Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Solo Dolo | Crafting Your Permission Slips, Quieting the Fear Monster, and Embracing Gratitude

Episode Date: April 25, 2024

#731. In this intimate solo episode of Grape Therapy, Kaitlyn Bristowe opens up about her personal odyssey toward self-discovery and empowerment. From expressing gratitude for her supportive community after her Pour Decisions tour to teasing exciting podcast rebranding plans (YAY!), Kaitlyn sets the stage for a transformative conversation. With raw vulnerability, Kaitlyn delves into the crucial distinction between feeding fear and nurturing love within ourselves. She shares insights on embracing discomfort as a catalyst for growth and offers practical tools, like daily permission slips and empowering meditations, to aid listeners on their own journeys. Join Kaitlyn in celebrating the power of authenticity and the quest for freedom from fear, as she invites listeners to embark on a journey toward self-love and empowerment! If you’re LOVING this podcast, please follow and leave a rating and review below! PLUS, FOLLOW OUR PODCAST INSTAGRAM HERE! EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS (5:13) - Kaitlyn introduces the concept of feeding fear versus nurturing love within ourselves, prompting listeners to reflect on their own habits and thought patterns. (12:12) - Reflecting on the importance of supporting one's emotions, Kaitlyn shares insights on distinguishing between having feelings and actively supporting oneself through them. (19:53) - The transformative power of embracing discomfort and learning to get comfortable with being uncomfortable. (24:32) - Letting go of attachment to outcomes. (32:07) - Offering a transformative homework assignment, Kaitlyn encourages listeners to write themselves daily permission slips as a practice in self-compassion and empowerment. Thank you to our Sponsors! Check out these deals! Better Help:This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp! Visit BetterHelp.com/VINE today to get 10% off your first month of therapy. Ouai:See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Okay, let's talk about the original enemies to lovers story. Before all of our reality TV couples, before the rom-coms, we binge, there was Elizabeth Bennett and Mr. Darcy in pride and prejudice. And Audible has just dropped a brand new original that will have you completely hooked, I am. It's not just any audiobook. This is a full cast performance. So Marisa Abella, you might know her from industry, brings Elizabeth Bennett to life.

And Harris Dickinson from Baby Girl and Where the Crawdads sing is Mr. Darcy. And honestly, the chemistry, you guys, it's everything. Plus, you've got icons like Glenn Close, Bill Nye and Will Polter in the mix. Talk about a dream cast. Now, what I love is how Marissa pulls you right into Lizzie's world, her stubbornness, her wit, her messy family dynamics, and of course, her complicated feelings for Darcy. And with a vibrant new adaptation and original score by Grammy-nominated composer, it just feels so fresh and modern while still keeping that timeless Jane Austen charm.

So whether it's your first time experiencing Pride and Prejudice or you've read it a million times, you're going to fall absolutely in love all over again. So go listen to Pride and Prejudice now at audible.ca slash Jane Austen. I'm Caitlin Bristow. Your session is now starting. I'm freezing. I don't know if you guys run cold or hot. I'm a cold girlie and my aura ring told me that I should be keeping the house at like 65 degrees when I sleep. And I'm like, Jack, so cold. Anyways, hi, welcome to my solo Dolo episode of the podcast. I love it. I surprisingly love it. I didn't think I would love talking by myself. One, it was insecurities. I was like, do you guys really want to hear me? You've heard this whole spiel. But I think when I interview somebody, I overcompensate sometimes or I want to keep the energy high or I get nervous that I'm like making them uncomfortable or I'm just weirdly learning that I'm a people pleaser, which I would have never thought of myself as, but I think I am, which I will also get into. But when I do these solo episodes, I'm kind of just free to be and talk and say what's on my mind and get things off my chest. And I've actually found it to be quite therapeutic. Therapeutic is probably a really good word to use for today's podcast because I'm getting a lot

off my chest in hopes that I can really inspire you to kind of join me on the spiritual journey that I've been on for a minute now, and it just keeps getting better and better. And the more I learn, the more I grow, the more I practice, the more I build that capacity and that muscle, as the therapist would say, of, I don't know, tolerance, I guess, for feeling uncomfortable. And I'm going to talk a lot about what kind of work I've been doing. And I'm going to talk about it from a place that is personal, but also, again, in hopes that you will take a lot away from this podcast today. We're going to start off light, or we're going to hit a little heavy, and we're just going to end it on a note of a lot of gratitude. So here we go.

So obviously, I just finished the tour. Cheers to you guys for showing up, for reminding me why I love doing this. And meeting everybody was just so, it's just a whole other level of special at this point in my life. It's been almost seven years of podcasting, and to know I still have this incredible community behind me. and you guys show up to these shows and you say, you know, I've been following you since Chris Sol's season of The Bachelor. I'm like, I'm so lucky. This is so special.

So thank you, Nashville, Kansas, Missouri, Florida, Cleveland, Madison. Did I say Atlanta? All the places I went, thank you. I always walk away from those just feeling extremely grateful. Tired, but grateful. I do that to myself. The highs and lows of tour, I would say, obviously, highs was and this is why I did the tour I'm going to share a little secret with you it's not a big

money maker I'm not in it for the money I literally did this because I was like I want to just interact with all of you listeners I want to feel that energy that I know is so powerful and just going to new places now and meeting vinos I've never met before and going to new places and being in front of a crowd I just I feel like when I'm up there I just feel comfortable I feel connected to you guys. It was incredible. The lows of tour is just the travel. It just takes it right out of me. I ain't no spring chicken anymore. Who am I kidding? I still feel 25, but my social battery was on E when I came back. But I like ride this high. Like when I do bottle signings for spade and sparrows, people are like, are you so tired of like smiling and interacting? Are you

exhausted? And I'm like, no, I'm high right now. I'm high on big wine guys. I'm high on life. I'm high on the fact that my wine is in Target, I'm high on being on stage and connecting with all of you. It's when I get home that I'm like, holy shit, I'm tired. So anyways, meeting. You guys was just so cool. Some of you had very powerful stories. Some of you shared a lot with me. Some of you made bracelets. Some of you said hilarious things. Some of you confessed. It's a special show. So I'm still in this office, which this is going to be my office, but I also want to build this podcast studio. I had a meeting the other day with these phenomenal women. I will share them with you on social media. Well, I'll share them on the podcast as well, but they are helping

they're from Canada and they are helping me rebrand, rebuild more exciting. Can you guys see that fly? Get out of here. What are you? As soon as it gets hot in Nashville, the bugs be bugging. They're helping me rebrand and kind of just take that podcast to the next level, which I'm so excited about. The space that they came up with is an actual dream. And obviously, you guys, will feel like you're right in that studio with me as i hope you feel right now just kind of boring nothing on the back walls naked walls but i do obviously want to know your opinion i just have a vision i want it to be elevated yet still like edgy funny bright you can tell deep dark secrets and poop your pants stories but you can also go to a place where you feel safe and heard and seen

and inspired to share all the things you know and so if there's anything that you guys are like wow katelyn if you did this on the podcast i would really take it to the next level i'm open you know you can always leave a review i was in the uber the other day he had youtube up on the back seats and i was like up the vine subscribe and you know that's just marketing i'm a marketing genius i'm just going to go into all the ubers that sounds expensive actually that's not marketing that's just a stupid idea but subscribe like if you guys are in an uber and it has a YouTube, just go hit subscribe to Off the Vine. Why am I acting so desperate? I just think it's smart. I was so excited about my idea when I got in there. I was like, yes. And you guys can always share

ideas and whatever with me at Offthevine podcast at gmail.com. We are always open to feedback. Sometimes it hurts my feelings, but that is okay because constructive criticism is necessary. But I also heard this thing. Apparently if you did an iOS update on your phone, because I've been in the podcast space for so long, certain people that have had their podcast network or platform for a certain amount of years lost those subscriptions. So just double check you looking right down the barrel at you. Just double check that you are still subscribed to the podcast. Okay. Also a quick reminder before I get into my spiritual coaching session that I want to share so badly with you and inspire you to get on my vibe. Don't forget to share your workplace romance with us for the

vinyl fesionals. So off the vine podcast at gmail.com. We're doing workplace romance. So if you wanted to talk about how you've hooked up with a boss or did that thing where I've always dreamt of where you just swipe everything off the desk and go, take me now. Why did I do Target lady? That's not sexy. Take me now. Also, you guys, I'm going to visit my mom in Mexico. I'm going to relax from tour. I'm going to spend quality time with mom. And I'm so proud of her right now. she has been doing 10,000 steps a day, she's been going to therapy, she's been eating a high protein diet, she's feeling good, she looks incredible, and I just feel like Stella got her groove back. Anyways, let's get into my therapist slash spiritual coach talk. I work with this, I work with a lot of people.

I work with Aaron Trelor. I work with my therapist, Angela, and I work with this girl Courtney, who she does the Bodie effect, who you should absolutely follow on Instagram. And I tried to meet with her once a month. And these sessions I have with her are, they remind me of Hoffman in a way where we do visualizations. And I get to this place where I go, now, and please tease me, poke fun all you want. I get to a meditative state where I actually have three people who I think are my spirit guides come towards me. I've discovered them in Hoffman. Because when you are not on your phone for a week and you are doing 13 to 15 hours of therapy every day and you are writing notes, you get so dialed in and there is no noise to distract you. And so now I can drop into that

place pretty quickly. And I've got this little old lady that kind of reminds me of the grandma from Moana. And I feel like she's my spirit guide. I know I sound crazy and woo-woo, but for the love of God, just let me have this because it's so cool to have. And I just wish everybody could actually experience this. So if you're open to it, please take me up on all of advice. And sometimes if I don't like drop in and hear from her in a while, she like comes out with cobwebs. She's like, I'm still here. And I'm like, she's funny. And that is my subconscious. My higher self, my spirit guide would be funny. Sorry, that's my spirit guide. My higher self is like this blonde Caitlin who comes in, but her face is a white light. Please stay with me. And then I always

invite in 12 year old Caitlin, which usually makes me cry. Because when you want to talk to yourself or figure something out or have a moment to breathe and not react with such big emotions and more logic. Just invite your younger self in and just speak to her how you would want to speak to somebody and how you'd want to speak to yourself. It's actually really powerful. So what I love about therapy is sometimes our brains aren't conditioned to think in your adult like self. So sometimes it's fun to put it in a childlike term, which Courtney does for me. So we always talk about, look at my notes, by the way. We always talk about fear monsters and love monsters and who we're feeding. And I think this helps break it down into a really simple term and a simple way

of thinking about it. So I think we can constantly be feeding our fears or we can begin to feed our love monster, what we love, what makes us feel good. It's kind of like what you focus on grows. so are you focusing on that fear monster of I'm not good enough shame if I had this I could be this are you feeding that monster and making them all fat and angry or are you feeding this love monster of worth happy aligned trusting surrender worthiness and I think that's kind of where this high vibe low vibe thought has come in that I've shared on social media a lot because I feel like it's made a really big impact on me so feeding that fear monster it can be what you think in your head, comparison, what you talk about to friends, family, coworkers, gossip,

what you constantly read about, follow on social media. What are you feeding your brain from social media of that fear monster of not being good enough? What are you putting your energy into? And if you continue to kind of feed that fear, it's going to be all that you can see and all that you can feel. It kind of makes sense if you think about it. I always think about it like a children's book. It's so simple when you think about it that way. But if you practice it, it's going to make a really big difference. It's obviously more natural for us to feed fears. It's easier for us. But this is an active choice of love every day to feed the love monsters, to feed your worthiness, to feel grateful enough. I'm going to get into something called conditional and non-conditional. And so that

will make more sense to you. But feeding the unconditional love and looking through that kind of lens, of love, which I don't know why it's so uncomfortable for us. It's uncomfortable for us to move out of feelings of anger and accept the sadness. But again, you've got to build that muscle and build that capacity of why am I so scared to feel? What am I protecting in myself? What does it keep me from if I just get mad at something or someone else? What is that doing for me? How is it benefiting me. And sometimes I go, well, it's benefiting me because then I don't have to feel sad. And a lot of times, believe it or not, I tie sadness to feeling pathetic. And I know that sounds crazy because I share feeling sad often and I know I'm sad often. But this is kind of where

it comes into play with what my therapist told me. There is a difference in having feelings and supporting your feelings. So I know I have feelings of sadness. I know I have feelings of anger. I know I have feelings of fear but how am I supporting myself in them instead of just saying like shame on me I feel sad must be PMS must be this and I blame and I shame I think the more I preach and the more I practice the easier it's going to get and I'm already seeing it have an impact of me of what monster I'm feeding and you know supporting the feeling can also be known as acknowledging they are with you versus naming they are you okay so something I'm learning is instead of saying like I'm sad or I'm mad, I can go, sadness is with me right now. So I am sad versus sadness is

with me. I am angry versus anger is with me. I can feel it. I am seeking justice versus the feeling, the need for justice is with me. Do you see where I'm going with that? So when you acknowledge that a feeling is with you versus it is you, it energetically kind of gives the feeling of permission. Permission is one of my favorite things to talk about lately with feelings because it it gives you that feeling of permission to be felt, to proceed to feel supported, and then eventually turn that into love and support your own feelings. So again, feeding that love monster of, okay, sadness is with me, but that is valid. And I, I'm a human being who can feel sadness and how am I going to support myself through that. So a big tool that I've been using

is writing myself a permission slip. And I hope I can share this with you. And I hope to encourage you to write a permission slip as well. So for example, I wrote the other day. Today I give myself permission to feel sad about a feeling that I was really misunderstood in a situation that I had shared with somebody a very open wound for me. And what felt like happened is that they were like, oh, that wound is open. I'm going to stick my fingers in it, turn, maybe spit in it, throw some salt in it. That's how it felt to me. That was my experience. And I gave myself permission to feel sad and to feel angry and feeling misunderstood. and because that feeling makes me feel like I'm not enough.

So if somebody's going to poke my open wound, I go, okay, well, I must not be worthy of them acknowledging my feelings here. So I try to process this feeling. I'm going to give myself permission to journal about it. Turn off notifications. I'm going to write a rage page where I'm just mad and I get things out that I would never want to say to anybody, but I can say it in my own little mind on paper and then burn it. And I'm going to go turn off notifications.

of this thing that's bothering me, I'm going to set a boundary, I'm going to go for a run, a cry, a workout, a sleep, a nap. Permission is just, it's so impactful to your mental health. And I think acknowledging that and writing yourself a permission slip can go a really long way. And I really want you guys to practice that because, again, I'm just, I want people to hear me when I say practice is powerful. Grab a coffee and discover nonstop action with Bud MGM Casino. Check out our hottest exclusive.

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If you have questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you, please contact Connix Ontario at 1866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor free of charge. But MGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with Eye Gaming Ontario. I think I've often talked about on this podcast and in therapy, how I don't have the best coping skills. And over time, I've been building that capacity for coping skills. And I'm getting

so much better in this situation that happened the other day where I was like, I'm triggered. I was able to write a permission slip. I was able to write a rage page. I was able to say, oh, you aren't supporting yourself in the feelings. Why don't you support yourself in these feelings? Where usually I would just be like, I'm going to go punch a wall and cry and feel sorry for myself and be mad at the other person. I'm slowly learning and that is because I've practiced. I'm having a girlfriend right now going through a really hard time and she is not trusting her partner and it's all she knows she's been with him since high school and she knows she owes it to herself to walk away and she's done everything possible and he just keeps disrespecting her. And I said, I understand that

that must be scary. I can't imagine exactly how you feel because I've never been in that position but I know I have felt scared to leave a situation because what if this? What if this? But my encouraging words to her and maybe to you, this can resonate, but what if in five years you have done so much work and healing? And what if you didn't even know you were capable of being this happy? Or what is scarier? Going through this time and working on yourself and feeling as healed as you can be in five years or in five years going, shit, I just missed an opportunity of healing for the last five years and I'm even deeper in this darkness. And it's even harder to get out. And I think that's something that I really struggled with with leaving the last relationship was I'm scared. People are not

going to see it the way I see it and I'm going to get shamed and blamed and things are going to be weaponized against me. And what if there is nothing out there that's going to make me happy? and what if this is happy and I'm throwing it away or what if what if what if what if what if what if and now I'm like it's been eight months I think and him and I are able to talk in a healthy way over the dogs and I feel like he is possibly happier I feel like I'm happier I feel like I can only imagine what version of myself I'm going to be even in a year later from now and that's from choosing yourself so again back full circle how are you feeding that love monster and tell that fear monster to go kick rocks with op-toed shoes, okay?

I think another thing I attached to the feeling of pathetic and sadness, I cried so much growing up. I cried if I lost a dance competition. I cried if I wasn't invited to a birthday party. I cried if a boy didn't like me. I cried if a boy didn't want to dance with me. I think I was always made fun of. And I also was, you know, very conditioned and comforted by my parents to say,

like, well, you should have won that competition, or you? they should invite you to the birthday party instead of them saying it's okay to feel a bit of failure it's okay that you didn't win it's okay that you didn't get invited you aren't for everybody i was kind of taught like nah you should have won that and my poor mom she sent me a message today and she said it's a lot of pressure on parents to you know do what's best for their kids even like at this age i'm like i know i hope her and my dad know how grateful i am for the kind of parenting and love that I was shown all growing up. I think there is just so much power in learning to get comfortable with being uncomfortable. I think people say that all the time, but there's a reason

for it. And over time, I think the more you push through discomfort of supporting your sadness or your anger, figuring out what those emotions are, the easier and more comfortable it will become. And I hope that I can be proof of the pudding, if you will, for you. Okay, so I said I was going to talk about this. earlier, the conditional versus unconditional love. So kind of this freeing feeling of loving yourself and your life with no conditions. So conditions kind of how things need to unfold in order to feel safe, to feel love, to feel supported, to feel in control. So if I X, I will feel X way. If I have two million followers, I will get more opportunities and feel successful. If I have a boyfriend,

I will feel lovable. If I drive this car, I will feel wealthy. If I look like this, I will get this job. Obviously, awareness is the first step. I'm a self-aware queen. But it's like, what's the next step? So what are the conditions of my life, my career, my relationships, my friendships, my work relationships?

And what do these conditions bring me, aka high vibes or low vibes? And I really, I told you I was going to beat a dead horse with this because I really want you guys to start looking at your life like that. because the conditions will cripple you and the unconditional love when you break free from doing things for a result and more into doing something because you love doing it without attaching where will this lead what will it bring me that is something i am wholeheartedly head diving into not dip in the toes i am going face first into showing up at my highest self for my truest self without affirmations from other people, just trusting my own greatness and moving into a space

because I love it, podcasting, I love it. I love sharing things with you. I love posting funny things on Instagram. I love cuddling with my dogs. I love taking a Sunday to do absolutely nothing. I love challenging myself in workouts and seeing how strong I can be. I love singing. I love dancing. and when you aren't attached to the outcome, you're aligned with your truest self. This is so important. I hope you listen to that. I believe this is a lifelong practice for me. Healing is always a lifelong practice.

There is no arrival. There are days, a lot of days and weeks that I live in my head. I live in the conditions. I live in the conditions of love. I do things for a result. But even just from being aware and acknowledging what I'm doing, I can now feel the difference and want to show up without expecting anything in return. So I can literally feel the difference and I no longer unsee or turn away from it

when I'm doing something. I acknowledge this is obviously a work in progress. This is not a perfection and nor will it ever be. But I'm going to give you some examples again of condition versus unconditional love. So condition, how can I make more money? Unconditional love. How can I work from my highest aligned self? I'm happy and things will flow.

Condition. I have imposter syndrome. I don't actually deserve to be here. What am I doing? Unconditional love. I'm showing up from my heart and I'm calling aligned opportunities. Condition. My anxiety is bad. It's out of my control. Unconditional love. Wow. My anxiety is a call to return to the present moment. It arises a reminder that I'm out of alignment. I am disconnected from my truest self. Again, the more you practice this, the easier it comes, you guys. So how my high vibrational way would be of thinking of things is how challenges can be opportunities. Anytime you make a mistake, anytime you feel a certain way, anytime you go backwards and don't shame yourself, what is the opportunity here?

So again, like growing up in dance competitions, sports, definitely not curricular activities or education. That was not my strong suit. I didn't even try and compete in that. I was like, at least I graduate. Okay. But certain things I just, I always wanted to win. And sometimes I even get scared to share on my own podcast because I don't know what Reddit troll is watching to like share something that I've said or a headline's going to be made. And I'm always scared that something I share out of vulnerability is going to be used to weaponize it against me. Like I share something like, oh, I'm really insecure about this. Well, now a troll has this data to go, ooh, this is going to be my ammo to really poke the bear. And that is really scary for me. just so you guys know. But I'm just constantly, like, feeding that fear monster of, I'm a competition. I'm, like, looking for competition because I like to win.

Comparing myself, am I enough? Am I safe if I lose? Again, think of things that are your own inner child wounds or things that you struggle with. These are, I'm just sharing my personal ones. Am I still loved if I lose? It's so, it's so deep and it's, it sounds so silly to me when I say it out loud, but I know it's not. Oh, see, there I go again. But here's the opportunity.

What is winning, Caitlin? I often do this practice where, again, I close my eyes. I bring in my higher self, that little grandma bitch too, and my 12-year-old self, and I think of how I'm feeling and how I'm speaking about myself and how I'm showing up and how something makes me feel. So what I want winning to feel like for me is feeling happy, not getting the dancing with the Starst Trophy, although I don't know what I'd do without you. That's my low vibration.

Speaking, it's my child. I want to win. I did. Okay, moving on. Winning from a place of feeling connected is, wow, I'm doing something that makes me really happy and I get to make a living off of this. Kind of living in that high vibration is such a bonus that you can practice all the time. But another visualization I do is sitting in my throne.

Now, here's where I really realized I'm a people. people pleaser. I felt guilty sitting in my own throne in my brain. I pictured myself sitting in this throne being powerful and having my higher powers come in and then little 12 year old Caitlin and I pictured me just sitting there and I'm like, this is my own power and I'm feeling guilty for sitting in it. That's crazy. I was like, oh, make yourself smaller or don't sit too high on that throne. Don't feel too cool doing that. No, this is my life. I want to be in control. of how I feel of my life. And when I sit and when you can sit in your own throne, you are the leader in your life. So you get to focus on the things that are true. What is true about you? When you

visualize yourself sitting in your highest power in your throne, what do you focus on that is true? And I want to know. I want you to share in the comments. Like you can share if it makes you feel better because sometimes it does for me to share my low vibrational ways of thinking and then sitting in my throne and being the leader of my life, what am I thinking there? What are you saying that is fear-based and what do you know to be true? Your highest-aligned self in your throne doesn't concern herself with things that are fleeting and temporary. For example, Instagram followers, likes, going viral, noise, shame, illusions, numbers. You and your throne embody worth, trust, love, authenticity, peace, happiness, and alignment. Now imagine living from that space at all times.

Well, that would be a little fucked up. I don't like no toxic positivity. I am PMSing so bad the last two days and I am really trying to allow myself to just be a huge. I said it. I said it. You don't always have to live from the place of your throne, but imagine practicing it. I have patterns. I have discomforts. I have wounds. I have things I hide from. At times situations and people poke it. They activate it for me. And I'm really trying out to lose my magic. I think I've struggled the last few years. And I want to get my magic back. I want to get my Caitlin self back of living from the best version and the highest vibration and the most aligned self. I think when I hurt, I react. And my reaction is a trigger and triggers only work because there's ammo and explosives

behind it. So always try and give yourself grace. What is? is the ammo? What is your armor? What are you protecting? What is getting poked? And then how do you hold space for yourself to feel those feelings? And I'm trying to no longer strive for perfection. You know, I want everybody to try and do this with me and no longer live a life that's doing something for a result. I am working on unpacking all of that ammo and I want you to unpack it too. And I just want, I want everybody to feel free. My goal in life is to feel free and let go of the fear monster and the noise. And I want that for you guys so badly. We're all here to be us. You are here to be you. I am here to be me. We are here to live the best version of ourselves

that we can. There's a reason that people get interviewed on their deathbeds and their biggest regret in life is that they lived a life for somebody else and not for themselves. So we are here to lead with our heart and not our head and do things because we love doing them and because we want to do them and we have love for who we are while we do them. My homework for you. Write yourself a permission slip every morning for the next seven days. Put it in your calendar. Make it your alarm. When you wake, when your alarm goes off, make it say, today I give myself permission to. You can do it mentally, I guess, or actually write it down on a piece of paper, but today I give myself permission to. What do you want to give yourself permission to feel? Take an inventory

of your life. What is giving you a high vibration? What is giving you a low vibration? Cross out the low vibes. Circle the high vibes and just see where that takes you. The Bodie meditation who that's who this whole inspiration to make a positive change is is from a lot of people in my life, but Bodhi effect being one of them. I'm going to give you guys a link for free access to two really powerful meditations that I do a lot. The BU meditation and the worthiness era meditation So I will put that on my social media at Off the Vine podcast. And then I'm going to do a Q&A with Courtney on my Instagram live. And then I'm going to have her on my podcast as well.

So hopefully we can start this conversation for you. Start these provoking thoughts for you to write down, for you to give yourself permission, for you to notice how you're feeling, what vibration you're on. And then we'll bring her in to answer some of your questions. So I will keep you guys posted on all of that. will end with a little gratitude. I am so grateful that I get to share A to Z with you. I get to share my sometimes drunk ass getting up on stage crowd surfing and people will shame me for that, but I live it up out there. I get to make fart jokes. I get to listen to confessions about

sex and poop and all the things. I get to sit here and talk about my therapy and my feelings and I get to share with you my deepest darkest secrets. I get to try and inspire you. I really get to do A to Z with you, and I am so grateful for that. So thank you for just letting me let my freak flag fly all the time, whether it's flying high or flying low. I've got friends in low vibrational places.

But I'd love to hear what you guys are grateful for. I always love reading them. So leave them in the reviews or the comments or anything. You follow us on Instagram and comment on our latest post. I always try and do my best to respond to you. I just believe that gratitude is such a beautiful practice. Again, just taking those thoughts of if I had the X, I would get Y, Z. My brain's going mush.

I've been talking for too long, but you know what I'm saying? I'll catch you guys on the next month solo, Dolo podcast. Thank you so much for all of your support. I love you guys so much. I'm Caitlin Bristow. I'll see you next Tuesday. You're next Tuesday.