Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - SOLO DOLO | Kaitlyn on Dog Custody, Devin Drama, and Life Updates

Episode Date: September 19, 2024

#773. This week, Kaitlyn takes the mic solo to tackle all your burning questions and share some personal updates. From the ongoing dog custody situation with Ramen and Pinot to her thoughts on the recent Devin drama, she holds nothing back. Kaitlyn opens up about her ego, apologizing (or not) for jokes, and why she only trusts dogs, babies, and old people. Plus, she gets real about wanting to be a mom and dealing with online hate. Pour a martini and tune in for an honest, unfiltered chat with Kaitlyn! If you’re LOVING this podcast, please follow and leave a rating and review below! PLUS, FOLLOW OUR PODCAST INSTAGRAM HERE! Thank you to our Sponsors! Check out these deals! Bombas: Head over to Bombas.com/vine and use code vine for 20% off your first purchase. Chewy: That’s Chewy.com/vine to save $20 on your first order with free shipping. Minimum purchase required. OUAI: Go to THEOUAI.com and use promo code VINE for 15% off any product. Progressive: Quote at Progressive.com to join the over 28 million drivers who trust Progressive. Shopify: Sign up for your $1 per-month trial period at SHOPIFY.COM/vine See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Okay, let's talk about the original enemies to lovers story. Before all of our reality TV couples, before the rom-coms, we binge, there was Elizabeth Bennett and Mr. Darcy in pride and prejudice. And Audible has just dropped a brand new original that will have you completely hooked, I am. It's not just any audiobook. This is a full cast performance. So Marisa Abella, you might know her from industry, brings Elizabeth Bennett to life.

And Harris Dickinson from Baby Girl and Where the Crawdads Sing is Mr. Darcy. And honestly, the chemistry, you guys, it's everything. Plus, you've got icons like Glenn Close, Bill Nye and Will Polter in the mix. Talk about a dream cast. Now, what I love is how Marissa pulls you right into Lizzie's world, her stubbornness, her wit, her messy family dynamics, and of course, her complicated feelings for Darcy, and with a vibrant new adaptation and original score by Grammy-nominated composer, it just feels so fresh and modern while still keeping that timeless Jane Austen charm.

So whether it's your first time experiencing Pride and Prejudice or you've read it a million times, you're going to fall absolutely in love all over again. So go listen to Pride and Prejudice now at audible.ca slash Jane Austen. I'm Caitlin Bristow. Your session is now starting. Welcome to Off the Vine. It's me, Caitlin Bristow, and I'm going to do a long overdue solo episode of Off the Vine. I am preparing to go to the south of France on Friday. So I feel like I'm being chic. I was like, I'm going to straighten my bob, drink a martini, and zip. This zipper can go like, well, I won't show you. But I'm keeping it very demure, very mindful because that's who I am. People call me a lot of names. and people that are accurate with a lot of them, but if they called me mindful, they would be wrong. Speaking of not being mindful, let's talk about Devin. You guys, did you see Devin posted a reel about Jen and just dug himself a deeper hole? I'm like, bro, just come clean.

At this point, people would respect you being like, look, I was a piece of shit. I was there for this reason. And I also wanted to offer Devin a discount code on mouth tape. I sleep with mouth tape every single night. Sometimes I should use my own mouth tape in everyday life, but Devin, you can borrow some if you'd like. I'll get to that at a second. Today I've got kind of a personal update, answers to questions, lingering questions, if you will. And we'll chat about the current dog custody situation.

We'll chat about this energy healing session I had today. That was really beautiful. I guess we could talk about my upcoming trip to south of the south of France. Then I want to finish with the importance of self-talk. and then answer some of your questions. So let's get into it. Devin, back to the mouth tape. After Jen's episode dropped and I talked to her

and, you know, she's having her voice right now. I couldn't believe Devin had the audacity. It must be on sale. It's on sale every day when I look at the internet. But Devin made a video to try and again, like, create his own narrative for the story that he's not a bad guy, but it was painfully obvious that he was reading from a script. Like, I have notes up right now.

Sure. You could just, dude, I just want him to be honest about, hey, guys, I wrote some notes because this is really challenging for me to remember. Okay, and then he can look at his notes, but him doing this, hey, everybody, I kind of wanted to come on here and defend myself again. And I was just like, just say why you were there. You thought it was going to be a different bachelorette. You did fall for Jen. It was real, but in the real world, it didn't feel real anymore. Like, just, I think we all as an audience in not only the.

Bachelor franchise, but also in social media online. I think we all can see through some serious bullshit these days. And we smell it from a mile away. We see through it. The jig is up. The jig is freaking up on people trying to be somebody else on television on the internet. Like I know people get mad at me for a lot of things. I just got reamed out in my DMs for Taylor Swift being like on a Jesus candle. Now I'm sacrilegious, worshiping the devil. I have thoughts on that, but I'm going to let that one slide. That didn't delete the story. I wonder if Devin deleted the post. No, no, no, it's still up here. Unless I was just on it. Let's refresh his page. Brave, it's still there. Okay, so he's trying to give some more context to the situation, but he just keeps looking at his notes and

then exposes text messages between him and Jen. And not just one or two. You can't keep up with the text messages he's exposing on his reel. And all the comments are like, bro, stop. We as consumers of online presences are craving real people, except being hated. I'm probably a walking contradiction right now. Let me take a sip of my martini. I said this on a podcast I was on the other day. I wear sweaters that say unbothered while I'm clearly bothered. I make jokes that aren't appropriate to try and make comedians laugh. And then I get sad when I'm getting bullied on. and then I try and tell Devin to just show up a certain way on the internet. Like, I get it.

But can I tell you how hard it is to show up online and be authentic? You know, you want to say the right thing. You don't want to offend anybody. You want to come across as lovable, relatable. You want to make people laugh. You want to make money. You want all these certain things. But like, I could have had a complete mental breakdown 10 minutes ago and you'd never know it.

You'd be like, Caitlin, what's that bruise under your eye? Did you hurt yourself? And I would be like, I didn't have. hurt myself, it's Botox, but you never know it is Botox. You just don't know what goes on behind the doors of social media. All I'm saying is I just want people to be a little more real in this world. I keep doing EMDR around some stuff in my life. I'm, I'm doing therapy. I'm doing energy clearing. I'm doing all these things to try and help, you know, like put me in a good headspace. I'm reading this book that we'll talk about in a bit that's just removing the ego. And I just

find it very scary that the world is consumed by false advertisement. Like people will be like, Caitlin, you're copying this person. I'm like, everyone on the internet is copying everyone. Literally everyone in the internet is copying everyone. That's why songs and sounds and skits and certain things go viral because we're all doing it. We're not copying. It can be fun, but it's just everything is such an illusion and I want everyone to stop taking it so seriously. I'm probably not even making sense. What I came here to say was Devin, shut up. You get out of here. Just go on, get. We're just done with Devin. So let's move on over to this book that I am reading called A New Earth. It is a transformative experience reading this book. I talked about it with Victoria Brown.

She read this book and I think she went on her podcast and like dissected each chapter because it's so powerful and it's really hard to read because it's so deep you guys it is so deep but downloading the audiobook really helped me it's a lot of things i'm i'm not too far into it so i will come back with more information but basically i'm going to say some really powerful one-liners or quotes from it that i wrote down so knowing yourself is to be rooted in being instead of being lost in your mind now this took me a few goes to understand i was like what and then four days later I was like oh oh so knowing yourself is to be rooted in being so again this I always I need to remove me Caitlin remove from social media your job the music you listen to

what you do in your life how you look what just you as a human being and know that you are part of a greater good that you are put on this earth for a reason you're not the only person in this world and don't get lost in your mind it's really helping me with anxiety because I'm like okay this is just my mind my anxiety shows up in a lot of different ways I definitely have an anxious personality it'll show up in like how I love my dogs I'm so over the top obsessed with them that I I know I've said it before but I can't handle the thought of them dying I go into very bad intrusive thoughts I stay awake at night I smother them.

I'm just obsessed and that's an anxious personality. I need to think of, you know, the greater picture and just being in right now, the dogs are alive. They are healthy. They are with me. My toxic trait is literally acting like they've already died. And I need to just be rooted in being and everything else that's like going on around me, my surroundings, the world, think of how small we are instead of just getting lost in this

little mind who, by the way, is against you. I always thought my mind was supposed to be with me. It's not. It turns on me and it gives me very negative and false information. And I'm like, okay, rooted in being. I hope that made sense and I hope it helped. The next one, you are not the ego. My ego, I was going to say I call her Hurricane Katrina,

but that's when I get drunk on vodka. I would say my ego's name is like literally Nancy. She is such a bitch. I would like to thank Nancy because she's trying to protect me. But when you remove the ego and you say, like, this is not happening to me, this situation is not actually bothering me. It's my perception of the situation. So let's change that.

Powerful shit. It's how you react to situations. That's your ego. There's so many things the ego does. Anyways, to Nancy. Thank you for protecting me because I know that's what the ego does. But you can also go f*** yourself. Acknowledging the good.

that is already in your life is the foundation for all abundance. If you look around and you take in everything you have, like, for example, you know when they say in a workout class, like, thank your body, a lot of people don't get the opportunity to work out. And you know, when you, something bad happens to you and you don't realize how good something is until it's gone, acknowledge all the good. So Trista Sutter said this, which really landed with my mom, which then really landed. ended with me. And it was, you know, we all find the triggers. I'm triggered by this. I'm triggered by

this. That's a trigger for me. This bothers me. And we're like, you know, I feel like that's becoming a buzzword. So Trista said, and I think she saw it somewhere, look for the glimmers. This moment really makes me happy. That smell of fresh air on my walk today. What a little glimmer of happiness. When you start shifting your brain, those micro shifts of positive thinking. And I'm not saying be toxic positive. The toxic positivity, I can't. That's just not in my DNA. But, and as my therapist would say, if you start looking for the glimmers instead of the triggers,

or maybe acknowledging the triggers, but also acknowledging the glimmers, I think that's a beautiful space to be in. Like right now, I just got a whiff of this. I don't know if you can see it, scent. And I realized in the moment that I am, I've always dreamt of having my own radio show since I was a kid to just sit here now and be like, I'm podcasting. This is my own radio show. And you at home are listening with me.

You're my family. You're my community. You're the people that actually like cheer for me and root me on. Or you're here to listen about the custody of the dogs and then do a Reddit article about it. But either way, thank you because this is a glimmer for me. I love what I do. I absolutely love it. Okay. Next, you cannot receive what you don't give. Outflow determines inflow. This one hit me like a ton of fucking bricks. You can't receive what you don't give. Love, money, I believe. I know that like I could do a better job at giving back. I think that's something that I've talked about forever and I do and I do give back. I don't want people to think I don't. A lot of times I don't want to go give back and then post about it because I think that takes away a lot of things from it. But I would like to do better at it. But just like,

energy, good positive energy, loving energy. I know a lot of people, again, are going to call me contradicting because you think my humor, you might take it seriously. When I say a joke, if I say a joke, trust me if I regret it and I meant it and it was awful, I'm going to say sorry. If I didn't mean it or do it and it was just a joke, I'm not going to apologize. A comedian sent me a message once and he said, never apologize for your sense of humor. And I take that with me. If I do something really awful and wrong, I am going to apologize. But back to my point, I'm going to say it again.

You cannot receive what you don't give. Just think about that in every aspect of your life. And I hope you, maybe write these down and just like even put them as notes in your phone and put it as your background. Just you can see that every day. You know what I mean? And we'll get to that with the positive talk to yourself. But it's just, this book has really impacted me in my way of thinking.

It's the second time I've really listened to it. But this time I'm actually listening. I think I'd put it in my earholes before and just like, do chores around the house or go for a workout. But I wasn't actually listening. Now I will take the dogs for a walk. I will put them back in the house and then I will go for my own walk and really take him what he's saying. I will listen to it in the sauna and really take it in what he's saying. And I just think it's really powerful. I just keep every day of my life shifting into a new version of myself that I of who I want to be. This book is really helping me enter that next chapter of my life.

I really think I'm mentally preparing for 40. Like, I just turned 39, but I think I'm mentally preparing to be like, I want to embrace 40. I don't want to go backwards. I want to keep growing and learning and figuring myself out, which brings me to my energy clearing appointment that I had today. That shit never ceases to amaze me. I did an energy clearing today where, I mean, it was an hour. And again, like, I just walked out of it being like, I wish everybody believed in this.

I know people questioned me a lot with my like, really. religious beliefs and I don't I don't usually get into religion politics any of that and I really don't ever want to but I of course believe in a higher power that could be what you believe it could be not what you believe but the more I learned about energy the more obsessed with it I get and the amount of time that it took me back in the day to drop into a meditation and a visualization has come so far when I was sat in this energy healing session with this woman And she was like, do you do all visualizations? Like she probably works with everyone A to Z.

And I was like, yeah, I can drop in right now. And I was able to just literally shut my eyes, picture my 12 year old self. And I started to go back into why I only trust dogs, babies, and old people. I've said it before and I'll say it again, they're the only people that can't hurt me. It's the unconditional love or just like, I don't know what the old people is. I just don't think they're going to hurt me. But why is that, right? Like what happened to me in my life?

And I went back into like my 12 year old self and I'm not going to go too personal just because it was quite personal. But then I realized also it was the 21st anniversary of one of my best friends in the whole world, her death. And I always feel like she's been gone now longer than she was alive. And the amount that it still affects me to this day is I think so terrifying because I go, I loved this girl like a sister. We spent almost every day together. we went through like a bit of a hard time in high school, but we came back together. I literally moved in with her when my parents were going through one of the hardest times. Like her family was my family. My family was her family. Bree and I were her best friend. She was ours. It's why Bree and I will talk every day

for the rest of our lives. She was just a special human. And I just think I cared about that girl so much like a sister, like a family member. And she accepted me for every weirdness. We were so strange together and I think I didn't process it properly I didn't start doing therapy and I mean she died when I was 18 and a horrible horrible tragic car accident and I didn't process any of it and I started doing therapy when I was 27 about the loss of a guy but when I really think about it I think loss is just something that I fear that I didn't process when something so tragic and sudden happened to me and so now I think this could happen to my dogs and that they unconditionally love me and I think well if I can't get over a best friend who died 21 years later it still affects me to like and i shouldn't say it's not like it affects me

in my everyday life of course but it's still absolutely shakes me up and my body knew that it was the anniversary before my mind did and that's what's crazy too is just how intricate and deep our souls are that day i'll never forget i heard the sirens at three in the morning and i woke up to hearing that my friend was in the hospital, not the one that passed. Well, he passed too. And it was just the most chaotic day of trauma and tragedy. And, you know, her family will never be the same. She was such a bright light. And she really did live a full life in her short amount of time. But I just get so panicked around losing people now that I will either push them away or I will get obsessive like I do over the dogs and then I just won't know how to handle it. So again, I think all of this is to say

that therapy is important. Believing in a higher power, energy healing, just doing research and getting to know really who you are, why you are the way you are, because it's really helping me give myself a bit of like a hug and grace to be like, no wonder you're afraid of losing your dogs. You've lost so many like important relationships and even though some were your choice and some weren't loss is different for everybody. And so I highly recommend finding an energy healer, a therapist, and reading this book that I'm reading. It's just I really feel like every day I'm taking the right steps to be coming just a better version of myself. That also comes with a lot of messiness because it brings up a lot of shit that you maybe don't want to address.

But God, don't you just want to get to know yourself and grow every day? I don't know. I nerd out over it. I just, I don't know. I just feel like I'm entering into a next phase where I'm like, I want to be a mom. I've gone back and forth on that a few times, but I want to be a mom to dogs forever. But to children one day, one, hopefully, too, I don't know what's going to happen. It's hard when you keep your dating life private. And I'm like, how do I show up as authentic Caitlin while I still keep some stuff private to me? I'm working on all of this.

And I just want to say thank you to everyone for always, not everyone. You guys, because I know if you're a vino, you are the real ones. But just thank you for being on this ride of life with me and understanding that some things I would like to navigate personally and privately. And I want to really differentiate what's real, what's an illusion on social media, and try and merge the two to just share what I want. And when I do share, be real. And then know that if people don't understand that I want to keep some things private,

that that's on them and not me. and I will just continue to do what feels good for me. I sat in the sauna and I started scrolling on TikTok and usually TikTok makes me laugh. But stuff was coming up where I was like, I don't want to see that. I don't want to see that. And it just made me feel so icky, just so icky. So I always want to be this place where you come to like listen to my podcast for like some realness, for some empowerment, for just, I don't know, encouragement at the end of the day.

So I hope that's what I'm giving you and I'm not confusing the 40 or scaring you. Are you scared? Sometimes I do that to myself. I'm like, okay, settle down, Caitlin. It's not that f*** deep. Okay, let's go there. Let's talk about the dogs. Again, I'm not like Devin.

I'm not reading a script. Okay, I wrote some notes so that I could help myself get some feelings out. So the dog custody. I think everyone knows, especially if you listen to the podcast or follow me at all, you know how important ramen and Pino are to me. They are legitimately the light of my life. And it kills me. I know I travel a lot.

It kills me to leave them. They have the great. greatest dog sitter. I call her their fairy godmother. She loves them like they are her own and she comes to my house so they don't have to leave because what I realized in sharing custody with the dogs is that they get very scared and very uncomfortable and very anxious, not knowing where they're going and when they're coming back. This is not personal to anybody. It happened when they are at one house it happens when they're in my house they get scared to leave i just noticed some really big shifts in them with anxiousness and it was breaking my whole heart and when i talked to bunny's buddies

which is where i rescued them both from they were like this is not allowed we would not let somebody rescue these two angel dogs who need security who need love who need stability to be bouncing around in a joint custody. We would have never, you know, like, I think they even said that they could take the dogs back if they felt that it wasn't fair to them. And Bunny's Buddies actually has a contract and, I mean, I signed the contract. It doesn't allow for this. And I saw it in the dogs and it did not sit well with me. So even though I am aligned with the contract with them not bouncing around. I would never keep them from somebody. I just want to make it clear that he is more than welcome to see them if he is in town for the weekend or wants to take them for a walk. I would

never keep them from anyone. I will never forget, and I'm not going to name names, an ex said to me, you'll never see this dog again. And it broke my soul to not see this dog again. And I remember saying i would never do that to anybody so i am trying to do what is absolute best for these dogs and also not be a monster at the same time so that's all i'm going to say that's all i'm going to say with that being said i think this is a cool opportunity to say adopt don't shop i think it rescuing is so important i think you need to know exactly what you're getting into with rescuing because I've learned a lot from it and I understand why rescue organizations are so strict because these dogs deserve a second chance, not third, fourth, fifth, six.

They, oh, they're just such precious little beans and they've been through so much already and I just believe that you need to have the right heart and mind and capacity to rescue a dog. So if you want to donate to a rescue, if you want to follow, buddies. I mean, it's really tough to see some of the stuff that's on there sometimes, but it's also really eye-opening. And I love donating to any sort of animal rescue. It's just, it's just a passion of mine. Moving on to being chic and going to France. I'm so excited. So a lot of times I go places because I need to podcast or like it usually feels like I'm not just like taking the time to spend quality time with people I love. I did that in Canada and I know a lot of people pointed

out on social media like, Caitlin, you seem so happy. Why don't you move to Canada? And I'm like, I think about that often, but I think, you know, I love my home here in Nashville. I love my little life here. I think I like this little life that still never gets old to me. But eventually I will. I think I eventually will have a summer home in Canada, be around family and then come back and do my own thing but south of france i'm going with cat and worth and some other friends and uh they're going to a wedding after so they're we all just kind of decided to make a trip out of it i don't know i love europe in general and i love paris and i've always wanted to go to the south of france so we're going to st trope i have outfits lined up and ready to go from my friend lee taylor who's a

stylist here in nashville she's incredible she also has a PR company and she's just an overall badass with the best style, and she is going to style me for this upcoming trip, which is so cool, because I always see on Instagram, I'm like, how do all these people look? And they look? And they have a stylist. And I'm like, well, I want to do that. So, and I do sometimes. So South of France, I'm going to have some Luke's, some L-E-W-K-S. And, yeah, I've never been there before. So I think this will come out while I'm there. So don't give me any tips because a little bit too late. But I'll give you tips when I get back, okay? And I wanted to end this podcast with a reminder to be kind to yourself. So part of doing inner child work, part of doing the energy

clearing and healing is again, like I said, going into like whatever age you feel like you went through something and just going to hold space for that little girl or little boy of what they were going through. And somebody asked me, oh no, I guess this is not wrapping it up. I'm going to answer a few questions from Instagram. But someone asked me on Instagram how I talk nicely to myself. And I laughed when I read that because I looked in the mirror and I have, I don't know if you can see it or if I did a good job covering up my bruise with makeup, but I have Botox under my eye. And I'll tell you why. I, again, if you are a listener of the podcast, if you follow me, if you really have been along for this whole ride, you know that I, I used to not hand out my school photos because I was so insecure about my eyes. I thought I had a lazy eye. I have one eye that's bigger than the other. the fact that I'm even pointing that out to you shows growth in me because I would have never wanted anybody to know that because it gives people an opportunity to, one, bully me about it, two, to notice it and three, to, I don't know, maybe notice their own flaws and I never want you

to do that. So I was laughing because this girl was like, how do you speak nice to yourself? Like, how do you do it? I need to work on it. And I was like, I literally just heard a podcast where I thought these people were my friends and they called me lazy eyed and said I was cross-eyed. And I cried for two days over it and said, my insecurities are validated. that's it that's and then you know sometimes you just need to have a little mentee be a cute little mental breakdown to be like no actually no and then I think what it's all about is being like no we're not always going to be super kind to ourselves I do keep a picture in my mirror of my 12 year old self because then I don't talk to myself like shit I picture that little girl hearing the way

I'm talking about her and I think that's really powerful my energy healer told me this too like don't don't do this but actually put your fingers here in your heart chakra and look at yourself and go, I love you, I love you, and, like, convince yourself. And you are going to have setbacks and you're going to fail and you're going to then look in the mirror. I've, the thoughts, the nasty thoughts that I think about myself sometimes, I'm like, how dare you speak to her like that? And it's me.

God, Nancy, Hurricane Katrina, Caitlin herself. I can't keep up with all the different thoughts. But it's overwhelming, but I do think it's important to just notice when you're talking yourself like shit and turn the beat around real quick. Point out something you love about yourself. For example, I am so insecure about my lower stomach and I know that might sound crazy, but it's truly one of my insecurities, my eyes. And sometimes I'll be like, you know, sometimes I'll go get stuck under the eye with

Botox to try and even out my eyeballs. And sometimes I'll hold my lower stomach and go, I can't wait for the stomach to hold a baby. I can't wait for it to stretch out and hold a baby and then contract and give birth. And then just like, what a crazy beautiful blessing. So I think it's just knowing and forgiving yourself, hey, we're human. We're going to feel like shit sometimes. But let's find the glimmers and not the triggers and speak positively to ourselves when we can.

And I think putting a picture of yourself when you're younger in the mirror is a really impactful way to start to just think about that little person and how you're speaking to them. That's my rant. That's it. I love you guys. Thank you to the supportive ones, to the ones who are here to just gossip about me. Thank you for the download, but I'm also going to keep you in my thoughts and prayers because no successful, happy person is wasting their time hating someone else that they don't know. I love you guys so much. Off to France. We go. And I hope you enjoyed this podcast. I'm Caitlin Bristow. Your session is now ending. And if I'm being honest, I wouldn't mind a rating and review.

Thank you.