Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Tending to your legal tender with Rachel Cruze

Episode Date: May 28, 2019

Today, authority on personal finance, author of "Love Your Life, Not Theirs", as well as“Smart Money, Smart Kids”, and star of the aptly named “The Rachel Cruze show”, Rachel Cruze herself joins the podcast! Listen up as Rachel shares some of her common sense tips for changing your financial health. Kaitlyn asks Rachel to confirm or deny some of the long held financial myths she's heard. And of course they take time to answers questions from fans like you! See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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I'm your host, Caitlin Bristow. Today's podcast is going to be money. I was trying to be funny, but it's really going to be about money. Because we have an authority on personal finance. That sounds very important. She's written several books, including Love Your Life, Not Theirs. Yeah, that's it. And has been on the New York Times bestseller list with Smart

money smart kids she now has a show appropriately titled the rachel cruise show which you can watch or listen to in order to learn all things finance including everything from travel tips and living your best life regardless of wealth please welcome to the pod rachel cruise thanks wow that was a struggle i'm telling you i usually do podcasts like later in the day i usually have wine we're early we're having coffee we're having chide tea and that just goes to show that i need wine when i podcast you know what i wouldn't judge i would It was, you broke out a bottle of shams right now. I should have.

I usually would. I was like, as she said, chitee latte, I'm going to go with her today. Well, I am expecting. Oh, that's a little bit of the, that's a little bit. Oh, I didn't know that. I know, girl. I got my maternity pants on today. Oh, my gosh.

You're so freaking cute. Thanks. You don't always feel that way, but I appreciate it. I always say that to pregnant women. I feel like they're the most beautiful, glowing women ever. And I'm like, look what your body's capable of. And they're like, I feel like, I feel like. Shit. I'm like, well, you look right. But I am really excited. Congratulations, by the way. I am really excited about today's topic because I have a lot of younger listeners. And as you know, we don't always do our best to teach people about money. And the best ways to save and spend, which is obviously a really important topic. I was the biggest dumb dumb in my 20s with money. And I think that's probably a lot of people. Yes. But if I had like $100 to my name, I was like, woo, going out tonight.

I'm winning. How do I blow it? How do I like not put that into any savings? Like I just thought I was, if I wasn't in debt, I was living life. Totally. Well, which is so speaks to your personality because naturally people are either natural spenders, which I'm actually that. You are. I'm a natural spender. Okay. Yes. I'm like the same way. Like if I have money, I'm like, oh my gosh, I just, I'm going to go shopping. I'm going to go do something with it. I've learned to rein that in some. But then you'll talk to some people and they are natural savers. There's a security part of them. Yeah. That they naturally, it's. It's like, yeah, they want to enjoy life and have fun, but, man, it just feels good. There's something so secure about having money in the bank. So it's a very personality type. I am changing a little bit, though. No, I'm still the same. I was like, now I just have some income to save. Probably, yeah, seriously.

I'm actually making money. Yeah, right. Well, instant maturity over time helps wean both of those, right? So, yeah, you find more of a balance. Can wait, you have a really good radio voice. Do I? Thanks. Well, the Rachel Crews shows a podcast, too, which is,

Well, we're taking audio from the show and made it a podcast, but I appreciate you saying that because radio is like not my thing. Oh, what? Yeah, like audio stuff is not my. Oh, no, I like your voice. I appreciate that. Yeah. Yeah, I mean it. I really, you just touched an insecurity of mine and made me secure.

Thank you. I'm so glad. Now, tell me something nice. No, I'm just kidding. Yeah, no, seriously. You're way, way more wonderful. I love you. Well, perfect.

Keep going. You know what? I feel good about this. We're off to a great start. But, yeah, one of my girlfriends, she, since she was little, her mom said that she would, every dollar that she got for allowance, she would put in her, like, little piggy bank, and she would save, save from the first time she got her allowance. Isn't that funny?

And has done that her whole life. Totally. Personality. It is. It's how you're wired. That's so crazy. Okay, well, let's start off with your background and childhood because your dad is a radio host and a businessman, right? Yes.

Okay. So what was it like growing up with an expert on finance? Like, did that kind of make you rebel and go the other way? And that's why you're a spender? No, no, it didn't really. So Dave Ramsey, growing up in that household, we were around the topic of money a lot. So that is one thing. I look back in my childhood that I'm thankful for. I see that really as a gift because a lot of people I talked to, money was just not talked about. It's like money, politics and sex. You just didn't go there. There's some topics you didn't talk about with your parents. So true. But my parents, they just, they dove in. They made it a part of life.

And so the year I was born, actually, they filed for bankruptcy. Okay. And so that was kind of like the pivotal path of my dad's, you know, moment of being like, okay, I'm supposed to be good at money. You know, he had a degree in finance and did real estate. And he's like, but here I said, broke. What did I do wrong? And so kind of he went back to the common sense way of living with money and started the radio show. It's now the third largest radio show in America, written, you know, bestselling books, millions of copies, like all the things.

Yeah. like it saved her life. Oh, seriously. Oh, so good. Well, yeah. So it's like, it's so funny. He marketed common sense, but that is the best money management. So growing up, it was just common sense. It like was so normal to know if you don't have the money, you don't buy it. And we were told no a lot. Like from as early as I can remember, we worked to make money as kids. Yeah. I mean, they taught us that. Like, we were never given an allowance. We were always on commission. Oh. But that's only taught you so many good life lessons. Oh, yeah. Oh, it's great. It's great. And so, you know, saving up and paying for half of our cars at 16.

I mean, like, all these just life principles that they implemented in our life. So when I transitioned into the real world, when I went to college, when I got married, you know, all that, there was no big yield from adulthood because they did such a great job. You know, we weren't perfect with money, but it was just a part of the rhythm of life. And we were not obsessed. Some people here, I'm Dave Ram's daughter. And they're like, you probably had like mutual fund birthday parties and like all this stuff. Right. Thankfully that was not the case.

But that's what I love. And that's what I love, you know, even talking to people. people with today. It's just like you make it a part of your life and you change small habits. Yeah. And that's, and that's the key. Oh, it's huge. I mean, I, my mom listens to this podcast and she's probably like, don't tell people that. But I was just not taught. Like, my mom always gave me allowance to go and I would just go blow it on McDonald's for lunch. And I'd be like, well, I'm going to get another $5 tomorrow from her. And I didn't, I tried to get a job. I can't remember how old I was. This is embarrassing. I was probably like 16. And I did two weeks of working at a restaurant. And I was like,

well, screw this. I hate working. But is it making ball? Okay. So I got a job at the mall at 16 over Christmas. And I asked off for all. I was like, oh, we're going on vacation. I'm going on a trip with my family this week. Oh, I have this party this day. Like I asked off and the lady was like, I'm sorry, sweetie. You're new. You have to work when we tell you. And I was like, what is this business? Yeah. I was like self-employed from like a young age. I was like, I can't do that. Yeah. I feel you. You're good. I felt the same. I was like, I don't like being told I have to be somewhere and do something. Screw working. My mom will give me money. That's right. That's right. All right. We're going to take a quick

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on select items $45 or more. Visit home depot.com for more information. But everyone grows up so differently. And my relationship with money was just like, and it kind of made it really hard for when I moved to Vancouver on my own. Yeah. And they were kind of like, okay, well, what do you like, you got to get a job. And I'm like, you're not going to pay my rent. And like, I'm dancing four times a week in Vancouver. I don't have time to work. They're like, yeah, what are you going to do the other three days of the week? Like, hello. I'm like, but. But it's so many people have that reality check. Right. You know what you mean? Like that's so. It was good for me. That's right. And you need real.

I mean, obviously, you're doing great. So, like, yeah, you're not still in that mindset. Some people are. Right. But, yeah, it is. And money's a hard topic because people in general just don't talk about it. Not only parents and not only do people not grow up understanding how it works and it being a part of their life. But, like, even in society, like, people just don't talk about it.

Or if they do, it's intimidating, right? That's very true. And it's like investment portfolio. You know, you hear all this stuff. I'm watching billions right now with my husband from Showtime. Yeah. You know, you watch that whole world. And it's like, some people think, like, oh, finance.

Like, I have to be that smart in order to win. And it's just not the truth. It's not the truth. That's me. I feel like I'm not as knowledgeable as some when it comes to finances and money. And Jason, who I'm dating, he's, like, got his MBA and, like, he's a financial, like, expert. Like, he's just, it's what he does. He's like, and it's so funny because I tell him things.

He's like, do you not know this and do you not know this? And I'm like, huh? No. What are you talking about? And he's like, oh, my gosh. Caitlin, you're like, you have businesses to run. How do you not know this stuff? And I'm like, well, fill me in.

Yeah, I want to learn. Yeah, I do want to learn. So I feel like he's helping me a lot with that. But that's just something I'm so clueless to that side of it because I'm more of like a creative mind. Sure. And I enjoy entertaining. And that's how I've made my money now is just from that. So that side of it, I'm so lucky to have him now because he's like, I'm going to get you in order here.

For sure. But personal finance. to win them like you know I always say it's it's about 80% behavior it's only 20% head knowledge like for majority of even people listening like yes are there investments and retirement accounts and things like that you need to be knowledgeable of to win long term 100% yeah but like the day-to-day stuff like it is such common sense but doing it right that's the hard part and that's like most of my job is motivating people to do it to live on the budget to get out of debt and live debt free to put yourself in a position but again it's the

behavior change, that's the most difficult part, not the head knowledge. Right. It's the behavior change. Do you hear that, everybody? Is that the one thing you want to get across to people who are younger and feel like they don't really know too much about the finances, that it's that? Yeah, I mean, I would say that for sure. Because it seems so daunting and overwhelming and if you don't know, but it's, I mean, it is just learning little things along the way that, you know, in five years down the road, you'll thank yourself for starting to learn now, you know? 100%. Yes. And just being intentional. Like I think so many people live day to day and you look up in a year's past and you're doing your taxes and it's like, where did all my money go? Like, you know what I mean?

Like I worked hard and it says I made all this money, but I have no idea where it is. And so happening to your money, not your money happening to you, is something that you have to realize. Like, you have to be in charge of it. If not, your money is going to control you. Yeah. And so being intentional and part of that is budgeting. I mean, a couple of other things we can dive into later. But really, really taking control of the subject in your life. It's amazing because money touches every part of our lives. Like it's woven through our day. It's woven through our lives.

And when you can get it under control and you can have a plan and you can be free of the stress maybe and free of the payments and free of these things, it's amazing what it does and how it changes your mindset from life. Yeah, because some people are just even scared to sit down and budget because they almost don't want to see it on paper what they make and what they're putting out. because when you actually sit down and write out what you spend, you're like, oh, that's where it all goes. Oh, and that's terrible? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Like, just restaurants. Like, if you just pull restaurants and you're just like, oh, like, if you're not keeping track of it and you look, yeah, it'll make you sick.

Yeah. But doing the reality check because, you know, part of my message is like, not that you can't have a great life. Like, you can still have a great life, but you can be in control where you're doing it. But, yeah, that's like the scariest part for people. You're exactly right to, like, lay out even like, here's all the debt I have. Here's where I spend my money every month. Which it'll help you, obviously, but it's just so intimidating to people. And it's, again, it's just so overwhelming to see it all on paper.

Yes. And a little word of encouragement, most of the time, though, it's really not as bad as you think it is. You've kind of painted this, like, monster in your minds. And the unknown is what's scary, but putting it down and actually, like, going through it the exercise. But then when you see it, it's kind of like, okay, I actually have a place to begin. Right. And it's not just all floating up in, like, the atmosphere, right? Yeah.

And I feel like just millennials these days, they don't think millennials these days. Like, what am I 80? I'm pretty sure I am a millennial. Like, anyways, like, I just find that nobody really thinks about down the road and their savings and what that can actually do for them later in life and putting away, you know, any kind of money for retirement. Like, nobody thinks about that. Everybody's just in the now.

What's happening now? What can I get my hands on now? And what would you say that is one thing that millennials or younger adults are doing wrong when it comes to money that would be an easy change? Yeah, I think, I don't know if this would be an easy change, but the yolo mentality, right? I mean, like, there is something in us that we want to live in the moment. And the hard thing that our generation faces that no other generation has is that we get to have a glimpse into what everyone else is doing via social media. Like you're seeing everyone's weekend plans. you're seeing the trips they're going on, the houses they're living in the car. And you're like, well, I must need to do that.

100% and you start to feed into this lie that okay this is the standard of living for people my age living in this city this is what my life should be like and if it's not how do I get there and then the avenue of debt opens up and it's like well you can go get a car loan you can go you know take you know into credit card debt for that vacation like here you can go and do all these wonderful things and in the moment it's like okay perfect not only do I deserve it because everyone else is doing it I went I graduated the same time as that person over there for college and they're doing that so sure and you and you feed into this lie and what in up happening is it catches up with you so quickly. I mean, it may take a year or two. But once those bills start to come and you start to live paycheck to paycheck, the stress and the anxiety that comes around this idea of, well, I can't put anything away. If something happens, if I lose my job, like, I don't know how I'm going to pay my bills. I have nothing in savings. Like, those things start to fester. And so that's the mentality I want people to break is you have to stop comparing your life to everyone else's. Your life is unique. Amen. Yes, put the blinders on. You have to put the blinders on. That's for financially

emotionally. Oh, relationally, all the things. I know. I know. It's so hard. And so, and to that point, and you know this,

and I feel like most of us do now, but we've lived with social media long enough that I'm like, it's a snapshot. Yeah, exactly. You're seeing one part of that. Like, I saw a girl, I don't even know,

but I follow her. And she, like, built this new house and I'm, like, looking at this, like, brand new kitchen. Well, turns out that was like two years ago. And then, like, reading her blog, her husband lost his job.

Wow. And they're having to sell it. And all this, took out, you know, all these mortgages that they couldn't, like, mortgage upon mortgage upon mortgage and they can't pay for it, you know, but I'm like, two years ago, I never would have thought she was in that situation. Right. Because I just saw the beautiful granite.

That's it. Yeah. So you never know the reality behind the picture. And so you just have to remember that as well, that like, it's the highlight. It's that moment. I talk about that a lot on this podcast, the highlight reel. And how it's just because sometimes people will think they know what my day is like because I do a lot of Instagram stories. But I'm like, do you forget that it's just 10 seconds? One Instagram

story is 10 seconds of a 24 hour day. And obviously, we're putting out our best selves in those 10 second clips. And I try and not. I try it. Sometimes I'm very vulnerable. But that's, I think we all are so aware that that's the truth, but we still believe in the lie. We don't function in it. That's right. That's right. I know. So I tell people all the time that like comparison, it'll steal your joy, but it also still your paycheck. Yeah, that's so true. Because you'll end up spending money to keep up this lifestyle that you see everyone else living and that you feel like you're missing out on. So that's so true. And I would say that's probably one small change people can make like stop buying the avocado toast. Yeah, right. Like you could, people are obsessed with

you know the trendy, going to the trendy place and getting the avocado toast. I'm like, you could spend 65 cents on an avocado and like get a loaf of bread. totally make your own three dollars and stupid avocado toast I don't know what you know these weird things because it looks good on a blog post or you know it's just so crazy it is totally totally so I yes I'd say that's for sure a change is to put the blinders on and also I've dropped it a few times but it's just a tactical point but to budget yeah to have a budget is there any app out there that you suggest every dollar every dollar every dollar so there's a free version and then you can have a budget you can have a budget is there's a free version and then you can pay a small fee for it to connect to your bank, which I would recommend doing, go ahead and pay the small fee. And doing a zero-based budget where you say, okay, here's my income for the month. Here's all of my expenses listed out. Yeah. And my income minus all those expenses should equal zero. So every dollar coming in is assigned to a category, everything from giving, saving to everything. And so being, and it takes a few months. So if you've never done it

before, you're probably hearing this and like, oh my gosh, I don't even know where to begin. Right. Download the app. Yeah, yeah. Download the app. That'll help you get started for sure. Okay. And it takes 90 days to get at work. Give yourself three months because the first three months of budgeting, it's going to be a disaster. And I talk to people and they are like, well, I tried it last month, but it just doesn't work. And so I just can't budget. You know, my income fluctuates or whatever. You know, I get every excuse.

Oh, and I'm like, no, you have to stick with it. Because after three months, you'll start to see consistencies. You'll see patterns. You'll see bills that are the same month to month. Like, it starts to get into this pattern. You're like, okay, this is it. Because a budget, it doesn't limit your freedom because for so long as a spender, I thought, if I live on a budget, that means I can't have fun. Like, I can't go shopping.

I can't enjoy life. Right. But no, it does not limit your freedom. It gives you freedom, actually, because you can actually spend money and you're in control. And you know. So if you have your restaurant line item and you want to go get the $6 avocado toast and there's money in that line. Then you can go freely. I'm like, you know, I have the money allocated for this.

I can go. But when it's not there, then that's when you go get your 63 cent avocado and make it at home. And then just buy yourself like a or no, get like an app on your iPhone that makes pictures look pretty. Yes, that's right. And you take a picture of your own avocado toast and just, you know, do a little editing. That's it. It's it. Just do the brightness level. All of a sudden, you're a blogger. Yeah, that's right. Welcome to 2019. Yeah, there you go. All right. Well, let's take a quick pause and talk about millennials and how they have three times as much student debt as their parents. I'm sure you know that because you're having to pay it back and we all know

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Do you think that comes with budgeting? It does. Budget, a budget gives you a plan. But I'd say, like, the heart part of money is so important, too. So it's okay to have nice stuff. Yeah. Like, it's okay to go on the great vacation. I was joking about the new kitchen with a granite countertop.

That's okay. Like, having nice stuff is not bad. No, no, of course. But it's when your nice stuff has you. Yeah. Where it turns bad. And so it can kind of have you in two ways. One, you go into debt for it.

Yeah. Because mathematically. you don't own it. Someone else has it. And so you don't have a stay over it and you're paying out your paycheck, you know. So it has you in that way. And then number two, it has you in your contentment, your happiness you think is going to be fulfilled by that thing. Because no material item is ever going to give you happiness. Right. It's not. It can be fun. Yeah. It can be fun. Like a new car. That's fun. You get in. You smell the new leather. You're like, this is fun. It can be fun. But after a while, it just becomes another car. Like, it will never fulfill you. And we are a society. We're like, we're like, we're like, like a rat in a wheel and we just run, run, run, and we get nowhere. And I do this too. Like, I believe the lie. You know, I'll look at J. Crew and I'm like, oh, if I could just have that jacket, like, I'd be happy. Right. Like, you're still human. Yeah, you still think like, oh, that's it. And it's like what? The jacket just becomes another jacket. Three months later, stuffed in the back of the closet and you're going on to the next thing. So, like, the newness of stuff cannot fund your happiness. And we fall into

that. People think that. Yeah. People really truly believe that, no matter how many times they do it and see that that doesn't work. It's crazy to get out of that mindset. Yes. I'm not going to do this justice because I don't even remember the girl's name, but I was listening to this podcast, Oprah's, I listen to Oprah's podcast, and she had this lady on who was talking about how, you know, people back in the day used to be people of the land and they were more chill and we're like a generation of fire where it's just like we're

always on her phone and doing the next thing and seeing like it's just like the busyness of our life. Yeah. And I wish I could tell everybody to go listen to this podcast because it's actually so I'm going to look it up right now just because it is. But that's kind of what she was saying, like the whole rat and the wheel thing where you just, you just go and you go and nothing is satisfying you or fulfilling you and people just want the next best thing all the time. Totally.

Yes. And it ruins our happiness in the present. But also, again, back to the money part. I'm like, it ruins people's financial futures because they just spend and spend and spend and spend and spend and spend and spend and spend and spend and spend and even when they don't have the money, they keep spending and spending and spending and spending and you end up with credit card debt and no happiness. Like, I mean, that's the end result. And I find that in relationships you spend more. Yes. Is that a thing?

I would say, I mean, because of like, what, date nights and trips and like all the things that you're doing. Yeah. Do you have any advice on managing money when it comes to being an enrollment? relationship or whether that's married or just dating or anything like I do find that you know you spend more when you're dating yes you can because you're going out right yeah you're doing stuff so yeah when it comes to there's a kind of I have like two sets of like different rules I guess for dating and marriage yeah so when you're dating you know things like don't combine your finances keep things separate yeah but have money conversations like talk about it because some people get

into marriage and they haven't even no idea have no idea they don't know what their partner makes. They don't know how much debt they have. Right. They don't know if they're a spender or a saver. I mean, you'll probably pick that up, you know, knowing them, but, uh, but it's important to have. That is an important conversation. Yes. Because money, it really represents your value system. Yeah. And you can say, okay, here's like my goals and my dreams and my fears. Like, here it is. And when you can't agree or understand that about your partner, like, that makes it really difficult in a relationship. Because one of the leading causes of divorce, fast forward a few years, if you get married, is money fights and money problems. Always. Always. Yes. Not.

being on the same page so that and social media that's it I know right oh my gosh oh my gosh I know I saw a list and it was like the number one reason people get divorced is infidelity and then how many it's tied to like social media stuff like you know and the number two was money yeah and I was like it's crazy that was number one uh infidelity oh just in general really but then what it's tied to you know I was wondering about social media that's so crazy so yeah so when you're married though combine your finances yeah You're one in every aspect of your life, including your money. I talked to some couples, and it's like they're running on two separate lanes.

Really? And they're like, well, he pays these bills. I pay those bills. Why is that that people do that? I think because they still want their independence. Okay. Yeah, that makes sense. And there's probably a sense of, like, security of saying, well, I'm taking care of myself still.

And then there's always the fight of, well, I make more. Why are you spending my money? Yes. Yeah. All of that. So I'm like, ditch all of that and change your pronouns. It's our money together. Because what it does is it brings unity, not only tax.

Practically speaking, are you working out of like the same checking account and that kind of thing? But in your relationship, oh my gosh, the unity that's created when you're married and you're like, we're one. Again, with our money, with everything. And here we are. We're not roommates, right? Like you're paying these bills. I'm paying those. No, you're together.

Your teammates. You're working together as a team. And so that's a big part of marriage is to say, okay, together our money is one. And that's why you have to have those conversations. And they might be tough conversations to have, but it's so necessary. I did this Relationship Reset course online I had this girl on my

podcast, her name's Vienna and she does her and her husband are marriage relationship family therapist Oh cool, yeah and they did this online course for relationships

and Jason and I were like oh let's just do it it's supposed to be a relationship reset like if you're having troubles or whatever but we're like it would be fun to just do it to get to know each other and you know what our strengths are

and what our weaknesses are and what the shadows we live in from our childhood and how, you know, and it got into tough conversations and money and again, like just things that happened to you that can, you know, lead into how you behave in a relationship. And it was so important and I learned so much and he learned so much. And it's so good. And it's those tough conversations and that will set you up for success in a marriage and a healthy relationship. And even one of them, we talked about it earlier, but it's true like, know how your spouse grew up with money. Like, what was their household like? Like, was it

stressful where there fights? Right. Was it like so tight that you're like, oh my gosh, we can't do anything because my parents have no money or was it free and open? Like what was the environment like? Because even that shapes your perspective and your habits too. So yeah, just all the aspects of it. Just lay it all out there.

Do seriously. I mean, like, man, it is worth it. Because it can have your partner feel like obviously some empathy or some insight into who you are and why you could be a certain way. Yes, absolutely. And to know like opposites attract. So usually in a relationship, one's a savior. one's a spender.

Yep. One's like going to love to do the budget. Like they're hearing every dollar right now. And they're like, yes, I'm down. I've already downloaded it. Like, this is great. Jason like gets a boner about money. I'm like, settle down.

Yeah. That's so funny. Yeah. So taking two people that are so opposites and how they view money and how they act with money and force them to work together is it can be tough. Yeah. But it's so doable. And the budget is when you're married, like do the budget together.

Say, hey, this is our money. Here's where it's going together. And you can make it a little date. Have a glass. That's what I say. Make it fun. Yes. And the more you do it, the more it becomes normal and it's not a big deal. Right. And usually there is, when you say opposites attract, usually one person is a little more calm and the one's overwhelmed. I get overwhelmed and Jason could be like, we're going to figure this out. You're like, see everything. I'm done. I'm done. That's me. That's me with everything. I

swear, I just get so easily overwhelmed and I'm like, I just want to quit. I know my husband. He's actually, it's so funny. I'm the opposite of what everyone thinks. thinks I am. I'm the spender and I'm actually the free spirit. My husband's more of like the nerd and loves the budget and he's the saver. But we're building a house right now. And so like we have like this, he has this whole Excel sheet of all these numbers and everything budgeted out by my, I mean, and I open it and I'm like, oh, gosh. I was like, you have to give me a second. Like I have to like. It's a lot. But he just thrives on it. Like which is so great. Yes. Oh, yeah. Yeah. You need each other for sure. You're building a house. That's so exciting. Like from the ground up. Yes. Oh, would you

recommend that? Yes. Yes. Because, number one, I would say, you want. Yeah, that's the great thing. You know, I mean, this is not going to shock everyone's talking about money. Financially, we're in a spot that we totally could. It's not going to stress us out.

We're not going to go if something goes downhill. I mean, it won't. But like we're not putting all of our eggs in one basket, if that makes sense. So we're in a place financially where it's not stressful, which is huge. And Wednesday, we had, and we've known this ever since we first got married, even when we first picked out our first thing of furniture. Like, we just agree on a lot of things. Oh, that's like our style and stuff is so good.

So, like, for us, it's not been a big deal. Like, we've just like, I mean, it really hasn't. Some people, it's like, oh, they, they, like, want to kill each other. Because you've probably had these conversations. Yeah, that's right. That's right. Yes. How long have you guys been together?

We started dating college. Oh, cute. Yes. University of Tennessee, go balls. I love that. Yeah. So it'll be 10 years in December with a marriage. Oh, that's so nice.

Yeah. Yeah, it's crazy. Oh, that's great. We got married young. Yeah. That's fine. Yeah, it was great. Oh, yeah, yeah.

And you have kids already, right? Yes. So we got those out fast. I have two girls. Yes. A four-year-old and a two-year-old. And then baby boy. We just found out it's a boy.

I know. Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. I thought it was another girl, Caitlin, which was great. Right, of course. We want three kids. Whatever happens. It's great.

Of course. And I was like, Disney princesses, it's just going to be our thing. Like, we're going to be a princess family. And like, we're going to have all girls. And so, yeah, when I told us so boy, that is so exciting. I was so floored. So, yeah, so he'll come in October. So, yeah, they're all about two years apart.

So we're, and then we're done. And then it's like, all right. Three kids. We got it. Three kids sounds so. I mean, I used to always want five. Oh, yeah. But, you know, I'm going to be 34 next month.

And I would have to be getting to work quick here. But three to me just sounds so a lot of work. I'm sure. No, yeah, yeah. But sounds so nice. I know. Well, like the two girls. I don't know. This is just how I'm wired. I'm like, they're great and it's fun, but I was like, Winston, it just feels so like predictable. I was like, I just need like an element of crazy. And I feel like a third kid just like adds to it. I'm like, that's kind of what I want.

That's a great mindset. Just a little bit of chaos with the fact that we work and travel and like do all of it. So we're a little nuts. I do for my job. Yeah. I mean, not a ton. I cut back once I had the first, the first baby. Okay. So I'm always looking for more ways to get vegetables into my diet. I know a lot of people make green smoothies, but only putting vegetables into my smoothies. I mean, but only putting vegetables into my smoothies. can make them not taste so great. And that's why I love dual fruit and veggie blends. They've created amazing balanced recipes of frozen fruits and veggies, so I know I'll always be getting a delicious smoothie. All the work of pairing great tasting fruits and veggies is done for me. I can blend great flavors like berries and kale or fruits and greens, in with some almond

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We'll be back with more off the vine with Caitlin Bristow. Alexa isn't the only one with breaking news. Make sure to hang around at the end of this podcast for the latest breaking headlines on the AP News. News Minute. On your journey through Hollywood, let Todd Garner be your guide. Wow, this is show business. The Producers Guide with Todd Garner. Recent guests include Anna Farris.

I've come to the conclusion that I just think I don't know what my face is doing. Adam Carolla. I'm teaching traffic school. It's 7.44 in the morning. Of course, my stand-up career's not going well. And Avengers director, Joe Russo. There's a direct connection between arrested and community and what we did an Infinity War. Don't miss the producer's guide with Todd Garner.

on Apple Podcasts and Podcasts and Podcasts 1 Off the Vine with Caitlin Bristow Tell me I can get a dog and still travel a lot Yes, we have a lot Yes, we have a lab You do

Yes Do you get a Caitlin do it Well I am dog obsessed Everybody knows this Yes But to me Okay so I don't even know

I'm going to put it out there There's this dog And his name is Rahman And he is from China And he got really abused and kicked in the stomach so many times because apparently in China they're like terrible to their dogs well they they abuse goldens the most because goldens take it so well

because of their like loyalty which just makes me want to throw up and cry at the same time and so this one dog his name is ramen and I helped him get through surgery and I like donated money and I just felt like this attachment to him and so he just got out of surgery and he had a broken femur and he's doing well and he's just the cutest little thing. He's in China. And he's in China, but he's ready to be adopted. Why don't you adopt him? Because everybody's like, you're not home enough. Everybody's trying to deter me from getting this dog, but something inside my soul is telling me to get this dog. When I heard he was ready for adoption, I just started crying. Like, I feel attached. I'm like, I helped him get through

the surgery. I feel attached. I like stalk him on social media every day to see how he's doing. I cry over him. And I just feel like he's mine already. How would you feel if you looked to on social media and he is like with another family. Would you be happy or would you be pissed? Well, I'd be happy if he was in a good home. Sure, sure. But would you be like, no, that's supposed to be mine. Yes.

Yeah, see. And so everybody's trying to tell me I'm not home enough. But he's compact enough that you can get a certificate. And he can fly with you. And he can fly with me. Yeah. And if not, I have a dog nanny that I found in Nashville who fosters dogs all the time. And she's like, would be willing to house sit and dog sit.

See, you're good. Oh, no. Well, this is like, this is my. life theory on dogs and kids like any responsibility you have I'm like they're coming into your life yeah including kids and dogs like yes they are so I'm like we're going to continue to do what we're doing I mean granted yes you're going to make some shifts right and there's some sacrifice involved a hundred percent but like yeah sometimes you're going to come with us sometimes you're going to be okay staying with the dog nanny or the grandparents or whatever I'm going to give them such a good life

still yes and I feel like signs from the universe like a little golden just waltzed into my backyard um two days ago you're like and I was like Is that you? I did. I was like, and the, it didn't have an owner. And so I went out to try and get him to be like, hey, come here. And to see his collar and try and help. Totally.

And he just, so he booked it around the corner. There was two of them. And then the two dogs just ran out. And I, I chase. They're coming for you, Caitlin. They, like, they're in their dog way. And the next morning is when the girl, so this place is called bunnies, bunnies, buddies. And she messaged me the next morning and being like,

And Raman's ready to have a mom. And I was like, oh, God. Of course he is. Of course he's ready. Yeah. So anyways, wow, really off topic there. Well, I don't know your schedule in and out, but I'd say go for it. It's pretty crazy, but I would make changes and I would make sure.

And he'd be okay with the dog manny. Yes. And I want to take a road trip to Canada this summer. And I asked is, is he good in cars and he loves being in the car? You need a little companion I'm going to start crying right now It's going to be my little And my old

Start a GoFund me page My old dog Get ramen here Yes Get ramen to Nashville To America They have flight Volunteers and everything

To get him from China To hear Oh my God Everything is just I need to get him But in the dog that I lost In the breakup That I'm still devastated about

So I always called my old dog Doodle Yeah And then Because his name was Tucker doodle and then I started calling him noodle and then this one I'm like it's ramen noodle it's my noodle 2.0 it's the 2.0 like all these things are just happening all the signs are pointing do it you know I would be rude to ignore these signs because see at least a dog doesn't go to like counseling later in

life and talk about all the wounds that he had exactly kids will do that for you but a golden retriever will see that I saved him and he will be loyal to me for life I know how old is he he's only one Oh, so, like, puppy, puppy. You can have a good life with them. 12, 13 years ahead of you came in. 15 if I'm... That's true. That's true.

15, I'm putting it out there. I'm like, all the surgeries earlier. Yeah, exactly. So with having a family, how do you teach your kids? Are they old enough to be learning about money or is that something new? They're like babies. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We are not getting these types of.

Yeah, listen. This is branded and generic. You'll learn this. Well, the four-year-old, Amelia, like, yes. I love that name. Oh, do you? Amelia, I love that name. Okay, what's so funny, Caitlin, so we named her.

I didn't really know a lot of Amelia. It's like Amelia Bidilia. I grew up with those books. And that's like, and I mean, my husband graduated with a girl in his class that the name was Amelia. But that's like, I mean, that's the only. Right, because that's what people do. Oh, Amelia.

Oh, oh, I went to school. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, she was great. Like, yeah, he was great with Amelia. Yeah. But that's like, but I, but we knew no one named Amelia. Yeah. And so I was like, I like that it's a sort of unique, but it's not strange, right?

It's not like galaxy or something like that you're like, it's like a normalish name, but it's still kind of unique. And now it's like in the top 10 baby names. Yes, Amelia's become so popular. I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, that's not always the case for me. So I was like, I feel good. But thanks. Yeah. So Amelia's for, so yeah, so just like, it's like such small things like cleaning her room, like learning responsibility.

Yep. And probably in the next year or two, we'll start paying her for. a couple of things like a dollar here or there and have her save up like I always tell people with kids like get a clear container and put it in their room and yeah and so they can just like watch the money and pay them not like in pennies like give them dollar bills so they can

like it takes up room visually right like they just you start to associate okay working yeah equals money and when you go spend money you can spend it here you can save it like you just start it's so age appropriate it's so small but you start to build on that and then eventually

when they're you know 14 then they really have a grasp when understanding like how it works so starting as early as possible is key so yeah we do we do little things with Amelia here or there

but it's nothing intense yeah I like that that's good that's just I mean not even you know that's just good to teach them responsibility in general right

in general yes yes because I'm like so many and I get this because I can feel it as a mom sometimes we're like oh I'll do it for you it's good because I'm an efficient person so I'm like

clean the room let me do it it'll take literally two minutes because if she does it it's like she wanders all You know, it's like it takes a 10 minutes versus two. And I'm like, sometimes you just want to do it for them for efficiency's sake or just the fact of like, you're fine, you're for.

Yeah. You know, but you, as a parent, I'm like, it's just big to like kind of start giving them a little, loosening that rope a little bit and be like you're going to feel a little bit of responsible. Like when you take the toys out, like, yeah. Mom's not going to, I'm not going to be here to clean it up 10 years later. Right. I know what I mean so.

No, I think that's really great. It's little things. Let's talk about asking for a raise. I feel like especially with women, people are just scared to ask for what they, rightful deserve, but it can make such a difference getting up the courage to just ask. Yeah. What is the best way to go about that? Yes.

I would say do your research. So figure out what your position is making out in the marketplace. And if you're finding that the average that you're getting paid way below that, then you have a good template, a factual template, not like, I feel like I'm doing a good job. I feel like I should be getting more. But there's like actual facts here to back it up. So I'd say that. And, you know, we won't get into the topic.

but like the whole women's rights and all of that. But I'm like, if you're working for a place that truly doesn't respect you as a woman, you probably shouldn't be working there in the first place. Do you know what I mean? Like when it gets to that point, I'm like, and I've been thankful that like I'm part of a, you know, a culture where like it doesn't matter. Like women are great in leadership. Like, you know what I mean? Like it's not even a question whether you're a guy or girl.

It's like, are do you have the skills capable of doing it? And so that's how I've grown up. So it's a little bit in a bubble. But I'm like, but if I truly was going to a job and my boss. or my leader or whoever it is or people around me like because I'm a woman literally that's the only reason I'm like sorry I'm out like yeah I know that's easier said than done but it's like yeah don't put yourself in that environment if that if it really comes down to that but but a big part is having the facts and just doing the ask so true and I feel like people are constantly spending

money on okay bachelor bachelor bachelor at parties weddings I feel like that always adds up for travel gifts everything that comes along with it hotels do you have any recommendations for being part of a wedding party or how to maybe even say no if you feel like you're going beyond your means? Yes. Oh, this is a hard one. Yeah. Yeah, I would say that having

boundaries is not a bad thing. Boundaries. It's not a bad thing. Yeah. And so there are some people, they expect you to be at every single thing. And when you're a bridesmaid, it is hard. Like, you're expected to be at the showers, expected to help throw everything, expected to help be at the bachelor's work. It's a lot. Big responsibility.

And being married 10 years ago, like, when I got married like we were all broke like we were like you know right out of college like it was not like we weren't like but if you're getting married later which a lot of people are then people have actual careers and jobs so then people are going out of town whether it's destination weddings destination

bachelor parties like the travel portion has become so much more popular and the norm and so what I would say is like you have to look at your financial situation and if it really is hurting you if you're having to go into debt if you're in a place that you're like I cannot afford to go Then your best friend or family should understand.

I mean, seriously, and it's so awkward and it's hard to admit, but have the conversation because when you look back, you've probably been to 13 other bachelorette party. I'm like, you know, the exception is like sister or like best, best, best, best friends. I get the feeling of like, oh, gosh, I have to be there. Right. But if you're just another one of the wedding party because it's like everyone's just being asked and all that, like have the boundary. And it's okay. It's okay to say no.

It's not fun. You're not going to enjoy it. but it's so worth it in the long run yeah exactly it'll be beneficial to you in the long run I was just remembering to scrolling this morning somebody did a quote that said empathy without boundaries as self-destruction oh yeah oh that's good yeah yes yeah love the boundary but that's good I know she does this is the same girl Vienna who I did the relationship course um her Instagram let me just give her a shout out because I'm obsessed mindful MFT she always she's big on boundaries and boundary conversations

and she has so many good boundary quotes so good. Yeah. Okay, I have a question for you. You're on your way to work listening to your favorite podcast. Mine. What snacks do you have? Big snack guy. What kind of you got? Are you craving something sweet? Maybe something spicy. Maybe even spicy and salty. Go get yourself some blue diamond almonds and find your new favorite almond. They have great flavors like honey roasted, saracha and wasabi and soy flavored almonds. Blue diamond almonds aren't you're usually boring snack and they're better than whatever you're snacking on now. Guaranteed they're so good. Almonds are superfood.

Don't deny your cravings. Eat them. Blue Diamond almonds crave victoriously. I wanted to get to confessions. Because this is always my favorite part of the podcast. Do you have one for me? A confession. I know.

They told me they're like the one thing she's going to ask you is she's going to make you confess something. I was like, okay. Every time. So the first thing that came to find, I always was like, if someone asked me, this is what I'm like, and this is like pre-kids. This is like when I'm like 22. Perfect. Yes.

I, I've not been medically diagnosed. I probably should be. Okay. I've not been. But my bladder, Caitlin, it's an issue. Okay. It's an issue. I'm sure after kids, it's a bigger issue.

Yeah. I mean, it's just, it's gone down here quick. I'm like, something's got to happen. Yeah. Literally. Like, even call. like I remember like I it is not uncommon for me to pee on my pants as a as a full blown grown adult woman that's okay yeah so I remember being 22 so I speak as well for a living so I do events

and um I was speaking up in Michigan and it was probably with like I mean it was 2,000 people probably and doing my thing I'm getting to the end and I was like oh my gosh I have got to go the bathroom I have to pee I've got to pee and I'm like I can't I got to keep walking like you got like I mean and I'm just totally check like my mind I'm gone because I'm like it's it's it's it's going to happen and Caitlin it happened it happens on stage on stage like to the point this is like no yes I know that's what color what color were you wearing dark jeans okay okay so I and I had a longer shirt on but I mean I literally was like oh my I'm being in my pants right now and I'm walking around and I literally like as I'm walking

I'm looking down at the carpet to be like, is there like a trip? Like, I thought it was carpet. That's how bad it was. But I was just like, oh, my gosh, nothing was, everything was good. I was like, okay, I don't think anyone, I don't think anyone visually. But in my mind, I'm like, oh, it's all just like, you know. Did you watch, did you watch Stars Born? Yes, yes.

You and he goes on stage with her and peas. That was you. Oh, no. Bradley Cooper. I was like, oh, my gosh. I wasn't like stoned and drunk out of my mind at that point. But like, I was like, I felt that. Oh, I fit. Oh, oh. The empathy. The empathy for that character in that moment.

But I get down and I sit down in the front row and there was this lady next to me and I was like, I have. And I never met her, but I was like, I have to ask you something. I was dying. I was dying inside. And I was like, dying inside. And I was like, I peed in my pants up there. And she like looks at me. She's like, you did? I was like, did you notice? She was like, no. And I was like, thank God. Thank God. So it was totally cover. Like, like, no one knew. But 100% Caitlin. on stage. Like, I've done it in the car. I've done it laughing with friends. Like, it's happened before in my life. I've gotten comfortable with that. Yeah. No, not. I thought you were just going to tell me you have a small bladder and that was your confession. That's a good one. No, I peed in my pants on stage. I mean, thank God you weren't wearing something that you could see and that it wasn't like a hardwood floor. Bradley Cooper. Yeah. All the fears. I saw and I was like, oh, that could have been me. That's so anyways, that's it. That's tough. I'm not terrible. Well, that's like pre-kids. Like, I wish I could blame it on like, whatever. Right. You know what? I need to go to the doctor.

My husband's been telling me that for 10 years. Like, babe, you need to go see someone. By the way, if you have to leave to go to the bathroom at any time during this podcast, you feel free. I appreciate it. Thank you, Caitlin. Oh, you know what I just about said something? We were talking before the, before we started recording about being from the South and how I really want to say y'all and how I like, I almost said, bless your heart. I almost did.

See, it's in you. But I feel like that. That's a passive, aggressive, like, no, yeah, it is. You know, so in the South, it's like, oh, bless your heart. Bless your heart. So I didn't want to say it. Look at her, bless her heart. But I really meant bless your heart.

Thank you. Yeah. I feel the empathy. Yeah, I mean it. I mean it. So you came out, wait, I don't have a confession. Oh, seriously? They were like, she's going to ask you for one and she'll get one.

I was like, oh, I'm curious about hers. I usually, I mean, I try. But if you try to do a confession, every podcast. podcast. Yeah, that's hard. I get that. Every podcast I say. The content dries up eventually. I get it. I'm trying to think of anything. I'll be the sacrificial land for it. Don't worry. Yeah. Thank you. I'm trying to really think about anything that's happened in the past week or something that went down in Mexico. But like, I mean, I had too much to drink one night in Mexico. And Jason made fun of me the next day because he said, I was trying to play a game with people. And nobody was really into the game. But I got really angry that people weren't into the game. And then they played it with me for like one second and everybody was like, whoa, how'd you do that? And then they Googled it. And it was like supposed to be like my little magic trick with this game. And they Googled it.

And I actually got pissed off at one girl who I like barely know. And I was like, what are you doing? I was like, can't believe you ruined my game. And I was just like so stupid. There's that's my confession. Okay. This is so random. And if you haven't heard of it, we're going to move on because it's probably going to be too difficult.

Have you heard of the eneagram? Have I heard of the aneagram? Are you at seven? No, I'm a three. You are? I'm a three. You are? Yes.

I thought you were a seven because I read this thing on Instagram and it was like, what happens when you're drunk, what numbers are like, and sevens are like, play my game, play my game, play my game. Really? So when you're talking, I was like, I wonder. Maybe I have a seven wing somehow through the, through the circle. Okay. Oh, you're a three. Yeah.

I like that. I love three, sevens and eights. We're like, what are the eights? The challenger. Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. The enthusiast.

Okay, like, let's just have fun all the time. Like, what's your husband? He's a five, which is the investigator. Okay. There's not a lot of fives. I haven't met him a lot of fives. You know what? So he's introverted.

Yes. So he, like, the spotlight is his like enemy. Oh. He just sits back. Oh, yeah. Zero. Can zero thrive off of like. Yeah.

Like a, right. As performers, we're like, hey. Oh, I know. I live for it. I'm like, everybody, look at me. That's right. That's right. Actually, somebody had said on, I actually wanted to bring this up,

because I, first of all, I feel bad, but they're like, Caitlin, we love your podcast, but you talk too much and you don't let your guest talk. You're always talking over everybody and I'm like, oh, I'm sorry. I just get so excited. I just love talking to people and I'm always like, oh, and then they say something that gets me excited and I just jump in, but I don't need to talk over people. I just get, I'm just like, so excited. And I just love the sound of my own voice.

Sue me. I love it. I love it. I'm, damn, good feedback. I'll take it. Yeah, I'll try. I'll try. I'll try.

I'll try. podcast reviews are the worst oh god i mean i'm pretty lucky but saying all the things like my like one oh do you say that apparently i do but i kind of like it kind of sums everything up all the things all the things i like that no one one one girl told me i talk about jason too much oh that's now i was like sorry i'll replace it with ramen here yeah yeah give me give me a week and it won't be jason anything anymore and then you'll miss it that's right that's right that's funny okay we're going to play quick game and then I have some questions from you from listeners. Okay.

So this is just myth or fact. Okay. You should always buy a property or car if you can rather than rent or lease. Fact. Okay. Do me give like why? Sure. Yeah.

I like that. Yeah. For sure, because when you can own an item, let's take a car, for example. Yeah. So leasing a car is actually the most expensive way to finance a vehicle. It's more expensive than just like getting a car payment. Okay. But even when you take out a car payment on a car, mathematically speaking, I always call it kind of the dumbest type of debt to get into because you're paying interest on something that's going down in value.

So at least with real estate, if you get a house, hopefully it's gone up in value over the course of some years, right? Real estate usually goes up. But like a car, when you buy a car, when you drive it off the lot, it loses like 19% of its value just like that. Right. And so you're paying extra on something that you're going to be selling for way less. Like, just the math standpoint makes no sense. So, yeah. Stupid question, Caitlin. No, no, my gosh.

No, I'm just kidding. No, no, no, no. Because a lot of people don't realize that. Yeah. So, yeah, for sure, if you can buy it, own it 100%. And I'm against all debt except for a mortgage. So I want you to buy a car you can afford. Okay.

I like that. You should use a credit card rather than a debit card to build credit. Myth. But the only way to build credit is with a credit card. Okay. But you actually can live without a credit score. You can? Yes.

You can. How? You can rent it apart. What do you need to do with a credit score? Don't you need a credit to like buy a car or buy a car or buy a debt for a car loan? Yeah, she'll need a credit score, but I don't want you to get a car loan. I want you to pay cash for your car. I did.

I paid cash for my car. You did. Yeah. Caleb's so good. Thanks. So I just wanted you to like tell me. I'm going to like so. So yeah.

So but a mortgage is again. one type of debt I'm okay with. So you can still get a mortgage without a credit score called what's called manual underwriting. So it's when the lender actually looks at you the person. So you have to be current on a job and current with all of your bills like cable, rent, cell phone, all that. And you have to be current for two years and they'll actually underwrite you the mortgage. So the only reason you really need a credit score is to go into more debt, but I don't want you going into debt. Right. Okay. Got it. Oh, I'm learning so much today. All debt is bad debt. Yes, except for a mortgage. Okay. I mean, I want you not to have any debt. So the goal would be to have your

house paid off. But again, it's the one time of debt I want you to let you for. Right. Is that normal for a house to be paid off? Is that? Yes, people are. So people that are doing, like, we call it the baby steps. It's seven steps to get completely debt free and to build wealth. And like the last step is to build wealth and give. So just be like a tremendous giver. How do people find this, by the way? Yes. So Rachelcruise.com, my book, Love Your Life, Not There's. But the big, I mean, my dad like, came up with the plan like years ago. So the total money makeover is like his best belt selling book. So it's on there. Yeah. But I mean, just Google the baby steps. Okay. Yep. And you'll see it. Yep. So it's seven steps. So one of them is to pay off the house

early. So we're actually finding people are paying off their mortgage in eight to nine years after being completely debt-free. So when you focus on, yes. So if you have a, if you have a house a property that's completely paid for, it's incredible. Yeah. No, I know. Could you imagine not even having a house payment? Like it's crazy. That's me. Oh, that's you, you bought a house? I bought a house. You just said you bought a car. I did. In a house.

Yeah. The house is a bigger deal. My gosh. I'm like, am I allowed to brag about that? Yes, you are. Caitlin, that's amazing. Thank you. I mean, seriously, even people that can, I mean, a very small percentage of people that actually can, they still will take out a mortgage.

And I'm like, no, no, no, if you can pay for it, pay for it. Yeah. Like, not even having a house payment. It's the best. I'm so glad you just told me that. Because some people did tell me I should have payments and totally. Yes. Because they're like, oh, well, you can be investing that money instead of, but yeah, all of that.

No, no, no, no. Being completely debt-free, it frees you up, again, financially, mathematically, but also emotionally and spiritually. When you don't owe anything empowering. You can go do whatever you want. Yeah. It's amazing. That's why I love the message about being debt-free. I'm like, it frees you up in every area of your life.

You have choices and you have options now. Like, if you hate the job you're in, guess what? You don't have to do it. You can go find something else because you have no payments. Luckily, I love the job. I know, you stay at it. But you got to do this because you know what I mean? Yeah.

So, oh, my gosh. I'm so impressive. Thank you. I really wanted to impress you today. And mission accomplished. It's a three of us. Exactly. Such a three.

Using cash instead of cards makes it easier to track spending. Wait, that's such a myth, isn't it? I would say myth. It's not easier to track spending, but you can track spending with cash. So I do tell people when you're first starting the budget, do like something really old school, go to the bank, cash out some of the categories. So take like clothing, groceries, eating out like a few categories that you're like. like, okay, I overspend on these, get an envelope, it's so old school, but do it.

Yeah. And just write restaurants on the front and put cash in there. Oh, okay. And when you go out to eat, just take it out, you know, or you can have it like in a clip or something in your wallet and pay with that. Because when you pay with cash, you statistically actually spend less. Right. Because there's a, yes, there's a motion attached to it. So when you spend with cash, an exchange happens and it triggers something in your brain to say, okay, I have to hand you this $100 bill to get the sweater or whatever it is.

I get that. I have to let go of something. So you can actually track it really easily doing the envelope system. But I say a little bit of a myth because with every dollar, you can attach your debit card to it, the budgeting app we were talking about. So whenever you swipe it, swipe your debit card, those transactions come right into the app. So it's super easy to track because it's like right there. I'm going to do that. Yes, do.

I'll give you a code. Okay. I get a code? Swipe up. Hey, I have a car payment. Give me the code. Yeah. Sway bump.

Okay. Keeping money in the bank is safer than the stock market. it. True. Yes, truth, but you're not going to make as much in the bank. So in the bank, you need to have a checking account and have an emergency fund of three to six months of expenses once you're completely debt free. So that can be in a standard savings account. That could be in a money market account. But beyond that, yeah, you'll want to be investing because you can make your money is making money for you. So it's riskier, right, a little bit. But I do. I always advise people when you're investing, though, don't like put all your eggs in one back. basket don't go try to play single stocks and like all like we're watching billions already said that earlier but like yeah they're like doing all this short you know the short play versus long like all this stuff and I'm like no no no no just like mutual funds like something very safe but you're still your money's working for you so it's not as safe as a bank account but but you're going to be making more off of it okay the last one you need to have a lot of

extra money in order to start saving I'd say myth okay I think or I know people you have more money than you realize. But when you're not budgeting, you have no idea where it's going. So when you actually create a plan, a lot of people say they feel like they got a raise. Because like, oh, wow, I didn't realize I was just frivolously spending X, Y, and Z at Starbucks. Or you go into Target and it's like the black hole of goodness. Target is the black hole. I go in for like for toilet paper. Mascar and you walk out with like 18 different things.

Yeah. I know. I know. So it's amazing. It's a relatable problem. How many people, like that's how life is lived. So on a budget, you actually will find money and you have to make saving a priority. Okay.

That's the key. So in the budget, giving is the very first thing I teach. Number two is saving and then you pay your bills. So doing that in order. So you have to make saving a priority because if you don't, you're going to get to the end of the budget and be like, I have no money to save. I'm like, yeah, that's because your budget's upside down. So you have to make it a priority. So the very first step, we're talking about the baby steps, is to get $1,000 emergency fund.

Save up $1,000. It's the very first thing you want to do. And it's kind of like your baby emergency fund. And then you get completely out of debt, everything but your house, and then get that three to six months of expenses saved in the bank. And so those are like kind of the first three steps. But I feel like this is such good advice. Good. You are so smart.

Just repeat a lot. My job. I love it. I love it. I love it. Okay. So I'm going to get to some, a couple questions off Twitter of people that listen. So Steph Redfern says how to budget right out of school with extremely large. debt what are some cost savings I can find to free up my budget example food gym yes I would say

cut out unnecessary expenses so when you're paying off debt the deeper you sacrifice your lifestyle the fast you're going to get out in this generation it's like student loans it's insane like 40 50,000 dollars is normal to come out of school with loans and so you have kind of this mountain to climb and so when you get out and you get your first job don't act like you have your first job like still live like a broke college student right for a few years because the short-term sacrifice of not you know having all the gym memberships and all the subscriptions of you know Netflix and Hulu and like all the money that goes out yes to sacrifice everything you can and I mean literally pay for food keep your lights on you are like sacrifice your lifestyle and so for that

short term get out of debt have no payments and then it's going to free you up your your income is your largest wealth building tool. And when your income comes in and you get to decide what to do with it, that's when you're able to invest and do all these other things that we were talking about. But when your income comes in and it goes right back out to debt payments, it's hard to do anything. And so sacrificing, I would say, sacrifice, sacrifice, sacrifice, pay off that debt. That's good advice. Ashley Barthel wants to know what is your advice for a young couple on where to start when wanting to save for retirement? Yes. So again, going back to the baby steps, completely debt-free, save up that emergency fund of 30 to six months of expenses, and then start

funding 15% of your income into retirement. Okay. So this is going to be things like a 401K if your work has that or if you work for a nonprofit, like a hospital or you're a teacher, it's going to be a 403B. And so usually with those, your employer will match as well. So like that, that'll be all part of the HR discussion. So talk to your HR at your employer and figure that out. And then another would be to open up a Roth IRA.

And all of these kind of things, like 401Ks, Roth IRAs, go talk to an investment professional. Okay. Sit down with someone that does this day in and day out and have them work with you and find someone when you're looking for this person who has the heart of a teacher, not the heart of a salesman. I've heard that before. And that was going to be a question for me. Do you finish and then I'll ask my last question?

No, no, yeah, you're right, you're right. But yeah, like, don't go to someone that you're like, oh, he's kind of greasy and sleazy. Like, I don't like him. If you don't like him, you're not going to trust him. Totally. Like, you have to find someone. And I even did this.

Like Winston and I first got married. And again, I grew up with this stuff like in my household, right? Right. But I still sat down with our investment guy and I was like, teach me. I want to learn. And I made them like right like a, you kind of basically draw me a picture at one point to like show me this graph of like how something works. But do it ask questions. Don't feel stupid because you may feel stupid, but don't.

And find someone that's willing to teach you because if they're not get out, find someone that is. I agree. So that was going to be, we'll make this the last question because and it can be from me. but I was going to ask how do you trust somebody because I find that even when people seem to have a heart of gold and they want to teach you I still feel like I can't trust them really yeah and and I would say

I don't go about it some people in that world are paid off commissions some people aren't that doesn't that doesn't because I'm like listen if I'm making a ton of money and you get a small cut of it like that's not going to make me mad but if you're like getting half you know what I mean like you're going to figure out and ask questions and be like okay does that feel right but it's going to be the person it really is like when you walk in

most of people have a pretty good detection of anyone. Like even if you go out to dinner with like a new couple that you guys have met and you sit down and you're like, oh, they're kind of gross. Right. You know, no, you mean like you? Trust your intuition. Do you? Seriously. Like, and so I would say that, just see how you interact with them.

And then the teacher part. That's the big one. If they're willing to sit down and teach you because if they're not, they're probably just in it for the money. So like sit down. And so if you actually go to Dave Ramsey.com, we have smart vester pros where we actually recommend people that do this like all over the country. So you can type in your zip code, pull up a name there, and go talk to them. But even if you don't like them, hopefully you do because they've been vetted through this whole process.

But go find someone. Just find someone that you trust. It's like finding a therapist. Seriously. Yes. You're not going to. And see if you like them as a person, too. I mean, you're trusting them with your money that you've worked for.

You've set in traffic and dealt with a jerky box. Like, you've done a lot to earn this money. Right. So, do have, you know, make sure that's someone that's doing wisely. I love that you have all these tools and ways for people to, like, tell me everywhere people can go. I know you've already said, Dave Ramsey.com, Rachelcruise.com. Yes. Yeah, that, I mean, that you'll find endless resources, obviously.

Okay. In that way. But, yeah, so I have the Rachel Cruz show on YouTube and Facebook. And so you can watch that. I always have guests on. We do people's stories, walk through plans, all of that. And then the podcast, the Rachel Cruise Show podcast. And it actually just launched a contentment journal.

So it's a 90 day I actually brought you one So it's out there But it's a 90 day Guided Journal about Contentment Because contentment We didn't really talk

about it here today But like A huge part of winning financially is being content Like when you're not content It's very hard to win with money Because you're just kind of back To that rat in a wheel

conversation Like you're just going going So contentment's a huge piece So you can check that out Anywhere books are sold Really? Oh that's so cool And you brought me one thank you

That's so cool I just love what you do And I think it's just going to be So helpful to everyone listening And you have Instagram as well I do, yes, yep Instagram, Facebook, Twitter

at Rachel Cruz Okay, yep Perfect. Well, thank you so much for being on today Thanks, Caitlin, thanks for having me on. It was so fun. At the time I went by so fast

and I learned so much It was a very productive morning. I'm so glad. And I didn't even need to drink wine. See, there you go. You got your coffee. Yeah. Wow, I'm just going to walk out of here

with my head held high today. I know. When this baby comes out, we'll have a glass of sham. Yes, absolutely. Mutual funds. Hey, you know what I'm into it. I'm kidding.

The other night, I was watching Jeopardy and doing a puzzle. I was like, okay? Isn't that just the best life? I love it. That's a good life right there. I absolutely love it. Anyways, thank you so much. I'm Caitlin Bristow.

I'll see you next Tuesday. Thanks for listening to Off the Vine with Caitlin Briscoe. Get new episodes every Tuesday exclusively on podcast1.com, the Podcast One app and subscribe on Apple Podcasts. Who's done with OTV? Sponsors for this week's Off the Vine are dull. crafted smoothie blends find them now in your frozen aisle blue diamond almonds crave victoriously quip go to get quip.com slash vine to get your first refill pack free sofi check your rate in two minutes on sophy.com slash vine and home depot use promo code vine home depot at checkout to save up to 10%

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