Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Solo Dolo: The Golden Wedding, Ins & Outs Lists + a GAIN Meditation

Episode Date: January 9, 2024

#701. Kaitlyn is having one of those days, Vinos. You know, the kind where you record a full 40 minutes and then find out you forgot to press record. Yeahhhh, one of those. BUT, she pulled it together for today’s pod and is joining us from the comfort of her couch. Without having a full pity party, she explains how she has been sick the last few days and down for the count. On the bright side, being a couch potato has allowed her to binge-watch The Crown on Netflix and come up with a pretty decent ins & outs lists for us. Plus, she gets into some behind-the-scenes of The Golden Wedding last week and shares her thoughts on The Golden Globes. To wrap it up, Kaitlyn brings on Stanford Professor, physician, and author Dr. Greg Hammer to lead us all in his GAIN meditation practice. It’s a jam-packed episode — And, she had to record it twice while she was sick... KB deserves some props! Mark your calendars for the next Big Book Guys discussion about 'The Perfect Marriage' on January 31st with the author, Jeneva Rose. Check out more from Dr. Greg Hammer at www.GregHammerMD.com.   Thank you to our amazing sponsors! Check out these deals, vinos: QUINCE: Go to Quince.com/vine for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. BETTER HELP: Visit BetterHelp.com/vine today to get 10% off your first month. THRIVE MARKET: Go to ThriveMarket.com/OTV for 30% off your first order, plus a FREE $60 gift! PROGRESSIVE: Quote your car insurance at Progressive.com. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Okay, let's talk about the original enemies to lovers story. Before all of our reality TV couples, before the rom-coms, we binge, there was Elizabeth Bennett and Mr. Darcy in pride and prejudice. And Audible has just dropped a brand new original that will have you completely hooked, I am. It's not just any audiobook. This is a full cast performance. So Marisa Abella, you might know her from industry, brings Elizabeth Bennett to life.

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So whether it's your first time experiencing Pride and Prejudice or you've read it a million times, you're going to fall absolutely in love all over again. So go listen to Pride and Prejudice now at audible.ca slash Jane Austen. Off the line. Oh, I can't believe I did that. I seriously cannot believe I didn't hit record. Okay. I just recorded a whole podcast. podcast on here and I felt like I really like opened up and shared stuff. I did some research and like

feeling sick actually mimics depression and I haven't been able to get out of bed and I've just been feeling really down and thank you Pino. I was having camera issues and I fainted earlier. I tried to take the dogs for a walk and I came back and I got down on my hands and knees to like try and get their leashes off and I fainted and I woke up in a pool of sweat and I'm just like and anyways this is all like poor me part poor me but I've just been kind of of going through a rough week and trying to just figure out why things are building up inside of me and I really feel silly when I get depressed because I what more could I have in my life but I guess that goes to show that depression can happen to people it can happen to to people who think they

don't have enough for people who think they have enough for people like I'm so grateful every day I wake up in this new home so grateful I look at these dogs I'm so grateful I do a gratitude journal i don't mean to have a pity party i'm just for some reason mentally and physically struggling in the last week it does help me to show up for this podcast it does it holds me accountable and i know that people at home are wanting to hear from me i don't know why i have therapy tomorrow and i'll talk about this later but i did a rage journal i'm just sick and down and i'm sorry thank you for accepting me and I'm literally going to get into this podcast now okay I've obviously been a couch potato for a couple days now what I really actually have really enjoyed seeing on

people's social media is the ins and outs like what you've seen them I'm sure 24 what's in what's out and so I thought I would read some of my favorites in definitely gratitude I'm constantly having to remind myself of what I'm grateful for and gratitude really does help me in so many ways morning and night reading big in for me i'm reading the inmate right now and we'll talk about book club a little further into this podcast which i feel like i'm going to repeat myself on so many things now um red lipstick i would like to thank queen taylor swift for just really committing to the red lips and her bangs like if anyone can commit to bangs for that long like they really are a true hero a queen a boss just makes her so like i don't know sweet and

innocent i'm like she's still rocking bangs usually after bangs i'm like never again she just commits to the bangs and the red lip and i just love her for it red wine it's in for me 24 red wine i just I just love a glass of red. I will say out. I'm not loving getting drunk. I'll get to that. In songwriting, I have been trying to get out my feels on paper or in my note section, and it really helps. I think I mentioned this early, but who knows if this is on the first podcast or the last one or this one?

I don't know. But I did a rage journal. And I realized that. I've been holding on to a lot of anger, which I do realize I do that every once in a while, but a lot of resentment and anger, and I've had big feelings coming out. So I did a rage. I roared. I roared out loud. I actually roared out loud and screamed. I wrote out all the noise that I have in my head, and then I wrote out what's true in my heart. And that really helped. Big in for me writing. Another in. Press on nails. I love them. These are quickies.

I lost my thumb, but that's because they've been on for one week, and I ripped it on my suitcase, my own bad. Just going outside. I mean, today I shouldn't have gone outside. It made me faint. I did too much while being sick. But just like breathing in fresh air and being outside is a big in for me. The let them philosophy, whatever you want to call it, Mel Robbins. She says let them.

If your friends are going out to brunch, they don't invite you. Let them. This person, the feelings aren't reciprocated. Just let them. I think it's such a good mentality to have. It's kind of like, remember when I had Whitney Bischoff, now Whitney Angel on the podcast years ago? And she said, so what? It's kind of that same thing.

I kind of want to tattoo it on, like, well, my face, but maybe the arm is more realistic. Naps. Did I already say that? I mean it. To be honest, out sleeping in. In naps. I want to be that girl that wakes up at 6 a.m. does her thing and then has a little nap round two, a little siesta.

a big in for me is courage i really like that word for 2024 the courage to do things scared to show up anyways i just think it's like the coolest thing to show up scared and have the courage to do something and then see how you feel after because 99% of the time you won't regret it another in for me is learning from people that i am inspired by instead of comparing um i've been really focusing on that lately another in for me stretching. Get up and stretch. I feel taller. I feel leaner. I just feel like it does something to start your day. Stretching, beginning or end of your night. It's in for me. It's a yes for me. Out. Uncomfortable clothing. Why are we still wearing uncomfortable clothing?

Doom scrolling. I feel like I've been really, as soon as I catch myself getting annoyed at something, I go, stop. I just throw my phone. Stop with the doom scrolling. It's out. hair extensions don't ever let me do it again just don't clipins have never done me dirty i need to stick with those don't let me do extensions i have a bald spot again this happens every single time i do extensions i'm going to be doubling down on neutral fall because that shit works but extensions do not work for me they're out okay let's rock the natural i'm cutting my hair into a bob and if i want some long hair i'll clip them in another out i would say is negative self-talk we said last podcast no shitting on yourself in 2024 um even though i'm having a

pity party and in a little funk of depression and having a lot of big feelings i still am trying not to shit on myself or shit myself another out for me is saying yes to things i don't want to do i think that's one that we're all learning how to do but it's an out okay my last out is over filtering a photo i live for a little this teza act I like when it's like looks like an old school camera that's fine with me um lightning a photo like making a little brighter not so dark sure but like the over filters actually I think I used one today because I feel sick see that's got to go it's it's out also while I've been out speaking about I've been out on the couch and binge watching shows the crown season six

you guys they really did hairy dirty on it they really did them dirty I nobody treats my prince harry like that prince william looks fire though i mean he has one fine piece of ass back in his day um but harry i'm like they made him nothing against buck teeth but harry didn't have buck teeth and they're making them have buck teeth in the crown and they're making him just like a wanker like i know he was but i don't know i just feel like they're doing them dirty i heard that the person who writes the crown like is actually close to the royal family so i wonder if they're like, yeah, Harry. I just love the queen.

I think she's a wonderful queen. Terrible mother, but wonderful queen. Oh, don't cancel me for that. I don't know if that is cancel worthy, but another out, cancel culture. Wow. You know what I am watching right now, which everybody suggested on my Instagram post that I asked what I should be watching is, fool me once. I'm on episode three.

Edge of my seat. It's a good one. I also watch the Golden Globes, which, cable TV seems like an out for me, but I had to see Taylor Swift rocking the bangs and the red lips and gossiping. My favorite is when there's, you got like professional lip readers out there now who are showing what she says and she said, no fucking way, dude. I love her. No fucking way, dude. I'm going to start saying that all the time. I love it. But it's so stupid how much gossip has started from I'm like, God, gone are the days where you can just gossip with your girlfriends.

If it's on TV, it's on the internet, it's all over. And now they're reading lips and assuming what you're gossiping about. Apparently, Kylie and Timmy, Selena wanted a picture with Timmy and Kylie said no. Taylor said, no, what I did. I'm just like, let everybody live, you guys. It's crazy. It is so crazy what people care about and, like, how they can just turn on you. Like, I feel like people are just turning on Taylor now for gossiping.

I'm like, just let her gossip. God. I love how they. The Taylor Swift joke didn't land, though. She was like, okay, enough of making the NFL about me. Sips her champagne. Queen. I finally watched the Barbie movie, which obviously won cinematic and box office achievement.

I watched it on the plane. I loved it. I cried three times, beginning, middle, and end. The speech about how hard it is to be a woman, I'm like, only women would understand that. Men probably would roll their eyes. I just loved it. I thought it was so well done. Ryan Gosling is incredible.

I just loved it all. I loved it all. I want to know what you guys thought. It's like kind of old news now, but because the Golden Globes were on, I'm like, it's kind of back in my memory and just because I watched it on a plane. But I want to know if you guys loved it or hated it. I feel like there's no in between. And also I just love Jennifer Lawrence. Do you see her mouth? Like if I don't win, I'm out of here. I'm like, queen of comedy. She's just so naturally funny and edgy and graceful and beautiful. And I just love her. She seems so funny. I've got to make a list of like, like, like J-Law, Taylor Swift, Amy Schumer, America Ferreira, call me.

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Please play responsibly. If you have questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you, please contact Connix Ontario at 1866-531, 2,600, to speak to an advisor free of charge. But MGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with Eye Gaming, Ontario. Speaking of Golden, I've got a golden on me. We were just talking about the Golden Globes, and I was at the Golden Bachelor wedding, where I for sure got this sickness from. I had a at-home doctor come in yesterday, and I tested negative for the flu and negative for COVID.

And everybody was telling me I was at a super spreader wedding, but really you guys I was on a super spreader plane the last like however many weeks I'm always on a plane there's more people on a plane than at this wedding anyways it was beautiful it was a magical night um I really hope jesse is okay because obviously his wife was going into labor while he was hosting and a lot of us got sick from the wedding so jesse honestly teas and peas for you and your family and congratulations if you've had the baby I really hope that you didn't get sick I've been worried about Jesse, to be honest with you because of that. It was just a wild night. I got to, it felt like a big, huge family reunion where it's like, you want to see a lot of people, you don't want to

see some people, it's fun, it's funny, it's, you're dancing, you're drinking, you're reminiscing. You can all have this common bond of weirdness and people get engaged at other people's weddings and it's not weird because it's the bachelor and there are no rules and what applies in bachelor doesn't apply to the outside world. People get mad about it, but really it's like, for TV and that's why we all love TV. But yeah, it started with the cocktail hour. I was tried to avoid like I did not want to do any red carpet interviews, not that I'd have anything to say or that they want to ask me about. But I was like, I'm not doing any interviews. I don't want to look like I'm finding the camera. And then all of a sudden I'm eating a meatball. And they're like, we're going

live in 30 seconds. And I see Jesse in front of me. And I'm like, cool, cool. And did I know what I was doing? Yes. But I was also awkward because the meatball tray had just come around. And I was like, might as well just look right down the barrel and eat my meatball. Even though the showrunner who probably hates me now, he was like, no, looking at the camera. And I'm like, oh, stare down the barrel and eat my meatball. Got it. But yeah, so Christina and Brayden got engaged and they're moving to Nashville. So hopefully I can get them on the podcast and we could talk about their engagement and what they plan on doing. We partied with them pretty hard after they're, they're so fun. They're a fun couple. I actually talked to her today and Braden has the same sickness that I do,

even though she told me he's puking now now I'm scared I don't want to throw up I got to meet Kathy who I just think is a hoot Kathy is a hoot one of the producers was like Caitlin Kathy is you in 30 years and I was like you mean an unpredictable firecracker who like you don't know what's going to come out of her mouth and she's just like double-fifty mimosa's yes I aspire to be a Kathy when I'm older Charity and Dawn and I got to sit by them at the wedding I thought Charity did so well on the red carpet she's just like beauty she is grace she is and dotten is just like a king like a self-aware sturdy man confident lifts her up lets her be her oh i just love them i love them i think they're perfect for each other

um i thought the vows were special my favorite part of the wedding it's always the vows and i just think their love is teresa gary's love is pure i believe it i truly believe it that was my favorite was just like the raw emotion the love the families love each other it felt like a real special wedding. It was really a magic, like, it felt magical. And then after they had the guy singing, oh my God, the guy from old school who sang like, I need you more than ever, he was saying he's so bad, but like comedic relief. I loved it. Then we went to the, I don't know, the reception where ABC cameras were in there and like, I hope they didn't get footage because my double-sided tape was not double-sided taping. It was not double-sided taping. It did me dirty.

And at one point a producer came up and swiped my dress over because my flower nipple was showing. You know, there's like, oh my God, look at all that dog hair from just scratching him. Oh, no. Why do I wear black? Oh, wow. Oh, wow. A producer came over, was like, and I looked at my, the nude color, like, flower nip cover was just like flopping around. Yeah, right.

I don't have big enough boobs to flop, but they were like, you know what I mean? but we danced with Gary and Teresa and the whole like bachelor nation was out on the dance floor and just like I don't know everybody was just having the time of their lives like literally singing at the top of our lives don't stop believing through the whole night had an after party I switched a lot of time with Joey who's the next bachelor I'm telling you I wasn't going to watch but like he's so sweet I feel like I'm rooting for him I'm not spoiling it actually I don't really know spoilers but even if I did I wouldn't spoil it for any of you I just truly want him to be happy and I am I don't know if I'm going to watch, actually, but he was lovely. And it was so nice to see, like, Dez and Molly and Jason, Dez's husband, Chris, what a beauty. He was so funny. Always nice to see Trista and Ryan. I just, I love Rachel. I love Michelle.

I just love seeing it. Wells and Ben Higgins are two of my favorite Bachelor Nation people. I feel like they know how to have a good time. They also, like, they're able to bring me out of a funk while being like, Kailen, what do you expect, like, from this world? Like, have fun. Let the trolls. let the haters hate like you're living a good life and i'm like thank you guys like they just they're good at reality checks they're good friends wells help me cut my double-sided tape

good friends ben made me eat when i was maybe needed not another glass of champagne actually i think i got sick from drinking i drank a glass of champagne i didn't know who it was whose it was that's embarrassing confession maybe but it went until two in the morning and i'm telling you what at two in the morning i went back to my room and i ordered macdonald and if you've ever been to La Quinta, you know that it takes a golf cart to get to your room. And I messaged the postmates driver. I said, sir, I will tip you so well if you find room 8,89.

My body for tomorrow needs these chicken nuggies more than you know. And he did. And I gave him a nice tip. And I said, thank you, sir. And I took my nuggies. Let's be honest, I also ordered fries. And also my favorite of fish filet with no cheese, add shredded lettuce. And I scarf that down.

And it was everything. But yeah, we had a great time. I'm so happy for Gary and Teresa. I absolutely love their families, too. And everything was just really, really fun. Even if it meant, even if it meant I got sick. Big book guys update.

I'm so excited. I feel like we took a little bit of time off because it was the holidays and everyone's busy and traveling. And January, everyone's kind of playing catch up. So January 31st, Market Year calendars. We're doing big book club. It's the book, the perfect marriage. I'm going to have to go back and do cliff notes or something because it feels like a long time ago. I'm on like my third book from that.

But I'm excited because I'm hoping to get Geneva Rose to join us. I heard she's a Vino. Yeah, right? Fingers crossed for that one. I know I mentioned last week about Vino Confessions. So I want to know your dirty secrets. I want to know your best, most cringe-worthy, embarrassing first date stories. Email them to Off the Vine podcast at gmail.com or send them into DMs on Offthe-Vine.

Instagram. Worst, weirdest, cringy, embarrassing, weird, out-of-pocket things that have happened on a first date. And I'll keep them anonymous so you can just let her rip. Solo episodes. I've gotten some really nice feedback about the solo episodes, which makes me so happy. Any questions or anything you want to know with me, send them into Off the Vine podcast at gmail.com or the DMs again on Instagram. I'll try to answer as many as I can. And then this Thursday is 1-1. I love learning the meanings of numerology. I found out the meaning of my house address, the numerology, and I almost fell over because it was just like, holy shit, of course it is. I'm bringing spirit daughter on the pod to tell us what one-one-one-one-one because when this podcast comes out with her, it'll be

one-one-one. And it's the first new moon of the year that day. So, you know, I love the moon. You know I love the moon. I really want to get my new moon ritual down this year. I always want to get more knowledgeable about numerology, new moons, moons in general, astrology. I saw a meme on Instagram that was like, men make fun of women for believing in astrology and having our charts read, but you guys have your cute little fantasy football leagues. I used my intuition and crystals to be in a fantasy football league once, and I almost won. So I also saw something that said, if men bled from their penises when it matched up with the moon, you'd believe in this shit too. I loved it. So we're going to find out what the,

this new moon is bringing us. So stay tuned for that. I'd also like to end this podcast with a short interview that I had with a Stanford professor, physician, and author, Dr. Greg Hammer. Great name. He came on and introduced his four-step meditation process, which I've been doing. It's called gain. It's an acronym. So it stands for gratitude, acceptance, intention, and non-judgment. And it's kind of perfect for things I've talked about and felt. I always love learning like a new style of meditation or new forms of gratitude and I want you to like save this for later if you're like in some kind of moving vehicle or whatever it is I want you to save this and come back to it or do it with us right now but just like put a reminder in your phone or something because he did this with me and

I instantly felt lighter better I've been using it through this last week of being in my feels and yeah I like thinking about what I'm grateful for and I like meditating and I like breathing and I always want to hear what you guys are grateful for. So maybe we could start a little gratitude on the Facebook group. I really like getting in there on the Facebook. Most of the time I like getting in there on the Facebook group and just seeing what you guys are saying and hear your stories. And it just feels like I am, I know I'm like the host of this

and the creator of that Facebook page. But sometimes I actually like feeling like I'm a member of that community because it feels really special most of the time. Okay, so I just, I'll end it with this meditation from Dr. hammer but thank you for um without knowing it you hold me accountable and sometimes like even having to redo this podcast right now like i i started it by thinking this is the worst thing in the world that i had to redo it but i i feel lighter after i do it it's like i don't know there's something um i don't know why i trust you guys so much i just do and even though i'm staring down

at a little camera hole like i feel like i feel like i feel like i feel like i feel your energy watching me and being with me like here. I know that sounds cheesy as I mean it. I actually mean it. So thank you. And I'm sorry for how this podcast started. No, I'm not. I practice and teach a kind of meditation called the G-A-I-N.

And it starts like many forms of meditation with the breathing. So we can practice this right now if you want. If you close your eyes, and I'll close my eyes, so no cheating. Now just slowly breathe in through your nose, fill your chest, fill your abdomen, breathe into your abdomen, maybe to a slow count of three. You're breathing in through your nose, and then pause to a slow count of three, and then let the breath out without effort, but slow it down to a count of four. So in through your nose to a count of three, pause to a count of three, and slowly exhale without effort to a count of four.

And breathe deeply, really fill your lungs, breathe into your belly, feel your body expanding, in through your nose, pausing, and out through your nose or mouth, slowly. And just repeat this a few more times. So when you practice that breathing, your heart rate will begin to slow down. I can feel that. Your blood pressure will get lower in a good way. Your blood sugar, even if you're not monitoring it, will get a little lower. So that's why when people say take a breath, I mean, that may be literally curious. And in the game meditation, what we do is we start off with this breathing, three seconds in, three seconds pausing, four seconds out, and then we transition to focusing our thoughts. And then we begin to contemplate that for which we're grateful. I'm grateful for this wonderful place. I have the opportunity to live. I'm lucky. I have a roof over my head. I live in a safe place. I'm so grateful for my two dogs with who.

whom I share so much love. I'm so grateful for my health. So we link that to the breath. Then we go to the A and gain, which is acceptance. And this is an acknowledgement that the world does not always comport with our wants and needs. And that's just life. Life has pain. Life has discomfort. So we may actually think of something uncomfortable or painful, maybe a conflict with a friend or a family member, maybe loss of someone we love. And then we bring that experience closer and closer sort of starts out here. We bring it closer and closer. We open our chest. We actually bring it into our heart. We imagine opening our heart, bringing this experience into our heart, sitting with it, nurturing it, and linking this to the breath. And if we ask

ourselves the question at some point, can I live with this pain forever? The answer is yes. And we go back to the breath. And then we move toward the eye and gain, which is intention. And our brains are wired to have a difficult time experiencing the present moment. And we have a negativity bias. We tend to remember negative things and forget positive things. So we start by just going to our breath and focusing on our current. sensations, the pressure of the chair against my body, my dog's chain jingling as he walks across the room. We focus on our present experiences. And then we focus on our intention to be more positive, to see the bright side so that when we have negative thoughts, we can quickly think of the

sort of paired positive side of that. And we pledge to be more generous, more compassionate, more kind. This is our intention. And again, we link this to the slow, deep breathing. And then we go to the N and gain, which is non-judgment. And we're always judging everything around us, and often negatively, especially we self-judge. So here we might think of an image of the Earth, apparently suspended in space, one of these beautiful NASA images. And it's clear that the Earth is neither good nor bad. the earth is just a planet so it's only logical for me to think i too am just a human being

i'm just the person that i am i'm neither good nor bad i'm just the person that i am and then we kind of sit with this i amness with the breath we link it to the breath and then we just return our focus purely to the breath the slow inhalation the pausing the slow exhalation and we continue that until it's time to just slowly open our eyes and we're ready to go out in the world. It sets our thought processes up so that when we're being ungrateful or resisting something uncomfortable or we're lapsing into our old habits of being negative and overly focused on the past or the future or we're being judgmental, a light bulb goes off and we realize we're doing this and we can have a laugh to ourselves. Maybe we get a little dopamine hit when we realize we're

judging some other driver because they change lanes without using their turn signal. So we just drop the judgment. We smile and we go back to the breath for a few breaths, even when we're driving or walking or whatever we're doing. And the breath is always accessible. You can always just go back to the breath. And after you have this practice for a while, when you go to your breath, these other things come to you, this gratitude, acceptance, intention, non-judgment. And it just sort of re-centers you. And what you're doing is you're actually rewiring your brain. You're rewiring your brain from being that negative, overly focused on the past, overly focused on the future self, for which you're hardwired. We all are. You're rewiring. You're rewiring.

that to be more positive and more present. Little by little, baby steps. All of my listeners are going to want to like write that down. Luckily, they'll have this to come back to and listen to. Do you offer like a practice? Is there somewhere like people can go and get your book and go to your website and work on that? Because I think it's, I mean, obviously the world would be such a better place if we all did those kinds of things, right? Yeah, they can go to my website, which is gregghammermd.com, G-R-E-G-H-A-M-M-D.com. There's a link to my book on Amazon, which is Gain Without Pain. So those are two ways that people can reinforce this practice.

I'm going to take that practice with me and do a gain tomorrow morning. I'm Caitlin Bristow. I'll see you next Tuesday. Thank you.