Off The Vine with Kaitlyn Bristowe - Zachariah Porter & Jonathan Carson | Awkward Moments and Raccoon Run-ins with the Camp Counselors Podcast Hosts

Episode Date: October 1, 2024

#776. Kaitlyn is joined by Zachariah Porter and Jonathan Carson, the hilarious hosts of the Camp Counselors podcast. They dive into everything from their love of cruises to what it's like living, working, and creating together as boyfriends. Tune in for wild stories, including a raccoon with attitude and an embarrassing club bathroom moment that will have you in tears. Plus, the duo shares their upcoming comedy tour plans and why grabbing a wig can be the ultimate creative boost. Get ready for a fun, unfiltered chat full of laughs! If you’re LOVING this podcast, please follow and leave a rating and review below! PLUS, FOLLOW OUR PODCAST INSTAGRAM HERE! Thank you to our Sponsors! Check out these deals! Boll & Branch: Enjoy 20% off plus free shipping on your first set of sheets at BollAndBranch.com with promo code VINE20. Dime Beauty: Go to DIMEBeautyCO.com to unlock your discount! Range Rover: Explore the Range Rover Evoque at LandRoverUSA.com Nutrafol: Get $10 off your first month’s subscription and free shipping when you go to See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Okay, let's talk about the original enemies to lovers story. Before all of our reality TV couples, before the rom-coms, we binge, there was Elizabeth Bennett and Mr. Darcy in pride and prejudice. An Audible has just dropped a brand new original that will have you completely hooked, I am. It's not just any audiobook. This is a full cast performance. So Marisa Abella, you might know her from industry, brings Elizabeth Bennett to life.

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So whether it's your first time experiencing Pride and Prejudice or you've read it a million times, you're going to fall absolutely in love all over again. So go listen to Pride and Prejudice now at audible.ca slash Jane Austen. Off the Vine. Hey everybody, welcome to Off the Vine. I'm your host, Caitlin Bristow. Today in the studio, I have Zachariah and Jonathan from the Camp Counselor's Podcast. They are hilarious content creators, podcasters, and my new best friends.

We're all going to go on a cruise together and maybe we'll make it an off the vine and camp counselors podcast. And then the campers and the vinos can all come together and we can just drink spade and sparrows and be merry. We talk about brown recluse spiders, how we both have an incident with one. Jonathan got attacked by a raccoon. We talk about their upcoming tour for comedy and their podcast. So enjoy my conversation with Zachariah. Jonathan. Welcome to the podcast. Thank you so much for coming. Thank you so much for having us. We're excited to be here. I'm excited. You guys are obviously podcast naturals. Well, thank you. It's been a delight.

I think we've had a mini podcast before this podcast. So we're all warmed up and ready to go. We are. We're lubed up. I mean, we're supposed to have some spade and sparrows rosé. I fpped up. But we're still lubed up. Yeah. It's early though. It is. I was so impressed that you guys said you would drink rosé if I had it here. I was like, oh shit. Okay. My kind of people. Oh yeah. Absolutely. 100%. We're always down to drink. This is like a little embarrassing about us. We do like unironically love a cruise. You do? I think we like it because the drinking starts so early. Like I like that energy.

I do. Whatever. Maybe we don't like cruises. Maybe we just like to have a little something with breakfast. I don't know. Tell me what else you like about a cruise. The camaraderie at bingo, the competitive word searches, which is a thing. Come on. What cruise line are you going on? Royal Caribbean.

We're loyal to the royal. You have like, loyal to the royal. Oh my God. Jonathan did a brand deal with them and then they sent us on a cruise as a part of like the payment or whatever and then we went on it we were like wait we actually love

I like the constant run of food I like that there's always something going on everyone's drunk and having a silly time a very silly time but did you feel like there are people your age did you find friends yeah well I feel like we became quick friends

with like the older people we had one Miss Wanda we met her because Wanda and buttons And buttons. Her daughter bought ends. You wouldn't believe this, but it was 9 a.m. And I was drinking. I was strawberry dacry. And I had my headphones in because I like to listen to jazz music when I'm reading. Oh, my God. Wait, really?

Yes, I listen to jazz music while I read. Do you have ADHD? Yes. Okay. Same. So that's what helps me like focus. I don't remember what we were just talking about. So Ms. Wanda. Oh, yeah. So it's early in the morning and I'm drinking my strawberry dacry. And I had my headphones in. So I didn't realize that I was slurping through the straw.

so loud. So she like hit me on the shoulder. She's like, what are you slurping on? Like, you are being so disruptive. And I was like, I'm so sorry. Strawberry Daugree. So she got up and left and came back with another one for me and one for her. And then we all became the four of us. Oh, fast friends for sure. Yeah. Oh my God. Yeah. It was a

mother-daughter, like, duo. And then it was us and we just hung out the entire cruise. And of course, we're friends on Instagram now and like, we'll check in with each other. This is the daughter buttons. I'm obsessed. Is this the mother-daughter? Yeah, that was the cruise.

Oh, you're welcome. That was the cruise? We did a family photo night. And they, oh, look, they're like best friends. Wait, but there might be trouble in paradise because I think they have followed each other. No, no, I'm invested. I know. I don't know what I'm at.

Well, nobody knows who. Oh, we'll leap out. No, it's fine. I feel there's got to be a bunch. But, oh, yeah, did you see this is the one of us with, with, Miss, Ms. Della. Can you, like, believe this? Like, we will do anything for the bit. We met, like, go along.

days before that. We're like, yeah, we'll take, we'll take, we'll take, mommy's babies is the case. Yeah, so that's why we love cruises. Yeah, because you never know who you're going to meet. I mean, we have the best time. That's, that would be who I would end up hanging out with too. Yeah. I wonder, if you were slurping next to me, I would have throat chopped you because I have

misophonia and I can't handle that sound of slurping. Understandable. See, and I wouldn't normally do it, but I have my half burns out. Yeah, that's fair. That's fair. Give me a pass, please. you have a pass for me but just don't do it in my presence i just can't get down with a cruise i'm too scared of i have a really severe fear of vomit and i feel like if one person got sick on a cruise

we're all going down and everyone's going to be puking and that scares me that's that's plus i just don't like a lot of people like crowds give me anxiety and i get why people don't like cruises it just could never be me and i know that it's like corny to them but it's like we like that just like i don't know I love that you love a cruise. I want to be the person to love a cruise. I just don't. And I've never been on one. I used to audition all the time to try and be a dancer on a cruise ship.

I made it to the end one time of this audition for Princess Cruise Lines. And then I never got a call and I still feel sad about it. So maybe I'm just bitter at the cruise lines for not picking me. Yeah, let's dig into that a little bit deeper. I feel like this is a therapy. I have therapy tonight at six after like five podcasts. I'm going to be like, I don't know how I'm going to do it. But oh my God, okay, well, maybe I just need to cruise with you guys.

Okay, we're down. When's your next cruise? When are we going? Usually around February. Yeah, we like a winter cruise. A winter cruise. Oh, winter cruise. Where do you go?

Usually the Caribbean. Oh, right. Yeah, because it's cold here. Loyal to the Royal. Exactly. In the namesake. Oh, fair enough. That's fair enough.

Okay, maybe I just need to. I just had an idea. Maybe we do a podcast cruise. I mean, I've always thought about doing that because I think that would be hilarious. but like we get like a bunch of fun podcasts together and we'll do a different show every night and I'll finally be a dance I'll come out in like this show outfit and like dance and be like oh my god wait that'd be so fun okay well now I'm excited wait that is a great idea it is a good idea yeah okay well we'll dive into that later okay okay so you literally do everything together

you've been together for four years you create content together you podcast together you live together you work together, you, everything. How is, does that, I couldn't. I like you speak on those because I want to hear what you have to say. I think it works out. I think we're each other's, obviously we like love each other and we've been boyfriends for four years, but I think we're also each other's best friends. Yeah.

So I think we enjoy living this life together. Yeah. And I think we both had very normal jobs before the pandemic and then content took over. And I think we're very grateful for it. So we're just hitting the ground running every day at 100 miles. hour. I have a question. So what were you doing before the pandemic? I was working at a Catholic university. A Catholic university? Yes. I had been let go of my job before that. So it was like a panic, jump on whatever needs like a videographer and an editor. I did, I did video editing. So that's

what I was doing. You're leaving out a really important detail for the audience here. And is that your boss was a nun in full garb. Yeah. Wow. It was very, yeah. Sister. If you were. Sister. I would be like, Oh my gosh, should you call her sister? Yeah, I'd be like, hey, sis. And she'd be like, literally don't call me that. I'll pray for you.

And she did. And here I am. So thanks, sis, wherever you are. Oh, my God. She prayed for you to get whatever you wanted in life to make you happy. And now you're creating content with your boyfriend. Okay. That's what you want to go with.

That is sweet. That is. I pray for haters every night. I say, give them everything that they want and more. You're a sister at this point. I'm, I am sister, none, Mary, whatever her name. What is her name? oh you can't sit i know i can but yeah we'll call her sex yeah we're gonna call her sis

oh my gosh okay and then what did you do i was a server like a waiter forever i went to school for like um marketing i worked at like nonprofits but right before i was back waiting tables and bartending do you ever like go back and get anxiety sitting in a restaurant and just like feel for all the bartenders and servers because i do that i'm like oh god they're either having a really good night or a bad night and i feel like you could tell and i just want to help them and like get up and table do maintenance for them. I just am constantly thinking about it. Like, we'll be at a restaurant and like the bill will come back.

And it'd be insane. I'm like, well, this server is going to make like $7.50 or like, we'll go here and I'll be like, yeah, they're understaffed or like, they need to wipe that. Like, I'm constantly thinking about it. But I loved it. I really enjoyed working in restaurants. You didn't do it long enough where you were corrupted and jaded. I did it for eight years.

Oh. I will think. I did. The area that he's from, like in the New Bedford, Massachusetts area, all of the restaurants that around there, like, everybody knows everybody everybody like kind of restaurant hops and enjoys like spending their days off at either their restaurant or somebody else's it's it was very bizarre for me to jump into because i'm not from an area that well i also wasn't in the restaurant biz but i don't know i think it's so interesting because you really do love it you know what it is i think it's i was always quitting these jobs i got my like degree in because i hated having a boss and i think when you're a server you're kind of your own boss oh i'll give it a shift whatever so it's like i was more in control of it oh really good point i i did it for a 11 years. Okay. Okay. You know. I was really good at it and I did love it. But the last few years, I was such a passive aggressive bitch. Like I somebody would be like, can I have ketchup for my steak? And I would be

like, do you want me to cut it up for you too and like feed it to you? Like you child. Like I was so mean. Did you say that to something? No. I was like, wait, that's crazy. That's what I would think in my head though. But I would like make them feel silly. Like I'd be like, okay. ketchup for your thing. Or you just make that face like, you were done. Okay. I'd be like that's really offensive to the chef. But okay.

If you need ketchup for your, I don't know. I just turned bitter. Like, I just wasn't. And now I have the server nightmares still to this day. It's a whole thing. Okay, so how did you guys meet? A Cinderella story. Yeah, Instagram.

Oh, was it? Yeah, right before the pandemic. It was before the pandemic. It was before both of us were doing content creation full time. Oh, like, did you have mutual friends? No, this is crazy. Because we always want to hear, when we tell the story, I'm always like, are you either one side of the other? So you want to explain?

Okay, so I, when I'm on Instagram, I always go to my explore page. Do you use your explore page at all? I hate my explore page. I'm like, why, what did I do to you? Why are you showing me this? It's so overstimulating that I'm just like, I need more of it sometimes. Yeah, I get that. So I don't know how, but one of your, his birthday photo posts came up on my thing.

And it was like, it truly was before all, like, the following. So I don't know why you got pushed. Yeah. But I clicked it and I double tapped. I was like, oh, he's cute. So I double tapped. But at the top, it said location, Massachusetts. I was in Philadelphia at the time.

Yeah. So I was like, never going to happen. So I kept scrolling. Then like 20 minutes later, I have a DM that's a little aggressive. Oh. That's like, how are you going to like my picture or not message me? How are you going to like my picture? Because like, what's the point?

Like, don't go through my page and like all my pictures and not message. He was press. I was like, this was just like, I was a normal person. I didn't have like a phone. You know what I mean? So it was very obvious that you were just like creeping on my page and not messaging me. I'm like, are you into it or not? Like, don't play this game.

Oh, I like that. And I played the game and it worked. What was your game? Well, I was just acting uninterested. I wouldn't follow. Liking all the photos, but not following or that is you acting uninterested. Yeah. I guess like long story short, we just did like long distance for a while and then we moved into

New York together, like almost, we're on our third year here together, I've been living together, but yeah. And did you have this idea? Like, let's create content and come up with these skits and like try and go viral or were you like, like, how did this happen? Well, the content creation wise, like he was doing a, like, we were, we were doing stuff separately. So he was doing that all completely on his own before we really started dating, dating. Yeah. I think our content's always been very separate in that sense where we like, he'll help me film my videos, but I think we do our own thing video-wise. I think when we moved to New York, the idea was to do something together, and that's when we created our podcast, Camp Counselors. Okay. It's like our joint thing together.

And this was after you moved in together. Yeah. Yes. That summer. Really shortly after, though, because we moved in July and then we started that August in 2022. Oh, wow. Yeah. How fun. Okay. And it works because you were saying outside that you're both very different. Tell me how. I think from a, from an audience perspective, I think I'm much more like a, a and like I don't know like boisterous and I think he's much more chill and like level-headed and I think that offsets the podcast from a comedy standpoint but I think our relationship I think we both know each other and when to not push buttons and when to step away like there's plenty of times where we're like fighting before the show and we do have to shelf it because I mean like we're on a schedule yeah but that's like life you know what I mean like I think we're both business oriented in that sense where it's like okay well we know how each other operate compartmentalize does that help because it probably forget the problem after maybe sometimes or no.

Well, the problem is never that serious. It really is. It's always a problem of communication because the way that I say things is just I grew and I can't blame it where you grow up, but I grew up in an area where it's like, you just say things and it's like, that's how I meant to it and it was blunt and I didn't mean it rude, but I just, that's how it comes out. Like my message is correct. The way I delivered it was poor.

Uncorrible. Yeah. And it's like. That's me. Yeah. And I think that's, but we don't ever fight about really fundamentally. terrible things. I feel like we're on the same page with like mostly everything. You're lying. No, we really are but definitely different in the sense of like where it's almost like good cop bad cop in some

situation. Which one am I? You be the judge audience. No not bad cop but more intense like yeah we what we were kind of briefly talking about is that we had people stealing packages our neighbors thought that it was us and we installed a ring doorbell and found out that it was the woman who was like taking care of the building that we live in was stealing our packages um she stole a box of my cat food my cat is still hungry to this very day and you were like it's okay queen so i was pissed about it i showed you and you were fuming like obviously we both were but on top of her sealing our packages a lot of our neighbors thought that we were the ones who were stealing things and i don't know why but i don't know we came home from a trip with a decoy empty amazon

on package in front of our door, written on marker, saying stop stealing on all sides of the packages. Yeah, people, people were leaving things at our doorstep. So it was very much like, oh my God. Because there's no proof because we've never stolen a package. So it's like, we weren't even in town. We were in Massachusetts. So all that to say. Talk about passive aggressive. Oh, I know. I know. So I was like, we need the ring doorbell now because you're never doing that to me again. That's like my first roommate left a sticky note on the floor and said, why are these shoes right here? And I was like, why is, why is. Is there a piece of garbage by the shoes now?

So I just left an extra sticky note that said, why is there a piece of garbage here? Oh, did you write your initials on the eggs, like each egg in the fridge too? I didn't, but he did. Oh, my God. Oh, I've had some awful roommate stories, but go on with,

I was going to interrupt you, but. No, we'll circle back to that because I want to hear about that. Oh, yeah, we can circle back. But so I went outside when she ended up coming. Right when I found out that she was the one, she actually came later that day. So I was like, oh, I'm going to go out and I'm going to say something. I'm going to say something. And then I walk out and I'm like, hey, how is your

weekend? And I was like, why am I being nice to this woman who like clearly stole from me? And I was like, did you see my package? And she was like, I saw a package and I put it behind the shrub. I was like, oh, that's crazy that you did that because I don't see it. And I went inside and he starts screaming through the window. He's like, you saw her package. I didn't scream. I just, I yelled at a level that she could hear. Yeah. And then all of a sudden, I'm like, I'm like, we know that you sold the We have it on camera and all of a sudden she knocks on the window and she's like, I haven't seen the package, but I will keep an eye on. Like now she's like doubling back. I'm like, you know you heard. And she saw her keys or gate. So I'm like, she could come in at any time. It's just I think. Change your locks. Also, why would she take the package and hide it behind a shrub in the first place?

She was saying that she did it so no one else would steal it. So she was saying, I hid it for your, your sake, but she was the one who took it. I watch her put it in her drunk. You need to ask her she has a cat because, oh, right, you don't know. She didn't know that. She didn't know that. She stole cat food until... She didn't know she still cat food. It was heavy. So she was probably like, oh, this is like a robot or something good. A robot. Something that's going from.

I would... Yeah, I remember I stole once in my whole life. And it was from a, like, 7-Eleven. It was, like, I miscounted my five-cent gummy candies. And I felt, still to this day, I'm like... Sit with you. And I was so scared that he was going to call me up, but I just wanted to see if I could get away with it.

Yeah, and he did. And I did. But then you think that would, like, create a monster? Because I'd be like, well, what else can I get away with? But I really just felt guilty for, like, years about it. Yeah, you got it out of your system. So, like, you're all good. Yeah.

Okay. And so you're just a little more, like, to the point. And you're like, let's dance around it. Yeah. Yeah. That's a really sweet way of saying that. Thank you for saying that. Thank you.

You're welcome. You're welcome. I also think about essentially you're together, but your roommates at the same time. Yeah. But I always wonder what kind of roommate. people think I was because I had four people in a one-bedroom apartment when I first moved to Vancouver and you always think you're not the problem like I never think I'm the problem especially in like a living situation because I'm clean and I'm a good communicator and I feel like I like did my dishes

so I always wonder but I yeah this one roommate I had was like he would check for any water spots on dishes that I like if I didn't dry it properly before putting it away and like leave me notes being like, all right, it's your turn to clean the fridge out. And I'm like, I don't want to clean the fridge out. Oh, my God. That sounds miserable. Yeah, it was terrible. Yeah, it was really bad.

But what is your like pet peeve about the other person while living together? Are you both clean? Yeah, I feel like we're both clean. Oh, my God, you guys are just like couple goals over here. We don't really have fine. We don't really have any. Well, I don't figure out what that you do that I find annoying. I think the thing is I, like living in New York, I always want to be out doing something,

at least going on walks, and I think that's what we always fight. It's like, you're very much work-oriented, glued to the computer, like, want to stay home, and I just want to be, like, dancing around the city 24-7. Okay, yeah, I'll agree with that. That's where, like, sometimes, but I would love to do that, but also I edit our podcast, and we do two episodes a week. So it's, like, a lot of... Oh, that's a big job.

And I know that it's easy for me to get up and then go and do a walk that ends up being, like, a three-hour walk with, like, a drink at lunch. And then I come home, and then I'm set... I set myself back that later, like, you're fine, making your kind of... and sitting on the couch and chilling and then I'm like scrambling to catch up. How do you come up with creative stuff all the time? I just did an Instagram post about this where I'm like I see everybody doing so much on Instagram and I'm like I'm like why don't I think of that? Hey that was funny. Why didn't I think about that? But then I scroll and I'm like well they got it from that person and then that person got it from this person and like where is the original content but people are so creative these days and and it really is. I think people don't understand how much of a commitment it is to put together these like kinds of videos and this kind of content every day. So how do you get your creative juices flowing all the time?

His are more juicier than mine. Oh, your juices just be flowing at all times? Yeah, I'm just a juicy girl over here. That's a juicy girl summer. It's a juicy girl summer now. Move her brat. No, I think it's just like, I just like love doing characters and wigs. And I think I'm, I was talking about before.

If you put a wig on, the whole vibe just changes. Yeah. I think if you're feeling uncreative, grab a wig. Oh. See what just comes up. It'll bubble up like a juicy girl would. Oh my God. I'm going to get a wig after this.

You should. Yeah. You just like all of a sudden the wig is on and you are a different person. I think it's like all the years in retail and like restaurants and like even being out and hearing conversations that inspires these like little moments that I turn into like and they're just like a minute 30. That's not that long. I'm like. I'm only about our podcast is. You know what I mean?

So it's like just kind of doing that. What are people going to get if they listen to the podcast? Um, a lot of silly goofy stuff. Okay. it's essentially like we never went to like a full summer camp but decided that we should have a summer camp themed podcast yeah it's like a fictional camp right and our listeners are the campers and it's like you're the counselors yes we're the camp counselors and yeah we just kind of made up this lore that everybody seems to be going with and now it's like a whole universe that's kind of out of our hands that the campers and like the listeners start creating like fandoms of the characters we mentioned one I love that. That means that people are invested in you as people and your characters. And like you're, I always find it so fun to build community and to have like, I call my

listeners Vino's. You call yours campers. And you just become this weird little family where you're like, oh, you get me. I feel like podcasts are so great for that because nobody's going to tune in if they don't want like 45 minutes of you. And so it starts to feel like you're all just in it together. Yeah. Absolutely.

And like with short form, it's. always, like, getting as much and as short as possible. And this is the first time that, like, we can tell a full story and not feel like, oh, no, it's going to go over the minute. Like, yeah. Right. It's just, just be yourself for a fucking second and just enjoy it. Yeah.

Yeah. It's been fun. Yeah. We do, like, fun stories. We do catching up with a week. And then we do a couple different segments every single week. And then people write in for our Monday episodes. So it's just a lot of different segments. There's a lot going on with it 24-7. Yeah.

What kind of questions did they ask? um like relationship advice yeah yeah a lot of wedding questions a lot of terrible mother-in-laws terrible friends it's that thing where like wedding culture is so crazy right now like people want other people to shell out seven thousand dollars for a bachelorette and then when it's their turn they're like well now i have a baby i can't come and it's like well i was just doing yours a year ago and it's a lot of like her feelings weddings really bring out the worst than people or like a trying time and a friendship like it's either going to make it past this or it's not like that's So true. Oh my gosh. One of my best friends, she was getting married, and it was in Mexico, and I was a bridesmaid. And I got a call to go on The Bachelor. And she was like, are you really going to miss my wedding for season 19 of The Bachelor? And I was like, I was like, is that really going to ruin our friendship? And she was like, I don't know if I could get past you missing my wedding, like, to go on The Bachelor. And at the time, the Bachelor was like just picking back up.

again and like it went through a bit of a lull and it was like and i was like that's true like season 19 probably nothing will come out of it i'll probably get sent home night one for being the drunk girl anyways like and i was like really thinking about it and but every everything emmy was like no this is your path you're supposed to do it's going to lead to bigger things and a hurricane came and hit where her wedding was supposed to be and her wedding got canceled and moved to the exact week i had off between the bachelor and becoming the bachelorette look at that and And so everything works out the way it's supposed to, even though, I'm so sorry to if anybody was affected by that hurricane. And I'm like, and it worked out so well for me.

100%. I'm like, yeah, hurricane came through and everything works out. I'm like, thank you, the universe. No, it was awful. No, yeah. But, yeah, but it really just took out where her wedding was going to be. Oh, wow. Yeah.

So it was crazy. And how did we get there? How did we just get to the weddings? You were asking. Oh, yeah. So I feel like, yeah, if that did. happened and I missed her wedding and I'm like I'm literally flying to Vancouver at the end of this month for her birthday like I wonder if we really wouldn't have been friends from because

weddings really do bring out some you know yeah that is a good thought yeah I don't know this is why I just don't get married hmm safer that way that's yeah I just don't have to like see my friends true colors this way it preserve it I got it it is stressful but I think we answered one wedding question once and then everybody was had like everybody's doing wedding so I think it's our audience to our audience is mostly like women like 25 to 45 so it's like that's like our that's but why would you have wedding advice just because you're smart i don't know i think they just want validation and i love that oh that's sweet or like a gay best friend yeah yes everybody wants a gay best friend and if they're listening

to the show we're instantly on your side um yeah yeah we're like i slept with the groomsman last night but i still want to get married you're like you mercury's in brett's birthday yeah go ahead bratt summer no i don't condone Let it be known. Brat Summer. We were talking about Brat Summer. I don't know what camera I'm even looking into. We were talking about Brat Summer before we got.

I didn't know what that was. And now I feel so stupid because I'm so bad at keeping up with pop culture and that kind of thing. And I know that Charlie, what is it, X, CX? Like I know some of her songs, but I didn't know her album was called Brat and then we're all having a Brat Summer. But now I'm down. Just in time for Brat Fall. Like what does a Brat Fall look like? Oh, God, good question.

Obviously pumpkin spice lattes, but like what it... Yeah, it would be like putting in cocaine in your pumpkin spice latte. Yeah, a little bump before the pumpkin spice latte. Yeah, a pumpkin spice latte. Oh, my. Trademark that. Trademark that right now. It's like a pumpkin spice latte with a little line on the top.

And then get to the caffeine. Wow. Oh, God. Yes, I think you just answered. Yeah, you just answered your own question. That right there is a brat girl fall. Okay, got it. I'm going to check it on you in October.

Just like, see that you good. Well, what is your relationship advice? Because I feel like you two kind of have got it figured out. Not perfect, of course. But you know what you're doing. I would say, well, it depends. But communication is key. And I'm not even great at it.

So I feel like that's like bad advice for me to be giving. But that's where the root of most issues. at least on my side. It's like communication, for sure. I think you sort of, like, really, like, like, the person you're with. You know what I mean? I think some people compromise too much on, like, difference of personalities. You're like, well, we should balance each other out.

It's like, yeah, but, like, at the end of the day, if you can't, like, only want to, like, not like I only want to hang out with you, but, like, we're always laughing. We are each other's best friend. I think that's so important. Yeah. Yeah, that's true. Did you guys go to summer camp growing up? Not an overnight camp, but I went to Camp Crystal Lake, actually, from Friday the 13th.

It wasn't the actual one, but. Crystal Lake, Illinois. I went to a camp that was there. Wait, where did you grow up? So I was born in Pennsylvania, and then I grew up for, like, the pivotal years, for 10 years between, like, kindergarten to high school, it was in Illinois. Oh, okay. And you grew up in Massachusetts. Okay. I'm trying to put pieces together. I love knowing where people are from and, like, like, what sign are you? We're both Aquarius. Aquarii.

Oh, my God, you both are? Yeah. Is that a good match? I don't know. I'm not into astrology. People are always, like, oh my god, two Aquarius, how are you doing it? And I'm like, I don't know. I don't know. Are you into astrology? Well, I always say I am, but then I don't know shit about shit. What are you?

Gemini. Okay. Oh, I could see it. Yeah. I don't know. No, Aquarius and Gemini's are very compatible. Really? I know that.

I know that. We're looking for a third. Oh, my God. I did. Oh, my God. Cruises together for life. I love it. That's, I, okay, so, sorry, back to the summer camp.

You did grow up going to summer camps or no. Kind of. Yeah, it wasn't like a typical like overnight summer camp, which is like kind of what our fictional camp on our podcast is. How did you come up with a fictional camp? I went to a summer camp. Oh. It was a church summer camp.

Oh my gosh. I was on a youth hip hop church dance team. Sick. I know. My group really religious, but we went to like a sleepaway camp. I loved it. I think we were really honestly that it came from like true Beverly Hills, the parent trap. That kind of can't be nostalgia.

Do you guys have a handshake? Do we need a hand shake? We need a hand shake. No, do you? But I know the one from the parent shop, not to brag. You do? Yeah. Oh, I should have learned it.

We could have done it as a TikTok or something. That would been fun. Damn. Okay, yeah, you guys need a handshake. Yeah, we definitely do. Why didn't we think about that? Oh my gosh. And then if your campers meet you out in public, they need to know the handshake.

To do it. Wait. I think our dream is to have, like, a sleepaway, like, moment with our campers. You have to. Yeah, like, they do those now. You just, like, rent a campground off season and then have, like, a whole podcasting event. I think it'd be amazing. Yeah.

It'd be really fun. That'd be really fun. I always get scared, though, at people's, like, boundaries once they start drinking and, like, do inside. I'm scared that they're going to, like, be a secret troll and kill me in my sleep. Yeah, and you just, you never know. It's a risk I'm willing to take. High risk, high reward. Yeah.

Because you don't get haters? Do you get haters? Yeah. You do? Well, most of them are, like, homophobic people. Oh, of course. You can't stop that. I have so many misogynistic women that hate on me just for being a woman.

But the algorithm feeds you what you engage with. So if you're so homophobic, why are you only getting gay men on your feed? It's like, that's how the internet works. That's weird. So you really must like it a little bit. That makes sense, though. Yeah, that's what, it's weird. Suppressed, maybe.

Yeah, I always wonder too, I'm like, aren't you embarrassed? Like, you're exposing yourself because if you're that mad, it just means like we need to dive into. that. Yeah, let's talk about it. Yeah, let's talk about it. I just looked down to my notes and saw that you like to eat coffee beans. I said this one time. Well, I think it's on our website maybe. I think that's why it keeps getting brought up. Well, because I like talking about guilty pleasures sometimes. I was trying to think about what my, my guilty pleasure is obviously wine, but like I am a big brother psychopath. I watch. live feeds and like I'm that's my guilty pleasure is watching live I'll like wake up

with the house guests in the morning and be like oh I wonder if they're having coffee yet like that's kind of nice though it's creepy as hell I guess I'm just watching them like I'm like oh I wonder that that person hasn't gone to the bathroom in a minute minute like are they constipated like I'm worried about them I get invested okay that's very invested so just if that makes you feel better you're eating coffee beans seems very chill compared to me yeah I have you ever it consumes like a roasted coffee. I don't snack on them by the fistful. Okay, fine.

Just take the chocolate off. I just suck the chocolate off and then I don't eat the bean. Why don't you just get the beans? Because then it doesn't have the coffee flavor. Oh. Yeah. Valid point. No, I like a little, like when I get an espresso martini and it comes with those three

silly little beans. Of course, the garnish. I'll have a little snack at the end. Yeah. If people aren't looking. If people are looking, I'm like, I'm not going to do it. You'll just talk about it after. Unless it's my third espresso martini,

then I'm going to do it. You're all hopped up on caffeine. I like the crunch. I like the flavor. It's hot in here. I'm getting pressure over here. I like it. It's a texture thing.

Hey, fair enough. And then your guilty pleasure is talking shit. Yeah. Yeah. Is that fine? Yes. I think we moved away from that too much. I think we all need to be honest with ourselves and just get into it.

What is your biggest like, what do you like to talk shit about? So I'm friends with everyone I still grew up with, like 15 years later. like I'm so close with all those people. And if one person we haven't spoken to in 10 years as a life update, the entire group chat is on fire dissecting every moment. This summer I was home and there was a really big like breakup from someone that we knew from a long time ago. And we sat down over martinis and we just really went into it for hours,

dissecting every possible what could have happened here. And Jonathan is so aware of these people that he's never met before because I know everything about it. I find them more interesting than celebrities. I don't care. I think who I like worked with that old Navy in 2014, like why she's getting divorced, that is my like lifeline. Ah, that's your big brother.

That's my big brother. Funny. Yeah. I wish I still had like a core group of girlfriends from high school that I could talk to. I have one but we like don't talk to anybody. But I feel like that would be really fascinating. Oh my God.

They would die to talk to you. Are you kidding me? You're like that you are the talk of the town, I'm sure. the one that got away. The one that got out of Leduc, Alberta. The Duke? I like that. Yeah, it's a very small town outside of Evanton,

and I always called it L.A. Ladoek, Alberta. Okay. Oh, I love. Yeah, I'm from L'A. Was that the right way? No. Nope.

There it is. Yeah. Liduclbara. Okay. I was part of L.A. Dance Academy. Okay. And I got out. Have you ever seen old school?

The movie Old School? A long time ago, yeah. I haven't seen it. Oh, there's this guy that comes in and he's the dean. and these guys are like in a frat and they're like hey didn't we lock you in a dumpster once and he was like yeah I got out that's me with Ladook

that's really bad not the dumpster yeah I got out everyone listening from Ladook right now like hey it's really nice it's not nice they know it's not nice it is get out it's my sister's still there she's probably like you Caitlin

she's raising a family there isn't your whole family still there? Yeah it's a piece of shit no I love Ladook I actually love it. Going back is so nostalgic for me. It's such a simple place. I love that I grew up there. I feel like it's like it's a special little dump.

Okay, let's talk about idols. Who's idol is Lana Del Rey? I think mine for sure. Yeah. I think mine for sure. I think we both like her. Yeah, but yours is. But she comes on tour and I'm on like the waiting list to get tickets immediately.

I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed with her. Yeah. And then you like Dolly Parton. I love Dolly. I love Dolly so much. I have a dolly tattoo. You do?

I don't have muscles, so don't look. Don't zoom in on that. But yeah, it's a dolly part and a rear view. I know. Really well done. Yeah, the artist is so talented. Oh, wow. Yeah, I got done like three years ago.

Oh, you are really, dolly's your church. You ever tattooed on you. Yeah. We went to Dollywood. We skimed Easter with our families one year and drove to Dollywood instead. Wait, have you been? No, and I should. You need to go.

I found her house on, I was on a boat, and somebody knew where she lived. And so we boated by her house, and it's on the water. And it has, like, massive blow-up palm trees in the backyard. And, like, it's so cute and tacky, but in, like, the best way. Yeah, and, like, such a dolly part. Yeah, yeah. I love Dolly. So that I really do need to go to Dollywood.

Yeah, is it worth it? I would say so. We went during COVID. So I was very, he was so fine with, like, getting on rides. And I was like, I'm not, there's too many people here. I just need to, like, walk around and do. Yeah, why did we do it? It's a huge.

It's a really. like really built up amusement park and that whole area is like a very like I don't know it's kind of like Vegas but a little bit more I'm sorry a little more we're trashy but it's like there's so many restaurants and it's just overstimulating in a crazy way yeah it's such a trip

I don't know if I'll go back for a long time the area felt like but the smoky mountains are beautiful the smoky mountains are beautiful beautiful but you I feel like that lines up like you people who like cruises would like Dollywood yeah yeah and the parking like they'll have like at Disney

it'll be like, oh, you're in, like, Pluto parking or Mickey Parting. We parked in Dolly's earrings. Like, they have, like, her whole closet is the parking lot. Wow. I guess I've never really thought about, like, obviously, I know she's an absolute icon legend, incredible, but I didn't really think, like, nobody's really done a Dollywood. Like, no celebrity's really done that.

It's like kept up. Yeah, and it's also in her hometown. So it's like in Pigeon Forge. Well, it's like one town over from where she went to high school. So she's just like really built up the economy. in the area because there really isn't a whole lot around she's big on giving back to isn't she huge i just donated to her i do a book club and so every book club zoom you have to pay to get in but all the money will go to a charity that like aligns with whatever book we're reading but that we

couldn't really think of any charity that aligned with the book we just read so we're like dolly yeah the imagination yeah the organization we are clearly not spokespeople i thought you were going to finish a sentence and I was hoping you would. I was like that, yes, that would. Dolly. No, I love Dolly. I just think she's just so wholesome and that like if an alien ever came to earth and wanted to meet one person, I feel like Dolly would be a bad representation of everybody,

but the best representation that I would hope for. Ah. Oh, that's a good way to. I think she's a very sweet, kind person. Is that what you'd say to her if you ever met her? See, I don't get starstruck easily. I really don't. Even if Dolly walked in right now.

But if Dolly, I feel like I would probably cry. Yeah. Oh. Yeah. Probably what. I probably wouldn't know what to do and just like start crying. That would just be me with Taylor Swift. It's so funny.

I've always liked Taylor Swift, like never a Swifty until recently, but I've always liked her. I met her one time, like, before she, oh, no, she was still Taylor Swift. But like, she's like, royalty now. Before the Eres tour, yeah. B. T. Oh my God, that took me way too long. But that's, I feel like I would cry if I met her because I feel like I have so many

the same beliefs as her. I feel like she is what I would like strive to be in an interview. Like everything that comes out of her mouth, I'm like, you are brilliant and a feminist and I love you. Yeah. I just love her. She's very media trained. I like Taylor Swift, yeah.

You're not Swifty though. No, I wouldn't say I'm a Swifty. I would say I'm a Taylor Swift fan though Yeah for sure I mean look at her career Yeah she had like the the re-up came We actually were at the VMAs when she announced Midnights

A couple years ago and that was 2022 And it was interesting because there wasn't a lot of fanfare for it When we were there Yeah I think her like her rise to like where she's at now Was like so sudden and so fast I think she didn't have that phantom Before and then now Obviously she had like a fandom Yeah of course right

But people weren't super gagged that Taylor Swift was at the VMAs that year. What happened? How did we get Taylor obsessed? What happened? She just started putting out a lot of good music really, really quickly. Yeah. That's what she was doing. She was pumping them out.

Because she kind of disappeared for a hot minute. And I think she was just probably writing and writing and writing. I wish I could do that. That's like my, in another lifetime, I have a few things I'll come back with. Hair. I'll come back with hair, not fucking sprouts. I will have the ability to. write lyrics like Taylor Swift and that just those two if I can do those two I'd be great

that's valid that's yeah and like maybe cure cancer that okay yeah that's a solid one to add those those three is how I'd want to come back in another lifetime and then my last question is I have a fear of raccoons and you got attacked by one and that I was just in Costa Rica filming something and during a serious moment a raccoon came up and there was snacks everywhere and I had to leave. Did he get the snacks? No, we all freaked out and then he'd turn the other way. He was like, my God.

I thought that it was an open table for everybody. Oh, no, a raccoon in the wild looking for food. Like, sorry. It's like, you guys all have snacks in your hand. I just want my chips away. God, I just wanted one half of the twigs. But what happened? Yeah, this was rather recently.

We were staying at an Airbnb and I was taking out the truck. trash. And when we had got there, the outside trash can against the fence had a rock on it. I thought because of the wind. But there was still a rock on top of it. It had just moved to like the back of the truck. It was like a hinge lid. So I open it at broad daylight. And a raccoon was in it? A raccoon was standing up. No. He had literally, I swear he had a gold tooth and he was wearing a fedora. I swear. And he hissed at me. Oh, why. And grabbed my shirt. No. Yeah, because I was leaning forward.

I was like fully prepared to open, dump the trash in there and like walk away. That's what you do, right? So I open it. I start leaning forward and he hises at me and I think I scared him. He scared me. I screamed, he hissed. And he literally grabbed my shirt. No, and did what?

And he started cursing me out. No, I don't. Well, then I don't know. Did he rip it off you? No, no. I slammed it shut because I was like, that could have been bad. I could have got bit. I did.

Did your rabies shot? Yeah. Did your rabies up to date? Should I? You should check. He didn't touch me physically. He just grabbed my shirt. God.

And he started to yelling at me. And then we quickly realized that he probably was stuck in there and he was. And it was hot. It was 90 degrees that day outside. So it was probably even hotter in there. So as much as he pissed me off, I was like, yeah, I saved him. It turned to a rescue mission. It's what Dolly would have done.

It did. It took a long time. I was so scared because I thought he was already pissed. And I heard him hiss and I saw his teeth that was scary. So I was like, if I knock it over, he's going to charge at me. And I don't know, rip my hair out. I just, I knocked it over. Well, it took a long time for us to get there.

I knocked it over. It got pinned against another trash can. Two gays with a giant, like a giant broom trying to push it over screaming. No, okay, two gays, yes, but you were. He was on the deck. He was filming this from the deck. I was on, I was at the front line myself. I could not be, I could not end that horrible week, that week before that with a, with a

raccoon. I said, I draw the line here. Okay, push it over, let him run. Oh, my God. And he, so he filmed it, and you can see the poor thing. He, like, rolled out of there, like, tumbled out, and he was so confused and, like, sweaty. I don't know if Raccoon sweat, but he did not run very fast. Oh, no.

I think he used the last of his energy to, like, grip. Now I'm thinking he's probably gripping my shirt for, like, to help. He's like, help me. I'm speaking in Raccoon-Lish. Oh, but you did. And I did. Yeah, I wonder if he's grateful. He better be.

I also assume all raccoons are men. Yeah, it could have been. We were just talking about this because he goes, when you eat fish, do you think it's a girl or a boy fish? And I'm like, never thought that in my life, Jonathan. Oh, my God. I'm like, was this girl fish, was this boy fish? I can't do that because I have to separate.

I didn't eat meat for five years. Okay, wait, I take it back. People get so mad and I don't call fish meat. I only ate fish for five years. I'm a pescatarian for almost 20 years. Really? Yeah. Okay, I was pescatarian.

And I went back to eating meat and people think I'm a monster. But I have to separate it. Like, that just made me want to go back to being pescatarian thinking if it's a boy or girl. I think about it a lot. Well, I guess if cows are girls, right? What about brown recluse spiders? Are they girls or boys? Death to them all.

Death to them all. That was so bad. Okay. So you had one in your place, too. We had one in our back. It was our first week of moving to New York two summers ago. And we were cleaning out the backyard. And it was Jonathan that got bit by one.

You got bit by a flesh-eating spider? Yes. Did it eat you? It was so bad. It was, and I should have gone to the hospital. And it was the week we did episode one of our podcast, because I was looking at it this morning, because we're doing our hundredth. And you can see, I have a scar on my leg, but I was wearing, like, short shorts in the first episode. And you can see it starting to get, like, even worse.

I try to keep it to myself, because I'm the type of person who I'm like, I'm like, no, it's, I'm so fine. Like, I don't need to go to hospital and take up a bed that someone else needs. Oh, my gosh. It was like, one of us living here. So he's like, I'm fine. It's like, what's fine? But I'm a sweaty person. He is not a sweaty person.

We went two blocks up to the grocery store to get groceries. And I look at him, I'm like, why are you pouring sweat? I've never seen his way like this. He's white. His thigh is black. It's turning into like a black circle around it. Yeah, it turned like the size of a baseball. And then like the area around it was like, it looked like a softball.

And I just let it go. What? That's my man. That's not what Dolly would do. No, it's not. I could feel my heartbeat in it, not to be gross. Oh, my gosh. Were you bit by one?

No, I just saw, I was in, I was making coffee and I just like looked to my right and there's just a massive brown recluse spider in my brand new house. And I was like, burn it. Burn the house down. The house. Burn it down. Tennessee, was that where it was? So I feel like it makes sense there in New York, not really.

That's true. I wouldn't think to find one in a backyard in Brooklyn. There's a lot of those in Tennessee. Yeah. Brooklyn not so much but that's yeah I can't believe it actually bit you it did on my leg when we were doing hard work it was I felt it too and I was like oh my me too thank you that's you are like I'm fine I don't need to go I the other day listen to this so I got an IV and I was like I'm I'll just you know get some hydration some vitamins back in the system after being in Costa Rica for so long

and this guy puts the needle in and sorry for anyone who has a needle phobia it popped out and he used the same needle to go back in. Oh, you're not supposed to do that? And then I'm sitting there and I hear gurgling noises. Like, I can't do it. I was going to try and do it. And I look and it's just like a little bit of liquid popping in, but mostly air. And it just kept being air.

And then I looked at the guy and he's like on his phone. And I go, this doesn't feel right. Like there's just air going in there. And he was like, oh, and then he came and put a compressor on the bag. And it was like more air. and then liquid and all of a sudden I feel like I'm having a heart attack and I start coughing and I can't get one breath without coughing and I'm trying to talk to him and I was like something isn't right and he goes I think you should just lay down and I'm like great this guy's trying to kill me I'm going to be on

a Netflix documentary so I text my girlfriend I said I need you to come over actually I said if I don't text me in 10 minutes if I don't answer like send help she goes I'm coming over right now so he wouldn't take my IV out I'm choking I'm like actually I think I'm going to have a panic attack or throw up. And he was like, just lay down. And literally, what I, he was like, I'll take your blood pressure and see her. And he brings a stethoscope over to my back. He goes, take a deep breath.

I go, I can't. Like, if I took any more than a shallow breath, I was coughing. So my girlfriend finally gets there. And she's like, take the IV out. And she used to be a nurse. And he takes it out. And I'm like panicking. I go to the bathroom thinking I'm going to throw up.

Then I start seeing. stars I come back I'm still choking coughing my chest feels so tight and we finally get him to leave the house because he was creeping me out and I call my other friend who has an IV business and he goes Caitlin that is like nurse IV 101 you don't let air get into the bag like you know what they call like yeah he goes they call it burping the bag he goes that can be fatal he goes I just want to tell you right now you're really lucky that you don't have a heart condition and that you're really healthy and he goes and if anything is not getting better it's just getting worse like you need to go to the hospital. And so then I'm like, great, now I'm really panicking. But I was getting

better. And so I went to bed that night, totally fine. Woke up the next day. I went to lay on the couch to watch a movie and started having like serious chest pains. And I had to go to the ER. I was in the ER the other night for seven and a half hours doing CT scans, EKGs, blood work, like all this stuff from a f***in IV. Oh, wait, how long ago was this? Was this like a week? Yes. Like five days ago. That's a lawsuit. That's crazy. Because that's,

you're in an IV. That's like, that's, like was an embolism or something? That's like a heart attack. You're out. It felt like I was having a heart attack. I honestly think he was trying to shut my body down.

Like he didn't, he probably knew what was happening and was like, I think you should just lay down. Okay. So he was like one of those IVs like after you drink or whatever. Yeah. They come to your house. So was,

was it just you? Yes. It was just me and him. And I had asked for a female. nurse because this guy had made me uncomfortable before. I had him before. Oh, you had him before? And I asked for a female. He's got to go. He's got to go. Write an email.

You got to write an email. Oh, I've been on emails and phone calls with the medical director of the place. Yeah, I'm like, because when I get that hospital bill, I'm going to be yeah, send it that way. That's on you. Anyways. Um, so LOL, that was fun. But I just like, what up to your brown reclue story? I'm like, yeah, we'll get a load of

this. That's crazy. That is awful. I said the last question was about the raccoon, but just one more. You were going on a stand-up tour. Tell me more. What are the, like, do you, have you done a tour before? Are you?

Yeah, I did a short tour this summer. I said like three shows in New York and two in Boston. Do you wear a wig? Yeah, I do characters in it too, and I do a full stand-up thing. Yeah, so I'm going to go on tour in. November and December of this year. Cool. Where can people, like, look up how to come? Nothing is fully

announced yet, but if you just keep an eye on my Instagram, Zachry Porter, I'm going to have a tour dates probably at the beginning of September, but it's going to be the whole country this time. And Jonathan's going to come with me. Oh, you are? Okay, good. So it's going to be very fun. Oh, my gosh. Are you going to make a little appearance on stage? I just might. Yes, he is. So, yeah, it's really

cool. It's kind of like the start of, like, not our, not our podcast touring, but us touring together. Next level of comedy together. He's funny. He's really good. Not to blow up your spot, but there is a reason you're doing it. Thank you. I feel like you're, like you know how to put it on. Like you're a performer.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You're like undercover funny. And when you're funny, you're funny. And you're kind of like just always casually funny. Yeah. Is that right?

Yeah. I think, yeah, that's exactly what it is. I think you're just at a standstill like just like, yeah, your level is just you're so quick and sunny. I'm not a stand so that's what I like to hear. No, I, you know what I mean. You're crazy. Yeah, you're not like here here.

You're just kind of here all the time. Yeah, I'm just. You're all. always funny. And when I'm, when I'm funny, it's like, oh, I'm turning it on to be funny. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's what we're saying. Look at you. You're in the middle for a reason, baby. That's why we had to turn the camera off is because you just kept looking at yourself. It was just all you. Okay, before I let you go, last but not least, I do this every podcast. It's confession time. Yeah. You got to tell an embarrassing story. Wait, I actually have one written down. I always write mine down because it doesn't happen very often. Oh, I have a good one.

Oh, it doesn't happen. Fucky. Well, it does. I've just run out of material because I'm at this point, I've told everything. Yeah. Yeah. For sure. Okay, I'll, I'll start with mine and get it out of the way just to warm you guys up.

So I was on a plane the other day and I hate. Whoa, you felt that. Yeah, I did. That hate was coming out. We all felt that. That's scary. I hate when people don't have headphones in and they're either like on speakerphone with somebody or they're listening to something or watching something. I'm like, so what I do.

did was I wrote in my notes app I said please put your headphones in whoever this is um there's other people on the plane like I was like in a mood screenshot put on whoever's airdrop was on I just sent it out to all just in case yeah well guess what I found out what my C number was at the top of my screen from the app being open so it said to see that's hysterical that you got called That's so funny. There's three people it went out to, and it had my seat number right at the top. That is, that's funny. You got got got.

It could have been so much worse, but that, hey, I'm embarrassed for you. But let me tell you, the sound went off. Oh, that's good. That's good. That's what you had to do. Yeah, you found out who it was. You said it with your desk. Well, that should have been on in the first place.

I should have just said it nicely, but I was like, they'll never know who it is. It's like, two C at the top. That's so funny. So embarrassing. Okay, now you go. do you want to go um yeah the story that always comes to my mind i have i have ibs i'm i'm a bad stomach girlie yeah and um one time i was at the club years ago and i had to go the bathroom and that's never ideal like i'm not trying to shit at the club yeah no thanks but i i had to yeah

yeah go do you go i went in there and people are drunk and it was an empty bathroom and all of a sudden these four really macho men come in there and they go who's shitting at the club And they're hitting the side of the stall with their fists. The most vulnerable I have ever been in my entire life. And I always think to myself, I was like, I didn't want to be here. I made a bad choice. I should not have had a cassidia before coming out. And eventually, I was like, if I just stay in here, they'll leave.

And they did. They left me. I was good to say, how did it end? Oh, my God. It was like hazing. Imagine the whole stall is shaking. Who's shitting at the club? And they're hitting it because they're just drunk guys.

You're like, I don't want to be in here. Yeah, you're like, you think I, like, this is a choice? You think I'm enjoying this? It's an emergency. You're like gripping the walls. You're like, stop it, stop it. That's one of my most embarrassing moments. Oh, I'm so glad you didn't have to face them, though, because...

Yeah, I didn't. I had to face a woman in the airport, and she, I'm pretty sure she knew who I was. She, like, smiled really big when I came out of the stall at me. And then she went in and immediately came out after. I was like, I'm sorry. You're like, no, that wasn't me? There was someone in there before. Yeah.

You're like, that was bad, wasn't it? Definitely present before me. Absolutely, not me. I just wash my hands and got the hell out of there. At least you washed your hands. Yeah, I had to. I didn't want to, but I had to. Wash your hands of the situation.

Yeah. Okay, so my story, I'll keep it short. I'll keep it brief. I went to film school. Yeah. And I was on a film set doing, like, production work. And one of the girls from Orange is the New Black was there. She, okay, okay, I'm just trying to not say.

so I'm sitting in like an office chair like a swivel chair right and we're like taking a break from filming so she comes over and it was my second day on set and my first time being in the room with her and she was working on the production side of things too don't know if I should say that but she goes to she leans in and I'm like oh my god love this environment I gave her a big old hug realize she's reaching around me for a stack of papers that are on the shelf behind me. So that's one of the things that like when I can't fall asleep at night that I think of. That you shudder? Yeah. I haven't seen the movie either that ended up coming

out. I was like I can't watch that. It just has like an awful stain on it for me. Oh that's yeah that's a bad one. I mean it's that's one of the worst. The embarrassment like sometimes I embarrass I don't get embarrassed easily but sometimes I'm the most embarrassed when it's just me like if I trip and fall like by myself I'm like I'm embarrassed like in front of myself I don't know why

that's silly it's so funny it's silly it's like anything can happen publicly but no it's when you're home alone yeah that's my own shit that's funny yeah but that is I hate that when like somebody waves and then you wave but it's the person behind you like we've all had that but that's 10 times worse Thank you for sharing. You're welcome. I feel vulnerable. Well, let's switch it up and tell everybody where they can find your podcast and you guys on Instagram. So our podcast is called Camp Councers Podcast.

You can find it anywhere on YouTube, anywhere that podcasts are found. And then I'm Zachari Porter on all Instagram and socials. And I'm Jonathan Carson at Hello. My Name's John on most social media, but just Jonathan Carson. Jonathan Carson. Those are two strong names, too. Thank you. A lot of syllables.

Yeah, a lot of syllables. The full podcast title is Cam Counselors with Zachariah Porter and Jonathan Carson. Yeah, that's a lot. There's a lot. Give up a number of a full name. We love it. Keep it full. Yeah, what would you do if somebody called you Zach?

That's fine. But at the end of the day, it's always Zachariah. Okay. I like Zachariah. It's good. It's good. Thank you guys so much for coming on the pod today. Thanks for having us.

I'm Caitlin Bristow. I'll see you next Tuesday. See your next Tuesday. Thank you. Thank you.