Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Wells Adams II

Episode Date: November 6, 2018

Kaitlyn and Wells catch up after the Emmys to talk about Kaitlyn's wardrobe malfunction, Wells' relationship with actress Sarah Hyland of Modern Family, and they share their perspectives on the various relationships from Bachelor in Paradise. Brush Hero - Check out BrushHero.com and use code VINE for $20 off orders over $100 See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Welcome to Off the Vine. I'm your host, Caitlin Bristow. Back by popular demand. Wells is in the studio. People really, like, you might have been the favorite guest of all my guests. You and Chris Harrison. Yeah. It's an honor.

Yeah. I also feel like you've kind of run through all the people you can, and now you're just on, like, the second iteration. I know. I'm like, oh, God, I have to go back and, like, start over and, like, have redos of the same people. What are we going to even talk about? Yeah, we can't, like, do a whole other, like, baloney bit. Oh, then I'll just delete it.

that out of my notes. Damn it. Just kidding. Yeah, that was so, so old. No, we have to. All right. Well, because you guys, your podcast with Brandy is all about,

what's your favorite thing? I mean, you talk about a lot of other things, but what's your favorite thing? So then I'm like, well, that's the baloney bit. Like, what's the baloney for you right now? Is this like the first question of the interview? I don't know.

I'm just diving into the baloney. You're like, yeah, we can't do the baloney thing again. I'm like, or we could start with it. Yeah. Still love baloney. Not going to lie about that. Does Sarah? of baloney? Yeah, she does. Oh, great. Great. Okay. I think the thing that you don't realize about

Sarah is that she came from like really humble beginnings. Like, uh, I could see that. Her story is insane. And like, what is her story? Well, like it's, our stories are so different. Yeah. It's like jumped straight into my girlfriend, but whatever. Um, well, I just had to make sure she like baloney, but you could tell the story. Well, like, I mean, we couldn't have come from like different places. Like I came from like a very well to do family. Like my dad's a doctor. My mom's a housewife. Like I was the youngest of five. I went to Catholic school Yeah

Private school Yeah And she lived Like she tells these stories Of like Living in a 300 square foot Like walk up in New York

Yeah And like sharing just a bathtub With her Because like you know They're all like struggling actors And so Was her a whole family Into acting in that

Yeah And stuff? Yeah And her dad's like Dumbledore In the new Harry Potter Right now She's super rad

That's cool But like I like Bologna just because I'm a weirdo and I like I'm delicious where like she'll talk about it where it's like more like a necessity growing up it's like you know it's cheap meat

but she appreciates it too yeah well because I remember last time we talked which was over a year ago not that we talked but like did the podcast you were saying oh you had first met her wait you were telling me but you weren't announcing who it was yeah yeah but I told you like we did like a Bachelor Canada or something

And I think I told you, like, backstage, like, dude, I'm dating the girl from modern family. And I think you're like, no, you're not. Yeah, I was like, yeah, that's a cute lie. Nobody likes a liar, but okay. That's a fun lie to tell yourself. Wow, delusion is great. Yeah, tell me more. Yeah, but that's funny.

Now you guys are freaking in love. Like, wow, that's amazing. Today's our anniversary. I saw that on Instagram. I was going to say happy anniversary. Thank you. I mean, when this comes out, it won't be, but who cares? We're in the moment right now.

Well, we had, like, a long conversation, and it wasn't even like a fight, but it was just like, what do you consider an anniversary? Yeah. Like, because so I, I consider, and it's all a moot point when we decide to get married because this date goes away. It falls by the wayside. But, like, I always thought that the anniversary was the day that you, like, your first date, right? Yeah. Or, like, the first date, you didn't make out maybe. Okay.

And she's like, no, our anniversary is on the day that, like, we'd be. became boyfriend, girlfriend. Oh. So I'd love to know what your thoughts are. Yeah, see, I'm with you. Except I've had this conversation with Sean where we're like, what's our anniversary? Yeah. Because we met, had our first date, but I was also dating multiple men.

Yeah. So does that count as like an anniversary or is that, is he like, let's forget that time? And like our anniversary is when we got engaged. And then do you celebrate, like, what would you, if you got engaged, would you celebrate your anniversary of engagement or no, right? No. I think once you get engaged, your next anniversary is like your wedding day, right? Yeah.

Poor Sean, that's a PTSD on that day. Oh, yeah. It's just not, like, it's so funny because he actually forgot our anniversary last year. And then he's like, well, to be fair, like, it was kind of like, like, you had just dumped a guy five minutes before deciding, like, I guess I'll pick this guy. Like, you know, he's like, I don't know what was happening that day. Like, I don't, and I'm like, yeah, okay, you forgot our anniversary. At the end of the day, you're a dick right now, okay? Just, just own that.

But yeah, I'm with you. I think anniversary is when you go on your first date. Yeah. So that's what, that was my argument. And so, and I feel bad because like a month ago, I posted a picture of like, this is the, this is the anniversary. I was like, a year ago today, I kissed you for the first time. Yeah. So then like every news publication was like, congratulations.

Oh, it's a year anniversary. And I was like, oh, God, no, because we are saying that our anniversary is, well, this day. You're like, no, I'm just really fucking cute. And posting them when we kissed. first yeah that's romantic have you always been are you romantic yeah I'm pretty romantic I wasn't romantic on the television show I feel like well yeah but you didn't really have a chance to be true I never had an opportunity yeah if you did you would have been yeah I think I probably would have turned it and they also cut a lot of things that I thought were really romantic

that they didn't show because they were like this asshole has no chance of winning anyways we're not going to show it right let's save him for a paradise yeah exactly well wait wait wait What's, I'm trying to think of your time on the, oh, your Jojo season. Yeah. I can't remember. So many seasons pass and I'm like, I honestly don't remember anything. I don't remember my own season. Yeah, I mean, like the only thing, what did I do?

That was romantic. The fireman day, I almost died and I was like, I'll keep doing it. People thought that was romantic, but that really wasn't a romantic thing. Because also, like, we had met her like the night before. Right. So it was more like, I'm not going to look like a total pus on TV. Yeah, no, you can't do that. Yeah.

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MyBite Vitamins. It's the vitamin that you've been waiting for. You went to two weddings this weekend? Two, back to back. A double-header wedding. Wow. That's a lot. And are they like... And I do weddings.

I believe you do everything a little hard. Pretty hard. Hard in the paint. Caitlin Bristow. A memoir by Caitlin Bristow. That's what my book's going to be called. By the way, so today is a Monday. Yeah.

And your manager would ever reach out to me and was like, hey, can you come in and do this on Monday? And I was like, yeah, fine. That's fine. And then so last night at 12 at 12. 39 in the morning, I get this fantastic voice memo. Hey, well, Caitlin Bristol, I'm wondering if you wanted to podcast Tuesday instead of Monday. We're in Malibu, and everybody moved their schedule the Tuesday, and I literally would only be coming to where? To podcast one?

To podcast one for you. all do. Oh, thanks. Oh, which I'll do. So, just let me know if you'd rather do tomorrow or Tuesday. So I think I sound so... You sound great. Put together. I mean, I was just like, oh, okay. And I get it, like, going for Malawi over here just for like one thing. I totally understood. So then I responded to that being like... This morning.

This morning when I woke up being like, yeah, I can do Tuesday, but it's got to be later in the afternoon because I've got meetings or whatnot. And then you said, wait, so you can't do today? And I said, huh? No, I can do Tuesday. but I have to be there a little bit later and you said I'm so confused we were scheduled for today right and you're saying that now tomorrow is better and I said finally I like respond with it with voice memo being like you asked me to do Tuesday last night at one in the morning and then you respond with yeah I don't remember that I'll see you today because I was so funny because I really didn't remember so I was so confused by you saying you could do Tuesday and I'm like wait why would we do Tuesday we're scheduled today and I really had no recollection and then you just sent me that voice note, and I'm like, I sound pretty put together for being blackout. You're like, eh. But listening back, I'm like, I think I was really trying because I knew what level I was at. And so I think I was really trying to sound put together, which I think I did a pretty good job of.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I like, the beginning of it is pretty telling you're like, hello Wells. Caitlin Bristow here. So where am I supposed to be tomorrow? Luckily I had Cleo in the room with me Who tells me everywhere I have to be in when

But oh my gosh So I'm struggling a bit today But two weddings in a row We'll really get you I know good for you man Well and in different cities Palm Springs was the first one Oh wow

Malibu the second You know what my book's going to be called What Go hard or go home But don't go home hard If you do go home hard Make sure someone's with you Right

you know that's just the like other little tagline yeah yeah that's what my book's going to be called um okay i was because i'm trying to think of like confessions because we confess on this podcast and i'm like i do have a good one so last night i go to this wedding and i'm like into yellow right now yellow's my color and so i go and i'm wearing this really beautiful yellow dress and i walk in and we take pictures and then we go and then we go and And it was a no phone wedding, which was great. And so we put her phones away and we walk in. And Cleo, we sit down and everyone's sitting down and we're waiting for everyone to start walking down the aisle.

And Cleo looks at me and she goes, is there a dress code? And I was like, what do you mean? And I look around, everybody is in black. Oh, really? And it was on the invitation to wear black. Oh, yeah. Danielle told me about this. Because Danielle Maltby was at this wedding, right?

Yes. So everyone was wearing black except for the bride who was wearing white, right? Right. And here I am in yellow. That's par for the course for you though What is with me and like wardrobe malfunctions? Like why do I do this to myself? Okay by the way I want to ask you about that

Because first of all, why the were you at the Emmys this year? Great question. That's question 1A. Yeah. Two, the wardrobe malfunction like in the audience was really, really funny and I was like following along on your Twitter and everything.

But knowing you and knowing your sense of humor, here's my second question. Was that a bit? that's funny because no one else questioned me but in my head I'm like I totally would have done this for the like for the tweets yeah it wasn't a bit it all really happened and I could have been pissed about it because it was very unfortunate but I was like this is funny like how can I spin this into being like super funny I don't know how I was at the Emmys I really had no business being there I don't know like the sterling vineyards wine yeah I did a thing with them in Napa and I guess

I was a really good time and they were like oh we're going to Emmys they're like the main sponsor for the event. And they're like, do you want to come? And I'm like, imagine saying no to going to go into the Emmys. Like, of course I'm going to. I thought I was going to meet Sarah for the first time. I know. And for the first time in what, like nine years, they weren't nominated?

Yeah, it's a touchy subject. Oh, it is? I mean. Well, I mean, it should be, they should be nominated. Agreed. I don't understand. But, I mean, that whole world is so, like, it's all politics, right? Totally.

And I think they're just not the flavor of the month anymore, you know? But they have been for nine years, which is so solid. Totally. It's still such a great show. It's the best. I love it. I like watching the Emmys and the Oscars and stuff. And I have to say that I thought that the weekend update guys were really awkward.

Oh, you did. Cleo loved those guys. And I was like, it was kind of like, it was really funny when he kept saying, you good? That was funny. But yeah, I found it awkward too. But I'm surprised you watch it because they made a joke at the beginning. They're like, thank you to the like thousands of people who are here at the Emmys and the 100 people at home who are watching. Because nobody watches those shows anymore

I like I mean like obviously for my job So much of it has to do with like being up to date with pop culture Yeah I guess so And I also like watch a ton of shows Aside from being like a part of the zeitgeist Of that weird machine Yeah

And so it's very much like a sporting event for me like Oh that's true Like Marvelous Mrs. Maisel I was like this is going to win every freaking thing And then it did you know And I love that show Bear I was like rooting for things And pissed off that things weren't getting

nominated so i i enjoy it and i also of course like the the comedy but they opened up the number with that like oh of course that song and i was just like oh god i know i was cringing too because i'm like oh why do we always have to just make like such a joke and like it's always such a thing yeah of those kinds of shows but that's how i knew it was like kind of like a slow day in the news or like the emmys weren't that greatest because my wardrobe malfunction was like a thing yeah but it was just it was really funny like I remember watching it like you doing it yeah I was like this is going to be like a new story and then like next day it's so funny Caitlin bristow wardrobe model yeah and then I felt so bad because haley page like makes these

amazing dresses and in my head I'm not thinking like oh this is going to make her dress look bad but it's what the thing was it wasn't her actual zipper we had to tailor it to my body so the like last minute tailors threw in like a different zipper so then I'm like felt bad after because I'm like oh that makes her dress look like Like, you know, but it wasn't her. It was, it was me. It's my stupid body that I had to change the dress for. Yeah.

There's a little bit of bad publicity, though, to be honest with you. Yeah, that's, I mean. She got a bunch of love from someone that she probably thought was going to get her no attention. Right. At all. Exactly. None. I was like, wait.

When I was like walking, I'm like, so am I doing the carpet? They're like, are you up for something? I'm like, no. They're like, yeah, you're not walking the carpet, Caitlin. Like, get over yourself. So did you go, like, sit in front of like a step and repeat? and it was like someone taking my picture really quickly. Yeah, so I tried to make it look like I was on a carpet

because there was like, we actually, this is actually another confession. So Cleo and I were there and we went in and then I was like, I can't believe I didn't get to have like a moment on the red carpet. Like I really wanted a moment. And then so you couldn't go back out once you were in the building. And we like talked to a manager and we're like, do you think we could just go back up for one second? Like we'll just be one.

And they let us go. So then we like quickly made it look like I did have a moment. And then everyone's like, oh, get a image. No, just Cleo taking my phone and taking a picture of me, not on the carpet. Listen, I'm a firm believer in Never Let the Truth get in the way of a good story. And you know what? You were on that freaking red carpet, all right? You're right.

In my mind, I was. Yeah. And on Instagram I was. Exactly. So I was. My favorite thing is so obviously. You did the thing. Your favorite thing.

Yeah. But I love going to those events with Sarah because she has to walk the red carpet. Yeah. I don't, you know. Wait, you don't get to, like, stand by her side? It's, oh, we always have a conversation beforehand. Like, do you want, do you want me to be a part of this? Like, what's going on?

For the most part, they don't care about me at all, which I totally get. Right. But sometimes she's like, no, no, no, I want, like, a cool picture of us together. And so if you ever want. And she knows how to work a carpet. Oh, yeah. And I don't, I don't know how to do it. I don't either, but I pretend.

Listen, I, my best attribute is my smile. Like, I know that's, like, what I got. But, like, no one smiles in the carpet. Like, you know, it's like all sultry looks and stuff. That's true. So I, so one carpet, I was like, I'm going to not smile. I'm not going to do it. Right. And then.

Looked like an idiot. And then you never walked a carpet again. Yeah. Well, so I don't know. Like, for people that have never done this, it's a weird thing where like, they will have your name, right? Like it's printed out. And then before you walk the carpet, they put your name up to all the photographers. And they're like, Sarah Highland's about to come, you know?

Yeah. And so everyone knows. And everyone already knows it's her. But then when I get there, they're like, it's like, it's like, who the, who the What is this guy? Who is this? And they don't know what to do and they're all like panicking.

Like one flash goes off. That's because there's so many photographers there and like people, that's so funny. Just one flash like, who'd that? Yeah. So there's one time where they were like, who is this? And it was at IHard Awards. And I work for, I work for this company. Yeah.

And so she walks the carpet and comes back and gets me and she was like, we're taking a picture. This is your work. Yeah. And so the person was like, wait, wait, who is this guy? Who is this guy? And she goes, it's fucking Wells Adams. He works for this company. And I was like, yeah.

That's my girl. But also I was like, oh, they have no idea who I am. Yeah, it was like a really like nice moment for you and Sarah because you're like, she loves me. And then you're like, but I really took a shot to the ego. Yeah. Like they took you down a couple notches. Yeah. Nothing really like ego checks you like dating someone as like beautiful as she is.

It's true. I've thought about that for you. Love you. It's poor kid. It's like so like it, it's nice to know that you have, you know, like you can, you got it. You still got it, you know? Yeah, I know. But at the same time, it's like, you're not the like big one in the relationship.

No, I know. Which I'm fine with, but I do, I wonder if people sit there and they're like, oh, this. No. This poor guy is way, like has way out. Like overachieving. Yeah. No, because you guys are, like, stupid, cute. You guys are, like, really, I feel like, meant to be together.

And, I mean, I'm basing this all on social media, and I know that social media tells me nothing but the truth. Yes. But, like, you just, you guys are really sweet. I know it's only a year in, but you're now living together. Yeah. I know this is probably the number one question that you get. But what's the one thing that you guys are like, oh, like, budding heads over in the house?

Not a lot, to be honest with you. Yeah, it's pretty smooth transition. It's been pretty easy. The dogs were an issue. I was going to ask about that. Do they get along? Do they get along? They get along, but my dog is really, my dog is only ever lived with me.

Right. Right. And so now he's thrust into this world where there's two other dogs. My girlfriend, of which he likes. Yeah. And then her brother lives with us too. And now he's gotten really protective over me. Yeah.

Oh, that's so sweet. He like, is kind of like being aggressive to her brother. Really? At this point, he's like, who is this guy? What's happening? Yeah. I think it's just a lot, a lot for him. That's so sweet, though.

God, I love dogs. I know. But, and now, so at first, Carl, my dog, and her dog, Boo, were kind of fighting because it was like a power struggle, alpha male, whatever. Yeah. And now they're kind of, like, in love, and it's really cute. Oh, sweet. But now he's protective over her. Right.

So if someone starts petting her, he will, like, growl because he's like, that's my girl. Oh, they're in love. I know. I'll show you a picture that we took of them the other day where they, like, they look like they're kissing. It's ridiculous. I really love your dog voice. Yeah. Because I always say if Tucker could talk, he would sound like Rodney Dangerfield.

Yeah. He gets no respect. He's just, I feel like he's like, he wouldn't be, like, aggressive like him, like rude. He just has that voice. Like that just weird, like, like, like, voice. Yeah. But I really appreciate your Carl voice. Okay.

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I have a question for you. I want to adopt a golden. Yeah. Because there's this company Adopt a Golden Nashville that I'm obsessed with. And I want to adopt a Golden eventually. Can you change their name? Yes. Oh, you can.

For sure, yeah. Okay, because I either want, if I get a golden girl, I'm naming her Blanche, like from the Golden Girls. Of course. And if I get a boy, I'm naming him Fred Rogers. Okay. Freddie. Yeah. And then I thought, oh, would that confuse a dog because you adopt them and they've been used to this name?

And now all of a sudden I'm changing your name. I asked that question a lot when I was working with the National Humane Association, like every week. Yeah. And so they would bring in a dog. And I would always be like, this name sucks. Yeah, they always have the worst names for dogs. Like, if I see another dog on their name Marley. Oh, yeah, exactly.

I'm like, come on. And also, like, have you read that book? Like, no, thank you. I don't want to. Why would you remind us of that? Exactly. So I asked that question. They're always like, dude, you can change the name.

Yeah. It's just the name that we've got to be called something right now. Yeah. So you're fine. Oh, okay. That makes me feel so much better because, yeah, I'm looking at all these goldens and they're named like, yeah, like Marley and like, what's another really like, like spot? Yeah.

Jeff, my podcast producer, his dog is, what, 130 pounds? And he ate huge and his name's spaghetti. Because, wait, what is it? He loves carbs. Well, done. But there's a, this is a cute story. So there's another St. Bernard to the, my dog's of St. Bernard. And I watched my other friend St. Bernard named Meatball.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Spaghetti and Meatball. Yeah, that's great. Genius. That's good. That's good. I like that. Totally.

Fred Rogers, I'm like obsessed with Mr. Rogers, even though I didn't know he died 15 years ago. I thought he was still kicking. Really wanted him to have, to come on my podcast, and then I found out he died. Well, you can get Tom Hanks on. Why? Because isn't Tom Hanks playing Mr. Rogers? in the in the documentary no mr rogers is mr rogers in the documentary yeah i know but like he's like they're doing a film about his life oh they are yeah and tom okay am i right about that yeah okay

tom hanks is like i'm obsessed with him dude i'm obsessed with him and his wife and i call him tommy honks i think john got me on that Tommy honks i would die to have him on my podcast he just seems like a cool guy yeah but not but too cool like he wouldn't come on off the vine he might, I don't know. Here's the, like, did you, like, he and Meg Ryan have the best showmance. Is that what it's called? You've got male? So, yeah, so, like, you've got male and then Sleepless in Seattle, but, like, even older ones. Did you ever see Joe versus the volcano? Uh, no. Dude, it's the best of all three of them. I'm writing this down. What? It is. And so Meg Ryan plays, like, three. I love Meg Ryan. She plays, like, three characters in the movie. She plays, like, her. She plays, like,

herself, she plays like the secretary, and she plays like her twin sister. Yeah. And I'll just give you, like, real quick, just for all your fans out there. That's no what I'm talking about. Doesn't matter. So, um, I think his name is George Banks, is Tom Hanks and he... George Banks? Yeah. Like from

Father of the Bride? I think so. Everybody loves a party. That's what... No, everybody loves a... Party, that's why we invited you. Party pooper. George Banks. It might not be George Banks. Yeah, I think you're making that up. It's Joe versus... Joe Banks. Oh, okay, there we go. Okay, okay.

So he, like, hates his job, can't stand it, goes to the doctor, and the doctor's like, you've got what's called a brain cloud, and you have 15 weeks to live or something like that. And so his, he gets, like, approached by a man who's like, hey, listen, I've got this thing. I own this island, and we need a sacrifice to, like, appease all the islanders. And someone's got to jump in the, into the volcano. And if you do this, since you're already going to die, I'll give you all this money. Exactly. So it's him and Meg Ryan who have to sail to this island and then they get chipwrecked.

And then, like, they become, they fall in love. And come to find out he didn't have a brain cloud. There's all this whole ruse. Oh, my gosh. Don't tell me the ending. Okay, I won't. But it is phenomenal. Wow.

Yeah. It's so good. I'm so glad I wrote this down because I've been looking for a new movie to watch. Yeah. Also, quickly, while we're on this subject, what Netflix show are you into right now? Okay, so, does it have to just be Netflix or can it be like a couple other binge-worthy things? I need to, I need a new binge show. I've done Ozark.

Great. Love it. Love it. I did The Hammaid's Tale. Okay, I didn't do that one, but I know it. Dark. I can't think of anything else. Okay, so we did The Sinner recently.

Oh, I did that too. That's great. Season two wasn't as great as season one. Right. But Jessica Beale is, like, phenomenal. She's so good. So good, Nat. That was, like, going back to, like, the Emmy thing.

I was, like, annoyed that she didn't win. I was too. Yeah. And just because I wanted, like, see her and J.T. Like, be annoyingly cute after she won. Yeah, me too. But whatever. Yeah. I just watched the first, which is Champagne.

This is on Hulu. Oh, okay. And this is, like, I love Sean Penn. Love him. And it's, like, 30 years down the road, and we're going to, to Mars and Sean Penn is like the lead astronaut. Okay. And so the first season's like them just like

just trying to leave. Yeah. That one's really good. I really like, you're Canadian, so you probably know this. Have you heard a letter Kenny? Yeah, of course. We are Twitter friends. Are you? Yeah. Okay. Letter candy problems? Okay, so I didn't know this

existed until like last week. It's so funny. My brother was like, you need to watch Letter Kenny. And I was like, okay, so what is it? And he was like, it's kind of like, it's kind of like the Canadian version of workaholics I feel like yeah yeah but like but dry Canadian humor yeah and that show I'm sorry is so freaking funny why are you sorry because it's Canadian no I don't know yeah you're like I'm sorry it's so funny what because it's Canadian you think it wouldn't be well no because Canadians always say like oh sorry oh yeah okay yeah I don't

I don't no I think because I'm just so hyper aware of like not being Canadian in the States because I'm so sick of people calling me out for certain things like when I first went on the show like alon obviously made so much fun of me for how i said things yeah like a i like it i think it's cute yeah it's endearing um okay wait you didn't confess to me i told you two what am i confessing i don't know anything tell me something like did you fart during sex other night or something no i do not like you'd think after a year of a relationship you're not tooting in front of each i can't i can't do it k shan still won't toot in front of me see i'll toot all day long but see This is what I will do.

Here's my confession. I will fart, but I will go on fart walks where I'll walk away and do it. Yeah, but it's blatant that I'm doing it because, like, where are you going right now? Will you say what you're doing? No, but I'll always do it and I'll, like, look back and Sarah will be like, you're on a fart work right now, aren't you? And I'm like, yeah, because I'm a gentleman and a scholar. And that's what we did. Scholar.

So will fare all of you. That's funny, fart walks. Yeah, a big fart walk guy. Yeah. Confession. I was talking about it the other day. I think that lobster is bullshit food. I actually would have to agree with you because I hate working for my food. Yeah. And it's like you barely get any when you get in there. It's like you worked so hard for like really something that's kind of overpowering and small. Yeah. Of course, you could dip my shoe in a vat of butter and it would taste okay.

Delicious. Yeah. Let's not church this thing up. It's like a sea scorpion that we're like we've aggrandized. as like the greatest meal in the world market price shut up man it's a that's so true it's just a giant freaking shrimp right so i'm not into that i tell you nothing that really grinds my gears oh go on all right um the make your own bloody mary bar is the laziest fucking thing in the world because first of all the whole reason i am ordering a bloody mary is because i'm so hung over i don't want to move now you're making me get up and make my own and i have to tip you at the end for exactly this it's unless i'm get it cheaper, why would I just stay at home and make it myself? I'm here because you guys are

supposed to do it for me. Yeah. And you're like, you are a trained, well, you're a trained bartender too, but like these people are supposed to make a good bloody marriage. Yeah. So why am I now working? It's the same mentality as the lobster. Why are you working for your drink? Why are you working for your food? Exactly. Yeah. I hear you. That grinds my gears now. Yeah. It's annoying. And also like if I make a shitty one? Do I get to send it back? No. I don't think you can't because it's on you, right? Yeah, you're like, you did that. Exactly. It's kind of smart for them. It's genius.

But kind of annoying for us. When I waited tables, I love the bloody narrow bar because it was just, oh, you're like, yeah, there you go. Yeah, there you go. Here's a glass of vodka. Now tip me 20%. Yeah, exactly. But now you're, now as a bartender on, are you going to continue to do that? You do not get enough

air time. Oh, I know. They cut me out. Everything. Super hard this season. And the, um, what is Yuki? Yeah, I don't So I'll just be like honest with you about that I thought it was a funny bit in the beginning And then I was really nervous that If you if you break it down to what it is, right

It's it's someone who doesn't understand English right So that's the bit right Yeah So but we're in a country where all these Americans Don't really understand the language already Yeah And then we're kind of making fun

someone else who it was like the most American thing in the world we're like we're so stupid that we don't even know Spanish right and but we're now we're over here making fun of I felt that would kill who knows a little bit she knows much more English yeah than I know Japanese right so I was I remember being like okay so I I was hoping that the bit was going to turn into her going on a date like that's what I was hoping was going to happen yeah and and because let's be real there there were guys there who are all about, like, the hot Asian trip. Yeah, yeah, that's a thing for guys.

That's a big thing for guys. And I was just waiting for it to happen. And I think that, and I thought it would be a really funny date because you'd have to take the translator. Right. So it would be a two on one no matter what. They had too much other gold to work with. Yeah. But, I mean, like, she was, she was really, really smart.

Like, I was amazed at how intuitive she was with that. Oh, really? Yeah. Like, she doesn't know English. I think that everyone thinks that she was. She doesn't really know English. She could probably understand it more than she could speak it. Exactly.

And she could also, like, you can pick up on things. But the poor thing got dropped in Mexico where she couldn't understand anybody. Didn't really understand why she was there. Wasn't really allowed to bartend, like, legally. She was just like, hanging out. She was just like, yeah, just there. And so there were a lot of times where she was just like, I'm leaving, basically. And I was like, totally get it.

And then I would stay there, like, all night. But then they couldn't show us not together. So I would, like, work all these hours and then they would cut it. you know that's crazy so you really were working all these hours and like you weren't just there for like i don't really understand paradise obviously but it's fun um wait was your confession to me that you don't like lobster yeah okay that's cool i mean i was just circling back and making sure that that was what you're confessing to me that you go on fart walks and you don't like lobster yeah yeah yeah i'll think of some other things that's fair so guys i hope you all know

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Okay, now back to Paradise. This whole Jenna and Jordan thing is still going on. I saw an article today that now she's saying he was different after Paradise and that he was like there's only one, there's only room for one famous person and I'm going to make all the money. I'm like, can we just all move on from that? I mean, here we are talking about it. Yeah, you're doing the thing that you don't want. Because I know that listeners want to hear it. I mean, I'm shooketh of this over this whole thing.

So here's, like, my take on it. Yeah. So this was the year that they let me watch the engagements. Okay. Well, because last year there were none because we stopped and everything. Oh, right. So this year they let me, you never see it, but like we're at the bar. It's like right in front of where the engagements are right in front of us.

Okay. So the idea was that you and I are watching these engagements and we're doing like the, oh, how cute. thing you know and they're supposed to cut to us and we say some funny things but it never made air of course um and so they gave me uh like an earpiece to hear because you can't hear because of the wind and the waves and everything yeah and i remember hearing his his like engagement his proposal to her and i legitimately started crying i was like because it they were so wackadoo crazy people but it worked but it was like only in this weird world does this like like totally makes sense.

Yeah, yeah. And so I was like crying being like, oh my, this is perfect. Yeah. Yeah. So when that all came out, I was like, I was a little team Jenna because I was like, this seems a little too perfect. Like the text message is like, if you wanted to like completely ruin someone, the text message that she has is like.

All, hitting all the points of like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't love him, you know, like, I'm using him for fame. Yeah. And I remember reading it being like... All in like one paragraph. Exactly. Yeah. It wasn't even like spread out.

So I was like, hmm... A little suspicious. Yeah. I was like, I don't know about this, you know? But as the time goes on, it's starting to seem like it might be true. I know. And if that is true, that's brutal. I know.

It actually makes me like a little bit sick because it's like, that's so mean and cold. And like, but I'm like, God, I just want to know the truth so we can all just move on. Yes, I know. Because the article's like on my Twitter. I'm like, okay, it's still happening. It's still a thing. Well, and I saw that, like, he posted, like, the letter that the lawyer. Yes.

Oh, that was intense. And so there's two ways to think about this because if you, when you, just on face value, you're like, obviously Jordan's selling the truth. If he's like, I don't care, cards on the table, here it goes. Right. And I love Jordan. Jordan's not an idiot, right? No.

And if it's not true, doubling down on that is a ballsy, but also probably a smart move. Right. You know? So I don't know what to think. I don't know either. I just wish they would both be like, okay, here's what happened. Genie be like, I did do that. Yeah.

But that's never going to happen. There's lawyers involved now and, oh my God. Yeah. That's just a whole thing. Do you think, I saw someone tweeted this out, like if that news had come out like a week beforehand or whatever, do you think that they would have made Jordan the Bachelor? No. I don't think so either.

No. He's perfect for Paradise. He is. He's not. People love to watch him on TV. And obviously people always just think, like, oh, but ratings. he would be but he's so paradise like he's not um not that i don't think he deserves it but like they go for the safe coltons that's you know like they're trying to have another like sean low i

think because that was like one of the best bachelor seasons ever because of the version thing i guess so they're they're gonna do something i'm like a little worried for colton because i'm like why they picked him they're they must have a little master plan i yeah i don't like are they going is he going to lose his virginity in the fantasy suite and it's going to be like a thing or like there's some i feel like there's some sort of little plan here yeah i don't know my voice crack there uh yeah yeah puberty is fun at 34 that was cute i um have you met jason or um blake i met blake okay he did my podcast in nashville the live one but i haven't i haven't met jason yeah i think that you think they would have been good bachelor's it been fine i'm sure i think that i was surprised

ben didn't double dip to be honest with you i know because i'm sure bachelor world and like producers and everyone would have loved that yeah but isn't he like secretly dating someone i i can't i can't either i really can't you you were in Vegas with everybody so i'm like you must have good stories but i don't like i don't feel like i'm really like in the circle yeah i don't And I was also like, I was working in Vegas a lot. So I wasn't really around them. And then when I was around everyone, that was the time that I got to like spend with Sarah there because she was presenting. So we were kind of separated from the group.

I don't, it was nice to see those guys because I think those guys have been like keeping a real clean nose because they thought they were going to get back soon. And then they were like, let loose. Let's go. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. They're like, we're not in the runnings anymore. Yeah.

Let's get weird. Yeah. So they were nice guys. I think what it comes down to. is middle America. Middle America is going to love Colton. That's why that's Middle America hates Caitlin's. Yeah, exactly.

It was not a fun ride for me with the social media. Middle America, they do not like edgy Canadians. I'll tell you that. I will tell you that. They don't like the tattoos. They don't like the bright lips. They don't like the sassy attitude. They don't like sex before marriage.

Oh, no, of course not. That's why they'll love Colton. Yes. And so he'll do great. That's funny, though, because he's 26. He's so young. He's so young. Yeah.

His frontal lobe is not developed. True. He's not ready. He looks like a baby, right? Like he looks like a very muscular baby. He looks like a really muslin baby. He looks like the Michelin man. But a baby Michelin man.

Yes, exactly. Yeah. Like, you know that movie Boss Baby? Mm-hmm. He kind of looks like boss baby. Yeah. And he cries a lot, too. Yeah.

I like the guy a lot. So I hope this isn't coming across. It's like me being a mean to him. No, no, no. I'm sure he's actually super. I've heard he's super nice. Super nice. Super nice.

I'm just saying, well, actually, you know what? Crying a lot is good TV. Yeah. People like to see that emotion from a lead. Yeah. Oh, totally. There's also a little bit of me that when you start doing something too much, it comes across a little insincere.

Right. Right? Like, that's just like your go-to and you're like awkward or nervous is that you start crying. Like, I don't know. I mean, I don't know. I just really hope that Tia shows up. Like, that's all I really want. Oh, they'll try.

She won't, though. I think she will just to like mess with them. Yeah, and then like leave. She's so funny. She was on the live show and she had a few cocktails. And she, I was like, the next day I thought she's going to be like, please don't air that podcast. But she was like, oh, gosh, I'm scared about the thing I said about dildos. And I'm like, oh, that's what you're scared of.

Yeah, okay, okay, fair enough. But she was like, he could never please me like a dildo. Oh, yeah. It was, I was like, yes, yes, keep going. Keep going. Like, she was so funny. But she was saying she's like, I just don't feel like it's fair that he now gets this opportunity to like find love. And I'm like, well, everyone deserves love.

But I get, she's a little bitter. It's too soon. Totally. For your ex to be The Bachelor, that's probably the worst thing in the world. Can I say the what everyone's thinking, though? Sure. They weren't ever. That's not his, her ex.

Right. It was very, very, like, and I think that that's the problem with delusion. Yeah. You know, like, Annalise, the same thing was like they were so delusional about what was going on. Everyone was telling them, listen, like... He either is like, loves you and he's like all in or not. Yeah, like... If they're not, you should question it.

Exactly. And I think that he was questioning it. Like, he was fighting that thing the whole time. And so... Yeah, because he knew he could be The Bachelor. Yeah. I agree with that. Yeah.

I think that's a little bit. Which I get, too, because it's like, what a great opportunity. Yeah. But I don't know. You did it. I've seen enough people go through it. It doesn't seem like something that is... everybody that's the thing it's it's it's one of those yeah because you know it like it you have to be like

a pretty strong human like emotionally yeah with thick skin and like to get through that and then it takes some time to like people will never understand but like so this wedding i was at last night was where sean and i had our do you know what last chance dates are no it's the date before you either get engaged or you don't so it's you're down to your final two so you have your last chance date So it's like your last chance to like really put it all out there because you could be getting engaged the next day. And I was at this wedding last night that was at the winery that Sean and I had our last chance date at, which was the most awkward date we had ever been on because it was like, are we getting engaged tomorrow? Are you going to pick Nick? Are you picking me?

Oh, this is on a show. Yeah, but you can't tell them that. So I was being awkward because I was like, I can't tell him that he's the one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he was like reading me like, why isn't she doing this? She must be picking him. So when we're, like, standing at the top of this winery, I'm standing there and I have to stay on a place for camera reasons. And he's like, why isn't she running up to me?

And I'm like, why isn't he running to me? And then the whole date was so awkward. And it was like a really emotional, like, weird time. And that's where the wedding was last night. Oh, really? At that spot, right where we sat and had that last day. And I honestly got so overwhelmed with emotion because your brain, like, can't access those feelings of everything you went through. It's like PTSD.

and I sat there and all of a sudden I looked at Cleo and I was like I'm going to cry like so I'm feeling like very overwhelmed and I'm like going to cry and I did I like started crying to like pull myself together because it was just so weird to like go back into that moment because you really black it out like you forget everything and you try to just move past it because it was such a weird time yeah and I just started freaking out there but people just never understand until you go through stuff like that like obviously you like get it because you've been in the show and you know how it works and stuff but it's so weird because it's so weird because because it seems like the best thing in the world. Like, I used to think, like, imagine I was The Bachelorette one day. Like, that'd be crazy. Yeah. And then you do it and you're like, well, I could not do that again. Yeah. So I could, I understand how Ben couldn't do it again.

But all these guys, you know, they're campaigning so hard to be The Bachelor. But really, Colton's going to come out of that and be like, shit. Like, did you get the impression that I think that if you campaign to be it is your first mistake. Yes. Right? Well, I think that's why Jason didn't get it. I think Jason campaigned too hard Yeah

I really do I think if he would have just laid low And let people like love on him And not like like his captions And I don't mean to bash him either Because he seems awesome I was rooting for him to be the bachelor Oh really?

Yeah I wanted him to be I think he's like very well spoken I think he's like good with emotions And I think he's smart And I think he's got a lot going for himself So I was like he'd be a good bachelor And he's funny He just reminds me of like

He kind of reminds me of a Canadian guy But all of his captions I'm like oh my God We get it. that, like, he would feed off of what people, people loved that he said, like, you'll always be rooting for your happiness. Then, like, three captions. He'd be like, I will always root for her happiness. And we're like, yes, people did love when you said that.

Like, you know, I just felt like he was really, but, I mean, it's, it's a weird. Yeah, I mean, there's no playbook for it. Yeah. But I remember watching it being like, there's a little, there's a little something to be said for being self-deprecating. Like, you don't, there's no real reason why you should be this guy. Yeah. And there's also, like, a little something to be said for being a little humble, you know, being like, this is really nice. You guys think that?

But, like, I don't know, you know, because that's endearing, right? That's what people want is, like, the vulnerability. Right. And if you come out being like, yeah, I'm ready for this, people are like, oh, wait, wait, what? Yeah, it's confusing. Didn't you just get dumped? Yeah, aren't you heartbroken? Yeah.

Like, the timing doesn't match up for that, too. But, I mean, they've been out of it for a while. So, guys, the holiday shopping season is right around the corner. We all know that men are notoriously hard to shop for. I usually get my dad like the same cologne. I got him since I was a kid. Don't even know if he wears that cologne anymore, whatever. You have to check out Brush Hero.

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Make sure to hang around at the end of this podcast for the latest breaking headlines on the AP News Minute. Do you want to be a social media star? Do you want to get verified? Do you want to make content and make money doing it? Well, I can help you get started. My name is Meredith Rojas, and I'm the co-founder and CEO of Digitore. We're the largest producers of live events featuring social media stars. And I also wrote a book called Selfie Made.

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Your response is, I'm like, you used to be so funny. And now you're just like short and cold with me. And I'm like, I was like, you really, but this is how it. And you're like, um, okay. Well, I didn't, I needed you to be like, okay, so this is an example. Because I was like, well, then say that. You're like, um, okay. I'm like, oh.

I'm sorry. Sorry. I'm still reeling from like, does she remember voice messaging me last night at two in the morning? No. No, I do not. Um, okay. So I had Annalise on the podcast and I was like, yeah, we're going to play two lies and a truth. And she was like, because I had set her up for it.

And she's like, I think the game's two truths and a lie. And I was like. Oh, it is? Yeah. And I was like, oh. It's like your bit? No, it's a thing. Oh, it's like a game.

Two truths and a lie is a thing. But I didn't, I was like, yeah, two lies and a truth. And I'm like, that doesn't sound right. But that's now what we're going with. I like it this way. I like it that way too. It's better because, yeah. So I'm going to tell you.

No, I forget my own game. I'm like, I'm going to tell you two lies in a truth. Okay. And you have to guess which one is true? Is the truth. Okay. And if you lose, that I got nothing. Nothing.

You just lose, okay. But here's the thing you're going to, I've, you're going to, I've, you You asked me to do this. Yeah. You're going to know my answer. Oh. Just because you know me well enough. Oh.

Let me hear yours and then I'll figure out. Okay. So, um, one time I wrapped in front of Ice Cube. Uh, one time I smoked weed with Snoop Dogg. And one time I made out with a little bow wow. Oh, wow. It's a rap theme. Yeah, I went with a theme.

Uh, what was the first one? I wrapped in front of Ice Cube. That's the one that seems the most realistic to me. Okay. So that's one you're going with? Yeah, I smoked weed with Snoop. Did you? Yeah.

No way. Underage, too, at an underage club. Wow. Yeah. I had a diamond engraved in my tooth. No, you didn't. Yeah. It was like the cool thing to do in La Duke, Alberta.

Oh, my God. Yeah, and it was like a little rhinestone. Yeah. And he called it my bling, bling, and then we smoked weed together. Was it cool? it was in the time where he was claiming he didn't smoke weed anymore so yeah when he was snoop lion no no no no no I don't think so but we like I have a photo of it somewhere I have to make my mom find it but I took a picture of us with a disposable camera like

oh yeah yeah yeah yeah do you think he would remember you if he if he walked in no no first of all I was 17 so that was 16 years ago math is not my strong thing um 16 years ago he was probably out of his mind like so high and like something yeah his DJ I was in the front row at an underage I was like obviously I love rap and I was like front row like yeah and his DJ was like you're coming backstage after yeah at an underage club how gross I mean they didn't hit on me I will give them that there was no like we just smoked weed and then I was like I'm high I got to go yeah but I assume that if you had stuck around right you know but i you know what 17 year old katelyn killing the game high high 17 year old kately was very smart yeah yeah i just i did it for the story and i got out yeah yeah yeah god i can't smoke weed anymore oh i smoked something from myly cyrus's fourth of july party oh yeah don't do that no i remember yeah don't do that i was at that party with you i know it just yeah there was They had those little packets of joints everywhere.

Everywhere. And I took two of them. Yeah, I took three. Not because I wanted them. I was like, my friends would love this. No, they won't. It'll paralyze the shit out of you, and it's scary, and I didn't know what was happening to me. My favorite thing about that night or that day at Miley's party was they had like this big inflatable slide.

Yeah. And you really wanted to capture some content, girl. Yeah, and I didn't. And you were amazed that when your phone got wet from the slide, it would stop working. Well, first of all, that slide was aggressive. That was a very steep slide. And you ended up in this pool of water. But the new iPhones were like, waterproof.

And I was like, cool, it's going to be fine. And then my phone stopped working. And I didn't get any of the content, which would have been really funny. I know. It was a one party. Lesson learned. Don't smoke Miley's weed. Yeah.

There's some melts in there. I'm telling you. That was a scary time. We had her dad, Billy Ray, on the show. Yeah. Oh, do you need, Billy Ray? Like, we know her dad is. B.R.

We had her dad, Billy Ray Cyrus. Billy Ray Cyrus? Yeah. You might know him from his hits as, um, achy, breaky heart. Any, anything else? Um, the other one is some gave all. What? That's a good one.

Really? Yeah, it's like, anyways, he, like, the family get down with the jazz cabbage, all right? They get into it. Damn it. The devil's lettuce. Yes, exactly. The jazz. I love the Cyrus family.

My favorite, though, have you gotten to spend a good amount of time with Tish? No. And I want to because I feel like we're a bit of like spirit animals. Yes. Yeah. She is. I can't believe I just said that out a lot. I hate that term.

I actually do too. But I understand where you're coming from. Yeah. She is because she's kind of like you, which is like. Weird? Weird, but like smoking hot, but like doesn't really like. Flant it? Yeah, I was just to say try, but, you know, like.

I mean, try. I don't really know. But, like, it's like one of the funnier conversations you'll ever have. Like, she is, I love that woman. Yeah, she seems amazing because every time she's on Brandy's stories, I'm like, I like her. Oh, yeah. I'm into, tell me your two lies and a truth. Okay.

Well, now I want to change one of them. Well, now I'm curious to see how, now I'm like, what if I don't know you? And I, like, can't figure it out. Okay. I told you to write them down. I know. but like then I heard yours and I liked yours better oh because I had a theme yeah you had a theme but I didn't know that you were doing that um do you want me tell you my other one and then

you can go yeah okay give me your other one okay I almost died from blood poisoning yeah I crashed into a parked car and never told anyone okay um I ate a spider because I lost a bet so you no theme there if you did the third one then I don't know if I can talk to you anymore I think the obvious one would be like Caitlin totally would hit a car and like not tell but I think that's misdirection yeah so I think it is the first one what was the first one I almost died from blood poisoning yes yeah because that's too random to like throw in that yeah yeah that's true yeah really yeah I'm glad you're alive I did it rollerblading really yeah I was at the Calgary stampede I was at my grandparents house and I was like I'm going to go for a quick rollerblade

before I go the stampede and I don't know how old I was probably like 10 and I fell so badly and I cut open my knee like real bad and then I didn't clean the cut or anything

I just rallied and I went and I was walking around the stampede with my family the whole day and at the end of the day I was like really sick and I was like

I can't walk on this leg and my mom was kind of like suck it up you're fine it's like a scrape and then we got home and I went to have a little bath

and I got in the bathtub and I went mom no wonder I don't have my leg hurts so bad. I've got a purple line going up from my leg, like, into my stomach. And she was like, get in the car, we're going to the hospital. Yeah.

And I have blood poisoning. And if that line gets to your heart, you die. Happened to me. Same thing. Really? Yeah, I was, I'm not doing this anymore. I was lifting weights. And you know, back in my lifting weight days.

Yeah. You know, you know the, like, when you put the weights to your side and you lift them up like this or whatever? Yeah. I was doing that, and then I let them go. And my pinky got cut between the two and broke my pinky. And then I had exact same thing A line that went all the way up

And then once it got, it was on this hand And once it got here They were like, dude You're gonna die This is not good This is how you go And they straight up were like We might have to cut your finger off

And I was like, don't you dare And this is why you don't lift weights anymore Exactly, all right It's for my health Yeah All right You're just being like precautious Smart guy

Is that the word? Precautious, yeah Yeah, yeah No, that's fair Yeah I wouldn't lift weights if I were you either All right, what am I Yeah, come here

Okay Number one Okay I used to tell everyone that I was on your season of The Bachelorette. Okay. Number two, I'm engaged. Okay.

Well, imagine you drop that on the pod. Yeah. Ratings. Ratings. RebShare for Wells. Number three. Well, now I know the first one's true because that second one isn't, and you're thinking way too hard about a third one, which means you're trying to think of a lie.

Yeah. I used to tell everyone that I was on Caitlin's podcast. It's because. No, season. Season, yes. And I was on her podcast. I used to tell everyone that I was on Caitlin's season because there was. was a time in which all the guys from my season were just so just douching out hard.

Yeah. And I was just embarrassed that I was eighth place. Yeah. I do agree. That was a very douche canoey season. I just, I mean, everyone's kind of like leveled out a little bit where I'm like, okay, it's fine. But like, there was so many like shirtless picks.

And I was like, really? It's what we're doing? Yeah, but I feel like that's a thing now. Like, Blake and Jason, great guys. Always shirtless in Vegas, taking pictures. with you know like it's it's a thing i guess and if you have those abs like totally like they're clearly working for it to be able to have these shirtless photos yeah i mean yeah you know what you know what i really like following these days what comments by celebs have you are you follow that on

instagram no so i'm into it uh i think you like so it's basically like famous celebrity photos on instagram and then it's like another famous person like comments like some shitty remark and like that's the thing oh yeah that's funny i like that and like that's basically i feel like that's my sweet spot oh like because every commenting yeah yeah if i if i see like one pick of jason with a shirt on yeah then i got to be like is everything okay yeah what's going is this is this your way of saying like you're a little soft today or just like you're in danger yeah and you know you're you're in a basement somewhere you need help yeah and like you're like well i got to post something to the right kidnappers and they're like hey listen post right

So no one knows you're gone, but you post a shirt picture. And everyone's like, oh. Right. Anyways. Do you watch, like, a lot of crime shows or? Dude. Criminal minds. I get into, like, the murder podcasts.

Oh, you're one of those. I'm one of those guys. People love the murder podcasts. You know what you got to listen to? What? Not to, like, pump other pods, but Dirty John, have you heard of that thing? No. Dude, man.

Really? It's good. It's like. I don't listen to podcasts. I'm the same way I'm on all these people's podcasts I'm like I don't know Do you listen to your own podcast?

I do but I'm just Just to critique and learn Yeah and it's more of like Did I screw up like Because I mix and edit my podcast So I'm like did I do the levels wrong Right Or whatever like it's more of like

But like I won't listen to this Yeah no I won't either I actually don't I don't listen to my own podcast after Because then I get like I'm like Oh I should have done this oh I should have said this and I get like annoyed because I just

I love the sound of my own voice I really do but there's certain things that I do where I'm like oh I just am too hard

of myself and I'm like well what's the point oh that was my only those were my last of my two lies and a truth do you have another one for me

or no well I so let's see one I was first team deep south rugby player

player in college Okay. All SEC. Okay. Smoked weed with, what's his freaking name? Kid Rock. Okay. Oh, wow.

That's specific. Uh-huh. Okay. And number three was, God, what was it? They asked me to be The Bachelor. But they did ask you to be The Bachelor. I don't know. What of the three?

Wait, so I'm trying to figure out the truth. Yeah. But you told me more than one truth. How do you know? Because I could tell. You smoked weed with Kid Rock behind Santa's. No, I didn't. Oh, you didn't?

All my friends did. And they came back and they were like, we just smoke. His real name's Bob. Yeah, I know. It was amazing. And they were just smoked weed with Bob. And I was like, who the fuck is Bob? And then Kid Rock.

And I was like, no. I know. Missed out. He's actually kind of a dick. I interviewed him at the Top Golf thing. and he was like, it was, I mean, I've talked about this on the podcast before, but I was like, I was like, oh, yeah, you like, you want to do a shot of whiskey? I heard you're a big whiskey guy and he was like, you don't shoot whiskey, you sip it. And I was like, oh, really?

And I'm like, kid rock. Yeah, trying to be classy, like you sip whiskey. Yeah. That's getting into the meth conversation. Yeah, yeah. Oh, you sip whiskey, but you do meth. So, like, that's a gray area. Hey, guys, it's that time again for some useful car tips by Caitlin Bristow.

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with true car certified dealers. So when you're ready to buy a new or use car, check out true car and enjoy a more confident car buying experience. Some features are not available in all states. They did ask you to be The Bachelor. No, not really. Oh, you were. It was like a gray area. You were in conversations. Yeah. They thought about giving you, did you get a contract? No. So that's where I think like when someone really asked you if they gave you a contract. Like I did get hit up to be like, hey, you're in the, we're thinking about it. And I was like, okay, cool. Yeah, we're considering. But it was, you would have been a great bachelor. Yeah, but like, I was talking to a lot about it. And he was like, the reason, your problem is that when you get

hurt, you get mad, you don't get sad. And we need you to be. Yeah. When I got dumped. A lot of guys are like that, though. Yeah. Well, and I would, here's what happened to me, like, on the Bachelorette, is that, like, I divulged a lot of stuff. Like, at the end, they were, like, you really got to do this, you know? Like, and so I divulged so much of me. And then I got dumped, and I was like, why did I do that? Like, no one, she didn't deserve to learn that about me because she didn't care, you know.

But America wanted to learn that about you. In the moment, I was like, fuck this. Yeah, yeah, totally. Yeah. Like, that's not, they wanted me to be like, I'm never going to be good enough, you know? But I was like, why did I do that? Yeah. What the hell?

Yeah. You know? You just, like, got. You, like, took it back, where you'd be too cautious of it as the bachelor about what you were doing because you'd be like, well, I'm not going to do that because it'll piss me off. And then when I was on Paradise with Ashley. Yeah. And, uh...

Yeah, I always forget that was a thing. Well, because it was like, you've got to decide if you're going to go to the fantasy suite or not. And I was like, I'm not taking the virgin to the fantasy suite. No way. No. And they're like, well, then you got to, you know, you got to break up with it. You know? And I was like, no.

Why are those my two options? I know, I was like, I have like three days. No. This is ridiculous And they're like It's gonna be so weird if like You don't say it So I was like

So that's my conversation with her Which was very honest Which was like Hey listen I don't know what's gonna happen But like let's just get the hell out of here Right you know Yeah

But I remember afterwards I was like Why were those my options? Yeah those You only had two Yeah And they were tricky That's so funny

Yeah I always forget about that But that's Yeah You can't take the virgin To the fantasy suite No You can't

Not You cannot It's better to Humiliate her and break up with her when she didn't see it coming, then take her to the fantasy suite. I'm just going to ask you a couple questions from listeners. Okay.

But by the way, I did play rugby in college. Oh, that was it. Yeah. Yeah, that's good. I was like, lie. But that's cool. Yeah, no one knows that about it. Everyone thinks I'm skinny and I'm unathletic, but no, I was very good.

Hey, just because you're skinny doesn't mean you're not athletic. I mean, I am definitely not athletic. You are skinny. And I am skating. So I kind of get the. Yeah, you get like half of it. I understand. But, oh, that's cool, though.

Yeah. Oh, big rugby guy. Yeah, big rugby guy over here. Can you still play rugby? So, like riding a bike? The reason why I stopped playing rugby is I broke against Alabama. I broke my leg. Oh, shit.

Oh, shit. I had, like, four surgeries over there. Really? Yeah, it was really bad. I have so much metal in my leg. Oh, that's aggressive. And, like, if I fly, it's a big thing. Like, it cramps up, it hurts? No, like the metal detector go crazy.

Oh, what? Really? Yeah, it's a whole thing. I always worried about that. with my nip piercing, like, going through the metal detector. I'm like, is this going to go off? Like, you know, in the old school, and they used to, like, beep you around. I was like, yeah, da, da, da, da, da.

I didn't know. I was wearing so much padding on my bras anyway, so. It's kind of like a purve. Totally, it's like, do, do, do, do, do it's like, really around the, oh, and the really, yeah. Oh, and then the guy's like, I guess I have to pat you down. Oh, no. Whoops.

That's like a glitch every time. Weird. Okay. Melissa Lundy wants to know. best drunk conversation while bartending that we didn't see on Bachelor in Paradise. Was there like a funny, like, drunk conversation that we didn't see that you're, like, witnessing? Did you get to drink? Yeah, I got similar to, like, the contestants, two drinks an hour thing.

That's great. The thing that people didn't see was Leo was, like, much more of a dick. More of a dick? Much more of a dick. Like, they cut a lot of stuff out. Gosh, people do not like him. Well, yeah, but he got drunk. I wouldn't say drunk.

He was just, like, feeling it and thought it was, like, funny to, like, kind of, like, keep pushing the envelope. We were all like, okay, great. Jenna was funny. Jenna would get drunk and, like, do weird stuff, like, roll around the sand and, like, come, like, and, like, has a sand monster to the bar. And I'm, like, sweetie, like, go wash your hair. It's bad. That's funny. She seems like such a character.

Not going to lie. I really loved her energy. I'm so hurt over this whole thing Because I really really I know I really wanted her to be like a big thing Like a big like like Person in the Bachelor world now Totally

Very very disappointing Um Okay Are you still going to do drunk Bachelor weekend? I don't know maybe Yeah You're like we're growing up here

Yeah I'm in a relationship now And for the record I will say I'm happy you weren't the bachelor Because then you might not have met Sarah And I feel like you two are meant to be together Oh yeah Like that Garth Brooks song

like um which one i love garth right it's the um some of god's greatest gifts unanswered prayers oh wow that's very good garth yeah that's good right yeah you almost took the shape of garth for a second there um why be like you're not a natalie wadups wadups that's a cool name will you be will you do a cameo on modern family no okay that was a hard no wow yeah I think we get that a lot, and I think that people need to understand, like, the actual, like, business side of things. That's what I was, when I read it, I was like, I don't think you can just make a cameo because you're her boyfriend. Yeah, and, like, albeit, yes, they're both on ABC. Both those shows are on ABC, but, like, it's two different production companies.

Right. You know, but, like, do not work together. Right. And so, like, me showing up there is, or a lot of people want her to be in paradise. Right. By the way, Fleiss didn't have enough money to get her ass behind that bar. Absolutely not. Yeah, no, absolutely not.

She's like, you can't afford me. Of course not. No, no. And that would be like, it's, that's too real. I mean, when Brad Pitt went on friends and was like an enemy for Jennifer Anison, that was hilarious. But it's too, like, that's like too much of like she's a character and it would be bringing something real into like a character. Like, you know what I mean? Yeah.

Am I making sense? No. You're making sense. I totally get like I wanted, because people don't know what's going to happen as. as the as modern ends yeah and i was like i think it would be really funny if haley goes on oh like the bachelor or something and like her last scene is like her getting out of the limo and it's me yeah you know yeah but like that would that'll never but that's good that'll be really funny yeah um this one i'm actually very curious about as well katie chance wants to know

what's your stance on mayo chup oh that's ketchup of mayo yeah i love it but i i just feel like Like, I don't need, I don't need Heinz to do it for me. I can make it myself. But I thought you don't like working for your lobster. You don't like making your own Bloody Mary's. So maybe I thought mayo chup was like right up your alley. Yeah, I mean, I don't hate it. You know what I like to do?

It's a great ratio, by the way. I've never tried it. It's great. But you Canadians like those, like, tomato chips. Mm, ketchup chips. Ketchup chips. My favorite chip of all time. And they're terrible.

I don't understand. What's wrong with you? I have taste buds. Do you like ketchup? Yeah, but I- Do you like chips? Yes. Okay.

I tell you what I do like, though. Okay. Mayo and saracha mixed together. So good. Oh, duh, little aoli. Yeah. Yeah, so good. Mitch Gonzalez wants to know.

This is how I'm ending it because it's probably your least favorite question. Okay. When are you going to propose? Ah. Is that your least favorite question to be asked? Well, it's like when people ask me, when's the wedding.

I feel like that's to you. Like, you know, and then when you do get engaged less, one's the wedding all the time, but I would like to know, and so would Gonzales. Well, to be more timely about things in the wake of Pete and Ariana breaking up. I know. I mean, not surprised. I'm not really surprised either. We were talking about this, like, on my show where, like, Pete is a recovering, like, addict, right?

And the thing that addicts do a lot is they replace the thing that they're, like, addicted to with, like, another thing. That's why, like, they smoke cigarettes, like. I did a lot of coffee or whatever. And I think that happens in relationships as well. And I feel like that's what happened where it was just like, okay, I'm now addicted to you. Yeah. Which is beautiful and wonderful. But I think we all kind of saw that maybe wasn't like the best way to like go about.

Right. You know, wasn't. That usually never works out for people. Yeah, it just wasn't healthy. Right. I don't know what's going to happen. But from what I understand, they're not breaking up. They're just like not getting a little step back.

Which I think is like the smart. Yeah, that's fair. They totally like rational. Like they haven't done anything. rational yet. Yeah, right. This is the most rational. The most rational thing.

Right. So that is a long diatribe, prelude to eventually her and I are going to get married. Yeah, you're taking all the right steps. Yeah, but like I think that what people don't realize is that just us like being boyfriend, girlfriend, girlfriend living together is like really nice right now. Yeah, and just because you're on the bachelor doesn't mean you need to rush every relationship that you're in and get engaged because you were on that show. Yeah.

Like, we didn't live in the same city for a long time. Yeah. So, like, I at least need, like, some, a good amount of time to, like, just see how it is to live with one person. Yeah, of course. That's the normal thing to do. Yeah. So eventually it'll happen. Eventually it happens.

And when it does, we'll know about it. You will. Yeah. I'll come on this podcast. There's this thing called social media. Yeah. Uh-huh. We will know about it.

Get Neil Lane to hook you up with the ring. No, I'm not allowed to do. What? Yeah. What do you mean? because Sarah is a Lorraine Schwartz girl. Oh. Like she has like something that like always does her jewelry.

Oh, okay. That makes sense. So. I mean, either way you're going to get hooked up. Do you have a joke for me? No. Really?

You can't think of one joke off the top of your head? No, I'm not like, I'm not that joke guy. Okay, I love jokes. I used to have a whole joke book. And every time I heard it go on, I'd write it down. I love jokes. I don't care if they're bad or whatever. But I tell a joke at the end of,

every podcast now and I've run out of material. Oh, so do you want me to do it? Yeah, so now I rely, it's like, make your own bloody merry. I'm like, I'm lazy and I just try and get my guest to do the joke for me. I'm not getting paid enough for this. Oh, my gosh, wait, this is funny. The guy who stole my diary has died. My thoughts are with his family.

That's funny. I like that. One of my favorite dad jokes is when you, like, let's pretend like you and I are driving past a cemetery. And I turned to you and I say, how many people do you think are dead in that cemetery? And then you would say, I don't know, whatever you would say. I'd say 100. Yeah, and I'd be like, well, all of them.

Oh, dark. Yeah. Okay. Thanks for coming on the podcast. I believe that's a Sarah joke, actually. Yeah, I'm like, let's push that on somebody else. That was like when I did a stand-up comedy, that's total humble break,

when I did stand-up comedy with Amy Schumer on my season, she goes, if you say anything when you get up there, because I had to do a bit on, and I was like, this is my dream. And she goes, if at any point people don't laugh at your joke, just tell them that Amy told you to say it. So she was in the crowd,

and I'm like, I actually like made fun of Brit for like losing being the Bachelorette, which was just supposed to be like shock value humor. And people are like, ooh. And I was like, oh, whatever, Amy told me to say it. The crowd went nuts. The crowd went nuts. So you're like, that was a bad joke.

You're like, I think it was Sarah's a totally Sarah's joke. Yeah, that's all her. Anyways, thank you for coming on the podcast. Yeah, it's great to be here. So much fun. I drink all the wine tonight. You did. And you know what?

I think my drunkness just kind of continued in because I had one very full. Like that was basically three champains in one. Yeah. I feel it. Do you? Yeah. What are you doing now? Do you go, you flying back to Nashville?

Tomorrow. Tomorrow? Mm-hmm. You going out tonight? We were thinking about. Why don't you go to Dancing with the Stars? That. Oh, yeah, you're still bitter.

You want to do it. You want to do the dancing. I all of a sudden just get up on stage and like streak. Can I let loose a little bit on Dancing with Stars? I would love if you did. Listen, I just think it's lame. And here's why. That's the equivalent of me watching a television show of people doing karaoke.

It's people who are not good at the thing that they're being asked to do. and you expect me to be like, wow, look how mediocre they are at this. Yeah, why is it such a thing? I don't know, but every time I watch it, I'm just like, well, one person's good, the other person sucks, and the other person is, well, I'm supposed to be watching for? I'm over it. Yeah, I've never actually watched the show. But you want to be on it so badly?

No, I don't anymore. I used to want to be on it so badly. I'm over it. No, I really am. Like, now I'm like, I'm kind of like I've actually got way too many other things going on that are so great that I actually am like, I don't really have time. I mean, I'm rooting for Grocer Joe. Always. I'll always root for grocery store joe no matter what he does.

Yeah. Because he's grocery store jo. It's great. I'm Caitlin Bristol. I'll see you next Tuesday. Thanks for listening to Off the Vine with Caitlin Briscoe. Get new episodes every Tuesday exclusively on Podcast1.com, the Podcast One app, and subscribe on Apple Podcasts. Who's not with OTV?

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