Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Trevor Wallace | The Comedian Taking the Internet by Storm and Our Completely Unhinged Riffs!

Episode Date: January 20, 2026

#912. This week on Off the Vine, Kaitlyn is joined by stand-up comedian and internet funny guy Trevor Wallace—aka the man who perfectly captures modern bro culture, White Claw energy, and those unhinged thoughts we all have but usually keep to ourselves. He’s wildly funny, wildly self-aware, and somehow turned it all into a full-blown career.Trevor talks about starting stand-up at 17 with zero backup plan, the viral videos the internet refuses to forget, the cease-and-desist that changed everything, and the beautifully chaotic Notes app where his funniest ideas are born. They get into dating, random celebrity airplane encounters, their shared misophonia struggle, and just riff off each other nonstop the entire episode. You’re gonna laugh. You might gasp. You’re absolutely gonna text someone about it.Listen or watch now!If you’re LOVING this podcast, please follow and leave a rating and review below! PLUS, FOLLOW OUR PODCAST INSTAGRAM HERE!Thank you to our Sponsors! Check out these deals!Covergirl: Go the distance with COVERGIRL’s new Eye Enhancer Wrap Tubing Mascara for a lash extension effect. Shop at your nearest retailer now. Only from Easy, Breezy, Beautiful COVERGIRL.comBombas: Head over to Bombas.com/VINE and use code VINE for 20% off your first purchase.Pura: Right now, you can get a free Pura 4 home diffuser when you subscribe for 12 months. This offer won’t last. Get your free diffuser at Pura.com.Progressive: Visit Progressive.com to see if you could save on car insurance!EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS: (12:25) — Tried stand-up at 17… immediately decided this was the plan (there was no Plan B)(27:00) — The videos that changed everythin, iincluding the one that earned him a cease-and-desist!!(42:30) — Trevor gets real about his dating life.(57:08) — If he could roast anyone in the world… this is who he picks!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This episode of Off the Vine is brought to you by Cover Girl. Go the distance with Cover Girl's new eye enhancer wrap tubing mascara for a lash extension effect. Shop at your nearest retailer now only from easy, breezy, beautiful covergirl. Bombuz, head over to BombBuzz.com slash vine and use code Vine for 20% off your first purchase. Pura, right now you can get a free Pura for home diffuser when you subscribe for 12 months. Now this offer won't last, so get your free diffuser at Pura.com. And Progressive. Visit progressive.com to see if you could save on car insurance. You're listening to Off the Vine with Caitlin Bristow.

Hey, Vino's, real quick, if you are listening right now, which obviously you are or you wouldn't be hearing this, can you hit the subscribe or follow button on whatever platform you're on? Please, that one simple thing helps more than you even realize it allows me to keep growing on this podcast and making these episodes the best they can possibly be obviously for you. That's the only favorite I'm going to ever ask, okay? It truly means the world to me. Thank you. Now let's get into it.

Hey, everybody, welcome to Off the Vine. I'm your host, Caitlin Brissot. Today we have the hilarious Trevor Wallace on the pod. I'm sure you've seen his viral videos. He always shows up on my for you page. And he is so painfully accurate with all of his characters and videos and everything that he does. He's a stand-up comedian. He's a writer.

He is an actor. He absolutely kills it on stage with his stand-up. And today he is here for all the giggles on my podcast. So please welcome Trevor Wallace. I once sat next to Vince Vaughn on a flight. Oh shit. And that's all I could think about. I didn't say anything, but same situation.

It was me, I'll and him. And I like, in my head, I'm like, Vince Vaughn and since Von. Like I would go back to editing. I'm working on like, like, I'm Vince Vaughn. Like it's all I could think about. And I didn't say anything. Were you editing like a funny video and you're like secretly like. Here's my screenplay.

But like, you know he would probably hate that. But I don't know. I lived in Vancouver for 11 years. Oh, wow. And I was also at the 2010 Winter Olympics game between like Canada and the U.S. and Canada won. And so I was like, wow, Vince Vaughn is there and I love comedy. Like I quote Vince Vaughn probably every day of my life.

And he was there. And then Sidney Crosby is like, I would hit that so fast. I'd blow up my life for Sidney Crosby because I'm Canadian and I don't do anything. for hockey players. Yeah, that's like you should have a hall pass for Canadians and then also just for Americans. Yeah. Like global hall passes. You think so?

Sure. Also, it's funny when like a girl will tell me like after show, she's like, you're me and my husband's hall pass. I'm like, shoot higher. Yeah. That's so attainable. You can make it happen right now. That only happened once to me and I was like, wow, really once, huh? Yeah.

Like some girl came out to me in the line of my podcast like live show and they're like, you're my husband's hall pass. I was like, thank God. I have one. One person in like the 10 years that I've been doing this, a guy, I was a guy's hall pass. Really? Yeah, I don't know. For some reason, I feel like if a girl has a hall pass versus a guy as a hall pass, it's

like wildly different. Like, a girl should have a hall pass. Like, yeah, that's your guy, right? Yeah. But when a guy has one, that's like really like, oh, this is a podcast I listen to it weekly. It's like, oh, you, you're already dating her without her knowing it. That's fair. Do you, like I met my hall pass.

Really? Yes. Okay. He definitely did not want to be bothered. And like I just said, I feel very uncomfortable going up to anyone. Yeah. But Paul Rudd, everyone that listens to this podcast knows for like 10 years that Paul Rudd is my hall pass. Yeah.

And you never think you're going to run into your hall pass unless you like go to like. Especially you're like, I'm not even shaving. I'm not even ready. I would have done an everything shower for you, Paul. I would have done an everything shower for sure. I would have done a lot of things. And I was like it was the Super Bowl weekend. I had pink hair at the time.

thought it would be fun. I was like, I'll have pink hair for two days. And that's the day I run into Paul Rudd, who is like, I feel like he's like funny, but still a mature king. And he just wanted to eat the breakfast buffet at the hotel. And I was like, hotel breakfast buffet? Yes. That's not Hall Pass.

That could tee it up for later. Sure. And I could have approached it that way just to like give him a look or be like, I'm also staying at this hotel. That's it. but I went up to him when he like had his head down oh I still cringe at myself and I was like you're my hall pass you said that too yeah it was the first thing that came out of my mouth and I'm I lose sleep over it still what did he say back he just oh and I was like that was weird uh and then I was like

I'm literally eating granola he hadn't even gotten to the granola yet oh you did it early you did it like the cereal section walked in and I I I do you say sped bed walked. I speedwalked. Stocked. It sounds like stocked in this scenario. Sorry, that's. I stalked him by the orange years. I pronounced it wrong. I pronounced it wrong. I stocked him as he walked in. And I, I just lost all control. It was stronger than me. And I said, you're my whole pass. And he went, oh. And I went, then I thought I could make up for it by being like, I was on TV

once like 10 years ago. And I was like, I don't know if you watched the bedroom. But I was. And then I just stopped myself and I went, this is awkward. Yeah, nothing you can say after a fumble like that. will ever be able to recover. No, and I like to think I'm cool and I wasn't cool. And then I just said, and I, then I had the nerve to ask for a photo. And he had every right to be like, no. And he was like, sure.

And I was like, oh my God. Okay. Do you still have the photo? Yeah, I still have the photo. Pop it up right here. And enter the clip. And I, he was so kind. And I just went, I'm going to leave you alone now.

I'm going to go fuck myself. And I walked away. Yeah. And, uh, you're your own whole pass. Yeah. And then I did a little. that that night to myself, not Paul Rudd. Or to the thought of him.

No, it was Paul Rudd. Oh, nice, nice. I was just trying to cover for being weird. But anyways. I'm, yeah, I love that. I love how Vince Vaughn sitting next to you on a plane just went to me masturbating to Paul Rudd by myself. I'm going to do the same thing tonight.

So I don't know. To this? Paul. Oh. Paul Rudd. Yeah, there is that instinctive thing in you where you see somebody who you know and you're like, I need to tell them. I need to tell them.

And I think not talking to Vince Vaughn made me realize you don't. Yeah. I'll settle with like a head nod or like it. It's like I know I, you know, I'm keeping it. That's what I do with most people. That's kind of what I did with Theo Vaughn. I just gave him the and I felt cool. Yeah.

Also, my whole point of this was to tell you that I was at the bar that night in Vancouver and Vince Vaughn and Sidney Crosby walked into the bar together. Oh. And I played a cool. I didn't say a word. And you looked at them, you said, I'll be both. You guys haul past. I will let you both take it from both ends.

Caitlin, why do I do this? You're in Vancouver, but we can go to Paris tonight. But I was a ho in my 20s, and I probably did think that. Oh, okay. I'm 40 now. So I'm. Where are you out on the hoe scale? I'm like a one.

Like I don't eat. I hate. At a what, though? I actually, 10. Oh, okay. Like I, I'm almost like to the point where I'm like, God, I wish I was a lesbian. I hate men. Like I'm a little gay, but not that gay, to marry a woman, but I wish I was because I hate men, so I'm a one.

Okay. Sorry, that was rude. I have bad news for you. I am a man. Please don't hate me. I don't hate you because I'm not romantically involved with you. I'm out. Yet.

Yet. But I don't like 90% of men. But that's because if you can admit that they're terrible, I would appreciate that. I think everyone's terrible. I don't think it's a man versus women. I think everybody sucks. That's very fair. I was at an airport yesterday.

And I thought the same thing. I just looked around and I went, people are so terrible. But they're the worst at the airport. Oh, absolutely. I know it's cliche to be a comedian and have bits about the airport,

but every single time I fly, there's like a new like, and mother and these people. Yeah. I mean, I wrote one yesterday that I don't know if I can do because it's not nice, but it's...

You're comedian. You can get away with not nice. Yeah. It's like, So I had an aisle seat and I wrote. And, well, I don't know if it's ready. I don't know if this is the pot. I should have done it on Theo's before this.

But it was like, um, large, large man was next to me. Yeah. I'm an, I have an aisle type body. Put me in the aisle. You can climb right over me. Oh, fair. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nothing against his, he was just a large.

He wasn't even like, like, he wasn't overweight. He was just a big guy. Yeah, he just big. And I couldn't like, and he was asleep. He was drinking IPAs. He was like passed out. Oh. And I couldn't.

I couldn't like lunge over him. Yeah. But me in the aisle, you could walk right past me. These, these legs ain't holding anything up. So what you're saying is you fly first. You know, um, he's boozy everybody. You know, I, that's the one thing I will say. I am so busy.

I cannot fly coach anymore. And I will, I'll die on that hill. I will always fly first. I will go into debt to fly first because I just find people less gross. Okay. Unless you're in your situation. Yeah, no. I I I the reason I prefer to fly it's it's it's literally explain yourself to me if you don't want

but the people the people watching the people watching I don't spend a lot like these are thrifted this is Abercrombie I'm a basic bitch right here but it's literally for the outlet situation I plug in a laptop charger in economy seat and that the the thing talking about sluts the outlets on the airplanes are the loosest things in the world you put it you put it in and it heaven forbid you have an apple charger, which is the size of a two pound weight, but you put it and it just slips right out. Yeah. And then I'm editing because I have to do work on a flight for it to, so I don't have to think that I'm flying. And it makes it a time pass by.

So I edit it a lot on flights. So I, like, I'm back and I'm like editing like a T-Rex. And I'm like, this is not, this is not peak. So if I'm sitting in the front, I have a little bit more space and the outlet is usually like right there. So I can plug in and type a way. Totally. Yeah. So Paul Rudd anyways.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I had a thought, actually, but then I got lost in your little rant and I forget what I was going to say. But I will move on to my notes because we haven't even got there yet. Sure. But I wanted to know because I always like to think, if I didn't go on TV, what would my plan have been? And I don't have one. Did you have a plan in life of what you really wanted to do? And was it this or did something change?

Like, did you go to college for something else? And then all of a sudden you're like, oh, I'm a comedian now. The first time I did stand up was 17. So I wasn't even old enough to know what goals were. Yeah. Like where I ended up as best case scenario. Because in high school, I was like smoking weed every day. I was not on a great path.

I was like just taking handfuls of like prescription over the counter medicine just to feel something. Oh, wow. My freshman sophomore in Europe where I just like me and my friends would just, we didn't hang out with women. Where did you grow up? Like an hour outside of Los Angeles. Oh, okay. In Ventura County. Okay.

Does nothing. I thought you were going to say like Arkansas. I don't know why that didn't scream like L.A. No, it was the drugs. Sometimes those random cities, it's like Malibu. Like I grew up probably 30 minutes from Malibu. Yeah. And we would go to like high school parties with Malibu kids.

Those kids are, they're putting fentanyl rim margaritas. Like they're the kids were doing. The first time I ever saw cocaine was at an Oaks Christian party. Oaks Christian is where like all the elite celebrity kids went. Oh shit. So we would get that kind of adds up. Yeah, we would go up the hill to like party with them. Like those are the people that were doing the, the, the,

when you say Christian, I think church. But those, it's like, those are the worst kids. It's whoever had the most restraint from their parents growing up did the worst. It's like, that's why like Texas Christian University, TCU is known as like Texas Coke University. It's like, really? Yeah. The places that have the most like rules makes them only want to do it the most.

That makes why when people break. The rebels. Yeah. When people break Mormonism, they go like zero to 1,000 because they've been so deprived of it. Then now they're like, just my one chance. Look at Taylor Frankie Paul. I don't know who that is, but. Rest in peace.

No. Who's this? Taylor Frankie Paul was a Mormon. Now she's on Mormon wives. And then she like got famous from having a sex scandal. And then she got arrested. Yes. She got arrested now that she's on the secret lives of Mormon wives.

And now she's our next bachelorette. Ugh. Yeah. She's thriving. Well, Mormons are used to having multiple husbands. Or no, sorry. Yes, it is. One guy, multiple wives.

That doesn't add up though. But she's on the bachelor looking for one man. Yes. Are the men Mormon? No. I'm sure they threw a couple in there just for the sake of Mormonism. Circling back. Yeah.

Caught my thought. Caught my thought. Okay. I didn't ever have a plan B of what I wanted to do because I, right. That was the question. I tried Stanford 17 and I just was like, this is what I want to do. Like I don't I don't care if I make $30 a year from doing this. If I can just do this.

I love that. So I wasn't old enough to be like in like a corporate job to be like, God, what's my backup? What's my backup? You just went for it. Yeah. At 17, you can't also get into clubs or can you as a comedian if you're not drinking? Depends. Some could. Where I started stand-up, they had a like a comedy boot camp.

It was like six weeks. And then you perform at the end. So I did that. That's cool. Yeah. So I did that. And then once I was friends with the owner, then he would let me perform there. But other comedy clubs were restricted about it.

Yeah. You're friends with the owner. You were on Vine, weren't you? Mm-hmm. The very talent. So do you know Ariel Vandenberg? Yeah. We were just DMing like two days.

Oh, you were? Okay, she's like one of my best friends. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's so funny because I, my vines were like, I didn't even know you could go viral or be famous on Vine when I was on Vine. I remember I was like, God, it's a really weird thing that I didn't go viral. My videos were my best friend who's a guy. He would like ride his bike and I would ride in the basket of it. And there's a lot of homeless in Vancouver, which I don't.

want people to think I'm an asshole. I actually do a lot of work with homeless in Vancouver, but this one bum wanted to fight me and I caught it on Vine. He was like trying to fight me and I, for some reason, what came out of my mouth was, homie don't play like that. And I was like, now looking back, how did that not go viral? Reupload it. I don't know where it is now. It's still on there. Everyone's vines are still up. What? Yeah. If you, it's, it's not like you go to like vine.com, but like there is like websites where you can like still find people's vines and whatnot. So is there anything that's on the internet right now that you wish for the love of God was gone? Any video I've ever posted? Not for any bad reasons, but there's videos where I was like, okay, I was trying out a format that

wasn't for me. Like there was, I think about this one all the time. The early days of the internet, when you're, before you're like finding what you're like, and not to sound deep at all, because this isn't, but like before you're finding your voice, you're just trying on a bunch of different shoes. And I think I was experimenting with videotypes. And I remember they were like, oh, like, recreating music videos making them like funny was like really big there was this guy bart baker who did he was like the guy and now he's like fully I don't know what happened to him he's an interesting guy look him up on YouTube but he he did a little pump Gucci gang remix and they did like 200 million views or something and I was like oh remixing weird out kind of modern

day weird out yeah and I forget what his was but like I was like oh and then this was around this is before I really had any narrative what my voice was I saw Drake's God's plan was really big. It was massive. I mean, the music video, it told a story. It was heartfelt. And I was like, what if I did dogs plan? And it was me dressed in a dog suit.

Don't play the clip. I will play the clip. It was me. I dressed up in a dog suit. I looked like Wilfred, the TV show. I dressed him in a dog suit. And I had my friend, friends of a friend. This guy literally shot music videos for like rappers.

Shoot a music video style where I was like, I wrote a song to it and everything. And yeah, you know, I did. I was like, post on my store. tomorrow 5 p.m. Like I was like I was hyping it up. Did you have a platform at this point? Barely. Okay. Barely. But but enough to be embarrassed. You know what I mean? Yeah. That I think I deleted that one. That one was not. But it's still floating in the interweb? I don't know. I think I deleted it. But I mean, who I don't care because it's like I was like, I was like trying to learn what my footing was at that point. That's so fair. I'm actually mad that I

deleted something. So I can't remember what year it was. It was like right before I went on the Bachelorette and I was like, I did a music video with this guy named David Lingwood. So Dave Lingwood and three of his buddies did a show called The Buried Life on MTV and they went around the world trying to cross off things on their bucket list doing 100 things that they wanted to do before they die. Yeah. And then they would help other people cross off things that they wanted to do before they die. And I was friends with them because they were from Victoria and I lived in Vancouver and we

had mutual friends and they were like, you need to be on our show. long story short, they literally flew me out, picked me up in their bus. I did a whole music video audition to dance. They cut my episode and replaced it with a blind guy that wanted to ride a cowboy, understandable. And they felt bad for that. So they're like, let's make up for it. We're going to do this music video. It was so bad.

But I wish people saw it because it was like me really trying to be creative. And I feel like it's funny, but like not that funny. It's very embarrassing. But also like the production value that we put into it was very. very impressive. And there's like little clips of it that you can find. But when I came off The Bachelorette, my girlfriend Penny, who is like literally Farrell's right hand man who knows everything about like anything. And she's the smartest woman I know. And she wasn't with him at the time, but she was like, we need to delete that video off the internet. Like swipe it clean from all

things if you're going to be the Bachelorette. Like people are going to find anything on you. And I was like, this is really not that bad. But she was like, it's bad. Take it off. Was it? I wish I could even remember. It was a song called This is Our Fantasy Making It Reality and like... That's too long. I have a title. Agreed. And the guy, David Lingwood, was in like an avatar outfit and I was like really into him. Yeah,

it's not that it was bad. It was just weird. It was just weird. It was just weird. It was just weird. It was just weird. But I honestly like look back because I'm like, that was in my opinion. So funny. I got to do voiceovers. I was singing in it. And it was like really where it all started for me with my drive for content and like... I think music video There's an award at the either Emmys or Oscars, one of those where it's like you drink every time somebody wins who's on like Law and Order or something like. It's something like that.

I'm sorry for bushering it. But I think that there should be some study done. How many people have started in music videos and turned into a full-blown career? Have you seen the beginning of post Malone? His music videos? Yeah. The high school one is like the white background. Yeah.

But like either his makes sense because he's like he's the artist, which the music was also very. funny. I think like I know friends who are big actresses now, but they started. And it's like, oh, here's me in the back of a so-and-so rap music video. Like the study of like how many people start from music videos because you're, you're like new to it and you're like, oh, it's TVs, it's rappers, it's cameras. Like, yeah, I should just do this. It's just a very natural progression for people to do that. That's true, actually. A lot of people have done that. I'm trying to think I've been in a few music videos and they're fun. Like what? My friend is a rapper, young gravy. Do we know?

I know young gravy. I've hung out with him many times. Oh, okay. Not like that. Never hooked up with him. Okay. But we hung out at, what was it, the Kentucky Derby and then we became friends. Were you there last year?

No, this was two years ago. And then I ran into him at a hotel in Vancouver. I was coming back from my friend's wedding and he was in the lobby. And I was like, gravy? And he was like, how do I know you? I was like, the Derby. And then we were like, oh my God. And we have so many mutual friends.

Anyways, go on. He's awesome. I love him. I love making things about me. Go on. Please, it's your podcast. I don't even know. Girl, say whatever. I'm like Vince Vaughn.

Know him. Young Brady? Yeah, friends. Let me see who else I can know here. You were in his food. They're just fun because there's no audio in the music video. It's like they play the song a bunch, but you don't have to memorize lines. Like you just, you know, people can be talking in the background.

It really matter because they're just cutting it all. Oh, this fell off. It happens every single time. It happens every time. And honestly, you can leave it off. Why are they so loose? What is going on in here? They're like the plug-ins on your airplane.

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weren't you in a music video for a country artist? And I was like, oh my God, I was in it. So when I was 19, I was a CFL Canadian football league cheerleader. And four of us got handpicked to be in a music video. And I thought it was like, I thought I peaked. Like it was my moment.

Of course. Who was the artist? The Cruzeeros. They were probably like 65, seven-year-old men, Canadian country band. guys. Creepy, right?

Put them on the list. I'm worried. Looking back, we were in a hot tub. Mm-hmm. And some Dan Schneider shit right here. We were in our, our, um, yes,

we were in our uniforms, like our CFL uniforms. And they were in all their tractors driving by and our car had broken down. I was the driver. Weirdly, we had our pom-poms. Yeah.

Um, and then they saved us. They saved us. You can look up this video. I looked it up when my mom brought us. it up and I was like, it's still there. And I thought I'd made it because I was like, the Cruzeros are huge in Canada. I'm in their music video, dancing around in a freaking hot tub with them. And maybe that is what started my career. If you think about it, it gave me the

experience and the confidence to put myself out there. And maybe that is a little stepping stone. You never know the pivotal moments. Yeah, because you're very integrated in the dance world and you're dancing and then you're like, oh, but what if we put it on camera? And then, it like kind of like it's like a baton passing off like dance to but you know yep and then to bachelorette yeah but i think if you ask every person who's on a red carpet at some event and be like how you've been in music video nine out of times a girl in line would like yes that's so true it's because it's always last second like i know some directors and i'll just see their instagram store and be like need nine nine women yeah they use the b word need nine women no no but they'll be like need nine women in miami tomorrow

from music video. And it's like, it's like, oh yeah, that's how you got a trippy red music video. It's like somebody posts like need nine women in a music video. And they just, there they are. And you really do feel like you've made it when you're in a music video. Yeah, absolutely. Because it's like the legit lights, camera, audio, you're like acting a little bit. Of course. It's a really good stepping stone. It's, it's a great entry level point. And that's what happened for you with young gravy. Yeah. Yeah, sir. What was the video that did it for you? Like, what do you think your most viral video was that you were like, I'm, I'm a, do something. I think it's coming waves.

I wasn't big on mine, but I was like college big on Vine, if that makes sense. Like I was big for what, like I was making videos or in there like people on like, like this happened like twice on campus. Like yeah, you make vines. It was like, what? So one video in there, they didn't even do like views was like loops or like reach.

I think it was loops. Loops. I totally remember. One video I had 14 million loops. Holy shit. Because a friend of a friend, this guy Thomas Carpino, shout it to him. Ew. Oh, I think he said, ew. No, I said, ew. I was like, well, did you sedative?

He also did. I also know him. He, oh, he also did Vine at a different college. My friend Andrew was like, dude, this is funny. Let me send it to my friend. Yeah. He also did Vine at San Diego State. I was at San Jose State.

He re-shares it. Yeah. That video blows up and I go, holy shit. Okay, now we're on something. So I had some success on there. Some other ones did like some cool amount of views and then Vine dies. And then the, I think there was like three like chunks that like did well for me. It was like I made fun of Zoom.

these employees, which is like the skateboard store in the U.S. I made fun of them and I made like a character out of it where I went in the store and that was like eight years ago, I think. And that was the first thing that like blew up for me post Vine. Yeah. And that was on Facebook and YouTube. And then I wrote that out for like two years. I didn't want to get like kind of like cornered in that.

Start to make a bunch of other bad content to try and find my next thing. You know, trying on different shoes, this and that. And then I made a video about AirPods when those first came out. That was really big. The summer of like 2019, that was like my like golden. Like that was like my like Mario cart where like everything was just aligning. That one hit. Then I made a video about guys named Kyle.

And then right after that I made a video about guys from your hometown. And then also this white club video. Didn't you get a cease and desist for that? Yes. Why? F*** them. The worst company in the world. They're dumb.

You white cloud. Just kidding. Work with me. No, you don't. Why? White claw is an idiot brand. They could be so much bigger, but they don't know their audience. Go to their Instagram.

It's all like black and white curated photos. I'm like, you don't know. You don't know. your audience. This is not a film noir. These are frat guys who are shotgunning this at LSU tailgate. What did you do that made them want to cease and desist

you? The interesting part is it wasn't even the video. It was I made merch that said Anna Laws when you're drinking claws which was from... White Claw. Right. This is... So I altered the logo a little bit so I could get around parody law. Yeah. I was also like 24 or 25 at a time. I don't know if I was doing.

How old are you now? 33. Oh, great age. Okay. Thank you. Jesus here. I don't know. I'm Jewish. But this is where they got me. They said somebody could get like pulled over for a DUI and be like, oh, I thought that

there was no laws when you're drinking claws. So why I'm going to pull up? It's really exaggerative. The best example that they gave me is like that's why Red Bull is Red Bull gives you wings. And they spell wings with three eyes because it's not a real thing. So had I done laws with like three A's, now it's not laws. It's like law. Like because if Red Bull gives you wings and.

it was just W-I-N-G-S, somebody could jump off a building and be like, where's my wings, lawsuit? So you make it like a couple letters. Damn. Now it's not that. So I was two letters off from making lots of money. That's crazy. In a, what's the positive to the negative side, this gets coverage.

It gets picked up by like Business Insider, like, at age. Truly. And Natty Light sent me an offer to be like, dude, we hurt what happened to you, that company. Because I printed $100,000. worth of T-shirts. Holy shit. Print on demand. So they saw this campaign and we're like, hey, we know you haven't printed these out.

You have two days before you have to print these. If you take this down, they send me the season sis for the shirts. They go, but if you don't sell these shirts, we'll work with you to do a brand deal. And I go, okay, there could be a positive here for a white claw. And then in a meeting, two days later, they go, yeah, we don't think we can work with him. Oh, that's so annoying. That's really crazy. There are certain brands that are social.

short-sighted that don't cease. I mean, even a franchise as big as the Bachelor. There's so many things that they do where I'm like, you guys could be so much bigger. They were so big, but now there's so many reality shows. They kind of see the vision now with doing somebody like Taylor Frankie Paul from Mormon wives and bringing her as the Bachelorette.

But so many times I've gotten a cease and desist from them just for talking about something like so small that happened behind the scenes that does not even matter. Yeah. But I'm like, don't you just want people talking about your brand in any way? Like, yeah, I mean, it is bizarre. I just didn't know it was, like, I printed the shirts. Like, this is like literally like, it's like, it's something out of a movie.

I printed the shirts. And then I posted the photo. And the video was doing so well at the time that just the quote alone was like getting shared. Yeah. So the shirt was getting shared like it was a meme. Yeah. So the shirt was just kind of circulating. And I think within 72 hours it had $100,000 in sales.

Oh my God. I saw this from it. That's so annoying. Yeah. I mean, everything will work out. But had I, I have zero regrets from it because it also brought me so many new eyes

who are people who come to shows now, who started watching my videos. It was frustrating in the moment. Seeing $100,000 then go to zero. Yeah. That's definitely something. Yeah. But yeah, now I, no.

Yeah. If I were in that situation again, what should I have actually done? It's like, yeah, no, I canceled. I canceled the shirts. Totally. sold them. Seasons and this really is just like, hey, stop doing this. It's like a pee-p-slap, like a little slap on the wrist. Seasons, it's literally like it sounds so

jurisdictional. I don't even know if that's a word, made it up. I believe to you. I was like, but it sounds so like gavel, gavel, la, la. But it's really much like, hey, stop or else we could see you. Right. And then I don't know if they, they just want, that's the same thing with the Bachelor thing. Like, they were like, don't. And I was like, I could have been like, okay, and then still done it. And I wonder if they would have. But I had this idea of starting like a go sue me fund so that I could actually just say the behind the scenes and but then I was like that people wouldn't like that either but then go fund me sues you for the go sue me fund right then you get a cease-sumee from them yeah it's too complicated a lot of seasons is

going on just thinking about it yeah but your Kyle video that's I remember that being something that I remember you from like your stuff has come up on my for you page like on either probably TikTok I don't know um but Kyle is something that I remember all your video videos or like characters are so painfully accurate that it's so funny. But how did the Kyle content come to be? Do you have a Kyle friend? Right down the street from me. Really?

Yeah, growing up, I lived in a like coldestack type area. And this guy, Kyle, he's two years older than me. It's just, that's funny. He was like, he was, his family dynamic was like so ying and yang to my family.

Like he could do whatever he wanted. He had the cool paintball guns, a cool aeroslav guns. He had every video game. Yeah. He was very like his mom had fake tits, drove a Hummer. Classic. Dad would smoke weed.

Just like like, like, his family in me was like the movie. It was like a movie. And his name was really Kyle. Kyle. Amazing. Yeah. You can bleep the last name. But yeah.

But yeah. Does Kyle know that this Kyle is about him? I would hope so. He's never reached out. No, he's still a friend. Yeah. Oh. I would have to go through some texts because I was like 2019 or whatever.

But how he would. play video games. So he was that guy. He would like, he was the guy who would like cuss back at his mom. He'd be like, kind of dinner's ready. Shut the fuck.

God, mom. Like he would like, in the middle of the game of like Halo, we would always play at his house. He would just like smash the controller. He had a wooden table in front of this TV and there was dent marks from Xbox controllers hitting it so hard.

Shut the fuck. God, mom. A real ladies man. Is he taken? He is. Oh. He ended up. Going to anger management?

Kind of. He works. He works out like every day. He's jacked. Ah, that makes sense. So that is a guy's anger management slash therapies, the gym. Yeah,

just get jacked. Yeah. Take your testosterone elsewhere. But yeah, he's Kyle. That's funny. Well, I mean,

you must, are you ever able to just like, like, I'm scared you're getting content from me right now. Totally. Yeah. Because like every, dates,

going out to the bar, Kyle's. That's why, like, I have to remember sometimes to, like, live a life. Yeah.

You know, like I, like, I love working. I love it. So for me, it's like, so people are like, oh, we should go to this game. We should go to this thing. I'm like, ah, that sounds boring. But you got to realize that's where the material is. And some of it, it's like, it just depends where it's like, whether it's more like a stand-up bit or a video. Yeah.

But it kind of just, however it gets brought to me, I can like categorize me. Okay, this is more of a story that happened. Like, this is a story that happened like with me and my girlfriend. I can talk about that. Or, oh, I've been observing a lot of people who drive this car. Like, that's more of the visual thing. That's a video for that. Yeah, I have an idea that.

So I was filming this face wash commercial with some girls in the other day in L.A. And the girl sitting behind me who was a producer of, I think, Mormon wives. But she said she came up with the idea of Mormon wives, Secret Lives and Mormon Wives. And I was like, wow, I have an idea for you. Go ahead. No, no, you go ahead. I'm just curious. Like, what do you mean the idea?

What if we film these bitches? I don't know. I didn't ask any further questions. She's like, what a real housewives, Orange County, but Mormons are like, they're just going to. slowly go around. It's going to be like the real housewives of Memphis pretty soon. I want them to do Nashville. There's so much drama here that people don't even know about. I want to see like real stepdad's arena. I'm already going down. I like that. I love that. You have to write that down.

My notes app is my favorite place. It's like it's it's some of the brightest ideas and the worst ideas I've ever had. That's what a notes app should be. I also have a notes app. But that's what I'm saying. The girl who, created whatever she did for the Mormon wives, I said, boy, do I have an idea for you, but I need to be like a producer on it because I think it's so genius. And you can run with this idea too if you haven't already or you probably have it in your notes app. Men who come off reality TV who now want to be like influencers, but their whole audience is female. So they really lean into like the like a hair transition. Like I'm about to get my haircut and they do this and then they come up and they've got a haircut. But like, just. just the little taste of fame that they get from reality TV and then they get a couple brand deals and then they are like, oh, I get a lot of attention from this and like a mockumentary almost style show. Male influencers in general.

I mean, I don't want to, you know, all of this is jokingly because I'm sure there's plenty of people who would classify me as an influencer. Sure. Please just call me a comedian at the end of the day, but I get the influencer side of things. But reality TV is just bent for women. It's meant for women. It's, it's, so when they come off the show, it's such a gradual or natural transition. Yeah.

For guys, it's like this, they weren't, like, women were doing that before they're on reality. Well, and women are consumers of, like, beauty products and hair and all these things where if your audience is 95% female, you're really at that point trying to hard to be someone else to appease this woman, women, like, following that I feel like men lose themselves in it. You're not trying to please, well, I'm sure you're trying to please women too, but. or I don't know, your sexuality, but like you, you're trying to be funny. You're trying to make people laugh.

Yes, yes. You're a comedian. Yes. I classify you as a comedian. But don't you think it would be funny to have a mockumentary following around influencer men and like the behind the scenes of it too where they're like, don't go to that again? And then they seem so polished on the outside, but really they're like not.

Yeah, it's just, it's, it's, it's so niche. I think it'd be funny. Too niche? Not for the reality world Yeah But the reality world is a world That like can make things like Do numbers like

I guess I just didn't know how big reality was And then I watched like a real housewives of Salt Lake City And you know I binge seven episodes in a row Yeah Which is insane There's like no TV show in history That's made me like do that

Really? No Real Housewives of Salt Lake City did it for you Yeah I mean they're all insane One girl's in jail now Oh I did hear I've never watched it but I did hear that yes Well it's just so

easy to watch, but like there is like when people watch reality, they like watch it, watch it. Yeah. It's not like they're kind of like just putting it on it. It's a little bit of background TV, but for the most part, like everybody who does watch is so locked in. So that video idea you're doing would do great in the reality world because that's something that they're all is on the tip of their mind. We're like, yeah, it is weird seeing these guys turn into influencers.

If you're a guy coming off reality and you're seeing what your co-stars who are females are the brands and commercial placements they're getting. You're like, I might as well shoot my, I might as well try. Yeah. But it is funny watching these guys where like ex, you know, cops or firefighters who do reality. And now they're hot. And now they're like, so my favorite serum. Yeah.

Why do you know the word serum? Yeah. Yes. I just find it. So I did a Q&A on a plane the other day. I said I was feeling froggy. Like sometimes I like to. Oh, I think you like turn to the plane.

You're like, hey guys, anybody got questions? I thought it was like a panel. Hey guys, me and 2C are going to be asking the question to respond. I'm right here. Q and A, like, oh, Instagram story. Yes. Gotcha. Yes.

And I don't know if it's like the miracle of flight that makes me feel froggy or if I just always want to be like, ask me anything. I'll tell you anything. That's kind of be in general. But people were like asking what's the biggest like red flag you ignored in the past that you wouldn't ignore now. And I can't believe how many. DMs I got about this one because I said, oh, my ex would get so drunk and he'd spit on my carpet in the middle of the night. And I would just find a spit pile. You do it. What? You raised your hand. I have a question. Oh, go on. I raised my hand. I thought you're like guilty. No. No, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no does he, no, no, no, Louie or just kind of like clear out whatever's in his mouth. Not like a h. Not that. No wind up. Flip that by the way. Make that a gift for Instagram comments, please. And when he moved in with me,

you let this spitter, squalor move in? At first I was like, I'm so cool. I'm not going to say anything. And then when it happened in my house. This guy must have been hot for you not to say anything. Sure. But it was really when I had to say something, was when the dog started lollicking.

But I couldn't believe how many DMs of people being like, what the fuck? And I was like, then I felt bad because I was like, I'm sure I'd do some weird shit when I'm drunk too. But this was the only one who was drunk or? Yes. Okay. He, it was, I think. But did you ever ask him about it? Yes.

So at a certain point, I had to say something obviously. Because there's so many things that he did that I was like, if he just, just admitted to it was like that's up. I would actually, because I love self-deprecation, I like self-awareness, but he would be like, I didn't do that. And I'd literally point out the same. Or he'd pass out all the time, like Winnie the Pooh style with like a t-shirt and no pants. And I'd be like, it's so funny when you do this, which it was funny.

I don't care if you pass out with no pants on. It's funny. Yeah. Just not at a library. You know what I mean? Right. In our bedroom. And I would be like, he'd be like, no, I don't.

I'm like, but you literally, I have a photo. Can we move on? I mean, I can talk about that for an hour. Moving on. Moving on. I get sick when I talk about it. I talk about it way too long. I know.

I have to spare it now. I'm going to just put on the floor to. Give you PTSD. There's a carpet right there for you if you'd like to just lean over. Yeah, I got you. Let's talk about your dating, not mine and the spitters. Are you dating? Speaking of spitter.

Talking about your dating. Speaking of spitting. Is what I should have said. Yeah. Edit this, so I sound like the funny one. Speaking of spitting. Yeah, there you go. Dating life.

Have a girlfriend. You do? We've been dating for six months. Great. Oh, six months. That's an interesting time. And why do you say this? It's when the spitting starts.

This is when you notice stuff that you generally don't like. It's when the, you know, the shell comes like a little, we crack open a little bit. You start to see things you never did before. You start to be a little who you are more. Yeah. Do we feel good about where we're at, though? I feel great. Oh, great.

I think usually for me, I notice stuff around the three month mark. That's when I'm like. Oh, is it three for you? It's six for me. Really? Yeah. And then a year it's real clear. If you don't know who that person is after a year, you don't know who you're dating.

But then clearly I like to look past things and be like, yeah. Oh, of course. Listen, there's stuff that I'm sure I've done or she's done or anyone's done. Is this public knowledge or do you keep it private? It's done. How did you guys meet? Instagram. Oh.

Yeah. I saw a video of her and I was like, which is really funny and gorgeous. I was going to ask if you liked funny because sometimes funny people. Yeah. I need to be able to riff. Okay. I'm the same way,

but I don't want somebody funnier than me. Not that I think I'm hilarious, but I love humor and I need humor. But if they're funnier than me, I'm like, am I? This is often something I think about other women. Anyone in my life that I get jealous of,

I go, am I inspired or jealous? Ooh. It's a very deep question I ask myself often. And a lot of times. And both can be true. A lot of times it's jealousy and then I switch it to be inspired. Oh, I like that. Thanks.

Yeah. I do therapy. All about perspective. I remember in therapy, it was either therapy or friend or somebody I was like, yeah, man. And this is not her about saying. I was going on these dates and I just like, this girl's attracted, but there's just no banter. There's no way if I'm like, I need something.

And they're like, yeah, well, you're looking at this person like, they're one of your best friends. Like you can date somebody who's, you know, just like a good partner or a good lover. and they're not like the funniest, but I've dated that. And I've been, there's been people have dated where I'm like, I feel so like there's no riff that I would almost have to pre-plan questions in my head on the weight of their place to be like, what do I say if it gets dry? And it just isn't that with this.

And I've also dated plenty of people who do have that more, the riff. And it's just more fun. Like it's, is she a comedian? She does a lot of like comedy online. Yeah, like kind of like online. Do I know who she is? Maybe. What's her name?

Lindsay Fishman? No, but now I'm going to look her up. You can, yeah, she's crushing it right now. She's, uh, she's awesome. Um, I just saw a video of her and I was like, she's stunning and funny and I just was like, what? And you damned her? Yeah, and she lived in Chicago at the time. And I was doing a show in Chicago a couple weeks later.

I was like, do you want to get coffee? And just kind of hit it off. And then she ended up, uh, moving Los Angeles for work and then ended up leaving that job and now does social full time. And is she living in L.A.? Mm-hmm. And that's where you live. Cute?

Fun. Cute. Fun. And like how convenient that she's now there. That's cute that you guys are six months in and happy and. Happy, yeah. I mean, there's,

the only thing that really annoys me is she listens to TikToks at full volume in the shower, in the shower. Oh. I'm like, you got it. You got to go, you got to find one place that's your like peaceful Zen place. With AirPods in.

No. Oh, Tricia Paitis. TikTok, hot through body, suction to the glass. And I'm like, I'm only annoyed for her.

I'm like, honey, that's where you, that's where you have the shower thoughts. That's what you're like, the shower is sacred. Yes. Shower is sacred. But when I like walk in and the phone is blasting, I'm like, are you watching Fortnite live in their shower? First of all, I think that's illegal.

Well, then the steam goes in the hole of the phone and your phone is ruined. And like, that's my niece and nephew, I was just with them for the holidays. And the two of them scrolling different TikTok sounds at the same time, I have misophonia and like, that even triggers my misophonia. Okay, what levels because I have that? Like what, like, what are your triggers? Every, every, every, you talking right now.

Just kidding. Should I leave? No, I'm like. Snoring really bothers me. Okay. TikTok sounds like back and forth like, because they don't watch the full video. They just go to the next. So it's just sound after sound.

People chewing and people like slurping. That's me. And like the noises of this, I already did this, but pleop on a plane going, when they're not, they're awake. Oh. Like, you know, and they're like, clearing their throat, but it's through their nose. The slurp for me, like, I don't know what it is.

Like, it's like, and people are like, oh, your nails on a chalkboard, I'm like, times a thousand. Like, times a thousand. Like, when people, they crack a soda and they hit that burst slurp, I almost like, I do it to myself. It's rage. I watch them. I go, don't, can do it.

Don't. Then they, I'm like, just put it fully on your mouth. It's even water bottles for me. Really? Even seeing somebody, if I have headphones in and I see them drinking, I could subconsciously hear them. angry. But it's not you.

It's a brain disorder. And there's nothing you can do about it. Right. Yeah. It's not your fault. Cereal's a big one. I had a roommate. I had a roommate.

My sister and I. Yeah. I think it started in college. I had the roommate John Pletchnick. Leave his name in that. Idiot. We broke his door down for $20 in college. That was the funniest day of my life.

That's amazing. Yeah. No, great guy. But just like would purposely, I think would do stuff subconsciously to piss us off. Yeah. Like we'd use a cassidia maker and then just cheese everywhere.

And then just cheese everywhere. Oh, up a little later later. But he would like The cereal The day Like in between class And like Tuesday

2 p.m. And he'd have this giant bowl And you could hear the slurbs coming He would just And I'm not even gonna No So loud I want to be like

It's already in your mouth Just close your mouth Yeah Move the spoon They aren't aware They aren't aware Of how It's crazy

The rage that it brings up for you That was my sister It started for me in elementary And I would wonder why Hated her Because I don't hate my sister I love her very much But I would hate her

When she ate cereal And it was the noises. And I've learned as I got older, there's a term for it. It's misophonia. And I have a support group if you'd like to join. Do you actually? Yeah, it's called misophonia misery on Instagram. We make people feel seen.

I might check that out. Yeah, not heard. There's certain people in my life, like one of my closest people in my life, this guy John who edits all my videos. I've been working with him for seven years, I think. Wow. And he's a slurper. Damn.

And I've, and I've told him, because there's certain meals where I'll be like, Hey, what should we get for lunch? And then we get like a salad. And then he goes, oh, let me get the broccoli cheddar soup. I'm like, am I not? Did I piss you off? And he'll like rip a slurp. I'm like, hey, like, dude, I'm so sorry.

Like I, that sound, I'm just, it's me. I'm sorry. I know what I'm getting. When's your birthday? December 30th. Shit. Just happened. I know what I'm going to tell your girlfriend to get you for Valentine's Day.

Please. Industrial ear plugs. I wear them at family dinners. So I dated a deaf guy once. What the fuck? I did. A spitter, a deaf guy. Listen, if you're blind, your time is coming.

Tell me I don't have a good heart. You have bad eyesight. I don't. I have a good heart. I just... You dated a deaf guy. Yeah, he was so cute. Is it both moaning in bed?

All right, feel free to leave that one in if you want. I don't know. I don't know. Well, he had, okay, so he had meningitis twice when he was younger. Lost his hearing, but he has a cochlear implant so he can hear. And there is a lot of hot deaf guys, I will say. I'm telling you. And he was so, he was so funny and he was hot and creative and I still follow him on Instagram. He's, he's brilliant. And he could, but if we ever got in a fight, you go, point. And he would just take out the implant and he couldn't hear me. And I would be like, like yelling. And he just couldn't. And I was like, what a luxury to be tough, not beat up, but like the implant to take it out. Because if he had the misophonia, imagine how nice that would be. Take your ears off.

Yes. Just don't hear it. That is nice. I know. Okay, after the holidays, your brain wants one thing less. Less noise. Less clutter. Less doing.

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Oh, good. Yeah. And she, she won't do it. She, like, she remembers. Yeah. She'll eat zero next me. I'm like, oh, not do it. That's nice.

Or it'll be like, oh, notice how I didn't? I'm like, yeah. thoughtful. But I also think that I broke the, uh, the honeymoon phase early on just being myself or something like. But that's good. Yeah. Because that means that if you're yourself immediately, that means she is really into you.

Like, this is like, this is a weird thing. And it's not the. It's not gross, but it's not great. Okay. I know my Cinderella shoe. Yeah. If I'm comfortable with a woman, if I can go to the bathroom. Mm.

Like, we're standing in a hotel. I'm like, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. If that's. If you can, what if she, can she though? I think, yeah. I think when both people are like, you know, it's real. Yeah.

You're like, my body is just telling me I'm comfortable around this person. Yeah. Yeah. You're listening to your body. That's so romantic. Yeah, there you go. And I walked out of the bathroom. I said, honey, you're not going to believe this.

That's when you drop your elbow for the first time. You go shit your brain's out in the bathroom. And I'm still winning the Pousa. I love you. Yeah. I love you. That's beautiful. There's something there.

There's magic in the air. Tell me last, but obviously not least, I don't know why I left this to last, but your alpha beta male tour. Yes. You're on it right now? I'm on tour right now. So you're in Nashville to do your show. You're at the rhyman.

I'm at the rhyman, baby. That's so big. Have you performed there before? I have not. I don't know anything about it. It's iconic. I know it used to be a church. Yes.

That's all I really know. That's all I really know. But I know it's iconic. I watched Germant Kennedy perform there. Do you know who that is? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, okay. Sorry, that.

Don't clip that. Zoom in on it. Make it. It was genuine to, like, I think I've something tingled. But the hearing, anyone perform there to me, even if you're a comedian, it sounds better. Really?

Better at the rhyming. I love older venues because acoustically, they're usually built for places that didn't have like sound systems. Yeah. So there's a place in Seattle called the Moore Theater. I think it's the best theater I've ever done my entire life. Oh, cool. And it's like you can be on the third floor,

third story up and you can hear people talking on the stage, like just doing a sound check. They're like, hey, how are you doing over there? Because they're built pre-ampatheters. Yeah. So sound has to travel.

So it's all like concrete. So when a joke hits in there, I mean, it is just bouncing off the walls. And I feel like Nashville is such a good audience for comedians. Nashville is great. Every time I've done Nashville, I've done Zanies. And I've done Zanis six times I'm obsessed, not a stand-up live podcast.

Zanis is awesome. And Zanis is usually where I do when I come to Nashville. But I was like, every time I've done it, I think I've done like six shows there. And I'm like, you know, I think six times what, if it sees 350 and the Rhyman's like 2000. I'm like, let me, let's just go for the big, let's go for the big swing. Like, let's do it. And I also feel like when people see something at the Riemannman, they also. go, like they might not even know your

like bits, but they're going to come because it's the Ryman and then you get a whole new audience out of it. Like that can happen too. I think. That's cool. Yeah, I'm excited. What part of the tour are you in? Beginning, Middle, and? This is the middle. Great. So where can people find tickets who are listening right now? Trevor Wallace.com. I am going

everywhere. We're going all of the coast of California. We're going to Memphis. We're going to freaking New Jersey. Oh, damn. New York. Like, Texas, like, so this tour, besides this weekend, it's a lot of, like, bus tours where it's like, I got so tired of leaving the house flying for two shows and flying back. Yeah, that's awful.

That's four days. It's just taxing. So now I'm like, let's do a bus and let's do like nine shows in a row and 10 days and just. I love a bus. Yeah. So Trevorwals.com. Trevorwals.com for tickets. This is the second leg of the tour.

So we did one in the beginning of the year, 2025. Took three months off for summer. And this is the second leg. These are all the cities I didn't go to, which is a lot of tech. A lot of just California. And then in March 13th, 14th, filming a stand-up special in Phoenix. Cool. Which I love Phoenix.

Phoenix is one of my favorite, if not my favorite comedy city. Really? It's just, they're just down. They're down to party. It's a good. Yeah. It's a fun city alone. Yeah.

And they're, their energy is just great. Because Arizona doesn't get like, I mean, a lot of people always kind of stop there. But like, it's not something where like, you are performing in New York City. Someone's like, yeah, well, I just saw John Malaney and she shop yesterday doing stand-up. So, like, there's so many other options. Phoenix is like, you get big acts, but you're not competing with so much other shit going on. I saw the Doobie brothers there. Oh, where?

Santan Valley at my parents' golf course. Your parents own a golf course? Sorry that. They lived on a golf course in San Tan Valley in Phoenix or in Arizona. And one night the Doobie brothers were there and it was wild times. Nice. Old people partying is they can hang. Oh, yeah, that's all they got left.

Well, they also have the most experience. Like, they've been drinking their whole life. Oh, my mom could drink me under the table. She really can, and it's very impressive. My dad's sober 35 years, and my mom's like, me, it's very fun. But, okay, I have two silly questions, and then we're wrapping. Please. If you could roast anyone in the whole world, who would you want to roast?

In, like, am I roasting them publicly? Well, because your crowd work is so good, which, by the way, I would find so hard nowadays because people just want to be inserted into your, because they're like, maybe I'll make it into one of those videos. So I feel like people try too hard to get in on the roast. Yeah, if you can tell though. You could so tell. Yeah, when somebody's too scripted up top.

Like the 4-11 girl, I was like, she'd already premeditate. Like she was like, I'll have your babies. I'll go to Judaism. Like, she was like, I've thought about this for a long time. Sometimes they're funny, but sometimes if somebody's too prompted, like, then it feels, like sometimes, because the more question you're asked, sometimes you're like it's just not real. Right.

Like that girl was that one, how did it's funny because she was genuine behind it. But sometimes guys will make up a false store because they want to be in it. And then you're like, do you really, do you really work in the sex operations? Tell me about it. And they're like, oh, it's kidding. Okay. Good one. But if like say, say like anyone in the world that would be, if they were in your audience,

you're like, I would die to roast them. Trying to think about people who would like be easy to roast. Yeah. People that come into my mind, I'm like, sometimes there's just cool people in there. I got nothing. Right. The people that are the most fun to roast are usually just drunk people because they interrupt. I don't look for crowdwork.

It's usually somebody yells something out. And then I'll be like, hold on, what did you say? And then if they say something fast, then I'm like, okay, where are we going with this? So somebody who I'd love to roast would probably just be somebody drunk from my hometown. Oh. Somebody who like. I wish so badly I could do a callback right now and remembered one of the guys's names that ate cereal like an asshole. I wish I could be like him.

Oh, probably this girl, Cheyenne du Shern. Oh. And you can keep her full government name in there. But I remember I ran into her at a Target once. And when I was maybe like three years into stand-up, I was, I think I still had a day job where I just quit to pursue full term. Yeah. Went to high school together. I was behind her line at Target and I was with my best friend Paul.

She looks at me and she goes, oh, you're still doing your little comedy thing? Little comedy thing. I want to call my special little comedy thing. because that like lit a fire under my ass. So do that cute little comedy thing? The little, the little comedy thing. So if she could be front row being like, remember me?

I'm like, no, what do you do for a living? And all good spirits to her. I'm sure she's great. Well, at least she would have. Oh, she had a nice ass? I don't know. But yeah, if you're watching, Shianne. His cute little career is doing really well.

Thanks for us. All out of love. But like that, like that level of. Petty would be somebody to roast. Because if it's a cool celebrity, the chances are you wouldn't have them to roast. Yeah. On my season of The Bachelorette, I did a comedy date and Amy Schumer and Nikki Glazer were my coaches. That's awesome.

And I got to do stand-up because I love stand-up. And I just think, like, humor is like we were talking about so important in a relationship that they did a comedy date for me as The Bachelorette. And it was so much fun. And the advice that they gave me on like how to like even do crowd work or how to roll with certain things was so genius. I don't, I don't even remember like specifically what they said, but just sitting with them for an hour getting advice from those two specifically. Yeah. I didn't even know at the time how great that was. And looking back, I'm like, yeah, that, yeah, it was very fun.

My last question for you is, what is your death row meal? What is my death row meal? I'm talking drink, appy meal dessert. Okay. Let me really think about this because I don't want to give some basic McDonald's fries. No. Oh my God. I had a double cheeseburger. I, when I, I, after I finished that 13 hour day in L.A. I went back and I took a Larazepam because I was oh it's like helps you sleep. I call her my friend Pam and I if I let it hit the same thing if I take a sleep edible if I let it hit and then I stay awake I want McDonald's and so I was it at this like Westlake Village Inn where it's like you have certain cabins like it's like 50 minutes from where I grew up oh so you know it yeah yeah and you know how it's like you can't just have the front

desk bring it to you like They like do golf carts to bring you here. So I was like, wow, I must really want McDonald's because I'm going to have to walk to that lobby to get it. And I had two, no, I didn't have a double cheese, two cheeseburgers and French fries. And when I tell you that that might be my basic answer for a death row meal, it might be my answer. Really? Yeah. I think it just depends on time.

Please. Funny, we'll get back to it, Wesleyville, gin. Yeah. I once made love on the 18th hole at night. You're joking. Swear. I love how twice this podcast you've called it Make Love. That's very sweet.

It's not very, well, when you were saying, gentlemen like to be in a room, women, but you fuck the bitch on the 18th hole. Okay, well,

I respect you. Yeah, I know exactly the Westlingville. And that memory was unlocked once you said it. That's funny. And if anybody from the Wesleyan Village is, checking,

I was seating the greens. All right, moving on. So I, my death row meal would be, so we're going to go, I'm going to have a, I'm going to have a few drinks.

Okay. Not even alcohol. Oh, I want to remember every bite. I'm talking like a Mountain Dew voltage. Whoa. What's the red one? Blue.

Okay. What's it? What's a breakdown guy to girl that listens to this podcast? We were saying like, was it like 7030? We're 93. Okay. This is really for the seven percenters. Okay.

Assuming the seven is men. Well, maybe the 93 percenters, their guys are listening with them. In the car. Right. So, fellas. Turn it up a notch for this one. Mountain Dew voltage. It's a deep cut for the seven percent.

It's a, it's a, it's a, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, This blue Mountain Dew, and it is, it's my childhood. I don't drink soda a lot only on tour, like when I'm on the road because there's so many gas stations. Yeah. If I see it, I have to get it every time. Really? Mountain Dew Code Red.

May I just ask why that's for the fellas? It's not. I just like, I am picturing the beautiful audience that listens to the show. Yes. I can't see them cracking open a cold. Oh. MDV. Okay.

Mountain Dew Voltage. I got it. Mountain Dew Voltage. I would probably have next to it. definitely an iced coffee of some sort. Maybe a macha in there for getting crazy. Wow. Okay, so that drinks the side over there.

Maybe chocolate milk in the back. I don't really know. I hate chocolate milk. Really? Yeah. Appetizer. Okay. Carbone, Caesar salad.

Wow. That's a good call. The little gem with the parmesan shit on top? I've only had it once and it was quite, I remember it. Any salad that has a bunch of cheese grated on top? Yeah. Like, great. The fluffy kind.

Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Next that salad is going to be. Maddie Matheson has a restaurant in Toronto. Okay. I forget what it's called, but they have a chicken wing there.

It was the best chicken wing I've ever had. Wow. Magic City, honorable mention chicken wing. But Maddie Matheson is this like Cessuan chicken wing was like incredible. And it was like coated in rice flour. That is next to my Caesar salad over there. I love how excited you are.

Okay. And then we're going to do something dirty. Carl's Jr. Onion rings. Wow. Carl's Jr. Onion rings. Wow, this is good.

Next to that. I love how you didn't pigeonhole yourself into one thing. No, this is my death row. Okay, that is so fair. Because I'm collecting everything. Yeah. And I'm sending DoorDash out at the same time so everybody lands at the same time. Yeah, stagger it.

Yeah, time it perfectly. Main course meal. Main course meal. I'm trying to think, like, I feel like everyone was like, oh, steak. No. I didn't think you'd go steak. What do I look like I would go for? Like, I already got it.

Like, I would picture you going for like a, What is that like a, what's the chicken pasta dish that's like chicken parm, chicken parm. Okay, I'm not in the mafia, but thank you. Well, that's what I would go for. Really? No. You know what mine is? And I was just thinking about this today, how much I love it, just an Italian sandwich.

What are you in the mafia? True. But like, it's just an Italian sandwich is just so good. Okay, and dessert. Oh, dessert. Pazuki from BJ's. What's that? What?

Oh, you're Canadian. Yeah. You know BJ's a pizza place? No. Actually, funnel cake. Yes. God, I love a funnel cake. Yeah, that's good.

Thank you so much for coming on my podcast. Absolutely. That was really fun. Yeah, it was good. Good riffs. Good riffs? If you think it was good riffs, then I feel like it was a job well done by both of us.

Absolutely. Thank you for coming. And I'll see you maybe at your show. I don't know if I have time, but I'll see. Hey, if you got time for a little old me, come by. There's two,

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and Anything and Everything and Everything, Taylor Swift. We're two sisters who make no apologies for our love of pop culture and the fact that A-Listers might be more to us than each other. Join us on your favorite podcast app every Wednesday for Pop Apologists. Pop Apologists, your new favorite sister and celebrity podcast.