Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Tayshia Adams

Episode Date: February 16, 2021

Tayshia comes on the pod to discuss her season as the Bachelorette, life after the show and what she and Zac have been up to! They of course discuss the current season and recent drama in Bachelor Nation before playing a game of How Do You Proceed. PLUS a bonus segment with Lo (@stylelvr) where they react to listener's confessions! GEICO - Go to geico.com , and in fifteen minutes you could be saving 15% or more on car insurance BLUEBLOX - Get free shipping and 20% off at Blueblox.com use promo code VINE  CALDREA - Get free shipping on orders of $50 or more when you buy online at Caldrea.com  BEST FIENDS - Download Best Fiends FREE on the Apple App Store or Google Play GREEN CHEF - Go to GreenChef.com/90vine and use code 90VINE to get $90 off including free shippingSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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That's guyco.com. Who's that with OTV? Who's down with OTV? Who's out with OTV? Podcast One presents off The Vine with Caitlin Briscoe. Caitlin is creating a space where girls and gents can feel empowered to be themselves. Get ready for lots of laughs. Taboo topics.

On filtered advice and wine. Lots of wine. Get ready to shake things. up. Here's Caitlin. Welcome to Off the Vine. I'm your host, Caitlin Bristow, as if you didn't know that already. Today on the pod, I got to sit down with a long overdue interview, a nice conversation with one of our former bachelorette's Tasia. We talk about what she thinks of this season so far, what life has been like post-bachelorette, what hurdles her and Zach have had to go through from

coming off the show and future plans with her Zachary Boo. We're also, of course, getting into some confessions, a little rapid fire, and how do you proceed? My new favorite segment. Also, stay tuned because after my interview with Tasia, I'm calling one of everyone's favorite guests, Mr. Lowe von Rompf, for a new segment we're calling our lowest moments, where I read him some of my Vino's confessions, and he rates them on his confession scale. So grab yourself a little old glass of wine or whatever you're drinking and enjoy today's convo with Tasia and Lowe.

Hi. Oh my gosh. How are you? I haven't seen you in so long. My gosh. I am good. How are you? I'm good. I am, you know, just doing the usual over here hanging in there. But I'm so curious because I know, like, from from experience, jumping off the show, usually you're like bump in city to city going here, going there, doing this. Are you just doing it all via Zoom right now? Every single thing. Every single thing. Luckily, like last week when I was doing hosting, it was all in person, which was fun. But I've done. I've done. literally nothing else in person. Everything has been via Zoom. It's so it's kind of nice, but also at the same time it kind of sucks. Well, yeah, because you're missing out on, you know, going to new cities and doing fun things, but also that is exhausting. And it kind of like breaks up your time to like focus on your relationship, which I feel like through quarantine and, you know, doing everything via Zoom, you must have a lot of time to spend with your new fiance. Yes. Yes, it's been a lot of fun.

But also at the same time, it's, it's really how you get to know somebody. But you're in, are you in New York right now? I just got back. Yeah. Yeah. Are you in, in Zach's apartment right now? I am here. I am here. You guys are freaking cute. I just want to know just because, I mean, it is quarantine and you're spending so much time. And everyone, I'm sure this is, because this is the question that I always got, what it's the thing that shucked you the most about moving in or blah, blah, blah. But I just want to know what's the biggest change you guys have me, have, had, had to make since living together change i mean like for example when jason and i moved in together we really had to um coordinate our schedules and make sure we prioritize like at least having breakfast together or lunch and like i was so used to living a certain way he was so used to living a certain way that we had to come together on things that had to change for both of us interesting i feel like for me it's a little in that regard it's different for us just because i have nowhere else to kind of go like this is like my home base right here um But I think for us, it's, well, we did just come off of this bachelor journey where, you know, like, the dates are exciting or like when we did see each other for a week, we try to do as much as we can.

And now it's kind of like, we're trying to find like the routine of like, okay, the real life is like he has to go to work, you know, from 9 to 5. And I actually have a lot to do. But my step is on West Coast time. So I'm finding, like, I'm working more like 12 to 8 here. And it sucks because he's at home and he's like, okay, sorry. to hang out. I mean, I'm like, I still have to work. I still have to do things. So that's like the part that we're trying to navigate and figure out. That makes sense because, again, you're on a different time zone and he has his, you know, nine to five hours that he has to go work. So you

have to try and figure out a way to make. So it's so interesting trying to navigate a relationship after that show. I've been having this conversation. I did a Instagram live and Nick jumped on because we were talking about how the hurdles that couples have to go over from coming off the show and for myself personally, it was trying to, um, defend my other relationships while still respecting them, but also having him know that like, he was clearly the one, but he was always like, well, if I was, why this? And you kind of have to be like, well, that's what you signed up for, but by being, you know, right, right, right, right. What is, what is like a hurdle you guys have had to come over from the show or what? Because I know everybody says, like, everybody doesn't

want to say that's the hardest part, but like, I can't see any other way. that that wouldn't be the hardest part, but someone said you were saying that maybe just moving and living in a different city. But what would you say for you guys has been a hurdle? A hurdle. Well, well, for him, especially, I don't think he realized exactly what was going on while this all was airing. So, you know, and then for him to like watch it back and to have me say, like, I think I'm falling in love with somebody else in front of him. As he knows that I'm like, while he knows it, I'm still so in love with him. Like, it was just, And he never, ever asked questions.

So he never got to hear me say, like, yeah, like, this is how I was feeling about this person and this person. Because he didn't really care. Yeah. But then when you're watching it, you're just like, hold on a second. Yeah. So when did you really actually like me or did you really want to be with me? And it's like, I was like the fallback plan. I was like, no.

It's so hard for somebody. And I would feel the same way to process that you're the one, but they still have to explore these other relationships because that's the, you know, the show's format. That's, you can't get away. Well, I mean, Claire kind of got away with not doing that. But that's just how it goes. And it's so hard to not be defensive because you're like, yeah, I did have those relationships and have compassion for how he's feeling. But you're like, well, what was I supposed to do?

Exactly. And like you can't get mad. I don't know. It's very hard. It's very hard. Yeah. I think every single couple that can come off this show can agree that that is the hardest part.

And it would be for any human being, no matter how secure you are as a human being. because it's something you would never do in real life. And it's never do in real life. Yeah. As well as like you're this is, I think this is a tough one for me. It's like also his family watch that. You know what I mean? And sometimes they can have doubts like, well, did you really want to be with them or were you still into this guy? You know, and like it's not just him you're dealing with here. Like you're, it's not common for your in-laws to be watching you date make out with other people while you're still dating their son, you know. So it means not like we've had issues or anything like that. but it's things that like I think about and like I know my parents have brought up so um that stuff is

it's just really hard to navigate as well as navigating a brand new relationship where you don't have years of like trust and and all that under your belt so it's a lot and then hard I feel for you and it is hard for if anyone really they can never fully put themselves in your shoes but if you can really think about it that way you can imagine how hard that would be um same thing like involving families and how the heck would anyone look at that and understand and, you know, they don't know what's going on behind the scenes or how the show works sometimes. So they're like, why would you do that? Yeah.

It's definitely a struggle. But, I mean, it's one of those things that I think will take some time because, and I say this on so many podcasts that the foundation that you start on on that show is, is nothing. Like, there's no trust built. It's not just you and them. It's you trying to figure out who's best for you. and then watching all these relationships back. That's a terrible foundation to start off on a foundation.

It's everything in a relationship. So it's just one of those things that if you clearly want to get through and you will, and then you can, you know, in, I don't know, a year from now, you'll probably be like, oh, remember when that used to be a big thing and it's not anymore. Once other seasons there and all that, it does go away for some. Well, that's good to know. Yes, yes, it is hard, though. And obviously, the relationship is still pretty new.

but um even though you felt confident getting engaged at the end of your season was there anything you were worried about once the cameras were off that you guys were getting settled into your real lives because you don't really have that opportunity to fully know i mean that was one thing that i definitely told i'm like look hey look i feel like i know you the thing is like you really know me because like yeah the producer on the show know me you can all you can go to them and ask them anything about me and it could probably give you context because i've known them for a couple of years at this point you can tell me you live here and there and your best friend is this and that and i could go to new york and it's not even real like i don't know who

you are so that was something that was really frightening to me at first because like i didn't even get the opportunity to do a hometown to where that's like we can really look inside their lives and like see you can see yourself fitting into that so that was definitely something that i was itching to get out here to do because i had a way that's the only way to do it's the only way to do it You got to throw yourself into it and live it. Yeah, you just have to do it to know what it's like. And it's so, you have to work out kinks in any relationship when you move in together, let alone if you just came off a show where you're like, wait, how many hours have we spent together? Now we're engaged. Now we're living together. Like, it's very overwhelming. And I hope they, I don't know if they do, but I think the show should always give couples counseling after. And I'm not sure if they do that because I know that a few people have reached out with, you know, mental health concerns. And they have got them a therapist, which I love. for the show um but they should always it should be like mandatory for just like do i mean i think it would definitely help it never hurts yeah you know no hey i went to my therapist yesterday angela man i i sat there the whole time and i'm like because i now i go for little tune-ups

i'm like i feel like i'm in a place i just still like to go every few months but still in an hour and a half i was like holy how many things that they can make you realize and and even something I'm like, well, this is how I'm feeling. And this is why she goes, let's get deeper. I'm like, oh, okay. And then we do it. I'm like, well, shit, you're right. You can't run and hide from your therapist.

I have one as well. And honestly, I love her so much. And I've had it for a long time now. Yeah. But it's definitely something I'm glad I utilized, especially coming off of the show. It's just so much to unpack that you kind of just like don't even want to talk about. But then they pull it out of you. It's better.

Yeah. There's like therapy in itself on the show from talking through feelings. but then you've got to go to like the next level once you're in a committed relationship, especially being engaged, thinking about marriage. I'm not going to ask you if you have a date set because that was my least favorite question of all of them. So skipping past that, obviously. Great.

Bachelor franchise is still a very big part of your life, especially since you're the co-host of ClickBase, ClickBase, ClickBate podcast with grocery store Joe and Natasha Parker. Is it Natasha or Natasha? Natasha. Oh, Natasha. I always do that with Tanya's, Tanya, Natasha. I have never heard of anyone doing that in my life. What?

Never in my life. That's so funny. This must be a Canadian. This must be a Canadian thing. It has to be because I've never in my life have heard that before. That's cute. Okay. Canadian things.

Definitely a Canadian thing. Then I start, because now I have a friend that's named Tanya and all my friends call her Tanya. And I'm like, no, no, it's Tanya. And they're like, are you sure? But it really is. Tanya. I don't even think I've ever met a person named Tanya before.

Well, look at that. I'm not lying to you. But how are you? enjoying the podcast world have you been are you guys talking about the season of the bachelor because i know you talk about like pop culture in general but i'm sure you touch on the bachelor i mean come on we we definitely talk about bachelor nation but it's more of like the breaking news of it all for like that week like the latest and greatest because you know there's always a lot going on between us um us bachelor nation people um so we definitely have like a little segment for that um and then

we talk about click base slash pop culture and then we always have a guest so that's a fun. Do you enjoy doing that? I love podcasting. I think it's, I will say, though, it's definitely an adjustment speaking into it and then just knowing that, I don't know, some people might take your words and fly with it. That's something that like, even when I'm, like, you're a friend of mine and I never want to put you in an uncomfortable position. And I'm like, you never know what people pick up. And it's so, I find that so hard because especially in the time we're living in, people are going to make mistakes they're going to take things away that you might have meant something else or your intention was right right delivery was wrong and it's so scary to have

platforms these days it's such a important responsibility so really is it really is what you say is you know it will people will never forget you know and you have you want to say things that matter you want to say things that matter and you want to say it the right way you know yeah but also the same time it's so fun to have like an outlet to be able to like just talk with your friends I don't know. It's nice. I love girl chats and I love things that like feeling like you're with your best friends and being able to listen in on that sometimes. I feel like there's so many podcasts that I love out there that I'm starting to get used to and just being like we need to have our thing feel like more like we're in the living room and just talking. Yes. Like amongst friends. Yeah. That's why like more

of a conversation over like this question. This question. Exactly. Exactly. Yeah. I always that's what I love about podcasting is just having a nice conversation with someone. I mean, obviously I have to ask the questions that people want to know. But you've been doing it for so long now. So long. I'm like going on four years. So exciting. It's insane though. It's wild. It's wild. And it's so much fun. And I fall more in love with it. Like it doesn't get old to me. Every year I find like something new to love about it or I get more comfortable with it. And I love hearing people's feedback. And it's just like I get to have so many great conversations with so many different people. And it's, I feel like really lucky for it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's amazing. All right. We're going.

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with a dose of lux and a touch of good clean fun. I really do think cleaning is fun now, and I'm not afraid to admit it. So get 20% off with code OTV-20. When you buy online at caldrea.com, that's C-A-R-E-A.com. Discover your scent now. Off the Vine with Caitlin Bristow. I wanted to ask, because I heard you say recently after Dylan spoke out on Twitter about manipulation and editing, that you really didn't feel that on your season at all.

Do you think a lot of the girls from this season will play the end? editing card after all the bullying is surfaced. You know, um, to be honest with you, I hope not. Yeah. I really just hope because that they just own their words. Same time, like this, it could be dead and done, just acknowledging your mistake. Yeah. I used to go back and forth and teeter totter on the cancel culture thing.

Mm-hmm. But now I'm just like, I was watching Taylor Nolan's live with the, do you know, the black trilloretts? Oh, wait, I just heard about this. Kate, I love her. Grab a coffee and discover non-stop action with BudMGM Casino. Check out our hottest exclusive. Friends of one with Multi-Drop.

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But MGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with Eye Gaming Ontario. He explains things so clearly. She's so knowledgeable. She's so incredible. And I was watching her live with Taylor Nolan, of course, about the Chris Harrison things that are going on right now. And they were saying, like, we don't want to cancel him. We don't want to go fire him.

He's done. It's accountability. It's holding somebody accountable, which all a Bachelor Nation did, I think. And he came out with his apology. But I think that whole thing, the cancel culture, it's like, well, that's not how you learn and grow. I think you learn and grow by holding people accountable and having them realize because I'm not going to lie, Chris Harrison is a dear friend. And when I watch that interview, I just went, no,

oh, oh, no. Because he's the most well-trained man in media. And I like to think of him as a good person. But hearing him dismiss and gaslight and speak this way and feel like he was like defending it and he's being contradicting, I was really disappointed. And then I watched Taylor and the Black Chilorette really break down the video. And I realized, well, I learned a lot from it, but I also realized even more so just how wrong it was. And I mean, I know you're part of the franchise and it's a whole thing. But what did you think while watching that interview? First of all, I'm going to have to go take a look at the Black, how do you pronounce that? Black Chlorrette. Black Chlorrette. Yes. Everyone listening. Go follow on. I'll have to go

look at that because I love getting everybody's, you know, perspective on everything. um it's just again how you said it's just another way to learn and just to become just become more educated um but i to be honest i was sad by the news i know that we've seen just and heard a lot of about a lot of disturbing images that have come to play yeah um and i have a lot to share about how i feel about it but i feel like with that situation i kind of want to get more contacts and i really want to hear what rachel has to say me too me too i feel like we're trying to come up with the words for her right and i think that once we hear what she has to say i agree with you i'm i think it's really important to hear what rachel has to say i'm sure she's digesting a lot and like

rachel doesn't hold back so um or do you mean rachel k rachel k rachel k oh yes okay so i that's another thing with like i don't think people should be sending her death threats i don't think i think people should be like wow speak up hold yourself accountable say what you're thinking say it was wrong don't stay silent we want to hear from her and we want to hear from her two days ago you know what i mean like yeah i hate when people um people can be so mean um and you're right with the whole death threat thing or i mean i've gotten some of the nastiest messages way back when i was on um bachelor yeah and i could not believe the things that some people would tell me because i had an opinion and and it was not not anything anything bad i didn't say anything wrong

I just said something that they didn't agree with. And I don't think people understand just because you're behind a computer doesn't mean that like people are just going to be like, oh, it's not that big of a deal. Like, no, like those words sit with people. And mental health is a real thing and you're playing into that. Yeah, that's so fair. And yeah, I don't want, I hope Rachel just isn't afraid to like de-platform herself or like right now this, this is bigger than that.

So I hope she speaks up. but I agree overall just just like you said sad I was sad about it um and unfortunately when this episode comes out we'll have seen the next episode of Matt's season so your predictions won't be too accurate but I want to know your thoughts on who Matt's final girls will be um I still really love Brie I do too Bree and Michelle Michelle is great I think Michelle's great and they had like chemistry right off the bat so I just don't I don't know know i don't know if i don't know if he feels it anymore i don't really know he's so hard to tell and then piper i really like piper oh i did too yeah piper sweet i don't know it's so hard because he feels

it feels like he's just kind of on the same level where like watching you and zach i was like oh i feel like he's the one where you watch yeah oh yeah i did so funny i like played it out differently on like instagram just to get people's opinions but the whole time i felt there's just something between you two that I was like I feel like this is real that's what I felt I love that I love that but I feel like with Matt you're watching you're like well you got a pretty good connection with those I think he's just so nice you know and he doesn't want to hurt him his feelings at the same time it's just like Matt this is your time yeah get in there yeah get in there do the do the dirty shit yeah yeah get down to the nitty-gritty baby yeah exactly what advice do you think you would give

to the next bachelorette hmm I feel like it would be just like This is like your time to really figure out, you know, if you're ready to break the mold of what you're like you're used to dating or like if you're ready to find like your person. Because I feel like with that, if you allow yourself to lean into it. There's so many people to choose from. I mean, I feel like it's, this is not very common experience, you know, but if you try to like push back like the things that you are fearful of like with me, like I was scared to date an older man. I realized he had all the qualities that I wanted. But I was no, I didn't know if I was ready for that. or if I still want to just have fun.

So it's just like going for what you truly want in your future and in a spouse and your children's like father, like things like that. So just pushing the limits and just trying to bring the norm. Yeah, and like leaning into that instead of being afraid of it because this is your one opportunity to really be kind of selfish and picking that person for you. You know what I mean? 100%. As much as that sucks for the other person, that's kind of what you're doing by coming on as a contestant.

You know this person on the other end is. doing this for them to find their person. That's the whole point of the Bachelorette. So you kind of have to, as a contestant, lean in, but also more so as a lead to not be afraid of your past demons and shadows and address them and look past them and don't go for the usual thing that hasn't been working in the past. Right, right. And that was something I've got to struggle with.

Lean into it. Really just allow yourself to. I like that. And on every podcast, I have to ask for my guest to confess something to me. I have to know something you want to get off your chest that the binos can listen to and say, we're here for you, Tasia. Oh, God. Well, you know, I don't know if this is that crazy, but this just happened this morning.

I was getting ready and I don't know why. This is not even that bad, but Call Me Maybe was on. And I have not heard that song in so long. And I went out, I was in my bedroom. I had a sweatshirt on, had my underwear on. And I came out to the living room and I forgot that there is scouts. scaffolding right now because they are replacing all the windows. Yeah.

And I have four men outside my window right now. In fact, like, you can see them right now. And I came out here with my, they know what underwear I'm wearing today. And Zachary's probably going to tell me because you definitely told me not to be careful with that.

And I just came out here dancing and I turn around and they are right there. And yeah, but whatever, whatever. I mean, construction people see some shit, you know, like window washers,

construction workers, like they are in people's windows. all the time i i should have one of them on my podcast to hear their stories they can get some good stuff from you you know what that could be a fun little like segment like stories from window washers or that instruction then you know what what are you a podcaster or something that's a great idea you know you said you said zachary is that what you call them or do you guys have weird nicknames no i call him zachary i like it that's cute does he what does he call you um He calls me queen or he calls me love.

Jason calls me a queen too. I love it. Really? I love it so much. Well, he's the one that made up the whole like the little thing called Clarkie and the queen. Like, because I like to call him Clarkie and he likes to call me the queen.

So it's just it's a little thing. Yeah. It's perfect. Okay, rapid fire and then a quick game and I'll let you go. Just really quickly. Your favorite moment on your season to watch back. Ooh, I will have to say night one when I walked into the brand. Really?

that was so fun that was such a fun time you were i don't know i know i've said this over text but i haven't like said it to you face to face you were incredible you were you walked in with like the right amount of confidence but the right amount of grace and humility and your presence and your energy everything about you coming in in that difficult situation it didn't even make me think you were coming into a new situation i was like oh she's supposed to be here like you did you really I thought you were really, really great. And I loved your little British accent that came out over. I don't know where it comes from, honestly.

I'm sorry. Okay, one question you asked in the fantasy suite when the cameras were off. What was your main important question? Ooh, there was a couple. But there was one thing I did ask. It was about money, actually. Yeah. Because that's important in a relationship,

but it's more so about, like, gift giving. Like, do you expect something in return? or are you doing it at a kind of of your heart because I have had that held against me in the past and like that's something that like has made me, I don't know, kind of like move apart in a relationship and has gone between us. So that was something I want to know. Money is like the number one cause for divorce or arguments or certain thing like especially, I mean, if you're going to get engaged and get married and you take that seriously, that is an important conversation to have. I see that all the time. Yeah. Thoughts on a rumored Kelly and Peter reunion. Oh, oh, to be

honest with you i thought they should have been together since the very beginning i don't understand i thought they were like hot and heavy and really cute and then all of a sudden it wasn't there anymore yeah i would love for them to get back together because they would be in new york i think so we can have dinner i don't know yeah that would be really nice i think interesting go on a double date with is um charlene and her husband andy oh my gosh that's right they're incredible incredible people great conversation they're just so down to earth and kind and funny and they're really lovely yeah i'll have to reach out to her i have to yeah absolutely okay now this is my quick game okay um okay so it's called how do you proceed and it's a

segment i do where i put you in uncomfortable situations and ask how you would proceed okay all right you and zach are entering a beautiful outdoor dining scenario for a new york city date night when you're stopped by an eager fan she says she's such a fan of both of you but would really you to take a picture of her doing the run and jump into Zach's arms. How do you proceed? I would honestly be like, babe, go stand over there. She needs to do something with you really quickly. I would totally set that up. He's like teacher. He'd be like, okay, now you've got to jump at the right angle. Exactly. Okay, good. I like that. I would help out. To do that to Jason, I'd be like, God, it would be funny content for Instagram, but maybe not. Maybe you can get on my man

at the same time. I just want, I just, I think it's fun putting Zach in like awkward situations. and he would be like, wait, what? But he would also go with it. I clearly, too, like putting people in awkward situations. Okay, even with the global pandemic going on, things are actually going really well with you and Zach. Moving in together, you couldn't be happier. However, a week into your new living situation,

you wake up to find Zach's sleepwalking. He's wearing clothes from your closet and doing moves that resemble TikTok dances. How do you proceed? Oh, I don't know how I would feel. Um, you would obviously have to start a TikTok page of him doing that and it would blow up 100% or like I would, I think I would like pretend like I didn't actually see it and then like set up a camera, you know, to like try to get him the next time. And then yeah, I don't know. Sleepwalkers kind of scare me. I don't know. I don't know. I scared me too. Oh, I forgot to ask this right at the beginning. Huh. Um, nemocholin compared to Lakinta, whatever. I look. I don't want to talk about it. Okay. Yeah. I don't want to talk about it. Okay. Yeah. The budget, the, but it's just so funny because, like, people are the ones that just keeps, like, sending me messages, like, this is Tasia's, um, what's it called hometown compared to, like, what Mads is or like the carnival situation. I was like, okay, guys, I get it.

Mine was, you know, a bootleg version, but like, I was like, they really, they really, yeah, exactly. I mean, you could find love in a shoebox with the right person, but when you have to compare and you're like, wow, they really save their budget for Nemico. Really? Um, really. Okay, last one, um, Chris Harrison calls you and says that since you have one of the most successful relationships of all bachelorette's past, he wants to make you his co-host. You get all the perks of being his right-hand woman. The only stipulation is that you two must always share a room slash suite to do budgeting concerns.

How do you present? Uh, do I get the bad? Where does the brain go? Like, why are I? I don't know. Yes, you get the best. okay he gets the couch okay that's fine okay people have like a really fun like why night you know like every night we talk about the budget so like i'm totally funny with that i love chris you'd get

some answers there you go yeah um okay that was my game i just appreciate i know you're so busy and i appreciate you taking time and and making me put you in uncomfortable situation so of course anytime is there anything else you wanted to say or talk about before i let you go i'm trying to think no i just want to say thank you this is this is a good time we haven't been able to do this yet so this was fun i know i know well i get it when you come off that show you literally don't have like a minute to breathe so you i mean to be honest with you it would have been really really nice to even be able to like call on you or you know rachel or dojo before i had the experience um yeah because i feel like i really could have

gotten i don't know just spend advice from girls that would have been in my has been in my position but yeah it's i appreciate the support afterwards andy said it's better to have the conversation after than it is before because i said the same thing to andy i was like why didn't you call me and like tell me or warn me or like prepare me and she's like i can't nobody can prepare you for that and it's like going to be completely different for every person and it's more it's it's better to have the support on the other end because we've all been there and that's the hard part so you're for you whenever and um even if you want to just have a zoom double date wine night i'm down tell zachary i say hello i love that

You two just keep fighting the good fight because you're cute together. Oh, thank you. I'll say hi, Jason Fermi. I will for sure. And you guys have a good one. We'll chat soon. We'll definitely do a double day. I'll let you know.

Yeah, that sounds great. Okay. Thanks, girl. Bye. See you later. I think you guys are all aware that your girl likes to eat. Okay. Sometimes I don't enjoy cooking.

Sometimes I do. But I think the reason is that by the time I'm hungry, the last thing I want to do is plan out an entire recipe and head to the grocery store. Nobody really has time for that anymore. I just want someone to decide for me. I also have been trying to eat really well lately, and that's not always easy either. So our next sponsor has really been helping me up my cooking game and eat delicious food while I am at it. And it's Green Chef.

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him lucky guy they really do have something for everyone though whether you're keto or paleo or just trying to eat good you know what i also love is having less waste since i know i'm using the exact ingredients the recipe calls for you guys can try it with me go to greenchef dot com slash 90 vine and use code 90 vine to get 90 dollars off including free shipping that is a really solid deal people that's green chef.com slash 90 vine and use code 90 vine to get 90 dollars off including free shipping green chef the number one meal kit for eating well now back to off the vine with kately bristow hi oh my god wait oh my god I could do like these backgrounds what oh my god fun can i try yeah oh sorry i was just having some i'm like oh i'm in san francisco

now now i'm in space oh my god is this your first time on zoom no it's not it's my first time knowing that you can do any of this stuff though i friggin love you and people are going to be so excited for this because a segment with low is just what everybody needs these days every time you're on the podcast, you have an incredible confession. We all know that. You also have your own podcast and your listeners, those of the pod, actually called themselves the low lifers. What? Oh, yeah. And that was not even from me, low lifers. So special. Yeah. Low lifers. Can I, am I just like automatically a low lifer or do like what? How do I get in the club? I mean, you're the original OG low lifer because I wouldn't even have a microphone. I wouldn't even be alive today if you

hadn't taken a chance. And so, yeah, I owe a lot to you. And I'm like, you're the one to give me encouragement to do a podcast, Caitlin. I've talked, I mean, you're, you're meant to be on a microphone for the world to hear. That is, yes, low, it would be a shame, a freaking shame if the world didn't get to hear you on a microphone. Well, thank you for saying that. I'm actually enjoying doing it. I love, I love being on. It's really fun. And, oh, and we're changing the name. So the show was called the low show, what still is. But because of the nickname, the low lifers, which actually one of the vinos slid into my DMs and was like, hey, what about low lifers? That would be cool.

Like we should get a name or something like that. I was like, cool. Yeah. So she was like vinos on low lifers. So it's kind of like a thing for listeners. But we're changing the name of the show to the low life show. Yes. I think that's so perfect.

Yeah, it's perfect. I really like that. I'm sold on that name. I'm mad I didn't come up with it. It's like it. I just still get full credit. Yes. Okay, so here's the deal.

I ask my Vino's to submit their lowest moments. I don't have to explain the joke I was going to. I don't have to. Hopefully people are down to share their own confessions, and this can be a regular segment on the pod. And I'm going to read you some of my Vino's submitted confessions, a.k.a. lowest moments for you to rate them. Okay, before we get into listeners' confessions,

wanted to ask first in case there's anything you needed to get. off your chest. Yeah, Caitlin. Well, there sure is. There sure is. I always feel like that's kind of been a thing. That's why you're giving me a little segment with you because I've had some confessions. And now I'm just, I'm kind of like, have you seen the movie, The Joker? And he kind of goes down the dark path. And I'm kind of like, all right. So I'm like, you know, shit on the floor. And now I'm like, freaking maybe I'll try to kill someone or do something, you know, a little attempted manslaughter, perhaps. To go to jail, all due to my

confession segment on the pod. To get a good segment. I've always been trying to up the ante. And for the last one, okay, well, this isn't a new confession. You're very aware of it already, and your listeners are too. But you remember my confession about

peeing on my uncle's grave in my mother's memory garden? Okay, so I guess I could take it from there, right? Because people know that story if they listen to the pot, right? Well, let's give a little quick recap. Cliff notes was that you kept taking Duky, your dog out to pee, and he would only pee in this one area. And your mom was like, please never in the garden. It's a sacred place that you didn't know exactly what it was. And then you tried to help Duky out because you're like, if I pee, he'll pee on my pee. So I'm going to be a good father to the dog. And you peed. And then Duky peed. And then you realized it was your uncle's ashes buried under this garden. So essentially, you pissed on your uncle. yeah in a in a nutshell so so yeah i uh i was taking my little piece on my uncle's angel and in my family was so upset i finally told my mom and she's like i can't believe what kind of a sick bastard

does something like that she's like the fact that there's an angel with wings and the name like that didn't give it away for you and i was like i don't know i mean there's a lot of angels whatever i thought with a gift or something. So my dad's like, oh, it's really, it's pretty gross. And, yeah, you shouldn't do stuff like that. I'm ashamed. So we left it at that. I was like, I'm sorry.

I'll never do it again. Although, I mean, Duky needs to learn. So it does help him. Right. Anyway. Yeah. About two weeks go by. And I went back to stay with my parents.

And my dad took Little Duky out to go pee in the morning. I guess he was having some trouble going pee. Not my father. He's fine. But Little Duky do. He was having trouble peeped. So my dad, not thinking anyone was around, decided to piss on my uncle, too. Not necessarily on the angel, but in the, so it's a little garden, like a little moat-type garden.

Angels, there's cute little bonsai trees and stuff. He pissed on the bonsai tree. Didn't realize that that's where Selena was buried, my guinea pig. Stop it. Pissing on Selena. First of all, you would have a goddamn guinea pig named Selena. Selina Kintini, yeah, bitty, bitty, bomb. And so this sicko of this man I have to call my father, he did it.

But the best part about it, the best part about it is my mom, who doesn't really go outside that early in the morning anyway, just happened to be outside, like, cutting little tomatoes from her garden. And my dad didn't know she was on the side of the, in the backyard. so she looked and realized my dad was taking a whiz in the garden and she lost and she's like what are you doing are you pissing on our memory garden and she got so set and my dad like got all like oh shit and like kind of peed on himself a little bit anyway the apple doesn't fall apart yeah that's so true it's so funny boys can just pee anywhere like if i was caught squatting in a garden people would be like uh like something is definitely not not right up there but if guys do they're like as just a guy being in

the woods i mean yeah well and you could just give it a little shake out and you're pretty much good to go but um but for for the ladies if i guess if you have to squat you need to have like toilet paper like it's more of a situation that you can't just drop it anywhere yeah well i mean i have but that's because i used to go camping all the time and if i need to do what i need to do i do it I love that. Isn't there a device that, like, so it makes it easier to pee outside for the ladies? Isn't there something like kind of like a netty cup, if you will, or netty pot? Peat pot.

No? What do you mean? Like, like, to standover? Like a funnel. I'll chime in here. It's a funnel. It is a funnel. And you pee into it.

You're outside and you pee into this little funnel. And then it funnels it out in the line. My roommate has thought about getting the wine. Funnel. Yes. Producer for the win. Oh, my God. I'm Googling it right now.

Yeah. Just, that's, oh, my God. Caitlin, sponsorship opportunity. What is the funnel you pee in called? FUDs? A good old fuds. FUDs are funnels that let women pee standing up. Stop it right now.

Many women have turned to a lesser known option, the female urination device, also known as a pee funnel. Though they are available in something of shapes and sizes, these devices share a standard feature. They allow women to pee while standing at. Holy shit. Amazing. Game changer.

Yeah. Wow. Okay. I always have such a good takeaway from our podcast. I will now know that I too. I too can piss on your uncle. I'm going to, yes, you can, queen. I'm going to order you one of those little funnel things just so you could like try it out part of your,

because we're going to still celebrate Christmas together. Yeah, and then when you come over, we'll celebrate and I'll pee in the funnel. Yeah, perfect. Okay, great. I'm so glad. I'm so glad we got there. Thank you, everybody involved. That was amazing.

Okay, so most of the Bino confessions are nice and quick because I had people submit them through the Instagram question box. But, you know, they get straight to the point. And most of them are about pooping and peeing because that's on brand for me. Yeah. Okay. So this girl said, I pissed myself. in a spray tan machine and had streaks going down my legs. On a scale of one to 10, 10 being the lowest of lowest of lows,

one being like, that's not so bad. Let's say like 10 is like, okay, let's go like 10 like nipple, Janet Jackson, Nipple, Super Bowl, like national platform, humiliation, shame on Justin Timberlake though. Shame on him. Yeah. I said it. Okay, I just want to establish on this podcast. He's a rotten man.

He's rotten. No, I mean, you're not right. No, I agree. He's not my favorite. I watched the Brittany documentary, and I was like, damn you, Justin. Game. I was like, uh, cry at me a river, Justin. That was a stupid joke, but you can.

It's home. It's true. Uh, okay, so she pissed herself in a, ooh, I mean, we've all kind of been there. I'm going to go with, that's probably like a five. That's like, that's a five, like, Lindsay Lohan with the cocaine on her feet, like leaving the lay due back in 2007, you know, like, like it happened yeah people will forgive and get and get over it yeah i agree five's a really great number for that one okay next one i was in thailand and i couldn't find a toilet so i pooped

in a 7-11 grocery bag i mean i have follow-ups like where did you leave it where did the bag go from there was it solid was it like you just ate Thai food and it's okay oh oh oh i mean i like the innovation of just grabbing the bag and go but also yeah where are you doing this i need i need more details but on that one i'm going to go we've all shit in a bag i'm going to give that one the two yeah yeah you know what we all have shit in a bag somebody i'm not going to name names on dancing with stars told me that they shit in their kids backpack because they couldn't pull over in time and well they pulled over but because of covid at the time the bathrooms weren't open in a gas station and she took a poop in her son's backpack and then threw it out of the

Wow. Oh, my gosh. Sky Jackson, very on brand. She's like 16. Definitely no kids. Okay, next one. I was apparently so horny. I used to, oh, I used my gay roommates dildo once. Oh, iconic. Wow. Bold. I mean, let's hope you boiled at first. But I don't think she did. That is foul. That is, you're going to. going to get a 10 for that. That is a Janet Super Bowl. Holy crap. That is a low moment. That's a low, that's a low blow. That's a low blow. And you know what? It's good that we don't have names because then it's like she can still keep it as our little secret from the three of us

and the bynose, but nobody knows who it is. I know. I kind of wish you're like Christine in Virginia or whatever, you know, but no, anonymous. No names need to do it. Wow, that's like, wow, she must have really needed to, you know, scratch that itch. Yeah. Yeah. Next time, fingers work. Okay, next one, I wore pants to work with a huge hole in the ass all day. That's pretty embarrassing at a workplace.

Like, depends where you work. I would like to know. Do you work at a dildo for gay men factory? Because then kind of makes sense. Tuesday or is it a nursing home or it could be a preschool that could be a little much for the children that would be a 10 so that would be a 10 yeah so I'm going to go with I'm that's like a two that's you know it's okay dipping your toes in the confessional waters well we've got a Simon Cowell over here okay we can judge we can judge Judy over here

okay next one um in high school I shit myself from laughing, and I didn't know. I came home with a poop stain. We've all done that. All of us. Everyone listening. She didn't know, though. Actually, you know what?

That just reminded me of a low moment for me today. Oh, my God. Are you currently sitting in your own shit? Yeah. No, I'm just here. Our bathroom downstairs, our main bathroom is getting like a little facelift, if you will. And so I went upstairs to use Jason's bathroom. and of course it's a boy it's jason there's no freaking toilet paper i went number two and then i look

over and i see poopery wipes and i'm like surely and i used it they were like alcohol wipes for disinfect infect infect infectant for your hands and my bum hole is still oh oh my yeah i know that i've done the same not with the poopery wipes but um i used um face wipes but they were like hyloronic acid or something and i was like oh like it was burning burning the taint Yeah. Yeah. That happened. Okay. So, okay. So, so two again? 2.5. 2.5. Actually, you know what if we're not knowing, we're going to give her a solid three for that, because that's pretty gross. She probably smelled. And she left a trail, a snail trail of poop, probably wherever she's leaving a little skid marks, wherever she went. If she wasn't aware, she probably stopped other places. Like a car. Sicko. Like a Uber?

Oh, sick. This one actually makes me giggle because this is something that would happen to me. And I just, you've got to paint the picture, okay? You've got to see it happening in your head. And it's very simple. It just said, I fell down the bleachers during the national anthem at a high school basketball game. I just picture this sweet one. I was like, girl, just tripping and just tumbling down the bleachers.

I'm high school. You're so like, you're so vulnerable. Oh, my heart for that one, a nine for humiliation. And it depends on the year. If you're like a freshman, that's like you're the girl who fell and everyone knows you're like, you know, clumsy Christy or whatever, you know. Clomsy Christy, Josie Grosy. Josie Grosy.

Oh, that sucks. Okay. Next one, I'm still newly dating my boyfriend and I felt like I had to toot all date, but I haven't done that in front of him yet when we finally went to bed he came over and was spooning me as we fell asleep i waited until i heard a slight snore and let out about seven toots all over his naked egg plant emoji that's disgusting first of all you sick twisted queen who sent that like i like show yourself show yourself you little fart demon I love how they're newly dating, spooning naked, but no toots allowed.

To me, though, like personally, based on a lifestyle, that is a 10. That's often, that's an 11 for like, oh, my God. You're just, yeah, you're just freaking, you might as well take a poop on him. You might as well, we can do a little chili dog, you stick, which is a thing. by the way. Just watch a documentary. It's the thing. People are, oh, oh, I know. I can't get it with me. I've been at Chilly Dog store. They don't call me Caitlin Chitty Dog Bristow for. I learned what it was and I was like, oh, oh my God. Not a, can't do it. So many people are, so many people are Googling it right now. Tell me, though, if you toot seven times, you have to have a lot of confidence that those are going to be silent. I mean, not deadly. Yeah. And I mean, by the sixth one, I'd be like, oh, there's some moisture. You know, like, you got to really watch it.

So, bold move and pretty freaking gross. Thank you for your candor. Condensation on his eggplant. Oh. Okay. This is the last one and possibly the worst one. These are really good. Wow. People came through. I know. yeah I do they would um okay I forgot to take out my tampon one time at work and I was so scared I was going to get toxic shock syndrome that I panic took it out in the hour long car ride home didn't have anywhere to put it flung it out the window on the highway I do not condone littering but I had no choice is it's like do tampon's like break down on the side of the road the way a banana peel does yeah they sure do I mean the thing is it's so it's like it's like if they got caught If someone saw them do it, it's like so much worse. But if you did it and didn't get caught and you're telling us, you're like, wow, that's a great confession. So it's like hard to rate it on a Jackson state.

You little litter bug, but there is probably someone who's doing some probationary hours having to pick up trash on the side of a highway. And they might deserve that. And they might, okay, wow. We know how she feels about punishment. Okay. Judge Judy, Art two. My goodness. Oh, come on.

If they stole a t-shirt from the gap, I hope they don't find a tampon. But if they're like probably wanted to murder, then I hope they get it. Then you get that tampon. Fair enough. And, yeah. And guess what? Guess what? That's how you play the lowest moment.

Oh, yeah. All right. There it is. So we could give out an award to the worst one. Is it the tampon one? Oh, no. I'm getting, well, lowest moment for this podcast. I'm definitely going to go with little condensation farts on the eggplant for 300.

Okay. Yeah, pretty foul. So, sorry, that's gross. And what about using your gay roommate's dildo ones? Oh, yeah. Okay, that one, too. It's a tie. It's a tie.

It's a tie. And did you tell him, too? Like, wow, like having that conversation. I would let you use mine, though. You would? I would. Yeah, as long as we put it in the dishwasher. Yeah, yeah, of course.

Of course. We're friends. Yeah, I actually got you one. It's that crazy. I know. It's part of your Christmas gift. It's called the Gemini. It's really cool.

But I was like... Oh, I can't wait. I know. I'm not kidding. I actually ordered it. And it has like a remote so like Jason could be in another state and can help you. It was like for, it was like a thoughtful gift. I'm probably going to be like, I'm pretty tired, actually.

Yeah. I'll put this one out. You need the remote home. I'm sorry. That's amazing. You're amazing. I wish this was like actually an hour podcast every time. Oh, I would love to come back and have an episode together. Oh, and I want to have you back on mine too. Like, I want to come back and do more with you.

Anytime you know that, you're my favorite guest out of all of the guests. So thank you. Love you. Love you too. Bye. Bye. I'm Caitlin Bristow. I'll see you next Tuesday.

Thanks for listening. Listening to Off the Vine with Caitlin Briscoe. Get new episodes every Tuesday exclusively on Podcast1.com, the Podcast One app and subscribe on Apple Podcasts. Listen up, do you own or rent your own home? I'm sure you do, and I bet it can be hard work. But you know what's easy? Bundling policies with Geico. Geico makes it easy to bundle your homeowners or renters insurance along with your auto policy, and it's a good thing too because you already have so much to do around your home. Geico.com, get a quote, and see how much you could save. It's Geicoe easy. Visit guyco.com today.

That's guyco.com. All this month on Pluto TV, women take the lead in celebration of women's history month. Drop in for the best of female talent in film, TV, documentaries, comedy, and more with big movies like Charlie's Angels, Last Holiday, and Pretty and Pink. Plus, shows like Inside Amy Schumer, Moisha, and Sister Sister. There's something for everyone.