Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Whitney Leavitt | The Secret Life of This Mormon Wife: Her Upbringing, Reality TV Villain Role, and MomTok Drama

Episode Date: October 3, 2024

#777. On this episode of Off the Vine, Kaitlyn sits down with Whitney Leavitt to discuss her upbringing in the Mormon community, the challenges of being labeled the “villain” on The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, and the dynamics between the cast members. She also dives deep into personal struggles, including dealing with rumors about her husband, Conner, his Tinder past, and their journey to reconciliation. Plus, Whitney reveals her aspirations to break into acting, her current pregnancy, the real dynamics behind the scenes of the show, and a personal confession you won't want to miss! Tune in for an honest conversation filled with vulnerability, humor, and behind-the-scenes context. If you’re LOVING this podcast, please follow and leave a rating and review below! PLUS, FOLLOW OUR PODCAST INSTAGRAM HERE! Thank you to our Sponsors! Check out these deals! Brooks Running Shoe: This episode is brought to you by Brooks Running Shoe! Visit brooksrunning.com to learn more! Alo: Visit ALOMOVES.com and use code VINE for an exclusive 30-day free trial, plus enjoy 20% off an annual membership. Range Rover: Explore the Range Rover Evoque at LandRoverUSA.com EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS (4:45) – Whitney addresses her portrayal as the “villain” on The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Okay, listen up if you love a good slow burn romance, and let's be real, who doesn't? You need to check out the new Audible Original of Pride and Prejudice. It's an intimate performance that literally makes you feel like you're right there swooning with Lizzie Bennett and Mr. Darcy. Marisa Abella as Elizabeth and Harris Dickinson as Darcy, I'm obsessed. So whether it is your first time with Jane Austen or your 50th, this version is such a fresh, fun listen. Go to audible.ca slash Jane Austen to dive in. I'm Caitlin Bristow.

Your session is now starting. Hey, everybody, welcome to Off the Vine. I'm your host, Caitlin Bristow. Today on the podcast, we have the villain of The Secret Life. of Mormon wives who I don't think she's actually a villain I know how editing works but you can you can find out for yourself when you listen to this podcast are you doing like a press tour right now like are you guys all just like this is my last one because I can't try I honestly I shouldn't be traveling right I was doing four weeks I know I was like wow thank you for coming because you

you're not supposed to fly after your 36 weeks I was 36 weeks a couple days ago so and are you flying back today or tomorrow tomorrow morning tomorrow morning yeah why did they say that just because in case you go into labor Yeah, I think it's like that's typically the time where it's like, you start going to the OB more and they start seeing like, are you dilated? Like, how's the baby and blah, blah, blah, blah. Like, are you about to get your dilated? Yeah, let's check right now. Let's make sure. Just to be, yeah. If you don't mind, just get the angle so I can check. Yeah, click on the airline. Like, free time, it's like free plates for that. No, then why wouldn't you want to? Although that would be really scary.

Wait, that would actually terrify me. What airline are you on? We're on American. Yeah, we're flying American. Wait, you should. Give me those dates. I'll just chug them. You should also just like, I wonder if this has ever happened.

You should just fly all around that time, but like also fly a nurse with you. Like a delivery nurse? A midwife? Yeah, and then like find a loophole to get free flights for the rest of your life. Oh my gosh. And then like and then have like a crazy good story about you online. I love. Yeah, finally.

I replace all the other ones, yeah. Okay, are we good to get started? Okay, we'll dive into everything. Now, this is going to be an interesting interview because I've never watched the show. Oh, you haven't seen it yet. No. Oh. So I'm very excited to watch it, but I also love hearing people's perspective in their own voice and not from, because I know how TV works too.

Yeah. So I have just like obviously did my research and did a prep doc for it and everything. So I see what's going on and I heard about what's going on. But I put it on the other night, and there's a classic Nashville storm. And I was like 10 minutes into it. I was like, holy shit, this is so good. And then the power went out. And I was like, oh, okay, never mind.

And then I just didn't have the chance to watch it. But I'm so, first of all, I have so many questions, which I'm sure you've answered these same questions over and over. And I'm like, I want to be respectful. Yeah. But I have questions. And I'm like, what? Is there anything that you're like, don't ask me.

No, no, you're fine. And if there is, then I'll probably just go, Like, why'd you ask them? I'm just kidding. Yeah. You can just call me out. I'll leave. Yeah.

Just walk out of here. And yeah, I have so many questions. Okay. So you were, were you born in the Mormon community? Yes. Okay. Born and raised in the Mormon church. Like in the heart of it.

And is all of it true? Like you can't have alcohol, caffeine. And so you grew up like. So not caffeine. I think that gets, that's a misconception because we, we do drink caffeine a lot of it. Yeah. We have like all those soda shops and you. but not coffee and caffeinated teas now may I ask the reasons that I just got which is a caffeinated tea

may I ask why like what they're yeah so there's this thing in the Mormon church it's called the word of wisdom okay and in that pamphlet it like gives guidelines of things to abstain from and I mean at the end of the day like you have a choice whether or not you want to follow those things but it does say like no smoking no alcohol like don't go get any tattoos or multiple piercing or or um i'm trying to think of all the things did i already say coffee yeah like coffee tea that's pretty much it i think i said or like um recreational drugs okay and so what happens if you go against that like is it like like do you guys believe in going to hell yeah no we do believe going to hell but i mean at the end of the day it's up to you like you have free agency you would have the

opportunity to go to a bishop is what they're called okay and you would go through like a repentance process, depending on how bad it really was or how far you took whatever it is that you had done. And do you still, like, as the Mormon wives on the show, are you still practicing Mormonism? Is that what it's called? Mormonism? Yeah, no, yeah, yeah. Not all of us. Okay.

Which I actually think is kind of nice to see, like, you get to see, like, people who may consider themselves still Mormon but may not live it as devoutly or someone who's, like, very devout or somebody who was Mormon and decides not to be anymore. You get to see that throughout the whole cast. Right. Yeah. And did you go on and agree to the show knowing, like, I'm probably going to come out as the villain? No. Wow. No. Has it been so hard for you? No, it's, yeah, nobody wants to be the bad guy.

I know. Well, some people do. Really? I don't know. I've seen like two seconds of real housewives. Yeah. And I'm like, I think, I think they like being a villain. But I never know because some people might be okay with it. Yeah. No, I don't want to. I never wanted to be the bad guy. So, okay, we'll get into all of that. So I just have a few questions about Mormon, just because I've met in like the last two months, a few people that are still, they're Mormons. And they live in Salt Lake City and they were very offended about the soaking question. Oh, the, they were like, that's not a thing. And so then I felt stupid because I was like, oh, I thought that actually was and that was like how you guys found a loophole. I'm all for loopholes.

So I thought it was great. But there's probably so many misconceptions. Yes. Is that one of the craziest? No, that's totally a thing. It is, right? Yeah, no, it's totally a thing. I'm texting him later.

I never participated in that. But it is definitely a thing. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like when you're raised in a way where you're teaching children and people like, you cannot do this or you will be punished. Yeah.

They want to rebel. Absolutely. Or they're curious. Or they're curious. Why? Yeah. So I feel like that makes sense that you would find a way to do. things in that community

that go hey you know what I would like to absolutely and I think that's like I wasn't involved in the swinger scandal but I think that's also what another thing was happening the swinger scandal was like well our spouses are agreeing to it right loophole and you guys didn't know that she was going to come out and say all

of that about the swingers so that was supposed to stay private um well again I wasn't involved so when I had seen it I was just like whoa like this is so crazy like but I'm sure that people who were involved maybe didn't appreciate that That was, like, completely blasted on the air. Do you guys all get along?

Like the whole cast? Yeah. No. Oh. It's my showing that I haven't watched. No. Okay. No.

So who are you close with? I'm the closest. Well, before this show, I was closest with Macy and Caleb, but now I'm the closest with Macy and Taylor. Okay. Yeah. And how hard is it for your husband to sit out there and work right now while we have to talk about this?

Yeah. Actually, I just saw him. I think he just left. Oh. He was like, you know what? I can't do it. It's like, I've heard this way too many times. How is he dealing with everything?

He's great. he's actually not seen the show amazing he's not gonna see it his family is not yes okay yeah very much um yeah i his whole family hasn't seen it the only person on my side of the family that saw it was my mom because i watched it with her and how did she feel my mom like i mean she was with me during it so she was just like oh like for some parts and yeah sometimes we'd pause it and like we'd chat about it or whatnot and i'd be like angry or we'd laugh or it was a whole emotional roller coaster i bet we were watching that But no, he's been great. Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, you need somebody that's a rock and hard times. Yeah. That's nice. Because if anyone's, like, that could, like, that could be something that tears somebody apart or makes you stronger. Yeah. That's, I feel like there's so many. And that's what they see in reality TV, like, there's a curse, like that marriage curse.

Yeah. That they'll get divorced. I'm like, I don't go give that to somebody else. Yeah. It's not everybody. Yeah. Look at the Bachelor franchise. It's like, that's true.

There's still. Tristan and Ryan, the first bachelor at married happily two children. My gosh, I forgot. about them yeah they're amazing yeah but I feel like there's so many there's so many challenges around certain religions like what was the hardest was the most challenging thing for you growing up in that community I think just like thinking that everyone was Mormon like I genuinely thought everybody like I remember growing up everyone in my junior high everyone in my high school was Mormon like I never

didn't have a friend that wasn't more right so of course it's all and then once I left that was just like oh like there's actually people who like live differently right and I was completely unaware of that and when you found out did you want to see what that other life was like oh not that I wanted to partake in it but I did have like a lot of questions yeah I was very curious and like why you would do certain things or make certain decisions and right oh like how does that make you feel and blah blah blah but and I'm grateful for that because it would have sucked if I was still in that bubble I think do you think Mormons get a bad rep I think we do yeah I think that is I don't know I think that there's well I think there's so many misconceptions yes and it's like and I And I know the Mormon community, when the trailer came out for the show, had a really hard time with it. Yeah. Because the show makes it seem like we're all swingers. But that's not the case. Taylor was the only one involved.

And the other women that were involved aren't in the show. Oh, okay. Yeah. So I think from the trailer, it really, like, worked up to the Mormon community. Yeah. But I think once they watched the show, they were like, oh, okay. Like, it's not like we're sitting down talking about church doctrine. Right.

Like, we're just, we all have had some. sort of Mormonism in our lives. Yeah. And we're just sharing our story. Yeah, because I saw maybe the Mormon church commented or had a statement that they put out. Yeah, they did have a statement that they put out. Yeah. What were they saying that they're basically like the gist of it was like, at least my takeaway from it is like, don't read into the media as like that this is how all Mormons live. And I completely agree with that. If anything, I'm actually grateful that they put that statement out because, yeah, I didn't want people to watch it and be like, oh, so like are all Mormons like this? Right. That's not the case at all.

Like you could meet a Mormon who lives incredibly more devoutly or somebody, which you see on the show, who maybe doesn't. So the ones who don't. Yeah. And that like Taylor who was swinging and doing that kind of thing. Like is she trying to change or is that like who she is? No, I think she's trying to change. Okay. Absolutely.

Yeah. Yeah. And she's sober now. And she's sober now. Good for her. Yeah. Oh, that's amazing. Yeah.

I bet she feels incredible. Oh, yeah. My dad's 33 years sober, and I've attended, like, some AA meetings, and I know people that are sober. And, like, they all say the same thing that they didn't know they could live a life, like, full of so much joy once they've gotten to the other side. So I'm happy for her. Yeah, me too. And so good for her family, too. And now, are you still practicing?

Yes. Okay. And you raise your children that way. Yes. And you are very pregnant. Very pregnant. My water might break in this interview. You'll get free off the vine downloads for the rest of time.

For the rest of my life. If you go into labor, I will, I have my phone right here just in case. Could you imagine if you went into labor right now? Oh my gosh, no, I can't. I'd be so stressed out. Like, I'm not at my hospital. I'm not at home. When you're on the third baby, don't they come quicker than most?

I've always been late. Oh, really? I've always had to get induced. I would love to have a natural neighbor. Yeah. Because getting induced is the absolute worst. Is it? Doesn't it make you so sick to?

I know people like it because like you get a schedule it and, you know, whatnot. But you literally, you go. in you can't eat beforehand you're sitting in the bed you're laying in bed what feels like all day you can't eat anything you can't get out of bed because you already have your well if you're getting medicated you have your epidural so you can't walk right no i hate it oh you get um a catheter oh okay yeah yeah if you have to poop well that's why they tell you not to eat a certain amount of time ahead of time so you don't have to poop okay that makes sense but this last part i can see i did sneak in a snickers wire i'm not gonna lie yeah yeah dirty dog which has to do with my yeah oh my gosh

Okay, so you snuck into Snickers and what did that do? Anything? Definitely made me poop. I was giving birth. That happens, though. Honestly, I don't even care. I was like, I'm so freaking hungry. Yeah.

And like, I would take, you have all these medications being pumped into you to like try and get this baby out. And I'm like, I've got to eat something. Like, I feel sick. That's, my girlfriend got induced. And she got, she was like so sick from all the medications because she had nothing in her stomach. Yes. Yeah.

it's yeah and it's almost like I'm not yourself when you're hungry that's what snickers says that's exactly right and I can start like tasting the medicine I was just like no oh it was weird I don't remember that with my first one but my second one oh yeah I was like I'm eating a snickers how do you feel about having kids knowing that your life is so public in this way I feel like especially if you look at my social media like I don't involve my kids as much in my social media and when you watch the show I know you haven't seen it yet like they're there yeah like they're never the focal point they're just there and they'll always be there like because they're my kids and I don't have like a living nanny or and I don't want that like I want I want to be the nanny. Oh, I will definitely be getting a nanny. If I ever have kids, I'm like, help me. That's how I'll be. Okay, I want to talk about mom talk. Let's do it. Because I did a TikTok or an Instagram story or something when I was in the South of France not too long ago and people were like, what is this a mom talk? And I was like, what is mom talk? I thought they were like calling me old or something. And so then I got down a rabbit hole of mom talk. How did you first get involved in mom talk? Okay. So, I mean, I know in the cast, it looks like that's all that mom talk is, but mom talk was so much bigger than that. Like, there was like 25 women.

Really? Like, it was so big and it was so fun. Like, we'd all get together. We'd have these gatherings at somebody's house. We'd eat junk food. We'd make funny TikToks. We'd twerk together. Like, it was just a party.

Yeah. I loved it. So, yeah, it was significantly bigger than that. And like, moms would just like, you know, reach out and be like, hey, I want to come to the next one of course we'd be like yes absolutely come on you know come on down and then it kind of like obviously narrowed down for the show okay yeah and that's how the swinging started was because of the mom talk well when taylor goes on the when she goes on and explains like the story of the whole swinger scandal like i know that she states all of mom talk yeah i don't know why it was stated that way but there was

only one other couple in mom talk that was involved in it okay and then were you a full-time content creator before the show yes okay oh yeah Very much so. So that's like what you were doing. Yes. Okay. And you love it. I love it.

Yeah. Yeah. That's, and did you feel like you were getting love and support during that time and then everything shifted after the show or were people already hard on you? Um, well, I mean, it comes and goes. Yeah. Like sometimes you'll have a video and it will be like, okay, that clearly was not the response I was thinking. So, whoops. Yeah.

And then you just like, you just move forward. Like, what's an example of a video you did there? The, my, the video with my son in the hospital. I don't know if you know about that. video okay well um my son was very sick and i made a video when i was in the hospital and people like will make jokes about it and whatnot and that was taken i actually do know about this but i didn't realize it was you that was me okay yeah okay and it was taken way out of context but that and that was like the first time i had like received a massive amount of hate i feel like i can like deal with it

better now yeah but yeah like stuff like that like you just never know how and have you addressed all of that like since i'm sure and talk about it yeah yeah yeah yeah okay so i'm like what was the context so he was or do you not want to talk about no you're fine okay he was sick he was doing better i made a video and people took it out of context okay yeah but we're past that we're past we're moving on we're on to other reasons yeah bigger and better things yeah okay so how did you hear about the show and get involved in it so taylor macy macaela and i were all reached out first yeah from the production team we were talking to a lot of different producers and then you know we all finalized on one and then created a pilot and then two years later like finalized a cast

and then made the season which we filmed this January oh is when we started filming and we filmed for like about four months why did I think it took like two years to well because it did like because the pilot they did keep parts of the pilot which was two years ago got it which people will make jokes like oh my gosh you guys change your hair so much and you look so much I'm like well yeah but like that was two years ago oh that makes sense and then this is the season so they're I don't understand TV tricks. Yeah. So I could see how that would be confusing.

Yeah. And then what was the whole process of filming like? Like when you are filming it and then watching back, is it a complete different situation than you thought it was? Because I always try and give it like, I was trying to understand these things because, like, for example, on The Bachelor, I was like, our season's going to be so boring. There's no drama. We all get along. And I watched it back. And I was like, what did I miss?

So then I'm like, did you watch back and be like, that's. fair or did you feel it was heavily edited there were definitely things that were edited but i also think like things that weren't in it that maybe were if were in it would give it would give more context yeah so why people would have made certain decisions can you give me an example because i haven't watched yeah of course well you kind of watched the first episode right like 10 like i was like hyped oh right grabbed hands in the blue jacket and then it crashed yeah and then it crashed well when you watch it did you have you seen it okay um so when you watch the first episode there's a scene where i'm like talking about a video that like made me upset yeah it makes it seem like i'm upset about

this swinger scandal video yeah but that's not the video at all got it so it's like right off the it it's like starting off that like i have like this animosity towards taylor got it yeah what was the video you were really excited there was a video that and this was again two years ago before we had even filmed the season. There was a video that she had made with Macy, like insinuating that she was, that Macy was the only one there for her, like during the whole Swinger scandal.

And then you'll see in like the first episode, Michaela and I are coming to her talking about this video. But we're talking about that because we're like, well, wait a second. Like we were there for you. We got a lot of hate for it. Yeah. But it makes it seem like we're talking about this finger scandal.

Gosh, that happened to me so many times on Bachelorette. I was like crying, talking. And I was like, I was talking about a complete different guy. Yeah. You made it seem like I was so into this guy, but I was actually crying about another guy. Yeah. That TV tricks are... It's interesting. Yeah. I mean, that's why shows do well, though. Yeah. They're creating a story. Right. Yeah. When you signed up for reality TV, what was like the most unexpected thing that you've gone through where you're like, wow, I did not expect this? I didn't know it was that much filming. Ah. Like, I had no idea. Like, every single day. Yeah, that's exhausting. And it was exhausting. And a lot of times talking. about the same thing over and over again like different topics and so it was like hard to like to watch it and be like oh I do remember that but I also talked about it here which would have made

more sense why I'd said that there you know stuff like that the time lapse how did that affect the narrative of the show oh I actually think they did a great job I mean I think when you watch the first episode again like the pilot and the season are like intertwined together so our looks are like so incredibly confusing i think even when i watched i was like wow like because i'm even like a little fatter too i was just like oh like so i just took ozempic like the next day i guess and lost all this weight um but after the first episode the rest of it is congruent okay got it are there any scenes that you regret filming i don't i don't think there's anything any scenes that i regret filming i think that like watching back it's like i'm proud of it but i'm also like not proud of it with

like how vulnerable I was about personal stuff in my life it was hard to watch and tell me why like vulnerability because I love vulnerability and I like when people are real and raw and share things and it's probably like cathartic at the time and then you're like oh maybe I like when I'm such a open book and then sometimes I like later on I'm like I shouldn't said that like I didn't need to share that in that moment but what is like what is something that you shared that you wish you didn't I guess just like in general being vulnerable like in certain scenarios. are like really expressing how I really felt but then you don't know the backstory when you watch the show as to why I'd really felt that way and why I had said that yeah because then it

just makes it sound like I'm just a bitch and I'm just coming out and saying this you know gosh that's got to be hard because they always need a villain of the season like any season of television yeah there's going to be they they cast four specific roles yeah so that's the role that you kind of had to take on I guess I no idea I'm not like a huge avid uh reality TV watcher i love love is blind yeah oh so good i am devoted to that one yeah i love that one yeah so i didn't i just felt like i wasn't really aware is there going to be a season two or we don't know yet we don't know yet oh that's a yes okay um i mean it did it did so well like it's really so in season two how are you gonna if there's a season two when whatever you

want to say right how are you going to approach it i mean i just want to continue to be myself i don't No, like I don't want to feel like I need to have like some like calculated game. I just want to like, if there's like animosity towards other women, which there is, I would love to like sit down and figure out what that is. I love that though because I think that would be really hard to go into another season. And part of you probably wants to redeem yourself because you're like, this is not exactly who I am. But also you're like, I don't want to be calculated and lose who I am just to try and be something else to make other people on the internet like, you know. So I like that.

And I think, like, during that time, like, I was going through so much that, of course, like, when I watch it, I'm like, well, yeah, I was reacting that way because of what, there's a reason why we react to certain things in our life. And unfortunately, you know, there was some context that wasn't there as to why I made certain decision or to why I reacted that way, which doesn't always make it right. There were definitely reactions where I was like, whoa, like, dramatic. Yeah, yeah. Calm down there, Whitney. Yeah, yeah. Pull the reins back. Yeah.

But no, I just like, I just want to continue. be myself. I don't know. I respect that. You have great moments and bad moments and I'm sure if a camera was following you around and you were only showing your bad moments, like, of course you're not going to be a likable person. Like, no, he's going to want to hang out with you, you know? I wish everybody could watch reality TV through a lens of somebody who's been on reality TV. Yeah. You know, it's like, it's kind of one of those things where you wish everyone in the world had been a waitress or a waiter at some point in their life so that they, yeah, yeah, can appreciate, yeah, the service. Yeah. When I had to face all of the men at my men tell all and they're all really

me with questions and doing things. I was like, you guys, you try dating 30 women on national television, have it edited and not make a mistake. Right. Like, you're not going to like every reaction you've done. You're not going to like every choice you've made. Because you're a human being and you're also being edited. That's exactly right. And that's really hard. So somebody else is narrating your story. And how scary is that to go into another season if it is knowing that? You're like, I'm going to hire a different entertainment lawyer for my contract. no I will say though that like one thing that like I really learned from this last season is I just like want to let go of like what I can't control I can control what other women are going to say or do or whatever but like I control what I can control and I also don't want to take things as personally as I did in the first season how hard is it to not take something personally like I know I try and live like that too and when you're not that's hard to live by even when you're say you had no social media you're never on television. of you're just living your life in like a small bubble it's still hard to not take things personally

yeah so how do we do it i think at least what i do is i'm like i have no idea what they're going through yeah like oh that's a there's something they're reacting this way because either a they really are upset with me and if they are like i'd love to sit down and talk about it like genuinely and let's figure it out or be you know maybe they're projecting because something is going on in their life that i don't know about like again watching the first season i'm just like you're you genuinely have no idea what someone's going through. People are reacting to things in a certain way because of it. Like when,

even for myself personally, when I react a certain way to like say a relationship, a partner, a friend, a family member, it's usually because I'm going through something. Yeah, exactly.

If I'm mad at somebody on the internet, I'm probably jealous. Like there's certain things where I'm like, I'm 39. I've done a lot of therapy, so I'm able to like see that now. But people don't, you know,

think that way a lot of times. that's a good but I want to I want to have that mindset more because and yeah and when you like I don't know who the girls are that you don't get along with but like in between filming if there is a season two did they say like hold off on having conversations with them yeah because they want to see it on yeah they want it real time because as an audience we would want to see that too yeah like you and that would be hard to you know I would want it too it'd be more authentic and raw and genuine yeah yeah so you haven't talked to the people that no I haven't not in person I want to know how you and your husband met okay such a cool story so I actually served a mission okay like I was one of those

missionaries name tagging everything knocking on doors yeah and good all Atlanta Georgia yeah I love Tennessee because as I'm driving through I'm like oh this reminds me so much of Georgia yeah I love it oh yeah it does yeah my husband is from Atlanta Georgia when I was serving my mission he was on his mission in Brazil yeah I served they're called wards and it's like a congregation and it's about like the area that you're in is how that congregation is put together to go to church. Anyways, I was in his parents' ward. And so I knew his family. I knew everything, you know, about him, what it felt like was. He was on his mission. This was in 2014. Okay. Yeah. He's on his mission. Anyways, I come home, like, living my best life, I guess. I'm in college and one of my guy friends

wants to take out one of my girlfriends. And I was like, yeah, absolutely. But like, you know I had just gotten through a really bad breakup and I was like you got to find someone for me because if you want me to go for moral support like and it happened to be Connor and I was like oh my gosh yes like I know his whole family was so fun you know so Connor and I were mainly moral support for yeah this mutual friend we had and my girlfriend my girlfriend bails on the date she's like no she said yes and then she said no and then he still took me out though so Connor and I still went out and we had so much fun And then it went from there. That's great. Yeah. So I'm like, it was like a blind date, but I also knew everything about him. This just came to my brain right now. Yeah.

How do Mormons feel about the musical, The Book of Mormon? I want to see it. You know? I know some people take, oh, do you think it's really offensive? Yeah, but I love offensive humor. Okay. And I do why. So that's why I'm like, I think it would be funny.

Because I've heard some of the songs, and I'm like, that's hilarious. It's so freaking unhinged in like the best way. I want to see it. Okay. want to go backstage. I want to meet all the performers. Please get pictures with them. No, I think it looks so funny. I do know that, I mean, yeah, some people are going to take offense. Some people are going to think it's funny. Because I'm sure there's a lot of misconceptions in that. I'm sure. Absolutely. Absolutely. Yeah. I mean, I didn't know what I was walking into. And I remember

being like, if I was Mormon, I'd be like, holy shit. And I don't get offended easily. That makes you want to see it even more. Oh my gosh. I also just realized there's more weight on the side. I'm like, I only put in one earring today. That is so me. That is so me. Oh my gosh. What is the craziest rumor that you've heard about you or your relationship online? Oh my gosh. That my husband's gay. Stop. Yes. And I'm like, why do I need to put out like a sex tape or something? Like trust me, we're good. Like everything's fine. Why do they think that? I think it's because like when we were going through our personal stuff and I know you haven't seen it but he's struggled through a porn addiction. Got it. And there's a scene where one of my friends says something along the line's like, oh, like, I can see how

like he was confused sexually. He was sexually assaulted at a very young age. It's a trauma he's worked through. It's so inspiring. But, and then I think people kind of took that out of context. Of course. And I'm just like, yeah, no. And he, and when you watch it, his hair is changing so much. But again, we're filming the pilot and then two years later, it's the season. And what happens is we come back from Hawaii and his hair's bleached. Yeah. And then we shave it. Yeah.

Because he's getting, he's prepping for a hair transplant. So then he has a hair transplant. And then he has this whole head of hair. Got it. So everyone's like, what is going on? I'm just like, it's because of everything like, like, yeah, people don't understand timing. Yeah, I'm just like, no, it's not like we're changing.

But it looks like we're changing his hair like every day. And I'm like, no, that's not it at all. Oh my gosh. I know. That is a wild rumor. Yes. You should definitely release a sex tape. Yeah, I will.

It works out well for a lot of people. Yeah, Kimmy K. Yeah. I thought about doing it. She's a billionaire. Yeah. I got a couple things in the archives. I could throw up there, see what happens.

I love it. Oh, gosh. You never forget it out. Wow. And then what's the craziest rumor you've heard about yourself? Ooh, I actually don't know. Is there anything out there that you're like, I want to clear that up? I think just like things about the show.

Yeah. Like, you know. Like are you like contractually up? No, what were you going to say? No, there are things that I have said where I like gave more context. Yeah. And I'm glad that I did. And whether.

people you know want to accept it or not like that's okay like that's up to you but yeah that's probably like the biggest thing like oh like well you know why did she react that way and I'm like well like this is why I reacted that way you know my so my producer did watch the show oh cool and so she helped me with the notes but she said you were open about how Connor was on Tinder during the first part of your marriage yeah how did you find that out we were it was about three years ago yeah and there were these videos coming up on my TikTok and they're like oh I just like saw Connor 11 on Tinder and I remember showing my husband I'm just like what a joke like people are so crazy like they're making all of this up da da da da da and then that night he had told me everything oh wow like about the porn addiction about tender the sexual assault didn't come tell later and I think it's because that was more traumatizing for him to talk about through EMDR and therapy that he went through and everything he finally felt comfortable to talk about that yep but yeah that was I just remember sitting there and like him telling me all of this and just being like that's overwhelming i don't know what my life is yeah like this is so how did you get through that

i mean it took time like i would say that first year was like probably one of the hardest years of my marriage i would assume so yeah yeah just because it was just a constant roller coaster well and how do you get trust and confidence back in that to move forward i think you have to make a choice yeah no i think you have to make a choice yeah do you want to gain this trust back right or do you not want to and it comes from both sides like there were so many things that he needed to change and i needed to change too obviously because now i've built up anger and resentment and also insecurities of it that i needed to change right and it takes a lot of work in time yeah i i bow down to you for that one because i i just hold grudges that's something i need to work on

is like your the level of forgiveness that somebody needs is that's impressive that you can get there how's your relationship evolved since that and since the show and everything i mean he doesn't watch so that's good yeah i know and i think if he did like i think he would be fine like i really do he's just choosing um no it's it's interesting and i've said this before like and i don't wish this on any marriages but i think when you go through like a very traumatic scenario like that in your relationship something that can be so damaging on your relationship and you both both are working together to like get through the other side, wow, is your marriage stronger than ever? Yes. And that's, I feel like how we are right now. I mean, I can't even imagine

because I feel like that's life in general is when you go through something hard and you work through it. And even any relationship, like even friendships. It's like, okay, like if we both want to, you know, come together and work through this, like let's go through it. But like, let's go through it. Yeah. You know, let's not stay in it. Don't push it down and avoid it. Yes. Then we have to work through it and both of us have to be in that same tunnel yeah yeah that's fair okay I heard also you want to get into acting yes tell me everything yeah so I've been doing it for a couple years now I've been doing smaller projects but it's interesting ever since the show has come out like I've had opportunities to talk with bigger networks and casting directors which is really exciting so I'm really

excited after this baby to like really dive in on that because I'm ambitious no I love that I love, I love film. I've always loved film and I, well, I've always been in like, I've loved entertainment. I love the entertainment industry. And reality is a definitely different take, I feel like, but I've always just enjoyed entertaining. And I think that's why I fell in love with TikTok. Like, I just loved entertaining. I get that.

It was just fun. And I got to do it from home. Like, how nice. I'm the same way. I love entertaining. I love hosting a podcast. I love doing Instagram stories. I love doing dance things and, like,

that's so fun but so did you act at all in your like life so i graduated in theater with an eminiscism dance yeah from my college and i had never like gotten into film yeah until like two years ago and i was starting to do little projects here and there and i just fell in love with it that's so fun i do feel like there are people out there that are just like born to entertain yeah and you're i hope i'm one of them well you already are you already are one of them you're definitely entertaining like even if it's just your TikTok, whatever you're doing. Like, you're giving the people what they want. That's, what specific, like, projects or roles would you be interested in?

Oh, my gosh. I love fantasy. Yeah. I love fantasy. Like, if, have you read a court of thorns and roses? Oh, my God. It's honestly, sitting at my house and I need to start. Because I heard the first one's hard to get through, and then it's just like, well?

I loved the first one. Who ever was telling you that? I mean, the second one's my favorite. Yes, that's what I heard. Okay, maybe that's what it was like, get through the first just to get. to the second please just put me on that show yeah i will literally be the gardener like scooping at poop if you want me to yeah i would love to be on a series like yeah yeah i love fantasy yeah okay every podcast i have a segment where i make someone do a confession of an embarrassing story okay

so now's the time to confess to me or what do you guys i'm the bishop you are i'm just kidding. We're going to have like an actual confession. Yeah. Oh gosh. Okay. I've got a really good one. Okay.

So after you give birth, yeah, especially for me because I'm filled with so much freaking medication. Yeah. To give birth to get induced. You get so constipated. Oh yeah. Like so badly. I've heard this.

And my first one, I don't know why. And even when I talk to my friends, they're like, why did they never prescribe you stool softeners? Like that's just like a common thing I guess never never prescribed it no I was never prescribed it oh no and again this is my first one and it's like I never thought like this was like a question I need to ask and also my first one so you're tearing a little bit more so it's even more painful oh I just clenched so hard I was just like like my butt just went and obviously they stitch you yeah so it's like using those muscles again like it It hurts. No, it's painful. So I, I can't believe I'm sharing this story. Whatever, it's the best one. I could not poop. Yeah. But not because it wasn't there. Trust me, it was there. It was because it was so incredibly painful. Yeah. I had to go in the shower. Yes. And just take, just take a dump in the shower. Because I needed something to relax me. That's fair. Because it was so incredibly painful. Have you never heard of poppers? No. oh in the gay community yeah they'll take a popper and it helps just release and open up and and it's only like i guess that's what i need yeah you need a popper i think it's actually like quite like it's like a drug so i don't know if you want to do that i i don't recommend this but i've heard in the gay community that they take poppers and

it just like opens you up and release it's like something you actually put in your i think you sniff it oh yeah interesting well i got looked that up for beam number three because let me tell you even after i had my second one i did have stool softeners didn't have to poop in the shower, but still so freaking painful. Every girlfriend, I have a lot of girlfriends who have babies and every single one has had a story like that. Yeah. And so you are in the mom community that there's a lot of moms that watch and listen and

they probably have a very similar story. Oh gosh. I'm not kidding you. This is, I, you just reminded me of the story. A girl I worked with back in the day and I, of course, would never name her name for this, but she told me that she was so badly constipated and that it was like right there, her husband had to take tongs. What?

And she, like, bent over to pull it out? Why do I feel like the tongs would hurt? Like, I'm assuming some of it was already out then. Yes. Okay, good. Yeah. Oh, God. Yeah.

Yeah. So there's that. I think what I wish I would have done is probably just, like, on enema. Yeah. To, like, soften it all up with there. Yeah. Just have it. Because it's there.

So it's like, oh, gosh, just so painful. I feel like there's no shame in any mom game out there. Like, it's one of those things where I'm like, if you gave birth, you were allowed to do. Yeah. You do anything. Whatever you need to do, to do whatever, to make you feel in any type of way, you do it. Amen. I agree with that.

I really bow down to moms. What is like the most common question that you're asked where you're like, from people watching the show, what's their number one question they ask you? I'll get asked a lot why I reacted. Okay, so there's a scene where I'm gifting fruity pebbles to one of the castmates. Okay. And she's upset that I had given her this gift. and then I act upset and people are like

why would you be so upset? Well it was like a sexual endoendo and a very private sexual endoendo but I had called her ahead of time to make sure it was okay that I brought this gift so that's why I'm reacting that way that like oh she's so mad

it's like well I'm pissed because I'm like what are you why are you acting this way you knew this was happening yeah it's like stuff like that where I'm like oh if the context was there then yeah like of course of I were to give somebody a gift and they would have been offended. I would never, any human being, I really genuinely feel like would have been like, oh my gosh, like I'm so sorry.

Like, but in that scene, I looked just like piss that I had given this person a gift and they didn't love it. But that wasn't the case. Yeah, that's, yeah. It's so interesting because it would be so easy to pigeonhole someone into a villain role on TV. I know. I'm so easy. I learned that, yeah. It is very entertaining.

Oh my gosh. They did a great job. Well, so one of my really good friends is Rob Mills, who's like the head of Hulu. He's a night where, yeah, he's a really nice guy. He's the best. Yes. I love him so much and I was at dinner with him and he was like, you just wait for this mom and Mormon show to come out.

And he was like, you're going to love it. Yeah. So I can't wait to watch. No, you're going to, you might want to binge it. I think I will tonight. Yeah. Thank you so much. Thank you.

It's probably nice and hard to keep like reliving certain things and having to explain yourself. But thank you for doing it and being yourself. like when people like my baby is moving so much right now i don't know if you guys have like seen yeah like little kicks like yeah oh yeah i'm just like whoa i'm like someone's loving it here well come on out baby i need the downloads just kidding um i always said like when i when i went on the bachelor my friends and family were like and i'm not saying this to toot my horn they they just said this to me like they're like you're so authentic and down to earth and yourself just keep that like Don't try and be anyone else.

And my friend knows I'm obsessed with Nirvana and Kurt Cobain. And she sent me this quote. And it was Kurt Cobain quoted, I'd rather be hated who I am than love for who I'm not. Yeah, I love that. And that's how I feel like everybody should live. I agree. Amen to that.

Amen to that. Amen to you. Thank you. Amen to the Mormons. That's how I'm ending it. I love it. I'm Caitlin Bristow. Your session is now ending.

And if I'm being honest, I wouldn't mind a rating in a movie.