, oh my gosh, like this hurts so bad. The diarrhea is actually the relief of it. It may burn your butthole on the way out, but the fact is it's the relationship. you actually feel relief when you get to that point and it's no longer a cramp in your stomach. It's very, very similar with childbirth. So I'm way more afraid of the labor and how long or intense it might be. And like I haven't said this like super public yet because we don't

know if I can for sure, but we're planning a home birth. So I'm like, I'm like, I said to, I said to my husband, I'm like, listen, the only thing that will get me through is knowing that for sure this time I will never do this again that I can actually say to myself like you do this once you never have to do it again the reason being that like my first baby I had the epidural and I was like this is magical like I could do this forever this is so amazing like I felt zilch I did not feel a dang thing the next two I had failed epidurals meaning that I got them but they did not take so you're like you watch the movies and you're like I ask for an epidural and then I get the pain relief and then I have the baby. No, like it just didn't take with Bowden. We, they tried to admit it

seven times and the lower part of my one leg went numb, but nothing else did. So I just remember being like, oh my gosh, what is this? He was nine pounds, six ounces. So this was not nothing. And it was very, very fast and very, very intense. And I just remember feeling my body actually went into shock right afterwards. But I did it. I actually did do it. But I really have to look at it now and be like, okay, I've had two failed upadurals. The fact is this is something I'm going to face. I'm a bit of a baby. I don't think I'm going to take you to it well whatsoever.

But I think I will do better having the supports of my home as opposed to a high, more of a high stress environment like a hospital. I think it's honestly guesswork. You're trying to predict who you're, like you're trying to predict who you're going to be in the bath tomorrow, like the ice bath tomorrow. I have no idea. like it's been so long since I've had a baby and and I'm really like but at the same thing every single time I look at even visuals of somebody having a baby I'm like oh gosh this is horrifying

and then I don't know it's like it's like this weird reality where it's like but you've got to do it I'm already freaking out about having to push out a 10 10 out steak and it's going to be like a eight pound baby yeah but this women are just so freaking magical and that something just it's almost like a one of my um really good girlfriends her husband was explaining it he said and i think this is like a known thing that he was so turned on while she was giving birth because you go into like a beast mode as a mother where you just know you have to do what you have to do to get this baby out and your body is just like and you just like you just do it and it's like the most painful and like you

like it's crazy in your body i mean think about it you lose hair after you're just like you just after, it's like a traumatic event for your body to go through. But as women, you just get through it. And it's like the instinct or the, I don't know what happens, but you just go into this beast mode where you deliver a child. Did you see Becca's birth video? Did you watch that? No.

Becca Martinez from Bachelor? No. Okay. She posted a birth video? Yes. You need to go and go to like minute six of her birth video on her IG because she literally, because she just had her son at home and she's literally just like even as she's in labor she has a smile on her face like it's ridiculous i don't know how she like managed but she just is got this

smile on her face and all the stuff and she's literally in the tub and she's just like there and all of a sudden she's like and out comes the baby and it's like please let this be my experience yeah seriously please let my baby just boop into the water and she's just like oh there it is stop it i think that's why I am doing a home birth because I just want the backup birth. And I'm telling myself that's going to happen. Swipe up for an at home birth. My husband, when I was like talking to him about the fact that I wanted to do a home birth, a lot, mostly because of COVID and the fact of like restrictions with visitors

and I want my other kids to be able to be a part of it. And I said to him, like, I just really think that I want to give birth like in our living room. Like I think I want to do it there. I want to be surrounded by loved ones. I want to be in a space I know and love. And he just looked to me and he's like, Sarah, I don't even like the kids having a juice box in the living room, you think I want you having a baby in there?

Like, that is funny. That's men for you, though. That's so funny. And this is his first, right? It's his first, yeah. Is he just thrilled? I mean, he is, but it's so funny because I think we always expect these, like, magic responses.

Like, women are so, like, it's so magical. Like, look at what's happening. I remember when I found the heartbeat with the Doppler and I was like, like, look, it's like this magical heartbeat. and he's like, no, like, she's supposed to have a heartbeat. Like, he's like, I don't get why you're so, I don't get why you're so, you know, wound up in the magic of this. This is scientific.

This is what's supposed to happen. So it was funny, like even we were, the poor guy, he's got such a removed experience because with COVID, you can come to nothing. So he can come to his only experience with this pregnancy has been serving me food on a couch and listen to me complain about literally everything in life and crying a whole lot more. and being just a whiny bitch but horny as ever so oh amazing well it is amazing until i got put on pelvic rest so that's a whole other thing so no d for you no no no d no d's no even f's no even little oh no even little f's what about a little t like a toy no t's no nothing damn okay well i mean topicly yes yes

we could we need to draw a little picture but his no car in your little garage no car in the garage door shut. But his whole experience is so like outside of it. It's almost like witness to it. So I had an ultrasound last week and I finally got a technician that would let me FaceTime him. So I FaceTime him. And she's like showing the baby and it's like this fuzz on a screen. But as we were there, she was like, oh, just like literally two seconds into the call. She's like, oh, I'll confirm the sex of the baby for you. So she goes and she's like, okay, let's go between the legs. And then she was like, okay okay are you watching there's her labias and he's just like what i don't know what i'm supposed to say like this is such a weird experience like there's her labia it's like okay no no he's like all right

and i was like okay bye have a good day what's so make something nice for dinner like oh my oh my gosh like i feel kind of bad for him that everyone's like oh is this like just the most amazing thing And he's just like, it is such a different experience. That's so true. I never thought about that. It's freaking, he can't be there at these appointments. And all he's getting is that, yeah, that's the tail end of it all. And yeah, but I mean, I think realistically for men, I've heard this a lot.

For most of them, they don't even start to feel that like connection to the experience until the baby's actually responsive to them. Leave it up to men to be that selfish. So they're like, I'll talk to it when it talks to me. but that's truly like until they start to experience it themselves where for women we're kind of thrust into it where like we're thrust into it from the idea of it like the second there's an idea of a child we're planning and we're processing and we're nesting and we're hormonally bound to be like that but for men they're just it's like the waffle and spaghetti analogy they've got categorical

thinking they're not there I've really had to be like you know what there's every once in a while you meet that rare men that like balls his eyes out at like the site. of his first born child, that's, I would, that's not going to be my husband. And I have to let go of that romanticized version of him because he's going to be like, scientifically you, you gave birth to a child. Like that was what was supposed to happen. And I'll be like, you didn't even cry. That's what's going to happen. That's, I'd be the same way. I'd be like, yeah, show me how you're feeling. Cry, damn it. Explain it to me. Yeah, I want to hear. I'm a words of affirmation, girl. it's my love language suckers oh that's so funny oh my gosh I could talk pregnancy forever

like I am going to all of my friends have had babies all of my closest friends well not Bailey but like a lot of my closest friends have had babies and I'm like man I'm so set up for when I have kids of people to go to and ask for advice and like all these things I have so much help for that quick question do you ever ruin that brand new white shirt you just fell in love with maybe had a little spill or two and just couldn't bring it back to life. So sad. I've had this happen to me a few times. So just a couple of weeks ago, actually, I was wearing the cutest new white shirt and

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supplies last. Let's talk about our collaboration we have coming up because I am just freaking thrilled and so I was so stoked when you agreed to do this 90s due edit. are you kidding me when we started naming them i was like here's my dad i know and you're perfect for it because you are just as big of a brittany gal as myself she's like in the background oh there she is her little cardboard cutout in my background that's amazing it's so funny like it was so cool to see our different like styles that we picked or like i went for more like clueless 90s you were like brittany and i was like oh i love this combination um so let's i was like let's get into the 90s for a second because that's what our collection's all about.

It's personally my favorite decade, and I think you agree. It's up there. It's the greatest. The greatest. And I recently recorded with Lowe, and we talked about the 90s growing up in general, and I wanted to ask you some of the questions that we went over because it brought up some hilarious memories. So tell me, and I don't think people, like, really know this about you either.

It's like, what kind of kid were you in middle school and high school? Like, what would your senior superlative? have been. Wait, what's that word mean first? You know what? I don't even know. I was like, did you use a big word on me? I was looking up stuff with 90s and like seeing and I was like, yeah, that sounds awesome. She'll know what I'm saying. We both don't know. Okay, let's reframe the question. What kind of kid were you in middle school and high school? Okay, so people don't realize this, but I was a bit of like a ton of. A ton. tomboy but not really a tomboy yeah I was very like I didn't fit into the girly girl category so I very much like

went to and I was very very uncomfortable with my body so I I kind of slipped into I'm just going to wear oversized stuff and kind of be like a little bit on the not like not like the grunge category but like I also love spice girls so I remember I had graphic t-shirts of spice girls I remember feeling embarrassed that I love Britney Spears so much which is why I'm so proud out a lot of loud and proud about it now. I like hid my albums like and I tried to be what I thought was like really cool but I started a small business making hemp necklaces in high school. I'm selling them to my friends. So I got dabbling. Dabbling in all these different categories because I had I couldn't the things I really loved. I felt like I couldn't do. And I remember Adidas jackets were like the coolest thing in the seventh grade. And my parents got me a puffy Adidas. his jacket with like the black with the three stripe white down the side and I wore it to school and I got it for Christmas and the most popular girl who is also a very strong bully got the same

jacket and she came up to me I was a nobody she came up to me and she was like if you ever wear that at school again I will beat the crap out of use why I was like okay and so I would shove it in my backpack like every day and be like cold and I couldn't tell my parents because it was like a $200 dollar jacket but yeah i just i just remember being anything that i could be but my sister was very much into like rock music and she was a little bit naturally edgier and i was like i just love spice girls and brittany spears but i didn't i couldn't match it with my wardrobe so i just kind of like did what i could that's freaking adorable and that also makes me like don't you picture now like if that was my child and i knew that was going on at school i don't think i'd be able to

to play it cool. Like, I don't think I'd be chill. I think I'm going to be a psychopath that like finds that person and like, I don't, I don't know what I would do. I know. It's, it's so weird now when you deal with like bullying with school. We haven't dealt with too, too much of it, but definitely drama. And I just get like, the problem is with kids is they'll have such massive drama and then suddenly they're over it, but I'm not. I'm like, I'm sorry. You want to play with who? Is this the same person that said this to you six months ago that we worked through all night and we cried about and we had to like console you over for hours like you want to go over to her house and have a sleepover like this is what you're asking me right now like absolutely not yeah i remember my daughter

like who had all this school drama going on gave me her birthday list like who's going to come to her birthday party and i was like no no no no like are you kidding we know like what's happening here but that's how kids are they just like things happen and then yeah that's so i mean which is great which that's what you can you know find comfort in but okay um what were some of your favorite 90s foods because we had like pop tarts for breakfast, eggo waffles for breakfast, the fruit by the foots, the fruit roll-ups. Oh my gosh. And I try and think of Canadian ones.

Chupichups. What's that? Remember the lollipops? Chupichups. Oh, yeah, of course. Oh, yeah. Is that Canadian? I don't know if they are, but they had pictures in them for a while in the 90s.

Oh. So around 97, 98, I only know because I bought an entire case of the Spice Girls one, but when you licked them, they actually. actually had pictures of people in the middle of the chupichup when you licked them. So that was a big one in the 90s. Kinder Surprise. Oh, Kinder Surprise is still around. But that's not an American thing.

That's Canadian. That's not. You're right. That is very Canadian. Yeah. Toys in a cereal box doesn't exist anymore. But toys in a cereal box was huge in the 90s. You lift those color changing spoons.

Do you remember? And there was like Lion King ones. They were the best. I love all 90s. Like, do you ever just look up? 90s things like that you forgot about and like remember skipets yeah yes i love skip it yeah or um devil sticks yes and yeah and things like i almost felt like they were distant memory and it wasn't real i remember googling not too long ago that muppets yogurt was a real thing because i forgot it

existed and rc cola and rcola gum and orbits remember orbits i loved orbits the little like it was like bubble tea but with they were just they were disgusting but we loved them loved them and jones soda was everything in the 90s like i had a jones soda machine in our school jones soda was everything the jones soda root beer and then you felt like so cool drinking it oh my gosh did you know that i actually wrote a rap 10 years ago about growing up in the 90s are we are we also gonna are you gonna launch that with the collab because i feel like it's time i kind of think i should i remember it Thank you. Want to hear it?

Yes, I do. I actually showed this in my, it was in L.A. It was my first Bachelor, like, audition interview. And it was in front of a camera and one producer. And I wrapped it all for him. And then he's like, oh, I just want to introduce you to a couple people. And then he walked me into another room where there was like 20 executive producers who had all just watched me on their screen do that.

And I was like, okay, ready? I might screw it up because it has been a while But let me try Okay Hey in the 90s I was Making Mixed Tray No say Redo

Hey in the 90s I was making mixed tapes While trading my green grapes For snack packs and PBJs and my PJs By 8 which would still Just maybe too late for a kid in grade K1, 2 and 3 and 4 Walking out my front door with my Barbie lunchbox With some pop rocks ready for my day

with no fancy computers, just white chalks and chicken pox, cramped my seas along with the grass stains on my knees and scary bumblebees. Yeah, but those were the days. Oh, yeah, I reminisce. Red Rover, I called him over my first kiss. And recess, I really do miss. Diss and Dix playing devil six. And hacky sacks.

Filled up my Ninja Turtle backpack, Michael Angelo, and Umbro. Terro ways. Elementary days. Get out my way, kids. I seriously haven't saying that in, like, since I was probably 29. Red Rover, tearaway pants? My gosh. Yeah, Pop Rocks, Ninja Turtle. I just had a conversation about Pop Rocks today. Not even kidding, because somebody asked me if I'd ever, this isn't a great transition, but if I ever did oral sex with Pop Rocks. Oh my gosh, I remember people talking about that. Talking about it and I was like, no, but I'd always, I'd always love to. And we were saying like, oh, I think you'd actually be pretty scratchy on a stick. And then she was like, well, I'll tell you, it's just a sticky mess on your stuff. self and I was like oh I can't I feel like that was such a thing but then I'm like wait how I feel like in the 90s I wasn't doing oral sex no absolutely but pop rocks still exist they're still around are they

really we can oh yeah you can you can still go down on the d with the pop rock yeah I just maybe that's what I'll do in quarantine in my pregnancy we'll do a review you go back to the 90s and just like get down with the pop rocks makeup for lost time you know what you're talking about though the fun how the fun dip didn't end up being more of like a thing fun dips are still around but fun dips were everything but like why did that not become a that why was that not a sex act if you if you made anything with a fun dip I'd be like I'm in actually that's so true but this fund dip sticks were disgusting they're like eating chalk I just realized that if it made it into a sex name it'd just be like dicks into fun. Stop pulling me Pino that's so funny. Maybe we're coming up with something

here. Maybe. Okay. What did you want to be as an adult when you were in the 90s? I wanted to be a secretary. That's so cute. No, I did. And I don't know if I was scared to have, I'm one of those people that I'm actually crippled by goals. Because if you give me a goal, then I feel like I'm failing on the way to get there. So I, the only goals I ever set out for myself was that I wanted to be a cashier and a secretary. And I did both of them by the time I was 19 and I was like, look, the world is mine now. met all of my goals. So I think I just did that on purpose, but I actually really loved being a cashier. Nails, getting like nice nails. Yes. And they had the nails and the bracelets and at the glass counter at the department stores. I was obsessed with them. And the women at

that worked at fabric stores, I used to play like as a kid. I used to get a tin. Because at the fabric stores, they write something on like a tin and then it rips it off. So we used to tape paper onto a top of a tin and we'd write and be like, I work at the fabric store. So, I loved that. I love being the idea of being a secretary, a receptionist. And that was just like, I wanted to be that person at the front, like in all of the movies. And yeah, met all those goals. It wasn't as glamorous. Like it kind of, you kind of get over pressing the buttons and being the person at the front door. Yeah. But it still was like that's as far as I went in terms of like what I wished and dreamed for me. Yeah, mine was always just dance. But that's funny because I actually

look at you living it. I know. I have emotional moments like in the dance studio being like, I have arrived. I bet. I have arrived. I can't believe. I can't believe the cast. Like, I just cannot believe the cast. I can't either. I was like, like, how are you handling being around Anne Hitch? Oh my gosh. She is honestly so outgoing and sweet. It was no way. Yeah. It's honestly, it feels a little funny that you're on a season that is a little 90s. Did you realize that besides like Carol Baskin? Besides Carol, she's very 2020. But you know what? She also is a little 90s. like style-wise, I feel like she's still there a little bit. So we have a little bit of Carol Baskin in it, but very 90s. You're in a very 90s season. It was, it was meant for our collab.

You know what? It was. It's the timing. The timing of everything. Everything is coming, like, yeah, aligning and we're doing the right thing. Doing the right thing. All right, let's take a minute. Things may have changed around us, but our inner drive to be there for the people we care about runs deeper than ever. I've tried to support my friends and family in any way possible. during this time from sending messages of support, being there when they need it most, and helping out where I can. And we come together as a community. We empower ourselves to make meaningful change. I've seen so many posts on Off the Vine Facebook group and DMs to my Instagram about, you know, Vino's helping each other out during this time, supporting local and

small businesses, and donating when they can. And I absolutely love to see that. Our normal has definitely shifted, but we're still trying to find the best ways to connect and continue to support one another. What we need now more than ever is an easy way to support each other from afar. The best way to do that is through the PayPal app where sending and receiving money is faster and easier. You can stay connected to the people you love by using the app safely and securely to send money to friends and family just about anywhere in the world. Or start a money pool to split the bill, go in on a gift or fundraise for a good cause. And you can support the places and causes you care about most. You can make touch-free,

QR code payments at your favorite local restaurant or farmer's market. Plus, you can donate to a local nonprofit or support a cause from across the country. PayPal is making it easy to pay safely, quickly and easily. Download the PayPal app today. Terms and conditions apply. Okay. Last one. You're on your way to school.

Okay. What is your hairstyle and does it involve butterfly clips? Okay. Yes, butterfly clips for sure, but also those bra strap. hairbands. Do you remember those? I forgot until you just said that right now. Oh my gosh. I loved those. And the ones with the combs. I would do like three bra strap ones in a row. Yep. How come those never came back? Everything else came back. Maybe we should do a do collab and make those. Honestly, because they're actually such a good idea because so many headbands are not suited for big heads

like mine. And I always get a headache in them. So having an adjustable strap, like an adjustable bra would be very custom fit for me and I think that it would be just amazing that's i mean brittany has done it right all along she just didn't leave the 90s and i am so here for it yeah yeah she never left yeah she never left and that was you know what that's the way to do it okay yeah i used to like i remember my ballet teacher had to like um like sit down with our whole class and be like we're just going to go back to the classic bun you guys can't have 32 butterfly clips in your hair like because you know ballet it was all strict you always had to section them it was like one two yeah three I did six I think usually oh you did the like little rolls roll into the

butterfly clip like a little pull back and clip a little pull back and clip I would do the comb the comb headband that kind of press back and then you put your hair up and then the yeah then there was the bra strap head it was a lot of updews I never really wore my hair down and then um yeah every once in a while it would be something that was like I don't know just like bobby pins or something all around or like something but the zigzag the zigzag part was everything oh let me show you my um because everyone and my family's been going through old photo albums because dancing with the stars once like you know older photos and older dance photos and so i've been mom and i have just been having a field day going through all these photos and we found

so many with my crooked part i'm trying to find this one where i was like i lit oh i'm Oh, look, stop it. I'm leaning against a tree. The thick, chunky highlights and the zigzag. Look at me. They actually made combs that were in the shape of a zigzag. For those of us that didn't know how to do it, you just actually took the comb and you were like, zigzag.

I think zigzag part's going to come back in. We should just do it and see what happens. I did that for a while. I swore butterfly clips were going to come back. So I was at a conference, I was like speaking at this conference. And I was like, I'm just going to buy so many butterfly clips. And whenever I, like, meet somebody and, like, meet and greets and stuff, I'm just going to give them butterfly clips and be like, by the way, they're so back in.

Yeah. And within like two weeks, they were butterfly clips everywhere. And I was like, see, like any, you just put your mind to it. It's going to come back. Like, it really does. Like, bell bottoms came, had a hot moment this year. The only thing I don't want to come back are like the, like, below the butt. Low rise were torture for me.

So why did we do low rise with the thongs above them? my God, because Britney Spears did. Yeah, I don't want to blame her for it, but my, I think it was more Christina. Yeah, you know what? It was, look at, it might have been Christina. And for my next trick, look at this, these bell bottom low rise. Oh, oh my gosh, I do not miss those days. Do you remember how uncomfortable that? My sister, my sister is actually the one type of body type that really rocks a low rise. She legitimately still, like she had six children and never got a single bit of maternity clothes because it all sat underneath her belly. And I was like, here I was like a minute pregnant. And I was like, oh gosh, all the high rise are betraying me. Like it was so quick. And I was like, dang it. And then

you go to maternity pants and they're all like this under the belly thing. But that was, I don't know, I did not like that era. I just remember being so uncomfortable. And that's why I wore all these like really baggy tops because all the pants were so low that I just was so uncomfortable. They were uncomfortable. It was so uncomfortable. But I did. love the bell bottom i did and like remember how we used to wear them so much where like the bottoms of your jeans were just dragging and threaded and gross and we were just like this is who we are this is our style we're dragging our silver jeans still it was always silver jeans yeah silver jeans just i don't know what was up with us just i mean have having go through gone through all these

old photos i've been so nostalgic and yes like now this podcast i'm like oh i just want to go back to simpler times of the 90s, like, so badly. 90s. Yeah. The freaking best. Okay, okay, I have one more question because I have to ask, what was your favorite 90s show? I mean, friends. Yeah, of course.

Okay, that's what I thought, which leads me to my next game. I knew you're going to say that. Friends and Full House was mine. Yes, I loved Full House. It's a little weird now because I don't think I loved it as much as I thought I did because my kids have been watching Fuller House. And I was like, oh, I remember this, but it's not a, I. remember like the actual friends episodes and being like it was Thursday nights at eight o'clock.

Yep. And that was like what you did on a Thursday night at eight o'clock. And then you talked about it the next day at school. So friends, friends sits with me a little bit. But there's also all the ones like that we watched on a Saturday morning. And I don't remember what all of them are. But there was ones like breaker high. I don't know what years those were. But like Ryan Gosling and all of those like Saturday morning shows, that was 90s to me too. Yeah. Oh my gosh. Breaker high. Ryan Gosling, that wasn't even his start, but like that's how I remember him. Yeah. Oh, 100%. Yeah. Oh, my gosh. So cute. We'll be back with more off the vine with Caitlin Bristol. Hi, guys. I'm Max DeRoe. And I'm so excited to be hosting a new podcast called I'll

give it to each trade. Is some things you can look forward to hearing on the show are conversations is about coming out as by, the LGBTQ plus community, and growing up in the age of technology. You'll also get to know my whole life story and all the drama, don't worry, including growing up on the real housewives and having to deal with severe social anxiety on the daily. Make sure you subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podcasts, or anywhere else you listen to your podcasts. Now back to Off the Vine with Caitlin Bristow. Okay, this is the last thing in the pod. We're playing which friend's character are you?

I have a pen and paper because it includes points. It's a point system. If I end up being Ross Geller, I will throw this computer. This is where we disagree. He's my favorite. I know it's okay that he's your favorite, but we also have to recognize that he can be a little toxic. He's very toxic, and it took me a long time to realize that.

Um, but my favorite scenes are still him. Like, that's a hard thing to kind of mix, right? Yeah, yeah, it's hard to understand when he, I agree, he's very toxic and controlling and like passive and, but also like so hilariously annoying. But I think that's one one thing that I really had to come to terms with this week is like most people who are typically, that we're in toxic relationships with, they're not walking around like assholes or horrible human beings that intend to be that way. They're actually incredibly charming. They're romantic. They're this. They're that. Their behavior is actually

something that's so outside of their even realm of understanding. It's just so inherently in what they do in some of their behaviors. But I don't think that Ross meant to be a bad person. I don't think he meant to be toxic. I think he just created such a world for himself in such a fantasy model of life and that he got so accustomed because of his upbringing, if you want to go real back, because of the fact that he was the most. You're laughing, but I'm serious. But you go back to who he was as a kid. He was the Marvel child. They gave him everything. He was used to having everything his way. So he grew up. And then the friend group also did this for him. So it's not necessarily his fault. It's just never, he was never confronted with his own. I am dead because that is so bang on. And then you're

like, did they think that whole thing through? Because that's very accurate. Now, let me tell you something. I have a, I have a bit of a source who is friends with somebody who was a writer on friends. Stop. Not even kidding. So this person, apparently, one of the writers, was actually going through or in a toxic relationship and recognized afterwards that a lot of the behaviors that they wrote into the show was almost a justification of their own trying to kind of make sense of the behaviors in their own relationship.

So it actually was seated from another. relationship. And it could be multiple writers that felt that as well. But I think that that's so common. Like I think when you're in, if you had a jealous boyfriend, sometimes that feels really good. You're like, oh my gosh. Like they're actually so obsessed with me. Like they love me so much that they like care where I am all the time. Yeah. We don't see that as toxic. It's actually incredibly flattering. So imagine writing that into your own, a romantic storyline that we would watch and be like, clearly this is actually really great behavior. now we've 20 years later dissected the crap out of it like I have like I've gone down the deepest of

holes I mean I'm dying laughing and I was laughing the whole time you're doing that because I'm like you're so right a you're so right but be the passion and the fire coming out of you while talking about it I'm like I just love you so I love friends so much and I will defend it to my death like it is one of the greatest shows of all time even my son pointed out almost every show mimics it If you watch how I met your mother, he's like, this happened on friends, this happened on friends, this happened on friends. Like, there is so much mirroring in the rest of dialogues that we see on other shows that I believe was birthed from friends. And there's such an cool ability that every single episode, all six characters had to be in the show, all six of them. So do you remember scenes like I watched something where the producers were talking about the fact of the scene where Chandler and Rachel eat the cheesecake in the hallway?

One of my favorite scenes of the entire show, the cheesecake falls on the ground, they're eating it. in the hallway. That actually was written in because they didn't have a role in the rest of the episode. So they had to create this sub-story because Chandler and Rachel, who normally never really interacted, needed a place in that episode. So suddenly they had the cheesecake in the hallway. And that was how that whole thing began because they needed a way to create all six characters at all times. So every once in a while you see this weird off story and you realize that the core episode had nothing to do with those two characters so that they created this like sub-story to be a part of it. It is genius writing. That show was so well done. There is nothing that will come close to it.

I totally agree. I am very passionate as well about friends. I know every episode. I almost broke up with Jason because he's not like a big friends fan. And I was like, I'm not sure if I can be with somebody like that. No, it's okay. Mine isn't either. And it's okay. I just keep it for me. It's my thing. That's true. It's like my me time. I'm yeah, absolutely. All right. The holiday season, And believe it or not, is right around the corner. Pretty weird, but it's true. And this year, we know that the people will be buying more stuff online than ever before. So if you're an e-commerce seller and you're ready to meet the demands of a record-breaking online shopping season, well, it can be ready with ShipStation.

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And he also, casual. And while we were like on hold, AJ and I were chatting about friends. and he pointed out something that I never knew. I'm curious to know if you know this. The trifle scene. Do you know? Do you know what I'm talking about? I know the trifle scene.

Beef sauteed with peas and onions. Yeah. Yeah. But apparently there's like an actual blooper. Like he's like no one can believe that like people on the set didn't catch this. But you can see like camera crew tape and like stuff on the set for like 20 seconds of the scene apparently. What?

Yeah. So I haven't gone back and looked yet, but I'm going to do that. I have to go and watch it. Yeah. So I love watching for inconsistencies and shows. Do you ever see that where somebody has their hair one way and then all of a sudden it's flipped to the other? And I'm like, there it is. That's the moment. I love watching for those things. It happens a lot in friends, actually, which is just goes to show how much they must have put into each individual scene in order to execute some of these like, I don't know, these hilarious moments. And how many times, like, when you watch the blooper reels of them, I'm like, I don't know how they pulled this off. But I actually heard i think joey actually did eat that food like apparently he ate it like i don't remember

if i'm like misquoting or anything but i remember there's a lot to the trifle scene like it is pretty layered i mean it's layered good one did you mean to do that no that was just a mo i'm not that witty i'll think about that joke like 20 minutes later and been like dang i should have said that i'm like sad i didn't think of it i was like that was really good my own horn um okay so this okay go watch that then this is the game but don't worry you won't get ross because it's which female friends character are you okay so a is going to be worth two points b4 and c6 so here's your first question it's the holiday season you're spending it with your friends what is most likely your role at the party slash dinner now don't go off what you want your friend's character to be

do who you actually are okay okay i will i'll be honest okay a hosting cooking and organizing the gift exchange, you're basically the one to plan everything because no one else would get it right. B, you offer to make dessert, but after burning two batches of cupcakes, you are saved by your visa and the cutest little bakery around the corner. Or C, showing up with a re-gifted gift to the host and then oversharing holiday memories from years past. I mean, once you say oversharing, I feel like that's me. It doesn't matter all. I'm like, yes, I definitely host and yes, I definitely burn a lot of things. But oversharing, that's me. Definitely. Okay, we'll go with that one.

Okay, number two, you're at Central Perk and there is a 90s haughty, Josh Hartnett, let's say, across the room who's making eyes with you. You, A, don't even go over to talk to him because you noticed he has a small stain on his shirt and that's just not okay. Does he even know how to wash his clothes? B, make eye contact, find an excuse to walk by him, and most definitely leave with a date for Saturday night, or C, completely, obviously, he must be looking, at the menu behind you or maybe he likes your scrunchy. Oh my gosh. The actual me is kind of a mix. Okay. I'm going to go with the second one. I think I would at least give it a shot. But what I would most likely do if I'm giving a real answer is I would romanticize all of the things that I want to happen and probably none of them would and I wouldn't end up with a date because I would

just like make eyes and like expect the, you know, do you ever have like, do you ever have those like times where like a guy like opens like holds a door open for you and you're like, my God, this is the man. This was the one. And you're like, you never see that person again, but you like snap to a romantic storyline. That's what I do. So the second one aligns the most, even though likely real me would never actually get the date. I would just romanticize how I could have gotten the date. That is why we've been brainwashed by movies, like rom-coms. Yeah. I know. The serendipities. It's just too much. Okay, three, you've just gone through a devastating breakup. You, A, stay in your sweatpants for six days and on the seventh day, start creating a

new me plan, complete with a color-coded chart and timeline. B, immediately start scheming about how you're going to win the breakup, new outfit, new haircut, new date, and master plan to somehow make him see how good you look and how happy you are. Or C, shake it off, plan an Aurora cleansing ritual to get rid of his bad energy. You didn't keep the lock off his hair for no reason. 100% B, I don't let anybody see me down. Well, actually, I let a lot. I let every woman in my life see me down, but like, no, I will not let a man have that opportunity.

There you go. I like that. Okay, four, you and your bow are getting ready to the next step in your relationship and you're feeling like those three magic words are about to drop. What is your next move? A, you tell him the next chance you get

because you need to make sure every detail is perfect when it happens. There's no way he's going to think of the move. mood lighting and perfectly selected soundtrack. B, you would never say it first. So you wait until he says it first. Maybe wait a week or two to play hard to get. Or C, you break it off before he even has the chance to say it because it's better to keep it casual

and spare the eventual breakup. So wait, none of the answers ever I just say it first? Oh, the first one is. Yeah. Okay, then the first one. Because even though I don't care about the scenario, I'd probably just spill it because I can't hold anything back. I like that.

Okay. We have one more question. Okay, it's Friday night. You've had a long week at work. You just walked through the door. What does your night look like? A, taking advantage of the opportunity that you don't have plans and spend the night deep cleaning your freezer, maybe cleaning those makeup brushes while you're at it. B, you'd never not have plans on a Friday night. You freshen up quickly before going out looking hot a. F. Or C, you call up your friend who also doesn't have plans and invite them over to watch Netflix or 90s MTV. Um, third one for sure. Also, who deep cleans on a Friday night? Monica, Monica does. Monica does, but I, I wish I was that type of person. I do like anger clean. Like, if I get in an argument with my husband, I'll clean the house, but that's the only time. I feel that because then it makes you feel like something's in order. It makes me feel like I'm winning the fight because I'm like, well, look it. I do everything around this house. What do you, when's the last time you took out the garbage? You when the last time I took out the garbage was, five minutes ago. I'm such a bitch like that.

Like I will literally go like psycho. I will do nothing for a month. And then suddenly I care so much. And I'm like, Anna, I did all your laundry. Like I did all of it. Like you have done nothing for me. I just use it as to my advantage. They just we don't fight very often because I'm so shallow.

That's my. Everybody's got something that they do like that in relationships. Okay. Are you ready to find out which friend's character you are? Yeah. because I feel like I give a bit of a mixed bag of answers. You did, which is great because it's not going to be obvious to listeners, but you are, in fact, a Rachel. Are you happy about this?

I am. I do align with Rachel the most because her storyline from being this waitress on the rise who kind of goes through life and and re-rebirths herself a little bit and goes after her dreams. she never went to school so she kind of climbed the ranks on like her own passion. That's what I align with with her. Monica, I've never super related to, but I always find her such a pivotal character. And Phoebe is always like who I wish I was. I wish I cared less. I wish I was more confident. I wish I had some of these like things. But Rachel, I know everyone kind of likes the aesthetic of Rachel, but I mean who she actually was in the core is somebody who was willing to walk away. from money and relationships in order to pursue something that she had no idea.

You had to remember, too, she would waitress for five years. Five years she waitressed and, like, allowed herself to, like, have nothing. You're right. And then climb the ranks all the way into getting her dream job from Paris, which, in my opinion, is where the show ended. You're so right. And she even, like, tried to teach her sisters a lesson about, like, what's important in life. Yes.

Yeah, that's so true. Mm, I like that theory. Phoebe was much more like she liked having morals and ethics, but she also was wildly confident in the way that she carried herself through life. And Monica was like the caretaker. She was the mother hen of the group without her. Like sometimes when I go traveling, especially with Bailey, like I call her my Monica, even though we're much more Joey and Chandler because she, I literally get to show. When I show up, like every time we've done Nashville, I just show up to Nashville and I have an itinerary of where I need to be. I don't think about a thing. It is such a vital part of like a friend group because if you all are like that, it doesn't work. But if one person cares enough to like put that intentionality around like your time together and schedule stuff, you're like, wow, you don't realize how much stress is relieved off of you. Even though it looks like Monica's like such a stressful person, every holiday happens because of her. Every party happens because of her. The whole organization of their life and the job interviews they go for

happened because of Monica. So she is like her own amazing human that is such a pivotal thing. So I think a lot of people are like, I don't want to be a Monica, but own your Monica. You're such a huge part of that. We all need a Monica. I need like 10 monicas. I am just like obsessed with your thought process and like how analytical you are about each character and their life story.

And like I'm like, I love it so much. but your definition of Rachel was so bang on and why you align with her way better than what mine was. I said, fun, flirty, and put together, you're always up for a good time as long as it involves doing something fun and does not require a lot of effort. You have impeccably high taste, but work hard for your lifestyle and your career. You created this life for yourself. Yeah, that is you.

For sure. You are a Rachel, too. It has to be you too. I feel like I am such a combo of Rachel and Feather. be. Yeah. Yeah, 100%. You've got the loyalty factor for sure. Yes. I am a loyal little lab. I had this whole conversation about you behind your back from this girl who I met last week who was a producer on your season. And she was like, she's one of the only people that's like exactly who you want her to be. And I'm like, this is what I love about like, no, but you are because I think everyone,

when we're talking before about like people on a platform and how we dehumanize them, it's so easy to also like put them so far and away. And I think that the one thing that really brings me back is like you're so I think everyone expects you to be like not normal or like somebody who's like got their head in the clouds. And I've just never seen that with you. It's just it's just so wild to me that like even the conversations that people have behind your back is like she's the real deal. Like she's actually what you think she is in real life. I love that that's the thing about you. Like I love that that's what carries. That is that makes me so proud and happy and that means so much as like the ultimate compliment because I just remember when I was on the show as long ago as that was,

everyone would ask my family and friends, Kay, but is that really how she's like or is she like, you know, but is she really like that? And everyone's like, I've never seen her like be more toot herself in my life. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Honestly, when we watch the, we watch back on like the greatest of all time. I realized how much I missed seeing, and I don't know if it's the editing process now, but like I never saw somebody who was in the position of being Bachelorette call out the guys on their behavior like you did and also laugh at themselves like you did. And dude, I was like, man, it's been like, and I think each Bachelorette has had her own thing that she's championed. But I really loved that I got to, when we rewatched it, I was like,

man, that takes guts to be the only woman in a room full of men and still call them out on their shit. Like that just took me. I was like, holy crap. It was really, really, really cool to watch back on that. And I was like, but my favorite ever was what you recently re-shared when you did that haircut on, was it Chris? Oh my gosh. Your face and that? I'm like, that is like still you. You're just like, oh. I'm so animated. That was Josh. And I remember actually wanting to give him such a good haircut. And my girlfriend, Kat, she still always says to me every day we mark a polo and she'll be like, oh, my hair. And she goes, well, you're a barber, you know. And she'll like, you're a barber.

You like buzz the side of his head off. I mean, I had to sit there with that haircut in front of all the guys. It's so funny because. Only the most important time of your life. It's fine. He's good. I was watching it too, you know, and I didn't think I was going to watch it. And watching it back, I felt so proud of myself.

And I was like, oh, I, you know what? Like, it was fun. to watch myself back and see that I was, you know, standing up for myself and being strong and, like, telling it. And it's funny because you always, like, I think even for myself, like, I've been talking about how we've been going through these old photos and my mom is sending me all these, like, book reports I did and, like, certain posters I made and vision boards and letters I wrote to Jesus and letters I wrote to my teachers. And I was such a deep human being who wanted to just write down all these poems and thoughts and I was just like had so much to say

and I forgot I was like that until looking back at all these things and same thing with the Bachelorette. I was like, oh my gosh, what was I like that many years ago? I'm like, I don't even remember because I haven't watched it since and then watch it. I'm like, good for you, Caitlin. Yeah, but that's truly who you are now. If you think about it, all that like poetic things and the things of needing to talk about it, that's just what you've poured into your podcast now. Like, it's just it has a new medium but like man our journals back like i wish kids journaled kids don't journal anymore like journaling is a lost art when you like wrote letters to yourself i would literally even lie to myself in the journal because i like wanted to read back on a cooler life

and like as if i wouldn't remember yeah but like journals were everything and then when you had to like burn them because eventually they had too much information that's what that's what i'm like jason i were just talking about that how we need to like he's like I'm going to start doing voice notes to myself all the time as like where you're at in life and like what's going on because otherwise we have you know instagram to look back on as a photo album but we wrote so much before all of this phone stuff so there's more to explore at the home depot from furniture and home decor to bedding and more home depot.com has endless options for every space with the home depot decorating your home is now easier than ever before start by heading to home depot.com where you could shop everything for every room. Browse thousands of furniture pieces and decorative accents to fit any style, explore bedding and bath linens, kitchenware, small appliances, all at the right prices. That's what we like to hear. Whether you're going for a brand new look, a little seasonal refresh, if you will, or simply a few finishing touches, the Home Depot has all of the pieces

you need. And the best part is if you shop today, you'll get free and flexible delivery with easy returns. Plus, for a limited time, you can save even more on the styles you love when you use code off the vine 10 at checkout. Find exactly what you're looking for and more at homedepo.com slash decor. Valid on select items only, free delivery on select items, $45 or more. Visit homedepo.com for more information. I wanted to read you one thing before I go, and it's my thoughts on, well, which one should I do. I'll do this one. My thoughts on peace. Okay. Okay, peace. So this is what I said. I remember one time I went to church and I was praying and it felt so calm. I was just sitting upon the balcony while everyone was at pancake breakfast. I was up there all alone and I felt as if I was in heaven laying on a cloud or on a beach talking to God. I could hear the ocean as it came in as a tide. Right then I realized that it was peace. It was peace that I felt, so I felt quiet and so serene. I felt like I wanted to fly.

Peace is a solution to all of my problems. It is very helpful to me. When I think of peace, I think of my home. And people say home sweet, home, and home was where your heart is. But others say peace is quiet, and that's what I believe. I feel like the moment you said, upon a balcony. upon the balcony while everyone's at pancake breakfast and then the rest of it it was the rest of it felt like you had a thesaurus out and it was like what's another word for peace serene I bet I did I bet I did

I always had a thesaurus for my homework and for writing that was so sweet but like like literally what was happening is you were in church and there was a pancake breakfast we're like upon the balcony I was for sure at the pancake breakfast but wanted to like get a 10 out of 10 on my on my my gosh that was incredible if you ever come out with a book you're like the letters i wrote to myself yeah seriously i should just do like i think we all wanted to be so serious it never yeah i was i always wanted to be this like deep like i wanted i loved writing and now i'm like man now you put like even just writing out your points for the what friend's character are you i was like man that was

a lot of effort. You know, what's funny is all these, like, effort. And, you know, I'm somebody who's, like, known for these really, my journals now are basically my Instagram captions. But it's funny when I think of you, my absolute favorite Instagram caption of yours of all time, tut de la fruit. Toot de la fruit. It's like years ago.

And I think about it all the time. Every once in a while, I'm like, ha, two to the fruit. I know it's a friend's line, but I mean, the fact that you made that an Instagram caption, And it's the one, like, out of all the work you've done in all the years, that's the one that sat with me. No, I love these, like, big, lengthy captions. Tuttle the fruit. It was, you know, it was to the point. And it was funny and it was friends.

So I knew I would get, I knew I would get you as a like for it. It landed with you. But that's, see, and that's something I love about your Instagram is I am not going to lie to you. If I see lengthy captions, I usually scroll with yours. But I do. But with yours, I'm like, you are such a beautiful writer and everything you say hits home for me so much. And it's like just so beautifully written and you always have this way of writing where even just how you space out your paragraphs and sentences and like, like it just like when you read it, you're like you feel it. Like you feel your captions.

And I always love that. I mean, I love every platform you have. And I want everybody. I mean, I think everybody that listens to me knows who you are, but for people, if they don't... You kind of birthed me a little bit. I'm not going to take credit for any of it. Well, we're going to take some credit for it. But yeah, it's funny because when we talk about journals, my notes and my phone is truly

where I write things. And the only thing I recognize is that we are actually naturally such creative thinkers. Like, I don't believe that anybody in the world is not a creative thinker. I think that everyone has that ability and power. But so many of us are really good. at hearing our thoughts and like kind of letting them go. And all I started doing in the process of therapy and stuff is I started writing them down or even like Jason was saying like taking voice notes in the moment they were happening. And what happens when you do it in the actual

moment is it becomes like this raw feeling. And then when I would write, so I'd write it down to just be like one giant paragraph. And then as I would read it back, I would read it back in the way like how the words dance. Like where's the pause? Where's the thing? Like what is what I want it to read in the way of how it felt in that moment. And that's how I just create those spaces. But oftentimes, like, I will write something so tiny. Like, literally, I was just in a, I was just in a class tonight. And, and the one thing she was talking about was like the junk drawer. Like this, what is the, what is in your junk drawer in your life? Because we have so much going on. There's the stuff that we don't want to deal with. What does that look like? And this is the second time in the

last month that somebody's brought up junk drawers. I'm telling you right now, it's going to be in a future caption because I know that this is going to dance in my head. Where are the junk drawers in my life? What am I hiding? What am I stuffing away? What am I trying to avoid the things I don't want to deal with? And I don't want them to be seen. What exists in that junk drawer? And so it's so funny because we have these thoughts. But if you don't take a second to write them down, there's no damn way that I would remember any of that. And even an hour from now, you just wouldn't. Like the way that the way that you felt yesterday or the day before when you were having a breakdown and that hour later, what would happen if you captured in that exact moment what you felt on the down

spiral? And what would happen if you captured it on the way back up? You actually just, it's just raw human emotion that all of us experience, that all of us encapsulate. But when we're trying to write, it's like, it's like trying to regurgitate an experience as opposed to if you just wrote it down in the moment that it happened. So journaling, I think, is a long lost art. think if we bring it back, human connection happens even more when we choose to share it because it's just coming from such a raw place. And it's just one of my favorite things to do. Because in every experience, I think all of us feel so alone in. You just do, you can't imagine other people could possibly feel the way you feel. And then when you share it, you're like,

wow, there's a whole, like, look about the Glenn and Doyle movement right now with untamed. The fact is like her story is actually hitting masses. of people in all over the world with the exact same type of things of just untaming ourselves from the oppressions that we've just like have had placed on us our whole lives. And I've just I think it's so magical and we actually take time to listen to ourselves and like reevaluate our thoughts and just go from there and explore them. I just think it's so cool. You're right. Her book has actually brought up so much for myself and yeah. You think, you know, you think you've, I'm personally think I have like got to a place where I know myself and I know what makes me happy or

what makes me tick and blah blah and then I read the book and I'm just discovering a whole other side of myself and like like you said the junk drawer and that book is just like and they the girls who I had on my podcast um I think it was okay sis that yeah they um they said this book will change your life and I was like it already has and I'm not even finished and I'm just learning even more about who I am as a person and I think that's you're right it's the the art of just writing down your feelings and yeah where you're at in life I need to I actually should do like dramatic readings of my journal from The Bachelor and The Bachelorette because I'm so glad I did that because I'm so glad you did too you should do that and I need to do that Jason's mom actually bought me a journal

to to go through this journey with and I'm going to I'm going to start doing that because it means so much to your older self to see where you were at and either how far you come or how you surprise yourself like I said looking back on you know these things I used to do as a kid you surprise yourself with who you are as a person and it makes you feel pride yeah and I think when we actually write down our thoughts behind things as well even for myself going back in social media can often be a bit of a spiral because I don't even know what was real or what wasn't because I presented in such a perfectionist way that oftentimes I have to go back and actually remember exact moments around and thought around those days as opposed to just what it looked like

in a picture. Because as you know, when you live your life in any type of public form, it's so easy to present one way and feel another. So I think journaling can actually be such an important part of remembering the roots of what we actually felt so that we don't actually deceive ourselves with just the imagery of the highlight reels later on or that those magical moments aren't really all that missed because we expect to remember everything. And I I think we live so fast-paced now. We're, you know, even Instagram is called Insta-Stuff for a reason. It's all about instantaneous stuff.

And we expect to kind of have this depth to it. But the fact is, if you don't write down your feelings, it's going to be very superficial at the end. So I think it's going to be, I think it would be good to kind of combine those two, to have the imagery and then have the reality of your feelings and kind of the arc of who we are journeying through the combination of both. Absolutely. And just thank the.

universe for people like you in our lives and on our feeds because it just it really like I know people I had an interview today with a guy who he's like you're very refreshing to talk to and I was like I think about people on social media who are refreshing to follow because they're being real and and they're making you know like like raw beauty and like your Instagram it's celebrating so many things and ups and downs and it's everything we all feel at times in our life and I just I love following your account. I love having you as a friend. I love having you on my podcast and I'm just like you're just such a light in this world and there needs to be more birds papayas out there. Well, I'm very excited to be honestly. I'm glad they don't have five tequila shots in me this

podcast when I listened back on our last one. I was like there was so much slurring. I The live shows or shit shows? Yeah. The live show was so fun though. But no, it's really nice to come back. I mean, the first time I ever podcasted with you was the first time I ever podcasted. It was first time we ever met. And it was the first time I was really opening up about my story and in a much realer way, kind of really identifying the different points of who I was. And I was about to get remarried like a couple weeks later. And I look back on that and just the changes that happened right after that. And then the live. show we kind of reconnected on a lot of these things but now it's like there's talking about peace on the balcony and the pancakes upon the balcony yep i feel like there's a little bit of like there's a shift in the world and you know the like the washing machine the agitation the all of it i'm really grateful at the end of the day that there are so many people that are i'm continuing to just align with and i think that that gets harder and harder as you get older to kind of find those people that you feel connected with and that you feel are actually a part of your story and a part of your arc.

And honestly, like, if it wasn't for people like you that didn't truly show up unapologetically, like I think it would be harder. Sometimes I think it's just so fun to watch somebody be them and let that be the inspiration in and of itself without having to be something else, without having to be something that, you know, contrived or a different version of ourselves. So I don't know, it's been such a journey even with the off the vine audience. It's been so fun to just kind of journey through. that with y'all but it was funny the other day when that memory came up that it's been two years

since i was on off the vine first time and so many people were like oh my gosh it's our two year anniversary then because that's literally what happened i had so the vinos just really stood behind me and they've been such a huge part of my own community too and just honestly i can't i couldn't be more grateful because they're probably the least judgmental and the best most supportive group ever It was one of the best things that could happen to me, especially at the time where I was trying to rid myself of a lot of that judgmental culture I was coming out of. It's just been just the, you have the best audience. You just really, really do.

And I hope they all vote for Dancing with the Stars. Oh, I know they will. I don't even doubt them. And that was another thing I thought of when I was going through like the, like these dumb nobody trolls that are trying to bring me down. It makes me appreciate people like the Vino's and all the listeners so much more because I'm like, those are my people. Those are the kind of people I want to like me.

I want to follow me because those are my people. Like I think of them like family, even like people I don't even know. I'll just go on off the vine page on Facebook and be like, you're checking in all my family. Like they're incredible. And I always say you just, you attract the kind of people that if you're being, you know,

true to yourself, if you're being authentic, you attract the right kind of people in your life. And I think I have done that with the, off the vine community and with with you and now they are attracted to people who are raw and real like yourself who just are again unapologetically who you are and that is what the world needs and it's it's just it's refreshing it's refreshing yeah like a like a tall glass of I was going to say water but I freaking hate water I hate water too stop you nobody talks about how

much water sucks water sucks it makes me gag because it's just disgusting. Yeah, it's gross. I've had to like, I've gotten to the point out because I can't drink when I'm pregnant where I'm like allowing myself to be a little bit of a bougie bitch and like order the San Pellegrino out because I'm like this is the only acceptable water to me. I hate water. I hate the taste of it. I think it tastes like crap and it has to be ice, ice, ice, ice cold or flavored or bubbly or I'm not having it. I'm, okay, so I've become a bit of a water snob where I'm like, I look it, I will only drink this kind of Voss water. Ooh. Yeah, I have, water has a taste. People need to talk about that water has a taste. Yeah. Voss is the only water I will drink. This one, this new one they came out with is enhanced with minerals and electrolytes from coastal seas of Iceland. And it's like, honestly, it's the one water. I'll be like, okay, and I go through one of those in a dance lesson. It's amazing. And they're not even paying me to say that. Although they should. Although they should. It's authentic. they should um okay so tell everybody um where i mean they probably already follow you but just in case tell us where to find you i'm at the birds papaya on instagram or the papaya podcast as well just search papaya you'll probably find me but yeah the birds papaya on instagram that's kind

of where i hang out the most and you'll find everything else from there and uh it's my favorite to connect with people human connection is like my addiction and just being raw and real with people is kind of my thing. And you'll get to see me mess up and you'll get to see me be, um, ball my eyes out. And you'll also get to see me be, you know, the dumb little person that I love to be sometimes too. And just somebody who enjoys miniatures and, uh, you know, a good friends episode and a good deep dive on why Rachel and Joey should have ended up together. Oh my God. I'm going to do a whole other episode with you on that because I am intrigued by your thoughts. Thank you so much for being on the pod and for staying up so late and doing such

long podcast with me. Oh, it's so fun. It's so fun. I love chatting with you. And, uh, I mean, you are always welcome on the pod. And I can't wait till we can actually see each other in person. I know. Me too. We were supposed to be a wedding this weekend. So I know. Frick. The blare it. Well, you know what? We'll just have to throw our another wedding. Well, amen. Okay, go get some rest and, uh, love you and thank you so much. Love you too. Thank you. Yeah, of course. Anytime. You're welcome anytime. Okay. And Jason's back again. We're so. Hi. Hi. Okay, love you. Bye.

Bye. Thanks for listening to Ospre Vine with Caitlin Brisco. Get new episodes every Tuesday exclusively on podcast.1.com, the Podcast One app, and subscribe on Apple Podcasts. Who's that with OTV?