Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Violet Benson | How to Bounce Back from Hitting Rock Bottom!

Episode Date: December 5, 2024

#795. In this raw and powerful episode of Off the Vine, Kaitlyn Bristowe sits down with her good friend Violet Benson, the voice behind Almost Adulting and Daddy Issues, to explore the darkest moments of their lives and how they emerged stronger. From unexpected robberies and self-doubt to rock-bottom realizations, Violet opens up about her personal struggles—including a breakup, battles with self-worth, and even a heated argument with God. They dive into the importance of trusting the process, learning from failures, and understanding the powerful role our thoughts play in shaping our reality. Whether you're navigating your own low or just need a reminder of hope, this episode shows you're never alone in your struggles—and everything will work out for a reason. Tune in for an inspiring conversation that will motivate you to keep pushing forward. If you’re LOVING this podcast, please follow and leave a rating and review below! PLUS, FOLLOW OUR PODCAST INSTAGRAM HERE! Thank you to our Sponsors! Check out these deals! BetterHelp: Visit BetterHelp.com/VINE today to get 10% off your first month. Chewy: Don’t forget gifts for your pet this holiday season! Take advantage of amazing deals and shop my personal favorites at Chewy.com/vine. Skylight...See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Okay, let's talk about the original enemies to lovers story. Before all of our reality TV couples, before the rom-coms, we binge, there was Elizabeth Bennett and Mr. Darcy in pride and prejudice. And Audible has just dropped a brand new original that will have you completely hooked, I am. It's not just any audiobook. This is a full cast performance. So Marisa Abella, you might know her from industry, brings Elizabeth Bennett to life.

And Harris Dickinson from Baby Girl and Where the Crawdads sing is Mr. Darcy. And honestly, the chemistry, you guys, it's everything. Plus, you've got icons like Glenn Close, Bill Nye and Will Polter in the mix. Talk about a dream cast. Now, what I love is how Marissa pulls you right into Lizzie's world, her stubbornness, her wit, her messy family dynamics, and of course, her complicated feelings for Darcy. And with a vibrant new adaptation and original score by Grammy-nominated composer, it just feels so fresh and modern while still keeping that timeless Jane Austen charm.

So whether it's your first time experiencing Pride and Prejudice or you've read it a million times, you're going to fall absolutely in love all over again. So go listen to Pride and Prejudice now at audible.ca slash Jane Austen. I'm Caitlin Bristow. Your session is now starting. I have a question. Do you recycle outfits ever? Yeah. Oh, okay, good. Do you just look like I don't? No, I just, I wear, I've worn this twice. And I didn't know if that was like a faux pa thing that people are going to be like, she's already one. Okay, here's my thing about that. I paid money for it. Yeah. I'm going to wear it numerous times. Why else would I spend money on an outfit if I'm not going to wear it? Okay, thank you. I don't know why I think we should normalize recycling outfits. I can't believe that we need to normalize it. Like, when was an unnormalized? Maybe I'm just living in a delusional world of Instagram. Maybe if we take pictures, like obviously my head of. thinking, oh, if I don't, if we don't take any videos today or pictures, I'm going to wear this again. I'll wear this on Tuesday. That was just my thought process. Well, I wore this on name that tune. Okay. And then I wore it again somewhere else. I can't remember. Oh, and then when

I was in London. So I have this documented twice. Is that still okay? Are you going to be okay? Well, I am. I just don't know if the rest is of it. Who cares? Okay. Thank God. Okay. Glad we got that out of the way. How are you? I mean, I did my makeup in the car. So again, I don't know. But the Uber driver helped me decide which earrings to wear because I brought a few. What was it between? Smaller ones or these bigger hoops. And when we were arriving, there was a homeless guy right outside that door talking to himself. And I said, I'm not doing this today.

Well, because you've already done it. Tell the story. Yeah. The last time I was here, I finished my interview and I was walking back to my car. And there was a man following me. And I said, I don't want to be, I don't want to assume that he's homeless or anything. I say he could be working here and he's just hipster. because this is Hollywood.

And then he just kept following me and I just kept turning around. And then when I got to my car and opened my door, he closed the door for me. He said, that's a nice car. And I knew. And I said, yeah. And he goes, can I have some money? And I said, of course. And then I just gave him all the cash that I had.

And then I could open my door. And he said, thank you. And I said, no, thank you. I didn't even want it. I didn't even need it. I don't even know why I said that. And then he said, I have a good day. I was like, you do too, sir.

And then I just drove off. And I was like, what? Why did I say I don't need it? Kind of a pleasant interaction. Well, I think it just threw me off. Yeah. So I was just like, no, thank you. I didn't even want it.

Like, I don't even need it. Like, I was like, how can I get rid of my 20? And, like, you showed up. And I'm like, what a blessing. Literally a little wink from God there. Yeah. He didn't rob you. He just asked me for money and I just gave it to him.

But he did close the door. When I opened the door, I closed it for me. So I thought, let's not. Would you say that's your rock bottom? No, that's a great transition, but no, I would not say me giving a guy 20 bucks. Have you ever been robbed before? Yes. Whoa.

In L.A. In Centrape. Oh. Well, that sounds really pretentious. I was just there. Okay. You're so pretentious. You don't repeat outfits and you go to Centrope.

I know. I do repeat outfits. I just didn't know if it was against the rules. I did get robbed in Centropay. And it's funny because I've never been there. And my friend, well, I'm not legally allowed to talk about it, technically. But, what will happen? Because you have to sign things.

Oh, oh. But anyway. Leonardo DiCaprio, 100%. No. Oh, okay. But I spent oldest money to fly there. I pay for my flights and I only fly, I like to fly comfortably. Yes.

And before anyone judges me, I would like to note that I grew up poor. Yeah. So I'm self-made and an immigrant. Yeah. So I grew up poor and I made my money. And for me, my vice is to spend good money on flights. When I said I can make my own money, I'm going to make damn sure that I'm sitting in that first class. I'm the same.

So anyway, I spend loads of money to fly there. We arrived there. Vives started to be kind of weird between me and the other girls in the house. I pretty much get along with everyone. So for me, not to get along with someone, it's more on their end. And honestly, someone doesn't like me. It really sounds like their own issue because I can't relate. So I was just trying to be more friendly

And I guess my friendliness gave off the wrong vibe I don't know it doesn't matter So the vibe's already off And I wasn't even allowed to interact with certain people Like I literally was banned for me It was like really weird I don't know how to explain it Anyway so this one night

I'm already going through a breakup with a guy I'm not allowed to interact with certain people at the table Very weird Because you know sometimes you go on these vacations If they're especially their work vacations And you can end up with kind of like snobbish people Yeah, yeah. I'm the type of person.

I will hang out with anyone, any place. I'm just there to have fun. It's not that deep for me. Yeah. But I just was not enjoying myself at the dinner. So I just said, this was the second day. And I just said, okay, whatever. I'm not even allowed to talk to certain people.

I'm just going to go home. And. From Central Bay. I'm going to go home from the dinner to the house. Okay. So when I walked, so I got back to the house and it's through like this gate and again to the house. And the first thing that I texted to the person who rented the house for, the jobs that we were doing just for a brand you know like there's certain things I just can't say

because yeah so anyway I was in tenter pay for work okay not as an escort but like for work with like clothing and stuff I didn't say anything I know I just feel like I don't know how to explain it properly without getting it does sound like I would like you would assume because you can't say anything but I get it but anyway and when I got home the first thing I noticed was the alarm was off so that's already weird so that's the first thing I texted the alarm is off and I was still unaware of this part but there were people in the house now like the robbers were there I just didn't know because I'm deaf in my I'm deaf in my left ear yeah so and because I was just going through a breakup I was having an argument with myself so I was cussing out the guy in my own conversation with myself and

like who the fuck do you think you are you're going to talk to me like that well fuck you see what I'm going to do because you know because that's not how I'm obviously going to interact with the other person I try to keep it civil in a sense where I care how I come off always, but secretly I lose my shit often. But I keep a secret. It's very scorpia of me. So I'm cussing myself out. And obviously the people in the house heard me because I'm, and they don't know, they may have thought I was yelling at them. Pardon? Did you scare them away? Yes. So they may have thought I was yelling at them, but I was. I didn't know anyone was there. I can't hear anything. So then I go back to, and then I go to my room. My room is all the way at the end of

this house. So I'm probably, I probably missed them. That's how much I didn't pay attention to them. I probably missed them. I walk straight to my room, close the door, put my headphones on, and that's it. And then I just sat and then I just was staring at a blank space because I was with rage and I was just with my music, just staring. And then what kind of music are you listening to when you're in rage? The most depressing breakup songs. And then 20, 30 minutes later, one of the girls barges into my room and she goes we just we got robbed that's how i found out and i go what oh yeah i walk in my room's messy but i left it kind of messy so again i couldn't tell the difference did you get stuff taken from you yes and they say we got robbed and i go what and first i feel guilty

because i think were they here when i was here i don't know then we find out that the robbers were here when i was there they heard me and they were so startled by me that when because they basically start packing every single designer thing into suitcases from the girls. And then one of the suitcases when they heard me, they dropped a suitcase in the backyard and they ran off. They were like, yeah. So I basically saved one of the girls

things. All the girls... What a hero. Right. So one, no one's asking me if I'm doing okay. Because I'm like sitting there in shock to find out that I got robbed, but they were Robert, like they were there and I could have been in trouble. Yeah. So I'm just more shocked. That's how I'm processing it. None of those

girls are asking me if I'm okay. They're crying over their Chanel bags. I'm sorry, but if you're that stupid to bring Chanel bags to Europe, that's as a traveler, I've learned a long time ago, I don't not bring Chanel bags. I don't bring like fancy designer backs to Europe just in case things like this in Sandra Bay. Yeah, but as long as you carry on you all the time. But I also didn't know, okay, here's a secret that a lot of people don't know about a lot of fashion bloggers. Okay. They live a lifestyle that they can't actually afford. And a lot of them borrow things so or like pay money to borrow items for a little bit. So it's like gifted for the I didn't

understand at that time why they were crying so badly. Oh because they would owe money. Yeah. So I didn't understand so I was the only one quiet and the car the most funniest karma part was aside for me you know being okay which is what I was most thankful for was that I got robbed the least. Some of my friends asked me about it and I said God is good because I got robbed the least. That's how I know God is on my side. Not only that I not get injured, but I got robbed the least. Because one thing my mom has always told me, money comes and goes, things are just things. As long as you have your health and you're alive, that's what matters.

And so all the other girls got robbed with all their Chanel bags, their diamond watches. One of them, one of the girls had a passport in her bag. So that was gone. What do you do? I don't know. Who cares? So that happened to them But for me, what I got robbed was my jewelry

So all my jewelry got stolen A lot of it Some of it didn't And then my mic My podcast mic So I guess they wanted to start a podcast So they stole that I guess

That sounds about right Who doesn't want to start a podcast Even robbers And then they didn't Want to start a podcast And then when they were like Were you back stolen I said well no

Because there's a lock on the clock on the closet so i just locked my closet yeah and they're like and then like they don't rob shoes apparently that's a difficult resale and yeah everyone then was then also mad at me that i got robbed the least so then it was really awkward the next day no one woke me up and they went on a yacht to feel better and no woke me up for it so it was just really awkward for me and then that night and then i was there god is fair rebuking my flights i decided to just fly home because i'm like the vibes are going to be. I was like, well, now the party is just ruined. I flew all the way here and I just know the vibes are going to be so off because everyone got robbed and they're being weird about it. So I just was not, I mean, all the bags that I brought were bags that I bought on Amazon because I just always like to keep it that way. That's so smart. I got to remember that. Yeah. I mean, my jewelry and my diamonds were still stolen. I'm one of those people that just thinks bad things are not going to happen to me. Well, honestly, I just looked in a positive light. Even when I spoke about it briefly in my podcast, I really looked at it in a way where things are replaceable.

I'm so lucky. God is good. It is what it is. And it wasn't just our house. It was a sting of homes. It was on 4th of July. So all the expensive houses got robbed. So it was just silly kids.

Did they ever get caught? No. And then I booked my, I changed my flights to fly home. And then that night I went up to some of the girls I wasn't really allowed to talk to. I didn't even understand why. And I said, hey, guys, it's my last night. I'm flying out like 4 a.m. Can I go out with you guys tonight before I fly out?

And they said, we'll get back to you. And they went and talked to each other. And then they came to my room. They said, hey, listen, so we're just going to be us. Are you serious? No. And I just, like, for me, it was just so funny. I don't take things like that personally.

How do you not take something like that personally? That's fully personal. I think so highly of myself that for me. I'm so obsessed with you. First of all, my 30s. So I understand now that there's, a lot of women who compete with one another and a lot of times you're just projecting for me it's not personal because i'm not i wasn't trying to become best friends of these people it was whoever

it was in front of me i wanted to party with them yeah that's just how i have a view of going out in social life it's not that deep when people make it very deep sensitive i only will get hurt if it's someone that i love or respect or they set something that i genuinely believe is to be true so i don't love them i don't respect them because how they're acting is very So I can't respect that. I don't love them because I don't know them like that. And they've never eaten me out. So we don't have that type of relationship.

And lastly, they didn't, anything they could have said about me, I know who I am better than they would know. So how can I argue? Like, they met me what for two days? How are they going to know me better than I've known myself for 35 years? Okay. So how, let's lead into the next topic. How the hell did you get your confidence? What, I feel that we've talked about that.

I do two podcasts a week, so do you, I can't remember shit. Okay. My confidence, this is where people get confused with confidence. Confidence, it can't come from looks. If my confidence came from my looks, I would be very insecure every single day because there's always someone prettier than me and so on. My confidence comes from how I feel and the inside about myself. So, for example, as a writer, whenever I look back at my old writings or my old poems or

even when I finish a chapter for the book that I'm writing, I look at those words and I feel this pride of myself and it just makes my heart smile and I'm always very nostalgic about it and it puts me in tears because I'm just, wow, I think your soul is so beautiful and that makes me fall in love with myself. But do I like myself every single day? No, that's a difference. I sometimes like myself almost as much as I love myself during my good days, but of course I still have bad days. And recently we had that conversation where I felt that I hit rock bottom where I felt like I lost purpose. And that was very hard for me. I mean, I still loved myself kind of. Yeah. But maybe I didn't love myself. Maybe I was just willing wanting to give up.

Pardon? When you called me that time? Recently. Recently? Like a month ago? No. Oh, long in that. Okay. When is this rock bottom you're talking about? So, so I talked about it basically on my podcast. this month in October. And it was very hard for me to even want to talk about it. I, it's always feels embarrassing or uncomfortable when you feel certain emotions you're not comfortable with. But I felt that I hit rock bottom when I was feeling uninspired with my work. For me, my purpose is my job working and feeling inspired, working towards something. And with my book after I wrote around each chapters, my editor said, why don't we go in a different direction? Like, can you change your writing style? And I already wrote eight chapters. And the thought of changing my writing

style, even though she was right. Fast forward now, she was right. But back then, I couldn't see that she was right. I just felt I spent six months writing this. Yeah. So I'm going to have to redo everything. And I have to change my writing style. I don't even know how to do that. I don't think I'm capable of it. I'm not good enough writer. Why would I, why would she do this to me? and then my personal brand I apparently brands were not moving towards working with me even though I had great engagement

they felt that I didn't have clean girl aesthetic and I kind of neglected so brands were not hiring me for my personal stuff my podcast I felt uninspired and then there was something that happened in my personal life with my family that made me sad and for me I'm just

I'm generous with my kindness but I'm scarce with my love and my family is one of the few people that I love so for me to have a falling out with somebody in my family, it's like, there's only very few people that I believe they love me. And if one of them, to me, feels like doesn't love me, I'm like, there's not that many people now. Yeah. And it made me sad.

So overall, I felt like I had no drive, no purpose. This was all happening at the same time? Yeah. Yeah. And suddenly everything started to feel meek and boring. And I didn't want to go out. I don't want to hang out with anyone. I didn't care to have friends and I didn't care to work.

And having no passion about work, I was just like, well, what's the point? with life. If I have no purpose, like, why am I even here? And that's just how I felt. And I felt really, really low. And every day I was waking up and I was feeling low. And I also had very negative thoughts in my head. And the only reason I didn't move forward with those thoughts because it was more I was trying to be logical about it. I was like, well, if I wasn't here anymore, that would really upset my parents. And then just think of what that would do to my parents. Because for me, I was like, well, if I don't want to be here, I just won't be here. It's not that deep. Like, really? That's just, then like, those thoughts.

It's not seen normal to me. Yeah. You know, it was more, oh, I'm just being smart about things. Yeah. That's, I mean, I can speak to that only because I've been in the same position before where you're like, it would just be better off. I've been in that position. Yeah.

I just, what's the point? I, nothing matters anymore and I feel nothing. Yeah. And then one day, I don't know, maybe it was just the thought of my parents. And it was just, no, here, this is what it was. I reached out to a family member for. help and it felt like they didn't care and something in me changed that moment so we're on the phone and when they said something to me that was a bit condescending i just said okay and literally

like this fire ignited me the minute i said okay and that i think that explains it because when you feel rage rage is such an amazing emotion to feel a lot of times we think rage is terrible but rage is actually the only type of emotion where you move forward without second-guessing yourself. So it's the only time you're able to do that. So suddenly that moment, I said, okay, and whatever issues I was having, whether it was financial, work-wise, I sat down and I fixed it all that day. So I started working towards it and I was just like, okay, this person's dead to me. I'm going to speak to them for a while. But enough, because it's kind of this question where you ask yourself every single day is this working for me and if every day he's saying no this isn't

working for me this isn't working for me so one day you just have to wake up and you have to say like okay enough enough this isn't working for me then what are you going to do about it if you're not gonna kill yourself yeah then do something about it because it's it's boring i'm bored with myself so then i just got up and i did something just that one conversation on the phone just put this rage in me and i said this i don't need why do i think i need to depend on someone hello I've gone to this point on my own. This is not the first time where I felt low. This is not the first time where I kind of mess things up

and I put myself in a predicament. It's not for me to grow up and really do something. But while I was feeling really low, I even had this like argument with God, which was so silly. And I was trying to gaslight God like a few nights before. And I was looking at the sky and I said, do you know how many people, do you know how many people don't believe in you? And I'm still here.

And you know how many people don't believe in you? I was gaslighting you and I was like And you're him believing in you for what? Like you don't have my back you don't care So we're not speaking I'm I'm not going to believe in you anymore We're not speaking, we're done And I know it sounds silly

Because other people may not believe in God Or they believe in whatever But that's just how I felt in that moment And then a few days later It was kind of awakening where I realized that what was put in front of me was for a reason. And I don't mean to get old godly, but I do always say that God wouldn't put something

in front of you that he couldn't believe you couldn't handle. And it wasn't the first time that I kind of did something to mess up that was stressing me out on the side that I don't want to mention. It was the third time I did that. So clearly I had a pattern where I do something impulsively and then I fuck up and then I asked someone to help me figure it out. This time my family member said no. And I said, you know what?

Screw them. But also they're right. It's time for me to grow up. So I took care of things, and then I started working towards work stuff. I sat down and I started redoing the book stuff. First, of course, obviously I cried about it, just like any other, just a girl. I cried about it. But then I started getting books with a similar writing style.

That's what my editor was looking for. And I took out highlighters and I started highlighting different areas where I would notice the writing style would start to change. And I would highlight the different areas of the language because I got to learn new language. because my language was too complicated. And a lot of book writing is more simple. So, and I started memorizing it. So I'm like, okay, here, here, here. And then I just sat down and I started writing.

And I got to 40 pages. I had to delete a lot. I got to 17. And then back to 25. And then I finally dropped it down to around, I forget, maybe nine pages, which is around 4,500 word count, which is average. It should, it was a little higher than what we're looking for. Yeah.

But I kid you not when I just started writing. and I read this chapter this should have been depressing but I made it funny I made it fun I looked at it and I I felt so proud and I say you know what she was right

this is a better writing style we should have gone with this I like this so much more I'm so happy she challenged me she didn't she didn't tell me to change my writing style because she thinks I'm a bad writer she believes in me enough

that she believed that she knew that I would be capable of using a new writing style. She knew I'm a good enough writer to do that. Right. And I did. And after that, I then start working towards my personal Instagram stuff with the brands. And then fast forward, a month and a half later, I'm on the phone with my friend. And I'm complaining about a new assistant that I'm firing in a boy that I don't like anymore. And then she goes, what else is going on? I go, oh, I just got booked these two jobs today. And I like, I have this other job. I actually have

to do this past weekend. And then as I was saying, I kind of stopped myself. And I go, Wait. A month and a half ago, no one was hiring me. And here I am right now complaining about new things, not even realizing that I wanted to be in this position a month and a half. I was like ready to like release everything a month and a half ago. But how cool that you could be self-reflective on it. Because I always call myself self-aware. My therapist always goes, you're self-reflective. But that's that's a good reflecting moment, you know? Like my question is to you, how do you stay so authentic to yourself when you have other people telling you. You know, like a lot of times people, if they're being told, you got to do a different writing style when you were just, you know, being you. These brands aren't working with you. It's hard. Clean enough aesthetic or whatever it is. How do you stay authentic as a brand and to yourself?

Well, that was the hardest part. And the crazy part that I wasn't paying attention, the chapter that I was writing about, the lesson in that chapter is about if you don't know who you, be careful when you don't know who you are. Right. you feel lost because if you don't know who you are someone who's just as confused about themselves will tell you about who you are and will confuse you about your worth and that was literally the chapter was writing and yet i wasn't paying attention what was happening in my life and during my moment of feeling lost i was asking everyone to just tell me well what should my brand be who am i who should i be and i was even hiring people i was hiring i hired some 21

sorry if i was hiring a 21 year old and i even listened to her who do you think i should be as if she knows anything about life, some rich girl that her parents pay for her rent. Not there was anything wrong with that, but I'm just saying, come on, 21-year-old 35. Right. But I was so desperate. And every single person was telling me who I need to be until finally, when I was finally getting that little self-validation myself where I wrote well and I'm kind of going back into my skin and remembering who I am, I started to notice that these people are just as lost.

what am I doing listening to them I got here because I somehow figured out how to do things I'm okay with changing things but I was constantly just fully changing myself that the whole month took me of just constantly just listening to people and I was also attracting like the guy that I attracted I was feeling like shit about myself talking to him but it wasn't him it was because in that area moment in my life I was feeling so low so all it was doing was also then attracting people who were validating exactly how I felt deep down. People always match you where you are in life. Exactly.

Yes. People always match you where you are in your life. So it's not even that personal with a guy like I could give a shit less. It was more, that was my lesson I needed to learn and I needed to open my eyes that these people don't know better than me. And I remember at one point when one of the brand managers was being like, well, go hang out, go with the 21 year old. Why don't you have the 20, actually I don't like what you did here.

Why don't you have the 21 year old style you? because look, she's wearing really nice clothes. And in that moment is when I realized he doesn't know what the fuck he's talking about because that bitch is barring clothes for me. And everything she's been wearing has been my clothes. So when he said, why don't you have her style of you so you can dress like her? I was thinking, that's from my closet. Yeah.

So never mind, why did I act like everything everyone's been saying has been the gospel? Because it's not. It's not. Because they also don't know. If ever, it's so much easier to tell you what you should be doing, how you should be dressing, how you should be acting instead of me focusing on what I should be doing with my life. So, of course, everyone's the best advice giver in the world because it's easier. Well, would you want to take advice from a 21-year-old who's an assistant to you?

Like, you... I was willing to do anything. Yeah. I was desperate. Right. Until I finally got into my own skin and I realized she's a terrible employee. We're going to have to let her go. The guy's a terrible employee.

You're going to have to let him go. It's not working for me. I had to tell some of my brand managers. Okay. Enough. You've helped me enough. And they're like, are you sure? I'm like, I got it. I sat down. I did all my research. Asked Chajupiti. Hey, who do you think I? Who am I? Who am I? If you can rebrand Vila Benson, who would she be? And that, honestly, Chad Jifiti gives me the best advice. It's actually my best friend. Really? It always gives me the worst, cheesiest, dumbest stuff ever. Okay, maybe I just, I like those things. Because for me, I'm like, but that works for you. You get it. I think, too, when you build yourself back up from within and you have the confidence, that's when you can take the criticism with a grain of salt too and be like, is this constructive?

Or do I need to tell you off? Yeah. Or how can I work around? Okay, I like, let me take what I agree with. Yeah. Yeah. Take what you can and leave the rest. Take what you want and leave the rest.

That's what my sober dad always tells me. The whole thing about it is that it's a process. A, but it was so amazing. I remember when I finally recorded my episode about hitting rock bottom, I did tear up in the middle of it because it's just a thought that you forget, like, that's a crazy part when you're going through low moments or whatever feels like the lowest moment for you. Yeah. Is that you forget that this is not the first time you felt these low moments because every

time you go through it, you feel like this is the worst. Yeah. It's never been this bad. I'll never get out of it. It's never going to be okay. And then a few weeks go by, a few months go by, a year goes by, and you look back and you go, oh, everything's fine. I know. Like, everything worked out and everything that didn't work out was for a reason.

And it's just, you feel so silly. And that's why I said in my episode that I hope next time when I'm feeling low or things are not working for me, I hope I can somehow my memory remember this current moment, that this is not the first time, that this happened before and I got out of it. Well, I'm 39, and I'm here to tell you that you can get there because I am so there. This, like, somebody said something to me the other day, and I went, nobody in my past would have said that to me, which shows me that I'm growing. He was like, you really react with logic and not emotion so much, like you're very calm. And I was like, therapy is working. Like, I would have never my life thought I could react logically. And I, another time, like, something really bad happened.

where I could have catastrophes it so big and laid in bed like I usually would, which is also okay, because I've done that too. But I was like, man, I've been through so much worse. And like, this two shall pass. And I know what makes me feel good in these moments. I know it's like so much harder said than done. I'm just saying for me personally being 39 with what I've gone through in certain things, like not even close to what other people have gone through in their life. But the amount of growth that I've done to be able to get out of bed in depressive moments or to like go work out when I am feeling so rock bottom and low. I just find

these little wins every every, that's how you're doing that thing where you're falling in love with yourself. Yes. Can I just say when I get quiet like this and I'm just looking at you? It's because it's just me adoring you. Because even

just the beginning when you started talking right now and you said and this person said something that surprised me. I just always think, damn, you don't give yourself enough credit about how what a grown person you are and how loving you are inside and out. So it's always, I think that's why it takes me back for a second and I get quiet because I just wish you could see what an amazing person you are. I do if I get quiet. Like you got quiet to, that's very sweet what you just said. If I get quiet with myself and I'm not, you know,

comparing and scrolling and I do, I do have so much. confidence and love for myself because I'm like, I know who I am. And it's crazy how much noise can affect that in like, you know, the everyday life of social media. It's like people, I actually, this is so funny. I don't know how long ago this was. Maybe like six months ago I had a like spiritual reading or whatever. And I literally asked her, I was like, do I have a curse on me? And she was like, no, you don't. You just have a lot of negative gnats around you, like a lot of negative energy that want to see you fail and she cleared that energy. And I don't know if that was placebo or what, but it literally was like, I just like, it is placebo, but it still works

and it helps. So I like to read a lot of random things. But basically in the old ages, for example, when men started fear of witches. Yeah. And in the old times when a witch would put a curse on a man and she would say you're going to die and then the man dies and you just assume oh is it because she's a witch and no it's because our minds are so powerful and that's why a lot of times we don't realize that's why it's so important the thoughts that we have the words that we say about ourselves that's how we hit rock bottom because our words become our thoughts and our thoughts become reality yeah so going back to the witches back then with the witches when a witch would say you're going to die and that the man dies it wasn't because she actually cursed him.

It was because she put that thought in his head and that was as good as poison. And then the man walked around, looking around, just assuming he's going to die. And then he put himself in the situation where he ended up tripping or whatever and dying. And let me double down to that research. In Russia, they did a research on prisoners. It's Russia. So obviously, don't expect caring about people's rights. But years ago, many, many years ago, they did this test on prisoners.

prisoners. Prisoners are on death row and they basically put a bag over their head and they went through the whole process of making it seem as if these men were about to go through the death sentence and they're going to what is it called when you get on your knees and there's a big um like chopping your head off yeah so they're they were going through the whole process of getting they're about to get beheaded so this was the the research so they put bags over the prisoner's head so the have no idea what's going on and they're going through the whole process and they finally get on their knees their hands are tied they put their head on the wood thing and they're about to get murdered and then all the people all the um the guards did was with their fingers tap on the neck

that's it tap on the neck there wasn't actual sword or anything sharp actually touching them all the men died why the men died because their bodies believed they were about to die and all the stress and anxiety that was going through their body, their organs shut down and they died. So no one actually murdered them. But that like that's like that's like a yeah, that's like a next level panic attack because when you're having a severe panic attack, it literally feels like your organs are shutting down. And if you put a bag over my head and told me you're about to kill me. Yes, but you would never actually know that that could happen to your body. That your organs would shut down, including your heart and you would die. But yes, that's one extreme

situation but take that now to regular living people and this is the same thing we do to ourselves we can we can have so much anxiety in our bodies because something feels like it's the worst thing ever and i can't i can't stop thinking about it and i'm shaking on and i make myself sick and then i'm like no because bad things are happening to me because because people are cursing me that's why i'm sick versus realizing minds i'm causing everything that's happening and where is that come from there's something called negativity bias negativity bias was always meant to protect us in the old ages when we're stone people. And back then, what does negativity bias do? It's still in our brains. It's meant to help us. Back then, there would be cave people searching for food. And when

they're searching for food, if they see a lion or whatever, they stop. And their negativity bias kicks in. And it says, danger, danger. Lion's going to kill you. Walk slowly. You know, so it's always to catch danger. And that's how back then people were able to survive. Now as humans, we don't need to fear things. like that in the real world, most of us, first world countries, it doesn't really happen to us. But negativity bias still lives in our brain because it's just a part of science. It's a part of us. So we still get that, which means I can sit here and suddenly I'm like, if I'm already not feeling well about myself or doubting myself, Kelen's looking at me weird. She's giving me weird eyes. He looks like he's very bored with this whole conversation. Oh my God. Why am I even here?

I'm such a fucking loser. And that's my negativity bias confirming, validating exactly how I feel. And after this, I'm going to get mugged again. I just know it. Like, of course it's going to happen. And then a car is going to run over me. Why wouldn't it? Because my life sucks. And that just, that's it.

Negatity bias to happen. Yeah. Perfect. Because it's supposed to, back then, I was supposed to help you protect you from danger. And now you are the danger. Your mind is. So how do we fight that negativity? You have to stop yourself and you have to say, no, this isn't real.

Yeah. This is not reality. My brain is lying to me. although my brain is always doing their best to protect me my brain is not thinking with my heart my brain is just doing what it's supposed to do it doesn't know when to stop but i can yeah because i know this is not true well he's doing his job you're just doing your job i'm who i am and you guys can't actually hurt me or affect me mentally at least right physically you can't you know what i mean and if i get jumped right now as long as i give them my cash again it's going to be fine you know what i

Well, that's the power of positivity, the power of manifestation. That's where confirmation bias comes in. Confirmation bias is, it does the same thing negativity bias does. So when you're in a bad place and you think no one loves me, your brain will start to go back into what happened yesterday, even your memories. And it will change your memories. That's what you should be so careful with your thoughts. So you can go back and you suddenly a happy memory you used to have.

You'll think, no, actually, I wasn't as loved as I thought I was. When that person hugged me, they didn't hug me because they loved me. They hugged me because I felt sorry for me. I'm that pathetic. Everyone just feels sorry for me. No one loves me because they love me. I'm just a burden to everyone. And that suddenly becomes your memory.

And now, because you're trying to confirm it. Who else thinks I'm a loser? Oh, yeah. That person looked at me weird. And that's confirming everything. So you can do the opposite. You can say, no, I'm not crazy. Like, there are people who love me.

Let me confirm that. And you can go in your head and you can just start thinking, who told me they loved me the other day or my cat, even your animal. Your animal is just giving you pure love. Yes, it depends on you for food and shelter, but they still love you. Your animal is just loving you and you think, how lucky am I. You think of all these moments. And then when I'm in that moment, then I leave my house and suddenly I'm noticing, I smile at someone, they smile back.

And then I think, ah, of course everyone's smiling at me. I'm so inviting. And that thoughts suddenly confirms it because more people are smiling at me. Why? Because I'm actually smiling because, you know, the world is you pushed out. it's so interesting because we all know the power of the mind like how you can control your thoughts we all know that you can talk yourself into getting sick or anxiety or you can talk yourself out of it yet then we don't believe it in the moment we're like it's so interesting how when happy

good things happen to us we are almost too superstitious and we say well I don't want to jinx it and it's going to go away any minute now so there's no point for me to even be happy I'm not even going to overly appreciate it because I don't want to be cringe or I just, you know, it could be better. Yeah. But when something bad happens, something sad, we think this will never get better. Why is that? If we know the happiness is so fleeting, then why can we just realize for once when it's happening the sadness, anger, frustration, disappointment, those are just as fleeting. Well, if we all think about a meltdown that we've had, how much better do you feel after?

Especially if I cry. That's what I mean. like it's like a release. It's like we feel so much shame around these big emotions, but that's how you move through things. Every time, like my rock bottom was so, so, so bad and so long ago. But I also realized recently that my different rock bottom that I had was I was just too young to realize that it really affected my whole life when one of my best friends died. I didn't realize how much that rocked my whole world and put me in like a rock bottom state of mine for so long. So then I had I already had zero coping skills. We already know this. And then when my rock bottom hit, it was like, well, my best friend who I lost, that was like a sister to me. Now, the one person I finally let myself love and be in love with and thought I was going to marry left me, felt worse than death. And I literally was just like, it sounds again, silly when I've talked about this so many times on my podcast, it sounds so silly to think of this came from a breakup. But like, I was addicted to painkillers. I couldn't get off my mom's

couch. I had to move back home. I had no job. I had no career. I had no education. I had nothing. And I remember thinking, like, so many people around me that loved me, my friends and my family. And I just remember being like, that's not good enough. That's not love. Yeah. They're just, they're always going to be here. Yeah. They just feel bad for me. They're always going to be here because the one person that I want to love me doesn't love me. And that feels like the end of the world. And there's nothing silly about that. Heartbreak, hello, they've done research about heartbreak. Yeah. The withdrawals that you go through is the same withdraws you go through from heroin yeah so don't tell me that it means nothing well yeah it

i guess it sounds for other people that have gone through worse i always feel like but that's oh i know you can't compare traumas you can't compare travas there's i the other day when i was feeling sad i said the same thing i can't because there's wars in the world right my friend said okay well you're here can you just feel your emotions yeah there's always going to be someone out there that's going to have it worse like if you need to cry cry and who and the people who are judging you are actually, they have their own journey. They need to go through and they're just miserable on the inside. Yeah.

And normal people just, okay, that's lame. Move on with their life versus if they're like, you're a joke. That's what you're crying about. Move on. Well, when I was that miserable, I hated everybody who was doing better than me. Right. That's normal. I hated everyone.

And would I go into the internet and troll them? No. But in my head and to my friends, I hated anyone who was doing better. And I was like, I have nothing going for me. and now whatever 13 years later I can't do math but I'm like holy shit I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be from all of these things I thought you can say holy shit I'm exactly the same place no I'm literally like a reborn confident version of myself I mean I always call myself confidently insecure like I of course still a human being but I'm just like I feel so much more peace in my life

I feel like I'm aligned I feel like I'm on the right path I feel like everything I've gone through is for a reason And I feel like rock bottoms always lead you into like this other path in life. It's so annoying. Honestly, I hate the whole being alive thing. It's everyone always complains about the dead. And honestly, the dead have it easier because we're stuck being alive. And every day being alive is so hard. There are so many things you have to do.

And it's hard. It's difficult. Well, and that spiritual coach told me that you got to live these lives because in the next life, she's like, you can't smell smells. you don't taste taste it's just time is different it's just like you're just on the other side okay well i think everyone's different versions of what happens well take it yeah i guess but then of course i believed her so it's like well i i do i give myself tarot card readings all the time and to my listeners too so i guess oh my god i wish you would have brought your tarot cards oh i should have yeah but i wouldn't want to

get all dirty with my makeup on all this stuff but i can give you a reading whenever oh my god okay it's so easy for me. But do you have like a deck on your phone? No, I wouldn't do it like that. Oh yeah, just kidding. That's stupid. In the end of the day, even with tarot cards, it says everything it says, it's never a definite

answer. It's, this could be a possibility. But I've done a tarot card reading when I say, no, I reject this. I don't agree with this. It's not happening for me. And it won't. Why? Because my brain is powerful. So a lot of times when you go to a tarot card reader, and a lot of them also, you know,

they when you're your most vulnerable that's normally when they are like keep coming back to me and I'll help pick you up back up so basically be careful everything's still business yeah but even with the tarot card readings it's whatever state you are in right now but you still have a choice whether or not that path is going to be for you yeah yeah I agree with that's why it's always an if tarot card readings are always if yeah this could be a possibility but it could not right so you still have a choice and you still get to decide the route you want to go in. Right.

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believe something better is coming or they need to find that inner, like, what did you call it, not the negative, but the confirmation? Confirmation. How do you find that? Is it just a practice? First of all, it depends what people need. I'm not one of those people that I need to. talk to other people to get the cheer me up and all that some people all they need is a few loving

people to be around them yeah the last thing i want to do is be a burden to people that i love when i feel and that's something that actually my parents get really mad at me my mom when my mom found out was feeling really low she even cried which i hate seeing her cry but she was just like like tell me she she always goes and she says violetta you're a part of me when you hurt i feel it even when you don't tell me i know so i rather you tell me and i said well you would just judge me. And she said, who cares? I would judge you. And then I would help you. That's what families for. That's so true. Yeah. They're so cute. They're the cutest. But anyway, so for me, it doesn't help me to talk to people I love. I feel embarrassed. Yeah. But what has helped me as

someone who bottles everything up is to do something small every single day towards the goal of what I'm looking for. At first, it's going to seem like nothing is changing because you're not paying attention. But it's those little small steps, even if you're very depressed and you can't get out of bed. It's on your third day when you finally showered. That little thing makes the biggest difference. That's why I always say celebrate your victories, big or small. It doesn't matter because no one else knows how hard you fought to get to this point. And it doesn't matter how great your life seems to someone else. A, someone else will always have a better life than you. So you can always say, well, they have better. But it doesn't matter what it seems because your head,

the thoughts in your head it's you can't control your thoughts that's one thing we don't realize we think if i grow up or i work on myself i will control my thoughts you can't because you go into a random on the street you see a woman that you hate her skirt automatically you'd be like i hate that skirt you couldn't control that just a thought it's how you act on it afterwards is this going to help me or not am i should i tell her hey hey your skirt sucks i hope you have the worst day ever I hate looking at it. Can you just go home? I don't want to see that shit.

Or am I going to say, not for me, but makes her happy. Yeah. Let me go home with my day. You know, you get to choose. So I think that's the scariest part. There's so many people out there that have this choice of how to react to their thoughts. And so many people choose. Who gives a shit?

To say awful things. That's on them. That's their problem. You can only fix and change yourself. Yeah. By A. choosing who you're going to surround yourself with these people are not good for my health anymore if i can't remove them from my life i need to take a step back because this is not helping me

even if i'm being selfish right now or i've always been selfish i don't give a shit if that's how you live your life then live your life and be selfish and take a step back okay what else do i need to do i need to start showering i don't want to do it i hate it right now i feel like shit but i know it's going to make me feel better and if i keep waking up every morning and i know it's not working for me what if I try something a little different okay I'm going to do that okay what can I do next these people don't want to work with me okay let's figure out how to change my brand that still aligns with me yeah and you start and it's little things and of course I couldn't change everything all at once I'm still working on getting my inspiration back with my podcast but at least I got to the other

two things and I mean even with my book I now she's like I love it so much where's the next chapter I was like I have to do another one so you're writing a book it's it'll be coming out Either the third quarter of 2025 or the first quarter of 2026, that's the most frustrating thing I would say with books in general, is that even when you finish writing them, it's the publishing part of it. You can take between six to nine months. So that's how, and then they also decide what's based on your genre, which quarter, if it's best. But I think while I was doing that with the books, it was frustrating because there's so many other people I know, they have ghost writers. all of them, like every single one of them. And I know they're ghostwriters because they were offered to me as well.

So I know exactly each person that's currently with a book out. Do you have to say, like say you had a ghostwriter? Do you have to say you had a ghost writer or can you say you wrote a book? You don't have to say it, but normally you can guess when a book is either dedicated to someone or towards the end in the last pages, it'll say, and I want to thank the people I love. and also Gary Phillips for walking me through this whole process that Gary Phillips is a ghost writer like just saying or being there for me during this time he wrote the book like that's what it means but that's I mean that is so impressive that you can do this without a ghost writer well my goal is to keep writing yeah okay like you love it I love how it makes me feel when I have the

finished product in front of me yeah I love I've always had a really hard time expressing my feelings or how I feel. And writing has always been the outlet that's been easiest. And also writing has always been the most challenging for me in English in general because it's my third language. So the reason I'm so passionate about writing where I love it so much is because I get to prove myself that I am capable of something that people constantly told me that I couldn't do.

Yeah. You're so feisty. I am. Yeah. In like the best way. Like you're feisty in a healthy way where you're like confident. and you believe in yourself and you'll do something until you can prove that to yourself first and to other people. Yeah, but honestly, it's nothing worse when you feel low and you can watch yourself, suddenly forget who you are and listen to all these people.

That's why when I get back to this place, that's why it's so hard to knock me down. Yeah. Because when I get back to this place, I'm like, I know who I am and I know how hard I work to be here, you're definitely not going to knock me down. Yeah. Because for me, I'm so intense with my emotions. When I'm low, hello, you can tell I'm very low. And it's so hard for me to get out of it. Yes, this time it only took me a month and a half.

But another time, it took me six months. And I just don't want to be in those moments. I waste so much time just I don't like it. Yeah. I feel that way now too where I'm like, it's a waste of time where before when I was like the lowest of lows, it took me two years to get out of it. Exactly. So when you know what it's like to be in your lowest,

then I'm going to really, you know, not allow anyone with their negative energy or their opinions or thoughts come at me. Like the other day, I was at some pumpkin patch and this girl who I fired, who she was there and I'm just avoiding her because I just, it's not that deep once I let you go. Like it's done. Yeah. Worst employee I've ever had. And she was trying to get, she was trying to be childish with some other girl. They were constantly like laughing anything, I would say, giving dirty looks. And I just thought, and I even sat on my podcast because I thought, and.

Imagine if this happened to me three weeks ago when I was feeling really low, how much that would affect me and how cruel that would be because that girl knew what I was going through at that time. Right. So that would have been so cruel because I would believe them. Yeah. Luckily, when I showed up, I didn't care. I just felt, I just felt sorry for them.

Yeah. I just thought that's so pathetic because one of the girls that was being catty is like 36, 37. So I was thinking, damn, imagine being that age being like peaking at a high school and that's where it's still this way. Pathetic. It is. And I still had a great night and never thought twice about them because I just thought they were pathetic because I felt good about myself. That's the thing. I went to an event where I knew someone was going to be there and I was like, man, a year ago, this would have crippled me.

This would have like I wouldn't have gone. And, you know, a year can seem like a long time. But it's actually, think of how fast a year can go. And I felt so good. And then you prove it to yourself too that you could do it and not let it affect you and see how. how much fun you have. I was like enjoying other people's company, the music. I was enjoying all of my surroundings. I wasn't even on my phone. I was just like taking it all in because I was like, I feel so good right now. It's what you give your attention to. And that's what matters. And we also don't realize we're all in our heads. So I understood why the 21 year old was being petty. I don't know what the 37 year. She was going through her own issues. But it's because she thought because of how intense I can come off. She thought maybe I would be mean to her. She thought that maybe she was

being uncomfortable and she projected feeling comfortable onto me. And that's why she acted the way she did because she was uncomfortable. Yeah. So it really had nothing to do with me. Luckily, when I'm in a good headspace, I understand that. When I'm a good headspace, I'm very confident. It's hard to knock me down. I'm not interested in that. Yeah. Yeah. But I again, what I would say for people going through the rock bottom is when I said to celebrate your small and big wins, honestly, I would say that's literally the best advice. Just you don't have to, you know, post it in your stories every time you shower. No one has to know, but you can just celebrate yourself by feeling proud of yourself or, for me, it's when I read stuff that I write. I am always in tears

and I'm so proud of myself. And I don't need to send it to anyone else. I just look and I go, oh, you're doing really well. I'm so happy for you. And so just being kind to yourself or just suddenly sit back and you can, you can even write down things that you love or good things that happened to you today, even things of somebody smiled at me today or I got more likes on my, I don't know. I don't know people. Like I think that stuff is silly, but whatever makes you happy or my plant, I kept my plant alive. This is the first plant I got and it's still alive. Yeah. I said it on a podcast before, but I will probably repeat this one a lot because it really, it has stuck with me and it's really made a difference in my days where so many people now are

looking for triggers. So many people are like, oh, that triggers me or that brings up something for me. And Trista Sutter started saying, why don't we look for the glimmers. So noticing just small things in your day that make you smile, that make you happy. Like, just anything. You just start noticing them instead of looking for the bad and the triggers. But also, how are you going to ever grow as a person if something triggers you and you just want to run away from it? Right. Something triggers you instead of blaming the other person. Because like, like you being scared of you're going to go to that event and you don't know how they're going to react or I went to someplace and those girls weren't that kind to me yeah it's easy to think well why would they

treat me this way i must not be worthy versus changing your perspective and realizing i can't control how everyone else acts i can't control how people drive yeah i'm driving i can't control how people speak to me i can control how people treat me but i have to understand that it has nothing to do with me and they're all going through their own journey and i can only control how i feel how I react and what I do about things. Yeah. It's perspective. We always say perspective is everything.

Like I could say all these things about being 39 and who knows if I'm going to be able to have a baby and who knows what I'm going to be doing. Or I could say, I'm 39 and I'm in a place in my life where I can relax and not be as busy and hustle as much as I used to because I've worked so hard to get here. And how cool that I'm sitting in my house by myself, an independent woman with my two dogs who I love so much. like just shifting it and just saying that to yourself instead of being like oh poor me I'm 39 and I'm just like not having kids like everybody else and no all of that is hard it's so easy

to just sit and complain because honestly I have the time I'm like what is the purpose of life like actually I still don't really know yeah what the purpose of life is I'm still figuring it out if you can tell me that's the thing is to figure out the purpose of life is the purpose of life you're just trying to figure out why you're here the purpose of life is to enjoy enjoy it and I'm realizing now that life is short. So short. And I think before when we said life is short, we would think life is short. So have the drink.

Go with that person. But I think the opposite. I think life is short, which is why you should quit that job if it's not working for you. Life is short. Dump that guy. Like, yes, you can take you on a vacation or whatever it is. And you're like, well, life is short, might as well just enjoy. You're going to be, then you're going to spend a year and a half afterwards crying about it.

So life is short that you should realize. that you shouldn't be wasting your time on people who are not worthy of your time on on doing things that are not good for you like life is so sure you could die tomorrow yeah so just quit and dump everyone and move to a different country oh my if you take anything from this podcast quit everything just give up I'm sure give up in a positive way give up in the best in the best way possible. Give up on the things that make you unhappy. And actually, yeah, that's a great advice too, like surrender.

Yeah. When you finally release control. Yeah. God, if things get easier. Oh my gosh. That's literally when things happen. That's another amazing thing about rock bottom. You finally just go, okay, I can't.

I can't control this. Yeah, I can't get any worse. I can't force this person to be a better employee. I can't force this person to love me. I can't force this other person to apologize to me. I can't force brands to work with me. I can just feed my cat That's what I can do

And if you're passionate enough about feeding your cat You might get a kitty cat food brand Yes Exactly But anyway That's just where I'm at I hope I don't hit rock bottom again for a while But

When you do you know that there's light at the end of the tunnel I know and there's people who love you And you really shouldn't take that for granted Because you never know The sad part that we don't realize is that we have a last day with every person every person you mean in your life you have a last day with them and it's such a sad thing to realize that but it's the truth but every person you've ever met you have a last day with them you don't know this but you you you have a so if you were aware of the fact that

your best friend or a parent that you don't give a shit about that you actually only have 12 interactions with them before you'll never see them again you will suddenly start to value those interactions more and you would think twice when you're crying over someone who doesn't love you while ignoring the person who loves you when you realize, oh shit, four more interactions with this person and I'll never see them again. Suddenly, those interactions will feel a lot more meaningful to you. Let's end on that because I think that's powerful. Thanks.

I do. I really think that's powerful and I'm really excited for your book. Thank you. Yeah, I'll be reading that. The book is part memoir, part self-help on how not to be, well, what if I say this and someone copies me, it's fine, about how not to be a victim in life. Oh, I like that. Oh, I really like that.

Thank you. That's good. Congratulations. Thank you. Thank you so much. You can come back on when the book's done, well, maybe even before, but we can talk all about how to not be a victim. Sorry for talking so fast.

No, I'm not sorry. It is just how I talk. My next guess is Whitney Cummings and she has to do 10 pushups every time. She says sorry when she shouldn't be sorry. Oh, okay, yeah. Research shows that women say sorry too much in the corporate world. Try being a Canadian woman. Oh, yeah.

But you guys say differently. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Yeah. I don't know. On that note, don't forget to quit.

You guys can find me on almost adulting, almost adulting podcast. It's on every Thursday. We have loads of solo episodes and check out my hitting rock bottom episode. You'll love it. And if you're into memes, you can follow me on at Daddy issues underscore. And if you're into my personal life, you can follow me on Violet Benson. And aside from that, don't forget to celebrate your wins, big or small. I know it sounds cliche, but just do it for yourself. Love you. Bye. I didn't know. It's like I have a podcast. I'm Caitlin Bristow. Your session is now ending. And if I'm being honest, I wouldn't mind a rating in review.