Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Spring Break tour Boston Boozy Brunch

Episode Date: April 2, 2019

For her first of two shows in Boston Kaitlyn hangs out with NY Times best selling author, former lawyer, and star of season 10 of the Bachelorette Andi Dorfman! Join in the tequila fueled fun as Kaitlyn and Andi talk about growing after their relationships from the show, we find out why it might be okay to make out with your lyft driver in Los Angeles, and the ladies take time to answer questions from the audience. F Factor - Check out FFactor.com and enter Vine15 for $15 off your first purchase See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Okay, let's talk about the original enemies to lovers story. Before all of our reality TV couples, before the rom-coms, we binge, there was Elizabeth Bennett and Mr. Darcy in pride and prejudice. And Audible has just dropped a brand new original that will have you completely hooked, I am. It's not just any audiobook. This is a full cast performance. So Marisa Abella, you might know her from industry, brings Elizabeth Bennett to life.

And Harris Dickinson from Baby Girl and Where the Crawdads Sing is Mr. Darcy. And honestly, the chemistry, you guys, it's everything. Plus, you've got icons like Glenn Close, Bill Nye and Will Polter in the mix. Talk about a dream cast. Now, what I love is how Marissa pulls you right into Lizzie's world, her stubbornness, her wit, her messy family dynamics, and of course, her complicated feelings for Darcy. And with a vibrant new adaptation and original score by Grammy-nominated composer, it just feels so fresh and modern while still keeping that timeless Jane Austen charm.

So whether it's your first time experiencing Pride and Prejudice or you've read it a million times, you're going to fall absolutely in love all over again. So go listen to Pride and Prejudice now at audible.ca slash Jane Austen. Get ready for lots of laughs. Tabby topics. Unfiltered advice and wine. Lots of wine. Get ready to shake things up. Here's Caitlin.

Hey guys. You guys ready for a boozy brunch? I'm not going to lie. I had a shot of tequila before I came out here. Because I was about to get the nervous poops. And I was like, don't do it. The onesie is not going to happen. It's like a whole tie-up thing back here.

So I'm holding it in. Ew. And drinking with you guys. Cheers. I always have to ask. Oh, wait, we got a drink after our cheers. It's rude if you don't do that. I always have to ask how many men are in the crowd tonight?

Okay. Okay. Two. Okay. Three? One in the back. They're just here for the food. Let's be real.

They're here for the food. And because they're girlfriends or wives promise them a blowjob later. Am I right? So much awkward laughter. Yeah, she did say that. I better get it. I understand. Yeah. That's every time I start a live podcast, there's like,

I mean, usually, this is a small guy crowd, but usually there's like four. And I always say, I'm like, what did they do to get you here? And you will soon find out why you will be uncomfortable during this whole thing. I talk about tampons. I'm looking you right in the eye when I say it, too. Where's the other one?

I talk about swass. I had swass for the first time the other day. Drugs. I'll never forget that one. I had drugs. In Calgary, I don't know what it was where I was just making cocaine jokes. A lot of them.

Not just one. Like a few. I don't know if I was just reading my audience. I was like, Alberta, they need drugs. I don't know. For some reason, kept making cocaine jokes. Not funny, Caitlin. They laugh, though. Again, read your audience. What's Boston got? What's Boston's thing?

Are you guys like Chowda? You hate that. You hate that, don't you? Go Celtics. Am I right? Oh, yeah. Yeah. That was a bigger reaction than I was expecting. It was Kyrie Irving's birthday yesterday. I wore his jersey on stage. It was a thing. You're such a basketball fan, aren't you? He's that really hot guy that you like. Oh, Kevin Love. I love him. Oh, wait. What? Who's the other one? Jailum Brown. He's cute, too. I mean, Kyrie Irving is so bay. Who? Kyrie Irving.

Placed with Celtics, point guard. Arguably the best point guard in the league. I'm Canadian. I'm like, is that a hockey player? She's like, I only care about hockey. I actually have funny stories about Milan Lucchich, if you guys wanted to hear those. I'm friends with his wife, and that guy parties, man. He parties.

Hey, guys, we're going to take a quick break from the live show to tell you about F Factor. So let's face it, we all either have those stubborn five pounds we can't seem to lose or perhaps you're looking to really transform your body. I'm not sure if you guys have heard about F factory yet, but if not, I'm sure you will soon. It's the most popular diet on the East Coast right now created by celebrity dietitian Tanya Zuckerbrot, who has worked with Olivia Culpo, Dylan Lauren, and even Megan Kelly. Basically from day one of this program, you get to eat carbs, dine out, enjoy cocktails, and even work out less, all while achieving your health and weight loss goals.

Sounds perfect, right? So I've been using the F-Factor's 20-20 fiber protein powder to make the most thick and delicious smoothies, which I swear tastes like a creamy milkshake, but it actually rives up your metabolism and it helps you burn fat. And what's great is that you can also use the powders as an ingredient to make high fiber, high-protein, lattes, muffins, pancakes, and my latest obsession, I know you guys have seen it on my Instagram stories because it's beautiful looking to. Huge Belgian waffles. Yeah, you heard that right?

you get to eat the most delicious high volume satisfying foods that keep you full for hours and helps you lose weight it's the most simple thing and you just replace flour with this protein powder the waffles taste delicious like they've got a little hint of vanilla it's amazing eating the f factor weight gives me so much energy throughout the day keeps me regular and my tummy flat and it has helped me stay fit without the hunger deprivation or denial it has been so liberating for me can't stress it enough how easy it is to follow and learn more about f factor and start looking and feeling your best effortlessly. At ffactor.com, get $15 off your first purchase with Code Vine 15.

That's V-I-N-E-15 at F-Factor.com. Okay, you guys know who my guest is? Yes! I'm so excited. Today's guest is a New York Times best-selling author. Not a big deal. Former lawyer, the star of seasons 10, The Bachelorette, and all-around badass bitch.

Put your hands together for Andy D'Rfman! That's you. Get out here. How hot is her outfit? She was like, I didn't bring many options. And I'm like in this denim onesie that's like a little big on me. And I was like, and he looks so hot. I just like emptied an entire duffel bag. Yeah, she had a duffel bag full of like really nice clothes.

And I was like, well, yeah. I don't have, I mean, the last. Tags on him. I ran to Zara yesterday. He's like, oh, I love Zara. I know. last two shows I was wearing like sweats so I'm really stepping it up for you guys

today and I've learned that if oh you look hot I've learned that if nothing is landing with the crowd today you just say go Celtics I heard booze and hockey players and I was like I'm in the right spot Jason's calling me right now and he knows I'm in the middle of the podcast

he's starting to like the attention he's getting well he just he probably just realized I'm going to call him back on speaker What's his name on your phone? How we doing? Now you just know to call in the middle of like, you're like, she's on, I better call so she can pick out. I was going to call to give you a pregame speech.

I didn't know you were on there already. Okay, wait. This guy gives the best pregame speeches you've ever heard in your career of pregame speeches. Give the people what they want. Give me what you usually tell me. You can swear. All right, let's go. All right, so you are in Boston right now, and everybody in Boston loves Caitlin Rich.

So you be the best version of yourself, and you go pick some acting. And? And I miss you, and you're the most beautiful person in the world. Oh, my God. You are the cutest. I thought you were going to be like, and let's fucking go. I know. All right, you guys have a blast out there.

Okay. Thank you. He loves you Boston. Okay, bye. Bye. That's so funny. I usually FaceTime him in the middle. Like, I like to catch him off guard.

And he gets so politically correct and, like, doesn't know what to say. Like, one time I was like, yeah, do I taste like pineapples? And he was, like, in front of everybody. It's like my mom watches this, which she does. And he was like, I don't. get it. I'm like, you get it. You know you get it. We just talked about this last night. Yeah. Don't pretend now.

I didn't freaking overdose on pineapple for nothing. You dick. No, you're really nice. You know the pineapple thing, right? We had tequila before this. Yeah, I told them I was like, we had tequila and I always warn people too. My live podcasts are much more aggressive

than what you hear on Off the Vine. Like, I like it. I just really go there. It might be the tequila shots, but I think I feed off a crowd? Like when I'm in a studio, I'm like, oh, yeah, and just one guest. It's just you and the other person, yeah. Yeah, and then one time Jason

introduced me to his buddies and he was like, who are you? I was like, I feed off a crowd. There was a crowd. I was like, be, be, wee, weo, wee, whew. It was a lot. Anyways. Andy, thanks for coming today. You made a little train trip.

I know. A little train trip to good old Boston. Yeah, have you been before? I'm assuming. Yeah, I love Boston. I love Boston, too. There's something about, how many people here are actually from Boston? A lot. Oh, wow.

Okay. Any New Yorkers? Did you take the train? Okay. I was from upstate. Wait, where is everybody from? Nice. D.C., Denver.

Ohio. Texas. Ooh, southern. Anyone from Canada? Really? In the back. Yeah. We need the Canadians up front.

Wait, where are you from again? Pittsburgh. What's up? I know where that is on the map now, because I've been studying. True Canadian right there. If you were American and said that, we'd all be like, she's a dumb ass. Of course.

You've got to remind you're thinking it. I'm Canadian, and I didn't know where Pittsburgh was. What, you don't know where Pittsburgh is? No, I said I was still kind of thinking you were an idiot for not knowing. Oh, okay. Well, I'm going to put you two to the test right now and see if you can put where the provinces are in Canada. You can't do that. You might be surprised.

Really? Actually, you're pretty fucking smart. No, I've just been to a few provinces. Uh, hockey players? No. Oh, just kidding. Is there anything else in Victoria? No.

Oh. There's nothing else in Canada besides... I gotta stop telling you all my stories, actually. I'm like, wait, you should make me sign like some sort of NDA when you tell me a story. I know, right? Because you tell me a lot, and then I never know what I can share and what I can't. You can share everything. Okay, great.

Have we got a story? So for you. Drink up, girl. Drink up, everybody. Hey, cheers again. Now that Andy's out here. Cheers to Boston. Cheers to Boston.

I see a lot of mimosas going out in the crowd. That's, I mean. Do you have guys here? My mom calls it a breakfast drink. Oh, we got one. What? We got two. I was looking at, I was like the, oh, three.

And you guys can eat two? No, the guys. Oh. Oh, this is like a full-on, like, brunch. Wow. Okay, that's cool. Have you ever been to, like, the gospel brunches? What's a gospel brunch?

Has anyone here been to a gospel brunch? Oh, they do them in like Tennessee, like Nashville has them, Vegas. I live there. I don't know what you're talking about. It looks like this and then, do you know what I'm talking about? No. It looks like this and they have like this whole gospel performance and you're just like getting drunk and eating brunch food. I don't know.

This reminded me of that. So like church but plus alcohol. So a lit church minus like the sin and just plus alcohol. Wait. I'm here for that. I'm so into that. Like house for whose? Brandy, you were in, um, you grew.

up in Nashville. You don't know what this is. Yeah, I hope about this. Okay, anyways. It looks like, it looks like a gospel well, I'm Googling that later. We can start seeing later. That's where I'm doing my next podcast.

Or we could just like make it a gospel brunch. Wade in the water. Hey, wait. Do you guys know a family guy? That was weird. People are like, yes. Then other people are like, Nancy. Family guy.

Actually, they make fun in Boston, don't they? Yeah. This is a really terrible story, so I hope you guys are all just sitting down for this one. But they do this whole segment where they join a choir, and they wrote a song. And they go, I wrote this song before I knew the difference between a train and a boat. Here's how it goes. Train on the water, boat on the track. Settle down, Caitlin.

That's it. That's it. Okay. I just figured if Boston New Family Guy you guys would laugh but you know what maybe we should just practice a pity laugh so you guys if I ever do that again you can laugh and that's terrible

laugh we gotta get everyone drinking more I think everyone needs to take a sip Yeah can you guys just like get on our level Cheers yeah Get up maybe a tequila shop for everybody I don't know On the house On the house, just kidding

Cleo's like no Did you guys see Cleo's like no Did you guys see Cleo earlier? Is she not the cutest little clee you've ever seen? Sometimes she stresses me out how nice she is. Like when I first met Cleo, I was like, I don't like her. She's too nice. And I don't, I don't, what do you?

Oh, shit. We asked for it. We did. Okay, I'll sip that. Oh, shit. I mean, I'll sip on that. Some girl got mad at me at my last live podcast, because she bought me Cuervo, Jose Cuervo.

Thank you. Is that bad? I'm like, I'm wine, vodka, champagne, and bourbon. Well, today you're tequila. I was so... What are you? Oh, thank you, you little sweet nugget. I'm a tequila girl today then.

Yeah, tequila girl today. I love tequila. Wait, is that not good stuff? It's shit. Okay. And I'm not above taking a shitty shot. It's fine. but I'm actually allergic to bad tequila. Sometimes they say that as an excuse.

But I... I got hives a couple times. Anyways, the girl got mad at me. She brought me a shot and I was like, I can't take that. One, I'm already like really blackout. And two, I'm going to like break out in hives. And she looked at me and she was in the meet and greet and she looked at me and went, wow.

And I was like, oh, I'm really sorry. Like, I would love to like take a picture with you and hang out for a second. She didn't. No, she didn't. No, she thought I was a raging bitch for not doing a querebo shot. Wow. Is that the wine you chose, guys? Who's tasting it? Yeah. Yeah? Is it good? Great. Did you swirl the glass? Okay. Nobody, nobody needs to do that. Just smell it. If it smells like vinegar, it ain't good. I literally just went and smelled the tequila from here. Oh, it's going to be a good Monday. You know what? I have two shows today. Two shows.

So tonight? You won't remember the second one. No, you guys are lucky. You get like, you get like one or two shot tequila. Tonight they're going to be like, that bitch sucks. I mean, like, I don't know. You get like cautious, Caitlin today. That's why I got Cleo's interviewing me later for the second show so that I don't have to do any of the work.

Anyways. Hey, let's take a little break from the live show and talk about Disney. Walt Disney World is the perfect escape And now as an adult You can experience it an entirely new way From the excitement of after-hour events To cool drinking options Now that's a time to find your happy place

Here at Walt Disney World You can discover a side of Disney You've never seen foodie dining, unique shopping And other magical experiences all at Disney Springs Indulge in seasonal events throughout the year Like the Epcot International Festival of the Arts And the Epcot International Flower and Garden Festival How about a stop by the Cruise Cup Lounge?

Race into port for a seafaring feast at this cozy outpost nestled next to the yachtsman Steakhouse where you can unwind with a pint and a hearty dish. Come relive the nostalgia of Disney or create some new memories. There are so many cool attractions and characters that bring your childhood to life and new experiences that you can appreciate even more as an adult. Enjoy some classic attractions that you loved as a child like Space Mountain at Magic Kingdom and Test Track at Epcot. or why not conquer the mountain trifecta by riding Space Mountain, Splash Mountain, and Big Thunder Mountain at Magic Kingdom again.

Explore new immersive worlds like Toy Storyland at Disney's Hollywood Studios where you can experience the exciting toy-filled world of Andy's backyard. Now back to the live show. Andy, let's get to you. I miss you first of all. It's not so long. It's been like two months. All the bacheloretts, I feel like love each other, but Kayla and I really love it. We have a special bond.

We have a very special bond. And, because we're not your girl next door. Because we're one after another, too. Oh, that helps. I think so. Yeah, I feel like we're both like a little bit of gangsters. Yeah, and both of them didn't work out. Right, so we can bond over our failed relationships.

Cheers to failed relationships. Are we taking a show? Oh, okay. You just take a little sick. Oh, that's actually really good. I mean, yeah, it's delicious. Andy, let's talk about your books, plural. No.

No, this is amazing. Has anybody read her book? Because it is freaking... It's like, I hope so. Shit. No, it's so good. How did you decide what to put in the book?

Because I feel like you've got a lot going on. And when you guys know, when you go through like a breakup, especially if it's public. Hail. Hey. You probably want to share so much to the people who know who you are

that you kind of can't. Like, you're like, I'm going to take the high road for a quick minute. Yeah, and then I'm going to take the low road. It's a balance. it girls got to eat right yeah you got to you had so much you went through everybody saw your relationship and then and then people sorry that's just like a natural reaction but then you're like you know you could have went one of two ways you could have taken the low road first yeah or you could

have you know journaled until you till time healed yeah wrote a book and become New York's best time just like skirt the low road yeah skirt it I mean I think anyone that's like been through a bad relationship and a bad breakup has a lot of shit to talk. So it was one of those things. And on both sides. You know, it's, I get it. There's two sides to every story, but like, this was my story and he didn't get offered a book. So, you know, sorry.

So, like, I'm not going to tell his side of the story for him. But I totally understand and respect the fact that it is one-sided, but I definitely held back a lot of stuff. And I think part of it was, like, that balance of being real and authentic and not pretending like this was this magical relationship that you saw on. television and also like not completely running somebody through the coals because I fell in love with the guy like I can't sit there and say oh he was a horrible human being from day one otherwise I'm going to start questioning my own judgment yeah but so it's kind of like skirting that line

and I did say in the first book with the breakup I put family off limits to me that was always something that was off limits even you know whether it's today five four years later whatever it's been I would never talk about someone else's family just because they really didn't sign up for And you guys, oh, what we put our families through. It's so sad. We literally, like, show up. You got to, you probably remember this. Hometown dates.

You show up and, like, you haven't seen your family for six weeks at that point. And all of a sudden, they're miced up and they're like, what's going on? And sometimes they forget they're mic'd up. And they just, like, they're so shocked. They're so out of their element. So I already kind of felt bad about that. And I just, I kept the family stuff under wraps. But, yeah, I wanted that balance of being real and making sure that people didn't think

this was like a glossy, fabulous relationship and that this was perfect and I was amazing or he was amazing, but also not going too low. Because you can't take that shit back. That's the thing is the timing of like, of course when you come out of a breakup, I could sit here and tell you guys a lot of stuff, but I would take it back a year later when I'm like, I don't care anymore. Yeah. You know, you'd go through a breakup and you're angry and the only thing that heals is time.

So how long was it from when you guys broke up to when you wrote your first book? Oh. Because you kept notes the whole breakup. Yeah, I started, well, I started journaling after the breakup because I didn't know who to talk to. I was like living at Kelly's house and there was like paparazzi outside because we didn't make any statement. It was at Atlanta, Georgia. Like, you know, there's nothing, not there's nothing going on there, but it was a hot topic. Yeah.

So I couldn't leave the house. I like didn't shower, smell. I don't know who to trust. Relatable. I just started journaling. So I guess I moved to New York, February. and then the book, I would finish the book by the end of that year. Oh, wow.

Yeah. It's not, it takes longer than people think, though. Yeah, but that's, and it's crazy because a lot of people have like ghost writers and people, and you did it all on your own. Well, I wanted a ghost writer and I was talking to my agent that I had gotten set up with and I said, okay, let's hire a ghost writer. And she goes, can't hire a ghost writer. I said, why not?

She goes, you know, you have like a law degree and you've written this journal. You can't, we're not going to be able to sell this if you're having a ghost writer attached to it. And mainly because it was so personal. Yeah. So think about it. Like, it's a diary entry and it's not necessarily a Pulitzer Prize winning type of book. Like, it's raw. Yeah.

But that's what people like. Yeah. So I was able to write it. Like, anybody could write it. If you journal, you could write this book. So you don't want somebody else coming in and writing it for you and it's that personal. My journal into a book would be so pathetic. No, it wouldn't.

No, it would. I read mine the other day from... Do you read your journals back? Well, I did because the only time I've ever journaled them, in life, which is maybe a little embarrassing, but it was when I was on The Bachelor and The Bachelorette. Everyone does. And it's so funny. I read it back and I'm going,

I just ordered the greatest steak in my hotel room. Life is good. Why are they all journal on the show? I was like, I don't think I'm allowed to turn on the TV, so I'm not going to like, it was so lame. Yeah. And then I was like, the producers are trying to break me down, but I see through them.

Like, all this stuff. And then that was like The Bachelor and the bachelor's like, somebody. save me I am not okay that would be a good book actually yeah yeah a little depressing but yeah

if I ever write a book can you be my ghostwriter of course okay why did we all journal on the show because you want to remember journal the day in my life and then I feel like I saw like somebody with their journal

and the next person had a journal I'm like okay I guess I'll journal I think the reason is Jillian Harris who's the only other Canadian bachelor I'm obsessed with her and she was the one who told me she was like, I don't remember a day of my season.

She's like, I blacked out. I mean, it helps now that they only have like a two drink limit, but I. Do you? Yes. When did they enact that rule? Corinne and DeMario. Oh. They really do you have a two drink limit?

Yes, your name is written on a board and there's like, as somebody has a specific job just to watch how many drinks you have and you can only have two an hour. So if you like slam two, two an hour though, if you start at 8 a.m. And you end at 8 p. And that's 24 drinks. Well, that's a great point. Like, that's 24. Yeah, and I guess is there like a not, like, is it wine?

Is it hard alcohol? I'd go straight for the hard. And could you go like, okay, it's the end of the hour. I'm going to slam two tequila. And at the beginning of the hour, I'm going to slam two tequila. And then feel good into the next hour. And you're just like, I don't need any mixer or ice, just straight. Right.

We would do well. We'd figure it out. You know what? We would find the loophole. Something tells me we'd figure it out. tells me we would find some loopholes. That's really a rule, though? Yeah.

It's quite weird. I don't know how to do. That kind of makes a little sense now for this season. Yeah, because nobody's wasted. There's no drunk guy or drunk girl on Night 1 anymore. There wasn't anyone very wasted this past. Who was the drunk guy on your night one? Uh, there was one, but I forgot his name.

I'll never forget mine. I'll never forget mine. I'll never forget mine. Yeah, mine too. Ryan McDill, the one that got away. I feel like maybe mine was Craig or Greg. Who are your... Okay, who are your top four guys?

Marcus, Chris... Blank and blank. Blank. Blah, blah, blah, blah. Marcus, Chris, and... And been there, done that. Actually, I always say, though, the top four, that was, like, the gift that keeps on giving. Between, like...

Who's Chris? So, you know. Oh, my gosh. I meant that. I'm blushing. I really meant that. I was like, who the fucking girls? Guys, go on the bachelor.

There's some winners. Or the bachelor at either one. I will say, you're... How was that my top four? That's okay. You didn't know. You didn't know. They all, um...

Went on to do great things. They all... Hey, think of my top four. But now here, look at you now, though. I actually did... Yeah. Yeah. I will say it wasn't like a nasty.

like I didn't go through really awful well I mean I went through sad times but I'm I think I realized how how it wasn't right for how I moved on and was like oh that's right yeah yeah once you figure out what's right you're like yeah yeah and I had figured myself out and that's my one piece of advice for all of you

if you're going through a breakup or if you need to find your person is I truly felt like I know who I am and that helps you find your person yeah well it was a little shaky through the three and a half years but like now I'm like okay I think you know and then I have all these checkboxes of like what I need and my only one my only checkbox that I was like this is an important one was don't date a guy in the bachelor franchise there she went I was like no we talked about this I'm like who cares if he's

from Bachelor or not like what Jason we're saying yeah no I don't care now obviously but at the time I was like it's not happening not doing this yeah no and then he was like why and I'm like you just wait till you're like, please use 310 shakes and blah, blah, blah. And I'm going to be like, I can't send your Instagram stories. But he loves you and he's nice. Yeah. At the end of the day, I think like that's all that matters in a relationship. You're right. How do you feel in it? Like, are you happy? Does somebody make you feel happy? Doesn't mean that like he's a bad person. If he doesn't, it's just not the right person for you. Like, you should feel happy in any relationship. And not perfect. Not every single day is like everything easy. But like for the most part,

I feel like when you're in a relationship, you should be like, I like myself. I like how I add. I like how I feel this person like adds value. Yeah. Yeah. You're so right. They add value. That's a very important is that they add value.

Problems aside, it's just that overall feeling, I think. But what do I know? I'm still single. Yeah, but you know from experience and you're learning and you're growing and you're only in your 30s, lady. That's young. Is 30s young? Yeah.

I'm 33. I know. 34, I feel young. 30 is not old. No, and no. 30s are good. I got to say the 30s are good. 30 was the best year of my life and 33 is really topping it.

30 was a good one. But I will say like being in New York and I don't know, I feel like Boston is probably like this. It kind of like mind-checks you as far as age goes because you don't know what age anyone is and then you look over and you're like, oh shit, I'm 35 or like 37 and I've been like living this single life and you kind of get warped into the city life and you forget like, oh, I might need to, like, start looking for somebody to date.

Yeah, except if you want to talk about, mind-f-watch The Bachelor, where all the girls are 23. And then I'm like, oh, I used to be on that show. I was 23, but I was 29, turn 30. Yeah, I think I was 28, but still, even the way we talked, like, I remember I was listening to the show one time, this season,

Colton season, and I texted Chris and I was like, did we sound like that, or like, these girls just getting younger and younger he was like oh you sounded like yeah that's true i was like damn it that's true and i asked that same question to people i'm like are we just getting older and the girls are just stay in the same age no we were that damn it i mean i did tell someone to plow my field on night one on night one and then i was making like tight seal jokes on night one yeah you're right you're right i would have hated me if i was watching i don't like that bitch has got to go my favorite though I'll never forget.

It's like, who is she? Oh, yeah. Crystal's had a sparkle on his face. And I don't think a lot of people caught on to that, though. No, they didn't. But we're here to refresh your memory. I got out of the limo, did my whole spiel. And then I was talking to him.

We were actually talking about fishing, but they cut that out. And he had a sparkle on his face, and I, like, wiped it. And I was like, who is she? I liked that. Yeah. I knew I liked you then. I did? I did.

All right. We know what time it is, and as if taxes weren't confusing enough, did you know that we had the most change to the tax code in 30 years? Thanks to tax reform, this year has felt even more stressful than usual. Luckily, no one knows tax reform better than H&R Block. With virtually everyone affected, there's a good chance that you could use some extra help. That's why H&R Block has offices open early and late. No one makes getting your taxes done easier. No excuses.

You don't even have to plan ahead. simply walk in, make an appointment, or just drop off your tax docs. Get it done. Get your taxes out the door and your maximum refund in your pocket. Don't risk your refund and let a tax pro at H&R Block prepare your taxes for you. Visit HrBlock.com to find the closest office to you. If you're down to the wire, don't worry, down to the last minute, Block has your back. Okay, wait, let's confess. What'd you say?

Let's confess. I feel like we've done a lot of confessing all right. Oh, God. I know, right? Yeah, my confess is, my confess. My confession is I have to pee my body suit right now. I can't wait for this. Well, you know, you really got to pee and you're in a body, or like a one zy?

That's your confession? No, it's not. I'm just confessing that to you right now. What's your confession? Do you have one? I don't know. Okay, Brandy. We all know.

Really put me on this spot. Let me just say, Brandy, I called her out for this last time. Brandy was sexting the other day with her boyfriend. Okay. Don't act like you don't do it. I do it all the time. I send a sex this morning. Little underboot.

Let's see. I'll show you, but I'll show you guys. All right, I've got a confession for you. Let's see if you've done this. Okay. I feel like maybe you have, but we'll see. So the other day, while I was sexting, I was facing my boyfriend who lives and Africa. Like, give me a break here.

Yeah, you have to sense. Okay. And I was like, I'm, like, really running late. Like, the show starts when I had to take a shower. And he was like, well, you don't have to hang up. And I was like, oh, oh, yeah, I don't. But, like, seriously, I'm like, I really don't want you to watch my shower. Like, that is not. Shower time is me time, okay?

I agree. He was like, well, I'm not going to hang up. So if you hang up, like, I'll know that, like, you're not into it. And he's kind of crushed. Yeah. So I was like, fine. Fine. So I took him in the shower with me and, like, set the phone up there, and I was like, if my phone breaks, this is on you. So where did you put the phone? Yeah, wait, where did you put the phone?

Oh, like, wait, it was, like, at the, where are we, Toronto Hotel was like that huge shower. Yeah. And I just, like, set it up on the little shelf next to the shampoo. And do you have the new phone that's, like, water resistant. Okay. But with the rain shower head that comes straight down, it's, like, really does you with solid. You can, like, put your phone up and it doesn't get wet and, like, you're good. Well, was he into it?

Oh, he was so into it. Okay, great. He was like, that was such a defash shower. I was like, are you kidding me right now? You cannot complain about this. I'm letting you watch me shower. He was very into it. First time I've done that.

And shower lighting is questionable. Questionable at best. I know. It's usually like neon lights. Last time I was with him, I had a spray tan. I don't have a spray tan right now. I'd had a wax. I didn't get a wax for this week.

Like, come on. That's me. If I don't get a wax and I'm doing sexy FaceTime, this is me. You're like, isn't it so sexy? like you can't see it all. It's like a little mysterious. Meanwhile, they're like, ugh. Like move your hand. Love it.

I'm leaving a little to the imagination. Slash I've been waxed. That's a good confession. I'll never top the first confession. No. The Nashville live. Do you guys remember on the Nashville Live podcast? Brandy confessed that I'll never top that. So every time she asks me to confess, I'm like,

it's going to be a letdown. It's not going to be as good as that one. Tell them, Brandy. You guys want to hear? I want to hear this. I'll shorten it for you since I've already told it. So I was in L.A. And I was on a date.

And we went back to the guy's house and I was on my period. And I, like, ran to the bathroom to take out my tampon and change it. And I'm already stressed about, like, where to put the tampon. My mom always, like, has me freaked out about this. She's like, you can't put it in the trash can because then he's got to take the trash out

and that's embarrassing. And, like, you don't want him to see your tampon. I'm like, what the hell am I going to do with it or whatever? You're not supposed to fly him. Awesome. Thank you. I have had to call one too many a plumber for doing that. So anyway, so I already freaked out about this whole, like, changing the tampon thing.

But I wraps it. My mom was like, just wrap it up in, like, a lot of toilet paper, and stick it in the trash can, he'll never know. He'll throw it away and not know what it is. So I did that. Go back out, start to have my drink for, like, having a great time. It's like an okay time. But, like, whatever.

The dog. The dog. The freaking dog takes my used tampon out of the trash can and drags it out and puts it it in the middle of the living room floor where we're having drag. Oh, God, yeah. You should have been like, ew, is that yours? See, this is where I, the next time. Who is she?

Yeah. Who is she? Who is she? Who is she? I was so embarrassed. I had no. Who is she? Yes.

I had no idea. I was mortified. I was like, well, I'm going to go now. See, you never. That's a bad one. Did you see him again? Nope. No.

Never did. Oh, that's bad. I know. That's a bad one. Did that spark anything in your brain for a confession? No, nothing that bad. I've been good lately. Thanks.

Nothing bad. I mean, it wasn't bad on you. I need a refill. Cleo. Do you want some tequila? After that maybe. I don't think. What I told you earlier is not that bad.

Oh, no, this is funny. You have to tell that. That's funny. That I made out with the Uber driver. Oh, do tell. He was super hot. Uber drivers can be hot. That don't make you bad people.

He was an L.A. Uber driver, too, which, by the way, L.A. Uber drivers are hot because they're all like, I might need that. L.A. Uber drivers are hot. That's all I'm saying. L.A. people are hot. Yeah. And go Celtics. I got five-star rating. Imagine you didn't. I didn't.

I have like a 4.2, which is such bullshit. 4.2? I don't understand how I'm always on time. I've never farved. I like sometimes change. It's actually pisses me off. I'll show you. I'm going to look at my Uber rating right now.

Mine's 4.8. There's something messed up. I think someone has my account. What's yours? 4.8. Yeah. Wait. Wait.

What? What? 4.8. 0.4.8 something. What other? Yeah, what other? Oh, I don't know if it was like 4.02. I thought yours was like 4.02.

I was like, that's bad. I don't think they'd go to that. Oh, mine's 4.7.9. It's pretty good. Brandy wins. Pretty good. I do win. Why is I'm so shitty?

I don't know. Let's think about how many times you've gotten blackout in New York. Okay, so I don't know if you guys listen to the podcast that Andy and I did back in the day. Okay. Three people did. But we did this game because it's not that you, and Brandy as well, it's not that you guys are like,

and we only wear fancy, expensive clothes. You enjoy fashion. I do not. I do. Yeah. Olivia Carreedy is notorious for giving me shit about my passion. Yeah. No.

Because did she say you're bougie? She loves that Liz Claymore, man. She loves it. I am like, I kind of give shit to me like everyone. Yeah, yeah, she does. Well, she comes in with like a broken ass bag. I'm like, girl, like you, you know, you're doing well. Yeah.

Here's the thing about Caitlin. She'll compliment something I have. Be like, oh my God, great tote. Where'd you get that? And I'm like, it's Valenciaaga. And she's like, no. Nope. Just kidding. Actually, I'm like, what's Balenciaga?

Wait, but then she'll order like a $100 room service. Totally. Because that's what makes me happy. And I'm like, I'll go to the Asian place down the street for $25. That's why I don't judge you guys on it, because it's what makes you happy. Room service makes me happy. Going to Italy. No, I get that for free.

Same. TRIPS make me happy. different things, but clothing and fashion makes you guys happy. Specifically, sneakers? The only reason I know Balenciaga is because it's that rap. The ones that look like

Nana. Thank you, Cardi B. Yeah, that's the only you're saying I know it. So we're going to play the game again, part two, where they tell me name brands. They tell, I'm not going to know shit. I'm like, is that Airwock from Pales? I don't know. Does anybody even know what that is? So they're going to name

brands and I'm going to say And you have to make some up too Like delibiabo And then I'll be like that's totally a brand You're like no it's not So you guys say either A name and I'll say true or false You'll say real or not real

Hello Okay Sound never gets old Get it Okay go Do you have one? No I was gonna try to maybe go

A little easy on you for the first one Okay let's go designer here okay we're going designer okay okay Rebecca Minkoff you said that with confidence so I'm gonna say it's true it's true okay I also said it to you yesterday because I said it's a designer that you can afford oh yeah oh or that you will afford is that the one that you said it's a cute little bag that I usually get for like 150 and I'm like don't I feel like that I'm gonna go higher for her. Go. Do it, do it.

I won't know. I think the higher ones are easier. Like, y'all know Dolchan Gabana and y'all know Prada. Let's make it hard for it. Yeah, I know those. That's make it hard for. I don't know their sign or simple or whatever. You're going to, you're going to know, like, Tom Ford. I don't rock, I rock Tom Ford. I only know these brands because of rap.

She listens to rap, so she's going to know. Castellar? No. Do you guys? Real or fake? Fake. Oh, fuck you got us. It's really hard to come up with fake designer names. I was like, what can I read?

That's a good idea. This is tough because we have an audience, so when they go silent, I'm like, okay, someone name a designer that Caitlin may or may not know. Or make one up. See, it's hard. Milton. I know. You guys, if you can stump Caitlin, I will give you a due t-shirt.

How about that? Joe Brond. What is it? Joe Brond. Joe Brond. fake oh and be honest i thought you're like thinking like joe fresh you're adorable they got they got scrunchies on their boobies somebody come up with a real or fake designer for kately multega did i say that boatga fake

t-shirt she gets a t-shirt come get a girl the clowns i knew that one clutch no it's great no it's perfect I have one more t-shirt. So if you guys want to keep going with it, I like this. I feel like someone from Canada in the back. Oh, you can still do it. That's okay. You're good.

It's okay. I can still. I've got to Mexico. She's all from New Mexico in the mid-back. New Mexico. Okay, what? Robert Mingen? Fenton.

Oh, Fenton. Fake. Yes, but you. I love you. I love it. She's like, I don't want to be else. All right. What you got?

Hermes. Well, everybody just said real, so. Oh, come on, y'all. That's why it's not fair. Something tells me you would have pronounced Hermes Irmes differently. Like Hermes. Hermes.

Does that sound familiar to you? Yeah. Herschel? All right, let's hear it. Go Yard. Fake. Oh, we got a team. I don't know anything.

These are the name brands I do know. I know Prada, Gucci. All songs. Yeah, I just taught you one. Gucci, Gucci, Benny, Friada, Prada, something. Which one did I just teach you? Jivanchi. Oh, yeah, I thought it was Givinci.

Really? I love you for this. Wait, I really thought it was Givinci. So does Olivia, it's fine. She still thinks that. It's Jivanchi. I love for this. That's stupid.

What is it? What is it? What is it? What do you know the difference? Rutsack? She's like, I think. Runt sack? you're making this up oh rhod sack real oh oh yeah i know that's what i said real

it's totally from canada i know hey so this thursday april fourth on the c w don't miss the premiere of the highly anticipated new series in the dark in the dark is from executive producer ben stiller who is one of my favorites and director of the big sick this is the story of murphy mason a sardonic sexually promiscuous, hard-drinking, young, blind woman. For Murphy, the big problem being blind is that you can only judge people by their personalities. Murphy has two friends, Jess, her unflinchingly devoted roommate, and Tyson, a drug-dealing teenager. Sounds dangerous. When she's not at work barely holding down the job that she hates, Murphy can be found drinking at her favorite bar and bringing home men from it. Murphy's drunken, hot mess of a life

is about to take a turn for the worse when Tyson suddenly turns up dead. When the police can't seem to be bothered with investigating, Murphy vows to figure out what happened to her friend. She begins heading down a dark path asking questions that may get her into serious trouble. Equal parts hilarious, heartfelt, and suspenseful from the perspective of someone who's totally in the dark, in the dark, premieres Thursday, April 4th, only on the CW. We'll be back with more Off the Vine with Caitlin Bristow. Alexa isn't the only one with breaking news.

Make sure to hang around at the end of this podcast for the latest breaking headlines on the AP News Minute. Let's be honest, life is easier with a sister. I'm Blue Hazel, co-founder Letitia Lee, host of the news show, girl, we got this, right here on podcast one. Join me each week as I interview real people. Yes, real. Share personal stories and talk raw, honest advice about all things sisterhood. I'll show you how to connect, embrace, and breakthrough. Because after all, let's be honest, we're all sisters here.

Get new episodes of Girl We Got This with me, Letitia Lee, every Tuesday on Podcasts or Apple Podcasts. Now back to Off the Vine with Caitlin Bristow. Hey, we're going to do something really quick. I want to open up a can you not segment to the crowd. Because every week I'm like, I don't know, can you not like champagne? I don't know. I run out of ideas. So you guys have to come up with, I don't know, can you not Boston?

Is there, I'm not trying to insult your city. Are there things in Boston that you're like, can you not do that? Yeah, like the subway or the train. Yeah. Or, like New York subway, when people walk down the right side and you're like trying to hustle to the train, you're like, can you not? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Really, there's like two lanes for a reason. Great example.

You got to raise your hand. I got to pick you. Can you not say you're from Boston when you're from Manchester, New Hampshire? Oh. Oh, burn. Can you not say you're from Boston when you're from Manchester, New Hampshire? So the New Hampshire peeps are like, yeah, we're from Boston. Oh, is that a thing?

That's a good one. Okay, okay. I feel like I came through New Hampshire on my way here, by the way. You probably did. I know that's because I've been. Oh, no, you did not. Connecticut, Rhode Island, New York. Every stop was a different state, and I was like, what the fuck?

Where are we going? I don't know. I'm Canadian. Okay, you in the glasses, blonde hair. Keep winning championships. Can you not keep winning championships? Hey, but if it's basketball, I'm down. Clearly not from Boston, but I kind of respect that because that's balzy.

It is. But how tight would it be if the Celtics won the championship this year? Hey. I love Boston. I love you guys. Is that? I don't know. Yeah.

Okay. I just think I was a smart-mast, by the way. The Bruins. Hey. The Bruins. Hockey. Do you want to go drink at 2 p.m. on a Friday? I'm like, why?

They're like, it's March Madness. I'm like, cool. Cool. I love football. Just kidding. But I'm there. See you at 145. Okay.

Jean Jacket. Thank you. Can you not say you're from Boston when you dress as a sloth on the bachelor? Oh. Wait. I really did not see that season. You're like, oh. Okay, wait, the sloth said she was from Boston on this season.

She wasn't from Boston? Sorry, but can we like nutsy it on with the sloth? There's a sloth that came out of the limo? You say there was a sloth, like a person. Yeah, dressed as a sloth. And she was really slow. Whose season was this? I respected the sloth.

Colton's. She was on night one. Oh, that was this season. But she made an impression. I watched the last episode, which was great. Yeah. I was super, I was super into it. I actually never watched The Bachelor of Bachelor before.

I watched, like, shit TV, like, Real Housewives, my 90-day fiancé. Oh, you could ask me anything on any real housewife, and I'm like, yep, Delors. I don't know anything. What's your favorite, what's your favorite housewives? Beverly Hills is a rich. I like Atlanta, man. Oh. I like that.

They. I'm fun at Lain. Just kind of like, you know what I don't like about Atlanta is I feel like they just like make up the tea. Like, oh, I spilled the tea. They just like make so much shit up just like stay. I could go on and on. I don't, I've never seen an episode of Real Housewives. They make so much up to like stay on.

Yeah. You know, like now they're getting married having babies just like stay on for another paycheck. And I'm like, I respect it, but I don't want to watch it. Yeah, maybe you should be on it. Oh. Give it a little cute. Beverly Hills though is the, do you, I love Beverly Hills. Yeah, yeah, Beverly Hills is good.

Because they're like legitimately rich. Oh, yeah, they're the real deal. Yeah. I'm like, is anyone on the Atlanta season even married? Are they even a housewife? Yeah. I'm like, do you have to be married if you're a housewife? I think candy.

I don't think you'd be married to be on the show. I don't think any New York are. I don't like sign me up. Can they do a real housewives of Nashville and I could be on it but not a housewife? Exactly. What does it mean to be a housewife? Just rich? Yeah, rich.

I think just a woman. Oh. Who's rich? Because literally, like, some of them aren't even rich. Yeah, dude, I'm telling you. What? There's a lot of bankruptcy, foreclosure shit happening. Oh, yeah.

Oh. It's good to watch. Wow. But my point was, like, I watch, you know, not the highest quality television, but I just never was into The Bachelor. Until the finale, and I was like, this shit is. Yeah, would you guys think about the finale of this season? Oh.

Oh, wow. My taste is really good. Oh, yeah, I liked it. I thought it was super different. I was like, wow, that would have been nice. Nice to know I could have done that. To the audience. I got in a lot of trouble.

I remember there was a big salad in front of me. And I was like, I quit. And all the camera guys were like, we actually, like, really would like to go home, but we're here for you. And I was like, I don't care. I quit. I started crying into my salad while eating it.

And I was like, refusing. This was your finale? Yeah. They just didn't air it. So for Colton's, I'm like, I kind of respect that because it was real. Yeah. I did see the way.

Women tell all two of Colton's. Yeah. Which I was not into. There was like a pacifier. There was this weird shit happening. Yeah, it was a lot. Here's what I'll say about Colton. I think he really likes, like, sticking it to the man.

You know, it's like, it's like he goes out of his way to be like, I'm going to do exactly what they don't want me to do. I'm going to break the rules. He told me on my podcast, I think six times that he likes to break down the fourth wall. Uh-huh. Which apparently in TV land means. Yes. I mean, it's kind of funny, because he's, like, the ultimate, like, young white privilege boy.

Like, he's like, Mr. Holesol. I'm like, you're not breaking any rules, dude. Totally. That's true. That's very true. Like, that guy's not breaking any rules. He was a virgin. Who? Like, he's not breaking any rules.

I got thrown into Access Hollywood, and they were like, we're going to talk about the bachelor. I filled in for Ashley. I didn't know what I was doing. And they, like, basically, I ran in really late. and they just pulled my seat up and they're like so what do you think about Colton being a virgin and it was live and I was like I don't trust virgins and then you were like with Colton the next day

you were like hi and then they're like what you don't trust Colton he's like Jason's friend and I was like what I mean I totally trust him as a friend and then they're like well you're with Jason and he says so do you know what happens and then I'm like I got to go I was like yeah no no I don't know he's happy they're like he's he he's like he's he

Is? Yeah, and I was like, I don't know. I got in so much trouble. Yeah. As pretty usual. I'm not getting trouble. I swear ABC just hates my guts.

Like, I swear to anything. No. No. We'll see on our reunion. Yeah, we're having a reunion. Oh, yeah. Can we say this? You just did.

It's in an email. I mean, nobody's... Is it not? If anyone's going to spoil it, it'll be me. So for Hannah's season of the Bachelorette, which if any of you boo that, I will, again, throat chop you, because she's going to be a badass.

Bachelorette. We were talking about this. We're on board. We were just talking about this. We're on board. I seriously think she's what the Bachelor Nation wants all the time. They're like, stop being so boring. She's going to be so self-deprecating and insecure in the right way. I just think she's going to be so funny. Jojo was 24. Yeah. So, there you go.

She doesn't seem 24 to me. Look at them now. Hannah? Yeah. I didn't know she was 24, because I even watched it as well. She seems at least 25. At least. I was 26. Yeah. It's okay.

24 I can handle because I always think back to Jojo. I mean, I was, I wouldn't have made it at 24. I would have been such a loser. I would have. No, I would have. I was a loser at 24. Anyways, there's a baby in here, and I feel really guilty right now. Cover your ears.

I love babies. Yeah. Oh, she's covering yours. That's even cuter. How old are you? Nope. No. I hope you don't understand what I'm saying.

Can you wave high? Hi. Yeah, would she come up here? Oh, cute. Look at those shoes. She's styling. And, girl! She was like just throwing out Caitlin vibes right now.

Thanks for coming out, Hope. She's adorable. Do you want this? Give her scrunchies. Oh, we got scrunchies. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Put it in her hair. See, Andy put it in her hair, maybe.

Oh, I wonder for it. Oh, she's like, no. Oh, perfect. You know what, girl? Play with whatever you want up here. Get him. Sometimes I like just watching babies. Me too.

What is she thinking? And I like to pretend they've had too much to drink. Like, what is she going to do next? look at her she's like oh I got to bring her back and he's like I don't know what to do

oh she really likes the unicorn you don't want to leave her up here no no don't I feel like I'm a bad influence by Hope the cutest oh I just got I just got a text

from that says Jason is on his phone now if Caitlin would like to FaceTime. Sounds like Jason's ready for you, Caitlin. Wait, did Jason text you and say that? Cleo did.

By the way, I just got hooked up by Hope. She has an Uncle Nick that's single in New York. What is you? I owe you. 20 years, I'm buying your first drink. 20 years, you and me, girl. What? Now we're talking.

Wait, what? No, hands off. This one's mine. I'm taken. Yeah. All right, everyone, 60 seconds. That's exactly how long this commercial lasts. You know what else you can do in about a minute?

You can get an offer for your car with true car. That's right, in the amount of time it takes to floss your teeth, pet your dog, pet your stuffed animal dog in my case, do a few sit-ups, or just listen to my voice. You can get a true cash offer. And best of all, you can do it from your smartphone or at home. Just go to True Car and simply enter your license plate number and watch how your car's details pop up. Answer a few questions and you'll get an accurate True Cash offer from a local True Car certified dealer. It's that easy. And after that, you can bring your car in and they'll check it out with you together.

You can ask questions and get the answers that you need so there's no surprises. Then simply leave with your check or trade in your car for a new ride. So when you guys are ready to experience a better way to sell or trade in your car, check out True Car today. What's going on? Are you drinking again? Yeah, you know, just hair of the dog had a headache, so I got to fire your back up. Where are you? I'm in Atlanta, Georgia, headache.

Woo! Peace up, Baytown! Let's go, some festival. Hi, Andy. Hi, I'm Andy. I'm from Atlanta. How are you? Good.

I'm just, you know, enjoying your girlfriend. Yeah. Stop showing off your... Oh. Okay. Okay. We just dropped the album on. What is that?

Real time. I said you dropped the album in front of everybody. Oh. What are you talking to? You guys having fun? Wow. Holy hell. Where's the after party?

You guys partying all day or what? Ask them, ask them how much tequila I've had. How much tequila have you had? I think it's time for a cheers. What a savage you are? Yeah, I'm a savage. Okay, well, of course, as for usual, just wanted to say hi. Thanks, guys.

Have fun. Cheers. You know what? Not as loud as Toronto, guys. Ooh. As an American, I'm an American. I'm going to have to demand I'm trying to do a little rivalry

between Canada and the States I'm trying to say bring it up a notch on the count of three Woo! Yeah, that was good. It made me knock. This is a lot, you guys. Okay, we didn't finish

with some Canyon knots. Oh, yeah, more Boston Canyon Nats. Those were great, actually, before. Yeah. Keni did not ask me a drug. Oh. Yeah, I mean, it's the Uber driver. She made out with an Uber driver.

That's pretty bad. That's a confession. That is good. But he was an L.A. Uber driver, which means he's a part-time actor. Full-time Uber driver. Which means also... I'm like, and a Lyft driver. He was Uber and Moved.

And I think, you know, double the hustle. He might make a big time. My rating's still a 4.2. I mean, I wasn't trying to, like, it's not. not why she made out with them. Okay, wait, we do have Q&As, right? I was just about to say, I've got some Q&A. Q&A's.

Okay, Q&A, let's go. It's Q&A time, baby. All right. Delaney wants to know. Delaney, are you out there? What's the most embarrassing moment you've had with a fan? Both of you guys can answer this. Oh.

Embarrassing moment I've had with a fan? Yeah. Can you think? think of one? Oh, I just had one yesterday. She's like never, oh, wait. I was at this morning. No, that was yesterday.

I was at the airport. They fit perfectly. How do you know my size? Creepy. Hi, Google. You went on foot Wikipedia. That's a thing. Oh, my God, sick.

I love these. Okay, so yesterday I was in the Toronto airport, and I went to the Air Canada lounge because I'm boogey like that. And I had a little broccoli salad, had a piece of broccoli that was way too big to fit in my mouth, but I did it anyways. And so I shoved it in my mouth,

and as soon as I did, this girl came up and went, this is bad timing, isn't it? And I was like, ugh, yeah. And she goes, do you travel a lot? And I'm like, mm-hmm, yeah. I couldn't even chew it, uh-huh. And then she's like, I really love Jason. okay

all right yeah yeah and she kept talking like until I was finished my broccoli

and then she asked for a photo and I'm like I clearly have broccoli in my teeth that's okay I guess

yeah that's too bad there's not a lot of embarrassing I mean I did meet a fan at a bar one time and I was like

on my way to wasted of course and she just stayed there so I was like whatever I'm gonna keep

getting wasted and by the end of the night I think everyone's over at my apartment still drinking really I think there's not

a lot of embarrassing things before like the fans are so nice when people walk up to you because everyone talks so much shit not everyone in this room but other people talk so much shit on social media and it's always negative and then people will approach you like in the airport or like on the street they're like sorry to approach you like no I'll take any like nice welcomings I can get like people are genuinely nice yeah versus on social media so so for me so yesterday I had to

fly to DC yesterday I played at a festival yeah yeah Cs is great dude there's this place called the coconut club if you guys ever go to D.C. Best food I've had, maybe ever. Yeah, I'm getting off track here. Phnom, you would love it. I begged them. I was like, please, I'd want to win in Nashville.

Really? It's like a lot of Hawaiian stuff, a lot of pokey. I'm like, whatever. Okay, I'm off track here. But, so this girl that picks me up from the airport. He hates when I'm gross. He's like, oh. One time I was doing this.

I'll let you finish. What am I doing wrong? I was doing this in the kitchen? Why? I have a fart No Does that work? I think it's funny

Oh Well he didn't too Wait Jason was like What are you doing I was like Get away from me I'm letting the tooth out

Never It errs It actually It relieves your stomach One person knew it And I swear Everybody if you take away Anything from this podcast today

It's if you lean over like that Is that Adam looking at me like I'm a complete freak yet Adam Shut up okay, it works. Adam's Cleo's boyfriend. Oh, they're dating?

Oh, yeah. I thought there was chemistry, but I didn't want to stay anything. I really did, but I didn't know if someone was married or didn't want to insert my single girl opinion. Yeah, no. Good for you guys. Yeah, they're cute. Kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss.

Where's Clue? Is she even there? Anyways, Brandi, go on about your story. Sorry, I'm going to my tooth, so. D.C., so the girl that picks me up from the airport was like, oh my God, I love. I love you so much. You are so awesome. I saw you.

And I'm like, oh, so sweet. And then she's like, I saw you open up for Katie Perry last year. And I was like, that was Noah. And you're like, that was Noah. You're like, not me. They thought you were Miley? Noah. Noah.

My favorite. Oh, thank you. When we do a YFT podcast tour, I better see you front row, okay? Yes. I love Boston. We're coming to Boston, baby. I love this so much. Thank you, guys.

So cute. Wait, Brandy, what's your favorite thing right now? You, KB. Ah! And your boyfriend. I was about to say and... And sexy. Oh, shit.

Keep it moving. I've never told anyone his name, like, out loud before, so just hopefully no phones were out. Did people even remember the way she just said? No. It's the end of the... I thought you said my parents. I thought you said my fiancé. Oh, great.

Move on. Let's move on. Next question. Next question. Next question. All right. It's questions for Andy. I like this question a lot, Andy.

Who from The Bachelor World has slid into your DMs? I feel like the list is going to be long. Oh. I don't know. I'm like, do I know this one? I don't even know it. I think he might have been on. He was on a recent season, and I saw him, I don't even know his name, honestly.

him and another guy who's wearing a terrible floral ugly shirt at a party in New York No, because I know Wells, not Wells, Wills, who's Wills? Wills wears crazy shit. I don't know, but yeah, I slid in the, I met him, and I was a cool batch of, like, I'm old five years ago, like I have nothing in common with you

other than the fact that we... Speak for yourself, I was the year after you and dating a really fresh one. No, I'm saying, but there was nothing to talk about. Like, I didn't know his season, like we didn't share experiences. Yeah. Um, but yeah, he slid in the DMs and I was like, I don't know names. I'm not, I'm not opposed to DM sliding.

Oh, yeah, no. I definitely have gotten drunk and slid in some DMs. Ah, who's, yeah, who's him you slid into? Who's the funniest DMs you've ever slid into? Oh, my God. There's definitely like this quarterback that I saw at Super Bowl and he was like way too young and like, way out of my league. And I was like, hey, just, you know, just, you know, out of your league.

He was like 22. Which Super Bowl? Not this, not this recent one. You're out of his league then. No, no, no. I don't even know what team he plays. I was going to say the Rams got he's cute the Rams quarterback no but the coach is my friend oh he's too too too you know you're old is when you grew up with the coach he is the youngest

coach in NFL history though true but I'm like yeah he's hot oh Sean yeah yeah I don't know any NFL thing never looked at him like that maybe he should he should no I think he's like a model girlfriend that's when you know your your should get out of the game when they have model girlfriends no when your friends are the coach oh not the players that's kind of cooler though, because the players are all like 21. But I'm down for the DM slide. How else are you going to connect

with somebody? Look at Wells and Sarah. Like that's what I always say is like they're proof that the DM slide works. Jason slid into mine. Yeah, see? People ask that in dating apps and I'm like, well, how else are you going to meet someone? Like, look, there's like 300 chicks here right now. Like we're not going to Who here has met their guy on a dating app?

Or Instagram. Or Instagram? Because let's be agree with what Instagram is. Online. How many are single? Hey! I'm here for it, though. How many met at a library? Thank you.

Oh. Yeah, I'm down for the DM slide. Whatever. Okay. Okay, cool. I can't be picky anymore. Shouldn't be. I like this question, too.

It's KB, but I want Andy to answer also. She's just going to answer it. Who would you drink wine with? Let the dogs out. I'm not playing out with Leo too much. Who would you drink wine with dead or alive if you could pick anybody? Kurt Cobain. Oh, that's a good one.

I like that. These are very random, but Kurt Cobain or Brunei Brown. You've thought about this. Oh. Yeah, yeah. I would love to get, like, Oprah wasted. Yeah. That's how I feel about Bernay Brown.

You guys know who Brne Brown is? Author, right? Yeah. You know who Kurt Cobain is, right? Yeah. Oh, yeah. They know. I like those answers.

I feel like Kurt Cobain would have some f*** up stories. I feel like you'd get fucked up with them. I feel like I would make out with Kurt Cobain. is that weird he's dead i can't it doesn't matter and you have a boyfriend yeah that's what i mean yeah speaking a boyfriend kately

when are you and jason going to move in together just because i was on the bachelor doesn't mean I move that quick in all relationships okay we've only been together for what careful not even three months well we started talking in november dating we call

it? January 1st, the new year. We're like, New Year knew us. Was that your first date? No, our first date, well, technically our first date was like end of November, but we didn't, it wasn't like, hey, do you want to go on a date with me? It was like, hey, do you want to meet up with a bunch of friends? So what's the anniversary? Like, Wednesday January 1st. Okay. Yeah. I like that. You do? Yeah. Okay. So wedding next to remember. First. I think when you guys get married, you should get married on New Year's Eve. Yes, yeah. It'd be so cool. He thinks that's selfish. No. He said that it's, he said he feels bad asking people to, like, ruin their New Year's Eve plans.

I, I partially agree with him, but I think if you have a badass party, then it's not selfish. I would love. It's when you have, like, a shitty wedding on New Year's Eve. But if you have, like, a badass party, like, I'm totally down to not make plans for New Year's Eve and go to a badass wedding. Me too. I think it's genius because I never know what to do on New Year's. No, and it's so overrated. He was doing a, yeah.

January 1, 2020. That's soon. I like it. I'm like, when will you move in? What's the date today? March 24th. Okay, we'll probably move in around my birthday.

Aw. June 19. Gemini, what's up? I'm a Gemini. How much of his stuff is already at your house? Nothing. I was going to say, okay, when this move in happens. Yeah. Who's moving where?

You know? I won't I do not want to move to Seattle. Okay. I just don't. I don't know if he's a... I don't think he's opposed to moving into my house, but that was the house I bought with Sean. So I think I think we both just kind of want to start fresh somewhere. Get a freshie. Yeah.

New house. I'm not you guys. I'm not just saying this because I'm in your city. I'm not against Boston. Oh. Boston is one of my favorite cities and part of that is because of the people

have you guys are like, I'm not even from here! They're from New Hampshire. But I do love Boston. And I do love Buffalo, actually, too. Never been, but love it. I feel like it's Canadian. I feel like you're like an honorary Canadian. I love Buffalo. I've never been. Never been.

I love it, though. Jason's from there. Sounds great. It's a good answer. Pittsburgh, love it there too, totally. Maine. I've never been to Maine. I do love Maine.

I do love Maine. I don't need to go. I love Maine. I love Maine. Everywhere that people are shouting. Oh. Totally. I feel like it's not a live podcast unless we play Mary Make Love Murder at least once.

this is how we end a podcast I feel like this is gonna be I don't want to but that's I hate the term don't worry girl flexing in the back I see you and I'll get to you okay I don't like the terms Mary kill I'm like that's aggressive coming from me but I like Mary murder make love

so we're gonna play that murder is less aggressive than kill yeah it's like nice it's like murder It's like plotter. It's planned. Oh, more scrunchies. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Hey. Yeah, Cleo. I'm a fan of these neon scrunchies, by the way. What? I love the neon scrunchies. Oh, I'm obsessed. Neon is a trend for summer. Get on board.

Actually, I just made Clio send me to my Nashville home like all the neons. Oh, they're so good. Because spring. Can we fling them? Yeah. All right. Mary, make love murder. Both of you guys can answer.

Ben Blake and Dean. I would marry Ben. Okay. Oh, my God. What is the villain? I would... I mean, there's not... I mean, there's not one.

I would... I think I would make love to Blake only because... Isn't that Jason? Only because Dean doesn't like me. It's one of Jason's best friends. Blake is...

Scandal. Yeah, but I wouldn't. I would marry Blake then so that we could be sister of us. Well! Well! Wells. What about Wells?

We need two more names. Wells and who else? Chad. Chad. Who? Chad. Oh, Chad. Like The Chad?

The Chad. This one's for Andy. This one's for Andy. Okay, so we got the Chad, Juan Pablo. We got the Chad. We've got Juan Pablo. I need one more. Robbie.

Robbie. The Chad Juan Pablo and Robbie Hayes That's what we're going with here Okay, what is it? Robbie Hayes Juan Pablo and the Chad Caleb's face

That's not going to get a really tough one So there's no like three murders No, no it's not how it works, no That's tough It is tough I would kill Robbie I would marry Robbie I feel like you just

ignore him I'm like which one's the richest because I'd marry that one Does he even talk? Yeah too much On an obnoxious scale between

Robbie, Chad and mom like that guy's gonna talk the lad Like Chad can party though You could lock him in a basement Chad would party I'd marry Chad I'm like Really?

You're for sure the first person that's ever said that I would marry Chad because you just get so black out and then you be like go to bed honey and then you wake up Juan Pablo I feel like

would be like a nice European lover oh nope not no and then I might it's okay I guess maybe make love to Juan Pablo

just because then I don't have another yeah notch on the belt oh yeah I would just marry Robbie and put him in the basement We're finding loopholes. Whatever. Oh, man.

And then, no, kill one Pablo. I would probably f***. The Chad. Just like, see what he's recommend. Yeah. See what he's working with him. Totally. Get a little blackout drunk.

Yeah, with him. Yeah. Wake up in the desert. Yeah. Say, fuck you, Chris Harrison. Hopefully I've got all my limbs in place. Like, who knows? Chad said that.

He said, fuck you to Chris. Oh, then I would kill it. Yeah, I know. Okay. After I f*** him. more quick. That's all I got. One final one?

Chris Souls, De Mario, and Wells. I'm going to leave that one to Caitlin. I would marry Wells. I would have to kill Chris Souls. Really? Well, I can't see him anyways. He's in jail. But he's going to be...

But you know where he's at? You know, like he's saved? Oh, that's true. I'd marry crystals. Yeah, you don't have to worry about like what time he's coming home and shit. I'm married crystals. Make love to Wells and kill tomorrow.

Can we tell Wells that? I would do the same. Yeah. Sarah Hyland don't fucking kill him. I fucking love Wells. Y'all are insane. But that's a friend. That was a good one.

That's all I've got. Okay, guys, that was a fun game. Did you guys have fun at your boozy brunch? On a scale of one to ten, how much fun did you have? That's not a number. I feel like everyone's more lively now. Yeah, I'm like, I don't like it on the stage now. We're all drunk together.

Let's raise our glasses. Austin came out. And we're going to do a toast to, first of all, Andy, for coming on the pod. Love you. Love you. Toast to Brandy for being the boss-ass bitch of you. and the biggest toast is to all my vinos who always support everything

and I just love you guys so much and to the three dudes in the crowd you made it. You survived. Love you guys. Thanks for listening to Off the Vine with Caitlin Briscoe. Get new episodes every Tuesday exclusively on podcast1.com

the Podcast One app and subscribe on Apple Podcasts. Who's done with OTV? Sponsors for this week's Off the Vine are F Factor. Check out Factor.com and enter code Vine 15 for 15% off your first purchase. Walt Disney, plan your next magical getaway today. CW's in the dark. Don't miss the premiere April 4th on the CW. H&R Block.

Visit Hrblock.com to find the office closest to you. And TrueCar. Visit TrueCar for a more confident car buying experience.