Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Shawn Johnson & Andrew East | Inside Reality TV’s Special Forces: Marriage, Faith & Survival!

Episode Date: September 30, 2025

#880. Olympic gold medalist Shawn Johnson and former NFL player Andrew East are back on the pod — and they’re spilling on their boldest challenge yet: competing side by side on Special Forces. From brutal days in the Sahara desert to the heartbreak of leaving their three kids at home, Shawn and Andrew reveal how the show pushed them to their absolute limits — and what it uncovered about resilience, teamwork, and their marriage.And just when you think it can’t get more real, the conversation takes a powerful turn. Kaitlyn, Shawn, and Andrew open up about faith, doubt, and the search for hope in a world that can feel overwhelming. It’s raw, unfiltered, surprisingly hilarious, and guaranteed to leave you thinking long after the episode ends.If you’re LOVING this podcast, please follow and leave a rating and review below! PLUS, FOLLOW OUR PODCAST INSTAGRAM HERE!Thank you to our Sponsors! Check out these deals!Boulevard: For a limited time, Boulevard is offering new customers 20% off your first year subscription. Learn more at JOINBLVD.com. Figs: If you're in healthcare—or shopping for someone who is—you can get 15% off your first order at wearfigs.com with the code FIGSRX.Progressive: Visit Progressive.com to see if you could save on car insurance.EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS: (10:35) — Andrew drops 17 pounds in the desert—what they were actually eating on Special Forces(25:12) — Reality stars aren’t always what headlines say—certain cast members blew them away behind the scenes.(34:58) — Kaitlyn’s mental state hits peak chaos the last time Shawn & Andrew came over… you’ll laugh and relate(45:10) — Deep, raw, and honest: has their relationship with God ever wavered?See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This episode of Off the Vine is brought to you by Boulevard. For a limited time, Boulevard is offering new customers 20% off your first year subscription. Learn more at J-O-I-N-B-L-V-D.com. Figs. If you're in healthcare or you're shopping for someone who is, you can get 15% off your first order at wherefigs.com with the code FigsR-X. And Progressive, visit progressive.com to see if you could save on car insurance. You're listening to Off the Vine with Caitlin Bristow.

Hey, Vinoes, real quick, if you are listening right now, which obviously you are, you wouldn't be hearing this, can you hit the subscribe or follow button on whatever platform you're on? Please, that one simple thing helps more than you even realize it allows me to keep growing on this podcast and making these episodes the best they can possibly be obviously for you. That's the only favorite I'm going to ever ask, okay? It truly means the world to me.

Thank you. Now let's get into it. Hey, everybody, welcome to Off the Vine. I'm your host. Oh, my toes are showing. Caitlin Bristow. Can you see my toes? Okay. I'm just going to keep rolling. Today we have on the podcast, former gold medal Olympianist. Is that how you say it, Olympianist? Wow, I'm really butchering this. Today on the pod, we have Olympic gold medalist and my friend Sean Johnson and her husband, Andrew East. I guess we could say former NFL player for doing titles here. We talk all about their time

on special forces, what their biggest challenges were individually, and as a couple of And then the conversation just took a turn into, I think we went to church. I think they took me to church. So stay tuned for that. But enjoy my conversation with Sean and Andrew. I always love talking to them. Aw, I love that you guys rescued a sweet new baby. I know.

Let's start with that. Okay. We didn't have enough chaos. Yeah, I was like, so three kids and a dog and you're like, what else can we do? Why not another? Well, you probably went on special forces and you're like, we can do anything. Let's get a dog. Was it right before?

Was it after? Right before. I was right before. Right before we left. Oh, my gosh. Adopted a dog and was like, see you in a couple weeks. Honestly, though, so here's the timeline of how this happened.

Okay. We have a 13-year-old golden retriever. Love Nash. He's the sweetest. We got him like two months into dating. Yeah. Trying to pick them up. Oh, really?

His first night, he stayed with us, was in my dorm room at Vanderbilt. Yeah. And anyway, now we got three kids and Nash is getting older. Yeah. And we're like, we really want Nash's demeanor to rub off on another dog. So maybe we start thinking about having a second dog. Yeah.

And so it was like 8 o'clock on a Wednesday, Sean and I had this conversation. By 10 o'clock, she said, I think I found a dog. And then by noon, the dog was home with us. Really? But from the very first time he was in our home, it was like he had always been there. Yeah. He was so comfortable. Like even like the rescue things people talk about with dogs, we are fully prepared for.

Like we had the trainers in place. We like had everything. Yeah. And he was just like, I'm here. and this is my house and these are my babies and this is my big brother Nash like oh i love that never had anxiety yeah because they say like well because it helps that you're you rescued at a really young age like still kind of a baby yeah so he didn't have all the trauma but that's i was so scared with ramen because he was my first rescue yeah and he was probably three when i got him and he was

like found in a ditch and was like living on the streets with like a broken pelvis and just like just It's an absolute gangster. And they were like, don't expect love at first sniff. Like, yeah. And he got out of that crate at the airport and just like went into my arms. And then he just like, yeah, it was like he'd always been in my life. And I was like, oh, God. And then I got a second and I was like, okay, this one I'm prepared for.

Same thing. I was like, I love you. They're the best. The gold is the absolute best. And I love, yeah. Well, Nash is nice and healthy though. He is doing great. Yeah.

There's no gray. There's no. He doesn't have gray. It's so weird. It's so weird. I think because he's red, maybe red, but I've seen reds that have gray, but he just started getting some of those, like, fatty deposits. Yeah.

It's the only thing I've noticed where I'm like, but no, he's still, he gets the zoomies. He's doing great. I love that. Thriving. That gives me all the hope because I know. I'm just like, you know, you get it. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

It's been so fun, though, because Nash was very much our dog. Yeah. But Oakley is the kid's dog. Yeah. And they just play with that dog. And Golden's are just so. good with kids. They are.

And they're so protective and loyal and sweet and I could I could do this whole podcast on a dog. Just on dogs. Well, anyways, congratulations on your new baby. Thanks. Okay. Sean and I were talking before you came in

and she was like, you got to do special forces. You have to. Always the one show that I say I could never do. No, it's the opposite. Like when you watch this season, you'll understand why I'm saying this. Yes, you have to have like a physical aspect to yourself, but you do, you work out.

But it's all mental. Like, if you can just not quit, you can get through the show you're not and I know that like your demeanor you would thrive on that show you would be terrified and you would be put in situations that would be really uncomfortable but you would do so well on the show

what in your life have you done and haven't dominated exactly nothing exactly but I'm like that I think maybe that's a fear too where I would look like an idiot if I didn't dominate because I'm so competitive that I'm like what if I looked

you wouldn't because you're so humbled within like seconds of starting the show that like it's not like someone looks good and someone doesn't you're all looking like crap i actually love that part of the show is that you just are like stripped down raw as fuk just like mud on your face yeah bleeding just like no makeup getting yelled at i see the previews every time and i'm like i get that they can edit it for dramatic effect but that is not edited it's worse than what they show that's what they somebody else said. I'm like, that scares the shit out of me. I really don't like being yelled at and I really don't. I can swim, but like going under in a plane, like just from the previews

I've had nightmares. I will say same, but there is an aspect too of. Does it conquer your fears? Yes. Okay. But like you go through like psych tests and stuff and they find every single person's like weakness and they are specialized. Like the guys who run it, they're specialized and like finding people's weaknesses. Not a single person will go through that show without like facing their worst fear. First of all, what were you thinking when you signed up? Were you like, oh, this will be like, I'll go in and see what happens? Like what was the mindset? What was the conversation like between the two of you? Well, first of all, it's interesting. You said, do you conquer your fears? Yeah. I don't know. My palms are sweating now just thinking about the show.

Really? I don't feel like I'm like fearless now. Yeah. Yeah. It's more just, it's almost like right sizing them. Yeah. It's like, oh, okay. I thought it was way more dramatic. dramatically terrifying that it actually was and I'm still scared of it like heights still get me and like claustrophobia that like being in a little tunnel gets me but but you're like I think I could bear more than I thought I could previously so yeah I guess so I feel like Jesse and Eric were just on and I feel like they were saying kind of like you know how you're just in a situation you're like I don't have any other choice to just do this and you just do it and you don't know how you're doing it but you do it. That's the whole, going in a hole with, like, what happens when you're stuck and

you're like, what if you're like, I need out now? Do they come save you? As best as they can. What? What do you mean? Like they, like, they're not yelling at you to stay in there? They were shown on like a teaser where one of the girls, she actually blacked out in the water doing the drowning simulation thing. Oh, night night. And so she went night, but like they had rescue swimmers and some of the special forces actually had to dive in and rescue her. And she was like they were doing compressions like they had to rescue her but they rescued her you know but it's like yeah you're not selling me and like the tunnels there was one person who had a full on panic attack and had to get rescued and they had to disassemble you know the the structure oh my gosh so and then

in that case was that them still going as far as they could or did they get punished that with that particular person that was they tapped out they said I'm done I'm I am no longer doing more of this of the show. Oh, okay. Yeah. When does this air again? It starts on this Thursday. Oh, I can't wait to watch.

Come on over. Are you having a watch party? I mean, like, jammies and wine. Yeah. Not like party party. Yeah. That's what I want. Great, great.

Jammies and wine is like a memoir by Caitlin Bristow. Yeah. So you said why we did it. Yeah. We're crazy people. We love this kind of stuff. We jump out of planes. We are with the military a lot.

We work with the military a lot. we've seen a lot of aspects of it so we would pay to do something like this there were a lot of aspects that we had to figure out as far as like we had to leave our babies and that was my biggest fear

so I like a crazy person sat down with a child psychiatrist here in Nashville and just kind of talked through all the scenarios of like is this good for my babies will this scar them you know whatever

and we had an army of people come in to take care of them and we just said it would be a good test of our marriage and like putting us in a new, uncompy situation to see how we can grow. And it was. It was very uncomfy.

Well, I heard, I think, I don't know if it was on a preview or on an interview or something you guys were talking about just how competitive you both are and that you win everything. And just like, what was that dynamic in the show? Like, did your competitive sides come out to one another or did you work more as a team? Like, what was it? So they separated us immediately. It's an individual show. And multiple times a day, they're rearranging teams.

Yeah, multiple times a day they're rearranging teams. So, like, if you do six challenges a day, the first challenge might be duos, the second challenge might be teams of eight, the third challenge might be individuals. Like, you're constantly changing the relational dynamics. So, like, we were always individuals. Yeah. And my recommendation would be to not bet against Sean. Okay.

Yeah. Oh, you know. I'm taking her every time. Yeah. Even when I'm competing against her, you know. But it's funny because in football, that competition, everyone always makes comparisons and analogies to, like, the military and battle. Yeah.

We're going into battle, boys. And then, like, you know, this was the closest thing I'll probably ever get to battle, quote, quote, and it's such a different game. Like, so in football, just to set the scene, we would have warm-ups and you're spending 15, 20 minutes, prep it, like rolling out your muscles, kind of getting up to speed, yeah, increasing your heart rates, then you're ready. In this situation, you know, like, they will just beat on the windows of the car and it's like you're in a full-on sprint with no warm-up, no idea where you're going, no idea what's happening, no idea what you're supposed to do. And it's like, my body just got destroyed because there's no... You're prepped. Mentally or physically. Yeah, yeah.

You're like, you have everything on the sidelines. You want a little massage. Yeah, 100%. They're like, flame and yawn for dinner. They got electrolytes. On this, it's like, I lost 17 pounds in just a short little window of time. 17 pounds? Well, because you're in the Saharan heat.

They don't really, you don't get a lot of food. It wrecked me. My body did not respond well. So I thought I was going to have to tap out day one. But I feel like it's one of those things where the first day you're like, how the hell? do I do this and then on day five you're like like a different human but what do you mean they don't like what kind of food are you eating you live in barracks so it's like what you would be fed

probably you know out in carrot soup and oatmeal yeah carrot soup and oatmeal is it at least protein oatmeal no no oh but like it it was basic it was like in the morning you would have they would have some sort of plain stale bread boiled eggs just like water and oats and like powder coffee No wine, I'm assuming. No wine, no alcohol. And then dinners, it was like blended up carrots and boiled chicken. Yeah, that would, wow, they really test you. I was saying to Jesse and Eric, I'm like, I don't even want to know what that contract looks like.

You don't really read it. You just sign it. Our lawyer was like, I highly recommend you don't sign this. They can waterboard you. They can like, and our lawyer was like, I have to legally tell you. I don't advise you to sign this. I don't advise you. I'm scared for your life.

Yeah. Was one of you more into it than the other, like had to talk each other into it? I think it kind of ebbed and flow. It did. Like, Sean had been asked to be on it in previous seasons. Yeah. And she was not that excited. We had friends on it previously.

They were like, they make you pooping a hole in the ground. We were like, ah, no way. It's reality TV. Yeah. Surely you're staying in a hotel. Right. Yeah, totally. But then I think I was pumped on like the beginning of day one.

And I wasn't because I didn't know how to leave the kids. Yeah. Yeah, I was going to say was the hardest part of all of it just leaving the kids. Yeah. Yeah. The longest we've ever left the kids

is like three. Our max is like three nights if we go on a vacation or something. Oh, okay. And so this, we were gone in a long time. Well, because you probably had a, where did it film?

Morocco. Oh. Africa. Oh. You've been to Morocco? No. It was in the Sahara Desert. I did not know it was there.

Yeah. I thought it was like. So we were in like a 120 degree. Holy. Yeah. Environment. Okay. What was.

the hardest part besides leaving your kids? Like, what was the hardest mental, physical challenge? I didn't know I was claustrophobic until I was in the middle of claustrophobia. And I was like, get me out. It was, they show it on the trailer where you're crawling through those tunnels. And I remember you're racing to like get to this point. And they just start pointing at like this hole that you're supposed to get in. And my brain went white. Like it was just kind of like do it. But I remember I got through that exercise and we weren't together we were separated and i and when i like reunited with andrew i had a full on panic attack it was like delayed but like yeah i couldn't breathe just started hysterically bawling we were both crying just like mud on our face tears cut through it it's like

and are they letting you have that moment or are they in your face yelling no they were they were letting us i i think every single person was having a bawling hysteric panic attack at that moment Randall Cobb was back there bawling. Yeah. What? I wonder if they ever feel like, who are the sergeants or what are they called? D.S. D.S.

D.S. What does that stand for? I think directing sergeants. Okay. That's just my hot take. I'm just making sure that. But they, do you think they ever feel bad? Yes and no.

Like we've gotten to know them well after the fact. And there are times where like DSQ has said, like I'm sorry I had to like rip you new one in that moment, but I had to test you to see if I could get under your skin. Yeah. He said that to you multiple times because you're literally a golden retriever out there. Nothing like upsets you and at one point they lit you up.

Oh no! And I was like I was appalled. For what? Nothing. Oh. Just as he could get under his skin. And? I don't think they got into. It didn't work. No, no. You were stone cold. It bothered everyone else though. Like what kind of stuff do they say to you to get under your skin?

Oh, like, I mean, a lot curse words that I'll spare the listeners but um it's like you let team down yeah are underperforming your i mean honestly the whole time they're kind of just poking around like hey how can i is there any weak spots or blind spots yeah but yelling to me that's fascinating for you too like i feel like as an athlete every time someone raises your voice it's like coaches here i got to snap to it i'm doing something wrong it's like yeah i'm still sweating think yeah so i'm sure running a self-care business can feel like a million things at once, booking clients, handling payments, sending reminders, marketing, and somehow keeping everything organized.

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Like, why do they want to find your weak spots and then, like, kick you while you're down? Is it to show you how strong you are, or why is that? It was such a fascinating experience because, well, to their credit, you said if it's someone you care about and they yell at you, I think when it's someone, what I understood and how my perspective shifted on the show is these guys communicate from the front end, like, hey, we care about you. We want to make you stronger and show you can do more than you thought you could. Yeah. And they communicated at the very front end. And then all of a sudden they like are yelling at you. And you kind of understand these people care about me too. And they're yelling at me because I am weak in this area. And so, like, there was different points of revelation for everybody over the show. Like, Brianna La Paglia, had this huge turning point. I'm like, who you mean chicken fried?

Chicken fry. She had this huge turning point where she got pulled aside and, like, ripped because they were like, you're not physically strong enough. And you have to put in time to be physically strong. And they're, like, yelling at her. Yeah. I think she cried. But, like, then it was like this point of, all right, do I listen to this challenge?

And do I step up and improve myself? Or do I, like, fold and just power? you know and she to her credit stepped up but in different ways they're like they're like hey Andrew are you being a good teammate right now are you being selfish and it feels very personal you know but really if you see through all the imperfections of how the message is being communicated you're like dang that's actually a good question maybe I should be a better teammate or you know whatever that looks like for you well and the show gets edited down to such a compressed you know one hour but what you don't see is they're investing so much time into each individual person and not production like

literally the sergeants and they'll pull you aside for interviews and ask you questions and they are all instructors as well in the the elite one percent of their field they can read all of us so easily and they learn like what makes us tick and they're actually trying to make us better yeah yeah I do believe that I feel like that's like what did you gain from the show like coming out of it what are you like grateful for being alive um yeah I don't know for me They, a big issue that they kept bringing up with me is like when I, Andrew had never seen this for, but when I go into competition mode, if I'm like going reverting back into gymnastics, I go very cold. Like no emotion. I don't feel anything.

I don't think anything. I don't think anything. I just like turn off. Yeah. And it was terrifying. Oh my God. It was crazy. So even like the month before we go on the show, she's training for this thing.

And like the whole dynamics around our house were so different. It was like, holy. I'm talking to, you know, Brigadier General Sean here. it was wild and I'm like I see the intensity that she brought to the training and to the show which was unmatched by anybody else there I believe that I was like sometimes I think why was she so much so much more successful than I was in athletics and it's like oh yeah duh there it's like I never had anything like that I'm here for a good time for the vibe Sean is like I will cut your throat yeah I will kill me okay no that is I do you go like that when you are in childbirth

Yeah. Yeah. I went silent. Yeah, you would yell at me. You would yell at me in China. Well, you were goofing off. Anyways. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

But that was one thing that they picked up on really quickly and they hated it. Oh. They were like, you go void. Because you can disassociate and they're like, that's. And they're like, you go void of all emotion. I don't know who you are. I don't know if I can trust you. I don't know like your emotions.

I don't know what you're thinking. And they just like keep diving deeper. And I was like, well, in gymnastics, I was literally taught that like emotion is weakness. Yeah. And they're like in our field. of like work that's how we trust each other so like if you can't trust your comrade and like know them you can't like understand them better but then they yell at you for showing emotion yeah with each individual person though so like mine was they were pissed because I wouldn't show anything

so they're like they weren't understanding me got it so like the person next to me might have been showing too emotion they're like get yourself together oh so did that give you like something to take into the real life made me really confused I was like, I don't know, maybe I need to show more emotion. Do you show emotion in your, like, real life? Yeah. Okay. I've worked really hard, too, though.

You have. So, yeah, I've worked really hard to be like a normal human being in life and not tap into that person. So it was weird being thrown into that world trying to balance, like, everything that I've worked towards and like the old person. Yeah, you like are unlearning your strengths as like an athlete. Yeah. That's interesting.

Huh. What about you? What did you take away from it? So many things. Like, one, you know, here we are in this fancy, I mean, in the United States where we have all of the luxuries and Uber eats and cars and everything. And you're like, oh, okay, well, if I just need to sleep on a cot or eat carrot soup and oatmeal, it's like, it's refreshing to kind of backtrack and be like, oh, yeah, I can do, I can do well in any context and situation. That's a good point. But I also think, like, my understanding of love between Sean and I was renewed, I think,

in the sense that there were moments where I think we had a couple moments where it was like the coddling, comforting love, you know? Like the tunnels? Yeah, yeah, where it was like we just need to like support each other in that traditional sense. But then there was also other types of love and support where it was like, she was looking at me terrified and I was looking at her and it was like just this moment of, hey, you can freaking step up and do this thing. You just got to stick with it and I'll meet you on the other side. Yeah. So it was kind of like not tough love, but like, championing. Like pushing. Yeah.

Yeah. I don't know. So that was really good for us, I think. I would also say like being able to go through it, I don't know if there was much to learn individually. I feel like I've gone through so many therapies and whatever, but I've learned so much. But being able to watch your spouse like from afar in that situation. Yeah. And to see how great of a team player you were and how supportive and how, like, everything, that was really cool for, like, our marriage. Yeah.

I feel like you two always do things to not challenge your marriage, but, like, to see what you're made of in so many different ways to, like, grow together. I feel like you guys do a really good job of that. Like, you're always, like, making yourselves uncomfortable to grow. Yes. I will say that was a huge conversation we had multiple times of the ebbing and flowing. of like should we do this show together is our marriage is our priority in life like it's our number one thing and we are just like it has to come out better than it was it cannot like if it's

if any if there's any chance of this hurting our marriage it is not worth it yeah and we just couldn't see that outcome yeah also reality TV is crazy that is a wild west I got I don't know how have you never was that your first reality first one yours too no what did you what have you Oh, yeah, do it, do it, do it. Honestly, that was, that was, there was a lot of hard parts, but from like a personal challenge of discomfort, it was like, first of all, you're Mike 24-7. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So sometimes you just want to go back and talk trash about somebody to each other.

It's like you can't, it was just fascinating, the, the constant subconscious stress you had. Yeah. And then also, I don't think I've ever heard you talk trash about anybody in your life. Like golden retriever. Yeah. But, you know, you really have to be hyper sensitive to what you're saying, which is just, I don't think. just an interesting experience. Imagine being in the control room watching this,

just eating your freaking like cheese it's and being like, this guy's got to go shit in a hole, take your headphones off. Like, because I've seen a control room a couple times now from Bachelor World and the new show that we did on Hulu. And I'm like, they don't miss a beat. No.

Like they're watching. And I'm like, oh my gosh. And then I started reliving all the things that I did, not knowing if I was like, I'm like, nobody's probably watching this. I'm like, everybody's watching everything. I mean, they had people, they had night shift control room where like they were literally filming, watching, listening as we were sleeping.

Yeah. Did you guys, like, are you all sleeping in the same room? Yes. God, do you just like get into your bed after that, your own bed and come back home and just like enjoy all the luxuries, little luxuries of life? Yes. But it is so interesting with at least us, you adapt so quickly. Yeah.

To where like, just getting back to the barracks and laying in your cot felt luxurious. Yeah, I bet. Because you weren't trying to hike a mountain with a hundred pounds on your back. Did chicken fry do well? Or you probably can't say. I just am like thrown off by that casting. It's because I just like know her a little bit. She's a beast.

So this is interesting. They announced a cast and everybody online had opinions. Yeah, of course. And it was so fascinating. One, because you go onto this show and I don't watch reality TV. I don't know the modeling scene. I don't know who the actors or whatever. And so I'm meeting all these people.

for the first time and I'm judging them based off how they are in this context. Yeah. And then you get done, you go back, you Google the people, you see their Instagram pages, see, you know, whatever. Yeah, and their personal brands and how they portray themselves. Right. But what I learned was like, every, everyone has redemptive qualities, despite whatever their background is, like they've made mistakes, I've made mistakes. Some are more public than others. Yeah. But it's just fascinating to see how the world defines people by one thing, you know what I'm saying? And it's extremely unforgiving.

But it was really refreshing for us to like build. We're not going to be lifelong friends with all these people. But like, you know, you see a different side of them to their credit. Like, they can be really beautiful. And to the show's credit, we got to see these people at their absolute worst. Yeah. Yeah. Because they're being screamed at, beat down.

They're tired. They're scared. They're vulnerable. And literally. And so being able to. to truly get to know these people at like their foundational level yeah it makes you come back into reality and see headlines and stuff and understand it differently almost as like more mistakes rather than like life defining moments are you thinking of someone specific no oh are you

no there's like there's so many everyone has opinions on everyone on that cast and even like in the interviews they're asking us you know how do you feel about the controversy's been involved it's like really Have I been involved in controversies? I'm like really trying to think I don't know the controversy. Yeah. I don't. What is it? I'm not sure.

For us? For us? But people have opinions of you and us online. Yeah. Oh. No, but what was the controversy like who is somebody that struggled with headlines on the show? Oh. We're not.

We can't say names. I'll tell you. What? There are several. Many. Well, I'll just Google. But I did. Well, I was like, let's debunk them.

I don't know. Yeah. Okay. Moving on. Well, I'm trying to think of any. Bad headlines that I've seen, but that's another thing that I need to remember is like when there's a bad headline about me, probably nobody even notices and everybody moves on. And I like stir in it and I'm like, yeah, that's not true. But like the headlines are so stupid and it's always just like same headline different face. I'll give you one example. I'll give you one example. Johnny Mansell. Okay. Johnny Mansell. Okay. Johnny Mansell. Okay. Johnny Manz. Okay. Johnny Manzell. Okay.

Has his documentary out. People have so many opinions of, like, his career. He is a phenomenal human being. Who's this? Johnny Manzell. Come on. Come on, Caitlin. Figure skater?

Oh, my gosh. Not Johnny Weir. Oh, that's what I mean. Johnny football. Oh, different vibe for sure. Football? Football. I'm Canadian.

One of the greatest, the greatest collegiate football player. I know the name. Okay. Do you know the Heisman trophy? No. Oh, my gosh. It's okay. It's okay.

Hey, it's okay. Okay. I'm so sorry. He had a reputation visibly for like being a party boy and having hardcore and like doing all this stuff. But like amazing human being. Yeah. Someone I want on my team.

Okay. Yeah. Team player, a good guy. Comes to our house to play with our kids. Sweet. Amazing human. Yeah. And he might, you know.

And people just have their, because everybody sees somebody as I always say this one dimensional. Yeah. When you're a personality on, you know, either Instagram or TV or whatever your platform is, everyone just sees you as, well, I know them because of this. Like the amount of DMs I get where I'm like, oh, do you really think that's all I am? Yeah. That's crazy. Yeah. I always ask people what is like one thing that you packed that you were grateful for that you couldn't live without. We don't want you to take anything on this show. I don't know. We had stricter people telling us what we could pack than some other people. I don't know how they got away with it. But I literally, like, we literally couldn't take anything. Yeah. We took

deodorant and SPF. Oh yeah. That's what I would do. Yeah. There you go. I brought a toothbrush and toothpaste. That's it. Yeah. Wow. And then they put you in the clothes and stuff too. Yeah. And they take everything from you. Yeah. Yeah. It's crazy. Like what did it day one? Is it all on camera when they're like stripping you of everything and take, okay. Did Jesse tell you? What? Oh. Did she not tell you that she was literally out her in case it doesn't make air. You can't out her. But I was like,

like, Jesse. This is really way TMI information, but like, you only get two pairs of underwear and two bras to take. You're kidding. And I always work out in like songs. Yeah. So I was like, I really want this because if we're going to be working out. But then last second, I changed it to like granny panties. Yeah. Just in case. Yeah. And that's literally what I wore around the whole barracks the whole time. Because it's, it was 120 degrees. Yeah. That's so wild to me. So you. Or walking around, like, what are the barracks? That's where you're sleeping? Like, yeah, like the big tent that has all the cots in it. And there's no AC.

We had AC in the sleeping tent, but it was hot. That is so crazy. What if women are on their periods? Some were. That would have, that's just a curse. Like, could you imagine dealing with all that and I'd be like, oh, and here's some cramps and you have to change your tampon in this hole. Dang. Yeah.

Caitlin, so there was no, you know, porta potter potters are bad enough. If you go in there. I can't do it. I gag. Oh, this is so much worse. It's tough. So this was a 55-gallon, like, metal, metal container that was just saw it off. So it was, like, three feet deep.

But there was no port-a-potty fluid in there. So, like, you're seeing everything. And there's no stall doors. You literally have a piece of wood that goes knees to nips. And so anyone who's on the bathroom. And you're like, hey. So if you're having, like, explosive diarrhea, you're making eye contact with people. Oh, yeah.

And then you as a recruit are clean. cleaning it up like so there's no no oh yeah yeah yeah there's one person there's one person on toilet duty and so you're going bucket to bucket like and you all have to rotate and i'm gagging right now you're like i never got that so to your point there was several people on on there's their time of the month and you're like wow wow wow no welcome to our world babe yeah yeah that's crazy you know what I am TMI but I often think that I'm like I wish a guy could see what's coming out of here so they could just feel a little sympathy for us with that sounds like he did yeah and credit to you guys thanks yeah yeah the worst part of it is like if we were out on a challenge on the side of a mountain yeah you can't there's not even the bucket so what did you do you would just have to go poop on the side of a mountain I think I'd prefer that well have you pooped on the side of a mountain before I will say I've pooped in the woods when I was camping I have to pee so bad and we were literally on the side of a mountain this is day one so this is like intro to the world of this show and I was about to my pants and we were doing the helicopter

challenge and so I was like I have to go pee and they're like okay you just go find a spot so I went to this like on the side where people can't like see you yeah drop my pants yeah to my ankles yeah and what flies directly over me the helicopter but the helicopter with all the DS hanging out of it low enough to like make eye contact no great great great I guys that's when you two are a little more reserved with me i'd be like what up yeah just taking a quick bait i'm sure you guys know the brand figs i've talked about it quite a few times on the podcast and all the girls that work at indy where i go to for botox and all things skin i feel like they all love them too they obviously work at a skin care clinic and on their feet all day constantly moving and i feel like

they never complain about being uncomfortable and they all swear by fig scrubs i remember the first time i showed up and saw them in these cute sets. Everyone had a different color on. They were just super tailored, sleek, functional. And I was like, those are scrubs. And remember that video I did for Instagram when I was doing a rebrand of my podcast room? I wore figs.

I wore cats pink fig scrubs. And I was like, wait, they are so comfortable. If you're in healthcare, you probably already know about figs because I feel like everyone does. And if you don't, let me just say that they're made for the real MVPs. They are lightweight, they're breathable, stretchy, and antimicrobial. They're designed to keep up with long shifts, back-to-back patients, and everything in between. And the fit is just so good.

I mean, I told you I wore them. They're not those stiff, boxy scrubs that you see on, like, Gray's Anatomy from years and years ago in the past. They come in super cute styles and colors with pockets and zippers and details that actually make sense for your day. So whether you're in the ER at the clinic or just grabbing a coffee post-shift, do it in Figs. Right now, if you go to wearfigs.com and use code FigsRX, you can get 15% off your first order. That's where figs.com promo code FigsRX. This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Do you ever think about switching insurance companies just to see if you could save some cash?

You should. Progressive makes it really easy, you guys. You just drop in some details about yourself and then see if you are eligible to save money when you bundle your home and auto policies. And the process only takes literally minutes. It could mean hundreds more in your pocket. So visit progressive.com after this episode and see if you could save. progressive casualty insurance company and affiliates potential savings will vary not available in all states Kaylin how that are you this is always our favorite conversation to have is with you me yeah we don't

see enough of you I know and we live so close literally I still think about I come do Bible study across the street every week I know I actually should join on one of those I'm really really getting into Jesus guys wow welcome to the great song Okay, last time we talked to you, you were... Oh, yeah, let's talk about this. Do you remember this? She had a bucket of pee on her, Ben. Wait, wait.

When we're supposed to share that? No, it wasn't pee. It wasn't pee. It was tears? It was my bath water. Oh, that's right. Yeah, that's right. I don't know what's weird.

Oh, the toxins coming out of you. I was in such a weird place the last time. We did my podcast. First of all, I was at my old house. Was I single? Yes. Yes. I was single.

I was like going through a weird time where I was trying to just like cleanse. myself and I was on this I've always been on a spiritual like journey and I went to this woman in LA so she was the same woman that predicted I would win dancing with the stars and she had no idea that I was on dancing with the stars or that I was anyone and she was like something really big is going to happen for you in November and this was in September and she was like I feel like it's going to be on TV and I was like the mirror ball is to be one in November okay okay and she was like a lady on the side of the street like she really didn't know who I was and she told me that I was in the wrong relationship, which I already knew in my head, but I was like,

damn it. And so when I was coming out of the relationship, I was doing all the spiritual woo-woo, and she was like, look, here's what you're going to do. You're going to pay me $800 first. And then, and I was like, take my money. And then she was like, you're going to take your bath water. I'm running home right now. I was like, oh, God, Caitlin.

And put it in a water bottle and put it under your bed. Yeah. And I had to use the soap from freaking. I don't, Jerusalem and go clockwise from my heart chakra down or up, I can't remember. And, but I'm telling you, I felt great after. Really? Yeah, sure. Wow.

Placebo, maybe. I don't know. Yeah. But then, so I was just in Rome at the Vatican. And I was so, like, something awoke in me when I was in Rome. And I literally came back and I said to Kat, I was like, can we find a church that is like, does the singing and, like, has a good message and all this stuff. And I'm like, I listen to gospel music every morning now.

Really? Yes. I'm so into it. I love it. Why are you into it? It brings something up in my soul and it just fires me up and I start my day every day with it. And I like in the best mood and like I feel electricity in my body. Wow.

Yeah. I love it. I don't know. I don't know. Yeah. I'm a spiritual person and that made me just crack open a little bit into like a whole. other world of spirituality where I was like, oh, this is so, um, like historical too. And it was just really cool. I was in the same room as the Pope at one point. What? Yes. Like he was there?

Yeah. I felt like he could smell my sins. You just start confessing. Oh, shit. He's like, I'm in the middle of something. I'm like, oh, please pray for me. I'm like, no, it's while you had it. Yeah, it was crazy. But it was just such a like, I've never experienced anything like that. And like to be there at the Vatican and I don't know, everything was just like, what? happening in my body that's interesting because i'm curious what you currently want that you don't yet have i got you got it all but i live in fear i live in a lot of fear of the world and what's happening and what's going to happen and like what if i don't have this and what if i bring a kid into the world and it's not the right time and i i live in fear it cripples me yeah interesting not not for

other things like yeah i live in fear and i go do it scared anyways and i do it it's it's more of like the big pictures yeah the big pictures and i really feel like i'm missing community in my life dang yeah i'm like because i'm such a hyper independent to myself like introvert lately and i'm like okay i go i travel all the time i do something and i come home and i sit at home with my dogs and that's my happy place but i realize that it's actually really lonely and i just like have one really good friend cat and i like i'll spend my time there but i'm like i'm craving community that's what i felt at the vatican too i was like this energy is electric Wow. Can I go on a riff real quick?

Please. So don't, let's not confuse. You're going to get Andrew's philosophical side. I love. There's a lot of good side effects of faith. Yeah. But let's not equate the two. Let's not equate like the benefits of community and going to church or of finding inner peace.

Like that's not the purpose of believing in a God, whatever, choose your God. I would say it's like you have the main thing, which is let's just shorten it to bless God. And in doing so, you unlock all of the other fruits that I would. call a side effects. But it's, it is fascinating because there are so many, to your point. Beneficial side effects that come from the church. Yeah. I think I have a hard time thinking of what other people think God is. And I feel like I'm like, like people online will even be like, you're wrong. You actually just need Jesus. And I'm like, but why can't my God be like a power or an energy? Why does he have to be an old white man? I mean, it's kind of old white man. Interesting.

there's a book called God has a name that's actually really phenomenal book really and it talks about how it's kind of a new age thing to say I'm defining who God is as opposed to these ancient texts that tell you who God is and so the Christian God is there's adverse ex and Exodus that talks about how he is forgiving and good and also righteous from generation to generation so it's like but the Bible says God is love too which is honestly game-changing in all the senses of the word. But I feel like we've had multiple people I'll bring it all together shortly, but I'm going to riff a little longer. It's like in our business, it's fascinating because you can make mistakes publicly that to your point,

you think the whole world knows the mistake that you made. You have a headline out and like, you're going to roll into that next interaction you have or the next person you meet thinking that they already know the thing, where I think it's a way more refreshing mindset to one not think about yourself as much you know what I'm saying do you have again this another fruit of faith but do you have like a greater purpose where it's like dang all right well

I am not rolling into this relationship thinking I want this person to think highly of me it's more like no I'm here to honor and respect other people to love them and it kind of changes your subtle motivations but also to your point about like I'm a big quiet person I'm I really am an introvert I enjoy my peace and quiet, but you don't really get that if you have relationships. You know what I'm saying? And so do you want, the most unshakable inner peace you can have is when it's like deep rooted, can't be moved by someone saying something mean to you or someone who wrongs you. It's like, no, you're still in relationships, which I would say is the deepest, best part

of life. But inevitably, in relationships, probably in this conversation, I've said something that could rub you wrong or whatever. if you're with someone for 10 years, I'm definitely going to say something that accidentally offends you. Right. Or maybe intentionally offends you. And it's like, do you have the inner identity piece, self-understanding, self-confidence,

yada, yada that makes it like so much more free to navigate through relationships in a way that like doesn't affect you or disturb that. You know what I'm saying? Yes. I do because my nervous system gets rocked even like thinking about situations. and I, like, I'm working so hard to try and find the inner peace and, like, stability of, like, the greater purpose of what actually matters. We've taken such a turn, and I love it.

I love it. This is everything we learned from special forces. Andrew was raised very, like, deep into Christian faith, like, knew every verse of the Bible and, like, they would recite it. And, like, I was not raised that way. I was raised to know God as almost like an inner conscience. Yeah. Like, something to follow good versus evil to assert.

extent. And so my journey has come a long way and learning more and more about it. And I remember when we went to marriage counseling, I googled marriage counselors, just trying to find like, what's the best. He googled Christian counselors. We ended up going to a Christian counselor. It was called Rock House. And it rocked my world because every time I would do a two-hour session with this lady and he would do a two-hour session with a guy. But for two hours, I would write down that week everything that wronged me that made me mad that made me frustrated and we would go back through things in my past and my history and people who made me you know the way that I am and whatever and every single thing that happened instead of her giving me like an opinion as to how I should deal with it

she would actually bring out biblical text which specifically told you how to deal with like a very specific incident so you were offended you were lied to you were like whatever it was, we would go back and it would give you the exact context of how to deal with it. And I thought it was the most fascinating thing for me to learn all the wisdom that was like involved. That is interesting. Not to be a skeptical or a skeptic to someone's opinion because I'm the kind that would sit here. And if she, my counselor was trying to give me an opinionated, like opinionated advice, I would be like, that sounds great. But how do you know that's going to work? And I'm always a skeptic.

Yeah. And it's almost like when she would bring out biblical text, it was so historical that I was like, oh, that's actually interesting. Yeah. And that's what got me like, hooked. Yeah. That's interesting. Because I wouldn't even know where to start with that.

I didn't either. Okay. I'll send you the book she sent me. Yes. Like, it's like a workbook. Okay. And it literally goes through like, have you ever felt, has someone ever lied to you? And then it would give like a context to it.

Yeah. I need some, I need, because that would be validating too to be like, okay, this happens in life. Yeah. How would you like? Because I'm like, it's taking up so much energy and, like, again, like, every year gets better. But I'm like, what is wrong with me that I hang on to this this much? And I want, like, justice. I'm such a person that wants justice.

And it's like, why? So read about justice in the Bible. Not because of God, but like, because of the message. The message and injustice has been happening since the beginning of time. Right. And they've been writing about it since the beginning of time. And there might, there is like historical context as to maybe what's the best way to handle it? because maybe we're not handling it the best way right now.

Can I ask a really deep question? Please. Has, like, with how scary the world is or things happening, like, do you, have you, has your relationship with God ever, like, wavered? Like, have you ever been, like, what you're doing up there with all this down here? I have. Okay. I am, like I said, a skeptic.

Yeah. Of trying to understand it. I felt like for a long time, I felt like since I couldn't understand truly who God was. or like couldn't paint a picture and I don't know what heaven looks like and that doesn't make sense to me. Yeah. And there'd be injustices in the world and like all these things happening. I found myself at a place where I was either like, there's just no way this can be true.

And I can either go that direction or I can try to figure it out some more. And I felt really, really lost in life when that happened. And I just kept thinking it would be so much easier to go down the path of it doesn't make sense. I don't think I'll ever make sense of it. I think I'll always have fears that maybe I'm. I fall asleep one night and I don't wake up and I'm just left in a coffin somewhere and that haunts me. But that felt a lot scarier than going down the curious route of maybe I should just start

asking more questions and seeing if I can find more answers. And when I went down that path, this overwhelming sense, energy, vibe, whatever of peace kept building with everything that I learned that I just got hooked by it. And there are still answers that I will never have. I don't know what it looks like. I don't know if it is a thing. the end of the day we all have questions about that but I do know this path feels so much better that makes a lot of sense to me actually and I think like I just hear like when there's like a

shooting at a school or something I'm like there can't be a god that's like in control of this because otherwise that wouldn't happen like how do you justify that or you don't but I think there's just a lot of evil in the world yeah I think God is God and God is love and God is perfect and I don't think God controls evil okay I think we all have free will Yeah, this is where Andrew's, Andrew's better at this than I am. But I think the free will brings in evil. Yeah. And if someone doesn't know God, they can do horrible things.

Yeah, yeah. But you still have to pray that they become good. Yeah. And that it's used for good. Well, that's another, my girlfriend's dad said to her, like, because I was always, I always have this fear of bringing kids into the world, even though it's like what I want. And she was like, her dad said to her, if we don't bring good people into the world, like, who will? So it's like, I'll bring a good one into the world.

You guys are bringing good ones into the world and we're all going to make a difference, right? My favorite thing we heard at church on Sunday, I don't know why it stayed with me so much, but it's this idea like we're all saved, you know? And it says you're not saved by good works because that's like a big common theme that people talk about.

You're saved for good works. So like you're saved from your wrongdoings and your sins and all your stuff to do good in the world if you choose to do it. Yeah. So like bring a beautiful baby into the world that does good. Yeah.

Okay. Yeah. yeah this is a good time to tell you and you're like okay you're what the wheels have been going tell me oh yeah you're ready I again I would just recommend read that book God has a name it's he talks about how the Bible actually acknowledges other gods than just the Christian god which is fascinating because I wonder about that too okay yeah yeah so you're because I've always been a fan of history and like Greek pathology and it's like oh so what Zeus just how do you reconcile other people's gods right the way this was portrayed was like

actually there's there's other gods some lower gd god and they all have kind of like spiritual power if you will and so like if you look at colorado like why is there so many school shootings in colorado it's like maybe there's a evil lower g god in that but what is your pinnacle top uppercase g god and i think like if if that to you is fear or i don't know something but i could see how you wouldn't want to buy into that But if it's like, if, you know, the fruits of the spirit are love, joy, peace, patient, kindness, goodness, gentleness, self-control. It's like, that's kind of like the North Star that I want to pursue or the thing that I want to bend the need to. But you can't let, dude, you can't let fear cripple you, Caitlin. I know, because it doesn't make sense either.

I'm like, that ain't me. And it's like, then I'm like, is my fear an excuse? God has a name also talks about that, though. It's like how you, what you idol and what you allow. like what God are you allowing to take control over you? Yeah, yeah. Is it the devil? Is it the God who worships?

Is there a fear God? Because he's really taken over. The devil. Oh, God. I don't know that guy in my life. But you also think you have to like put a place, you have to put everything in a place too. Like if you just spiral one day of negative thoughts and like fear and panic and

you're letting evil win. That's what cat told me. Yeah. And so it should motivate you to be like, uh-uh, I don't want to feed you. That is bad. This was a compelling description of why there's pain and suffering in the world. It's like, all right, let's just assume that this life is like a great moral drama. And it's like the game is, are you good or are you bad?

You know what I'm saying? Because that's kind of people will refer to that. Yeah. And if it was every time you do a good thing, you get rewarded, then it's kind of like a, I'm doing this for the reward kind of outcome. But when there's like randomness of if you do good things, you might go broke or you might get betrayed or you might get injured or hurt or whatever,

somebody close to you might die. Yeah. And you're still doing good things. Then it's like, I mean, that's a pretty compelling litmus test for the quality of your morality. You know what I'm saying? Yeah.

And I don't know. Like I think we all fall short of it. And thank goodness there's redemption available to all of us. But I thought that was fascinating. I'm going to continue to do good things despite the outcome. Like it can't be tied to the outcome. Yeah, no, I think about that often with like a dog sits and it wants a cookie. Like I don't want to be doing good things just to get a reward or like I and I have to challenge myself that even in relationships.

I'm like, am I doing that because I want to be a good person or am I doing that because I want them to remember that for the next time. Like you know, like what like why am I doing that? Yeah, for the scoreboard of it. Yeah, exactly. I'm doing this. So you do something nice for me later. It's like, no, you can't do it like that. Yeah, no, it just doesn't work.

Well, I appreciate always having honest conversations with you guys. I feel like I feel like I could have a prep talk and then we'll always go a different direction of because it's just real conversation because we're friends. I am so excited to watch you guys because, I mean, the previews, it's all you guys. Like the previews, I'm like, I cannot wait to watch. streaming free on Pluto TV. I'm coming in high. For this month only, you can watch full seasons

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