Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Spring Break tour Calgary

Episode Date: March 26, 2019

Kaitlyn kicks off her Spring Break tour 2019 with a show in Calgary featuring Brandi Cyrus and Bri Cook! Join in the fun as Bri and Kaitlyn talk about the craziest night they’ve ever had in Calgary, Bri attempts to top her HOF confession, and the ladies perform their Air Supply skit. Simplisafe – Check out SimpliSafe.com/Vine today! Tommy John – Go To TommyJohn.com/vine for 20% off your first order See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Who's down with OTV? Who's that with OTV? Podcast One presents off the vine with Caitlin Bristow. Caitlin is creating a space where girls and gents can feel empowered to be themselves. Get ready for lots of laughs. Taboo topics. On filtered advice and wine. Lots of wine.

Get ready to shake things up. Here's Caitlin. You guys, I'm out of breath just from doing like eight jumps. Oh, wait, we have something we have to perform. Oh, okay. Wait, we were backstage and we heard Hulet the dogs. Yeah, we're like, are we supposed to be on stage? Oh, my God, let's go.

We were like doing tequila shots. Are we supposed to be out there right now? I blame Cleo. I think this is our song. Cleo didn't wrangle. Hey, question, Brandy. How loud is this crowd? You know, they're loud.

but I think they could be louder. I'm not going to lie. That's pretty good. That's the kind of shit I need to hear all night, okay? Because we are... I love you. You guys are called my Caitlin's choir up there. Oh, Katie.

They go all the way. Caitlin's choir. Yes. Can we start the wave? Everyone was down. Start from there. Five, six, seven, eight. And go.

And everybody in here, too. Go! I think we did that the wrong way. Okay, now everyone in the front row to the back row. Five, six, seven, eight, and go. Woo! It happened. Sick.

Okay, are we going to do our performance or what? Okay, so last night we may have had a few too many glasses of wine. Yeah, thank you. As we do. Thank you. And we were like, let's come up with a handshake. And did you guys see our Instagram story? How terrible is that handshake?

No, it was the best. So we are just going to ask a couple things from you tonight. Yep. One, laugh at our jokes. Get drunk. Two, laugh at our jokes. Three, pity laugh us, even if it's not funny. Okay, so let's hear a good pity laugh on three.

One, two, three. That was so funny. No, that was okay. One, two, three. Nailed it. Nailed it back here. Okay, so before we get started, we're going to do our intro. We're going to do our handshake for you. Ready? Here we go.

You guys, I got something ready for you? Also, I have severe camel toe in these pants, so if everybody could just forgive me. Okay, ready? Don't look down there. Just a little mood music. Oh, okay, okay. Ready? Hello.

How are you? Good. And you? I am doing really great I'm doing even better What is this a competition I think it might be Uh huh

Uh huh Uh huh uh huh Swing dance Dillin li li li nae Dillinin it Dillin la la laenna in it Dillin la de la de la de la de la de la de la de la de Too much

And applaud See Nope We killed it We killed it confidence That was the best handshake I've ever done in my whole life ever ever ever I bet everybody was recording that and everyone's gonna go home and practice it would be like oh my god can we

be them okay okay brandy what up y'all what a brand give it up for brandy you guys ain't nothing better than a height man you want me with you 24 7365 now or what do what in the what now 24 7365 are you around me 24 hours a day seven days a week thank you 65 days a year. I know the reference. Thank you. Thank you. I thought you were as old as us, Caitlin.

Come on. I'm older. This is the problem. That's why she doesn't get it, Brandy. I would like to know how many guys are in the audience. I heard girls wooing as if you were guys. Okay, one more time, just the boys. Three.

There's three. And you know what? And two of those were Nick, my husband. Yeah. your husband and you know what the three that are here are going to really quickly realize why they don't come to these yeah they're like I just talked about my

camel toes him right there heyo oh yeah what's your name in the front Paul Paul's to the wall wow that landed was that a pity laugh for real no that was a real one okay and also here we go cheers everybody look us in the eyes

I can't tell you, I might have just had a little moment in the back where I got emotional. She always does. No? Only for my vinals. No, no, no, that's what I mean. I said she always does because this is my second live podcast I've done with her. And she's always like, why are they here? Why do they like me?

Yeah. I'm like, they don't like you. They love you. Okay, I'm also obsessed with you and your pink scrunchy in the front row. Pink scrunchy pink hair. Get it, girl. Hey, we're just going to take a quick break. I'm lucky enough to live in a nice neighborhood, not a big deal, where bad stuff almost never happens,

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Just go to simplysafe.com slash vine to order today. That's simplysafe.com slash vine. So there's something about Calgary that is just electric. This is ruffling some feathers. Yeah, we want to say, we want to say, welcome to the most controversial podcast in podcasting history you guys

I'm from Edmonton to a quick poll who is here from Calgary and you live in Calgary this is why I love Calgary who here is from Edmonton oh that's 50-50 my girls who hears from Red Deer Lethbridge

B.C. Fort McMurray. What? There's Fort McMurray cheers? You guys. I'm going to get crazy. Winnipeg. That was a pity woo. Hey, hey, you guys, you forgot Nashville. Nashville.

Oh, just me. Cool. Cool. Brandy, the only one. Are you seriously from Nashville? She just wants to go there. Okay. So, you guys, we just want to say we, everyone knows we grew up in Ladook, like, who's from Lajun? Yeah, who's from Ladook? Oh, Haley. Haley, my sister.

We know. Let me just say, thank you to the Ementonians who came out, because even, yes, this is what we want to touch on. Even my friends didn't come. Everyone was messaging me being like, why not Eventon? And I was like, you can drive if you care to see me. Or fly, Haley flew. Yeah. From Lijon.

Yeah. Get it together. A 29 minute flight. Plus. Plus, Calgary is one of my top cities for followers. So get your shit together, Edmond's end. You did it, Calgary. Okay.

What's on our agenda for today? But one thing we want to say is we grew up in Laduke, and we've been, like, conditioned to just, like, L.A. Hate Calgary. Yeah. Oh, you don't. We don't. You don't like Calgary, because you're from almost Edmont.

Right out of the womb, I was told to not like Calgary. I was dressed in Oilers' pajamas as a child. Okay, no, wait. I had a Wayne Gretzky bib. Wait, yes. Yes, Edmonton, yes, Calgary, is our thing. We're all about babes supporting babes, and we just said to each other, why don't we do cities supporting cities?

Yeah. Why can't we all just get along? Why? No, we have a pact that we're forcing you to make tonight. Otherwise, you can get out of here. You get... What? What?

Ben has a city. Okay, we're not going into that right now. But we're going into, we don't want our cities to fight anymore. We're in the same province, Alberta. Can we come together and just say, we love burda? Berta, Berta, Berta, Berta. I mean Berta. I mean, we just got a whole crowd to chant Berta.

But really, most of people are like, no, we're not on board with this. Listen, what we have to say is, okay, okay, our hockey teams play each other, cool. They can be mad about that. Keep it in the rink, keep it in the ring, bitches. Football, keep it in the stadium. But when it comes to, like, Edmonton has their cool things. Calgary has their cool things. There's great things about both cities.

Can we all agree right now? Edmonton has Cactus Club. And the River Valley. And West Evanton Bowl. Oh, yeah. West Eminton Mall West Edmont

So can we make the pact right now that we're going to support each other's cities Everybody grab your neighbor's hand And sway Hold your wine And sing the song that we listen to In elementary

We are children Children of the Light We are shining Eight. In the darkness of the light, hold for this world. I can't hear you. Raise the rules. Through all the land.

Touch the heart of everyone. She knows it. Take everybody's hand. And also peanut butter jam sandwiches. Oh, what? Pancakes and ham red radishes. Anything goes. All right.

I bet you guys did know. We are all from Alberta here. You know what? I feel like I'm really close to everybody right now. Did that not just bring you all together? I really thought you were going to say you're close to orgasm, but you don't. Okay, so. I tried to think of something funny, and I got lost.

So here we go. We didn't do our Ellen's. Oh, shh. That's embarrassing. And Brandy was like, when do I stop the music? Okay, my ab workout's not so great. I just had to keep. Brandy, give us a beat.

Oh, I've got something. queued up for you. Okay. Touch this. Oh, yeah. Can't touch this. Get it. Hey, hey, hey.

Can't touch this. My, my, my, my music. That's it. That's the dance. Is that a dance? Would you call that a dance? Oh, is it. I don't watch enough that was not.

Are you not entertained? What about the choir? Don't let the choir be louder than you guys. Yeah, that would be embarrassing. What do we got going on? Oh! I'm scared. What do we got going on?

We need to talk about so many things. Okay, first of all, one of the craziest nights of our life ever, ever in the history of our 32-33 years. Almost 33? No, 34. 35. Oh, my God. We're best friends. I know her age.

What happened in Calgary in 2004? And luckily there was no Instagram. There was no... Was there Facebook yet? Nope. I mean not for us because we weren't in college. Because I always say like what happens at a party? What happens in Vegas stays on Instagram?

And when we went in Calgary, we went nuts at the stampede. Wait, let's... Let's save it. Calgary Pride! We went nuts. We first of all were like, let's go the stampede. We drove up in like our... parents card told them we were like just having a sleepover for like which is weird because we were

adults we're just having a sleep over we we this is our thing we would plan to go places and we'd be like well we can't afford a hotel we'll just sleep in our car overnight as you know that's what we did and so we went and we got out of our car parked i don't know somewhere around 17th ab is that the thing yeah and so we're putting all these coins in and these guys walk by they're like it's 10 p.m. you don't have to pay for parking after six. So it was off to a great start. And we put all our money in the meter. We're like, we have no money for beer. Yeah. And we're like, we will get guys to buy us drinks tonight. We will. And we will. And we did. And we did. Anyways, so we're going nuts, stampede style. And these guys were like, well, let's continue the party back at our

house. And we're like, okay. We're like, we didn't drink enough so we definitely eat some more drinks. Let's go. Let's go with these random strangers. smart we get to their house not smart and the door is open and their dog was stolen and they had he starts crying and yelling his dog's name

yeah and the house had been broken into and everything was robbed and we walk into like party party where's your dog where's your dog where are your things everything was gone

his mattress is flipped over which is a red flag but then also The toilet seats, I was like, I have to pee. Oh, God, what's going on here? And the toilet seat was flipped open, which we later learned is a code for... Drug dealers. Drugs.

And then we're like, we need to leave. No, we were so high on cocaine. We're like, great spot. No, I'm just kidding. No, oh my God, you guys. Cut that. No, just kidding. Did I just see?

Oh, that was Brett. Shock value. She was like, edit that out because that didn't happen. Just kidding. But they didn't... God, Caitlin! She's just trying to make you laugh. This is a PG event, Caitlin?

No, I'm just kidding. It's not. I was so innocent back then. Yeah. Just going to random dude's house is drunk. We were just like, we're not drunk enough. Can we have a shot about that? Yeah.

But then we're like, we think our parking meter's running out. We tried to leave. And then they're like, don't leave. You don't have to pay for parking after 10. We're like, what does this keep happening? Yeah. And then they got weird. We're like, we're totally just going to go to the 7-11 and get everybody hot dogs.

Yeah, we're like, we're going to get everyone snacks, nachos, and we're just trying to take off. And they were like, you can't leave. Yeah, and it got, it got weird, but they were definitely drug dealers, and we got out. We got out, and we're here today. Yeah. Moral of the story is, don't go back to weird guys' houses. Unless they have cocaine. Can't believe.

believe you. Why am I on this cocaine joke kick? It's like, I've never done this before. Anyways. How's everybody doing? I can't tell you how much it means to me that you guys all came here tonight just to hang out with us and didn't understand you, but it was something very

exciting. Oh, there's more people up there. And I love you. With all my heart. This is amazing. It really is. Honestly, just like, look at these.

I'm not going to get emotional. But it just means so much to me. I mean, I say this all the time to people, and people notice you guys, okay? The vinos are a strong gang in the podcast world. Like, I will podcast with anyone from, like, not Dex Shepherd, but that would be cool. One day, one day.

Like, big podcasts to, like, any podcast. They're like, your vinos are everything. They are a force. you guys are a force you are recognized and uh i want to say something about the vinos so i was doing a little creep creep on the facebook page and your instagram comments and some twitter mentions

and there are so many vinos who came here by themselves tonight put up her put up your hands i love you because they're like i just need to see her and i don't care if i have a date and we love that which says a lot about your confidence and also

Make friends Like you're all in here You're friends She has something to say Oh She's getting work to fly here Okay let's not name her We want to keep her job

Oh Oh her boss approved Okay Tell her I'll send her a scrunchy She's wearing a scrunchy too That's so great That's the thing is the vinos all come together And they make friends in different cities

And have like vino hangouts We heard there was vino meet up tonight Paul knows Paul, Paul's like, number one fan. Paul's like my girlfriend said I'd get a BJ later. I better get that BJ. Or during the show, front row. Hey, follow up with me later.

I'll make sure you get it. What, are you shocked by that? My best friend of 32 years is like, she said BJ in cocaine. What? Also, we heard there's a couple of friends who are sitting apart in the V. IP section because they wanted

you and where's the other one? Oh, you're not that far apart. Give her a massage. I thought you were like here and here. How did you fight for who got the front seat? She bought it for her. Fair, okay. Fair. Well, you should just do a little reach around hand, hold. Oh, I thought you're going to say something else.

Reach around. I need to tone it down. No, they like your risque shit. Katrina's coming out. Hurricane Katrina. She'll get you. She'll get you. What else we got on the agenda here? Okay, well, you guys, don't mean to make you jealous, but I met Jason this weekend.

I met him before you, Bree. I know. Okay, well, you and Brandy. Brandy met him before I did. Oh, that's true. All right, to keep this podcast free, let's take a minute. And as you may have noticed, my spring break tour is in full swing, which means I get turned up and my sheets get turned down. I don't ever have to worry about how nice my room.

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Are you cool with this? I have nothing to hide. Okay. Here we go. I say that now, but later Can we cut that? Yeah, Brandy came over on Canadian Thanksgiving. I had friends over on Canadian Thanksgiving. So, for the crowd, Thanksgiving. Just normal Thanksgiving. Well, technically, American Thanksgiving makes sense because it was like the day the Pilgrims.

Like, it's a thing. And then Canadians were like, well, I just want to be thankful because I'm so sweet. No, it's Thanksgiving and American Thanksgiving. It's Thanksgiving time. Oh. It's later. Anyways, first of all, we're going to circle back to Thanksgiving with them.

We are going to circle back. You wait. Circle back. Anyways, Brandy comes over, and this is in prime time of goodbye Sean. And... You missed the goodbye Sean tour. I was there for that tour. It was prime time.

Hit it. NSYNC. I could. By the moment, it would be gone. I was there for that tour, I can attest. So Brandy comes over, and I was like, just want to be around friends, whatever. And this was in October.

And Blake came, too, with Brandy, because they're not dating. They're friends. Thank you about Tenda. I want to set him up with Hannah G. big time, but we'll save that for another conversation. I know, I know. I've been on it all day.

Don't worry. Keep going? So we're like talking about it. I'm like, yeah, I saw you're in Vegas with like Blake and Jason and blah, at this point. Oh, I know what's happening. At this point, I am like, Jason's not even on. freaking radar. He's maybe a podcast guest in my mind. And so he's, we're talking and Brandy

goes, I was like, what was, um, it was before Blake got there. Well, what's Blake like? What was Jason like? So anyways, Brandy goes, I get zero sexual vibes from Jason. Like, he is the least sexual guy. She should be glad I said this. I was. And now in hindsight, it's like, thank God I said that. What if I'd come to her house and been like, oh my God, I totally, I wish I'd slept with Jason in Vegas. Well, you wouldn't be here DJing for us right now. No, I would not. You wouldn't. No, I would not. But you were

like, no. And you were like, he gets so drunk. He was blackout. He has to admit to that. And I was like, okay, the drunk I can get down with, but the no sex appeal, oh. Okay, that shocks me because I was afraid to meet Jason because I'm like, what if I'm

attracted to him? Oh, no. My husband was right there. also right there. And he's also right there. Everyone say how to Nick. Everybody say how to Nick. Love you, babe. He's the good Nick. You know why? Nick looks like Jason. That's why I'm like, uh-oh, can I meet Jason? Yeah. It's funny. It's funny because I was kind of like, oh, I didn't think anything of it. So then when I went to go, when I went to go podcast with Jason, I was like, well, Brandy said there's zero sex apparel. First of all, you weren't even looking, you were crying when he walked in. I was crying. Then you were like, oh God. He was, I see me cry. He

thinks I'm on me. Yeah, I was crying. And I walked in, and I was like, sorry, I'm like crying. And he was like, and I like you. Yeah, and get a load of Jason's answer. He goes, well, I just came from a luncheon for supporting Down syndrome, and I cried too because I was so moved, so we're going to have like a soft Tuesday together, and he hugged me, and I was like, at what point does lunch become luncheon it's when you're inside having a lunch in in a suit in a suit most likely

yeah it's fancy lunch Jason's always in a suit he like goes to bed in a suit it's weird but I was like okay wait this guy's awesome and so I left the podcast I know I've told the story so many times but he left and I was like man whoever dates that guy is so lucky and then he went around the corner and called his best friend he goes man I think I'm in love

oh my god and he didn't he just I mean I think he knew things were bad because I was crying anyways but he didn't know fast forward to now it just makes so much sense you guys like I'm not gonna speak negatively

about anything I mean I could but I'm not going to but he I'll speak negatively if you want I know want to compare anybody, but I just want to say that that say it for the Q&A.

Spill the two. We, um, Nick and I, Nick and a test, do a little yep, Nick. Yep. Yep. Yep. That, when we met Jason, we were just like, oh my God, like, are we in love with Jason, too?

We were just like, holy shit. He just fits right into the friendship, the four. You got to fit into the four. He drinks. But also, no, like, can I be serious for one second? Yeah. He fits in so well to the friendship to your life. You fit into his life.

He treats her so well the way she's always deserved to be treated. And he treats her with so much respect. He loves her so much. He's not afraid. He's not too cool to show her that he loves her. And he's just... He loves me? Oh, God.

He loves you so much. Should you read the text? You just sent you? You guys, you're going to die. He's going to be like, did I just hear the wedding vows? Like, what is, this is just a regular text for Jason. This is. Here we go.

He goes, should I, or is this cocky? Okay, no, no. No, no, no, read it. Okay, maybe just read some highlights. Okay, he said, you are my goddamn hero and a legend in the eyes of your peers. love you. Go out tonight and show them why. You give

everybody hope and you inspire them the way you do and empower them to be the best they can every day. You just be proud of yourself and let them know how much you also care about them. Go fucking get them, Tiger. Let's

fucking go, babe. You guys, when Jason First of all, I feel like there's a little bit talking back there. Shush. Yeah, choir. You're getting in our background noise. I'm just like, I'm hearing too many sounds.

Go on. When, when, so he flew in just to meet Nick and I and Haley this weekend. And he flew in for one night. It was a 36-hour trip. And by our, I don't know, seven, we were doing a five-minute group hug, swaying back and forth the four of us. Probably singing, we are children of the light. And we've never done that with any of your other boyfriends, ever.

No, I don't think I've ever done a group hug like that in my whole life, but we're like, Jason, get in here. I can't believe how badly I was, like, rooting for him to be the bachelor. I was like, that guy better be the bachelor. He is the bachelor that America and Canada deserves. You know what? They really should have, like, in hindsight, made him because he is just so damn lovable, but I'm just so glad he wasn't because of her.

I'll drink to that. Drink to it. God, we love Jason. Is that enough Jason love? Yeah, that's enough. Like, do I love him more than her? I mean, I can't seem desperate. Stop it.

What's next? Although we did get it a little annoyed at our husbands. Yeah, we did. Husbands. I was like, Jason, if you could go out one time and not wear a blazer, that'd be great. No, no, no, it wasn't that. It was when we were trying to perform what we're going to perform for you guys later. Nick and Jason kept talking.

we're like, shish. And if you can't tell, we don't like when all the attention isn't on us. Yeah, it's got to be on us all at all times. We were performing, and they were like, you want to play any chill? And then I really stepped it up a notch. Like, I threw my neck out this entire week because I was dancing so hard for the guys. And they were just, like, having a little man moment.

Some ladies sent me a DM and asked why I let you dance like that for my man. She was like, why are you letting her dance like that in front of your man? I was like, because she is. getting it and I ain't stopping it. Because babes support babes, you guys. Yeah. I was like, um, she's married. Otherwise, I'd be like, sit the f*** down.

Otherwise, they'd be like, we can't be friends. Okay. I feel like we should confess. Oh. Okay. I'm just in that zone where I'm like, you know. Oh, man. Here we go.

I don't think I've had enough to drink. You know what I want to talk about before? Confessions? Okay. Is the fact that your dad was so mad that he didn't meet Jason because he came one day late. So he goes, did your mom meet her? Or did your mom meet him? I'm like, yeah. And then he said, oh, you guys met Jason?

Good to know. Someone met him. My dad wants to meet him so bad. But then what did he? He said something really. Okay, my dad is the most beautiful man of all time. a jam in the rough. This is what we do. Haley, Haley, is your dad, not the greatest?

Yes. He's literally the sweetest man. If anyone meets him, they're like, what? He's like the sweet. How is this? He's got this little mustache. Oh, God. And he's tiny, and he just really listens to everything you have to say.

And, like, all growing up, he just really, like, support us. And he, I remember one time, he goes, Kate, if you need me to get you tampons. I see that you bleach your arm hair because you're embarrassed of how dark it is I'll get you bleach You know what he said to me last night So he went to leave Then he realized they forgot their keys in the Uber

Earlier and then he had to come back But before we left I almost cried He hugged me and he went He grabbed my shoulders and he went Thank you. Thank you for always being there For Caitlin You're always there for her

And I was like, I love you, Daddy. He came and flew out to be with me during the whole breakup, and I slept on Tucker's bed in front of a fireplace crying, and he just, like, sat there around my back. Anyways, what we're saying is he's a beautiful man.

Okay, that's just to give you the context. Context. Yes, give Mike Brister a woo-woo. Yeah, although I'll never let him listen to my podcast. No, he wanted to, like, stay for the podcast. We're like, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Like, we're talking about tampons and cocaine. He can't be here. So we were playing the game, What Do You Mean? And one, okay, and they're sticking around because they lost their keys. And so I'm like, Dad, are you sure you want to be here? Well, like my mom, I'll be like, I'll say anything. My dad, and so we're sitting there, and it's like, you know,

you put up the picture and it's cards against humanity style and you think, and my one card that my dad was helping me play said, when you and your dad have the same taste in porn. And I was like, do you be dad? And then the next one, I was like, no, no, not that one. And he's like reading the next one. And it said, when the tampon string hits your butt hole. And I was like, well, not that one either.

And it tickles a bit. Yeah. And then what I ended up having to read in front of your dad was when you did laundry, you're not sure if you're wearing a cum rag. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. My dad was there for that.

Yeah, it was, um, it was something. It was something. And so, you know, my dad, who's usually just, he's, he's, he's a feminist. He's, like, a very empowering man. He's, like, just the sweetest, he doesn't. He said, he said, girls, you think I haven't heard it all. He coached hockey and played hockey growing up. But so, anyways, he's leaving, and I was like, dad, I'm just, like, blushing.

Like, I can't believe I'm, even though he watches all my Instagram stories, which is another story. But we're like, we can't believe you watch us play a little bit of this game. And he goes, you say it. He goes, don't worry about it, you little slutty. Bitches. Dead. Mike Bristow called us slutty bitches.

But you know what? The one thing Mike Bristow and I always say to each other is one time we were drunk. Yeah. When does that happen? My dad's come and pick us up from bars like so many times. Can't tell you to me.

And Caitlin was in the front scene and she goes brie and I go, Twat. She said twat instead of what? And then he was sober driving. like, ha, ha, ha, twat. So to this day, this was, we were 18 years old because Alberta drinking age, everybody, 18.

We're all so conditioned. We know it, and he goes, ha, ha, ha, ha, twat. So, for, what, how old am I now? 32. Do the quick math. 32 minus 18? 14. Thank you.

For 14 years, Mike and I have been reading each other, oh, hi, Mike, hi, Brie, aw, twat. And it's not weird anymore. It's just, it's just our code word for each other. is how Brandy doesn't post her new boyfriend on social media. I've heard he's a sexy twat. Listen. I respect his privacy, okay?

But does he want that? Does he want you to show him off? I don't know. He doesn't have Instagram. He doesn't have Facebook. He doesn't have anything. And so it's never been like a spoken. I'm not going to post about you.

Don't do that. It's just like this unspoken, like, I feel like I shouldn't. Oh, okay. Yeah. How are you going to tag the guy who doesn't have anything? Instagram. Well, I mean, I just feel like, I don't know, like, weird about it. And it's never, he's never been like, why don't you? So I'm like, what do I do? Yeah, because he doesn't see it. He doesn't have Instagram. He's not going to know. Just do it, brandy. What does it like? His ex-girlfriend heard that I talked about him on my podcast, and it became a whole thing. He was fine with it. But she freaking listened to the whole thing. And I was talking about how much sex we had and how good it was. And to know she's at her listen to it. I was kind of like, yeah. Talk about it more. Get it. What's the sex? Like, go. Uh, no, it's, great. Went from good to great.

Who went on to have sex with Brandy? Look at that outfit. Stand up, Brandy. Yeah. So the people what you're working with. Oh, God. Yes. These guys are getting the view of it the whole time. Uh, no, great sex. Great sex. What can I say?

You rock the Reebok. Oh, thanks. So cute. I mean, look at you. Yeah? Yeah. I didn't get any rebuck, but I have a Bob Ross shirt. Give it up for B. Ross. It is funny that you have them.

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slash vine now and get 20% off your first order that's tommyjohn.com slash vine for 20% off okay well i guess we should confess then okay yeah confess circle back to confessions okay so what was mine Wait, woo confessions. What? Woo! Oh, woo! Oh, woo! Woo!

Are we fading? Guys, drink up. Come on. What was my confession? Oh, my confession. Oh, my gosh. It has so many things to do with my dad. Oh, God, this is...

We're coming back to your dad, but... Okay, so, um, Mike Bristow, we just moved in... We just moved to Calgary a year ago. My husband and I and our two boys. And Mike hadn't seen our... Our house yet, so... Nick was giving him the grand tour, and Caitlin's staying in the guest room in the basement

and didn't know we were giving the grand tour. And her and Jason were just there. The night before Mike showed up. I don't know what's worse. Sunny side up panties or lube. Oh, no. Panties for sure. No.

Yeah. No, no, no. No, for your dad to see. Spoiler alert, there was both. So Nick opens the door. He goes, and here's the guest room. And I go down the stairs like this. New.

Panties. Panties everywhere. Loob. And it was called love oil. And Bree was like, maybe, maybe you give a little, like, love to your shoulders. Like a little love oil on your shoulders. I was like, yeah, okay. But to your vagina.

And just, just sidebar. I'm a big K-Y jelly guy. There are sponsors on my podcast, and this love oil was a gift, but from a podcast that I was just on, so I didn't use it. I didn't use it. Dad. Dad. They use it. Okay, that reminds me of something that just happened to me the night before when Jason came over to my house, and we were giving... Is this your confession? Well, this is not the one you're going to die yet. I don't know if I want to tell you guys the one that she's going to die. Who put water up here? We haven't even cracked it.

Okay. So, so, um, When we were giving Jason the grand tour, we showed him the master bedroom. I'd cleaned up before he came. I was like, here's the bedroom, here's the bathroom. And I pointed to my tub. I was like, look at my big tub. But then his head went towards the shower. He's like, what a great shower.

And my Vaj Wash was out. Oh. Just like full on out. Wait, there's Vag wash? Vaj wash. There's a specific wash for Vaj. Are you kidding? I like it to smell a little bit sweet when I know I'm going to get some.

Nick. Wait. Why don't I do this? There's a sweet watch. How do you not know about this? I mean, you guys, it's just in the drugstore. Wait, Brandy, what? Everyone knows.

Oh, God, we. Everyone knows. I just have a naturally sweet smelling vage. Brie. It's just so naturally sweet. Brie, you do know about pineapple, right? Oh, I've heard about pineapple. No, that's a myth.

No, it's not. I tested it. Oh, you did? Oh, you did? Yeah, I should be on Mythbusters. I feel like you need to ask Jason if it works rather than yourself. Brandy, do you have a confession? I will never top my last confession.

Nope, but tell it. I can't even try. I mean, surely they know. These are your biggest fans. Did you hear about the time she hooked up with a guy and the dog ate her tampon? Yes. You guys know this. You guys know this.

I'll never top that confession. But you don't have to top it, but you got anything for us? Oh, gosh. Um, I'm not disgusting. I really, I really don't think I do. I might be able to chop it. Please try to top it. Okay, oh my God, I haven't told anyone this in my whole life.

Did you fill up your own wine? I'm gonna come fill up my wine. I filled up both our wines. I am a good hostess. With the mostus. Come host. Just kidding. Okay, so.

I haven't told anyone this, so I'm pretty nervous. I need you guys to really like cheer. Yeah, Brandy, come on. Get in here, girl. Oh, wind me. Okay. So I wanted to tell her this a few months ago, but I was like, I'm going to save it for the pod. Wow.

Because it's better. I actually said you're going to die. We talk every day, so, okay. Yeah, we talk every day, and I didn't tell you this happen. Oh, God. Okay. I'm even nervous. We have two friends, Nick knows, our two good friends, Dom and Holly,

and we go out with them a lot, like double. dates we get pretty lit this is not sexual so don't go let your brain go there and Nick and I have two sons they don't have kids yet so we get very excited your sons don't have kids yet

no sorry Dom and Holly don't have kids yet so when they can go out whenever they want basically so when we get to go out we're like yes we have like a babysitter like you let's get like we're so excited to get out and so we go out we get pretty liddy

and pretty aunt lydia pretty for those lydia doubt fire what's the show i just quoted um aunt lyddy no handma's tail yes yeah aunt lydie you get a scrunchy and you get a scrunchy um aunt lydia go on okay and so uh i came home pretty drunk in front of my babysitter who's babysitting tonight for our kids Shout out to Christina. Christina. Yeah, okay. She hates me. I call her Christine.

Okay, so I come home and I'm so drunk that I can't even look at the babysitter in the eyes. Head down. Nick's like, give me the money, I'll pay her, God. So we go upstairs and I'm trying to sleep on the closet floor because we have heated floors in our bathroom slash closet. And I'm like, Nick, have you ever been down here? It's so comfortable. And he's like, get to bed, you freak. So then I said, oh, no, I forgot my water bottle.

And he goes, God, I'll go get you one. And so we have, like, you saw my water bottle cabinet today. Like eight or nine different varieties. Yet Nick gets the Yet Yety bottle, which is, do you guys know what a Yeti bottle is? What does it fit two bottles of wine? It's huge. It's very fat. And I'm like, you think in my drunken state that I can just, like, gulp a Yeti bottle of water?

I was like, why did you do that? He's like, well, I only filled it up about a quarter full. I was like, okay, but still, what were you thinking? But I was too drunk to do anything about it. So in the morning, I wake up around 6 a.m. And I'm like, oh, my God, I'm so hung over. And so I go to take a sip of my water bottle, and I go, Oh.

Was it vodka? No, and I'm like, oh God, oh God. You threw up in it. What's in my mouth? I go to the sink and I spit it out and it's chunky red wine. And then I had the flashback. I told you you were going to die. She can't do vomit.

I had the flashback. I'm like, right around 2.30 in the morning, I threw up in the Yeti bottle because I went, yeah. What a great throw-up bowl. forgot, woke up four hours later, and sipped it. The crowd's dinging it, you guys. I mean, in that moment, in that moment where you like, this is great podcast content? Yeah, I was like, well, I got to save this because I...

I haven't even told Nick, Nick is like, he's leaving by... Okay, I'll sign the divorce papers later. I love you. You didn't know this, Nick? He didn't know. Oh, he did not. Nick's like, I'm out. You didn't know. You guys are married.

You have to stay with me. And I was like, but I was in denial. I'm like, that didn't happen. That didn't happen. I went to whole, I'm sorry, I went downstairs and I just like washed it out with water. And I was like, this didn't not happen. But so much soap and I'm like, go back to bed. You're still drunk.

This didn't happen. That's fucking gross, dude. And now it's real. Now it's real. If there's one thing, you guys, I didn't swallow. Oh, okay. Okay, then that's cool. It's cool.

You just drink your own pukry. My freaking, my confession was going to be that I just rolled up toilet paper to try and hide my freaking camel toe. You guys. You win. She stuffs down there. Do you get, well, you know, you wear tight pants. You got your tight pants on. Everybody's talking about your tight pants.

She's got her tight pants. She's got our tight pants on. Uh-uh. I can. not landing this is where the pity laugh comes in she's got her tight pants on and she drank her own puke wow that's gross man you know what i'll see myself out good to see you guys do we do we forgive her sins

of course you do bob bob do you forgive do you forgive do you forget Bob says it was just a happy little accident. Yeah. Drink to breeze, vomit. Now I'm just picturing drinking vomit. It's not a full drink if you don't swallow. As if Brandy, as if you don't have one quick confession for me while we're here, yeah. You ever drink your own cute?

She knows this is how the show works. You don't have one? Tell me. You're in a new relationship. I know, I'm trying to think back to my trip and think if I can think of anything. I really, I don't know, man. I don't know, man. This is a confession.

Here's a confession. Okay. I feel like I've talked about it on my podcast, but I'll let you guys in on the secret. Before I just went to meet this guy in South Africa, I had nine sex in two and a half years. Brandy. Yeah, that long. And I told him, he probably thought that was hot. He was like, it's been a while for me too.

And I was like, no, you don't understand. That's, guys probably like that. I think he was down. I think he was down. But Brandy, you had sex with yourself. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. She's okay.

She's okay. She's okay. We're good. We're good. I told him it's so embarrassing. I think Jason knew to not ask. I mean, he was like, yeah, I will never watch your season. I'm like, probably the best idea you've ever had.

Okay, we're going to take a quick moment. 2019 has just started and yet history has already been made. The new normal is here. Have you guys seen it? Brought to life in a short. short film that runs only two minutes long, the new normal seeks to leave behind 80 years of unjust prohibition in favor of a safer, happier world. It depicts a product that once drove good people to the black market as one that today is creating a new global market. In this new

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Caitlin Bristow. Alexa isn't the only one with breaking news. Make sure to hang around at the end of this podcast for the latest breaking headlines on the AP News Minute. This week on Divorce Sucks with Laura Wasser. I love weddings. I think they're beautiful and wonderful.

The only fun thing is like, When somebody's creepy uncle Yeah I'm usually the creepy uncle Oh my God That was my divorce lawyer She just fell into the cake Laura is joined in the studio

With the hilarious actress turned podcasting superstar Anna Ferris There's more but I won't No It's perfect You Laura No I wasn't cutting you off

Download new episodes of divorce sucks With Laura Wasser Every week on podcast one You're listening to Off the Vine with Caitlin Bristow I say we play a game. Game time. I say we pull my sister up here to play a game.

Haley, Haley, Haley, Haley, Haley, Haley, Haley, Haley. This is going to be fun, okay? You guys, it's basically like cards against humanity. Is that what it's called? But it's, so it's called, that's what she said. Brandy's going to play, too. God, you have good eyebrows. Oh, thank you.

It's not even fair. Okay, so here's how it is. called, that's what she said. You are, you are going to be the judge. Caitlin's going to be the judge. So you've got the, um, the beginning half of the sentence.

Oh my God, I look at one of my cards. And we, and between Brandy, Haley, and I, we have to come up with the best end of the sentence. Okay.

And I think you'll probably just go off like laughter. Yeah. Laugh for me, guys. No, laugh for everybody. Okay, here we go. Here we go. Okay, ready? Yep

While getting a Brazilian I cringed when the lady said to me A lot of good one Quick side story while we're on this topic What do we do with it? Can we just put it down? Give it to me Yep I was getting a Brazilian once

And the lady was Russian And I was like okay you can stop That really hurts And she goes Oh no no you will regret She was scary I kept going Okay ready

Yeah okay Oh So start out Oh she dropped it She's so drunk, you guys. Wait, now I forget. Uh-oh. Wait.

Oh, that is the one I drunk. Sorry, guys. Okay. Okay, okay, okay. While getting a Brazilian, I cringed when the lady said to me, are you kidding me? You should eat more pineapple. No.

Brandy. That was her. I can't play this game. It was too good. It was too good. Me. How the shit? Did you get that?

The universe is on my side. Well, clearly Brandy's winning. Yeah, but let's keep going. Let's see. While getting a Brazilian, I cringed when the lady said to me, Mm. Lick it and let me know how it tastes. Oh, my God.

All so hilarious. Ew. That's a salt, brother. While getting a Brazilian, and I cringed when the lady said to me, open up, here comes the choo-choo train. I already know who each one came from. Pineapple, choo-choo-train.

Yeah. Lick it and let me know how it tastes. Now here's the thing, all hilarious, but are we all in agreement that the pineapple wins? Pineapple win. Hey. That's not fair. How did you get that?

I don't know. Did you look at it and be like, shit? Yeah, it's right. I love one of my colleagues. You're like, no matter what, pineapple. Yeah. Okay, you guys have more cards?

You guys all go home tonight and have a slice of pineapple. Yeah. Do it for Paul. That's your homework. I'm going to have more than a slice. You do it for Paul. Actually, Paul, you do it for her, too. Yeah, we heard the other way around.

Is that your girlfriend? Oh, Beyonce. Congratulations. This is my least favorite question, but when's the date? Oh, April 1st? Get it? Okay. Okay, come back in a year and you'll come to their wedding.

Can I officiate it? Okay. I'm already booked for a woman's birth. No, that was October. You're fine. You're not double-booked. Okay, ready? Yep, here we go.

Okay. Okay, I like this one. Things you regret texting your ex after midnight. I really like this game. Yeah, there's not one good thing that can come on that. I don't have any good ones. You're going to have to have a shitty one and lose. I'm going to lose this.

Oh, I got it. You can't look at it already. Yes, I can. I'm the judge. Things you regret texting your ex after midnight. Enjoy my meat tender with a warm pink center. Accurate. Things you regret texting your ex after midnight. Bear down.

and get ready for insertion. She looked right at me. Things you regret texting your ex after midnight. Just beat it. No, that's what you want to text. Oh, well, it depends on the context. Just beat it. I think...

The first two. Or like, just beat it. The first thing. Yeah, I enjoy my meat tender with the warm pink center. I'm pretty slaying this game. The girl that has enough sex in two years. made up for it last week in South Africa. Trust me and I made up for it.

Hey, last one, you guys ready? Okay. If I had to guess, my last words will probably be, I'm like trying to think of what mine would be. Eh, not my best work, but like, eh. You can't win them all brandy. Can't win them all, I guess. We've already won, so.

If I had to guess, my last words would probably be, it's hard to work the shaft when the hole is this tight Haley That's my sister If I had to guess my last words Will probably be I've never used this entrance before

If I had to guess my last words Will probably be Don't go soft on me now Brandy She wins She'll get it Everybody give it up for Brandy. Brandy.

She's good on the ones and twos and good at that's what she said. Thank you for playing. I am good. That's what she said. You have to do a shot of wine for losing. You both have to do a shot because you lost. Hey, Nick, where is our tequila? Well, I don't know where the tequila is.

Did you bring it to your seat, Nick? You probably did. He didn't. He said, I so sad. I so sad. I so sad. They have to shoot this wine. Here, I'll think that one's bigger.

Okay. Give it up for my sister. Haley. Haley. Haley. Haley. Haley. Oh, for sure, Haley.

Oh, for sure. Did you lose? Oh, for sure. Guess what I've got over here, y'all? What? Some Q&A. You guys ready for some Q&A? Okay.

There's some hard-hitting questions, but I'm going to start easy on you, okay? I'm excited. This one came from the audience. It's for Brie. Bree? What? Yo, yeah, yeah, yeah. Bree?

What is your favorite thing about Caitlin? I'm guessing that's who asked the question. Aw. I'm going to get emotional. Okay. Kate, do you guys want me to be emotional, or do you want me to be funny? Both. Let's hold hands.

Okay. My favorite thing about. her is just how besides my husband she's the person who's always there for me in my whole life and she's actually known me longer than my husband she knows so much

about me and everything I've been through and she is just my person that's my favorite thing about her is that we call each other Dwayne the rock and Emma Stone because we're each other's rocks

yeah but she She's my best friend, but I also call her my lifer because she's my life partner in a way where, like, we didn't make it legal like Nick and I. I would, though. I love Nick in a different way, but they're both my best friends. And if I wanted a threesome, they would do it.

Yeah. Oh, should we tell them what we said earlier, backstage, or no? What? When you tapped my vagina? Nope, not that, the other thing. What? you said something about

if you could do one thing for me to make me happy for life Oh Oh do we Do we go there? I guess All of a sudden I'm like

shy about talking about poop I was like I think I'm gonna have a nervous poop And then Brie was like Do you want to do it on Bob Ross And I said I feel This is weird I said I feel like if that made me happy

You would let me do that And I said yes If it made you happy I'd let you shit on my chest Yeah. And that's our friendship. And that's the emotional one. Now, what's the funny one?

That's our friendship in a poop shell. That was okay. That was okay. What's your funny one? Well, the poop thing. Okay. There you have it. Okay, so how do I feel about Caitlin?

Was that it? I love her. Okay. Yeah, you did a good job. Okay. The next question also came from the audience. What did you guys decide for a big? BFF tattoo. Have you decided?

Oh, we, okay, we haven't decided, but... We decided we're just going to get permanent spray tans. Oh, we did go get a spray tan yesterday. Okay, shout out, because she was awesome. Great spray tan lady. Can't remember her name. Chanel. Chanel? Yeah.

Oh, is, are you here? Chanel? Oh, God. Oh. Well, I'm about to embarrass you if it's you, but... Yeah. You don't want it to be you. I was like, you know, facing behind.

behind. She never thinks anyone's going to know who she is. She's like, well, she won't know. So, Caitlin is topless with a thong on in the spraytime room. Titties out. Tits out. And as we like to call them,

Hooters. Out. And she's spraying me, and she goes, you Caitlin Birstow. And I was like, that is Corbett.

But also, that wasn't as bad as when I froze my eggs and I was getting an ultrasound. In the vagina. The wand, the wand one. And she's got the wand in me and goes, I'm fan-girling right now. I was like, that's pretty sick. I'm not even lying, that really happened. We did not decide on tattoos, but my favorite of the suggestions was ketchup and mustard, but both mustard.

Yeah. Because we like on our hot dogs, I'll be a mustard. While the live show is fun, we need to take a quick break and talk about true car. Every car comes with his share of stories, like that ding in your bumper

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Then answer a few questions like Navigation and Moonroof. You can watch as they bump up your value. If there's high mileage, you already know it's going to cost you, but now you know how much it dings your wallet so you can plan ahead. And once you're finished, you'll get a true cash offer sent in minutes, which you can take to a local certified dealer to cash out or trade in. So when you're ready to experience a better way to sell or trade in your car, check out True Car today. True Cash Offer not available in all areas. Okay, next question. This one's hard-hitting out.

It's a hard-hitting question asked from the audience. Are you ready? Yeah. Caitlin, what did you do with your ring? Oh, yeah, yeah, great question, great question. Don't-da-d-da-dun-da-dun. Um, I gave it to Tucker. No, I told him.

Oh, God, everyone went, no! He ate it, pooped it out, and I took it back, and what I really did with it was, I still have it The great thing is She insured it I insured it The great thing is that if you

So the contract is two years So if you're on the show And you break up within two years They get the ring back But guess what I was waiting for No I'm just kidding No you guys That was not her strategy

Do not spread that room No no that's a joke If it was I would have done it a year and a half earlier And he dumped me so Anyways The ring But, but, but, he dumped you, but you kept the ring. Yay!

I haven't done anything with it. I have so many ideas. What I really want to do is have some of the proceeds go to a charity. I think it should be a charity auction. Yeah. Love it. Love that. So that's that's it.

You guys could probably both answer this question. Okay. It's an emailed question from Kaylee North. Great name, Kaylee North. Oh, is she here? Great. Read a North. What was your favorite nightclub or bar to go to in Y Y YC back in the day?

Is Y Y YC like, is that Calgary? I just licked the microphone. I don't know. Y, Y, Y, C, is Calgary. Y, Y, Y, C's Calgary. Great. Cowboys. No, no, no.

We used to work. We worked at Cowboys. Cowboys in Edmonton. You guys. Oh, we can be. Is that you, Destiny? We can be excited about that. Destiny?

I said, is that you, Destiny? remember what she used to do no Cowboys no she was a server who made the most money because she would go through the dishwasher what

she would go through the dishwasher remember we would go we would go around with our shooter trays and just like try and get the most attention to get the most shots to make the most money yeah she she would go

she would lay down and go through the dish washer. Why? That's what we have to do in Edmonton for tips, you guys. Wait, I got fired from Cowboys because I passed out on my shooter tray.

She did. I fell asleep. No, no, no, this is what... You fell asleep? What you did was, you didn't get, you didn't get fired because you quite passed out on your shooter tray.

You got fired because you called in sick. Oh. Then showed up at my own bar. Our own place of work. Yeah.

Got drunk off 25 cent draft when that was legal. Yes, when it was legal. And then stole one of the other servers trays to try and make money.

Right. And then passed out on the tray. I love that you guys support me. Everybody's clapping. But you know what? Are you sad that you lost that job?

Because I think you're doing okay. You know what? I think the lesson here is don't go to college. Get a job at Cowboys. Get real drunk and just see where the world takes you. Yes, yes, yes. Take it.

I'm pretty happy. Okay, Q&A. Love it. All right. Brandy's like, oh my God. I think we've got time for one more question. I'm mortified to be your friend, honestly. Just kidding.

I'm not. Uh, nothing faces me. Do you know my sister? I need you know. Um, let me just say, I went to Miley's Fourth of July party and I will never be the same. Ever. It will never get old talking about that party ever. But I'll see you next, Fourth of July.

See you next year. Yeah. See, Americans know how to do holidays. Right. Let me just, let me just put that out there. We do. Yeah. Uh, all right.

Last question. Natasha Mueller. I don't know if she's here. Uh, what is the biggest bachelor or bachelor? secret that we would be shocked to know. Colton's virginity status? Wow. I don't know that one.

Okay, just JK. I would tell it to anything for ratings. Biggest Bachelor's secret. Give me a name in Bachelor World and I'll try and give you a secret. Wait, wait. One in a time. I heard Ben Higgins.

Tia? Hmm. He's a pretty open book. She's great. Chris Harrison? Sexy. So sexy. Chris Harrison is not the Chris Harrison you think he is.

You want to be with Chris Harrison. If you get in with Chris Harrison, you're like, damn, dog, you are dirty. Not in a sexual way in like his humor. His humor. He's sort of like Danny Tanner on Full House, where you're like, oh, you just love to be clean. but when you see a stand-up show you're like, Bob Sag it, oh my God. That is exactly Chris Harrison.

Great way to describe it. Brandy, is there any more questions? There are no more questions, but you have a golden ticket to give away. Do you know about this? First of all, I just need to ask, did you guys have fun tonight? Doug had fun. Did Paul have fun tonight? I called him Doug.

You know you're going to get haggled in the front row. You have a sign. What does it say? Come closer. Will you accept this poppy? You made that last night. Wow. Dedication.

You know what? I will accept this poppy. You pin it right here right now. You know what? I will say, I know a lot of people who have podcasts, but nobody appreciates humor and girl power and wine and everything that this podcast represents more than the vinos. Yes

I love you guys the most No I just kidding I love you guys a lot because you chose to look at the back of our heads for the whole time How's my hair There's a dude up there They got a great view of my ass though

There's a dude up there Really good? Yeah and how good is Brandy's butt? At least you got to look at that I don't know My boyfriend likes it I don't know Yeah your butt's good So I just wanted to say

thank you guys so much for coming here tonight because you are a part of something very big right now the Springberg tour is you guys mark my words it's going to turn into a goddamn cruise oh my god I like the sound of that I've never been

it's going to be a cruise and I just hope every single person knows how much like I sometimes cry at home just knowing that like I have this kind of support in my life because I support all of you without even knowing who you are individually, but just as a group, I love you guys so much.

So thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. Before we get going and do the Golden Ticket, we've got a bit of a performance for you. No, we're doing the Golden Ticket first. Nope. Oh, are there two performances? We're going to quickly bang this out. Listen. Now don't, listen, we tried to perform this for Nick and Jason the other night and they were just like having

their own bro down. Yeah, so if you guys could really just make us feel funny. Yeah, okay. Then it all started 10 years ago? No, I would say like 15 or 20. So Chris Catan, anyone, I know you guys are, oh. Or Will Ferrell?

So they can't, Chris Catan came into the restaurant that I worked at and I was like, I'm a really big Will Ferrell fan. He was like, well, fuck you, I'm Chris Catan. And I was like, okay, but you guys did the skit on SNL with air supply being the banned air supply. And we died when we just saw that Air Supply. Air Supply.

Why the hell was Air Supply the band on the final of Colton season? I'm not mad. Listen, listen. Who here, like, genuinely has heard of air supply? No, you, shush. No, that's like five. So, anyways, they did this skit on SNL

that Bree and I have done for the last 15 years. We used to perform it for everybody. We'd be like, go in the other room and then come out when we say we're ready. I feel like Nick is just shaking in his boots right and I'm being like, guys, don't do this in front of a crowd. It's like, you guys, this isn't funny. But this makes us happy. So we're going to pull. So we used to, we used to perform the skit that Chris Gatton and Will Ferrell did.

Channel your air supply. Fun of air supply. When we saw that air supply was on the bachelor, we're like, hey, what? We're like, what? We love air support. And then Jason got blackout drunk with them. He did. After the live filming of The Bachelor, Jason got blackout drunk with Air Supply.

And that's how we're like, Jason, you're our people. You would. So we're going to do a little performance for you from Air Supply. She's Will Ferrell slash Russell Hitchcock. You don't know who that is. And I am Chris Catan slash Graham Russell. Here we go. 5, 6, 7, 8.

Hello. As we told you before, if you didn't recognize us, we are Air Supply. Yeah. I'll go ahead. head and mention our massive hits again. Lost in love. A lot of love. The one that you love. Ring any bells? Come on, folks. Wouldn't kill you to clap.

Yeah. Some people got it. It doesn't take much energy and it's just good manners. All right, back in the early 80s, we never imagined we would go on to be one of the biggest acts ever on adult contemporary charts. Yeah, and we never imagine we'd be dropped off the face of the earth so quickly.

But we did. But we did. We sure did. But now we're back. In a big way. Mm-hmm. Yeah. So here's a song.

Oh, that's you. So here's a new song from our new CD entitled Holiday Love. You guys, remember when we said we'd circle back to Thanksgiving? Thanksgiving. Did you know that?

Here we go, ready? It's Thanksgiving time. It's such a great day now, turkey and bread and plenty of stuff in. It's Thanksgiving time. It's a time for jello. You watch some TV. Maybe have some great Kool-Aid. Ooh, I think I dig your stuff.

I think I dig your stuff. It's Thanksgiving time. I like your new blazer. Your sleeves are pushed up. It looks pretty awesome. Why, thank you, my friend. You're so kind to say so. Your eyes are so blue.

I think that I like them. Ooh. I think I dig your stuff. This is weird. I think I dig your stuff. We got lights going in the back. Everybody pull your cell phones It's Thanksgiving time

Let's go get a burger And maybe some fries And go take a car ride Go to a motel This is amazing Drilling a brandy Hang out in robes And see what develops

Ooh I think I did your stuff This is amazing I think I dig your stuff. Wow. Wow. Who am, Lady Gaga? What is this?

This is amazing. Okay, now everybody put your cell phones down on one, two, three. One, two, three. Cell phone's up. No, cell phone's down. Oh, someone's down? Oh, that was a boomerang. Okay.

You want to do it again? Up and down and up and down and up and down. A boomerang is good. Did you guys like our performance? Were we done? Biggest applause we ever had. Okay, ready for the boomerang? Okay, phones back up pretend we're like,

I like your new blazer, your sleeves are pushed up. It looks pretty awesome. Thank you, my friends. You're so kind to say so. Your eyes are so blue I think that I like them. Okay, guys. Now for the golden ticket, right?

Thank you. The golden, damn golden ticket. Randy's like, I don't give that shit about air supply. I'm kidding. God damn golden ticket. I'm getting yelled at. This is actually really exciting. We have a special surprise from Reebok.

Do you guys like my pants? What about my pants? You have to say that. My pants like? Also, Reebok. I don't know if you guys know this, But I'm, like, obsessed with Reebok. I post on my Instagram all the time.

Cute as shit ever. They know. Get it, girl. Get a girl. She was hired by Reebok. Just kidding. So, this is where my awesome is outfits from. Obviously, Reebok.

Even the top. This is my favorite. Feel how soft it is. Your sleeves are pushed up. It looks pretty awesome. So everyone, go ahead and open the envelope that you were given on your way in. And holler from your chair, if you're a winner. You don't have enough.

Under your chair. Yes, you do we? What? How many? The winner. Shut up. Oh. We have a lot of winners.

Oh, she's got one. Wait, are there more than one? How many are there? Wait, are they all gold? Uh, what? Golden ticket? You guys. There's one golden ticket.

Five. There's five. Okay, there's five. Five golden tickets. Wait, did we print them all gold? What happened? I got a golden ticket. Okay.

Are you Oprah and everyone get the car? Wait till they hear what they won. Our lucky winners receive a shopping spree on rebuck.ca. A month long pass to undercard boxing studio here in Calgary, which I'm going tomorrow. Here she comes. Honestly, I think you Reebok because they dress me all the time. I'm obsessed with them, and they'd hooked you guys all up. So follow them on at rebuck.ca.

No, sorry, Reebok Canada. Try again. It's rebocca. No, it's reboc.ca. At Reebok, Canada. You guys, everything I wear all the time is Reebok. It's kind of embarrassing. I don't switch it up.

Reebok. Jerry Seinfeld. Gigi Hadid Collection, Reebok. Actually, reason I'm making fun of me Because I don't wear anything else And Brandy, show your outfit Brandy, circle it around Let me just

Full on 360 So gangster So I thought there's one There's five golden tickets So that's like lucky Five lucky winners Okay You know what? All this excitement

Kind of makes me want to dance Well Thanks for listening to Off the Vine with Caitlin Brisco. Get new episodes every Tuesday exclusively on podcast.1.com, the Podcast One app, and subscribe on Apple Podcasts. Who's done with OTV? Sponsors for this week's Off the Vine are Hotel Tonight. To get started, go to hotel tonight.com or download the app now. Tommy John.

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