Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Shannon Ford Middleton | Bleph Buddies, Bird Attacks & Going Full Comedian!

Episode Date: January 30, 2025

#811. Kaitlyn is joined by the always unfiltered and hilarious Shannon Ford for an episode full of laughs, chaos, and unexpected moments. They bond over their bleph surgeries and share how easy the recovery actually was—even when they tried to milk it. Shannon spills all the details on her dreamy Italian destination wedding, why keeping it small was the best decision, and the ick her husband unknowingly gave her right after they first hooked up (hint: it involves TikTok dancing). Plus, she’s hitting the road for her first-ever comedy tour, Pray for Me, and shares what it’s really like to memorize an entire hour of stand-up. And just when you think this episode couldn’t get funnier, Shannon drops a story about the time a pigeon literally flew into her mouth in NYC—and that one time she accidentally took meth in Tulum. We love Shannon!! Tune in now. If you’re LOVING this podcast, please follow and leave a rating and review below! PLUS, FOLLOW OUR PODCAST INSTAGRAM HERE! Thank you to our Sponsors! Check out these deals! Cook Unity: Go to cookunity.com/VINE for 50% off your first week. Thanks to Cook Unity for supporting the show! Kion: Use my link to save 20% at GETKION.COM/OTV Spade & Sparrows: Use code OFFTHEVINE to receive 15% off your first order at www.spadeandsparrows.com EPISODE...See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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We pretty much talked about everything. What do we talk about? Girl. We talked about your... I don't know. You leaning into being a comedian. Yeah. We talked about how a pigeon flew in your mouth. Yeah, yeah. We talked about my blef, your bluff.

Oh, we talked a lot of blef. We talked a lot of blef, a lot of plastic surgery talk. We talked about, oh, oh, we talked about my husband a lot. Yeah, we talk about your husband, too. Yeah, yeah. And Kat Campbell's sitting across from us, not on camera. Which has been so fun. But her little voice just chimes in every now and again, and we loved it.

That was great. It was a really good episode, guys. I'm biased, but I f***le. So, tune in. Like, imagine having so much dandruff that it's really hard to wear a block. That's how we're starting the podcast. Do you use head and shoulders? I use whatever.

I use stuff that's, like, good for curly hair. like I use stuff that smells nice that I get conned into buying at the salon But it's still salon quality Yeah yeah I'm not using herbal essence Yeah I mean honestly that I see that I sometimes reach for that at my parents' house We have cat on the mic who

It's like happening Yeah we're going Cat on the mic but didn't want to be on camera But even though you look cute She's a floating head in the abyss And I almost ask Kat to come to this podcast Which is I have no right to do at all Because it's literally Caitlin's podcast

Cat is basically my sister so you can invite her anywhere at this point. But I just missed you and I thought, oh, I'm doing Caitlin's podcast so maybe a cat could swing by and then she pulled up and she goes, hi, did you know I was coming today and watching? Literally in my workout clothes looking like a toe. I don't think it would be beautiful. Well, I looked like a toe about 30 minutes ago. And then we were talking about this earlier where I had my.

So what, Google Cal? It does whatever time zone you're in at the moment. Yeah, so I thought our podcast was at two, really was at one. And then at 1255, they're like, are you coming? Let us know when you're on your way. And I was like, fudge! No, it's. it's really not good for the old forgetful sallies like me i have to like write it in the thing

like kately bristow podcast at 2 p.m because you're google cow with jet setters like us they can get confusing kately it happens to me actually like you would think i'd learn by this point because it happens to me a lot cat how bad am i with time not good yeah but that's what i'm here for yeah cat's like so like if you're regiment on time you're late i kind of did grow up like that too really yeah it was like a weird pageant thing if you're on time you're late wait if you're early you're on time if you're on time you're late if you're late you're left that is a pageant thing that's also an athlete thing I feel like I remember hockey players saying that really back when I would like go on first date so I would be like oh my god stop getting there five minutes early you look like a freak

like I it's giving desperate like it was so weird like I actually sometimes I have to tell myself like certain situations and certain instances like you should not be like right on time I um never on time for anything and like I bet at influencer events which I don't go to that many anymore, but I bet the PR people and the girls that are in charge of it, I bet they fucking love me because I'm like, if the event starts at seven to nine, I'm there at seven, six, 65.

Yeah, and then I'm like, God, I'm such a loser. I'm the only one here and I'm just only talking to, which actually I prefer talking to people that work there anyways. But like, sometimes I'm like, oh my God, I don't know a loser. Wait, why are you not going to influence their events anymore? No, I just, you know what? I moved to Franklin and I'm like, Nashville, who are they kidding? I'm not going all the way over there.

Oh, like not. Oh, like local. Like, yeah, yeah. Like, I don't know. I'll just be like, oh, CBA. It's very British. James says this all the time. Oh, can't be asked. Can't be asked. And I'm just like, can't be asked. Can't be asked. Wait, have you ever done a tart trip? Are you kidding me? No, I'm not that famous. I wish. I could do something really scandalous and make you invite me. I feel like you're in that category, though, of who they invite. That's so nice. No, I feel like you have to be extraordinarily like up in the, like, realm of famous people. I this is nothing against tart and I think people will always be like you're just jealous because you don't get invited but for some reason it would give me anxiety to go to those tart events because every girl there is like an 11 out of 10 they all know what they're doing like creating content socially it would give me like social creation it would probably give me anxiety because they are on it like it's a lot of TikTokers and I think creators that are TikTokers are a lot more on their feet and they're a lot more like they'll TikTok any they just know how to do it so quickly and I kind of came from the realm of Instagram, which is like where you really like kind of take a lot of footage and then you

curate it in a beautiful way and then you put it out there like a day or two later. TikTok's so raw. I'm great at stories being raw, whatever, but like these girls can create really good TikToks off the cusp and like that's a talent that I think Tart really appreciates. That's true. I can't even, I tried the other day when I was in New York to stick my phone on like a window and do like an outfit thing and I couldn't do it. No, no, no, seriously.

Take me out back and shoot me like, oh, again. yellow like I cannot I can't like I when I I try so like everyone in New York he's doing it by the way everyone and I'm like don't care by the way they're all cooler than me all the girls in New York that are doing it's cooler than me but I'm like can't can't can't can't it's I get inspired because I'm like they look so cool and then I do it I'm like I am such a loser I did it in London one time and like I don't know three or four people passed me and you know the age old saying everyone doesn't like people don't care about you like you care about yourself people don't care about you. I'm convinced that four

people that passed me were like, you're the biggest loser that ever loser in Luserville, USA and you sit on a throne of losers. But it is, people do care because if I'm in my dentist appointment, watching your girl stick her phone to her thing to the window, I'm judging. When has that happened a dentist appointment?

I'm just saying, like, you don't know what building you're attached to it to. If the windows are mirrored, and there's a girl doing a, like, check me out. I'm judging. You mean if you, yeah, yeah, yeah. I judge myself. 100%. And I, and I, that, That's what I did when I was in London. I took forever. James was like, oh, I just stick into one of them because I was like trying

to find a building that I could see through intel that was like under construction or no one was there because I was like, I will not end up on some influencers in the wild, like your view of me from the inside. I took three extra turns just to go down a street that nobody was on to try and do it. And I still, nobody was around. I was embarrassed just for myself. Yeah, James doesn't care. He's really good about that.

Taylor doesn't care. And I'm like, oh, oh, someone's coming. And they're like, okay. And I'm like, ah, it's definitely a me thing. Like, I really need to do some, like, inner work. Why are we so insecure? I don't know. I don't know.

Why do we think we're cool? I really don't judge other people when I see them doing it either. Like, I'm like... It depends for me. Sometimes I'm like, wow, they're brave. You really don't care. Yeah. And then other times I'm like, get out of hell.

Get out of here, girl. Yeah. No, I'm just like, can't be me. Sometimes it's me. But anyways. I know. I do it too sometimes. But anyway, moving along.

So we've got a bar. we're both in the bluff club yeah yeah bluff club how did your healing go mine was literally like i'm trying to think of something it was easier than like it was the easiest thing in the world was yours easy yes actually so i went to dr chiotto who is amazing dr mike he's bridget's husband you guys probably all know who i'm talking about we went into dallas texas to get it on i don't know why i said we me i'm the only one that got the surgery um but james did go with me for more it's so so i was like i was like james has to come with me and mike was like yeah yeah if you want them there for moral support or like you know whatever's fine but like you know it's

far as healing and just like overall like you're not going to need him there and I was like no no I'm having surgery I'm going under the knife he better be there you guys like literally I was like bye and my sister lives in Dallas so like he stayed for two or three days and then he went back home because I had to be there for a week yeah that was the only thing because dr. Michael was was very adamant of course about him being the one that took my stitches out and then checking after a week so I stayed in Dallas for a week which was fine because I was talking out with my sister and it was so much fun but yeah no I didn't need anyone there to like other than just drive me home after the hospital. I tried so hard to milk it into something that it wasn't. Correct. It's so

Dr. Mike said it's a gateway drug for surgery because everyone thinks that like, oh my God, that was so easy. Everything must be easy. Oh, I know. I'm getting a new set of tits in like two weeks. No, it's like people that get under bluff, that's another thing. That's a really much severe surgery. Oh, it is. It's like, it's way, way, way more intense. Well, that's, I've said this before on the pod, but I just, I'm so scared to influence people to all go get it done because I'm like, I barely had any taken off. Mine was very easy. Yeah, yours was. Yours was minimal. Mine was like a ball sack on my eyes. Did you? No, like for real. Like I, have you seen the before? It's like, people still comment like, your blef goes crazy, girl. Like, I see, I see people take your photos and everything, for example, like, because you know when you get something done or you look up something or you're talking about it, then all of a sudden, everything on your Instagram is that.

Of course. So people were like, oh, Shannon Ford and Caleb Ristow talked about getting their blef. And then I saw all of yours. And I was like, damn, yours before and after is so good. It was crazy. It's genetic having hooded eyes. And I've always had them. And mine are just simply more, I don't know if the word you would call is full saggier. Like mine were just more. But it's all specific. Like he took more off one eye than the other. I'm sure you had that. Yeah. It's it's, you know, their sisters, not twins. And mine were just crazy. Like I would wear fake eyelashes and you like wouldn't be able to see that I had fake eyelashes on. Like a winged line. Like forget about it. Like I didn't have to do anything to my lids. Like honestly, my makeup has like gotten a little harder because I have to do more. Because you can actually. see my eyelid now now my only problem is the scars are a little bumpy they will it'll go away that it goes away i think it took me about like it's weird it's like little pieces of think about it as being little knots from your stitches like skin and um i had those bumps and i was on my honeymoon so i got it done in may march may yeah may and then my wedding was september so honeymoon was like september october and i still had some of the little bumps and they started popping out on my honeymoon because they're literally just I mean popping out.

Like, I was like, oh, this is driving me crazy. And I, like, finally, like, I guess I probably pierced my skin, almost like a, you know when you get a bump of cilia on your skin, you really should go to the dermatologist to have them, like, remove it. But if you wanted to be, like, crazy, you could technically, like, pierce your skin with a little, like, needle. And then it'll just, like, a little ball. That's what you did to your eyelid?

I just got, it was, it was the one on the furthest way out. So it wasn't my actual eye, but it was right here. And it was driving me nuts because it's a little ball. It's a little, like, rough ball. And it just, and I looked at it. I go, damn, that just popped right out. And so they eventually do, I don't know if the others popped out when I wasn't noticing or if they just, like, massaged into my skin.

Okay, that's good to know because they're all gone now. This side is so much different because Pino sliced this one back open and I had to get it restitched. No. Oh, I was like rocky. Like my eyelid was hanging. Sorry. Yeah. That's brutal.

Yeah, it was not good. Oh, my gosh. Yeah, no, mine was extremely easy, but I did have a lot of skin to work with. And then Dr. Mike did say he was like, you know, the purpose was I posted the whole journey not to influence people, but to one, just be open about getting plastic. surgery and then like obviously I did explain to everyone but I had so many girls like influencers in my DMs like I want this I want that I want this I want this and I was like send me a video of your eyes like I'll tell you if you need it the amount of girls that were sending me videos and I was like babe you don't you don't have hooded eyes yeah you don't you don't have hooded eyelids you have no

hooded eyelids like and then like no no I swear and then Mike was like it's so crazy because your surgery before and after is so good and I'm so guilty of this right like like I'm trying to think of like an example like I don't know like a girl with like a super long torso and like an incredible like tan amazing body and big bum post an outfit and I'm like I literally have to own that outfit and then it comes out and I'm like that doesn't look like that on me it's like you're influenced but then it doesn't you have to remind yourself like you didn't have that part yeah you aren't that so I do that all the time he was like you influence so many people he was like the amount of consultations that I have done where I've had to turn people away and be like

we cannot perform the surgery on you you do not have put or eyes and they all show your picture and like I she looks so much better I want that and he's like she had so much hooded eye skin and so she looked so much better because she had that like you don't have that so like we cannot do the before and after on you like it will not look like that so I did feel bad that I was like influencing people but I mean honestly like a sleigh is a sleigh like everyone thought I looked great so a sleigh it's crazy like how it changes that's I mean I changes but doesn't change because my mom was like I can't really tell but I can't but I can't I love how subtle it is I love that it's 15 minutes

to do it but also I'm like that totally is a gateway because now I'm like what else can you do yeah I know he told me he was like it's a slippery slope I can't think of anything right now that I want to do to myself but you know it's good to know that the options are always there I can name 30 but I'm not going to because I realize how delusional I yeah yeah no you're delusional like I have full full dysmorphia to the max and I know it so I'm able to be like mid yeah I mean I I think everyone has like bouts of that for sure but mine's like a full send a full of a full sent the day in h we live in it's like sometimes i'm like i should do that and then i'm like you got a log off bitch it's i said one time out loud to somebody i think i want to get a nose job and the gasp

that they gasped and then i was like oh yeah you're right that's so stupid that's a girl no i'm gonna admit you i know you look like you've had a nose job i haven't it it looks like a filter nose like it looks like but you know what and not to scare you but like there are girls out there that do like actually like give in to the desires and the feelings and then they have like serious issues down the road, especially with noses is one of them, because there's only so much, I know you won't, but there's only so much of this bridge of your nose that you have. And like once it collapses, like, you don't have a nose. They can't rebuild it.

It's not something that they can put back. Yeah, I mean, that'd be a good example. So don't go mess with your nose. And I look at Megan Fox and I like her before her nose job and I'm like, I'd have to see the before and after. Okay, we're going to move on from the bluff in two seconds. No, no, no. It's a really, it's a good topic.

People love it and want to know everything. They do. It was like really interesting. I got really scared because my eyes didn't close all the way for a while, which is crazy that you don't realize how important your eyelids are as a function of your eyes. I think I realized that. I should have. That would be a really normal thing to do. But like when I showered, I was like, ow, because water is like touching your eyes. You couldn't shut your eyes? I couldn't. They were slit open like this. Like they were like little slits. Yeah, it was also so weird. And of course, you know, like the mean people on the internet was like, you got a bunch surgery. And I was. And I knew I didn't. Of course I didn't. Like Dr. Mike is so incredible and he even specializes in doing like younger people. Like a lot of people that got bluffs for a while before we kind of came on the scene were just older people. It's really hard for me to find before and afters for a bluff that was on a younger person. And I was like, ah, I don't want that. That's crazy. And so anyways, I knew it was incredible work. But like, of course, just the internet gets to you. And I was like, did I get a botch surgery? And then he's like literally, Shannon, your

eyelid will close. Like give it time. And then I think like two weeks later, I was like, oh my god my eyelids closed perfectly and then when people are like for i don't they've probably said like i don't notice a difference i'm like good that's the point yeah yeah yeah if you were like it all of a sudden had like two inches of lid people didn't notice a difference until i truly put a side by side showing like like the legit difference and then they're like oh and i'm like so for instance in this photo i have a a literal strip of false eyelashes on and this photo i do not have any false lashes on i never could see your lid yeah yours too like both of y'all have like the perfect amount of lid. Yeah, yeah. Now? Obviously, very conservative. That was like the main thing.

I think any surgery you get as long to tell them. Do you hear what my, um, doctor's name was? What? No, yes, you did. What was it? Something like Dr. Slicinstein. Dr. Clippinstein. Dr. Slicinstein. No, that's actually crazy. Do you know that one of my favorite authors for like horror murder mystery book, which is like my favorite thing. And then I'm like, why can't I sleep alone at night? Um, is Karen Slaughter. And I, the first thing I did was Google like stage name question mark. No, that's literally her last name. Slaughter. She was born to do it. She's born to write novels and Dr. Clippenstein. Born to Clip the eyelids. Born to fix our faces.

I was so sad. I was like no shit. Her name is Clippinstein. I mean, I didn't know how often she has to hear that. It's like, I know. I almost wanted to say something to her like, that's your job. I didn't even notice that until someone was like, oh, ha, ha, ha. And I was like, what do you mean? I was like, Clipinstein. That's funny. I think that's really funny. Anyways, Bluff gang goes hard.

Bluff gang goes so hard and don't get it unless you really need it. Yeah, don't get it unless you really need it. Unless you really want it. if you really want it. My sister was like, my sister has a hood of eyes. And she's like, by the way, Lauren already told me I cannot get a bluff. She loves my hooded eyes. And I'm not getting one. I was like, okay. I didn't tell you to get one. And she was like, no, I'm just saying like, I am not getting one. I was like, okay. Don't get it then. Kat got you this really beautiful wedding gift. Oh my God. That was the nicest thing ever. Kat.

It was most beautiful hand painted, like gorgeous on canvas that I'm going to frame it really beautifully. love it so much it's just such a good memory of like a moment that was so beautiful and i agree and it's one of my favorite pictures i'm like you were like it looks just like i'm like i know cat that's one of my favorite photos that's one of my like favorite photos that's one of my top three of the wedding photos the way the veil is moving were no joke rachel just did so good bushwhacked was my photographer and she's from nashville yeah yeah i didn't know that whenever i i really just like found her actually anna grace told me like i think this is so your style i think you would love her and i was like oh my god i've seen this girl before i've seen her work she's incredible and then

I obviously looked more at her work and she just seemed like so cool. She herself and her wife are so cool that I was just like, they live in New York, they live in LA, they live somewhere like super cool. They live in Barcelona. Like, I don't know. And then I was like, whatever, I'm hiring her. And having a wedding in Italy, honestly, a lot of my vendors weren't, I had to fly people out anyway. So I was just kind of like, whatever it is, what it is, have to buy flights anyways. And so when I reached out to her, she was like, oh my God, yeah, perfect. I have that date available. Do you want to grab coffee and we can chat about it? And I was like, girl I got me flying people out to grab coffee now and she was like I live in Franklin

Franklin not even Nashville she's like I live in Franklin I thought that's why you like another reason you hired me I was like what that she was talking about doing an engagement shoot and I was like yeah like I got to roll out the you know dollar dollar bill I guess we're gonna fly somewhere from the engagement shoot she's like no I literally live in Franklin and I was like what it was just amazing all things amazing and she's just like a dear friend of mine now and I just love her work she's actually hilarious like her and her wife can be a comedian like they're both so funny such good energy it matters so much for the person that's that involved in your day to be like great and she was just wonderful they didn't like

bought you know you've been on a lot of weddings you know some of those photographers i get it listen if you're a photographer i'm not throwing shade but like sometimes they can be like a little bossy in a way that it's like i know you got to get your shit done right yeah you want to live in the moment but sometimes they kind of really cosplay like okay like like go like i'm like whoa yucky i don't like it yeah i don't like a bunch of people telling me where to go and what to do but yeah i get that they have to for your wedding day because they know what they're doing but like, I get it. Don't hit me with a jump picture.

Now, jump on three. Jump on three. No, you know what? I actually was really psycho about not wanting any like really staged photos. And I told my photographer, I said, I'm really going to go hard on not wanting any stage photos. I just want everything to be candid. But if you get to a point where you think she really going to wish she had some photos where it's one, two, three, smile. Like, will you please like pull me for some?

And then like actually by the end of the wedding night, she was like, just so you know, I have the one photo of you and Taylor to. together before and I was like more take more and so we like did some dance stage dancing ones and some smile ones but that's a good call just get everything in the moment and at the end if you need more let me know yeah but I do think and to the point that she actually said like if you ever want to put your wedding dress on and James tucked back on I can take more photos of you guys that are like portrait style because what she's really known for is doing incredible portrait style photos of like the bride and the groom that are like so artistic so insane like they literally belong in like a museum they're so cool and I was very adamant that like once

the wedding was over, I wanted to spend five or ten minutes taking photos with James and like taking in the day. And then I wanted to go join the cocktail hour, whereas a lot of people choose to let their guests enjoy the cocktail hour and they go get all their pictures together. And I was just like, one, James and I have so many photos together. We've done so many photo shoots for this wedding. Like everyone's like, enough. Like, okay. And I was just like, I, we will have photos all night of me and my dress and him and his tucks. Like, I don't want to take any. And they were like, and my videographers were like, we need some. And I was like, no, no, we want to go do the cocktail hour. And I look back and we have some incredible photos.

one being the one that you had hand-painted, which we love. But honestly, we got about 10. And that's on me. And I look back and I'm like, I wish we had a little bit more, but that's on me. That's on me. Yeah, but you got to, it's a double-edged sword. Like, we did get to enjoy our cocktail hour in full with all of our friends and family and really be present.

I wonder if anyone ever walks away from a wedding is like, I did everything perfectly and no regards. Yeah, I'm sure tons of people do. Oh. But I just have a bigger brain. And more issues. I'm sure tons of, like, I'm sure tons of people are like, that was exactly what I wanted, but they might get yourself like a different in their mind

that might just be like their exact standard that they met. I was just kind of like, I'm going to go with this and I know my content influencer brain's going to be like, you're going to wish you had more. Yeah. You're going to wish you had more. And I had to like lean into like Shannon that will want to remember the moments of her wedding. Yes. And so like, it's just afterwards the content Shannon's like, damn, I ain't getting those photos holding a glass of champagne with my bridesmaids on a stupid bed and matching pajamas. But I'm like, did I want those? Maybe not. No shame. but like maybe not but like i don't have them if i did want them i don't have them you know okay content aside going to do a destination wedding for anyone planning a wedding right now yeah what's

something you even just about weddings in general what's something you wish you knew before it's it's hard because like destination weddings are so so popular right now and i actually think we're going to see a uh a desurgence of them i think i think people are a little over spending a ton of money to go to their friends weddings yes if you're going to have a destination wedding i think you this isn't really answering your question, but I think you really need to make it an incredible experience for your guests. And you need to find this really happy medium

of putting on a hell of a show for your guests while also letting your guests have their own time to enjoy the beautiful place that you sent them to because it's not fun to go to like adult slumber camp, adult like sleepaway camp. When people are like, just, I know you're spending $7,000 to come to my wedding, but just think it's like a vacation to you.

And you're like, really? Because like all I've been doing is going to these random events with like two drink coupons for your one. wedding that's not that fun like i don't really want to do that every day for six days right but like if you're like you know daddy war bucks and you can ball out and throw these people that throw like literally an incredible vacation for six days we just like didn't want to spend that much money on our wedding so i was 64 was the total final number yeah it was the perfect amount of activities and it was

like literally a dream vacation you guys to do your boat days when you wanted to do your boat days if you wanted to go to dinner the day before or the day after yeah it was just i think it was a really nice like amount but I still like I say it all the time like I really wrestled with the fact that every single one of my guests was like what are you joking I'm literally so happy to go to postano and we can't wait which is hard for me because I'm like damn I really one have always dreamed of having my wedding in Italy which is so extra but very me and two my husband's European and his friends have a lot of like normal jobs and have had a lot of weddings this past year like literally every single one of his friends got married in 2024 and they couldn't like take any more time

off. So to have the wedding in America, almost none of James' friends would have been able to come. To have it in Italy, which is a two-hour flight for them and they could have just made the vacation work, we kind of had to pick, like, who are we going to ask more of? And it was just like, we're going to have to ask more of the Americans. Yeah, that's fair. And, you know, they were happy to oblige, so it's fine. That's great. Did you have trouble, like, cutting off the guest list or were you like, these are my people? It was really hard at first, but there's a really beautiful, people ask me this all the time, like, how did you do it? If I had made my guest list 100, which is shockingly actually really small, too.

Yeah, it is. Yeah. A hundred people would have been so much harder to choose because you open up the gate. You've got like, let's say when people have a 300 person wedding and 200 people had 100 people and didn't invite me, I'd be offended. Correct. No, no, no, it would have been so many more people offended because people don't really understand and it's not for them to understand. They don't know what like tier they're at in their friendship. You know, there's a lot

of people that are my tier two friends that think they're tier one. And they're not. And that's fine. And they don't have to know. They don't have to understand that that's fine right but if i would have had invited a lot of tier one people yeah like people would have been like whoa whoa i'm in that it's like i had to literally keep it to truly like dear dear dear friends of ours and my immediate family and then james's dear dear dear friends of his and his immediate family no one was confused i only had two people reach out and be like hey let me know the date so i can go ahead put in the calendar and it was like i like i had to be like i'm so sorry like we have to keep the list so so small oh my gosh that makes me so uncomfortable no i mean it was

the girl was so nice. She's like, oh my God, I'm so, and I was like, no, because she just didn't know we were having a super small wedding. I don't. I don't scream small wedding. You know what I mean? Like, you kind of think I'm going to like go bankrupt to have my wedding and I would have a thousand people at it. Like, I get it. It's the energy I give off, but I've always been to a small wedding. So I didn't like feel funny. I mean, I definitely felt funny. I was like, plus she's also genuinely one of my dear friends. She just, she just wasn't a part of the like, like, like, actual like, you know, I don't know, top. And then that's horrible. Like, my God, if she's listening to this. She's going to be like, cool. I'm not. I'm not. your top 20 you bitch but like it's one of those things where it was so hard yeah to narrow it down but it was a little easier because 64 goes quick I have five people in my immediate family and two grandmas he has five people in his immediate family right so that's 12 yeah and then I invited 10 people almost all of them were married so then that's 20 so then that's my guess list wow because that's because then he does 10 and that's 40 and then that's 60 geez that's it does go quick that that's how fast it goes I think I would like a small one like so it was just it was it was brutal but also like people understood it more because it wasn't you didn't have to be like weird why is she

invited and none of it none of it was confusing you were like yeah those are her literal best friends okay yeah that's a good point does anything that your husband do give you the ick yeah oh my god sorry yes oh that didn't answer that so quick if i asked him he would be really sweet and be like yeah and then he like he'd have a list like i i never wanted to date someone in like that was also in content creation like everyone has this dream of a man who doesn't have an Instagram account is like how do you work this thing like everyone has that dream and there's something beautiful and attractive and like sexy and rugged about it right so like when i met him and fell in like immediate lust and almost damn near love it for sight with him i didn't

see his instagram right because i was a thought tiana and i just had sex with him the first night i met him and then when i was like the next day like oh my god that was literally the best sex of my life and he's so hot and blah blah let me look him up i'm like ah oh my god he's doing ticot dances no no what the what the f like yeah like it's and then like you I actually really had struggled with it at first because I was trying to create this like image of this like perfect guy and it was one of my friends who said like I love you so much but like literally imagine dating you and I was like no that is such a good point like imagine a guy is like preconceived kind of fucked up but kind of how we're fucked up to dream this dream guy like imagine his idea and then you find out that I'm on a podcast being like yeah and like discharge and like literally anything like are you kidding me like yeah imagine that so i think about that all the time like the hypocrisy that i feel because i'm like people will be like but that's what you do i'd be like but i'm not attracted to that yeah yeah yeah i don't want to date me but there's just i just had to realize that one like stopping hypocrite Shannon and then also

there's just like 85000 more things that i love about him that over like superseded like i just recently noticed that James Instagram blew up. Yeah. So he had a video go viral that was actually, it's funny enough. He asked me a lot of questions. I get it. It's much like I'm sure I asked him questions. And I'm like, I don't give a, like, and then I'm sure I ask him like, do you like my nail color? And he's like, I don't give a. But he's nice. And he's like, I love that. Guys, that blue is such a good dark blue. But like he had asked me a question like, what do you think about? And actually, I sometimes, it's 50-50. I film some of his content. if he needs it to be like more dynamic and like moving and I'm actually really good at like

when he does his scripts and stuff I'll be like you should also say this and who's like oh I like like you come over here so I like sometimes I like being a little creative director and sometimes CBA I can't be fucking ass I'm like use a tripod yeah bitch like I do not want to do this anyways it was one of these times that I just was like not in the mood and he was asking me about content he's like should I repost this video that went viral back in January or whatever date it was and I was like yeah sure literally was like not listening and And he was like, is that weird, though? Because, and I was like, how many, like, it had gotten like, I don't know, it had gotten

some, like a lot of traction. Like, maybe by going viral, he meant, like, a few hundred thousand views. Yeah. And I was like, yeah, sure, repost it. And then I really did listen because I'm a nice wife. And I was like, okay, if you repost it, just maybe make the caption say something like, this video went viral. This video went viral.

So I wanted to reshare, blah, blah, blah. Yeah. So he literally re-shared a video that had already popped off, re-shared it. It went to the fucking moon. What? What was it? It was just a video. What was it? Okay, it was a video. It was really polarizing, so that also helped. It was like,

vegan works until you can't get an erection. This works until you can't. It was basically talking about all the different things people do to be healthy and like really, really, you could just really simplify it and just be, you know, take it easy. I love his content for that reason. Yeah. It's so, it's so digestible. It's more, it is. Relatable and adjustable. It's very digestible. And it's also just like he puts a lot of really great visuals with it. But anyways, that video took off to the moon. And the really good thing is, is like you could have a video go viral, right? On Instagram, on TikTok, whatever. But if it's a video that just happened to go viral of like me and James doing something funny, but I'm not, this is a good example for James. James's page

is in a couple account, right? It's not like an account you would follow to watch funny couple content. And so if you had a video that went viral like that, and then you got a huge influx of followers, and then they started following you, they're like, I don't give a fuck about calorie intake and macros. You lose all those followers. This video popped off that was so specifically about exactly what he stands for, what he talks about. about all the time, everything. And he got a huge amount of followers from it that all stuck. Now, I've actually never seen anything like this before to the fact that I was like, just so you know, this looks incredibly fake. And you need to screenshot. Thank God, Instagram shows you

all your analytics. And I was like, it could look like he bought them. Yes. Which, like, how many are we talking? He gained, he had less followers than me. He had, not me, me. Like, he had less followers to me. He had like 300,000 something followers. And he gained half a million followers. Holy shit. Yeah. And by the way to the account the um video still kind of gets traction sometimes and he's like enough like enough um because yeah he he basically if he clicks on that video it it shows him the insights that he got over half a million followers from it um and they're great because a lot of them have stuck by which is great i mean like it's hard to then get your engagement you know it's it's such a it's such a ordeal like do all those 800 000 people then engage with you you're not a real friend of

there so maybe you follow the bottom of their algorithm like you know if you go on instagram you can click that button that says like least interacted with accounts. I look at that sometimes I'm like when the I don't see any of their shit like I don't and that's because you don't interact with it so it doesn't pop up in your feet a lot so like you know James's engagement didn't like soar to the moon

and so he's like I need that video to stop popping off because it's really important as an influencer for your engagement to match your followers but it's all authentic and I was like you need to be posting those screenshots people don't think you bought these followers which he would just literally never buy followers anyways like we have a life and a mortgage that's crazy um I can't

I mean, I know people, I think it was more of a thing back in the day for companies. I mean, I'm sure influencers did it, but I think companies did a lot to seem more legit so that their company, you would be like, oh my God, they have a, well, I guess you couldn't buy a blue check back then. But I know now people might buy a blue check and then also buy some followers to make themselves look legit as a company. That makes me kind of sad, though. I understand.

It's just always obvious. When you have like 40 likes and 50,000 followers, it's like that just doesn't add up. It just doesn't track. It just doesn't track. So, but yeah, that was crazy. When he blew up like that, it was just like, and I just so remember being like, Sherry, I'll repost it if you want. Like, that's how like, oh.

I'm like, why is he asking me what if he likes my nail color? Like, I don't know. Don't give a fuck. And then it. It, like, really changed a lot of things for him. Like, he has, he has so many more opportunities now and it's just like really incredible for him. That's amazing.

He's really good. He's really good at Instagram. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. He really does a good. I mean, you guys have met him too. So, like, that's how he is in all life. Yeah.

That's why it was always weird for me when he did, when he geared a lot back in the day. Like, you know, he's grown. Haven't we all, right? Like, when he did a lot of the turnout dances, my friends would meet him and be like, that is not what I expected. And I'm like, what do you mean? They're like, he's just very, like, manly and, like, himself and like, like, quiet and stoic. Like, I didn't, he just, I only seen him do the renegate.

Like, I don't know. Like, that's not what I thought. And I'm like, yeah, that's literally not who he is. Renegate. No, I love him. Let me got you guys show real quick, babe. I love you. That I'm really impressed by him and it's it's incredible. That was also a really, really, really fun way to get around what he gives you the ick with. Yeah. I can name some more. No. He yeah, he takes laundry out of the dryer and just puts it on the floor. But I like it. That one, that one I think I take a little too far. I'm like the amount of disrespect that that shows to me as a person to disregard the literal clothing, which you know I spend a lot of money on and to put it on the floor. And then like he's only ever done it twice, like taking a full load out. just like put it on the ground and then put his in like that wet laundry no no dry but like

okay the like the and so anyways yeah I really I really got mad at him the first couple times and then he's only ever done it one other time since then and I like I like sat down like a parent like in a chair like I was like can you come down here for a second and I like now that I think I'm really that's probably pretty crazy but um you would hate me you just throw them on the ground yeah until I have time to fold it there's too much going on no but but but we do separate laundry we We don't do our laundry together. So you would just throw all of Worth's nice, like really nice clothes, not not workout clothes. Like nice clothes. You just take him out of the dryer and throw him on the ground.

No, no, I do it to my own. That's fine. It's really, really nice that's going through the wash. If James said it to himself. See, yeah. And I, and sometimes I cannot be asked to fold his shit. So I'll be like, I really do the dryer. So I'll take his step out and I'll lay it flat on top of the dryer.

But I won't crumple it. Can I tell you how much I love living by myself? No, I literally, yeah. I love living with James, but I do. Well, it's having a roommate and you've got to adjust and compromise. And I don't think it's natural. I don't think it's what God intended. God intended us to be alone.

Yeah. To live alone. Yeah. No, I actually can't live with that. I'm like, I'm so scared at night and it's great that he's there. Let's talk about God. You're very religious. Pray for you.

Oh, the pray for me tour. No, oh my gosh. Yeah. People are not how about that? No. Actually, there were so, there were so, so classic internet. There were so, so, so many more nice people about that. Yeah.

Because, well, because you have a very supportive audience. I feel like people get you. They get your humor. They kind of like what we were saying. They stick around because they know who you are and you're very, like, true to who you are and what you do. It's a phrase that the Jackie and Claudia say on the toast all the time. It's called trust your faves. And like, trust your faves.

Like they'll be like something, something. I'm not going to buy into that. I trust my faves. I trust my faves. And so I think that I have a really great following of people that just like, even if they were like, what's that? They'd be like, I trust her, though. I know her heart. I know her heart is in the right place

So that's what I think But some people did not trust your vision Well you know a lot of people don't follow you For context Oh yeah for context I'm going on at a comedy tour Thank you so much It's my first debut comedy tour Stand Up tour and I'm touring it around the country

And you have to name such things You know it's if you're going on Live podcast tour which is what I did a lot last year You don't really have to name that You just call it like I think we called ours Probably a live show like because it's probably a podcast and Kalby Shannon. But this I wanted it to be one, I really wanted to differentiate myself from the live podcast space because I've worked my literal dick off to write an hour's worth of stand-up

and memorize it and perform it and do it well. And so I wanted it to be clear that this was a stand-up tour. And so you name them, you know. And I could have named it something like probably stand-up or like, you know, a lot of people name stuff like Nikki Glacers, Alive and Unwell, Grace O'Malley, anything goes tour or something like that. Like you can name it stuff like that but I was just like what would be what would be like funny and make sense and I thought about my whole set and I was like what's like a really like what's a really funny joke and I have this like one joke which I don't want to spoil like come to a show yeah um link in bio uh but like I have this really funny joke where it's it's not really about Christianity it's about this guy that was

really Christian that I dated and then something really funny happened and at the end I say like pray for me and it gets a big laugh because it's hilarious and that's it like there's not another joke in my set sorry to you know ruin the the the surprise, but there's not another joke about Christianity, God, Jesus, church, really anything in my set. Like, there's just not. But, but because you promoted it as pray for me, everyone took. Well, you have to name it. And it's like a musician naming an album. Like Taylor Swift named her album, the tortured poets department. The whole album wasn't about that one song. That's just like what she named it, you know? And so that's like, I don't know. I just thought that would

be easy to promote. That would be funny. Now, don't get a choice. I knew. I was like, I'm tiptoeing into dangerous waters, but like I was like, I'm not going to do anything offensive to the point that, so the promotional video that I posted for the Pray for Me tour, I wanted to do something really big and cool. And so I had this vision where I walk in a church, but I was like, I don't want it to be a real church because I'm not messing with that. You know, Sabrina Carpenter got in trouble for that. She did something in a Catholic church and like, they did not like that. You're like, I will build my own church. Yeah, yeah. I was like, it'll be a set. It'll be actors. It'll be real. The guy wasn't really reading from the Bible. I was like,

say a prayer. Although he did do the, I much just said, Well Nation under God. That's a Pledge of he did do the Lord's Prayer and I was like oh that's really specific maybe we but whatever it's fine and so anyways it's just me walking in the door opens I'm in a trench coat everyone whips their head around and I open the trench coat and it's filmed from behind so whoa she might be naked and of course it's really funny all the extras went like and then like a grandma covers a little kid's eye and you're like oh and then I walk to the front of the pew I take a like random cup what I bought from Party City that was like a 21 I'm finally 21 cup and we spray painted at gold to look at make it look like a chalice and i take the cup that's empty and then i and also like it

doesn't make sense like if you if you're a christian you know that that's not how communion works that's and no one's out there and so anyways i turn around i grab the cup and you you see that she's in fact not naked she's wearing a shirt that says pray for me tour 20 25 yeah so like yeah i mean that was just like in my mind hilarious and it is hilarious and the people that got it got it and the people the evangelicals of the world that were like this is so blasphemous like They're just probably always going to say that. Also, I just like, if that is the most shocking thing that I've done, like, to think my producers of this, she's like, the amount of shit you say, the amount of stuff you do,

the amount of things you promote and talk about, like, I am on my podcast at all times talking about like sex, drugs, like overconsumption of alcohol, like, oh my God, like, oh, I'm just really miss doing drugs. Like, I've done meth before. It was so fun. I get the allure. Like, I literally talk about all that. that stuff like what like I don't know what you guys expected me to be the clip for this podcast

that we're going to use before like I just like don't the meth was by accident but I do see how people could be into it like I do I was there but you were there oh that was bad what you didn't it was accident I thought it was Molly I never done Molly before so then I was like this Molly he's crazy and then it was in Touloum right Touloum wait I have the bathroom attendant does not have your best interest at Hart they do not when they don't have any teeth Shannon that's when you know. I know, but they're so convincing. They were just like, Molly, okay, Molly, okay, and I was like, both. Meth? Both! Both! Yeah, put them together. Yeah, I didn't know. And then when I

explained to people, like, they're like, what did it look like? I told him, they were like, that is not what Molly looks like. Yeah, that's what I'm confused about. I'm like, what did it look like? Like gray crystals. And you chew them? So meth. So meth, so meth. Did you smoke it with like, foil on a spoon? No, that's so funny. When Taylor found out, She's like, what did you do? Like with a spoon? I was like, no, bitch. I injected it.

I was heroin. I heated it up and injected. No, no, I just like put it on my tongue and like then it was so bad. But like I did it with another couple and my boyfriend at the time and we were just all not okay. Yeah, that. Anyways. In another country too that like makes me. Oh, it was so, it was so bad.

I can't express to you like the way I felt is something you cannot put in towards. Like it was so horrific. Like it was so fun. And then it was so bad. Oh, God. insight really do be 20 20 yeah so anyways that was that all I'm saying is like I have never I don't think I've ever been like you're your I'm not Maddie Pruitt like what why what are you like I don't know what you guys are expecting from me but like I yeah I just felt like it was very par for

the courts and I wasn't like people that were shocked I was like oh might I interest you in the rest of my content from the rest of my life welcome to my anyway But I do have a question about the tour. Yeah. Are you more nervous doing stand-up than you are doing a podcast tour? Oh, my God. Anything in my whole life. Thank you.

I've never been more scared of anything in my whole life. And I've successfully done it. I've done six shows where I perform my full hour set of stand-up. Now, I have changed it a lot for this because you want to and you're going to some of the same city. So I want to make sure people that come back are not like, I literally saw this already. But I did a, I've done it well. I've done it five times.

and every single time I'm about to walk on stage, I'm like, what the fuck am I thinking? Like, I can't do this. You can't do this. Like, this is so stressful. I'm going to forget everything because it's memorization. You know what I mean? It's like a monologue. It's an hour monologue with like breaks. And now that I haven't memorized, I can do more crowd work. Like, that's good. I feel like you'd be so good at crowdwork. I love crowdwork. I think I'm good at it. It rolls off my tongue, but you cannot do crowdwork if you're not comfortable with your material. Because then you can't get back on your track. You can't get back on track. You're so scared to lose your spot. And the first like two or three shows, I was like a teleprompter. I still had good

energy and like it was still funny. But like to look at those shows compared to like the last three or four I've done like my like my producer and tour manager Courtney will come up and be like, oh my God. Like because like I can riff. I can make jokes. I can be like talking to people in the audience and then I can go right back to where I was. That's amazing. And that is really skill. It's really hard to do. But no, it's so frightening. It's so scary. I'm actually doing a set at Zanis. They're like lab, which is where people like test out new content. content and it's a 20 minute set, 20 to 30 minute set. And that was really hard for me. I still haven't done it yet. And I'm more petrified of that than anything because I did comedy a little

backwards. I wrote an hour long set and then started performing it. A lot of people, a lot of comedians would kind of, and I cheated a little bit, right, because I already have this audience. I already had this audience that honestly half people that bought tickets, even when I was saying, like, I'm doing stand up now. Half of them didn't really know and bought tickets thinking it was a live podcast show. And then would be like, oh my God, I didn't realize you were doing standup because it wasn't really heavily promoted that way. So I cheat in the way that I have this beautiful audience of fans that already love me. Yeah. Versus a lot of comedians, most comedians, they just have to come up in the trenches, right? Like, they're going to these comedy clubs and they're doing,

they're begging for 10 minutes on set to run their jokes and hope that people laugh so that they can get to be someone's opener. It's a grind. And I talk about it a lot. Like, I don't know if I'm using the right words, but like, Impostors Interim where I'm like, I'm not grinding it up. I, I cheated. I jumped I skipped I had like had a cheat code but like I have to remind myself like my journey is my journey but all that to be said I never had a 10 or 20 minutes set and my comedy is a lot more like storytelling with really funny jokes all in each story I'm not the comedy the comedic that gets up there and tells like I call them knock knock jokes that's not what they're called that's probably offensive people that just get up and it's like joke joke joke joke and so when someone was like I need you to I was at a I was at a show and I crush it it was so good it was an hour set I was in my flow I did crowd work it was incredible. And then I was at this comedy club in North Carolina, I think, and the owner came up to me and was like, hey, we're doing open mic, open mic night for comedic comics, comedians. Comedians. I just had a stroke. Clowns, clowns were there. It was lots of clowns. Clowns were there. They were doing an open mic night. We do, everyone would be obsessed. We you hop on stage for 20 minutes. And Courtney's like, go. I go, I can't do that. And they were, it was actually really embarrassing because she was like, oh, and I was like, oh, I'm so sorry, I don't have a 20 minute set. And she was. And she was like, oh, I'm so sorry. I don't have a 20 minute set. And she was. And she was. And she was. And she was. was like, baby, I just saw you perform an hour. And I was like, I don't have 20 minutes. I don't know. It's not routed. It's not, I couldn't do 20 minutes. I could do the first 20 minutes of my set, which wouldn't be that great because I love the other 40 minutes. I can't do 20 minutes. And she was like, oh, okay. And

then we got home and Courtney's like, right. So we need to write your 20 minutes set because you need to be able to do things like that. And like, you're not really a real comedian, like, if you can't hop on stage and do some jokes. So I have that coming up on February 5th. And I'm really nervous for that because there are a lot more quick jokes. And I'm just like, oh, I'm just nervous. But again, I have the cheat code because people that are coming to that, they didn't just see my poster. You could like, they'd be like, I'm just so funny.

No, I know. It's like, it's hard. Like, I'm more, I would actually like want to throw up if I was like in L.A. and the comedy store was like, do you want to hop on for a 20 minutes set? I'd be like, Jesus, no. Like, it's a bunch of boys that won't laugh at me. Like, like, you know, I'm there for the girlies. But it is what it is.

You got to just like find your groove. And it's, it's hard to not compare yourself. I also think you. need to give yourself more credit with the grind. You have absolutely did a grind to get to where you're at in your life. Thank you. Yeah. Thank you. Yeah. I can't compare myself because when I do, it's just like, it's just like brutal. And it's also really hard. Like, I compare it to a model. Let me cook. Hold on. Let me cook. I'm in. Because it must be so hard for to tell people like when you want to be a model one day. Like I think I want to be a model. People would be like, okay. Like so,

so you think you're really pretty. Like it's just that must be like a hard thing to convince someone, especially like later on in life. Like imagine me in 30 years. Like, I'm like, okay, I think I have a career shift in mind. I want to be a model. It's like, okay, like, pop, pop, queen, you're beautiful, but like, okay, go for it. It's like, I don't even know how to explain how much harder it is to have to admit to other people that you think you're really funny. Like, I know. I like want to die. Like, yeah, I'm a comedian. I'm like, in the back of my head, it's like, no, you're not. I'm also only funny sometimes. Like, to be a comedian, I feel like you have to just like always be thinking of material coming up with it, memorizing and performing it,

where I'm like, man, that one joke I said a couple months ago was pretty funny. But I also stole it from somebody's. No, that's another thing. You like can't, I don't want, like my producer Courtney, she's obsessed with comedy. She consumes a lot of comedy. I of course love comedians and watch it, but it's that like,

that fine line you have to dance because you never want your subconscious to come in and be like, you want it to all be original thoughts. Like if I tell a joke in my set and someone's like, so and so did that. I'd be like, not my problem. These came out of my brain. These came out of my brain. We actually record my writing sessions. So you like, no. Like, I don't know, I'm just so nervous when I'm like, you stole that.

I've never had that happen, so, but like, it's a slippery slope. I talk about this all the time with, like, internet, comedy, like, everybody's stealing everybody's without realizing it, sometimes on purpose, but sometimes not. And I just think that's okay if it's, like, not on purpose. You have to be really bold to steal a joke from a comedian because, like, you will get called out, and it's just, like, so stupid to do. Like, do you like Crystal Jail? Do you like Crystal Jail?

Do you remember that one? She's incredible. Okay. Okay, so tell people where they can find tickets to your tour. The tickets are on propshannon.com. That's P-R-O-B-S-H-A-N-N-O-N-P-Sh-A-N-P-Shanon. And there are lots of cities, like 25, 26, rad new ones. Yeah, it's a lot back-to-back. It's like basically, basically the whole month of March. Oh, you are going to, by the end of it, you're going to be like, I am Chris Rock.

Oh, well, well, whenever I did last year's tour, I did like one week of, runs for cities a month. And that was a lot of start and stop, start and stop, start and stop. And I was like, and this time I want it to be like an actual tour where I'm literally gone for a month. Yeah. How are you doing it? Flying? We routed it to where we fly to certain cities and then we get a rental car and drive. Yeah. You know, this is still like a low budget situation. I am not Chris Rock. So I don't have a tour bus or anything. I did look into like getting a camper, but like it just didn't make sense unless I had like a driver. And then like it all just became too much. I was like, this is just crazy. Like me and Courtney can just fly to this

cities and then get a rental car and drive. I literally put a credit card down for a tour bus one time and then COVID hit. Yeah, it's crazy. They're so expensive. I was like, okay, here we go. Put money in to make money. Let's go. Yeah, yeah. It's logistically like kind of a nightmare because you have to have a driver. Whenever I tell people like, because we, this is a pretty big tour when I show up and we're selling out like decent size places. I do always get asked like, where's the rest of your team? I'm like, it's just us. It's just me and Courtney. Like, we prefer it that way. And yes, it's more legwork for us and I don't get to be like a star

like I don't get to be like pop up when this show starts and leave what it ends like I help load in like we like Courtney honestly does way way way way more than I do but I'm there and I'm available and I'm there till the end and I help it pack up and then we go but yeah I just don't need that yet

and I honestly like really do want to make money from the tour so I'm trying to like do less Instagram ads do more actual like comedian-esque things so but like obviously Instagram ads pay the bill but for that reason like I can't you know, be blowing money on a tour bus. I feel that.

But how cool would it be? It would be so cool. I can't wait one day. I'm going to have one of those bitches. Lady gang did a tour once and they had a bus. Yeah, that's sick. And I went on it and slept on the bus the one night. But I was like, that's so cool.

But I've already gotten to experience the tour bus from Dancing with the Stars. Yeah, so true. I forgot that. So I'm like, okay, at least I've done it. But it is the idea of having a tour bus. Yeah. Tour is like legit. No, it's really, really cool.

I would love to have that one day. But this is for now, it's renting Kia Sol. or something similar. That's what the website says. Well, I am proud of you. I'm so proud of you. Thanks, guys. It's really cool.

I feel like you're on the right path. Like, you're doing what you're supposed to be doing. I want to actually die every time before I go on stage. And I actually, like, I get really, like, I don't want to do this. This room is more stress than happiness. Like, why am I doing this? Like, really, really get in my head. I'm not kidding almost every time before I go on stage.

And then I am literally so, like, a sociopath. I get off stage and I almost have tears in my eyes. I'm so filled with joy and, and, like, happiness and dopamine and I'm like, this is literally what I was supposed to be doing with my life. And then like, I repeat the cycle because I'm an ungrateful little twat. And that's what happens. And that's my life. But it's not ungrateful. I do this all the time. Like with, I wish I was just in the studio everyday writing music. But I don't do it because I'm too scared. And I like tell myself I'm not good enough. And I'm like, why would I do that? That's so stupid. But then anytime I've ever done it, I walk out. And I'm like, that fills my cup. I love it so much. Yeah. Yeah. Why do I? It's like, it's like, I don't even care if I make one penny from this. I'm like, I don't even care if I make one penny from this. I. I'm like, I don't even care if I make one penny from I want to do this for us my life. Like, so crazy. And then, like, I'm home. And I'm like, and by the way, I'm not even making money from this shit.

And I have to leave my house. Okay. Last question is, what is the craziest conspiracy you believe in right now? The craziest conspiracy that I believe in right now. If any. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Take your time.

What have I recently been like? Yeah, who knows? I have. What? Maybe you'll jog my memory. What's the one that you're, like, really into right now? That pigeons are the- Birds aren't real?

You're crazy bitch. My little brother had a bumper cigarette his car that said birds aren't real for one time, but I was like, what's the thing you're talking about? He's like another bird's just not pigeons. Oh, it's just pigeons specific. Have you ever seen a baby pigeon? That's a great point.

No. Thank you. Have you ever seen them lay an egg? Have you ever seen them? One attacked me one time in New York, it flew in your mouth. In your mouth? I'll never recover. I'll never recover. Wait, where are you?

Any time, any time, like, that happened two years ago when I lived briefly in New York. Not really. I was an apostor. When any time I get sick, still to this day, I'm like, it had to be from that pigeon. Like, I could literally, like, everyone around me could have, you know, like, the stomach bug. If I get the stomach bug, I'm like, and I bet it was that pigeon that blew in your mouth? We were walking through New York, me and Anna Grace.

I've actually told the story of my podcast. You were walking through New York and it was, Anna Grace was trying to show me this famous guy. It was Barney from. Barney and Friends? Nope. how I met your mother and she was like I don't know

that was him it was a giant purple dinosaur at Balthazar and I was like oh my god and she was showing me her phone and by the way I literally could not

have looked more fabulous but fabulous in the way that everyone's kind of looking to you like why are you dressed like that bitch because it was a Tuesday or something but you're in New York

so like who cares and I like really was dressed like up and kind of again back to like look at me no one look at me

like kind of vibes like you know I had that like tiny thing where I was like see the government had a camera in a pigeon's mouth and they said that bitch needs to take it down a notch. I was looking at her phone. I was talking and it hit me so full on in the face that I went like,

of course, ah. And then it's like wing, went in my mouth. And then I was like, and then because that happened, of course, I just went. And I was just like, and I was just spinning over and over and over. And then like everyone was just looking at me and I was like thigh high boots and like a neon dress or some stupid shit in your mouth. And everyone behind me, thank God, the people that saw it were kind of like, damn, like that pigeon just went in her mouth. Like, people were not like, what happened? Like, the people that saw it were like, that happened.

Yuck. Yuck. Go get yourself a rabies shots. I can't really get like, it was really bad. And we didn't like have any like water on us or anything. So I just like kept, I just kept spitting. I just kept spitting. and I kept trying to gather saliva to

to spit more it was so bad that is so sick I was like licking my sleeve I was like discused yeah and Anna Grace was like what the

and I was like look up the spiritual media I was just gonna say and she have a pigeon no I don't in mouth I think that flies into your mouth yeah that might have just been on being in New York I don't know

it was brutal I can't walk in New York on certain sides of the street. If I, like, my head's on a swivel for pigeons. Yeah, you know, bitches were getting punched in the face. People were getting pigeon-mouthed, like... Pigeon mouth. It was bad.

Oh, that's so sick. It was really sick. Yeah, I'm out. That was sick. A dream of a pigeon flying in your mouth is generally interpreted as a symbol of receiving important information or a message that is coming directly to you. I don't know what happened that week, but I bet it wasn't that important. I could have, it could have been an email.

It could have been a f*** email. Like, I did not need that at all. Ew. That'll actually, just hearing that story will give me nightmares. Yeah, it was brutal. I got to wrap it up because I got to go design my pool. Wow, fine. Oh, my God, how cool.

My backyard is going to be an oasis and we are going to live in it in the summer. Every day. Love. Can't wait. That's what I come to Nash before. I want my door to be revolving to all friends for pool, sauna, cold plunge, and dogs. Love. There, I'm in.

Thanks for having me. excited. I want to come to one of your shows and everybody go get your tickets and Propshannon.com. It's going to be, I was going to try to think of a funnier word for funny, but it's going to be great. It's going to be amazing. It's going to be hilarious. Can't wait. Laugh even if you don't want to. Bye. Love you. I'm Caitlin Bristow. Your session is now ending. And if I'm being honest, I wouldn't mind a rating of you. Thank you. Thank you.