Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - The Lo VonRumpf Custody Agreement Episode

Episode Date: August 15, 2023

Is the pod (AKA Kaitlyn, Lo, and Jason) still alive and well? While Kaitlyn might be grieving, there are other people in her life affected by the recent news and we get to hear from an emotional Lo VonRumpf on today’s episode. But it’s not all tears; there’s lots of laugher per usual as Kaitlyn and Lo chat about the power of a spray tan, aliens coming to probe us, and their favorite Taylor Swift songs after Lo turned into a recent Swiftie. Kaitlyn has a secretly recorded voice note from their recent edible moment and she’s playing it live for the Vinos to enjoy. Turns out, God has favorites. They’re getting into their mental health scores, their current relationships with social media after both taking a step back, and Lo shares a method that helps him with his mindset each and every morning. Lo also shares some questions for him and KB from his followers and we get to hear if they would ever entertain a roomie situation. We love you, Vinos! Watch out for the aliens and flaunt the gray hair if you got it. Stay connected, Vinos! Watch on the Off The Vine YouTube channel  Follow on Instagram @offthevinepodcast  Join Our Off The Vine Facebook Group  Thank you to our sponsors! Check out these deals for the Vinos: BETTERHELP - Give online therapy a try by visiting our sponsor betterhelp.com/VINE and get on your way to being your best self.  ANGI - Your home for everything home.  QUINCE - Right now, go to Quince.com/vine to get free shipping and 365-day returns on your next order.  OAK ESSENTIALS: My vinos get 15% off their first order when you use code VINE at OakEssentials.com.  PROGRESSIVE - Quote your car insurance at Progressive.com to join the over 29 million drivers who trust Progressive. Apartments.com - The place to find a place. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Off the line. Bitches tanned today. Yes. I did the bravest thing I've ever done. Here we go. What is that? I got a spray tan the day that we were putting. out the news of the breakup, like an idiot. And I'm like, so I'm going to have tear streaks all

down my face. I know. I guess we should just straight up. Address the elefonte in the room. The saddest elefonte in the room. It really is. Don't cry. Don't. Don't. Don't. I can't do this anymore. Lo. Lo is taking this harder than anyone. Okay. No, I'm not going to cry. Oh, no. Cheers. Cheers. I get it. It's sad. Yeah, it's really sad. But you know what?

I'm going to be here for both of you and I love you both so much. I could even see us all going for dinner when you're in Nashville together. Like, the pod is not going to die. It's not. No, it's not. It's just going to hit a little different. It might take a minute, but like I've never respected someone more through a breakup than I do with Jason. Yeah.

I know people have been sliding in your DMs and trying to create unnecessary sides. Who's doing that? Like trolls or like supporters? I assume they're supporters and trolls mixed in. They're just random people I don't know that are, will message me and say, who side are you on? Are you going to be more loyal to whose side are you on? See, that's the thing too. It's like, I think people assume if people break up something bad happened.

And I think that's the hardest part of this whole breakup is nothing bad happened. It's just been over time we have both not made each other a priority and this is what happens. And we both are so sad. And we both don't know what the future holds. But this is a necessary move for us right now. But I've never loved and respected somebody more through a breakup. Should we tell them the truth? That you're trying to parent trap us back together. I want to parent trap you so bad. What's the truth? Well, I was thinking like a good like curveball would be like, the truth is Caitlin and I, little Judy and I have been. We've been fucking Ever since I got this beard

Yeah, you've just butching it up And I've been wanting to sit on your face I'm just railing her Oh my God I'm gonna throw up I've had sex dreams about you though But we've never done anything actually though But was it good?

It was incredible We were laughing the whole time Fireworks Yeah fireworks You're laughing Oh but yeah When it comes to the relationship Yeah, there are no sides and there isn't a villain in it.

No. And that's the thing. So I know people struggle with that because it's easier to understand when there's someone at fault, for example. But that's not the case here. Somebody told me there is like a Reddit article. Of course, you know, I don't read them, but a Reddit article about like who gets cat and worth. And I'm like, first of all, that is my godson, okay? So they are family and they are, worth is going on a trip with Jason at the end of the month.

I'm there every nothing's going to change like that people do not have to pick sides it whether you're a friend family the internet like our son low you don't have to choose sides root for us both to be happy and grow and learn and there's no sides yeah there's mutual love and respect and with you and jason too there's it's not contentious it's sad because it's sad we are both so sad yeah you know it's you think you're going to spend your life with somebody oh no no don't we're not doing okay fine we're moving on because I don't want to say you're a cry it's just hard it's really hard because it's I mean oh thank you tissues because we're grieving a loss yeah now I'm just like Jason lives down the street and what and then I'm going to see him because we're going to share the dogs and yeah but I can't like be with him in the way that I'm used to and it's probably so confusing for people because they're like why aren't you just together then. Like, if people can just trust in what we're doing and where our hearts are and be supportive.

Yeah. And I mean, there's something to say that some people, they do actually grow apart. Yeah. Yeah. It happens. And it's better to, you know, maybe, maybe in a six months for now, we go, yeah, this was the right move. And maybe in six months, we go, you know what? I want to choose you.

But we haven't been choosing each other. Now. We haven't. I do need to choose myself and I want him to choose himself and that's what we've been doing anyways and if the right person is going to choose each other, you're going to prioritize each other and we just haven't been. Also, I couldn't believe that when I landed, there was paparazzi because I thank God I had a high pony and a little glam done because I was not expecting that at all.

I don't remember last time about paparazzi has even, well, I do remember actually it was because I was with Tasha and they really wanted a photo of her. Oh, yeah. I was just like, and I'm Judy. But it was just so crazy because I felt violated. I felt violated because I wasn't expecting it and because they started talking about my sexuality. Like, are you going to date a woman now? You came out as a bye.

Oh, yeah, that's right. And I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. It's literally been 24 hours and you're asking if I'm going to start dating somebody. Portia de Rossi over here. I'm just, I'm Gabby. Let's talk about Gabby. Oh, I love Gabby. I'm so happy for her.

I've always been able to tell, I did not see this coming, but I've always been able to tell that Gabby is attracted to energy. And that's how I am. Yeah. I'm attracted to energy. So I don't think she was like, oh, I've always been gay or bye. I think she literally was just like. I'm attracted to this individual. This energy is beautiful.

Yeah, exactly. Let's go for it. She's here. She's queer. She's queer. Yes. Love it. I do.

Absolutely. She announced it on The View, which is controversial. Yeah. The View, I feel like. The Heart of America, watching the View. The Heart of America, but they have, I mean, the view has opinions. So, yeah. Anyways, but did you ever get a vibe?

Lesbiana vibe? No, from get, but I, I agree with you. I think she's a free spirit and she's more into the energy of someone. Totally. She wants to be happy and find love and whether it be with a dude or a woman. Yeah. Do you? Do you?

Who cares? Yeah. I love it. Like, I can't wait for the moment where there is no closet to come out of. Right. That you don't even have to have a closet to hide in. yeah i feel you and i think if people just got more comfortable with the idea of gay yeah it's not that we're grooming anyone you know it's just people just being who they are yeah what a novel

idea i do get triggered when i hear people saying like it's a choice i understand conservatives or people that are very religious come from the idea of you are choosing this lifestyle i'm like i didn't choose this lifestyle so when i hear people say it's a choice or whatever that you chose that lifestyle or you can pray the gay away or get closer to God and then you won't love dick. It's just not going to happen that way. And so live in your truth, love who you love, you know what I mean? This episode is brought to you by Better Help. I let my listeners in on almost everything that's going on in my life, which means you guys know I've been through it lately. I'm still going through it. So sometimes in life we're faced with tough choices or we find

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phones are for us. So I'm still off social media, as you know, because you've been hanging out with me for the last 48 hours. But you did that before. And I want to know how your experience was and what your relationship is with social media now. It is a toxic relationship. Yeah. And so I took about a month off, but I was crazy. Yeah, a full 30 days. And then I actually extended it to like, I did 45 days with no, actually not really any internet either. I wasn't watching YouTube videos. No porn? I did do some porn. I did a little porn hub moment. I mean, give yourself a break.

Yeah. A release. Yeah. But no social media, no TikTok, no Twitter or whatever. Everything was off. But here's the thing. What I realized was how much like free time I had. Yeah.

I was so consumed. Yeah. I was like, I, it's a nervous hub. I'm always checking my phone. And so it freed me up. And then I forced myself. I was like, like you, reading books. Yeah.

I did all these great things in my home renovations. And I really focused on me. I was like, I could meditate, work out. I could jack off again. And so I was just. jacking off meditating and I felt so good but like freeing myself and all I allowed was like music you know I still listen to music obviously but no social media apps and it did help my mental health a lot and so now my relationship is not as toxic honestly with social media now I just have boundaries

for myself I only do news cycles two days a week oh yeah yeah Mondays and Fridays I'll know what's happening in the world it's so heavy and so I have to my emotional bandwidth I could only take so much news. So now I just have like healthy boundaries with social media. How I'm going to get there. I was really scared of, you know, media outlets or fake storylines or trolls or the breakup who don't get it. Yes, with the breakup. And I was always so worried about what it was going to be. But if I'm not consuming it, it doesn't matter because those people don't even know me. So not being on social media means that if you have my number, that means I care about you and you care about me and you can text me. I've got nothing but love and support from family, friends, strangers that I run into. I

recorded the Golden Bachelor yesterday and just like the crowd was so supportive. And I know Jason's receiving love from his family, from his friends, from our families together. Like the conversations that we've had between each other's families has just been beautiful. And so not being on social media has really helped. And I'm scared to go back. I think the noise will be gone a bit when I'm back, and then I will be very cautious of what I'm looking at and taking in. Baby steps, too. I just feel like focusing on myself in mental health right now and tuning out the noise is important, but the hard part is I'm still committed to my businesses.

Yeah, it's intertwined. It's actually hard of work. And, like, this is amazing. I love being able to talk to you and talk about feelings. I've had, like, thought out guests on my podcast of how this could be helpful. And, you know, of course, I'm going to continue on with that because I am committed to the podcast, to my wine label. everything. So I have access to my Instagram, but I'm having my podcast producer, Alicia, and my assistant help me out with that right now, just so I still, you know, my team has been really great during this time. And they just, like, they'll send me positive messages. Like, people are saying this and this is really a positive one. And it's just been, I don't know, I'm like so grateful for that. What's your mental health score right now in this very moment? Oh, shit. My mental health score out of 10, like one being one bottom of the barrel. Yeah, let's 5150 her.

Okay. A 10 is euphoric bliss, incredible you feel on top of the world. Okay. I am a five. Okay. Yeah. That's a 50%. It's an F. I'm a five. I'm a freaking sad and sometimes hitting rock bottom and I'm hopeful and I'm proud of myself. Yeah. Yeah. I'm five. A whole mix of emotions. Definitely depends on the hour. But right now, in this moment, maybe a six. Okay. I'll take the six. Okay. Right now in this very moment, I'm going to give myself a lot. I'm going to give myself a lot. I'm going to give myself a lot. I'm a lot. I'm going to give myself a solid six, too. I'm doing okay. Yeah, I'm feeling okay. I thought you're like a two. No, I was yesterday. When the news broke, I was a negative one. I've, it feels like my parents divorcing, truly. I told my mom, I rather my mom and dad get divorced. I rather that, and they've been married 32 years. And I was like, I could handle that one. I guess this is the time to tell everyone that Jason and I stayed together for three years just for low. The last three years. I've just been for I love the holidays, and I love Halloween and our costumes.

But again, I understand why this is going down. I'm supportive. I just want to be here for both of you. And I will say, you know, there's things that I do. When I get into that really dark space where I feel like I'm spiral or just get really sad, have you heard of the 5-4-3-2-1 method? It's 15 minutes that you can give yourself every day. This could help people listening right now who struggle with depression.

How do I not know this? I think we've talked about it before. Oh, tell me again. But you have a lot on your mind. A lot going on. My memory's sick. I went through a really dark phase when I had a massive loss. And so sometimes it was hard for me to even get out of bed.

I was feeling so depressed. And yeah, it was just some days I just feel triggered and downward spiral. And so I was like, what can I do? I was going to therapy. That helped. But that's where I went over this 15-minute method because you have 24 hours in a day or 12 hours by the time you get up. But you wake up in the morning and it says if you do this, this 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. So it's five minutes of meditation.

Okay. Just five minutes. Just clear your mind. Give yourself some meditation. Not trying to, actually not clearing your mind. Just calming your mind. Yeah, calming your mind. Yeah, you need to clear it.

Four minutes of reading, anything. A book, a chapter of something. Four minutes. I do like four hours of reading. Oh, yeah. I mean, baby steps. I was really struggling here. Okay.

I can barely get out of bed. I've looked like the penguin in Batman. Just with four minutes low, really? Yeah. Four minutes of reading. So whether it's four minutes or any article, news article. a book, anything, you can read recipes, just four minutes of devoted to reading.

For people who don't read, though, that's a lot. That's true. That's true. Three minutes of dancing. Put on a song. Put on your favorite banger. I've been doing that. Yeah. Have a three minute song. Have a good dance moment. Two minutes of breathwork. Inhale, exhale. Two minutes of that. And then one minute of just writing down some gratitude points. Perfect. Like a few things for one minute, set the clock and just gratitude. What can you think of in one minute? That's how everybody should wake up. That is 15 minutes equals 15. of just pure joy that you're selfishly giving to yourself every day. Wow. And if you can give yourself at least that 15 minutes, it's a win. You're giving yourself a win.

Even if you're in the darkness, you're giving yourself 15 minutes of light. And those 15 minutes of joy saves me. And people scroll for hours and you can just take 15 minutes for yourself. Yeah. Give that to yourself. I love that, low. Oh, thanks. I'm really glad you shared that.

I feel like people will really, everybody should write that down. Yeah, I'll post it for people. Yeah. Yeah. Collab with OTV. We'll post it. Yeah. Because it is a game changer. And again, if you're at the bottom of the barrel, just feeling just completely helpless. And I mean, I've been there. You've been there. Little Judy. Depression is real. Depression is real. You know what's good for depression also is a five milligram of edibles and a laugh with you. We laughed the other night so hard that I actually had sore abs the next day. And at one point, I was scared for how hard I was laughing. because I thought I maybe couldn't breathe.

I know. Like I was like, maybe I won't stop laughing and I will die of like a laugh attack. What's so crazy is the ability for you and I to have a complete meltdown in front of one another. And also on the other side, flip side, laugh till we're going to black out. I did black out from laughing. I started seeing stars from laughing so hard. Five milligrams of an edible and some smart pop. We're ready to go.

I honestly, I have a voice note. from that night. Wait, what? Yeah. You recorded me. Recorded us. Yeah, always naked. Always naked.

There's just something about taking my clothes off where I all of a sudden just feel way better about myself. This guy is somewhere in such a little cage that like any time, anytime you see a cat, you literally late you're so excited for a cat on TV like you've never seen a commercial before it was like a fancy feast commercial you're like oh my god look at that talking cat holy shit god has favorites

okay wait no it wasn't cat it was a fancy feast commercial it was a peanut butter commercial it was ludicrous trying to eat peanut butter yeah and then he was wrapping and a peanut butter when it was on its mouth and he was like,

I thought it was going to know and I was like, brilliant. That course. And then there was a cat commercial and then I went, I want peanut butter. And then I went,

oh no, I want a cat. Yeah. Oh, God. No, we go into the trenches together, into the weeds. I know.

And laugh about the most random shit. And I was just laughing about you. Oh, with the power of a spray tan. Yeah. Full circle. Yes. You had a spray tan. Yes.

But I, too, it's a confidence boost. It's a mental health upgrade. It looks like I immediately, I look like I have more abs. Oh, that's what brought it up. We were talking, okay, that night. You were like, sometimes I need to channel my inner Caitlin breasthead and just put my nipple ring and get a spray tan and go.

Yeah, because I remember seeing you in Nashville and you were feeling like shit and you're like not in the best headspace and you weren't having a good day or whatever. And then Jason and I were sitting in the kitchen talking and then you had a spray tan and you come out, tits out, butt naked, nipple ring, ready to go. Shoulders back. Shoulders back, high ponytail, dripping in a fresh spray tan. And with so much confidence, went into the kitchen, make yourself a sandwich. I was like, yeah, got yourself some little smart sweets.

Yeah. And you were like, gave us the big, fuck you. And then went back to your honor. And I was like, you guys could just shut up. And I just tits out went and made myself a sandwich and called it a day. I love it. With the power of a spray tan, gave you confidence. And I was like, I need to channel that in my life.

I tell you what, sometimes I'm so confident where I'm like, I'm awesome. I am so funny. I've got such a big heart. I'm beautiful. I love a blind confident queen. But then other days, I'm like, ew, you're discussing. I know. I hate it.

Like, what? I mean, that's when your alter ego, dysmorphia comes out once in a while. Dysmorphia is a real fucking thing. Yeah, I know. Holy shit. Have you been working on it though? I work on it every day of my life. baby. I work on it every day in my life. I really do. That's another thing. The dysmorphia,

I feel like, is as kicked into overdrive, when you are on social media, because we're comparing everything to everybody in the world. And you're looking at different people and social media influencers and what they're wearing. But I'm starting to understand that side of it. I'm starting to understand that whatever picture I saw, whatever perfect thing that I could do that too if I had this angle and this filter and this we can all do it yeah you can look like the Kardashians too if you had millions and shmillions of dollars to put into your looks yeah for now I can just afford some Botox yeah Botox little filler here and there yeah and microbladed brows shout out to the oh shawnessy bless bless let me Shaughnessy shout out to you queen she does

Carrie Underwood's brows Caitlin's and now my brows and my mom he's incredible yeah I had a little chicken pock scar and it didn't grow right here and so she filled it in with With nanoblating, for anyone who doesn't know nanoblating, microblading is a thicker needle, I believe, and you bleed more. But you shouldn't get microblading if you have oily skin. That's what she told me. She's so knowledgeable because there's so many people out there that are like going through their phase of I shouldn't have microbladed because it turns red and blah, blah, not Shaughnessy. She's the best eyebrow queen out there. Yeah, she knows what she's doing.

But what a confidence boost I have now. Oh, the beard. I got brows. Your beard is crushing. Thank you. No, it's hot. Oh, my God. I needed that.

You weren't sure of it because you were like, are you on the verge of a mentee beast. Yeah, I was worried at first because it, like, was just starting to come in and you look like you were just like, I was like, insane asylum. I was like, it's giving, um, you're not well. Yeah. Um, but now I'm like, oh, it's like manicured. I cleaned it. It's clean. I love it.

I love facial hair. Thank you for that. Yeah. I'm happy with that. What about if you had a little gray in there? That'd be hot too. I'm not there yet. Okay.

So. Well, I'm only saying that because I am getting so great. Are you? Oh, my hairstylist. He was coloring my hair and he goes, oh, girl, your hair. You're grayes are popping. I was like, okay. Would you ever let it go completely gray?

I'll tell you what. I saw this gray goddess on the Golden Bachelor last night. Yeah. She looked like a Greek goddess and she had the most beautiful gray hair. She inspired the shit out of me. Actually, all those older women inspired me last night. Everybody watched The Golden Bachelor. I think it's going to be like a feel good show.

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I wasn't a Swiftie. Tell me. Tell me. I turned you straight and into a Swifty. Sure did. I was into chicks. And love some Swifty after spending time with you. You introduced me to the Midnight's album when I was in Nashville with you.

And that's when I had kind of dropped, I think, around that time. And so I like that album. And I like her big hits. Here's the thing. On the Taylor, the Swift spectrum, if you will. Where are you at? A one is like not a fan at all. Ten is a fandom Swifty.

Like collecting her rainwater if it rains at her concert. Yes. Yeah. And I would say I'm like, I was a solid three, four. I knew her big hits, the bangers. And that was the extent of my Taylor Swift relationship. Yeah. Then I went to her concert, and I was like, oh, my, this blew my mind.

It turned me into an actual Swifty. I've never seen that kind of pandemonium and that kind of audience since the late great Michael Jackson, but I haven't seen that kind of fan base since Michael, where people, like, fainting, people are losing it. And I was like, that is really impressive. But also, so, like, I look at Taylor Swift in a whole new light now. As a business queen, like, it's very intentional what she's doing. Oh, she is, she knows exactly what she's doing.

Yeah. And it's, it's inspiring because she is a businesswoman, but she's also being like just herself up there. Like, she tries to be sexy and it's kind of funny. And then you're like, oh, wait, is she sexy? And then she like trips and does like a little quirky thing. And you're like, oh, Taylor. Yeah. Oh, Taylor.

It's crazy what these concerts have become. Yeah. It's like a thing. There's bracelets. The movement. It's a movement. Yeah. And she's just making billions.

Literally 14 million after every show. She has over, I think, 2.1 billion in revenue. by the end of August, but $14,000, and she has 147 shows that she's done. So it's a lot of money. She's loaded. Did you know that five years ago, a 15-year-old fan screamed one, two, three, let's go, bitch during the song Delicate. And now millions of people are doing it at her era's tour. Oh, that became a thing.

It's like a trend. Oh, that's cool from one fan who got excited. I want to be Taylor. And I want to just have Swifties and I want to have them over. No, Caitlin, this is what we talked about with the media. We don't let everybody in our house. Okay. Let them in.

Bake them cookies like Taylor did. Yeah, and a friendship bracelets. Oh, yeah. I didn't get the memo on the friendship bracelets. I went to the concert. I was dressed like Britney Spears, circa 2000, had an all denim outfit on. And I loved the concert. Oh, her surprise song.

You were asking me, what's the surprise song? I want to save it for the podcast. What? I was maroon. Oh. I know. On the piano with a burgundy dress. That's my favorite song.

Same. I know. I love that. You and I both have the same favorites. Winder Hayes, maroon, and delicate. Oh. And so she played that one. And then the other one, I wasn't familiar with the other song, but just how connected

the audience was. Also, I was shocked how intimate it felt, even though it was 75,000 people in the stadium. And so I'm just really impressed by her. And I know the media shits on her, like they will shit on you too, Little Judy. They're unfair to women. Oh, God. Which I hate. But, um, but, um, but now I'm, I'm fully drinking the Taylor Swift Kool-Lade.

Oh, I'm drinking out. I'm putting in my veins. Yeah. She's, hit me with Taylor Swift. music right here. She's an incredible artist and yeah, I love what she's doing and so I'm a Swifty now. I went into the concert being like, I wish I was going to Beyonce because I never thought Taylor Swift was like a fashion girl.

I never looked at her like that. Just as a stylist. Yeah, yeah. For anyone, I'm a stylist in fashion. So I never saw Taylor in that light, but now I get it. Like her little sparkly leotards when she goes out with her little boots. Oh, I know. It's everything.

But it's also attainable. Get yourself a bedazzler and a body suit from Madewell and you got yourself a Taylor outfit work it's attainable and i think like her fans connect with her on that it was anyway i loved it and the gowns it's it's a life-changing experience for those who don't know uh she also gave her truck drivers a hundred thousand dollar bonuses oh yeah can you believe she treats her people really well that's the other thing by taylor's dad wow yeah yeah i think i was never a swiftie at first because she was like this curly-haired girl from nashville and i knew she came from wealth and so i was like oh she comes from money and back then i used to be a bit of a judge judy and if someone

came for money. I was like, I like a come-up story. Yeah. But it doesn't, like, that doesn't mean anything. Like, if you come from wealth, you could still be an incredible person and philanthropic and give back. But I had that trope of like, you're not if you come from money. But anyway, she's richer than Midas now, and she's still extremely generous. And I love that. Garth Brooks is the same way. Yeah. It's, and I think she's the real deal. This industry is really small and I've never heard a bad thing about Taylor Swift. Even when the media says shit about her. Yeah, she's still just a little angel pie because you can yeah the media will say anything twist anything make anyone look bad they can do

whatever they they can really do whatever they want oh yeah um let's talk about aliens okay they're coming for us no i feel like this should be a lot bigger of a deal but like none of us really care and it's freaking me up but the government announced that they have possession of non-human matter and UFOs and we're like okay cool story bro i am ready for the aliens to come earth is i'm done with earth but what are the aliens take me away aliens Aliens are... Probe me. I feel like the aliens are AI.

What? Artificial intelligence? Yeah. Sure. Superior intelligence. Oh, you think they're here on Earth already? Yeah. Oh, I don't believe that.

Oh, yeah. Just kidding. You're like, oh, they're here. I don't know. My brain goes... I feel high right now. I'm like, what I... Because it's getting hot in here.

You think they're not here yet. I think they've visited. I think they've been visiting. And, but I don't think they're, like, walking amongst us, like, hidden within people or whatever. Do you think they look like humans? No, I don't. I think they look. I don't know what they're like. I just picture this like round on top into a point with two big black eyes and little bodies like the, yeah, like the Martian that we see like commercialized Martian. Yeah, like E. T. Oh, E.T's cute. I picture him being a little bit more like alien the movie. Like did you ever see alien or species? Alien was Sigourney Reaver. Yeah, she's in that. Oh, that movie will fuck you up. It is so wild. I mean, it came out a long time ago, but it's a scary. looking aliens scary but I do believe in aliens I was shocked to know that a lot of people don't I asked on Instagram I did a poll because I look at it like in this universe like I can't be that self-absorbed like to think that like we're truly the only life form in this universe

there's absolutely no way we don't know we don't know we don't know what people happening in our oceans we're 80% water on earth and we don't even know what the hell's going on in the deep deeps like we haven't been able to explore all of that maybe people even live under the sea. Like, what if they live under? I do think there might be some alien life maybe. Holy shit. Depths. Because we have no idea. That actually helps me go through tough times, too, where I'm just like, you don't actually matter. Yeah. When you really think about the universe and how vast it is and how there's other species and whatever. Yeah. Like, yeah, we're just little microscopic little pieces of shit. You know, just floating around in this planet Earth. Yeah. We're just floating meat suits.

Yeah, but there is other life out there. But how cool that we have souls and we have, like, this energy and the people are starting to crack the code of manifesting and visualizing, and we're all just like entering this new realm. I do believe in souls. I know some people don't, but I do believe that we have souls. Totally believe it. Yeah. Well, and I felt energy from people. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. It's kind of crazy. I know there's people out there that believe when you die, it's just like a piece of meat. And there's no soul. Just rots. Yeah. But there's no afterlife or I do believe in that. There's a hundred percent.

Okay. There's, in my brain, there's an afterlife. And I feel like time doesn't exist there. And I feel like it's like, it's just on a different vibration, but like. Like your spirit. Yeah. Yeah. Isn't it kind of, no, this is dark.

Not necessarily heaven. It's a little exciting to see what's on the other shit. I cannot wait to die. Like, I want to die. Like, I want to die when I'm like 105. Really? Okay. I would like to live the longest life possible. I love that for you.

I'll find out tomorrow my breast exam. Oh, yeah. God, that's tomorrow morning. Knock on wood, fingers, toes, legs crossed that. Everything's okay. That is a scariest thing. So I had a mammogram and you actually don't, like they say, you know, if it doesn't run in the family, you don't really need to until like 40.

But I'm 38 and I didn't feel anything. But my cleaning lady was like, please get a mammogram. I'm like, please. And I was like, now this is scary me because I'm like, is there a reason? Did she come into my life for a reason? And now she's telling me because then I went and I got it. And I was like, all right, check you later. Thanks for squishing the old pitties.

And then I get a call and they're like, hey, we found something in your right breast. You need to come back in for an ultrasound. But it didn't sound urgent and it wasn't like we need to do a biopsy. We need to remove something. It was more like, we're just taking extra precaution. It could be just extra tissue or whatever. and I'm like, I'm dying. No, I mean, I know.

I do the same thing, too. I get it. But no, I think everything should be okay. Fingers crossed them. Let me know. Let us all know. Okay. I have to go get my prostate checked.

Yeah. Do that always. Yeah. And also you should get your, um, colon? Yeah. Okay. I should, I have a colon cancer that runs in our family. And you haven't got your colon checked?

No. And I love anal. And so, you know, there's a lot happening there. I need to go get that checked out. Well, I'm going to make sure you do. I'm holding you accountable. We can go together. I'm not feeling well that day.

Could we go get colonics together? Sure. There's a, you look, down for everything. Sure. Breakup, Caitlin is down for everything. Yeah. Colonics, coffee, it's a caffeine colonics.

Sure. I've had it done before. What does that do for people? Well, I felt invigorated after, but it just, it's supposed for like detoxing, purification. I don't know. It's very holistic. I did it. I don't mind to tube up my ass.

It's tiny. I've had bigger things. You could. No, no, no, no, no, no. It's a tiny little straw, like, it's the circumference of a straw. I couldn't even fit a wet noodle up there. I know you could. You definitely could.

And I know in my dream, you have. You'll be fine. Oh, God. You just got to breathe, relax, and a lot of lube, and you'll be fine. Give me, I know you did an Instagram. Q and A. Oh, yes. We have, we have three minutes to answer a couple questions or if you have a confession. I don't, I don't have a confession. Okay. Okay. Okay, here we go, here we go. Oh, a lot of love and support for you. I pose the question on Instagram, anything for KB and I, and it's just an outpouring

of love for you. I do want to say to people that are listening or watching, I do want to say thank you for everyone just being like totally loving and supportive and understanding for those who are because I know you're out there, and I'm trying to not pay attention to the 3% of bullshit and really have gratitude for people who are holding space for me. So thank you for that. Okay. Question is, would you and KB ever lived together? Mm-mm.

Okay. What the f— Oh, rude. I only said that to see your reaction. Hateful. We have lived together. I know. I could totally live with you as long as I knew I had a lone time.

With me? That's how I— No. That's how I recharge. I thought you meant like, as long as we have alone time, like together as a couple. No, no, no. I would spend a lot of time with you, but I would need to be alone at times. Same.

Okay. We're both introverted extroverts and we could live together. We did 750 square foot apartment with two mountain line dogs from South Korea. And I didn't hate you once. No. Jason, you, myself, and the two dogs, by the way, people are like, why are you taking it so hard? I think living with someone in the pandemic and getting so close and it, like, that was part of it. We're a pod.

We literally call ourselves the pod. And I refuse to think that that's. going to go away. We will always remain friends. Yeah. Oh, I agree. Okay, so that's cute. Just not even questions. How do you feel about mushrooms? That's a question. I love them. Like at the grocery store? Are we talking about portobello or psilocybin? Both. Big diff. Yeah, big diff. And I'm a big advocate for mushrooms. Yeah, love them all. If you're doing it in a safe environment and you're not hallucinating and getting, even if you are, go, you know what? Why don't yuck you're yum? As someone who struggled with depression, I started microdosing, five milligrams. You can still

function, live your best life. I did it with a doctor, a holistic doctor. It's legal in Vancouver to have mushrooms. It's not here in the States. Really? I'm going there soon. Great. Oh, get some mushrooms. They're amazing. But I've had some incredible experiences. I'm a big advocate for mushrooms. I think it's, yeah, very helpful. I'm not taking. I'm not taking Xanax. I'm off antidepressants because of microdose. Oh, I'm never going off my antidepressants, ever. You say that. You might like a little microdose. is my bitch sponsor selects that click the link below no don't go in medicine if you don't want to but yeah big believer yeah it works for a lot of people i get it um but i had the suicidal thoughts after

xanax so i i wanted to get off of zanx because i was don't do that yeah yeah so it didn't work for me and i needed to find something that helped and so micro dosage was the route for me and the five four three two one and the five yeah yeah my god that's i'm taking that away from this podcast. Um, this was so fun. Are we, no. Yeah, we're done. No. Yeah. What, what else did you want to talk about? We have literally 30 seconds. I want to just say that I love you. I love you. I love you so much. No sides. There's no sides. But if you're going to pick one, pick mine. Oh. Just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I can't do this anymore. I love you. I love you too. Thank you for all of your support. Always, always, always here to

support you and love you unconditionally. Every step of the way, whatever phase you are in life and You're like that for me, too. You're my best friend. Ride or die, bitch. Ride or die. All right. Okay. Bye.

I'm Caitlin Bristow. I'll see you next Tuesday. You're next Tuesday. Stream the biggest blockbusters this summer with popcorn summer with popcorn summer movies on Pluto TV, indulge in hilarious rom-coms like The Backup Plan, or delve into award-winning dramas like Forrest Dump and Minari, with thousands of other free movies. Pluto TV has something for everyone.

Available on live TV and on demand. Download Pluto TV on all your favorite devices and start streaming now. Hey, y'all, it's Savannah Crissly, and I've got a new podcast titled Unlocked. We're creating a space for people to truly be vulnerable. You're used to seeing me having to have this picture perfect bow on the life that I live. And frankly, that's not who I am. I'm a little wild. I'm a little crazy. And I love really, really hard. I really hope that you'll join me every Tuesday as I bring on friends, family, and some guests that I'm pretty sure you're going to recognize. Listen and follow Unlocked now on Apple Podcasts.

Spotify, Amazon Music, YouTube, or your favorite podcast app.