Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Solo Dolo | Kaitlyn’s 40th Birthday Special: 40 Years, 40 Lessons, 1 Birthday Girl!

Episode Date: June 19, 2025

#851. Your girl is FORTY. And no, Kaitlyn can’t believe how easily that rolls off the tongue… but here we are!In this solo birthday special, she’s pouring herself a strong one and sharing 40 life lessons from 40 years of dating, dancing, crying, healing, loving, learning, and—obviously—oversharing. From turning jealousy into inspiration to Ramen’s maxi pad incident (yes, really), this episode is packed with real talk, laughs, and even a little wisdom!Whether you're 20, 30, 40, or just vibing your way through life, this one will make you feel seen, laugh out loud, or say, “holy sh*t, same.” Press play and celebrate the big 4-0 with Kaitlyn! If you’re LOVING this podcast, please follow and leave a rating and review below! PLUS, FOLLOW OUR PODCAST INSTAGRAM HERE!Thank you to our Sponsors! Check out these deals!Chewy: Chewy has everything you need to keep your pet happy and healthy. And right now you can save $20 on your first order and get free shipping by going to Chewy.com/vine.Pretty Litter: Pretty Litter helps keep your house smelling fresh and clean. Save 20% on your first order and get a free cat toy with code VINE at www.PrettyLitter.com/VINE.Wayfair: Head to Wayfair right now to shop a huge outdoor selection. That’s WAYFAIR.com. Wayfair. Every style. Every home.EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS: (5:33) – Kaitlyn shares how she turned jealousy into inspiration and why being the least smart in the room can actually be a gift.(8:54) – A much-needed reminder: no one is thinking about you as much as you are. Go to the movie alone!(17:02) – Kaitlyn’s pep talk on being your own best friend—and why telling yourself you’re beautiful actually works.(21:23) – The Ramen maxi pad story you didn’t know you needed (but trust, you do).(34:25) – “Aging is a privilege.” Kaitlyn gets candid about why turning 40 isn’t scary—it’s empowering.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Okay, listen up. If you love a good slow burn romance, and let's be real, who doesn't? You need to check out the new Audible Original of Pride and Prejudice. It's an intimate performance that literally makes you feel like you're right there swooning with Lizzie Bennett and Mr. Darcy. Marisa Abella as Elizabeth and Harris Dickinson as Darcy, I'm obsessed. So whether it is your first time with Jane Austen or your 50th, this version is such a fresh, fun listen. Go to audible.ca slash Jane Austen to dive in. You're listening to Off the Vine with Caitlin Bristow.

Hey, Vino's, real quick, if you are listening right now, which obviously you are, you wouldn't be hearing this, can you hit the subscribe or follow button on whatever platform you're on? Please, that one simple thing helps more than you even realize it allows me to keep growing on this podcast and making these episodes the best they can possibly be obviously for you. That's the only favorite I'm going to ever ask, okay? It truly means the world to me.

Thank you. Now, let's get into it. All right, Vinos, pour yourself a good one, no matter what it is. Water, wine, tea, coffee, just make it strong because today's a big one. Pour yourself some emotional strength, because I'm 40. I actually can't believe how easy that rolls off the tongue. I am officially in the era of saying back in my day and things like, I'm too old for this shit.

I saw on Instagram the other day when it said, when your age is getting serious, but you aren't. And I feel like that couldn't be more me. I still feel, I feel 25. I maybe even feel better than when I was 25. At 25, I wasn't as strong physically or emotionally as I am right now. I didn't have a sense of self. I was very selfish. And I just feel like going into 40, I'm like, why was I so?

Well, I know why I was afraid of it. It's because the generation before us not only looked old at 40, it was like the golden girls. I think the golden girls, how old were they in their 40s or 50s? And now I'm like, that's what like people in their hundreds look like. But I just feel like I hear so many women feeling their most empowered selves in their 40s. So I'm like, why would I fear that? And I know a little tiny, little smid part of me says, well, you should have a baby. You should be married.

but I think that's more of a want in my heart and not a should because a lot of people ask if I feel pressure. And if I really think about it or just like answer that immediately, it's no. I obviously am putting out a song and it's about how I would rather be lonely with myself than lonely in a relationship. Because if you've ever felt that being lonely in a relationship, I've experienced it a couple times. And I'm sure the other person did, too. It's just not a good feeling. And I, you know, live by myself in this home. I look around sometimes I'm like, hello, hello, hello. But I'm happier than I was, you know, a few years ago. So anyways, I'm freaking excited. So today it is just me and you, no guests, no filters, just the wild, raw, 40-year-old self that I am. I am going to give

some real life lessons I've learned from 40 years on this planet, 40 years of dancing, dating, loving, crying, growing, failing, succeeding. And let's be honest, oversharing. So whether you're 20 or 30 or 40 or you're 50 or you're just vibing your way through life, maybe you don't even care what age you are, that's what I hope to get to. You know when you just don't know what day of the week is and that's when you feel like you've made it? You're like, don't know what day it is. That's like my dad's retired life. I feel like that's also a cool thought. Like, I actually don't know how old I am.

I'm just going to stop counting because it's how you feel. So I hope this episode makes you laugh. I hope this episode always makes you feel seen. Every episode of mine, I hope you feel seen. Okay, we're going to take it all the way back. Awkward bangs. I had dinner plate teeth that were like big and round and like all separated. My friend Lindsay, who we all remember, known love, who passed away in a car accident.

She put gum in my hair one year and we had to cut it out. and so I had an alfalfa sprout on top of the awkward bangs and teeth. But let's go back to the questionable fashion choices. These are lessons that shaped me before wine, Botox, and therapy. Okay, lesson one is you're not always going to be somebody's cup of tea. And thank God for that. Because could you imagine if we all aligned and, like, rode the same wave, we wouldn't appreciate the ups.

We wouldn't feel the downs. We wouldn't get through life. We would all just be, I didn't know, we wouldn't know anything. better, I guess, but it would be so terrible because there are people out there on the internet, obviously, or just in life in general, who I'm definitely not their cup of tea. But if I, I always think about this, if I was to walk into a room of my haters, I would not want to be their cup of tea. I would not want to align with the same things as them.

I would not probably would not like them either. So I like to think that. And then I like to think of walking into a room full of all of the love that is you guys and everybody that is so supportive. And I'm like, I know I would vibe with each and every. one of you. I'm sure I've said this on a podcast before, but I always picture that I'm a very visual person and I like to see myself walking into a room and knowing that those people that I would align with are my vibe. And so that to me is a beautiful thing. Trust your gut even when it's

full of wine and pasta. Even if your gut's like, well, I don't feel good. Well, yeah, it's just because you maybe did some wine and pasta too hard, but your gut will always tell you what's right and wrong. They say that your gut is literally aligned to your heart and to your brain. And trust your gut is not just a saying. It's an actual fact that your gut will tell you what's right and wrong. And I think deep down, we all know it. And especially women are so intuitive. And we need to trust that more. And that is a really big life lesson and advice that I would give to you. If you're the smartest person in the room, find another room. I love to be inspired by people. I have reframed. my brain over the last 10 years to not be jealous and to be inspired instead because jealousy is

literally wanting something that somebody else has. And instead of making that a negative emotion and reacting to it with negative energy and like I wish it was me and they're better than me, I've turned it into what are they doing that could inspire me? What are they doing that I could be doing better? And when you're in a room with people who are smarter than you instead of getting jealous, I would challenge yourself to get inspired. Number four, people will show you who they are, believe them. I do believe in second chances. I have been known to give people third chances if they are like family or not blood family, but feel like family. But I think the lesson here is, again, going back to trusting your gut. You know when someone shows you who they are,

you know to believe that. And I, again, give them a second chance, but third, no, sir, no ma'am. Therapy is sexy. I will go to my grave with that one. I think therapy is hot. A guy who does therapy is so hot to me. Being in tune with your feelings and emotions and knowing who you are is so hot. Not knowing who you are is now my new most unattractive feature in somebody because maybe it's because I am 40 where now I look for people who are like they've found themselves. They know who they are. They're trying to be a better version of themselves every day. That to me is so hot. And for those of you in your 20s, start now, start in your teens, start when your kids are young, whatever it is. I just think it has done wonders for me. I will always be a person who struggles with mental health.

I think that's just part of my DNA and genetics. And I think I do suffer from some depression once a month, literally once a month. But I still believe that therapy has saved my life. I don't know where I would be without it, truly. Sleep is the real fountain of youth. I'm going to show you something. My aura ring. This is ideal. Okay. My readiness score today is 86%. That is optimal. My resting heart rate was incredible. My HRV balance was incredible. Body temperature, recovery index, sleep, sleep balance, sleep regularity, previous day activity, activity balance. My sleep, get a load of this. I wonder if you can zoom 10 hours and 30 minutes now. I know mama's out there who are watching are going, fuck you, Caitlin. Bitch, I cannot even get seven hours. I get it. I'm just saying

sleep should not make you feel lazy. Sleep, especially for a woman. Think about what our body do on a daily basis and how rest can actually just regenerate your cells, metabolize better, everything in your body. I don't know. I just feel like sleep's important. I really believe I'm, I go in and out of phases where I have like good sleeps and bad sleeps, but I think that's hormones because when I'm PMSing or on my period, I will sweat the bed so like aggressively, like wet. Like, then I don't get good sleep. And then I feel like crap. I look tired. But when I rest, and I'm sorry I'm not rubbing it into people who can't sleep, I just think, or maybe your spouse makes you feel guilty about sleeping in. No, no. You want to be a better human. You want to stay youthful. Get as much sleep as you possibly can. Okay, this is a really good one. No one is thinking about you as much as you think they are. No one cares about that time you said something a week ago. Nobody's staring at you if you walk in to get dinner by yourself, go to a movie by yourself. No one cares about you as much as you think they do. The people that matter, matter. The people that don't, don't. It's as simple as that. Next one. Don't mistake red flags for fireworks. I think a lot of us, like maybe you see this guy and he's just, and you start dating and he's like a little possessive and you think that's hot because he cares and he's so obsessed with you. Don't mistake the red flags for fireworks. Sometimes the butterflies in your stomach might be your gut feeling sick saying get the fuck out. Red flag. Okay, next one is saying no is self-care. It's not.

selfish. I work on this a lot. I definitely say yes to a lot of things, but I would say, I don't know how long, but I really have been working on saying no to things that do not fill my cup. And I do feel like it has saved me a bit. Like when I say yes to everything, I'm burning out. I'm burning out. Okay, number 10 is you can't control how people treat you only how you react. Why don't I practice what you preach, Caitlin? I find that one so hard because I guess I do have a platform and people do treat me awful on there. But at the same time, when I do react to it or when I let it affect me, I've given my power away and now I've ruined my own day. And it really is in my control. It's a hard one because sometimes, like, let's say I am going

through a really tough time and I am depressed and I am hormonal. Sometimes my emotions are stronger than me and I can't control them. I truly mean that. I'm not saying that as an excuse. There are times where I feel like I get out of control with my emotions and can't reel it in or I can't pause or I can't breathe or I can't like I it's just too much. But I've accepted that that's a time of the month for me and I can be more aware of it. And if it happens, I can forgive myself quicker because before I used to hate myself for it. I used to be like, you're such a loser. Why did you break down like that? Why are you such a freak? Like control your emotions. You psycho. I used to be so mean to myself about it. Where now I go, oh, your body needs a rest. You clearly have a lot going on.

You're PMSing. Your body's going through a lot. I'm so proud of you for not letting this stop your day. Pick yourself back up or go to bed and let's try again tomorrow. I think forgiveness and grace for yourself is also a life lesson. That was part one. This is part two where it's love dating and relationship. Oh, boy. My specialty. Ding. What was that? My specialty. Let's try that again. Add a ding noise.

Okay, love. The thing that gives us butterflies and stomach ulcers at the same time. God, why are relationships so hard? Even when they're good, you go through ups and downs, relationships are hard. Friendships, love. And for those of you who don't find it hard, I'm jealous. I mean, I'm inspired. Okay. Lesson number 11. 11. Part 2, but lesson number 11. If a man or woman or human wanted to, they would. I know a lot of people don't like that theory, and I've seen mixed reactions to it, but I am a firm believer. If they want to, they will. Obviously, there's going to be exceptions to the rule, but I think just

overall, it's knowing your worth and how you deserve to be treated. And if they wanted to call you, if they wanted to date you, if they wanted to commit to you, if they wanted to marry you, if they wanted to make you happy and put you first, they would. They would. Okay, if you wanted to, you would, lesson number 12. It's same thing. Vice versa. I think it's just an important reflection and taking accountability is to put yourself in that situation too. And if you wanted to, you would. So what is that saying? If you're in a situation where you're dating someone and you're like, oh, I don't really want to be around them today or I don't want to. Take us rewind back to the old gut. Number 13, don't ever trust anyone who doesn't like dogs. Next. Number 14, don't shrink yourself.

to make someone else feel bigger. I've been guilty of doing this, but I don't think I would ever do it again. I just think if you can't live your most authentic life, if you cannot be exactly who you are, there's no one else like you. Are you guys watching Nine Perfect Strangers Season 2? Because I just keep thinking about the guy with the puppet.

There's nobody else like you. And isn't that a beautiful thing? But it's true. You have to be who you are and somebody else has to celebrate who you are. Number 15, I really like this one. Confidence is a muscle. that you have to train. It's just like me going into voice lessons the other day I was mad at myself because I was like, oh, I'm putting out this song and I want it to sound like the best I've ever

sounded. And my voice coach goes, well, have you been practicing? I'm like, no. Can't I just be good at something without practicing? But it's the same thing. She said, your vocal cords are muscle. You have to train them. You have to work them. I've been working on lifting weights for five years now, like really heavy. I see nothing but progress in my physical body and my mental strength. Like I feel it. I look it. I'm the strongest I've ever been going into 40. And that is the same thing with confidence. You have to practice it. I've said this so many times on the pod before where it's just like even if you're lying to yourself, build yourself up. You are your own best friend. And I saw something on the internet too where a girl was like, why do we need somebody to tell us? Like you're doing that amazing or you're so

beautiful. We need someone else to tell us when we can tell ourselves that. And then you start to believe it. And then you start to know it because you really are beautiful. You really are. No matter who is watching, no matter who you are, no matter what you do, no matter what you have, no matter what your age is, no matter if you're single taken, rich, poor, you are beautiful just for existing. And I think the more you tell yourselves that, the more you will believe it. And it's never too late to start that. Start building that muscle. Number 16 is, I say this. Take the trip, pack the bikini, and don't worry about the rest. Like, if there's, and I mean that of like wherever you want to travel.

If there's something on your bucket list, cross it off, write it down, and how satisfying is it to cross off something on your bucket list? Think about how satisfying it is to just cross off something on your to-do list. Now imagine a bucket list. That should be another life lesson on here is make a bucket list. Okay, number 17, healing is not linear. We all know this. It's messy and it's human.

So I try and do this even with people who are so mean to me online. I'm like, ooh, they are in a messy part of their healing where they might not even know they need to be healed. And so I have tiny bits of compassion for that. But if you're going through a heartbreak right now or if you're going through something awful, a loss, anything that you're having a really hard time with, you will heal. It will be messy. And you will get on the other end of it. There's been so many times in my life where I have, oh, gosh, it's been messy. I literally go through the craziest mess before the biggest growth.

So when you're in your healing phase and you're messy, just know like, ooh, this must mean I'm close to the other side because once you get through something hard, you feel there's some sort of empowering feeling about getting through something challenging. And that could be work related. That could be something like lifting weights. That could be something getting through a heartbreak or a big loss. See, I just went into a dark zone about losing the dogs and I could start crying right now, but I'm like, I have to know that I will heal. But in my brain, I go, I'm not going

to ever heal from that. I might not. Anyways, moving on before I go down a rabbit hole. Some friends are for a season, reason, or lifetime. This is one of my favorite thoughts. It could be a very long season there in your life. I think a lot of people feel pressure to stay best friends with their childhood best friends when they, again, might not align. You don't have to. If that person doesn't serve you, if that person isn't filling your cup, if that person doesn't feel like a safe space to you, that they could be in your life for just a season. If that boy, man, woman didn't work out for you, it was a reason. There's some sort of lesson you're going to take away from it. And then there's people like, you know, my family,

Brie, Cat, Bessie Cat, Shana, Ray, Penny. I'm thinking of all my best friends right now. And I'm like, they will be in my life for a lifetime. And I know that with no hesitation. I, Cleo even. Cleo is someone that I met at 26. If you guys haven't seen her baby, oh my God. I don't know. She rarely posts on Instagram, but her baby is so cute. Oh, I love them already so much. Klu and I have been through so much together and she will be in my life forever. She's just a doll and a good friend and a good business partner and I just love her. Number 19 is own your weird. Own your weird. Let your freak flag fly. Or if you're shy, let that fly. Cool rhyme, cool rhyme, Caitlin. But I mean it. Like if you are own your weird, own your quirks, own your more introverted self, your extroverted self, like whatever it

is own it. Because again, confidence, we all know is sexy and we got to work that muscle. And that comes with owning your weird. Number 20, vulnerability is strength with no makeup on. How good is that? Vulnerability is strength with no makeup on. It's raw. It's something that I've been working on in therapy because it's something I thought I was good at because I share so much and I'm open about so many things and I'll cry to my friends. But I didn't realize how uncomfortable I am in discomfort. I want to move through it so fast because, like, even in therapy, I'll start crying and I'll stop myself. And she's like, why are you stopping yourself? Move through it. I'm like, I don't know. It's therapy. Like I should, but I go, oh, on to the next, on to the next. And I need to learn to get more

vulnerable. If you can see ramen right now, I don't know if you can or if he walks by or if he's in a shot at any point. I had to cut up a shirt and tie it around his little butt and put a maxie pad. Oh my gosh. This is so embarrassing. Side note. Maxi pads on his butt because he got a hot spot. And they had to like drain it. Sorry. And so now I have to put this ointment on it and I tie his little thing around. But what's so embarrassing is I had a boy here and there was a maxi pad in the kitchen garbage with blood on it. But it was romans. And he didn't say anything. And then I opened the garbage and saw it. And I went, oh my God. I had put one of romans bloody maxi pads in the kitchen garbage. And I said something. I was like, just so you know. And he was like,

oh. Okay. Okay. Moving on. Part three of my 40 pieces of life advice is mental health, confidence, and growth. I feel like I've been kind of intertwining those into this anyways. But these are lessons that came from doing the inner work, which I know I've done a lot of inner child work and talked about it. And I know I've done a lot of work where I'm at now. But I am now in a phase where I'm working on my like 16 to 20. year old self that needed me, needed the version of who I am today then, which it's just so deep. It's so deep when you get to that level of therapy where you can like close your eyes and meet yourself at 16 and talk to her and give her what she needed at that time. I highly recommend

trying it. I always cry. I always cry when I close my eyes and I picture that little girl that needed me. Oh, I just feel like the inner work is, it just hits different, you know. It's when you finally choose yourself, which I think is the best thing you can do in your life. So here's my lesson 21. Jarl. Controversial. Controversial. Botox is preventative. I'm, Dr. DeBro said it. He said. He thinks Botox is great. I get the filler. I'm back and forth on that. I obviously get filler in my lips. I don't remember the last time I've got filler anywhere else. No, I don't remember last time I've got filler anywhere else. I try to just do it in my lips because I do like that. But Botox, I started when I was 26.

If I had a picture, I wish I could find one. I had severe lines on my head. I started. It was preventative. I'm sorry. And you can, that is my body, my choice, and that is your choice. This is just my advice. I love it.

Number 22, you're not behind. You're on your own timeline. We all think we are behind. If we don't have the job that we dreamt of when we're 30, if we don't have the family at 40, if we don't have this, this, this, this. But guess what? No matter where you're at. at in life, you're always going to think, oh, I should have this or I wish I had this. And you're

wasting your energy and precious, precious time. God, if you're in your 30s, you know, it's just like, my 30s are gone. And I'm going to feel even quicker in my 40s. I know it. Time just goes even quicker. The older you get, my parents were right. I thought they were always just saying that. But just know, you're on your own timeline. You are where you're supposed to be. I truly believe that. I don't feel behind. A lot of people would think, oh, she's 40 and she doesn't I feel like I'm on my own timeline and I'm exactly where I'm supposed to do to be. I really believe that. Number 23, energy is contagious. Protect yours. I've been protecting my peace for a couple years now in a different way than I usually do. And it is, I can't believe how exhausted I was.

I can't believe how exhausted I was giving out energy to things I didn't want to. It is yours. Your energy is yours and it is contagious. Please protect your energy. My next advice is speak kindly to yourself because you're listening. Again, I believe words are energy. I believe it matters how you speak to yourself. I think it matters how you speak to yourself, how you show up for one yourself, for your partner, for your children. You have to be kind to yourself. And I get, I can be so mean to myself, but you stop in the moment, turn the beat around and you be kind to yourself because words are energy. I'm going to say that again. Words are energy. They did a study. They talked negatively to a plant, a fu-can plant. And the plant like,

shriveled and wasn't as beautiful as the plant when we gave positive affirmations. And that is a plant. We are living beings. It was so much more complex than that. So just think about how much you would flourish and shine and glow if you were kind to yourself. You're more than a plant. Number 26, I asked all the Sports Illustrated models this question. I said, hot or not reinventing yourself every few years.

And I was surprised because they all said yes. And I love that. I do believe you can reinvent yourself at any age. and I do believe you can switch paths. You might have been on the wrong one, jump to the right one. I do believe you change every few years, so you want to constantly, I say this word all the time, but evolve with yourself and with the times. Back in my day, evolve with the times. I did sound old there. When in doubt, dance it out. I learned this from Aaron Trelor, who is the founder of Raw Beauty, and it is so amazing what dancing can do. And even if you're not a dancer, if I have anxiety in the

middle of the night. I'll get up and shake my body so hard. Think about dancing. There's just something about dancing that will just put you immediately in a better mode. And I'm not to try it. It's like the proof it's in the pudding. It is a real thing. My intuition coach, Courtney, who I do sessions with, we'll do Kunalini yoga. We'll do a meditation and we will dance and like punch dance. And I walk out of there just being like, freeze a bird. Number 27, closure is a scam. I don't think you need to go find closure. I think you can find it within yourself. I think you can go to therapy and do chairwork and find your own closure or just know that that's going to stay with you and what did you learn from it. You're not going to have closure and be like, I know exactly why this happened. Or maybe

you do. No, I still think it's a scam. I think it will always remain with you and you can have your own forms of closure, but don't think that that is the end all, be all with healing. Oh, I've got closure. Moving on. It's a scam. Number 28, fear and excitement feel the same. Just name it differently. So, for example, I went in to record my song the other day. I was shaking. My heart was pounding out of my chest. And it was with people who just do this every day. It's like when you think you're the only person with the vagina and you go into your OBGYN and they have to see it. And they're like, I see 80 of these a day. These people hear it all. And I'm literally shaking. So scared. But I realized I was so excited. And they really are the same feeling. So when you're scared and it's something that you really

want to do, but you're so scared, think about it as excitement and let that push you. Number 29, don't chase, attract. I don't need to go into that. I just like that. And I mean chase. I don't mean like, just don't, don't chase. Attract and accept and give. Don't chase. Number 30, you do not need to earn rest going back to beauty sleep you don't need to earn rest your body knows when you need rest and nobody should make you feel bad for it in fact people should be like go get the rest that you need because you're going to show up better for everyone if you do don't feel bad okay part four of my 40 life lessons is going to go into business boundaries and being a boss so let's talk career boundaries hustle the hustle culture i don't know how i feel about it and then the power of

walking away when something is not serving you so lesson 31 outgrow people unapologetically. You do not need to say, I know I said it earlier, but you do not need to be best friends with the person you were in high school with just because your high school best friends and you have to like be on the same page. It is okay to outgrow somebody and not feel bad about it. Even in romantic relationships, we all just have so much pressure on ourselves to be in the perfect relationship, not leave because you're at the age where you should be

getting married. We all just feel these things. and I put that into business, it is okay to outgrow people in business. Learn. It means you've learned big, valuable lessons and move on. That doesn't make you a bad person. Okay, I love this one. Hustle is cute. And it's good every once in a while and you should hustle at certain parts of your life. But alignment is cuter. Being aligned with where you're at in life, what you want to be doing, how it makes you feel is so much better than hustling and burnout. Number 33, have hard conversations before they come resentments. Again, this is in relationships too, but it could be in

business relationships. I didn't really know. I still am learning how to be a leader in certain spaces and give direction or delegate. I'm still learning so many lessons, but I'm always too scared to have hard conversations. But if I don't, it becomes resentment on their part, on my part, towards each other. And resentment is just one of the worst feelings. It's about repairing the little rips before they get to a tear that you can't repair. I just said that. That was a good one. Rewind that because I can't say it again.

Next, know what you bring to the table and don't be afraid to eat alone. I know what I bring to the table. So in business meetings, okay, for example, I'm on the board for a really important program that's near and dear to my heart. And I was in a board meeting the other day and I am not the numbers, girl. I am not the person who's going to talk about if you want to scale something or if you want to, I'm just, that's, I can hang, but I know my role in what I bring to the table. I'm going to bring my social media numbers. I'm going to bring what I can offer with what I've learned from

just being in the industry. I'm going to bring my personality. I'm going to bring some laughs. And I'm going to bring a lot of passion and hard work. So I know what I bring to the table. And it is not numbers. It is not talking about low hanging fruit. That ain't me. So know what you bring to the table. And don't be afraid to eat alone. Next one. Find someone who celebrates your chaos. Wouldn't that be nice? My friends really celebrate my chaos. I really celebrate my chaos. I think I am slowing down a bit and accepting that. But I am, I function good in chaos. I am a last minute Larry. I work well under pressure. And I'm just a little bit chaotic. And I want somebody to celebrate me for that because that is never going to change.

Okay, part five. This next chapter, I'm ready for it. Rinkles, no, but wisdom, yes. So number 36, you can be soft and strong. I don't know why I always thought I had to be pigeonholed into being someone. I am so many different things. I saw Angelina Jolie talk about being Gemini. No, we don't have two faces. We have 20. Like, I am strong. I am soft. I am insecure, I'm confident. I am so many contradicting things, but that's okay because I'm so complex and I have so much to me. You know what I mean? So you can be strong and you can cry and have mental breakdowns and cute little mentee bees and you can be all of these things at once. Number 37 is aging is a privilege that is denied to others. And that makes me want to cry because I think that's something I really

learned in Hoffman, drink every time I say Hoffman on this podcast. I just feel like I walked out of there being like, shame on me for fearing age when other people are denied that privilege. Somebody is laying in a hospital bed right now wishing they had your life. That's just powerful enough right there. Number 38, don't let likes define your life. It's hard when you're a business, so I get that. And if you're a business, but social media is just, it's such a blessing and a curse. I know everybody says that, but just don't let that define you. Don't let social media define you. Don't compare yourself.

Again, going back to the jealousy versus inspiration, try and look for that instead of just reframing your brain to think of inspired instead of jealousy. Number 39, love yourself in every phase, even the messy ones. That's what I'm saying, like how I'm so much more kind to myself now. Instead of thinking I'm a loser, I'm a child, I have temper tantrums, I have these breakdowns. I go, oh, you're just a human. you had a messy day. That's okay. Moving on. And number 40 is just an exciting one because I truly believe it at any phase of your life and the best is yet to come. You just don't know what is around the corner.

You do not know what's happening for you a week away from today, a month, a year away. You could be stuck in the rut right now and not seeing light at the end of the tunnel, but the best is ahead of you. And I am so excited for my 40s because I do believe that. I feel like my 30s taught me so much about myself from 30 to 40, I cannot believe the difference in who I am. I'm still the same, same. Same as I was. I feel like, you know, my soul is still the same. I'm still the same. Caitlin, from when I was little to now, but just, I've got to learn a new word than evolved. Hey, Siri, what are other words for evolved? Developed. I sure did develop a little later in life. Ah, they're real, real expensive. What? Where did I go? I don't remember.

where I was. How did I get to my boobs? Develop. Oh, evolved. Oh. We're back from 30 to 40. I have developed just in every way possible. And I'm just like, God, if I feel this good at 40, how good am I going to feel at 50? If I keep on this path of believing in myself, reframing my brain, learning who I am, sitting in the uncomfortable, finding the right person. Like, I am on my own path. And it doesn't have to look like yours and yours doesn't have to look like mine. The best is yet to come. Okay. I don't even know what my goals are in my 40s because I had so many goals in my 30s and I accomplished them and I'm just like, high five myself for that. I want to reap the benefits. I want to be proud of myself. I want to just stay aligned with what makes me happy. This podcast makes me so

happy. Being in the hosting world makes me so happy. And I just want to trust myself even more to just be who I am and let the right things come to me. I'm done. No, I'm not done with the hustling. Again, it's cute, but I want to say aligned, which is cuter. I want to keep choosing peace over people pleasing. I would love to write more music. I think that's probably my biggest goal of my 40s is I see how happy it makes me. Even if it doesn't go anywhere, like just writing music or going to writing sessions and singing, like it just, it brings me so much joy. Same with dancing. All my bucket list still is writing a book. I think writing a book would be scary because I'm just at a place where, again, protecting my peace is one thing. And then sharing stories.

where I'm like, ooh, that's, that's tea. It's good for a book, but I still want to feel aligned. So I have to find a way of doing it. I want to find a way of writing a book where it's from a better perspective and a healthy mindset while still speaking my truth. And then I just want to travel to a new country that I have never been to in my 40s. I'd really like to go to Japan. I think that's next on my bucket list. So again, whether you're 20, 30, 40, 50, 60, 70, 80, I hope something in this episode resonated with you. I hope something landed with you. I hope it made you feel seen or reminded you that you're doing fine and that you are loved and that you are worthy just by being you. 40 doesn't feel like the end of an era. It feels like the beginning of

something for me. I feel I feel really hyped on 40. I don't know why. And maybe it's because I really did tell myself through my later 30s like, don't fear it. Embrace it. And again, because I just feel my best. really do feel my best self. It's the start of a new era. It's not the end of any chapter. Sure, the 30s are closed, but this next chapter of my life is really exciting to me. So more freedom, more fun, more knowing my worth, and who the hell I am. Because I'm great. I am smart. I am beautiful. I am worthy. Okay. Just thank you. Thank you guys for going with me, sticking with me through everything, letting me be my full weird, authentic self. I feel like you guys always celebrate me. And I'm going to go shoot

this cover art and not overthink it. I can't wait for you guys to hear the song. Hopefully it's out today. I'm trying my best because I told Mel Robbins, but I do have the song. I did record it. I did write it. And it is in the works. It's more now waiting on the logistics back end of things for it to enter your ear holes. I can't wait for you to download it. I can't wait for you to listen to it. And my most important message from the song is if you're in it and you listen to the song and you're sobbing saying it's me, I am encouraging you to free yourself from that feeling and get out. I love you all. Happy 40th to me. And I love you. Thank you. Thank you for everything that you've given me over the last 10 years as well.