Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Wells Adams

Episode Date: October 9, 2017

Bachelor In Paradise's official Bartender Wells Adams talks to Kaitlyn about the luxury of being the bartender instead of the titular role, getting to grope Danielle Fishel, the creepy DMs he's received, and balogna...lots and lots of balogna. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Okay, let's talk about the original enemies to lovers story. Before all of our reality TV couples, before the rom-coms, we binge, there was Elizabeth Bennett and Mr. Darcy in pride and prejudice. And Audible has just dropped a brand new original that will have you completely hooked, I am. It's not just any audiobook. This is a full cast performance. So Marisa Abella, you might know her from industry, brings Elizabeth Bennett to life.

And Harris Dickinson from Baby Girl and Where the Crawdads sing is Mr. Darcy. And honestly, the chemistry, you guys, it's everything. Plus, you've got icons like Glenn Close, Bill Nye and Will Polter in the mix. Talk about a dream cast. Now, what I love is how Marissa pulls you right into Lizzie's world, her stubbornness, her wit, her messy family dynamics, and of course, her complicated feelings for Darcy. And with a vibrant new adaptation and original score by Grammy-nominated composer, it just feels so fresh and modern while still keeping that timeless Jane Austen charm.

So whether it's your first time experiencing Pride and Prejudice or you've read it a million times, you're going to fall absolutely in love all over again. So go listen to Pride and Prejudice now at audible.ca slash Jane Austen. The following program is a podcast.1.com presentation. Okay. Are you ready to shake things up? Yes, I am. Well, Caitlin Bristow is creating a space where girls and Jets can feel empowered to be themselves. Because there's more to life than Instagram, right? What's that supposed to mean?

Welcome to Off the Vine with Caitlin Bristow. Now here's Caitlin. So all I do is just say, welcome to Off the Vine. I'm your host, Caitlin Bristow, and I'm drinking wine. And then I go into it. What rhymes? I like it. Oh, I didn't even think of that. Does it rhyme?

Wait. Say it again? Off the Vine, drinking wine. You're right. Yes. I like things that rhyme. Yes, good. Yay.

Good. Good. But okay, this is how stupid my brain is. I was like, oh, I'm going to say, Wells come to the podcast and then I'm like no he'll make fun of me and think that was dumb and I'm better than that like you said earlier no you because you threw out a Fargo thing in your text to me yeah and I mean that I've been living with I've been living that life for a long time we don't have Wells Fargo in Canada so to me it's like a new thing so I was like ha ha I'm going to call him Fargo and then I'm like oh it's not funny like and then I told you about my NSYNc story and then I was just like I do the typical things that I think I'm being original and I'm not I know I was interviewing all time low the other day, the band, and at the end of it, I was like, well, I got to say this is an all-time high to interview you. And they were like, we've heard that before.

And I was like, oh, okay. Jerk. Shut me down, all right. That's funny. Yeah, I don't know. I always, like, people don't know what the N-Sync story is. What's his name? Chris Kirkpatrick?

I don't know, man. He was the guy with the funky braids in N-Sink, and I copied his hairstyle when I was, like, 16 years old. Are you Googling? Yeah, do you want me to? Yeah, Google. Chris Kirkpatrick. Oh, I better know it because we're going on a double date with him.

How did you spell it? I had it like N-Y-N-C. I don't know. Yeah, no. And then it took it to like New York. Yeah, no. No. I'm proud of the fact that I don't know anything about this, by the way.

You should be. You should be. Oh, yeah, Chris Kirkpatrick. Yeah, Perpatrick. See, I was totally downplaying that. I knew how to say his last name, but I wanted to be like, I don't know things about NSYNC. But the interview was going so well. And I was just, you know, hanging out.

I did one funny joke. He told me to hold my golf club at a 98 degree angle. And I was like, ha, boy bands. He didn't even realize he did it. I was like, ah, boy bands. Really? Yeah. And then at the end of it, I was like, well, I got to wrap up this interview.

So, uh, bye, bye, bye, bye. And I did the dance with everything. And his face, I kid you not, he didn't even crack a smile. He didn't move. He just stood there frozen. And I went, oh, gosh, it happens all the time, doesn't it? And he goes, yeah, I'm going to, I really wish I came up with the song that said, like, I'm going to mow your lawn. So that's what people kept saying to me.

And I'm like, oh. Is that a sexual innuendo? I don't know. I don't know. I don't like that. Chris Kirkpatrick, let's bring it down a bit, all right? You're not J.T. over here. Who was supposed to be there at the Topgolf thing.

Really? Yeah, but he didn't show. I heard he's doing the halftime show at the Super Bowl this year. I heard he didn't want to see Chris Kirkpatrick. Just kidding. I'm making up for most. Yeah, I heard that too. Super Bowl buzz.

So you know that in syncing you back together for that. Oh, they have to. If Beyonce is any indication of what happened a couple of, years ago and like all of a sudden Destiny's Child were reunited. Did they ever go? Not in my mind. They were there. They were? Yeah. I feel like I don't know. And then I'm like, is

he over the nip slip thing? Like you know how we're talking about typical interviews? Like, I forgot about that. You did? I mean, like it definitely like like shaped a lot of my life. I mean, it has been how many years ago. But yeah, you didn't forget about it. It was always up there. I didn't. Janet, man. I know. Such a babe.

I know. And she had a remember it was like a like a silver star around her arioli. Well, it wasn't, is that how you pronounce it? Areola? Yeah, yeah, there you go. Is ariola singular and then areola plural, like alumni and alumnus? I don't know.

I, that's a good, like, moose, what's the plural for moose? Meese? Mooses. You're Canadian. I should know this. I should know this. I should know this, but I don't. See, this is every podcast I have, I lose my train of thought within seconds.

I don't know if it's the wine. I've only had a couple, six. which that's what I usually do pour my wine Oh yeah do it I gotta say like I actually really like the Wells come thing That one's new

That one's new Like I get like well well Wells is here I get that one a lot Yeah And like all's wells it ends Wells That's I get that one See nothing rhymes with Caitlin so I'm good Yeah

You can't really play on Caitlin It's just boring It's just Caitlin You know what my other joke is gonna be You totally ruined my intro but I was I didn't think you haven't even done your intro yet Okay fine let me do my thing

Okay do it Okay um Well's come to off the phone I'm your host Caitlin Bristow And then I was gonna say Yeah We have podcast hosts

And Bachelor Nation fan fave in the house Oh and Wells is here too I like that Thank you oh I'm getting a clap too I liked it too because you had like your hands on your hips Like you were really kind of proud Yeah I really was And that's what, it's funny because I, you know, we didn't go into it like that, but I'm glad I got to share in my humor and the jokes.

And I feel like this podcast is going to be full of bad jokes. Yeah, but that's... But bad jokes are good jokes. Like, I make my living off of bad jokes, to be honest with you. Yeah. You know? Yeah. Like, you get paid for them.

Yeah, I do. Like, my dad jokes are like, that's where I live. That's my sweet spot. Yeah, that is. That's your home. That's your home. It's cuddly and warm and cozy. I love it.

It feels right. It feels right That's why I always say I'm like I'm getting paid to drink wine right now And life could not be better I know It's an amazing life hack If you can figure out

If you can figure it out If you can go on a show That has like a lot of views And ratings And you can come out of it Like happy And get paid to do Like drink wine

Or do what you love I do feel like I am I'm the poor man's version of you though from Bachelor World? I agreed. I'm like, mm-hmm, poor man's, yep. Yeah, yeah. I mean, you're not to my level, Wells. I would have said male version.

Yeah, but like, I don't know, you were such the main focal point for, I've always been like, the guy over here that's like cracking jokes and, you know, whatever. Who doesn't want to be that guy? That's a good guy to be, yeah. That's the guy to be. That is the guy to be. It's kind of nice to be on the sidelines being that guy.

Absolutely. Like, okay, I'm going. there. Go. Typical interview question. Were you really supposed to be The Bachelor? Like, did you have contracts? Am I allowed to ask you this?

Or was that, like, social media, rumors, what was going on there? Have you answered this question so many times? Yeah, like, I just wasn't The Bachelor. Like, straight up, like, I didn't, I don't think I wanted that. Yeah. Okay? To be fair. Like, I actually haven't really answered this.

I was out doing press for, like, when we were after Paradise. and everyone thought I was The Bachelor Everyone assumed that that was the thing That's why I was doing press And so I only said like I'm just not I promise you I'm not The Bachelor And they were like well that's what The Bachelor would say That's something The Bachelor would say

You're right, I probably would but I'm not But no like it's funny Last year they talked to me about it Oh really? Yeah And then Nick fell in their lap and, like, it all worked out, I guess. Yeah. Face first, he fell in their lap, begging them.

Ew. Did I just go there? Anyways, so. Yeah, I remember them talking to me about it last year, and I was like, I don't know, man. I'm not that sure if that's my schick. But no, it was never got to, like, this is how much money we're going to pay you.

Right. Oh, okay, it didn't come down on the contract. No. Okay. But I also don't know if, I think I'm, I don't know. I think I made it pretty... The bartender's the gig, dude. Like, I don't know if anyone gets it.

No, you're right. You're right. It is. Like, unless you're Harrison... Yes. The bartender's the gig. You're, like, right below Chris Harrison on, like, dream jobs. Yeah, because, like, think about it.

I get to go on vacation for a month, basically. Yeah. Work every, like, a couple hours. Work. Yeah, but, like, really, I'm, like, making drinks. Yeah. And, like, I'll say, like, some things that people need to hear probably and then like I don't have to get engaged on TV and you don't need to worry about the

drama or like what they could be a situation they could be putting you in to like and you're not hurting people's feelings yeah well if you are it's they need it tough love tough love but you don't have to break people's hearts yeah and like I get to go I think I get to go do it again you know like it doesn't stop if I don't steal your job good thing ABC hates me because that will never happen actually I like I want nothing more than, like, someone else to come there and do it with me. Can I be a guest bartender? Yeah, I mean, I'm not, I'm not, like, calling the shots, but, like, I think it would be

really funny if there was a wait. Like, I wanted Alexis to be, like, the waitress. Yeah. Oh, yeah, that'd be funny. You know? Yeah. Just because she's hilarious and, like, she's never getting engaged on TV either, so it'll be like, okay, you put on the apron and, like, you take the drink over to, like, that

palpapa and give it to somebody and say, like, say some crack wise. That would be funny. But anyways, about the whole batch of thing. I thought it was very, like, it was very flattering that people thought that I should be The Bachelor. Well, yeah, people love you. But, like, I, like, there is nothing about me that screams. Like, when I think of The Bachelor, I think of, like, Mountain of a Man, like, 6-4, like, pecks, and, like, really cool hair.

Do you know who's The Bachelor right now? Yeah, I don't, but I don't know him. She's not like that. Yeah, but he's, like, a race car driver. That's cool, right? Or remember, like, Ben, I can never say his last name and I always say, Plano, Nick? Remember that guy? Bob, Bob,

Bob, the Bachelor, Bob Guinea. Bob Guinea. Bob Guinea. There was that guy. I don't know, but when I think of The Bachelor, I think of, like, Ben, who's, like, who's, like, who's giant. And then also, like, Nick is, like, a very, like, I realize these are your ex-boyfriends, but whatever, like, Nick, Nick, like, takes his shirt off and it's just like, Jesus Christ, when, like, when are you not doing crunches, you know? That's, like, I don't want to ever break up with Sean, because I think he'd be the Bachelor, and I think he'd be the perfect Bachelor. really and I would die inside I also think that like you need to be kind of serious like I'm really amazed that like you did it because you're like the funniest go on you are hoa but you're so funny but like I feel like that whole thing is supposed to be so serious you know yeah my main thing is that I like to make people laugh I'm very goofy I'm weird all that stuff but I do have like that other side that people just don't really see very often but but

That's why I think, like, I don't think I'm a typical person to be The Bachelorette. And that's why Reality Steve said, Caitlin is too out there. She'll never be The Bachelorette because I really feel like I'm not the girl next door. I'm not like you're all-American sweetheart. And I think that is what they go for typically. Yeah, definitely. For my season, I think for sure. I think that Jojo was definitely that.

Yeah. I don't know. Anyways, I don't want to be The Bachelor. So when it's all said and done, if they did ask you, you would say no. I would probably be like, I don't think about it, but can I still be the bartender? Yeah. You'd be like, wait, how much money are we talking here? Because I could treat this as a business.

Also, like, I don't know if I think it's that much money. Well, you get a good lawyer. Yeah. Yeah, but I feel like that's what, like, Luke did. And, like, that didn't work out well. I know. You know? They gave the line to me when I brought, like, an entertainment lawyer into it.

they said, oh, oh, you fooled us. I thought this was going to be about the love for you. And I was like, oh, come on. Like, this has to be worth it for me in that way, too, if things don't work out. Yeah, totally. I'm taking a lot of time. I just took a lot of time off. I was working like three jobs before.

Yeah. And I'm like, I always say, girls got to eat. Yeah. Yeah. That's a ridiculous thing for someone to say, because if they were in your place, they would do the exact same thing. Or if it was their daughter, they would be like, let me introduce you to like Ari Rosenbaum, the greatest lawyer, entertainment lawyer in L.A. Yeah, exactly, exactly.

Okay, do you like this wine that we've been drinking? Yeah, what is it? It's a pinocrigio, because that's my favorite. But the beautiful part about Bright Cellar's winery is that they actually will send you numerous different wines. They send you four to your door. I'm all about convenience. And they are delivered directly to you four personal wine bottles. sent to your door each month, you do like a fun seven question quiz and like, oh, what kind of

coffee do you like? What kind of chocolate do you like? And they kind of discover like your flavor palette. And then your wine concierge, which is so fancy, will pick you certain bottles. Yes, that you will enjoy. And if you don't like it, they'll help you find a replacement. There's wines from all over the world. So it's not just like one specific one that you keep getting to your door. It's wines from Italy, Spain, Portugal, South America, and you want another hookup? Yeah, I do. You can get 50% off your first box of wine. That's a big deal, like half off.

If you go to brightsellers.com slash off the vine. I like the idea of the questionnaire. Like, what kind of coffee do you like? Yeah. What kind of flowers do you like? And I can imagine you when they're like, what kind of wine do you like? And you be like, yes. Yeah.

No, it's, what kind of one? Yes. Yes. Yeah. You had me at one. Yes. Yes. All of the above. All of it.

Okay. So every podcast, I do confessions. Yeah. And, like, I'll go there. I say, like, really embarrassing things that happened to me. And it's called Caitlin's confessional booth. Get it? Because my last name is going to be both.

Ah. Huh. Play on words. And then we confess to you. each other and we get it out off our chest and then we cheers with our wine and we wash away our sins. Can you pour some more wine for me? Oh my gosh, of course. The wine is always flowing on off the vine.

The problem is that you've chosen the other like borderline functioning alcoholic to have on your podcast. Yeah, that's, it makes me feel a lot better about my life. Good, okay. To have you on. Yeah. And share my. Like I have my stuff together. Yeah.

You know. Yeah. But, um. But you like the drink. Yeah. Yeah. Nothing wrong with that. don't make you bad people.

Okay, so what is it? Okay, so my confession is not, it's, I'm almost proud of this one, but it's also embarrassing. Okay. So last night, I had quite the night. Mm-hmm. And around, I can't remember what time, like one, maybe we went to honky tonk central. Mm, get it. Yeah.

And I was like in a place where I shouldn't have even gone. Like, Sean should have taken me home at that point. And so we get there and I just wanted to leave and get hot dogs so. badly that we did and I ate three hot dogs. I ate Sean's and his dad's hot dog and didn't let them have a chance. Why are you embarrassed about that? It's more of a confession. That's why I said I'm proud. Yeah. But it's like I honestly just like murdered three hot dogs in the shortest amount of time. You're right. I'm not actually that embarrassed about that. I love hot dogs. They're so good. Have you had the ones outside of Honky Tong Central? Yes, I have. They're amazing. They're

phenomenal. And yeah, and it was so worth it. Like, you know when you eat something and then you're like, oh, that was, I feel guilty about that. No. That was worth it to me. Those calories were worth it because it was so good. Okay, that's not a confession. I don't think that's a bad one, especially if you're had a bunch to drink. That's just like staying alive. Yeah, that's actually just like to function. Yeah, that was fuel. That was smart. That was fuel and actually one of my better decisions now that we, now that we're talking about it. You should be proud of this moment. I, okay, disregard what I just I said, do you have a confession? I'll think about another one. Well, I watched the Netflix documentary What the Health recently. Nope, you want to go vegan. Oh, no. And then I watched it. And then I, you love hot dogs. I do too. I love baloney.

Like I love baloney. Like just a plain baloney sandwich or baloney on its own, or how do you like your baloney? I'll eat baloney on its own. What a funny name, too. I know. And also I... You would like baloney. I also hate the spelling of it.

Bologony. Yeah, let's get it together, guys. But it's kind of like, that's a really weird name for something. You might as well spell it weird. Yeah. Throw everybody off. I just feel like Bologna is such the drunk guy food. Because let's be fair.

What it is, it's a hot dog. I'm actually trying really not to laugh. The bologna in general is just really funny. Okay, go. But all it is is a flat hot dog. It's the same meat, right? Right. And so I think that it was like the total stereotypical, like drunk guy food.

And they're like, what are we call this? He's like, I'm a baloney. I'm like, how do you spell it? Oh, B-O-L-O-G-N-A. And they were like, that's not what, that doesn't work at all. And they're like, whatever, ship it. You're right. I know.

I've thought about this a lot. Oh, my gosh. I'm not mad about it. I love Bologna, and I know that, like, it's like. But you want to give it up after watching this? No, that's the thing. I watch that. I know what's doing my arteries, and it's going to give me, like, Alzheimer's at, like, 37.

And I know my, like, aorta's, like, shocks. full of crap and I don't care because I love it because of your true passion for baloney and like there have been women in my life who have been like I don't know if I can be with someone Are you baloney fingers?

Yes I will be baloney fingers I'm not ashamed of it You shouldn't be it's like me being ashamed of hot dog obsessions Yeah I mean like I'm sorry like I consider myself a foodie but gosh dang it Like white white bread mayonnaise American cheese baloney

What about a little spicy mustard? I'll get in there with some spicy mustard. Maybe some pepper flakes. I don't know. If you're feeling fancy. Who knows what's going to happen? Let's fry an egg on that thing in the morning. You know what?

Now you're getting fancy. Bologna does not. You can't wash out the taste of bologna with a fried egg. You need to really taste that bologna. They can be married, you know? Yeah, that's, yeah. Anyways. They go together like cocaine and waffles.

Yeah. Is that a thing? I don't know. I think that's a movie quote. Oh, okay. Sometimes I like to pretend I'm funny, but it's actually probably just a movie quote at the end of the day. Bologna. You know what also is funny is when people say something's baloney if it's like dumb?

That's baloney. That's ridiculous. I'm bringing that back. I'm going to say bologna all the time now. Yeah, but it's offensive to me as a man who thinks bologna is a need to be taken seriously as a sliced meat. Maybe we say it's something good. Like, oh, like if that's the B's knees, oh, that's Bologna. Oh, yeah.

I like that. Okay. Yeah. Okay. I'll do it. Yeah. Like that's the bees knees. That's the tits.

That's bologna. Yeah, that's the baloney. The baloney. All right. Okay. You know what? Everybody listening out there? I know there's a few of you.

Recycle that. You think that everyone hasn't punched out of this show already? Five minutes of baloney and they're like, you know what? I'm out. We just did a seven-minute segment on baloney, all right? I hope that sticks. Well, I think you can, like, kind of judge someone a little bit. You can, like, get a good read on someone how they feel about baloney.

Because if they're, if they're turning their. nose up to baloney, then they've been living with a silver spoon up their ass like their entire lives. You're right. People who eat baloney have confidence. Yeah, and you know what? They've come from nothing and made themselves something, all right? You're right. They pulled themselves up from their bootstraps.

You're right. I don't know what I'm talking about. No, I actually like, I'm not even being funny. I'm like, you're right. Yeah, it's delicious. Have you had a fried baloney sandwich? Yes. It's delicious. That's, you're right. It is. Okay, I don't even know if you know about Roberts Western World downtown and Nashville. No.

First of all, best honky tonk in Nashville. What? What's it called? Roberts Western World. How have I not been there? Okay, so it's like an old rockabilly one. And they have a thing called the Recession Special, which is a fried baloney sandwich,

chips, a beer, and a shot for $5. I can just feel your energy and the passion that you have when you're speaking about baloney. Like, I feel it over here. You know why? Because baloney is the baloney. Yep. That's what it is.

And we just made that seven-minute segment of baloney into a table. We're 30 minutes into this podcast, and we've done three segments. So far we've covered Bologna and you being The Bachelor. All right. Okay, I'm fine. That's your confession that you like baloney. I like it. I don't know.

No, that's good. That's good. I like that confession. Yeah. I can't think of one now because I'm like. Is it used like a back and forth? Oh, it can be if you can think of more. I'll do this one.

I wash my hair twice a week maybe. Oh, once for me. Oh, really? Oh, yeah. Okay, cool. Yeah. No. And this is making.

from last night. Yeah. I try and recycle. Thanks. I think so too. It was professionally done, so I, like, sleep like a vampire so that my makeup doesn't move. Really? And then I can recycle it the next day.

I'm greasy like that. Okay, that's my confession. I'm greasy. Yeah. Yeah. I think a good amount of grease is good. I think you need that. It keeps you healthy and grounded.

Yeah, right? It's like, it's like bologna. It's like a bologna. It's like a greasy bologna fried sandwich. Okay. That's mine. I'm greasy. I am too.

Okay. It's fine. Okay, want to cheers to it, wash away our sins, that I don't really feel like our sins. No, I think we're just winning at life. Yeah, you know what? I agree with you. Yeah. Yeah, okay.

Well, anyways, I was going to talk about you being The Bachelor next, but that's gone. No, I need to go back to it, actually. Okay. You were with Peter in Vegas. I was. Now, did, I'm trying to, like, get secrets out of you. I'm like, who am I? I'm that girl.

Did he really turn down being the Bachelor? He was kind of cagey about, like, I think, what exactly. happened. Yeah. I don't think that he really wanted to be the bachelor. That was kind of my takeaway. Yeah. And I think that I didn't know what to make of that guy, like, going in.

Because I had seen, like, he had put on his high school yearbook that he, like, wanted to be the bachelor. Right. And, like, watching it, as a viewer, you could have thought, oh, he really is trying to be the bachelor. Yeah. Totally, right? Like, because he's like, I don't want to get, I'm not, I don't want to get engaged or whatever.

But he's still being, like, very lovable. Yeah. So I was just like, I just don't know about this guy. And like, to be fair, like, that world is full of, like, douchebaggery. So I just wasn't sure. The doucheiest of baggorest, whatever, yeah. Like, the fact that, like, I was cast, like, says something about me, I think, as a person. Huge douchefax.

No, you're right, though. Yes. But I met him and I really liked him. Like, a lot, actually. Like, a really cool dude. Yeah. I think he's really grounded. He's like Wisconsin, so he's, like, not a part of the glitz and glamour of L.A. or New York.

And he doesn't want to move there? I don't think so. Like, he's got his thing. The only thing I just took away was he was just like, I don't know about that. You know, like, I don't know if I'll be the bachelor. Oh, okay. I think that they wanted him to be the bachelor very badly. Yeah.

Which is so crazy because I can't, when people turn it down or, like, think about turning it down, I always wonder if they are not thinking about, like, a paycheck. Like, if they really are thinking. about like the process which is crazy so and I think that actually that's what I think he was thinking about yeah because I think also he was like ripped apart

from what happened to him with Rachel and I think so when I took away from like hanging out with him I was like I think that he just has a lot more like moral fortitude than I think I ever would you know because I don't think it was about I don't think it was about paycheck for him

I think he was like wait hold on I get engaged at the end of this thing right what if I don't like her okay and that's really cool because then it makes me feel like he was really just being honest on the show and being true to his feelings and okay, good, I like hearing that. Yeah. So what you're saying is Ashley I's in love with him now.

I do. Everyone is in love with him. And he's so oblivious to it. Oh. Which is hilarious. Like, I love, I was with Dean and Peter. Yeah. Who are both the most beautiful, and Ben.

They're like, I was like. You really brought down the group average. Like, do you remember that thing in Sesame Street? It was like, one of these things does it belong with the other? And I was like, hi, guys. It's me. Wells. You remember me?

Wacky bartender. Waka, waka, waka. You're right. See, this is why I should never have been even, like, talked about being the bachelor. I'm just going to, I'm, like, six feet tall. And I'm like, how tall are these freaking dudes? Are they tall? Dude, well, you know Ben's tall.

Yeah. He's, like, 6'4. And I think, like, Peter's probably 6.3. And Dean's probably 6.2, 6. Oh, really? So I was always like, look at these Adonuses. Anyways, like, Peter's like that a guy that, like, was so oblivious to, like, everyone thinking that he was, like, the baloney, you know? Yes.

Thank you. That was a perfect opportunity. You took it, and it really landed. Yeah, it did, right? It landed. Yes. Nice work. Anyway, so.

And I think that was also, like, what was charming about him to me was that, like, he just didn't even. No, what's going on? Mm-hmm. You know? I do like that, yeah, because there are a lot of douche canoes. There are. In that world. And people get very self-absorbed from the attention, and I'm assuming he gets a lot of it.

So, good that it didn't go to his head. But I don't know if he does, because he does live in Wisconsin or wherever the hell is. What is that mean? Is that, like, not a... I don't know. Like, I can't imagine, like... I'm Canadian, so I'm like, where's Wisconsin? Is that, like, a thing that people, like, don't watch TV out there or something?

No, I don't know. I'm just saying, like, in terms of, like, getting your head blown up, you know? Like, go to L.A. for, like, 15 minutes right after everyone thinks you're supposed to be the Bachelor. And he's, like, like, he might be a completely different person. Right. He was, like, thrown into, like, a time capsule and, like, preserved as, like, a beautiful little boy, you know? Oh, man, he would have been a good bachelor, then. He would have been.

Like, so I said it. I didn't tweet it out because I didn't want to seem like I was pandering. Because people used to tweet that about me, and I was, like, shut the F up. But, like, Peter was the bachelor that America needed, but, like, didn't deserve. Right. You know? Yeah. Like, Dean was the bachelor that, like, America deserved to be there.

Right. Totally. You know? Yes. I love Dean to death, but, like, that's who America deserved. Dean was so funny to me because he was never someone that stood out to me, this is nothing against him, but, like, I didn't get the hype because I was like, he just seems like such a young boy to me.

Yeah. He just seems like, like, Paradise, totally. Get it. But Dean, as the Bachelor or all these girls just swooning over Dean, I was like, he just seems like a young boy to me who doesn't know what he wants. Yeah, but I think that's, you got to remember, like, what the demo is. There's a lot of young girls watching that show. Yeah. And so, like, the 23-year-old guy is, like, right in their wheelhouse.

How old is Ari? Well, I thought he was really old. I felt really bad when the gray hair threw you off. Yeah, it did. So when I got announced, I was like, is it going to be kind of weird that, like, this, like, old dudes dating, like, a bunch of 23-year-old chicks? And then you realize that Nick is actually older than Ari? Then I realized I was older than Ari. What?

No, you're not. I'm 33. I think he's 33 or 34. Oh, really? Yeah. He's around there. After that, I was like, ooh. I just forgot my own age because when you said you were 33, I knew you're a year older than me.

And I was like, wait, that doesn't make sense because I'm like 30 or am I 31. And I'm like, oh my gosh, I'm 32. Are you 32? I'm 32. Yeah. It's okay. You look great. Thanks.

So do you. Thanks. I feel great, so. That's all it matters. That's because we've been drinking wine. It's because the bologna hasn't kicked in yet to our health. Okay, are you like a healthy kind of guy? I know you like your bologna, but do you like healthy foods?

Yes, I do. Okay, have you heard of Daily Harvest? No, what is that? It's superfoods straight to your door. Are you noticing a theme here that I like... You like stuff just sent to you because you're lazy. Exactly. But I'm healthy at the same time, so it balances a...

it out. Yeah. But it, I just like when things are delivered to my door and they just show up and I'm like, cool. And this, you get to choose from smoothies, activated breakfast bowls or ice cream. Oh, what does that mean? Vegan ice cream Sundays. I was with you. You watched the documentary. I did watch what the hell. So there you go. Have you had the nice cream? Yeah, it's delicious. This is the best part about having, you know, doing these reads and finding out about these companies is that I want to, If I'm going to talk about them, I want to know that I like it. Yeah.

So they send it to me, I get to enjoy it, and then talk about it. Because if I didn't enjoy it, I wouldn't talk about it. I feel like if I had an ice cream and I liked it. You'd talk about it. I would just eat all of it until like it was no longer healthy for me. Until it's not nice cream anymore. It's mean cream. Yeah, exactly.

It's just a single serving cup that you heat up. What do you do in 30 seconds? What can you do? Will. I'll tell you. you what you can do you can just add water or you can add other

liquids such as coconut milk almond milk actual milk whatever the heck you want you just heat it up in 30 seconds everything's organic and looks as good as it tastes so you can get three free cups in your first box if you go to dailyharvest com with your promo code you guessed it vine

nice now I have notes and I've just gone that I like that I've gone all over the map But now I've lost my notes. Oh, I know. This season was the first season I ever watched Paradise. And so I was watching and the whole, what do you guys call it for the tell-all? Like, it wasn't women-tell-all or men-tall.

It was the Paradise, like, live thing. Yeah, well, that was new for this season just because they were trying to fill time because we had such a short production schedule because of the stoppage. Oh, okay. So I could just tell, like, I felt bad for Dean when he was, because you could tell. he was just like, he knew he screwed up. And he's just like, you know, again, young guy doesn't know what he wants. And I knew Christina, like, just seemed like such a badass chick and so cool. And, like, her accent is everything.

Yeah. And you could just tell, like, there was love between them, but also that he just felt like an idiot. Yeah, he did the thing that, like, every young guy does is, like, all of us, hot girl walks by. Oh, look at that. You know, like, he just did that. Yeah. So Dean has lived a really tough life, right? Like he lost his mother, like he's kind of estranged from his father.

And he's also like this really good-looking guy and a really sweet guy. Yeah. And I think a lot of people have made excuses for him for a very long time. Yeah. And unfortunately, that's to his disservice. Yeah. Because he has never really probably had to answer for bad mistakes. Yeah.

Because people can be like, give him a break, dude. Right. He's been through a lot, you know? Right, right. Or he does something stupid and he can bat those big blue eyes. And every girl's like, I don't even care. What were we talking about? Yeah.

I'm back in. My vagina's dancing now, you know? Oh my God, those eyes are the baloney. So I think that he's never had to deal with that. Yeah. And then he had to deal with it, but he had to deal with it with, like, national. television. Which is so difficult because people are ruthless

and don't care what's happened to you in your life and they are not afraid to tell you. Yeah. And I think in the moment and while it was happening, like in the moment and then like afterwards and then like watching it back, I think those are probably the most painful things for that dude to experience.

Totally. But I think it was probably the best thing that could have ever happened to him. Yeah, I agree. And he'll probably learn so much from it and that sounds like he is. I think he did. Like I honestly I think it was a very pivotal moment for team. Yeah, I agree. That's cool.

And you know what? It sucks that he had to live it out on national television. Yeah. But it probably will do him a lot of favors. Honestly, like, I don't know if I think the show makes a lot of people better people. But I think some people it does. Some people are so delusional that they think that their edit was so terrible. No, you're just kind of a douche, dude.

Sorry, like, that's just how it is. I know. You know, but like. There's only so much an edit can do. You can't use TV magic to make someone say something that they didn't say, you know? Well, you kind of can. You can. You can.

But you should also be smart and always say someone's name right before you talk about them. Yeah, it's tough because even on Paradise, I was listening to like the tone of the voice. The audio, yeah. Where it's like all of a sudden you don't see them talking and there's just some B-roll. And then all of a sudden their voice is like, yeah, she's really hot and blah, blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, oh, that was like cut and pasted. Yeah, that's true. But, I mean, for the most part.

But I totally agree with you. The most part, like, that's who you are, you know. Yeah. Anyway, so I think, I was really, I'm really happy for Dean because I think that, like, I think it was a really good thing for him. That's all, that's my take on it. I think he probably would agree with you. Yeah, we talked about, like, ad nauseum in Vegas.

Yeah, yeah. And I was like, that sucks. Like, you know, like, I wouldn't wish that on, like, anybody. But also, like, it doesn't matter. And people forget so quickly. So quickly. They have no concept. Yeah, no.

And people, like, in a year, people will be like, oh, wait, what? What? The Amazon Paradise. Yeah. Like, it's crazy how easily people forget. Yeah. Unless you're really thirsty and you stay relevant. Like me with a podcast.

Everybody has a podcast. I know. What is it about Bachelor people that are like, we all have a. I got one. I know. I try. Yeah. What is yours called?

You're a favorite thing? You want to do it right now? Okay. What is your favorite thing like this week? What do you mean? Like, what's your favorite Netflix show? What's your favorite Instagram follow? What's your favorite?

What's your thing this week? Comedian, I don't know, whatever. What's your favorite wine? Oh gosh, I have so many. Yeah? I don't have one favorite. You don't? No, I don't.

Well, no, I don't. Okay. I honestly, my thing right now, what's my favorite thing? I feel like... Is it a baloney sandwich? No. I feel like it's home decor right now. I'm really invested in my...

home and and looking at like Pinterest on like home stuff because we bought a house. Yeah. I get it. I just bought a house to Airbnb. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I'm all about it. That's fun.

Wait, that's a big job. I know I got my brother doing all that crap. Okay. That's his job. I just talked to somebody who bought, did the same thing and she's talking about like the taxes and everyone. I won't get into that. Yeah.

We don't talk about taxes on off the vine. Taxes. That's stupid. We need to talk about the fact that like I for a very long time have said that I was on your season and not Jojo's season. Yeah, okay, tell me about that. I told you this at the wedding. Evan and Carly's wedding.

I think that's where it was. It was, yeah. There was just a lot of, like, I don't, I'm not going to name names and stuff, but there were these guys for my season who at the time were totally cool. Oh. And then when the show ended.

They were hashtagging their own name and making t-shirts? Yes, and I was like, I don't want to be involved in this. No. So I just started telling everyone that I was on Caitlin's season. And I feel like that would make sense.

They'd be like, oh, they're both funny. Who do you think's funny or me or you? I don't know. You are pretty funny. I'll give it to you. I am. You are. Thank you for your honesty.

You're also very humble, which is a great thing to have. Yes. I'm like, I hate agreeing with compliments, but I'm really trying to be better at that. But I'm like, yes, I am. Thank you. I think you're, okay, here's what I think. Yeah. I think I'm, like, I'm funnier in a way where it's funny that I'm a female and have, I feel like, kind of a dude's sense of humor.

Definitely. So I think I'm funnier just because I'm a girl. And you're like, oh, you're just a funny guy. There's lots of funny guys. Yeah. That's true. Not in our role, but, like, you know? I agree.

I think that you are funnier than me. I also think that, like, if I actually was on your season, I don't think that it would have worked between us. No, we would have just been, like, brother and sister. bantering movie quotes and, like, being funny. And then I'd be like, I can't date this dude because he would never take a back seat to me. Exactly. Yeah.

Yeah. It would never have worked. But I would have loved to be on this season because I feel like you would have floated me for like at least like up until hometowns. Well, yeah, because you would have had great like commentary and you would have been great in like the ITMs. Yeah. No offense, Tanner.

I don't think you listened to my podcast. It worked out for him, all right? It did. It worked out for him. But that was totally they're like, let's keep, let's keep JJ. and Tanner around because they're good in ITMs. They've got funny one-liners, and I was like, okay, and then you know that they, like, had other plans, not for JJ because he's, like, not even going to go there. But Tanner, you know, like, he's a good guy and he's funny.

Yeah, he is really funny. Yeah, he's awesome. And so I feel like they knew he was going to go Paradise. Yeah. So they were, you know, buttering them up for it. I remember doing, I remember doing Jojo's season, and there's a producer that, like, also does Paradox. I was in the middle of it and there and she was like, hey, well, I got to go back home to L.A. to like get ready for paradise. And it was like, Wells, I hope I get to see this

summer. And I was like, I'm doing, I'm still doing the show. What the F? You're like, that was the moment where you're like, oh. Oh, like, I have no chance here. And it was kind of earlier on. Like, we hadn't like left the country and I remember being like, okay, I've got no shot here. Yeah. So then it was just like a war of attrition. Like, let's see how long I can last here. Yeah, yeah. Because apparently I got no shot. He went into survival mode.

Yeah, I did. Yeah. I was just like, what do you guys want me to do? You want me to do puppetry? Yeah. I got that in my bag. Yep. I'll pull it out for you.

That's amazing. That's like when I, when Chris Souls dumped me in Bali on his season, and I got in the limo, and I was, like, crushed and also humiliated. And I was crying, trying to get my seatbelt done up. And Elon is the one in the other seat interviewing me. And he goes, so. Oh, Paradise. You really?

And I was like, you dick. Wow. That's what he said right off the bat. And then I was like, not now, well, I'm like, I was upset that he even said that because then I was like, I got my own head. I'm like, is that why I was here? Yeah. Are they going to make me seem like a crazy person?

Is that what my edit is going to be? Because I am. So, like, you know? Yeah, I mean, you are a little crazy. I'm crazy. Yeah. They could have made me a crazy girl on the show. And I'm like, great.

And then I'm going to end up in paradise. Yeah. My dad would hate me. But now Paradise is, like, respected. Well, it's, yeah, it's so little. Actually, I don't know after this last season, and kind of made me in a tail of die, but still. Eh, well, this is the first season I watched.

Yeah. But the whole, like, trailer for it was a lot worse than what it actually was. Yeah. It wasn't, yeah, whatever. I don't know. I thought it was a good. I thought it was a fun season.

I really like Raven. I do, too. She was Paradise. Yeah, and she, like, narrates the whole thing. Like, it's so funny because I, because I, Because I lived it, and I was like, I wonder who's going to be the person. For a long time, I thought it was Alexis because she's, like, really, really funny. But Raven also got to have, like, a different storyline, too, because on Nick's season, she was like, well, it's me.

I'm the girl from Hoxie, Arkansas, and I've never had an orgasm, yada, yada, yada, right. And then she comes to paradise and she's like. She was, like, so sexual. Yeah. Yeah. So she got to, like, have, like, a different narrative, which is, which I think is, after, like, now becoming good friends with her. her like that was much more of who she really is right yeah you know yeah I always forget where these people come from and what seasons they're on and I'm like oh yeah yeah because I didn't watch

that one uh why because you were you didn't want to watch Nick on TV again yeah is that one okay that's fine yes actually that's fair yeah just being honest I mean I like Nick and I was also like enough I don't have anything against him nothing theme but yes I agree with you it's like we get it you like being on TV that yeah which is now I'm like what's he gonna do I don't know I know that I think that he and I are background dancers for Ben in a lip sync battle coming up here and you are not yeah why do I not get to do a lip sync battle I feel like I don't know Rachel he's going against Rachel I know yeah you should do it To be honest with you, I should do it.

Ben is... We should do it. We should, like, to be honest, yes, to be fair, we should be the ones doing this. Yeah. Because I'm so, yes, I realize that everyone loves Ben, but, like, he's too nice. Wait, everybody loves Ben, but he's so unlovable. I know. That was a funny, when I remember, so I never, I wasn't in this world before.

Yeah. But I live with my sister for a couple years. I was saving money for a house. I live in their basement, and then, as you know, every Monday night, we'd watch a Bachelor. Yeah. And I remember walking up and watching that season and saying, unlovable. What do you mean unlovable? He's breathtaking.

He's a beautiful specimen of a man, and he's like 25. What are you talking about unlovable? I know, I know. Literally, no one's never not loved you. Yeah. It's his thing. I know. And then he does the thing where he, I love Ben, I really do.

Oh, yeah, he's amazing. He does the thing where he, like, really connects with you. Yeah. Which is kind of annoying because you're like, I'm like telling you all my secrets right now. Yeah. Yeah. I was supposed to say he should have a podcast. He does.

He does. He does. Yeah, does he get people to spill secrets because they, like, confide in him? I don't know, but it's so, like, I've been on that podcast and it was a phone call. You got to be, like, in the room with Ben. Yeah. You know? Well, I just feel like you got to be in the room.

for a podcast. I did one over the phone and I did not feel. No, they're the worst. Yeah. Phoners suck in the radio world. Phoner. We will never, unless it's Paul McCartney. Yeah.

Or something like that, we will never do a phoner because it sucks. You must get some, like, serious people in here because of Nashville. Yeah. Have you heard of dynasty? Like the, not Duck Dynasty. Like the soap opera, Dynasty. Yeah. Oh, you know this?

Yeah, I'm an American. Oh, I'm not. I know. Do you guys not have soap operas in Canada? Yeah, like days of our lives. Yeah, well, that's American. Okay, so what you're saying is you like soap operas. I don't hate them.

Like, I grew up, like, I have two older sisters and a mother that, like, loved daytime soaps. Yes, I grew up loving them. I would make my mom record while I was at school. This one, Dynasty, the powerhouse soap opera of the 80s is back. It's back? It's back in full force from the CW with the producers. of Gossip Girl. Ooh, X-O-X-O.

Yep, and the O.C. Who didn't love the O.C.? What? Best show of all time. Who'd you, Misha? Or summer. Or summer? Summer.

Yeah, me too. Big summer guy. Big summer guy. The Carrington's are a family that has it all and we'll do anything to get more. Blake Carrington rules the dynasty with an iron fist with his daughter Fallon, ready to take over the family business until Crystal. Oh, snap. Her father's gorgeous young fiancé shows up and is just as ambitious as Fallon.

I like the name Fallon. It's cool. This time the women are bosses as they fight not over men, but for business and family. That sounds dramatic. For the Carrington's, those are the same thing. New episodes every Wednesday after Riverdale, only on the CW. Get into Riverdale at all? I want to. It's good.

Is it? It's not bad. Yeah. I like it. Hey there, I'm Victoria Shade, the host of PetMD's Life with Pets, where we celebrate pets and the people who love them. Each week on the show, I'll explore a different facet of pet parenting, from troubleshooting challenges like litter box problems,

to dealing with muddy paw prints on the couch, to learning all about how you can help dogs and cats by fostering. You'll hear from amazing guests, and on most episodes, you'll also hear from Millie, my studio pup, who likes to snore in the background. We've got new episodes launching every Monday's, so make sure to listen exclusively at Podcast 1.com. the new Podcast One app or at Apple Podcasts.

And it would be great if you could rate and review the show so other pet parents can find it. That's PetMD's Life with Pets. Learn, laugh, and become a better pet lover along the way. Now back to Off the Vine with Caitlin Bristow. Dude, do you want why I tweeted today? What? Was it bad? Dude, this is what's scary about Twitter.

What? So today, I wrote, There are a lot of things wrong with this world right now, but the fact that Eric from Boy Meets World isn't really famous anymore is up there. You're right. At which point, Eric from effing Boy Meets World responded. He did? He did.

Nuh. They made me feel bad. Wait, Eric or Corey. No, Eric. Corey's older brother. The handsome little devil. Yeah, who was hilarious. He was so funny.

Yeah, you're right. You're right. And he responded. Then I felt like a jerk. He was like, there's a lot wrong with the world. That's not one of them. I'm doing okay, though, and it was like, oh, I'm not trying. All I'm saying is, like, I'm a huge fan of yours.

And, like, you need to be, like, on a more prominent stage. He's like, well, you should have just tweeted that then. But that's what I was saying, like the, and I wasn't saying that. It's a valid point. I wasn't saying that he's not famous. Yeah. I said the fact that Eric from Boy Meets World isn't really famous. Right.

He's not like Brad Pitt. Yeah. Tom Cruise guy. Right. You know? No, I hear you. Anyways. It's very valid, too.

Like, I agree. I've never thought about that. but now that you mention it, why isn't he? Feeney? Like, oh my God, that show is so great. I still watch it. Oh, my God. I should tell you my story about...

Okay. What is your story? Is it every guy in the world's story? No, so two weekends ago, I'm like burning all my content from my podcast for your stupid podcast. This is ridiculous. Give it up. So I was out in L.A.

I was presenting an awards show. It was for like this dog award show. show. A dog award show? Why was I not? It was amazing. So it was like it was called the Hero Dog Awards. Yeah. And it's for like, it's like a lot of like veterans who are suffering from PTSD and like dogs. Oh, like Decker Dogs. Yeah. Yeah. And then there's like other dogs that do like go like cancer awards and like do all this crazy stuff. And then they give awards to dogs. They really give it to their owners. So I was presenting at it. That's so special. And and so one of the presenters, so at the presenter's table, it was Topanga. Yeah. Her name is Danielle.

Danielle Fischel. So she's already there with her boyfriend. Then I stroll up and it's just them to. You need to look up a picture of her right now. But yeah, go on. She looks great still. She does. Still hot.

Like still Topanga hot. Oh, no way. And I was like, oh my God, that is Topanga. I'm sitting next to her. Which is like every guy your age is dream. I know. Yeah. Yeah.

In the span. Oh, look at her. She's great. She's great. Oh, God, the lips and everything. Oh, everything. Everything. Yeah.

No one else is sitting there, but I don't have a day. So I go sit right next to her. Yeah. And I'm like, hey, is anyone sitting here? And they're like literally no one's sitting at this table yet. So like, you're weird, but whatever. So I sit down. And so like they're chit-chat and like they're like doing their own thing.

And then the food service comes. And I think she's a vegetarian. So she'd gotten her salad already and she was eating it. By the time I got my salad, the guy comes around with the dressing. And he's like, hey, do you want some dressing? So then I go to her. I'm like, I got to have some like in here. So I was like, how's the dressing?

Is it delicious? I try out. So I try this? What should I do? So she was like, oh, it's great. And I was like, awesome. I was like, throw it out. It hit me, buddy.

So, like, he throws on some dressing. And then I go, like, harden the paint, like, fork into freaking lettuce. Yeah. And at that moment, a big splooge of freaking dressing flies up in the air, like, all dramatically. And it lands right on her presenter's gown, like, that she just walked the red carpet. And it wasn't, like, on the edge, like, down by her knee. Now, was it, like, a vinaigrette? Was it like a creamy?

It was a creamy situation. Of course it was. And it wasn't like down, down like by the knee where like it wouldn't be an issue. It was like right on like the chastal area. Oh, right under bristicles. Right up. Right in the boobers. All right.

And the arioleas. Yes. In the area of the arioleas. Okay. Okay. Terrible. By the way, Topanga's boobs. The bologna.

The best. Topanga's boobs are the bologna. That will be my tweet after this podcast comes out. So, so she, she turned to me, it's like, what, what, what did you just do? And I was like, oh, my God. So do you remember that scene in old school when Luke Wilson gets really wasted and he spills the coffee on the girl? And then he's like, I can fix this. And he's like, drunk and he's like trying to heal.

Yes. That was you. Yeah. So then like Lee Romini comes in. She's like, okay, you've had enough stop what you're doing. And so I was like, I grabbed my towel and I was like going for her breasts, like clean it off. You're like, this is my chance. And I was like, in the middle of it, I was like, oh.

I can't do this. So I stopped. Anyways, so then I had to spend, like, the rest of the night, like, kind of, like, buttering them up and, like, by the end of it, like, we are, like, best of friends. What color was her dress? It was black, I think. Or, like, it was a darker color. It was a dark color that creamy dressing would show up on. Yeah, it wasn't good.

Okay. That's an unfortunate but also fortunate situation because you spilled creamy dressing on Topanga's boobs. You got to kind of almost touch and have a reason to look at her boobs. I know. And you became friends. I know. Exactly. And like the good bit.

Great bit. Right. Yeah. So I'm not mad about it. No. You're making this podcast great with bologna, Topanga, and... And Eric from... Like, I could seriously do like 50 minutes on like Boy Meets World if you really want to.

Well, we'll just have to do part two. Yeah, next time. Yeah. Or we can do this on your podcast. Yeah. I know. You realize that, by the way, your freaking assistant or whoever, like, reached out to me, reached out to, like, my, like, contact wells thing, which I very, very rarely look at. Yeah. And then I remember talking to her, I was like, why doesn't you just text me if she wants me to do this?

And she's like, well, you know, I like to take care of all this. And I was like, that's all I'm good. I will agree to it. But she has to come on my podcast. Yeah. That's fair. So that's the rule here. Yeah. That's totally fair. I would, yeah, I'm a big dog, so I have people to reach out to your people. Yeah, I don't have people, but I do respond in that email chain as if I'm somebody else, by the way. Yeah, of course.

100%. It's genius, because if people know you're responding, well, they're going to know now, but. I know. Dang it. No, you have people. Sometimes you respond as your people. Yeah. But yeah, because you've got to seem professional.

Yeah, and like you want someone else to be the jerk for you. Right. And you don't want people like if it was like a fan girl to go now email you about something and you respond. And then they're like, oh, well, I'm going to keep asking dumb questions. If it's well, it's going to actually be responding to me because people are crazy like that. Yeah. They just want, they'll ask you anything. If you respond, your DMs must be a scary place.

Yeah, it's a weird spot. It's a weird spot. But it's not. Enjoyable. My DMs aren't like everyone else's DMs. I've seen some things. Oh, I'm sure your eyes have seen. I have been, like, across the River Jordan and seen some things, all right?

The river. Is that like a Michael Jackson? No, I don't even know. I don't know. Like the River Jordan. If, like, Jordan hadn't gotten engaged to Jojo, like, I can only imagine, like, what his DMs would have looked like. The DMs of guys that come off The Bachelor must be, like, I would love to do a segment on that. Can I go in your DMs?

Yeah. Really? Hold on. I'm telling you, mine aren't that interesting. I don't care, though. I don't have to read the ones that you've responded to, but go to, like, the, like, request DMs and let me just, let me just see a couple because I'm like, I guarantee there's so many. It's just a lot of people responding to, like, my story, though, you know?

Okay, okay. It's a lot of, like, oh, you're funny, or like, yes, you know. It's not good. I won't say names, but I live in Dallas, but I'm in town watching my girlfriend at blah, blah, blah. I'm not going to say it. Yeah. Okay, yeah, I can't say something that's out loud. Does that one, does she want to get into Miley Cyrus's show?

Yeah, yeah, okay. I know, I saw that one already. Okay, I'm just going to scroll a little bit. This is going to lead me into my other segment that I do called, Can you not? Okay. Can you not? And you have to say it like as Valley Girl as possible.

Oh, my God. Can you not? But like you can't even recognize that you're saying can you not because you're like, can you not? I can do it. I can you not? But I was thinking of. doing like creepy fan girl edition where it's like there I respect and love all the people

who support us and people that are loving and sweet but the ones that like oh oh no you got a good one I don't have good ones yeah I'm telling you there's some good ones I wanted to start an Instagram page called sliding them DMs you should where where you know how like a lawn does like Tinder nightmares like here you just got a phone number that's funny okay yeah let's call her let's put on the hotline let's see what happens Oh, my God, I want to. There's, look at, two phone numbers in a row there. Yeah.

That's funny. Okay, yeah. What were you saying, Tinder Nightmares? Well, yeah, you know how there's that, like, Tinder Nightmares or, like, what's the other one? Oh, my God, another phone number. Yeah. My shitty family. Yeah.

Those ones where it's just like. I just keep opening them and they're all phone numbers. Yeah. Like, what are you going to call her and be like, sell your number and my DMs, sup? So I wanted to get, like, everyone from the Bachelor world to screen. shot like the weirdest slide in DMs thing and then post those wait that's really good it's a really good idea right well you should probably do it before this airs so that nobody else starts it i know no you have to okay what are you gonna call it i want to call it slide in them dms because i

think it's hilarious yeah like i have received a couple dick picks have you in my dms yes i have two so i'm really yes oh yeah i yeah that makes sense i know i because i'm i think i'm thin and like What does that mean? I think that like... That gets you dick picks? I just think like I'm like an unthreatening. I think gays love me. I'm thin, I'm threatening, funny, you know.

They eat you live. Yeah. They're like, ah, yeah, we could see him at play or wherever. Oh, yeah, I've been there. Fun. My friend is going to buy me a shot of tequila if you message me back. I want to eat tacos and adopt dogs with you. You didn't respond.

That was September, November. Hi. Passing through nasty. Phil tonight. I would love to meet you. You don't respond yesterday. I mean, I stay sliding in your DMs, so what's one more? My phone number is. So speaking of dogs, have you heard of Barkbox? Yes, I have. You have? Yeah. So, okay, so hold on, by the way, my dog, who's name, who has his own Instagram account, by the way. Yeah, obviously. So does ours. Oh, really? Yeah, Tucker Doodle Dog. Oh, mine's Carl the Bloodhound.

Okay. It's got like a lot of followers. Anyways, they hit me up and they were like, hey, Carl needs a bark box. Oh, perfect. So it's like Fab Fit Fun, but for dogs. Okay, this is perfect. I'm so glad you know about it. Yes, it's the monthly subscription service with dog toys and natural treats.

Yeah. Your dog gets it. He did, but he hasn't gotten it in a while, but now that I know that you've got the hookup. I got the hookup. I got the hookup. I have a discount code for you. Do you? What is it?

They would probably give it to you anyways, but I just think Tucker loves it. You can choose like your dog's size, how often you want deliveries. You can cancel at any time. Each box comes in a fun monthly theme like poo york. Oh, nice. Which is hilarious. I like that. You can replace anything your dog doesn't like for free, order anything your dog loves at any time, free shipping in the U.S.,

and you can get a free extra month if you get a six or 12 month. month plan box um but yeah they'll hook it up for you if you go to barkbox.com slash vine what's your promo code you go slash vine oh that's it yeah oh because your promo code's fine got it yeah got it but yeah that's okay let's do the can you not okay just so I just want to make it clear because people get very easily offended as you know oh I know and I like being offensive sometimes to like a healthy like a reasonable area you know it's like a fine line where you can offend people and be funny. I'm not offending fan girls because

fan girls listen to the podcast. Fan girls are the reason we are where we are and support us. But these are like the creepy, inappropriate ones. Yeah. Okay, so that like naked, nudie DMs. Yeah.

Can you not? No, can you please? Wait, I forget I'm talking to it. Dude, usually, now you're going to get a bunch. No, I know. Usually I'm talking to females And I forgot, I was talking to a male. Can you, can you please?

Can you, like, please? Aerolize? Just can you? Now you're going to get, like, you're going to get DMs of, like, girls of bologna over their baloney nymphs. Yeah, like from Varsity Blues when she does, like, the whipped cream thing. But now with bologna. Yep, that would.

That might be worse, though. I don't know if anyone wants to see that. Yeah, don't do that. Don't do that. Okay, do you have a can you not? of like when I meet people or just like do you ever have like a creepy experience where girls are like not okay okay I'll do like this anything here's the can you not like oh my god I can't even the thing that annoys me the most is when people say and this is such a petty

stupid thing and I realize it's coming from like a good place but like oh my god I'm so a big fan of yours because you're not a fan of mine like um and or when they'll say, like, oh, my God, you're a big celebrity now. Oh, yeah. That annoys me, too. You're different because you were the focal point of a television show. I was just on this silly television. I still don't feel like that makes me a celebrity.

There's a huge difference to me between a celebrity and someone who's recognizable. Yeah. So someone who's a celebrity has, like, a talent, right? Right. If you are a fan of my radio shows and awesome, then I'm a celebrity to you, I guess. Yeah. But if you're a fan of, like, me being on television, That was just me being me, you know, whatever.

Right. You're just a fan of the fact that you've seen me on that television show and I was recognizable. Yeah. You know? Yeah. So, like, I realize that they're trying to be nice, but it annoys me. And I'm like, ah, no, that's not weird. You're like, can you not?

Yeah, can you not, right? Yeah. And of course, like, of course if you, uh, when people say, um, you probably get this all the time to, like, take a picture. Like, you probably get this all the time. But is it okay if I take a picture? Of course you can take a picture with me. I realize that this is going to end. so soon. I'm soaking

all of it in. I am riding the damn wave. Yes. All right? Yeah. I have to remind myself to like not be, because I'm also a female where I'm like, I want to roll out of bed and go to the airport and not get my picture taken. But then I'm like, who am I to like, be like,

no, I can't take a photo. These people are probably the people listening to this podcast and I can't be like, no. So then I'm like, I want to be grateful and I want to be thankful for them, but I'm also like, can you not because I have no makeup on. Yeah.

No, I get that. It's different for you, for sure. But also, like, can I just say something? I said this to you at the wedding personally, but I'm going to stay on your podcast. Okay. You did this thing while, which I thought was really great, where you were like the Instagram and Twitter, it's all full of, it's all full of, like, pictures with makeup and Photoshop, and I'm going to post a picture of myself with no makeup.

Yeah. And it was really inspiring to a lot of women, and I thought it was really great. But I remember thinking, shut up, Caitlin. You're still hot. Like, what are you talking about? Well, yeah. Yeah, I was still like, yes, you're still hot. I don't know what the, I guess there's a difference.

There's a difference between guys and girls. I think most part guys are like, hey, whatever. I'm not sure there's a difference. Yeah, I hear it. Girls, I think, are like, oh, my God, her eye mascara was definitely. Can you not with the eye mascara on it? I think my whole thing was more. about the principle of like what you see on Instagram with everything just so heavily edited and photoshopped and picture perfect and this like whole thing of what girls do on Instagram and guys too and it was more of like look I posted a picture yesterday where I was like full makeup I swiped right on the Snapchat filter that clears everything yeah I was having the best hair day and I had the best lighting and then I posted one the next day no hair extensions no makeup

same angle, same everything, just no filter, just to, like, prove a point that, like, yeah, my skin did look flawless in that one photo. And in this one, I still have really good skin. Yeah, I'm sorry, you still look good. But you know what I mean. It's the principal. Yes, I thought it was a really wonderful thing. Yes. It was more of, like, a joke where I was like, Caitlin, shut the hell up.

Like, what are you talking about? But I thought that was really good. I will take that as a backhanded compliment. Yes. Shut up, Caitlin, but you still look good. You still look great. All I heard was you still look great. All right.

Cool. Here's something that really bugs me. Okay. Can you not? This is a can you not? Okay. I'll post a picture with, let's say, you. If I post a picture with you, I get a ton of likes, okay?

And you're great and wonderful, and I think the world of you. Then I'll post a picture of a dog that needs to get adopted. Yes. And it doesn't get as many likes. And I still think I look good. It's a good picture. I look good in it, you know? And I'm with a puppy.

Like, what's wrong? And nothing better than that. Yeah, like, I feel like that is pandering, but it doesn't get, and it doesn't get as many likes, and it annoys me because it's like, well, this is like the one thing that I give a shit about, you know? It's because you have a passion and because you really care and believe in that kind of thing and you want to make a difference. Yeah. So when it's a pointless picture and you get more likes because it's somebody over something that you want to make a difference in the world with animals and being adopted and you don't get that, it's like what's wrong with the world. Yeah, right? Yeah.

Or like, what did I not do right? Like, should I have posted it, like, on Tuesday night at 7 o'clock instead of like... Oh, yeah, the high traffic time? Yeah, you know, like I get that, you know? Yeah. I don't know, man. No, I hear you. I get frustrated over a lot of that stuff, too.

I'm like, I'm trying to make a difference here. Yeah. Like, appreciate it and help me out. Or people, you know, like, if it was like, hey, I'll call you if you donate a dollar to this charity and then they will. Yeah. But, like, just donate the dollar. It's really easy and you're, like, going to make a difference. Yeah.

You know, that's something that comes with having some sort of following on Instagram. you're able to do these things, but you have to, like, bribe people to do it. I know. It's so bizarre. How bizarre. I was thinking the same song. I can see it going. I could see the wheel spinning in your head and you were singing it.

I was. Did you know that the singer of How Bazaar died? Autoerotic asphyxiation. Yep. How bizarre. Was that right? I don't know. There was something.

That's in excess that did that. I don't know. I don't even, yeah, you have the big, I have like a cracked computer. or computer cracks. Don't you think that says a lot about my confidence that my phone is just shattered and I haven't fixed it in weeks? Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

So like if I'm single. Yeah. Wait, are you? I'm talking to somebody. Oh, okay. Bachelor-related? No. I made a rule.

I made a rule a while ago, actually, that I don't date in the bachelor world. But what if you really like her? That's fine. Then I'll break those rules. I'll break those rules. I don't care. Real strict rules you've got me. They're more like guidelines, all right?

It just sounds so much cool to say, like, I made a rule that I don't do this, you know? I hear you, yeah. Like, I cannot. It cannot even. So, what was I talking about? Dogs. No. Oh, cracked phone screen.

Oh, yeah, yeah. So when I was single. So when I was single. I triggered it. And I was, and I was like talking to a girl and I was like, all right, this girl is, like, really pretty. and maybe we'll hook up a little bit later. If their phone was, like, destroyed, I would be like, that says a lot about, like, who they are, and I just don't know if, like, I feel safe going home with you.

Oh. Do you know what I'm saying? Oh, I thought you were digging it because you're like, you know what this chick doesn't give any ofs. No, like, it's very reckless abandonment. Okay, okay. You're thinking, like, aggressive, she's aggressive going to hurt you. Yeah, or who knows?

Okay. Like, who knows what's going on? in that girl's mind where she's just like willy-neely letting her phone fall and just cracking all over the place. Right. You know, she doesn't have her priorities right. She doesn't have the money to fix it.

She doesn't have the, exactly. Yeah. Like, what's happening? Right. Terrifying. So if I saw you in the bar and we were chit-chatting and I saw your phone, I'd be like, you'd run. I'm out.

Really? Yeah. You are very particular. I was looking at how bizarre. You look, you, oh, yeah, that's what you're doing. You look for anything to run, don't you? You're like, oh, crack, screen, I'm out. Yes

Yes How can I not commit to anything I'm out Don't judge me No I'm not Oh this one excites me It's called Yum Earth They sent me obviously

To my door Love that convenient By the way Caitlin hasn't left her house In three years And since 2004 I love it It's just so convenient

I've got a sweet tooth Yeah I also I mean I've just got a everything tooth Sweet or salty But I love Canada I've got a food tooth. I've got a food tooth.

And this is actually perfect for Halloween. So it's gluten-free, nut-free, dairy-free, and non-GMO. You know how the kids love those these days? It doesn't use artificial colors, flavors, or corn syrup. It's flavored by real fruit juice, lollipops, fruit snacks, licorice, and in time for Halloween, candy corn. Dang, man. I know. So that's also, it helped me big time because now I have candy to hand out, and I feel good about handing it out.

Oh, my God. You're using this candy? Yeah. You're re-gifting? Yes. You can't re-gift for Halloween? It's a gift that keeps giving. It's candy for kids.

The parents will love me. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. Everything's in snack size to keep you from enjoying too much. It's good. It really doesn't stop me. It's that good. It tastes good and you can pronounce everything on the label, which I appreciate.

I'm not a good reader anyways. I've noticed. Yeah. Thanks. You can get 15% off your first order if you go to yumearth.com with promo code, fine. Do you want to answer some questions And then I guess we'll wrap it up Do you want some more wine?

I mean, I'm out You know what? Just a little bit though Because I want you to have something No, no, no, okay I thought about bringing two bottles Because Yeah, what are you thinking?

That's a rookie mistake Yeah, God I'm ashamed of myself That's my confession You're better than that I'm an idiot Can you not come in this studio And bring more wine?

Yeah, that is like rude I showed up with one bottle That is rude Okay, so We're going to get real deep with these questions. They're very riveting. I bet. Why isn't Wells the Bachelor? What's happening with Danielle? Are you single? Are you single? Here's my number. Why do you wear beanies year round? That is one of them. I know. I saw that one. I'll answer that one. Oh, right, because

it's on Twitter so I guess you can see it. Yeah, I can see it. Okay, answer that. I'm going to find, wait, who said it? I don't know her last name. Her name was Amanda. She wants to know why you wear beanies year round. Okay, so I have really, really curly hair. Okay. Like Brillopad, bad. What? Really? Really curly hair.

Why don't you rock an Afro? I mean, like when you watch Paradise, you'll see it's like my hair. My hair in Paradise is as long as it is now. You're like, Monica from Friends. Yeah. But in Paradise, it was so humid and hot that it just looked like my normal hair. My hair is like really, really curly. And so what I found was that if I wear my beanie, like, after I get out of the shower, it just keeps it straight.

And then they don't have to, like, put any product in it or whatever. Well, I'm not going to lie to you. Your hair right now is not straight and you're wearing a beanie. I know. It's very curly. I don't even know what it looks like. I've got to, I'm going to do this thing. It looks like you got a perm, maybe, but like a really bad one.

Well, yeah, I know. So it goes kind of cramery. Oh, you're very creamery. You're right. Hey, buddy. Hold on. It is very cramory. This is why I'm not the bachelor guys, by the way.

It's the hair. They were like, seriously? Seriously? Maybe you could have just got like one of those straight perms where they like, you can do that. I don't want to do that. You're like, I'll stick to the beanie. They look cool. You know the guy that does like the wardrobe, Carrie?

Yes, Carrie Thetman. I love him. So this is a guy that like does like all the wardrobe for the bachelors and bachelets and stuff. I imagine that like when they're like talking about all this stuff, I can just see Carrie coming in being like, his hair is unreasonable. No way could he be the bachelor Yeah I could see him doing that Kelly I always picture people's last name

Earman I'm gonna say Oh Earman Know what I do What If something like earman It's like spelled earman Yeah I always like to like do the opposite of it is

So I would be like Man ear No so I'd be like Kelly like toe woman Or like nose woman You know like I flip it Yeah So if something's like

You are insane I know Yeah And that's how my brain works Like it doesn't You know Did you watch my season Of The Bachelorette

A little bit Did you see when Ian This guy Ian My sister loves you by the way Really? Oh hi What's her name? Marisa The girl that I was

My sister that I was living With the time Yeah Was like she's like She's the best She's like cool and edgy And got tattoos And like doesn't give a fuck

Yeah Anyways sorry There's Marisa She loves you I like her Yeah But I always flip. Is that what I was saying? Yeah. I always flip things. So, like, I'm trying to think of

something. Like, um, like kid rock. I would call him adult sand. Like, I, like, I love doing stuff like that. Yeah. That's what I was saying. Ian from my season, he was like, you know, I'm not here for fart jokes and you're very surface level. And I was like, I fucking love a good fart joke. Like, I was like, oh, that's too bad that you don't like fart jokes. This is never going to work. Yeah. God. God. But yeah. So, anyways, Kelly Earman, so Kelly knows.

Toe woman. Woman. Yeah. Uh, wants to know your taco topping of choice. Is this like a thing for you? You like tacos? What are you? A basic girl?

Yes. Do you eat them on Tuesdays? Do you wear shirts with tacos on them? First of all. And say, let's talk about it. No. First of all, I do have a shirt, but it's for charity. Okay.

I can make fun of that. That, it says taco saves lives. And it goes to the National Humanist. I'm trying to say puppies. Okay. But, yes, I do love tacos. Not just on Tuesdays. Okay.

Every day. Okay. So you're not that, but you're like, and you're doing it for charity, which fine. I respect. I respect that. Okay, what's your taco topping of choice? Ceylonchro. Really?

Yes, and I realized. And that I know is controversial because some people, like one and four people think that cilantro tastes like soap. It's like a, it's like a scientific fact. Yeah. And I tell you what, Chipotle. Oh, yeah. If you're not, if you're not going to have.

If you're not going to have cilantro available, that needs to be on the front door, all right? I didn't even know that coming in. Yeah, because cilantro lovers are like a real thing. And you either, people always say you either love it or hate it, but I'm one of those weirdos in the middle where I like it. Yeah. But I don't, if it's on it or all that. Yeah, I'm indifferent. But I feel like people are like with cilantro, it's like you either love it or hate it, but I'm that weirdo in the middle.

I hear you. But yeah, cilantro for sure. Really? Yeah. Okay. Okay. Big cilantro guy. Big cilantro guy.

Big cilantro guy. Slauncho is like the bologna. I was just going to say. So what do you think about cilantro on your bologna sandwiches? Oh, man. I'm all about it. Somebody by the name of Potato Head, who I think is a big fan, because they're like the Twitter egg, and they seem to tweet a lot at you. But they would like to know facts about you that would shock Bachelor Nation. Like the bologna thing?

Yeah, shocking. I mean, that was really shocking. Like, can you actually make a margarita? Do you know how to bartend? I was a good bartender. I think I was an okay bartender. Okay. The beautiful thing about Paradise was, by the way, I like, I bartended in like college and stuff.

Yeah. That was like my, I was like, yeah, I could do it. Yeah. The beautiful thing about Paradise was is that all those people are so self-indulgent that they want to look great. As you should, by the way, if you have cameras on you, you want to look good. So they all drank the most basic of bitch's drinks. Oh, like skinny margues? Exactly.

Yeah. I made probably three margaritas. Really? I probably, I no joke, probably cracked seven beers and five of them were for me. No joke. What? And when I was on Paradise, that's all. I gained 10 pounds on my season just from drinking because I was like, I don't get a shit.

You might as well. Like, I was The Bachelor in Paradise for five, for technically eight days, but five days on the show. Yeah. And I got to see what it was like to be you. Yeah. And so there's this producer named Louie. And I remember making a joke being like, I want to make a PSA as to why no one should want to be the bachelor because it's the worst job in the world. It actually is so difficult.

I was like, you never sleep. No, never. You never sleep. You really, I mean. Constantly hurting people and disappointing everybody. Everyone's upset at you. Everyone's always like, come on, let's do an interview over here. And then you got to go and do that thing.

and then you get to the point where you get you get run down a little bit and you're like I'm just going to come across as like just like a prick if I if I go have a conversation with somebody and then you're so broken that you're like what do you need me to do and say I'll do anything just let me sleep after this exactly yeah I only did it I did it for eight days I filmed for eight days I went on three dates and four days and I had two row ceremonies and I remember when I was doing it I was like uh I need to send I was like give me my someone give me my phone and they of course I wouldn't I was like I need to text Joe Joe and be like, I'm so sorry for ever saying anything mean about you because your life

effing sucked for two months. It really is so hard. I'm glad that you say that. I wish a lot of people could look at it that way because it really takes a toll and you cannot please everybody. Like you can't. In fact, you're just constantly disappointing everybody. Of course.

And all of America. And yourself too because you're like, what did I sign up for? Yeah, exactly. It's a tough gig. it seems so glorious and like if you would ask me five years ago I'd be like that would be like a dream yeah fast forward into like even just being on the bachelor and seeing that world or that side of it like as a contestant I was like wait this is hard yeah like this is messed up and then being the lead and knowing even more behind the scenes and everything that goes into it and what you're doing I'm like I remember being like I want to call Chris same thing and be like dude those when Ben saw him me after he was the bachelor and I had let him go, he was like, I have so much respect for you for what you've done. And I'm like, I knew you'd feel that way.

Yeah. A small part of me, I know I said I would die inside if Sean was the bachelor, a small part of me would love if he could be the bachelor and see actually how hard it was. Would you go back on if he was the bachelor? Yeah. Yeah. I'd be like, you didn't get rid of me. I'll find you.

Seriously, though, not happening. Okay, a couple more questions. Ashley, Ash, wants to know how you got into the Bachelor world. Did your sister sign you up? No, my brother, so I'm the youngest of five. Okay. Oh, nice. And where are you in the sibling thing?

Youngest of two. Okay. My oldest brother, who's like one of my best friends. Yeah. He lives out in L.A. He was like a model and an actor, and he's like the, good looking guy in our family and he's Eric from boy meets world he exactly okay exactly okay that's what I'm picturing um and he's like super gregarious and like everyone loves him he's just like

that guy and uh someone like a casting director approached him and was like hey dude you I've been watching you with the past hour like everyone loves you like this is weird you need to be on this show and then so like he started doing the process yeah and right the end he was like I'm at this girl I'm not I don't want to do that I don't want to be the bachelor But this is a testament to, like, my brother. Yeah. He's a guy that, like, never loses friends, which I'm, like, the worst at that. Yeah.

Like, I will just write people off. Yeah. I need to work on it. Anyways, like, three years down the road, or it was, no, it was, like, seven years down the road, I got dumped. And it was, like, kind of like, an whole ordeal. And, like, everyone in my family felt bad for me. And my brother was like, do you want to go on The Bachelorette? And at the time, I was doing this radio bit where I'd go to, uh,

casting calls for commercials. So I'd be like, if this was our radio show, I'd be like, you'd be like my host and you'd be like, what do you got going on today? I'm like, oh my God, I got a meow mix commercial today. I got a callback on a meow mix commercial. I'm really excited. I used to do that too. Yeah.

So I'd go to it. But like the whole radio bit was that I would always fail. Yeah. And then so I'd come back the next day and they'd be like, how do the meow mix thing go? And then I'd be like, I didn't get it. I just don't know what happened. And I'd tell a story and like, this silly radio bit. Yeah.

So when this all got brought to me, I was like, oh. It came on. This is going to be the greatest radio fodder in the history. I was so excited. I was like, they're never going to pick me. Like, I'm like this hipster, skinny dork from Nashville. Like, they're never going to pick me. So I went into it like that.

Yeah. Like my first audition was like, I don't give an F. Yeah. And they loved it. And they were like, okay, you got to go to this thing. So then I had to do another thing. And they're like, all right, you got to go to L.A. And then I did that.

And I kept doing the thing where I was like, I'm never going to get this. So I just want to play it like I don't give a F. And then you started giving a couple Fs. There's like the last interview. You don't know it is your last interview. But they do that thing in front of all the producers. Oh, I know. Isn't that the worst?

Well, and I got- Got naked. Did he really? Yeah. I got offended. It was kind of funny. So I was wearing this jean jacket, which I still wear, and that has all these pins on it.

Yeah. And they kept on making fun of my pins. Yeah. And they meant something to you. Yeah. And I was like, they were like, what's the deal with the pins? I was like,

these are my 14 pieces of flare, dude. That's like an office space reference. So they're like what? And I was like, well, so like one was like a Wilco pin and it's a band I like a band. And I was like,

well, that's a band, but you guys probably never heard of them because you guys were all like sucking Justin Bieber's whatever. And then so it was like toes. Yeah,

which who wouldn't? So it was like a lot. I probably went to. I got annoyed. I was like, how dare you question my coolness? Yeah, you guys are producers on The Bachelor.

Do not think you're above me. That's how it went. And then at the end, they were like, dude, we love you. And I was like, really? I was so rude to you guys. You're like, oh, you like that. I was like, oh, okay. Where were that came from?

Slat their out a little bit. That's funny. That's how I got on The Bachelor, my Bachelor. And then I remember walking in to that room because they were watching that TV. Yeah, yeah. And they have that chair right in front of the TV and they're like, have a seat. Yeah. Oh, it's crazy.

God. I know. And they're like, hey, we were just watching you. And I was like, oh, hey, about that five minutes ago. I didn't mean it. I didn't know. I didn't know that this was like a thing. I know.

I remember sitting in that room. It was like 8 a.m. and I had a mimosa and I was in like a tight-ass, sparkly dress, full blown hair and makeup. And I'm like, what's going on? Yeah. Why am I doing this? I should have walked in like sweats. Yeah.

Because that's me. Yeah, but it worked for you though. It did. Like I came in there like looking normal. Yeah, I should. Yeah, maybe it's good. They probably saw me and was like, oh, she's going to be good TV, and then ended up being like, oh. We love her.

Well. And then Snapchat happened. And then they hated me. Okay. Last question is from me. Okay. How did you get out of the limo to meet her? And how did you exit?

So I got out. Yeah. I have to old school movie quote. Yeah. I remember when he's like, hey, is that cheese? And they're like, oh, yeah. cheese and then they're like didn't we lock you in a dumpster and he's like yeah I got out that just reminded me of Jeremy Piven yeah go on you got out so I got out I remember I took a step

I was wearing like I was wearing like great socks that night and she was like oh look at those socks okay and so I got out and then I did like the self-deprecating thing that I do all the time and I was like oh man you are so far out of my league is ridiculous oh that you said that's what I said Oh, that's your move. So I was walking up to her. Yeah. And she was like, no. And then I was like, hey, I'm Wells.

And she was like, Wells, like, because that's a weird name, obviously. And I was like, yeah, Wells. So I gave her a hug. And I was like, hey, obviously you don't know me, but I'm a radio DJ. She music is like really important to me. And I feel like the best way to tell someone how you feel is through, like, music and songs. Yeah. So I brought some friends with me.

Yeah. And then she was like, wait, what's about to happen? And I yell out like, hey, you guys ready? I say something like that. Yeah. And that's when all for one, the band that sings... What? And I swear.

Yeah, of course. I like how you held your one side of your earphones, like you were them. You really channeled your inner. All for one. All for one. So then they come out and they sing the song. No. Yeah, they sing, I swear.

How do I not remember this? I don't know. Maybe I went to like fill up my wine at that point in the show. That was when it was. I was the second to last guy. And so I remember like the, it was like Chad being like, no one's impressed me yet. And then like, then they show mine. Yeah. And then after that, it's like Jordan being like, I think, well, it's kind of won the night.

But then he like made out with her that night. So like we all knew that he had won the night. But anyways, so then they start singing. And then they cut it out, but I was like, you want to dance? And then we dance for a little bit. And it was like a really cute thing. And then, but they also cut out, which was really badass that I wish they had kept, was the band followed me around. everywhere I went that night.

So if I'd be in a conversation, they'd be behind me. And then if, like, I was annoyed by the conversation or, like, I thought that, like, they could add something to it. I would be, like, sing, guys. And they start singing behind me. They cut that out? Yeah. And then they show it when I go talk to her, like, a little bit later.

Yeah. She was like, what's the deal with this? And I was like, yeah, these guys just follow me around. Like, this is a thing. Like, if you go to Subway, like, they're going to be there and be, like, talking and singing about sandwiches and stuff. anyways oh that's weird that they cut that out that's really funny there was so much stupid stuff that went on that first night yeah yes I do know yeah they had to make mine two nights I know because you had another girl there right I had to compete I know to be that was a bad decision I think terrible it did not land well with anybody and like we were in like 2015 where like like women we've already made a comeback yeah you don't do that anymore we should probably wrap us up right it's like two hours now what's your longest podcast ever like an ass hour. You guys still out there?

Is anybody, or are we just talking to nobody right now? Well, whatever. I'm entertained. As long as I see it, paycheck. Oh, girl. Wait, what do I get out of this? Well, we're going to pump your tires for your podcast. All right, cool.

You get more listeners on your podcast. That's what I need. So if anybody's still out there, listen to your favorite thing podcast. With balls and brandy. How did you meet brandy? Same group of friends. Oh, okay. We were set up, actually, years ago.

Oh. And I think we both were like, we're not each other's type. No, but you became friends. Yeah, she's awesome. That's cool. I'm excited to meet her. I'm excited to be on your podcast. Thank you for being on my podcast.

Anytime. Anytime you want to burn two hours on a podcast, I got you, girl. Also, if we did have another bottle of wine, this podcast would have went longer. So maybe it's a good thing that we ran out. Yeah. This was like a very, what's the word I'm looking for? Like, this is what happens at the end of the podcast after all. And I'm like, when is that word I'm looking for?

Like, it set me up for, like, I don't have to do another day. Yeah. I can just, shut up, Kailen, whatever. I'm done. Yeah, it was just, we're, you're good. You're good for like. Bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye. I'll tell you what, though, your podcast, it's the baloney, man.

You know what? Right back at you. You know what? You're the baloney. Thanks. Yeah, you're welcome. Okay, well, wrap it up. We done?

Yeah. Tell me when. I feel like I need to say, if you guys don't want to miss an episode, then please download the Podcast One app and subscribe on Up. Oh, actually, you know what? I'm going to be doing something very exciting. Check out the exclusive AMA on the Podcast One app. And if you download the Podcast One app in the App Store, I'm going to go on October 29th at 4 p.m.

Pacific Time. 7 p.m. Eastern Time. You can send me questions, and I'm going to be talking live to everybody on the app. What app is it? Podcast 1. Okay, cool. Yeah. I'm down.

Are you? No, I'm not going to listen. I knew. That's why I called you out. Okay, I am. I'm Caitlin Bristow, and I will see you next Tuesday. I'm kind of drunk. Thanks for listening to Off the Vine with Caitlin Bristow.

Download or listen to new episodes every Tuesday on the podcast 1 app, or subscribe on Apple Podcasts or at Podcasts.com. And don't forget to rate, review, and share. Hey, it's Adam Carolla. Now, if you're hearing my voice, it means you like podcasting. And if you like podcasting, well, then you're going to love my show. Lots of funny segments, good bits, great guests, and of course, Mois. That's Mexican for me.

So, check it out at Podcast One, iTunes, or wherever you listen to find podcasts, the Adam Carolla show. Throw on your phone. It's free. Thank you.