Office Ladies - Boom! Roasted!

Episode Date: July 22, 2026

This week on Office Ladies 6.0, Jenna and Angela dig into “The Roast of Michael Scott” from Stress Relief Part 2 and unpack all the comedy that didn’t make it to air. The ladies dig into The Office Candy Bags to reveal hilarious alternate roast jokes, extended scenes, and never-before-heard burns for nearly every member of the office, including some absolutely savage material for Michael Scott. Along the way, they answer fan questions about “white noise” and the origin of the iconic Dunder Mifflin logo, and share a few delightful Around the Town stories. So practice your finger guns and “ba dump bumps” and… Boom! Roasted!Office Ladies Website - Submit a fan question for Around the Town, Chit Chat, and Second Drink favorite moment: https://officeladies.com/submitaquestion Follow Us on Instagram: OfficeLadiesPodFollow Us on YouTubeFollow Us on TikTok

I'm Jenna Fisher and I'm Angela Kinsey. We were on The Office together and we're best friends. And now we're doing the ultimate Office Lovers podcast just for you. Each week we will dive deeper into the world of the office with exclusive interviews behind the scenes details and lots of BFF stories. We're the Office Lady 6.0. Hello. I just want to tell you something.

I'm not sure if you realize this. It looks like you still have an imprint of maybe your pillowcase. Did you sleep really hard last night? Yes, I did. I mean, I know you were tired because you were texting me at like almost 11 o'clock, which is so late for you. So late for me. I was in bed, lights off.

I'm like, what's happening? What's Jenna? That's a role reversal. I know, right? That never happens. You're the late night texter. Well, you know, everybody, you're going to be listening to this in July. Hi, July.

Hi, July. But we're recording this back in June. And it's the last week of school for our kids. Exactly. You know how that is. Yeah. And last night was the sixth grade graduation party. At my kid's school, they do a sixth grade graduation and a 12th grade graduation.

So elementary school is K through sixth. Same. Yeah. Eighth grade gets nothing. That's right. Sorry, eighth grade. You know, my sister's kids, they go K through eighth. So they have a big eighth grade graduation.

Right, right. We have sixth grade and twelfth grade. Yeah. And let me tell you who parties hard. It is. Sixth grade moms who made it through elementary school. God bless you, six grade moms. This one mom, oh my gosh, we're so grateful to her.

She opened up her house, her backyard. She had all the families there. So it was like, I mean, I don't even know how many people that was. Oh, I always worry about the bathrooms. That's a lot of people using your bathroom. Yeah, it is. Sorry, I didn't mean to get off on that. Continue.

But they put out a dance floor on the lawn and there was a DJ. And there were a set of songs that were clearly for the moms. Like the kids cleared off the floor. Wait. Wait. I'm track and run DMC. I was going to say, you know, it was like a good time. Can I tell you at ours, the one that all the moms showed up for was, come on, Eileen. It was such a moment in time. Yes, yes. But there was this one part where the DJ's like, all right, get down low, get down low. And I got down low. But did you get back up? This, I did not plan ahead. I did get up.

I did, but it was real, like, creaky and slow. But all of that is to say, yeah, I mean, I got home at 10.30, that's not even late. But I was so fired up. I couldn't fall asleep until, like, one. So I'm hard today. I think getting home at 10.30 is late. I mean, I usually go to bed at 9 o'clock. I know.

I know, because now I don't text you after 9. Yeah. Because I know she tie-tie. I mean, I'm grouchy if you text me at 8 because I'm like, do not fire up my brain. I won't make it. She's not going to make it. Anyway, sorry, that got me so tickled. We have such a fun episode today, guys.

We do. I mean, like, I'm really excited about it. I'm really excited. And it was a absolute blast to revisit this. Today's episode was inspired by us finding our stress relief part two candy bag alts for Michael's roast. We're calling this one. Boom roasted.

Boom roasted. You guys will not believe how much was in the candy bag alts for this episode. I just want to loop you in. Are you ready for this? I'm going to throw some numbers at you. Great.

The overall stress relief main candy bag document was 320 pages. The candy bags, just for the scenes and talking heads for the roast, is 207 pages. And the candy bags just solely for alternate roast jokes

is 40 pages. I mean, that is so nuts. It is nuts. Well, we thought it would be fun to dig into those. And we also watched the superfan episode of Stress Relief Part 2. And I found this Jim Talking Head that was added back to the episode. And in this talking head, Jim is kind of summing up how he thinks their roast is going to go. And I think it's also going to apply to our podcast.

Let's hear it. To quote Michael, this will be like shooting fish in a barbell. Yeah. Fish in a barbell. Fish in a barbell. That's one of Michael's mangleds. Exactly. Exactly.

This episode I feel like is going to be like shooting fish in a barrel because we have read these candy bag alts and they are so great. But also there is a good chance we're going to mangle something because I am very tired and you are you. And so it might be like shooting fish in a box. Excuse me? You get a pass for being tired and I just walk in every day, a fucking hot mess. How dare you?

I know exactly what you met by that too. Sorry. I'm sorry, I'm so tired. You too, too, I'm sorry. So when Jenna's tired, you get the truth serum. I have no edit button today. I'm too tired. Okay.

But don't you think? No, I'm not going to label myself an everyday hot mess. No, not a hot mess, but a mangled worder. Oh, yes, yes. See? Yes. Yes. A mangled worder.

That's right. I might mangle some words today because I'm really tired. And you might mangle some words today because you are you. Right. That's just an Angela Kinsey. Just an Angela special. Okay, fine. Okay, fine.

Now I see where you were going. You saw where I was going. Okay. All right. But first, oh, speaking of sleeping, our chit-chat suggestion. It's coming in from Lily D in Mobile, Alabama. Let's hear it. Hi, office ladies.

My name is Lily. I'm from Mobile, Alabama. And my question for you today is, do you sleep in silence or do you sleep with white noise? I'm a youth minister. And recently, I had an overnight event with my students. And they made so much fun of me for listening to white noise. And so I'm curious if you sleep in silence or with white noise. thank you guys so much for taking the time to answer my question. And I just want to say I've been a listener from the very beginning and I just love you guys so much. Thank you. Lily, thank you so much. We love your right back. Lily, did you get any sleep that night when you did that sleepover? I mean, I've done a youth retreat. I mean, when I was younger, it can be a little bit of mayhem. Well, I always wonder, how are the adults sleeping, like on these field trips and on these like sleepover events?

I know, especially if you're in a room with a bunch of bunks and a bunch of kids all like hopped up. Exactly. Just excitement because they're away. Mm-hmm. Yeah. I mean, I know my answer to this guys right away. Well, yeah, I know mine too. I need silence.

Silence. Silence. I one time was like, no white noise. No white noise. And it's a little tricky because Josh needs green noise. What's green noise? I don't know what's an app he has. It's like green noise.

And so green noise. I've never heard of. You're nodding. What is green noise? Green noise. Okay, I believe, because I listen to 432 hertz, which is the delta brainwaves. It's the hertz that your brainwaves function on for eight hours on YouTube. That's what I sleep to.

Whoa. I think green noise is similar to that. Okay. Well, I hadn't heard of it, but he, like, read up on, like, because he went through a phase where he just was having some insomnia. Mm-hmm. So this green noise, he plays it. And I can't really hear it.

it's fine. Like, I don't even know what the sound is, but it doesn't really bother me. But I kind of need to go to sleep before he turns it on. Does that make sense? And then it's playing and I'm fine. Otherwise, I like silence. And if I go to your house, if you're so nice and say, hey, Ange, you're visiting. Here's my guest room.

I'm going to have to walk through that guest room. And I'm going to have to look for any lights. If you have like an outlet that has a little green flashy light, I'm going to be covering it with something. Yep. And then if you have like, a cute little alarm clock that has a little... My parents have that in both of their guest rooms. I have to unplug it or take the batteries out.

Same. I feel bad because the last time I was at my parents' house, I went into the guest bedroom to, like, lay down and take a nap. Yeah. And I hid the clock, the ticking clock, like under the bed and I forgot to put it back. They're probably like, where's my bedside clock? I've done that. I've like rolled it up and like a sheet and put it in a drawer.

Exactly. Okay. So yeah, I need silence. I do like to sleep with a window open, though. So whatever's going on outside just kind of becomes like my white noise, I think. Like whatever, you know, birds chirping. Sam, can you play some of this green noise for us? I absolutely can.

Okay. Oh, my God. My body is having a response to this sound. In a good way? In a good way. Like I... So it's supposed... This is 250 hertz, which is supposed to be calming and relieving.

Oh my God. Am I in a womb? Am I on a plane? To me, it's like I either am hearing the ocean or I'm on a plane. That's interesting. You say the womb, that's what it's supposed to emulate the sound of like blight around you and being inside the womb. We're in a womb. Cozy.

That's what we're recording from today. Wow. Okay. Interesting. Maybe I'll try it. Yeah. Well, my answer is that I need a lot of things to sleep. I need white noise.

This is not surprising. The lady loves a list. I need white noise. I need blackout curtains. This was my favorite thing about Japan was that the curtains in all the hotel rooms overlapped. They didn't just stop when they got to the middle and then you had to pile pillows up so that you didn't have something seeping through. You would really like Iceland because they get so much daylight at different times of the year that they do not mess around.

With their curtains. Yeah. Yeah. So I need blackout curtains. I don't understand people who like just. have like sort of sheer curtains on their windows? I don't understand it. It's confusing to me.

In a bedroom. Fine. Fine. You want to have them in like a living room so you get some light. Can I ask what temperature you require your bedroom to be? 71 degrees. Okay. I like my bedroom cold.

I know. Same here. Cold and cold with lots of blankets is the correct answer, right? Me too. Like a weighted blanket. Yes. So I definitely sleep with white noise lily. I also sleep with an eye.

mask on just in case we have any failure of said curtains. I also sleep with special earplugs that I did a bunch of research about and they are actually phenomenal. I read them on like a Christmas list for things to get people who are hard to shop for and I bought them for myself. And I love them and a fan. I have to have a fan blowing on me for my hot flashes. We have traveled together many times now over these years. And one of my favorite things is I forget where we were, but we had a hotel room that had the little connectie door. Yeah. And I was like fully showered, had done my hair, was doing my makeup,

and you came through the connectie door with your eye mask on your forehead. I think one of your earplugs in your hand, very discombobulated because you had overslept your alarm. And I was almost ready to walk out the door. You're like, but I would think, lady, how do you hear your alarm? I hear it. You hear it through the ear plugs and the noise and all the things. Yeah. Okay. Well, well, you did it in that morning. I guess not. Lily, I love that question. I love these little slice of live shares. I think they're so fun.

I love our new format for Office Ladies. I was thinking about it and just how much I love it because of how much it involves getting to hear from people. Yes. It's sort of a call back to the very beginning of Office Ladies where people would call in and read the summary, remember? Oh, yeah. And we loved that. We did. So here we are. Well, listen, we're going to take a break, and then we are going to get into Boom Roasted. Well, we are back, and before we dig into all of the additional roasting from this episode, I want us to remember Michael's expectations for this roast. Yeah. Because he has a lot of expectations for how the roast is going to go.

In rewatching this episode, I was so excited to find that there was an extended scene between Michael and Daryl. You might remember, before the roast, he goes down to the warehouse, to talk to Daryl. He wants to talk about what is the stage going to look like? What kind of chair is he going to have?

It's this amazing scene and it was all expanded for the super fan. I think we need to hear it. So that's the stage. Yes. All right, yeah. You know, that'll work.

That'll work for my roast. Supposed to be working as a warehouse. Well, this is all about morale, Daryl. I will need a big chair, a comfy chair, like a throne for the man of honor.

And I think all the other roasters should be up here on stage as well. Everyone's on the stage? Yeah, like a Comedy Central roast. Who's in the audience? The audience will be in the audience. We'll charge $10 a head. Charge who? We'll need alcohol because that's very important for a roast.

You need to get people drunk. And you need something to spit. You're going to be spitting in here? Spit takes, yes. I'll be doing some spit takes. If it's funny enough, or I will do finger guns or, right? Sammy Davis Jr. move, but you know that. Or I will double over, or I will do the point.

Like, oh, you got me. What? I got your big picture you wanted. No, no, no, no. I need a big picture. Something cover the whole back of the dais. I have to go to the printer. We'll go, please.

Oh, and get me a drum and a symbol. I want to do ba-dum-pumps. Rim shots. No, badump bumps. Technical term is rim shots. By the way, he was watching the roast. He does all those things. He does, obviously, the bad-dump, but he does finger guns.

He does them all. Mm-hmm. It's amazing. I am really realizing, though, that but um-dumps. Butop-dumps is something I'd probably say is making me think of like when we first started rewatching the office when I would call the shot through the blinds, the peep shot. The peep shot. And you're like, you mean the spy shot. Well, it's just that we called it a spy shot.

I know. It's what I think the true term, not the peep shot. All right, you guys, now it's time to dive into the candy bag alts. Oh, it's so good. We thought we would start right before the roast begins with some talking heads that really set the tone for how people in the office felt about the roast and how hard they were going to go at Michael. I'm going to kick us off with a candy bag alt for Angela Martin. Angela would have said, I wish I thought of writing down every problem I have with Michael for the last five years. Angela pretends to find a notebook, which she holds up.

Oh, wait a minute. And she points to it. She has been keeping a journal of every time Michael has pissed her off. It's pretty amazing. Well, Andy had some real gems, too. Here is one of his talking heads. Andy was going to say, every now and then,

you got to just take the gloves off and really rip into someone. For the Bernards, that's traditionally been on Thanksgiving. So this will be a nice test run. Can you imagine Thanksgiving at Andy Bernard's parents' house? I cannot. How many jabs they throw at him? Oh, my gosh.

All right, here's one from Kevin. Kevin would have said, Michael letting us tell him how much he sucks is probably the coolest thing he's ever done. He set up a PA system and everything. And lastly, here is one from Oscar that really paints a picture. I mean, Michael has no idea what he's in for. Oscar would have said, as an accountant, it's my duty to measure the value of roasting Michael against the potential of getting fired,

but as a man, I have no choice but to destroy him. Destroy him. Destroy him. Destroy. Oh, and if you think the roasts that made it into the actual episode were rough on Michael, just wait until you hear the alts, OMG. But, guys, it's time for the roast. Michael is so excited to get it started.

This is going to take a turn very quickly, but let's hear his opening speech just full of enthusiasm. Welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome. You are all jerks. Just kidding. Not yet anyway. Welcome to the roast of Mr. Michael Scott. If you're here for the Grabowski wedding,

it is the second door on the left. So we all know how these work. Needs to get crazy. Take your best shot. I am going to sit right over a chair. And whoever wants to come up and roast me, you may. Okay. Well, Angela, you are first up.

Oh, yeah. I charged the stage. Yes. And dare I say, I think it's the best roast. No. I really do. I really, really do. And I didn't see it coming, you know?

Like, I think as a fan of the show, you don't necessarily think that Angela is going to be a really good roaster. But she is. She's going to roast him like a la Jeff Foxworthy style. That's how it's described in the script. It says Angela does a very bland Jeff Foxworthy. And something I feel like we should share with people is that the super fan episode does not have a bunch of extra roast stuff in it.

That's right. Even though we filmed a bunch, there's only two characters. We'll get to them where they're extended. Yes. So this is Angela's Roast of Michael. If you ever wondered whether you were Michael Scott, here's a quiz to help.

If you ever put sunblock on a window, you might be Michael Scott. If you ever called the fire department because your head was stuck in your chair, you might be... Michael Scott. I thought those were very good, and they were also, like,

they weren't too mean, but they were true. And, you know, I remember some of the direction the director Jeff Blitz gave me was, after the first one goes well, the second one, he was like, why don't you just like take the mic off the stand and start strutting around? You know, like you're really,

She's really filling herself. Yeah. Well, Angela had a few more Jeff Foxworthy-style jokes in the alts. Angela, will you read them? They make my day. Sure. If you've ever frozen your hand to your car because you were washing it in the winter, then you might be Michael Scott.

If you've ever conned a publicly traded corporation into letting you run a branch, you might be Michael Scott. If you think the military draft and the football draft are the same. thing you might be Michael Scott so good well next up is Kelly and here's what made it into the superfan episode I have made a list of people that I would make out with before I would make out with Michael Scott a turtle a fridge anybody from the warehouse a wood chipper Kevin a candle and Lord Voldemort anyway happy birthday Michael yeah you'd be so lucky So are you ready for some crazy alts?

Okay. First of all, in the candy bag, not only does Kelly roast Michael, but then she turns on her co-workers and singles a few people out. Let's start with the alts for her Michael roast. Kelly would have said, they say a good boss sweats the details. Michael is just really sweaty. Seriously, you guys, it's gross. And another one?

We've made a lot of fun of Michael tonight, but I'd actually like to bring up. propose a toast, and she holds up her glass. Few people in this world are as smart or as funny or as good-hearted as Michael Scott thinks he is. So let's all toast this dumb, corny prick. Oh my God. But are you ready for what she said about Pam? Okay, I remember these because I think we shot some of these. They are not in the super fan episode, but I remember them because Kelly loves to take on Pam.

Mm-hmm. Here we go. Kelly would have said about Pam. Pam, if it weren't for you, I'd definitely be the prettiest girl in this office hands down. And I really wish I didn't always get that competitive vibe from you. The truth is, if I won a gym, I could have had him. So get over it. And then she turns to the crowd and goes, you guys can laugh anytime you want. That's what I mean. I feel like I remember that. Well, everyone, now get ready because it's Meredith's turn. Let's hear what. made it into the episode. Michael? You ran over me with your car. You posted a picture of my bare boobs on the bulletin board

with a caption that said, gross. Well. Michael, you are the reason I drink. You are the reason I live to forget. That's one of the ones where he does his finger. His finger guns. Yes, he also does the drum.

in that one. All right, well, here is Meredith's crazy alt. Buckle in, it gets dark, folks. Meredith says, you're the reason I live to forget. You're the reason I go to a gun range to blow off steam. You, Michael Scott, are the reason why I capture small rodents and torture them. Those poor rodents, what did they do? Oh, my gosh.

I mean, what? What? What? That's dark. It's very dark. Very, very intense. But wait, and I remember this from the day. Meredith also had roasts for her other co-workers, including Jim and Pam.

I remember this, that there was this like sort of alt storyline where for whatever reason people pile on Jim and Pam during this rose. So Meredith would have said, Pam and Jim think they are so cute. Guess what? You didn't invent humping. Get over yourself. That's funny. Okay, next up is Oscar, and his roast is extended. Okay, it's one of the ones that got extra footage in the superfan version.

I want you to hear it. The only man in the state of Pennsylvania who is less likely to get legally married than me is Michael Scott. Michael is so bad with money. He invested in Enron. Last week. That was privileged. He thinks balancing a checkbook is putting a checkbook on his nose. and shouting, look at me, look at me!

Me da'ne out of every day that I despiato and I have to come to work, for you. For you. Okay, so he really goes at him. But there was so much more in the candy bag alts. Oscar actually might have had the most alts next to Pam. Lady, there's so many. I think we each share a few. Okay.

All right, I'll go first. Oscar would have said, Michael loves jokes. Here's a joke for you. Michael is smart. Oscar would have said, I'd say Michael was as dumb as a rock, but rocks are able to go a whole day without telling a dumb joke. Rocks don't make you sit through meetings about how we're having too many meetings. Rocks don't have parties to celebrate National Pharmacist's Day. And here's two more.

Oscar would have said, Michael, what's the difference between you and a car alarm? At least a car alarm has a purpose. Oh. Or remember when I briefly convinced you that math, was spelled M-A-F-F, worst day of my life. Was he walking around saying math? Probably. And Oscar, like Kelly and Meredith, also turns on his co-workers in the room.

Oscar would have said this. You hear a lot of phrases these days. Layoffs, price at the pump, sinkhole, but enough about Meredith. Mm-hmm. And then he turns on Angela. Listen to this one. He said, what do Dwight and Andy and Alon have in common? Angela has hosed all of them.

What the hell, Oscar? Geez. Well, now Toby tries to come up to roast Michael, but Michael screams at him. He says, no, friends only, friends only. So we never get to hear what Toby might have said, but guess what? They did write some jokes in the candy bag alts for Toby. And the thing that is so amazing to me about that is that I know they never had any intention of letting Toby get up on stage to Rose Michael.

No. Never. But the writers could not stop themselves from writing Roses from Toby's perspective anyway. Oh, yeah. They actually wrote Alt Rose for every character on the show. We are actually just going by the ones that actually had moments coming up to stage,

but there was so much stuff for, like, everybody. There was like this whole weird list of alt jokes where Phyllis gets on stage and roast Stanley. Yes, she singles out Stanley. For like an entire page. I know. Craziness. Okay, so here is what Toby might have said

if he had a chance to roast Michael. They say the ice caps are melting and that polar bears are endangered, also endangered all of us from radon poisoning because Michael doesn't believe it's a serious threat. This radon runner is one of my absolute favorite things of the entire show. Same.

I love his obsession with the radon poisoning. Toby also had this alt. It's important to remember that Michael was not always the incompetent manager he is today. He used to be an incompetent salesman. Now it's Jim's turn, and I want to read you how it's set up in the shooting draft. It says, Jim comes up and puts a large diagram on an easel. It shows an outline of a man's body with arrows pointing to various body parts. his roast and the superfan is much longer than what originally aired.

I want you guys to hear it. These are actually injuries that Michael has had, starting off with repeated burnt tongue from over-eager Pop-Tart consumption, a torn ACL from trying to hurdle Angela one day, bruised testy, same scenario, you burned your foot on a foreman grill. These are just a few things that have been caught in Michael's zipper. His finger, a sandwich.

Kevin's finger, trying to remove that sandwich. Big question mark. That would stand for a list of contents that are in Michael's stomach that we know of. A pound of chewing gum. Two peach pits. At least five keys from the Houdini Magic Handcuff set. Oh, his new favorite are these new edible M&M wrappers. but they're not edible because it was an internet hoax.

What else? Well, several times a day, Michael says words that are way beyond my vocabulary. I know where this is going. Do you? No. Okay. Remember spider face? No.

Okay, because the quote was, cut off your nose to spider face. Spiter, okay. Yep. So the alts for Jim were just more and more speeches like that, just more and more things. and it was so long, but we thought just playing the extended clip would give you an idea. Well, next up, Dwight gets very upset. He goes up on stage. He's going to defend Michael.

Yeah. But Michael and him end up getting into a fight, and then Dwight inadvertently ross him by calling him a pathetic short little man that doesn't have any friends or family or any land. And guess what? There were no alts for that. None. No. I think this was a very important plot. point that you see Dwight, like, turn on Michael?

Mm-hmm. Because it's really, like, now Michael is, like, kind of without a defender or any friends, like, truly in this ring. Yeah. He's solo. Yeah. He's totally alone up there. And then it's Pam's turn. Oh, my goodness, lady. Pam is going to tie with Oscar for Best Snarky Ross in the Candy Bag Alts. First, let's hear, but made it into the actual episode. Well, I just want to take a minute to talk to you all about something very serious. Once every hour, someone is involved in an internet scam.

That man is Michael Scott. He's supporting about 20 Nigerian princesses. Hey, you know what? Forgive me for caring, right? Well, you know, Michael is a great delegator. He never does any work himself, ever. Ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha.

And one time I walked in on him naked, and his thing is so small. How small is it? If it were an iPod, it would be a shuffle. Oh, I know. She went there. She went there. Can I say one thing?

What? Since I am Michael's mingled phrases of this duo, you are Michael's internet scam person. You have, over the course of our friendship, fallen for several internet scams. Sam knows it as well. Including our anagram test that I made everybody take. Where we paid $1.95 and then we found out that we were secretly charged.

We were secretly entered into a subscription for $45 a month. I'm so sorry. It did seem too good to be true. It was truly perfect. It took a full day before it debited out of my account. Anyway, okay. You're right. Right. So we are the perfect duo, lady.

You know what I also did? My daughter came to me, what was it? She wanted a jelly cat. Oh, you were so excited. I saw this whole journey. Because first you were like, Ange, these jelly cats are on sale. But only for the next hour. Like, I had to quickly, like, log on, and I'm so excited because we got these jelly cats. Yes. And so, like, I went on and I, like, I entered my credit card information. And then it said something, and it needed a different credit card. I'm like, ah! So I'm like, I'm in a rush. I entered three credit cards. You guys, basically, you gave out. It got all my credit cards. And you had to cancel all my credit cards. And the way we found out was the next morning, my daughter was like, Mom, the sale is still going on.

And you're like, but I thought it was only an hour. I'm like, when I went on the website, there was like a countdown clock. And I was like, wait. And I went back and it was the same countdown clock. Yeah. Lady, it gets worse. Yeah. You think it can't get worse. I texted that link to the mom chat.

I was like, guys, jelly cats are sale for an hour. So you got me and Sam and Matt in an internet scam and the mom text thread. And the mom text thread. And so that morning I was like, oh my God, I hope no one ordered any jelly cats. Guess what? It's a scam. They're not actually selling jelly cats for $15. They're just fishing for your credit card information.

And they were like, it's okay. We didn't order any. But thanks for like, no. Oh, my God. Now you know why we had to dance so hard last night. We've been through a lot. You've been through a lot together. Anyway, I'm just saying we both are sides of Michael.

This is true. This is very true. But back to Pam, you have to share some of Pam's roast alts for Michael, Jenna. She does have some good roast alts. Okay. here they are. Michael is so dumb that Kevin thinks he's dumb. Michael Scott is to comedy as Angela is to comedy. Hey. I know. All right. How about this one? No one in the office spends more time with Michael than I do. Anyone up for tradeses? Michael doesn't wash his hands after he pees. On many occasions,

I've watched him go right from the bathroom into his office to eat a sandwich. Michael is a piss eater, everyone. Someone else doesn't wash their hands sometimes. Hey, I don't touch my business when I pee. And then you don't eat after you pee. Thank you. And then this one, what's the difference between a hockey mom and Michael Scott? A hockey mom has children.

Too mean, too far. How about this one? Scientists say that a man who stares at boobs for 10 minutes a day can add many years to his life. So by my count, Michael will live to about 307. What did he call him Pam and her Pam? Pam. Pam and her Pam. So many. So many. So many things. All right, you guys. But then Pam is going to roast the room. And she goes scorched earth on her coworkers. Yeah. Listen to these alts. Pam would have said, I'm not sure any of you know this, but Andy Bernard went to Cornell, where he majored in never shutting up about Cornell.

If Cornell is so freaking good, what the hell are you doing in Dunder Mifflin? Most of us got here without any community college. Hey, Andy, can you sing tenor? Ten or twelve miles away from here? Wow. And then she would have turned on Toby. Pam would have said, Toby, Scarborough Fair is depressing enough, but having to hear you hum it over and over every day is about as fun as your Costa Rica pictures.

Oh, Toby would not have recovered. No. And then Pam just really. opens up. She would have said, hey, Michael, what's with the world's best boss mug? You don't see Meredith with a mug that says virgin. You don't see Jim with humble. Or Kelly with fascinating. Or Kevin with genius. Or Creed with normal. Or the entire office with a mug that says, this place doesn't suck. Okay. That one actually really made me laugh. I just have to point out, does Pam actually think Jim is a little smudge? Yeah. I think so. All right. Well, next up is Daryl. And rather than roasting Michael, he asked him if he can name one of the warehouse workers who is sitting in the back of the room. And Michael cannot. Even though said warehouse guy gave him a ride home the week before and they spent an hour in traffic.

Yeah. And as it turns out, the guy's name was Michael. Yes. Super cringy. But Daryl did have a few roast alts. Here are too. Daryl would have said, here's a list of all the song parodies Michael has asked me to work on with him. Pour some sugar on meat. Born in East L.A., I had to tell him that already existed. I want to hold your boobs. My fart will go on, the fart of rock and roll, boner of a lonely fart. Every time you go away, you take a piece of pee with poo. Wow. Yeah. Michael really loves a song where he can work in the word fart. He really does. Here's another one.

Daryl would have said, Michael's in pretty good shape, but I guess it's easy to get to the gym when you don't have any friends, family, or people who don't want to choke your ass out. Michael's the only person on Micepace that Tom won't be friends with. Wow, a Micepace joke. I mean, people really are going at him for being like no friend, no kids.

I know. It's rough. It's really rough. Well, after Daryl, Oscar comes back up onto stage and he has Jan on speakerphone and she just roast the heck out of Michael. We played that clip in our original breakdown, but basically she says you ruined my life. Everything you touch turns to crap. You have no sense of how to please any woman. I can't believe you wrote a phone message on my diploma and you use my daughter's christening gown as a bib when you ate ribs.

You are just completely an ass, Michael. And then I shared one of my favorite candy bag alts for this when we first broke this down. but there were so many more, I have to read you two of Jan's alts. One, Michael stole my soul and used it as toilet paper. So dramatic. I know. This is why, like, Jan, the drama. Also, if mankind was truly created in God's image, Michael is proof that our creator had genital warp.

Oh, my gosh. So rough. Okay. Well, the roast of Michael Scott ends with Andy. You know, he's going to get up and sing a song parody. Yes, let's hear it. Andy suck is a ball. The looseriest, jerky is and you're dumber than apple sauce.

We're stuck listening to you all day. Stanley tried to die just to get away when it's true. That's what I hate about. That's what I hate about. I mean, I know we're here to talk about the roast, but every time Andy has to end a song with a he, D, B, D, D, D, it gets me every time. Oh, okay. The candy bag alts were mostly more lyrics for this song, okay?

But there was one roast alt that was so on brand for Andy. I just want to share it. You know Andy's love of nicknames? Yes. Okay. Andy would have said, Michael, I've been trying to find a nickname for you, but there are so many good ones.

I thought I'd give you the top ten. Boss lady. Ten dollar suit. The incompinator. Hair club for men. Pubes. Toilet monster. bad breath, Jeff, that might have been on a garbage pale kid, Mr. Lonely Pants, Michael Snott,

and Drumroll, Childless Failure. Oh, my gosh. I feel like Boss Lady and $10 suit are just references to that same episode where Michael bought the lady's suit. And when I first read this, I thought it was Hair Club for Men Pubes, like one thing. Yeah, and then I was like, oh, there's a comma. So after the roast ends, Michael does not take things well. I mean, it was rough on him. He had planned to stand up and kind of roast everybody back. Yeah.

But he can't get through it. He walks off the stage. He like does that, oh, that super awkward heartbreaking moment where he like runs into the drum and has to set it back up again. So he actually takes a personal day. He puts on his turtleneck. He reflects at the park. He ultimately comes back into the office and decides. that he is going to roast everyone.

Yeah. Let's hear it. Jim, you're 6-11, and you weigh 90 pounds. Gumbie has a better body than you. Boom, roasted. Dwight, you're a kiss-ass. Boom, roasted.

Pam, you failed art school? Boom, roasted. Meredith. You've slept with so many guys, you're starting to look like one. Boom, roasted. Kevin, I can't decide between a fat joke and a dumb joke, boom, roasted.

Creed, your teeth call. Your breath stinks. Boom, roasted. Angela, where's Angela? Well, there you are. I didn't see you behind that grain of rice. Boom. Roasted. Stanley, you crush your wife during sex and your heart sucks. Boom, roasted. Oscar, you are...

Oscar? You're gay. Andy Cornel call. They think you suck. And you're gay than Oscar. Oscar. Boom, roast it. Boom, roasting. All right, everybody. You know I kid. You know I kid. You guys are the reason that I went into the paper business. So, good night. God bless. God bless America. And get home safe. How he ends it with what he would have said the night before.

Yeah. He just fully reads his whole roast. I thought both Steve and Leslie David Baker did such a great job of building that laugh moment and that feeling of acceptance and that everything's going to be okay, both of them. Same. Same. Same. Well, there were a lot of alts for Michael's roast of the room, in particular for Creed. These few cracked me up.

Creed, how about you trim your ear hair once in a while? Boom, roasted. Creed, you're so old, you send money to pay. PBS, boom, roasted. Creed, at your age, getting lucky is finding your reading glasses. Bam, Zoom, roasted. Creed, you're so old and all-nighter means not having to get up to pee. Boom, roasted.

And then there were a few for Toby, too, but I just am going to read my favorite. Ready? Yes. Michael would have said, Toby, fuck you. Boom, roasted. It was like an all caps. It's in all caps. So Michael's roast ultimately is a hit.

He does make Stanley laugh. And the episode ends with a Michael talking head where he says, they say that laughter is the best medicine. So Stanley, you can throw away those pills. You are cured. Actually, you should better hold onto them pills just in case. Well, I thought we should end this special boom-roasted episode with one last candy bag alt. It's one for Michael.

It's his talking head at the end. and here's what he would have said. There's a lot of kinds of laughter. There's the little chuckle, like when someone tells you a joke. And it says in parentheses, he chuckles. There's that uncontrollable giggling, like when your friends just told you an embarrassing secret. In parentheses, he giggles. There's the big belly laugh like when you watch a Robin Williams movie.

Michael does a belly laugh. And then there's a laughter that comes from the heart laughter. Stanley's heart might have stopped working. but it kept on laughing. And I would rather laugh than work. That's just me. It's kind of sweet. Heart laughter.

Heart laughter. Lady, you give me heart laughter. Thank you. You make me laugh really hard. Same. And it's nice. It's good. It's healthy.

Yes, very. And Lee makes me laugh. I feel so fortunate. Yeah, Josh really cracks me up. I mean, in our family, everyone thinks Josh is the funny one. Like, he's the one that gets us all. because you don't see it coming. Well, you know, my kids voted on who was the funniest in our family.

I came in fifth. Like, after the pets. Oh, after the pets? Well, I guess the only thing I'm funnier than is the dog. Oh, Maggie's not funny. I was like, it's such a funny thing to say, though. It's only how I make my living. I know.

As a comedic actress and podcaster, but whatever. I know. Not a big deal. Not funny to my family. Yeah. Well, Josh is the funny one in my family. But I think I'm funnier than our animals. I don't know. I haven't asked. Who knows? I'll get back to you. Let me know. All right. Well, that was really fun. I really loved those candy bag alt. That was nice. I mean, I spent like a whole day reading them. I know you did too. And it was like, I could hear everyone's voices. Yeah. And it was so fun. Well, let's take a break. And when we come back, it's time for around

The Town and our office question of the week. We are back and Sam, we had a few people write in and say, they miss your Around the Town sting. So I thought we should make sure we play it today. Absolutely. Here we go. Around the Town! It's so stupid. It's so perfect.

I love it so much. All right. Let's start with one from our snail mail. Alice B from Massachusetts wrote in to say, Ladies, I know you love a fun summer trip, so I wanted to write you about an amazing festival. My family and I went last year and had a great time. It's the Revere Beach International Sand Sculpting Festival. Professional sand sculptors from all over the world come here, and what they do with sand is unbelievable.

True works of art. Plus, there's great food, lots of entertainment and fireworks, and Revere Beach is easy to get to from Boston. So if you love the beach and sand castles, this is the one for you. come visit us in Massachusetts. We love you, ladies. I mean, that sounds cool. I know. It always sounds cool. When can we do this stuff? I think it's after our kids graduate school. I mean, we just have to be here right now. Well, listen, I'm firmly believing office ladies is going to go on forever. We have our back library that's always going to run. And maybe we can just hop on and have some travel journal chats. Oh, that's a fun idea. Like if we finally get to go to all these things. Yeah, we'll just come in and we'll read, are journals of going to the Revere Beach International Sand Sculpting Festival. I would love to hear each of our takes on that. Me too.

And like what we ate, I went to the website, and this festival happens end of July. The artwork is unbelievable. Like the sand art is unbelievable. Alice, you're right. Lady, I have another place for us to go. Oh, okay. We got an around the town from Stephanie D. in Cedar Rapids, Iowa, who says Mount Trashmore in Cedar Rapids, Iowa is a former landfill with 6 million tons of garbage transformed into a recreation destination with walking and bicycling trails and a scenic overlook of the city.

Stephanie said I am currently working on completing the annual Mount Trashmore Challenge for the second time. What is that? Okay. You can earn prizes and you get your name on the annual challenge plaque if you hit 140 climbs. of Mount Trashmore because that is the equivalent of Mount Everest. Wow. Stephanie said your podcast keeps me positive, smiling, and entertained as I put in another climb toward my goal.

Thank you for keeping me company along the way. I love that trash has been turned into a community asset that provides individuals an opportunity to meet new people, get active, and celebrate one another's successes. Lady, I want to climb Mount Trashmore with you. I mean, and also, Stephanie, what a positive thing, you know? Yeah. Gosh, I love that. I would climb it with you.

Can we climb it one time? Do we have to climb it 140? We just go one time. Okay. Also, I happen to love Iowa. I have a little bit of a sweet spot for Iowa because it's right on the border of Missouri, and we used to go into a tumwa for really good, like, loose meat hamburgers when I was in college. I've never been to Iowa.

Oh, it's great. Well, there we go. Gosh, put it on our list. I know this what I'm saying. This list is getting long. Okay, that's what she said. Did she say that? I don't know.

This list is, no, it's not getting wrong. I don't think she said it. If it's getting long, it's growing, guys. This thing is getting long. Sam said I will allow it. You're allowing the... Hold on. Go watch yourself, counselor.

Okay. Oh, boy. All right. Michelle E. from New Albany, Indiana, wrote in and said, hi office ladies. First off, I wanted to say how much I love your show. Thank you, Michelle. And then Michelle said, I wanted to share something cool my daughter's school did the other day. They did a wax museum and had to do a report on famous Hoosiers. She told me that one of her best friends was doing her report on Jenna Fisher.

I was quick to reply that Jenna was not a Hoosier and she grew up in St. Louis since I feel like I know so much about you guys. I then discovered, Jenna, you were born in Fort Wayne, which I guess makes you a Hoosier. There were several girls that did their reports on you since there was more than one class and maybe not that many famous Hoosiers. But I still thought it was neat and wanted to share. Thank you again for all you do. Well, it's true, Michelle. I was born in Fort Wayne, Indiana. My folks grew up in St. Louis, but my dad was transferred there for work. That's where I was born. I think I lived there less than two years. We moved away when I was pretty little. And I did then grow up in St. Louis. I've never been back to Fort Wayne. I almost went to college. My second choice school

when I did my college tours was Butler University in Indiana because they had a really good dance program. And your mom has shared on this show that you and Emily, your sister, were very good dancers. Yeah. I mean, I knew though, like when I went to visit, I was like, I don't have it to make this program. So, but I loved the campus. But I've never been back to Fort Wayne. I've kind of wanted to go. Do you have any memories of Fort Wayne? Were you that young? I was young enough that I don't have any memories. So from Fort Wayne, my family moved to California for about two years.

Do you remember that at all? I do. I remember that we had an above ground swimming pool and I would swim in the pool with the dog. And I remembered that we had a lemon tree and I used to pick the lemons and eat them right off the tree. Ooh, wow. So I have two very faint memories of California. Wait, you can just... I don't think you're supposed to...

You can bite into a lemon lady to the stay? Can you just eat a lemon like an apple? No, I mean... You're creed eating the onion right now. No, I mean, people do that all the time. Okay, so you cut the lemon open. Yeah, and then you like lick it, you squeeze it. And can you still do that and it doesn't give you the wee G-Bs?

No, no, no. I could maybe do that with like a Meyer lemon. But I guess I just loved lemons. Oh, I also remember we had snails and I used to take the snails and like put them on my arm. Those are my memories, snails, lemons, and an above ground pool. That was my childhood. All right. I think it is time for the office question of the week.

This is from Bonnie P. in Kitchener, Ontario. Hi, Jenna and Angela. I am currently listening to the episode Dwight K. Shrewt, acting manager. And I have a question about the office that I have been dying to ask. Who designed the logo for Dunder Mifflin? It bears a striking resemblance to the logo of the company that my husband works for. This company, and by the way, Bonnie, I hope I'm saying this correct. But Bonnie said the company's name is Malau Blamey Construction.

And it was founded in 1982 in Waterloo, Ontario. So it and the logo has been around for longer than the office. Is this just a coincidence? Do a comparison and let me know what you think. Thank you. Here's the picture, Bonnie. All right. Let's look at this picture.

Well, listen, it is blue. And it's kind of got that with white framing. Big letters. The spacing of the words is close too. Like they're physically very, very close together. I mean, I see a similarity. I'm very curious. Bonnie, we will do a side by side and put it in our stories,

but I do see the similarity you're talking about. Yeah, I see the similarity. I think it's different enough, but it is similar. I really liked this question because I realized this is something that we have never dug into. Where did this logo? this very famous logo that is all over the place now on shirts and on actual reams of paper. Like, who did design this? So I reached out to Greg and Greg said the original one would have been in the pilot.

Our pilot episode had a different production designer than our longtime production designer Michael Gallenberg. This was true. Our DP on the pilot was different from our longtime DP Randall Einhorn, who took over once the show got picked up. So same with our production designer. The production designer on our pilot was Donald Lee Harris. And within his department, Henry Sane was credited as the graphic designer. So Greg said his guess is Henry must have designed it. And he just remembers that Michael Gallenberg made variations of it for different uses. But Greg said it would be interesting to find out if you can track down either Donald Lee Harris or Henry Sane and ask because Greg added that at one point,

he was told that the Dunder Mifflin fictional brand is the second most famous fictional brand after Duff Beer from The Simpsons. Wow. Mm-hmm. That's crazy. Yeah. Well, Jenna, this also got me curious about the logo of the BBC version of the office for their company, Wernham Hogg. So I looked it up. because I couldn't remember it. Me either now that you mention it. Does it look like the Dunder Mifflin one? Not at all. Look at it. It's totally different. I'll put it in stories. Oh, very different. It's red and black and yeah. The font's different. It's not framed in any way. It's got like a big W and then the letters come off that giant W. Yes. Well, I found Henry Sane on IMDB. He directed Bounty Hunter. He has an extensive resume for graphic design. I was hoping to see if there was like some

trivia about him? I tried to dig around. Like, is there anything attributed to him for having designed this very famous logo? I couldn't find anything, but I did find some contact information for his manager, so maybe we can reach out. Matt is on vacation this week. He's high up on a mountain. So when he's back, maybe we can get to the bottom of it. And Henry, hey, if you're hearing this, write us. Yes, or anyone who knows Henry or anyone who knows who designed. this logo. We want to hear from you. All right. Well, this was just a ton of fun. I had such a great time. I was so excited today coming into work. Josh was like, what are you so chipper about? I was like, well, I don't know. I just get to go talk with my bus for a room. Yeah. I don't know why I'm saying

it like that. I don't either. I don't either. But I felt the same way. You know, I'm taking off for my summer vacation after we record this episode. I know. You're on vacay, lady. I know. So I was sort of aware, like, oh, it's going to be a couple weeks before I get to see you and record again. So this was a nice send-off. Thanks. Well, I'm doing a little vacay myself, lady. You're doing a bucket list vacay. I really am. It is something I've wanted to do. I mean, my whole life, really. I'm going to Wimbledon, you guys. I'm going to Wimbledon. I can't wait. And I'm just giddy about it. I think I've sent you like eight pictures of like, what do I wear? I'm so, so excited for you. I think we need to do a summer travel journal episode. I will share about Lake of the Ozarks and I think you should share about this Wimbledon trip.

Okay, done. All right. Well, on that note, everyone, thank you so much. We hope you are also having a great summer and we will be back next week with another episode. See you then. Boom roasted. Roasted. Thank you for listening to Office Ladies. Office Ladies is a presentation of Odyssey and is produced by Jenna Fisher and Angela Kinsey. Our senior producer is Matt Beagle and our audio engineer is Sam Kiefer. Odyssey's executive producer is Leah Reese Dennis. Office Ladies was mixed and mastered by Bill Shultz.

Our theme song is Rubber Tree by Creed Bratton.