Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Trista Sutter

Episode Date: July 14, 2020

Kaitlyn’s guest this week is none other than the very first star of The Bachelorette, Trista Sutter! The two chat about the early seasons of the show, Trista’s heartbreaking experience as the runner-up in season one of The Bachelor, and the road that led her to Ryan, the man she chose in her season. She and Kaitlyn talk about future contestants and how they hope they can find what she did on her season! GEICO – Go to geico.com , and in fifteen minutes you could be saving 15% or more on car insurance MERCARI – Check out Mercari on the app stores or on Mercari.com . CAREFREE – Check it out on Amazon, Walmart.com or at your local grocery store or CVSSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Podcast One presents Off the Vine with Caitlin Bristow. Caitlin is creating a space where girls and gents can feel empowered to be themselves. Get ready for lots of laughs, tabby topics, on filtered advice, and wine. Lots of wine. Get ready to shake things up. Here's Caitlin. Hello, Vinoes. Welcome to Off the Vine.

I'm your host, Caitlin Bristow. I had the chance to sit down with a woman who walked so we could run the first bachelorette ever whose recap you probably saw a week ago on The Bachelor's greatest seasons on ABC. She's also an inspiration and example to everyone

who goes on the show and she's been with her husband, Ryan, for almost two decades. It's the true like true fairy tale love story that the franchise needs. Today she's here to talk about what she's been up to what it was like rewatching the season back, her social

media and how she uses her platform and we answer some questions so please welcome to the podcast trista sutter i am podcasting from my bed today because i make i make myself a promise that every sunday i'm going to be like the biggest piece of shit ever and just like not move from my bed and so i'm i'm uh keeping my promise to myself i'm staying in bed i've got the dogs on the bed i am in a sweatsuit and i'm not going to lie i have a bit of a headache today because one of my girlfriends is going through something so we had a couple drinks last night and uh yeah i'm just i'm just there today i literally just ordered fazoles and donuts at the same time i haven't had fizzoles in so long oh my gosh the breadsticks the breadsticks are everything um and just so you know my notes are on my

phone so i'm not like on my phone while i'm talking to you i'm oh i wouldn't think that no i get it anyways how are you doing today better than me i'm sure i'm good i slept in um i ran some errands i got ready because we have friends in town and yeah all is good all is good we i don't know if you saw my story last night but we chased a bear in our neighborhood oh yeah cinnamon it was crazy it was so exciting we always see there but our friends were over for dinner and they had never seen a bear and they've lived here for like two years so it's been like on their list and so we heard this woman across the street banging on pots and pans and we were like what's going on like what's happening and max was like there's a bear and so I ran out to get my

friend who was outside and we proceeded to chase the bear all around the neighborhood what do you mean chase it like in a car yeah yeah yeah we got in her car and we went to like try to find it and it was so much fun and so exciting and I mean I love seeing wildlife it's yeah kind of my jam yeah I mean are you not scared of bears at all no honestly the one that uh comes around and sniffs out and eats our trash um he's really friendly and it's because he's and by friendly have I ever like gotten into a brawl with him no um but like he shakes your hand when he go to take out the trash? Yeah, hey, what's up?

We named him cinnamon. So he was in our neighbor's garage, which would freak me out if I came downstairs and he was in our garage. But he's usually, you know, far enough away where I'm not worried. And honestly, he just wants the trash. So he wants nothing to do with humans. Is it a grizzly bear or black bear? No, it's a, it's actually, well, it's funny.

brown but a guy who like was in on the chase last night was saying that he's a black bear that's like cinnamon but i don't know if that's possible so he looks brown but i'm hearing he's a black bear so i don't know okay that's i keep the stories i loved watching the stories because i too love wildlife but a bear would have scared the crap out of me if i was like i would have chased it in my car for sure just not um i'm glad you weren't doing it on foot uh and you're probably at a point with your kids now where you can, like on a Sunday, you can sleep in because they can take care of themselves. How nice is that? Actually, I, during quarantine, that's kind of part of my confession. Let's dive right in.

Yeah. Confessed to me, Trista. So during quarantine, I, you know, I posted on social about how I, how I felt like a failure as a parent, and it was kind of a consistent feeling, not only because I had broken my ankle, you know, in February, and it started, you know, in March, but we slept in pretty much every day, and because the kids didn't have, like, a schedule for school. They just had to get their stuff done. So we slept in and, um, we slept in and, um,

I proceeded to, when I woke up, I would get them breakfast and then I would play video games while they did their work. I was just really good at parenting during quarantine. Wait, what video games were you playing? Oh my gosh. I am like a game addict and I'm so mad at myself for even starting any because I know better because if I get on video games, I will not stop. um so the two biggest ones well also i was playing words with friends scrabble you'd be my friend

on words with friends i love that game oh yay i'll look for you yeah i'll send you i'll send you my username got it so words with friends scrabble and then um candy crush which is super embarrassing for me to even admit but candy crush and this game called block you doc you it's like sudoku and tetris kind of combined. Oh my gosh, fun. Yeah, but that's that's amazing. No, it's, I mean, I'm like, I get more addicted to like Donkey Kong and Mario Car, like I'm so into those games. Question for the Vino's. Did you know that right now, Geico is offering an extra 15% credit on car, motorcycle, and RV policies? That's 15% on top of the money Geico could already save you. So what are you waiting for? Your dog to make you breakfast in bed with some Belgian waffles and a fresh fruit.

compote. Well, as nice as that sounds, that's probably never going to happen. But at least there's never been a better time to switch to Geico. Save an extra 15% when you switch by October 7th. Visit geico.com to learn more. But I actually did want to talk to you about your social media because, I mean, we all know I like open and honesty and being raw and vulnerable on social media. And you have been with your followers about things that, you know, but not always being perfect, struggles as a parent, and everything going on in the world. Why is it important to you to share the bad with the good and what do you hope people learn by following you? I think it's really important to share all facets of who I am, not just the good.

I think that's a pitfall of social, of Instagram, because people are filtered. People are sharing the best moments of their lives and we don't see the failures, the vulnerability. much the sadness, the reality. And I think, you know, for me, human connection is, and maybe animal connection too, is the best part of life. And I love connecting to like-minded and even not like-minded people. I just like connecting to people. and I feel like if I share my true self with people, it's hard and it puts me out there in a way that

nothing else does because I feel like I will get judged and not that they're not judging me for the good stuff too, but I just feel like I'm getting judged. But you know what? I feel like it's more important than the judgment and it's a way for us to all connect and relate to each other. So that's why I share it because I feel like my followers appreciate feeling like they can relate and feeling like they're not alone. Yeah, that's, that's, I mean, that's what I get from when I do those honest posts too. Like, it's nice to not feel alone myself, but also to know that it's helping other people feel like they're not alone in something. And it could be something so simple, like, even like just admitting to people that I crush Fazzoli's and lay in bed on a Sunday and don't move.

Like they're like, okay, good. I don't feel useless today. Like from from little things like that to bigger things that, you know, are a little bit deeper. But that's the thing about social media. And I talk about this so often on the podcast about how, you know, it's, it's people are always showing the highlight reals and how hard that is to to scroll through. And even just knowing, even knowing like this morning, I was scrolling. rolling and I was like going down one of those dark holes and like something I practice constantly to not do and I knew I was doing it and I kept going and I then I'm just like shoving my

mouth with pasta and eating donuts and I was like and then I was like why are I do this to myself like I'm the happiest I've ever been I'm like in a good place I've been eating healthy and working out like give yourself a break on a Sunday case. Eileen. I was just going to say that. Give yourself a break. I have a really hard time with that giving myself grace. And one of my best friends is really good at reminding me that I need to give myself that grace in the moments where I feel like a failure. Because it's been happening a lot. I definitely not only just the video games. I mean, the video games is kind of silly, but I just feel like I haven't been present. I feel like I haven't been on top of everything. And part of it is

just being depressed from not being able to see my friends, being out of our element, being scared of what's going on in our world, and not having the right things to say, and just putting all of this pressure on me, as you probably know, I'm a perfectionist. And when I can't do it perfectly, I feel like I get paralyzed, you know, I'm like, oh, my God, I'm going to be really bad at this or I'm sucking at this, so I'm just not going to do anything. And so I kind of shut down. And I know it's not like a funny, a funny confession, but it's just my reality. Yeah. No, no, I appreciate your honesty. And have you found anything that helps you come out of that or makes it better through a day?

Like, is there anything that you do that helps? Well, I started walking. So my ankle surgery happened in the beginning of February, and I was doing physical therapy, and I no longer have physical therapy because my insurance cuts us off at 20 visits, which is for an entire year. So if you break an ankle or have back surgery or have back pain or whatever and you want to go to physical therapist you can't or you're just paying on your own so i i basically once my physical therapy ran out i stopped going and um like two three weeks ago i decided enough is enough

you have to get your butt out and actually move one of my one of my good friends her name is kelly wolf and she's a um a life coach and she she preaches and i say preach in a in a positive way. She preaches what's called flow, finding love over worry. And three of her tenants are move, munch, and oh gosh, what's the third? I can't think of the third. But move is one of them. And I just felt like I needed to get out and move. And the second that I did it, I felt so much better. I've been kind of limping around though. My leg is hurting. So I don't know if I did too much of it um but i know that i need that activity um to be able to to give back to myself get out and enjoy the beauty of the outdoors and and feel like i'm doing something for just me so

that i can fill my bucket in order to get back to other people oh i love that that's i like that um can you say that again the feel love over worry is that what it is yeah find um she preaches flow which is finding love over worry and it's funny because her last name actually well you might well you might know him um did you watch party of five or is that too going like you were probably too young no i know i mean i know the show i didn't watch it though so he was bailey on party of five his name's he's he's on a show called nancy drew now and you would probably recognize him i know who that is yeah yeah so she married him she was actually from the real world, which is fun.

But she, it's their back, sorry, their last name is spelled backwards. So their last name is Wolf. So it's Flo. And she figured that she would use it as part of her career in life coach, life coaching. Is that what you call it? I don't know what it's called. Yeah, life coaching. That's, I mean, one of my girlfriends is a health and wellness coach, which is probably

very similar but that's that's so like like even for myself well minus if it's on a Sunday because I won't move but even for myself if I feel myself going into a depression um and again I feel guilty a lot of times when I have depression because I feel like I have nothing to be depressed about like even before the pandemic I would get like the false guilt of why why should I be depressed but I mean you can't control it um and even for me it helps myself just to take the dogs for a walk around the block like and for some reason it seems like such a big chore to go do that and then you get out and you're like why is this so hard this is like beautiful and it makes me feel better and i mean you live in such a beautiful place with like your views are insane so it must just be

you know and that's something that that fills your bucket like you said and and i love that you make that important because you know that's how you give back as if your bucket is full totally i i i need to do more of it. You know, honestly, during quarantine, another big thing for me was any Zoom call. Like, so the Zoom calls that we did with all the Bacheloretts, just our text messages, talking to anyone, like just connecting with my friends or my family, I need that, I need that connection. It's really a big part of who I am. And if I'm not getting it, and, not able to hug people and not able to just see them from afar. It's really, it's really hard. So thank you for being part of what has gotten me kind of out of, out of my depression

during, and not to say that I'm like clinically depressed because you're right. I feel the exact same way. I have an incredible life. I have so much to be thankful for. And I freaking wrote a book about gratitude and how it can make your life better. I mean, come on. It's stupid. But you're right. Like when it's part of your chemistry, it's hard to get past that. So thank you for being part of that solution for me and always being my friend. I'm always here for you. And I love our chats off podcast chats. I love our on podcast chats too. But I love when like a little FaceTime and see the kids. And I love that so much. Let's take a break. We all know that everyone, including myself, has stuff they don't use just lying around the house.

Clothes we never wear an old phone in a drawer somewhere. Personally, I do think I have some really amazing clothes in my closet that I know I'm not going to wear anytime soon because, okay, because it's been yours. But I just haven't brought myself to say goodbye yet. Anybody else feel me? Well, luckily, I found out about an app called Mercari to sell my stuff and make more space in my house. It's the fast and easy way to declutter your home. In just minutes, you can download Mercari, take picks of all your stuff you don't use. Or maybe it no longer brings you joy. Anybody else say goodbye to the things that don't bring them joy anymore? I thank them for their time and I say goodbye. You add a description and it's listed just like that. Once it's sold, Mercari

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Before we go into rewatching your season, well, this is part to do with that, but why the hell did they show so much of Alex? Like, that was freaking so weird because he didn't even want to, like clearly he didn't want to be a part of that because he wouldn't, you know, answer their calls about doing an interview. And I'm like, we just wasted so much time of what could have been Trista's season on Alex who wants nothing to do with the show.

Yeah, I was definitely bummed out about it. Because when they approached me, it was, we're going to show your season. It wasn't, we're going to show a combination season of The Bachelor and the Bachelorette, although they mentioned that they would be showing part

of The Bachelor just to kind of show how I got to The Bachelorette. So when they came to me about it, it was more that they were going to feature Ryan and I and our love story. And I honestly, I don't even know,

I don't think they showed any of my dates with Ryan. They showed like a really brief moment of our Seaworld date when he was reading me the poem. And then they showed our engagement obviously. And they showed him in the background on our group date. But it wasn't about he and I. And I hate to complain about it like publicly because I'm I'm really thankful that they showed any of my season because it was really fun but I do have to say that I was really excited to kind of show blakesley the highlight reel of of me and Ryan's journey and and I really wasn't able to do that I don't think it was as it was kind of anticlimatic um for her to watch because I think that she was she was expecting to see

a lot more of, of her and her daddy. I do, I was excited to see like the where are they nows with, um, the people from the first bachelor. But to me, like, I have been loyal to the franchise for, for almost 20 years for as long as I've been involved with the show. Um, and, and he disappeared. He doesn't return calls. He doesn't, like, he is off social media because he doesn't want to be out there, and that's totally respectable. I completely get it that he wants to not have anything to do with the franchise. But the fact that he doesn't want anything to do with the franchise, and I have been pretty loyal, is just kind of a bummer.

Well, that's, first of all, you're allowed to be bummed out about that because I was, and I'm not you. I was bummed out too because I just felt like I was looking forward to the highlight reel of you and your season. And I knew that you were watching with Blakesley and that that's, you know, that would have been so nice to watch back and see those precious moments. I mean, I was bawling my eyes out at the end of the proposal and everything. But that was the sweetest moment. But I wanted so much more of that from your season with him because, I mean, one, you were the first bachelorette and you're still with him. You have two kids.

Like, it's the most beautiful story to come out of that franchise. and I just wanted to see so much more of it. Yeah, I definitely did too. But that's, you know, that's selfish, you know, of me to want that. I just, I would have loved to see more of our love story. I don't think that's selfish at all. I totally agree with you. But what did Blake's Lee think watching it?

I just love her so much. Oh, my God. She loves you. She, it was really interesting. actually to watch because, you know, I kissed, I think Russ on there. I kissed Alex. It's weird. Like, I never saw my mom or my dad kissing anyone else besides each other or my dad. Or my dad kissing my stepmom. You know, like, it's just weird. You don't want to see your parents making out with anyone, let alone somebody who's not in your family. So my friends were over and they were like,

so blakesley what do you think and they were asking your questions all through it and she's like eh and like she's usually a talker and she was i think excited to watch with all of us and you could tell it wasn't it wasn't something that she thoroughly enjoyed yeah i mean i i couldn't put myself to watch my i can't even stand when my parents like when my mom and my stepdad kissed or my dad and my stepmom i'm like eh right i know i know so And she's only 11, so to have to, like, watch your mom and, you know, kissing other guys. It's just weird. It's just weird.

I mean, I'm super great that in time she will be, too, because it's how she was created. Let's be honest. Hey, honest. Or if I'm being honest. So, you know, I think that she'll appreciate it one of these days. But I think to watch, to watch it and little parts of it. But that's why I was so excited to watch it because I thought that it was just going to be more focused on me and Ryan. And I knew there would be other parts.

You know, I knew that they would show Charlie and I, and I knew that they would show The Bachelor. And, but, you know, I don't know. Are you still friends with any of the guys? Bob Kinney. Yeah, love Bob. He's the best, right? I know. I love Bob.

really just bob i mean i've talked to jamy blythe who's the guy who had like the the white teeth where you go ding you know great smile um and i've seen i've talked to him over the years but not in a really long time um and we right we ran into russ i can't even remember where it might have been here a long time ago charlie we just heard through the grapevine um he's we've got friends of friends mutual friends um and we heard that he was happy and stuff but no i haven't i haven't really stayed in touch and it's you know it's more so to respect ryan and you know make it be all about him yeah that's like yeah i mean i can't imagine well i've been in the other way i guess I've been in the other situation, but I didn't end up with that person.

And I always think I don't know if I would have been able to do it the other way around because that's just, I don't know, that's something. You mean like if Sean had been The Bachelor and he had chosen you. Right. Got it. Yeah. And, and you know, like hook it up with all these other girls. Like I totally understand how people do have such a hard time with it.

I mean, whether you hold on to anger or let it go and make it work, like you guys have obviously made it work, but it's still got to be so hard. and like something that you just never want to experience. Oh, yeah, really hard. And honestly, he answered, so we did an interview, I think it was our GMA interview after they re-aired our season. And one of the questions was, how did you make it work? And Ryan answered it differently than I'd ever heard him answer it.

And he said that, you know, when you're together after the show, the lead gets a lot of attention and is asked to do tons of interviews. I mean, I remember being in a hotel room and they called up to the room and they said, and Ryan answered and they said, hi, Mr. Wren, and Wren is my maiden name. Like they called him my maiden name. And that's just how it was. Like I feel like there's a lot of focus on the lead and the person that they chose sometimes feels left out or doesn't feel as important.

And he said that one of the big reasons that he feels like we made it is that I was able to prioritize him and his feelings and his needs above the excitement of, you know, there were certain things that I did without him, like, go to the Super Bowl. And to this day, he still, like, holds it against me. But I couldn't go with him because we couldn't be together at the time. So I think it's really important for the lead to make sure that the person that they chose feels just as important as all the exciting things that are happening alongside, you know, or to both of them. That's just so who you are, you know. You always prioritize the right people and make them feel special.

I try, but I definitely fail sometimes. Well, of course, because none of us are perfect. you've got to fail sometimes but that's cool that he acknowledges that and that he felt like and that's special that you heard that for the first time and you're like oh that's i know after almost 17 years of marriage i was like wow i have and we've been asked that question a lot like that's the number one question that we've been asked why are you a success story yeah and i've never heard him answer it like that um you know i've heard him answer like she she she made the move with me even though um you know she was getting these offers to do hosting gigs in L.A. and New York and whatever. So, you know,

I've heard him answer it like that, but never that it was like me, you know, prioritizing him. So that felt good. Right. Yeah. That's, I mean, that's, that's really beautiful. This week's off the vine is brought to you in part by Carefree Breathe, which you guys all need to check out if you haven't already. We all know I'm open about the time of the month, as we all should be. Carefree breathe makes that visit from Ant Flow so much better and less stressful because they offer a line of skin-friendly pads and pantiliners that go beyond leak protection to keep your skin dry and irritation free in your most sensitive area. What I love about these pads is that they are tested by dermatologists and free from fragrances, dye, and harsh irritants. I'm trying to be mindful of what I put on my

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store or CVS. You guys have gone on to do a few other shows like you did, marriage boot camp and Fear Factor and you were on Dancing with the Stars. I'm so excited. I think a lot of people, you know, because I made such a big stink a while ago about like the women not being able to go on and the bachelor is always getting the chance, but you were the first Bachelorette and then you went on Dancing with the Stars right after, right? Was it right after? No, no, no, no. It wasn't right after.

The Dancing with the Stars was not a show until later, until way after, like a few years after my season. I think it was 2000, maybe it was two or two or three years after my season had ended. And I was still in touch with Andrea Wong, who was in charge of non-scripted television or whatever that division is in ABC and she reached out to me and basically she was like you're doing this show and I was like what like Caitlin it was not a thing like ballroom dancing in the United States for someone who was like me who focused on like hip hop it was a it's a it's a big thing obviously in like Utah and you know a lot of people focus on ballroom dancing

but I had never had any experience with it and I think a lot of America hadn't either so they were taking this huge risk in bringing the show over from I think it started in England and they were taking this huge risk and she's like you are doing it she really didn't even give me like an option

I had an option I had a choice but I didn't feel like I had a choice I felt like she was calling me saying you're doing it choice. And I'm so glad I did. I mean, I really wish I would have stuck around a little longer because one of my claims to fame is that Evander Holyfield beat me in a dancing competition. Yeah, really? So there were only six of us back then. It was, it was Rachel Hunter, the like supermodel,

Joey McIntyre, boy band, Evander Holyfield, Kelly Monaco, and John O'Hurley from Seinfeld and other things. But I'm so glad I did it because it was a great experience. I just kind of wish that it would have been later so that the show, like, I don't know why, but I happen to be on the first, like, season of a lot of shows like The Bachelor, The Bachelorette, Dancing with the Stars. And then Marriage Boot Camp, we were on the first season of that one, too, for some reason. So I go into

these shows not knowing what to expect. Right. And yeah, it was a really fun show. You're going to have so much fun. I cannot wait. Oh, I'm so excited. And then, yeah, because I've heard some kind of nightmare stories about the filming of Marriage Boot Camp, but I don't like, Yeah. And you were the first season. So obviously you didn't have anyone to talk to before to get prepped. But yeah, I've heard some stories about that one that it's, I mean, it's two weeks of filming, right? But it feels like two years of like being manipulated. Yeah. That's tough. Yeah. I mean, it was it was honestly such a great experience for us. And we learned a lot. But it is intense. And we had little kids at the time who we had to leave at home with grandma and grandpa. And so that was hard. But yeah, we have great friendships from it to Gretchen Rossi and J. Wow and Roger. Oh, that's awesome. Did you really feel like you, like it was good counseling? Like, do you feel like you guys really took something out of it?

Oh, yeah, for sure. The people who did it were the people who started marriage boot camp. Like the whole story behind it is kind of cool. What was his name? Who's the kiss guy who's married to Shan? and she used to be jean simmons that's him um there was he had a reality show and the producers uh wanted to bring in these marriage boot camp counselors and do like they did one show on it and they ended up putting her putting him in a coffin so she had to say his you like act out his eulogy

and it was really meaningful um and so they were like we need to do a whole about that this. So that's how it started. And we did something similar in that they painted me. I have this photo of me in the makeup for it. So they painted me to look like I had been, I was dead. And Ryan had to walk into this makeship morgue and pull me out of the morgue and see me laying there looking like I was dead. And it was really meaningful for us too. Because when do you ever put yourself in that situation where you truly have to think about your partner dying and how much they mean to you and what you would say to them. That was actually one of my dates.

It was kind of more humorous than that. It wasn't as serious. But one of my dates, I had to lay in a coffin and all the guys had to, like, say what their last words. On your season? Yeah, it was the weirdest. It was in Ireland. I'd delay in a coffin.

And Chris Harrison was like, Caitlin. is dead and it was like pretty morbid oh my gosh i do not remember that i mean i've watched every single show of the franchise and every every every spinoff every everything and i just don't remember that holy how yeah isn't it a crazy that's a crazy experience because no one you don't do it on a day-to-day basis because it's morbid but when you have to go through it it actually really gets you in tune with your feelings yeah yeah i think like for you guys it was probably a little more serious mind was kind of a joke but that you do get to say like all the things that you would want to say to somebody if that was to happen and then it's then you really get to know you know

how somebody really feels about you and and and the impact that you have on their lives so I like that that's I mean it is morbid but it's a great practice totally it was a good learning experience yeah yeah we'll be back with more off the vine with Caitlin Bristow the related podcast. My name is Carly Bible. And my name is Amanda Bible. And we are two sisters that are obsessed with inner and outer beauty and everything in between. We hope to inspire you and bring you behind the scenes to discuss all things related to our lives. And nothing is off limits. You can download new episodes every Thursday on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and Podcasts One. Vine with Caitlin Bristow.

I've got a few questions from listeners that people really want to ask you. And I was saying because you've kind of, you've done like the rounds of Bachelor podcasts, right? You've done a few of them. And so I was like, okay, what questions have people not asked her? So some people, I don't know if you've already answered these, but some of the questions are, Daniela Esposito says, what advice would she give her 25-year-old self knowing what she knows now? You know, I haven't been asked that in a really long time. So good question, Danielle Esposito.

But basically, I think I've actually thought about that. And I think I would just say stay the course and be true to yourself because even though, you know, there have been some not so great things that have happened to me in my past being cheated on, you know, my parents getting divorced, you know, that kind of stuff. and not great relationships and I always think back I think of that song Bless the Broken Road by Gosh, who's it by? You know what I'm talking about.

What? Is it Brooks and Dunn or no? No, it's, oh gosh, I cannot think of it. But it's Rascal Flats. Rascal Flats. Yes, thank you, Elizabeth. Thank you. So I always, I think of the song Bless the Broken Road because there are some not so great things that have happened to me, but all of those things, including having my heart broken on national television, led me to Ryan and to our family.

So I wouldn't want to change a thing because I feel like it would have like a butterfly effect, you know, and actually maybe get in the way of me. meeting Ryan and having our children. So I would say stay the course and be true to yourself. I love that. And I love that you think of that song because it's so true when people are going through all these hard times, it's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel or like why things would happen and, you know, just it's hard to stay positive through some of those times and think it's going to happen for a reason. But it always does. It always seems to work out and be like, okay, that's why. I feel the exact same way. I want to pose it to you. What would you, what would you say because of what happened with Sean and everything and now that you've found Jason like what would

you say to your 25 year old self? I would probably want to say the same thing like as cliche or cheesy as that is to say that things happen for a reason like all every hard time I've gone through since I mean same thing my parents divorce to certain things in my life like every single hard thing that I've gone through has made me have the most growth. and has made me like change and evolve and grow the most what was from the hard times so i would probably say like sit in the fields of the hard times and be depressed and talk about your feelings and you know don't try and just like brush things under the rug like really feel your feelings and just um keep on doing what you're doing because it will lead you to the

right place as long as you're being authentic and a good person being a good person is so important It's so simple and so important. I totally agree, especially in this world that we're living in. Oh, God. I know. I mean, definition of Sunday scleries for me today. I was up at six in the morning because there's a thunderstorm. And my mind just went to terrible places of like, this is the longest I've gone without seeing my family and like certain friends.

And then I'm just reading all this stuff about like, you know, the virus and certain things. And I'm like, oh, my gosh. Like, I just went dark this morning. and it's funny it's so overwhelming but it's funny because i've been doing a couple instagram stories obviously and it jason is in buffalo right now he drove there um and everyone's like how long did that take holy holy yeah it was 11 hours and he did it he just did it like straight shot went straight through and everyone's like where's jason i'm worried and i'm like guys just because quarantine we've like had together every second and then the second you're not with them

everyone starts to panic, but we're okay. I know. Okay. Emily Holden says, what is your opinion on the differences slash similarities between Bachelorette then and now? Seems like it could feel like worlds ago, but it's so similar at the same time. It's true. There are a lot of really similar things. Lauren Zima interviewed us.

I think she did too for you, for you guys after your show for entertainment tonight. And she was saying that she was shocked by how. how many things are the same, like Chris coming up and saying, you know, this is your final rose. A lot of the vernacular, obviously, if that's a word, is that a right word? I was like, ooh, that's a big word. I don't know it. I think a couple things that are big changes were high definition.

That's a huge one. We had date boxes on The Bachelor, and then on the Bachelor. and then on the bachelorette, the guys were handed a VH, a VCR tape, and they had to put in a VCR tape in a VHS, and it was like my little video message to them on what would be happening on the dates. And then we had like this contemplation room where all the guys' pictures were in picture frames, and you had to like stand there and look at their picture longingly. And then you had a little sit down,

with Chris before, which I feel like they should bring that back. I love more Chris Harrison. I was just going to say that, yes. Great minds. And then, so the, oh, the video messages, that's what I was going to say. So the guys had to do a video message before the rose ceremony. They did this video message kind of on their date, and then they showed me the video messages before the rose ceremony, which I think was really cool.

like connect us to. And then just the timing. We tape for six weeks. I think they tape for 12 now. They travel to really great places. Mine season, we didn't. Oh, yeah, because I guess they didn't have the budget yet. Yeah.

So there, yeah, there's lots of changes. Social media is probably the biggest one. But everyone knows that one. Yeah. Actually, someone asked you, I don't know who it was, but I saw it in there. if you are glad that the social media wasn't a big thing in your day or if you feel like you missed out on that, like you feel like you got jipped. You know, I definitely, so it's kind of a mixed bag.

So we had message boards back when it was my season. And ABC.com had these message boards so you could go on the message boards. You could share your opinion, which, of course, there was lots of hatred and lots of lots of people going on there just being critics for no reason other than just to judge me or whomever. So I definitely experienced the hatred part of social media in a way. They couldn't contact me directly through like direct messages, but I went to the message boards and read everything because I was curious and had to know.

So that was definitely a part that I wouldn't have wanted to experience. but let's be honest like people come on the off the show like the recent season I don't I don't even know I don't have any numbers for you but if someone comes off the show

they're immediately at like a million followers or whatever and I just passed 300,000 but you know I do you know spokesperson work I do hosting every now and then And, like, I make a living off of social media.

So it would be, you know, that's my livelihood now. It allows me to be a stay-at-home work mom and be home with my kids, even if I'm a failure sometimes. But it allows me to take them to school and pick them up from school when school's in session and take them to all of their things and, you know, all the things that go into what my job entails. So it's a huge benefit, and I would be lying if I said that having a million, two million, whatever followers wouldn't help. It would because I do work with different companies.

So, yeah, I mean, it's like my business. And I'm never going to share anything that's not authentic to who I am or organic for me, my brand, my family, you know. So I am very picky when it comes to the partnerships that I get involved with. But I do partner with companies. So, yes, we were paid a million dollars for the wedding. And I know people would say, like, well, you don't have social media, but you got paid a million dollars. True story.

I did. And that was a really great thing. It allowed Ryan and I to start our lives together. But what people don't think of is that, you know, in a million dollars, you're getting taxed at least 35% or whatever it was. So there goes that money. And then I had to give 10% to an agent. I had to give 10% to another agent and that other, or a manager,

that manager sued me. So I was in a lawsuit because he sued me for 20%, which he did not agree to, verbally. So I went through this huge lawsuit and ended up winning in the end. But the money that it costs for the lawsuit, like so it it wasn't necessarily like people are like aren't you a millionaire you got paid a million dollars to do the one well everyone just thinks it was like a million dollar cash raining over you and like all yeah totally that's a picture you know i i'm sitting under my money tree

just picking money off every day um so no it wasn't like that and you know it did but it did allow Ryan and I to start things off. Great. We're in the same house that we've been in ever since we before we were married. We haven't moved. You know, so it, yeah, I social media, it's a mixed bag because there are good things. There are bad things. Of course, I'm happy that I don't have to deal with the negativity of having a million or two million followers. I mean, you still have a lot of followers. It's not like you have 300 followers. You still have a lot. I know. I know. Definitely not complaining about my followers, especially because I haven't, I feel good about the fact that I've never paid for a follower. I will never pay for

a follower. The people who follow me, I would say 95% of them are positive people. Like, they actually genuinely want to know kind of what's going on in my life and hear my opinions on things. So I love my followers. I'm so so thankful that I do have the ones that I do. Yeah, you do have kind ones. It's so, it's so great to see, though, because like, look at the impact that you have made on people from your time on the season to now. Like, people still are just so invested in who you are as a person and, like, want to keep up with you. And that's, you know, a testament to just who you are. And I know you're a perfectionist, but have you ever met a perfect parent? Never have. Never will.

so don't don't be too hard on yourself i've been in the presence of you and your family you guys are just so precious and your house is so i always say this to you i don't know why i'm like just so comforted when i'm in your home because it it feels like a home and you guys have such a beautiful family and i just adore you and i just was so blown away watching your season again because i know i watched it when it was on and rewatching it just maybe be like holy shit you were a badass back then you were you still are now but you were like you were like you were like you were so honest and real and fun and like true to yourself and you were the first bachelor's and I feel like that bar is still set so high like I don't know if anyone has even

come close to the kind of bachelorette you were it was so great to watch you're the best I mean your your comments like I I'm just so thankful for you and and how you are so giving and willing to talk, even on your stories. Like, I feel like there are many people who I'm friends with who have massive followings, and they choose not to share about things about certain people. And I feel like I'm one of those certain people because I don't have the million followers. You know, I'm not like the most popular anymore. And so,

I feel like any support I get is it really means a lot. And to hear you saying the sweet things that you said about the re-earing, it just meant a lot. I definitely went into The Bachelor and The Bachelorette wanting to be honest and wanting to be kind and wanting to be humble. Like Ryan has taught me so much about being humble and kind and I try to emulate him now. But back on the show, I was just trying to get through it the best way I knew how that was just to be true to myself. So, but thank you for recognizing that. Well, yeah, it's incredible. It's still like people all over the world know who you are because you were, it was such a good choice for the first bachelorette.

And I just thank you for being on the podcast and sharing and being. so open and vulnerable and I just love you so much and make sure you tell everyone where they can find you so we can get those followers up. No, I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I mean, I'm not kidding about telling us where to find you, but. I'm at Trista Sutter and really, I really kind of just focus on Instagram, but I went down a Twitter rabbit hole the other day. I never go on Twitter anymore. I just automatically, you know, my stuff, as I'm sure yours does most of it, goes automatically from Instagram to Twitter. But I love Twitter.

I want to bring Twitter back because everyone goes on there and has these awesome one-liners, including you, like Sean Lowe's really good how they do. J.P. Rosenbaum, I feel like there's so many great people on Twitter that I just need to go on there whenever the goat seasons or once Claire's season or Matt James or whatever, because everyone has such great one-leaders and it just makes me laugh. It is. It's so funny to go through to follow along with Twitter while those shows are airing. It's the best.

Oh, the best. But anyway, thank you so much for having me. You know, I just adore you. And anytime you want to chat. Yes. I'm here. I love our little random FaceTime's in chats. But thank you so much.

Okay, so I'm going to give away an Instagram. I hope I pronounce her name right. It's Tunday Oyanen. I hope that's how you say it. Anyways, I love following her. So my Instagrammy goes to her, and she's a Peloton instructor and so much more. Her Instagram is at Tune 2, the number two, Tunday. She is, of course, Peloton instructor, but she's also an international fitness model,

makeup artist, among many other titles, and she's so incredibly inspirational. She's made me cry on the bike before. and one of the only people who also can make me work on the bike. So shout out to Tune Day. Also, I wanted to give a shout out to a couple of black-owned businesses that my vinos have recommended. So one is Darling and Co. The spelling is D-A-R-L-Y-N-G, which Emily sent our way. Darling and Co makes everyday essentials for babies and for kids.

Emily said that she just discovered this company and is soon to be a mom, so she's excited to try the products. And another one that was recommended is called Pottery by OSA, which you can find the same name on Instagram at Pottery by Osa. The company was founded by a woman named Osa who started by taking community pottery classes and quickly became obsessed. And you guys, her work is so beautiful. It's so incredible. Definitely recommend everyone checking it out. I'm Caitlin Bristow. I'll see you next Tuesday.

Thanks for listening to Off the Vine with Caitlin Briscoe. Get new episodes every Tuesday exclusively on podcast.1.com, the Podcast One app, and subscribe on Apple Podcasts. Who's that with OTV?