Offline with Jon Favreau - Mailbag Episode with Jon and Emily Favreau

Episode Date: January 2, 2022

Jon and Emily Favreau sit down for a special mailbag episode. They answer any questions (yes, any and all) submitted by listeners like you.For a closed-captioned version of this episode, click here. For a transcript of this episode, please email [e-mail] and include the name of the podcast.

Hey, everybody. Welcome to Offline and Happy New Year. So since the beginning of the series, I've opened every episode asking you to send us your questions about the show. And today I'll answer as many as I can. But I thought I'd bring on a special guest to help me do that. Here by popular demand, my wife, Emily Favreau. Hello. Thank you for having me. Our first pod together. I know. Lovitz had me. Our first pod together. I know. Lovett's had me on. I have not had you on. Yeah. You've done like 500 podcasts. This is my first. Well, I had to convince you to do this. You were a little skeptical. I mean,

I feel like I agreed and then the rules were changed after I agreed. So we'll see how this goes. Okay, cool. Well, that's fine. Great. Well, it's a podcast. Great. We can cut anything. Okay. So you can dig into the mailbag. It's you. Great, great. So I'm going to dig into the mailbag here. There were a lot of questions and comments about your episode with the Surgeon General, Dr. Murthy.

So the first one, Laura Short said, I appreciated John's sharing of your experience as a first-time parent during the pandemic. My daughter was born at the end of July of 2020. Same. And so I feel like our parenting timelines are very similar. I was worried about whether my husband would be able to come into the delivery room, worried about who we would let see the baby, worried about attending appointments alone and hearing bad news, etc. I know from my first baby the difference a community of new parents

who are sitting around like WTF is life can make. Same, Laura, same. And then Brad Moringer wrote, quote, as Americans living abroad, our experience during these past two years has been truly unique. In August of 2019, I quit my job in DC and followed my wife on a new adventure to

Romania for her work. We enjoyed about seven months of European living until COVID hit. As the world was shutting down, we were given 48 hours notice that we were being evacuated to the UK. We could only bring the suitcases we could carry and we're not sure when we would be coming back. We spent the next six months living in temporary housing in England until it became clear we couldn't go back and her company moved us here permanently. Our lives were completely uprooted during a time when the whole world was upside down. Like you mentioned on the podcast, I didn't begin to experience the effect it had on me until several months later. But when it did, it shook me to my core. I went to therapy for the first time in my life to work through what these issues issues and it was the best thing I ever did. I 1000% agree that as a society, we have not thought

enough about the mental health fallout of this pandemic. I appreciate your honesty and candidness about your own experience. And I wanted to write this email to let you know how much the specific episode impacted me. Keep up the good work and cheers from England. It's funny. We, we received more feedback about the Vivek Murthy episode, the Surgeon General episode than basically any other episode we've done more than a lot of episodes of Pod Save America interviews that we've done. And I think it sort of speaks to what I hoped the show would be which is like not necessarily i talked to you about this when i was trying to figure out the show like i didn't want to just be a show about like the internet and technology but a show about sort of connection and the way

that we interact with each other and how strong our connections are today and a lot of that right now is about i think social media and politics but it feels like a lot of that right now is about, I think, social media and politics, but it feels like a huge factor in all this is the pandemic. And I think we don't talk about mental health issues around the pandemic enough. And I've been trying to figure out why. And I think there's like a few big reasons. One, I think if you're healthy and privileged, like we are, you feel like it's a smaller problem relative to the problems that a lot of other people are going through right now. So you don't really want to make it public to, it feels like some kind of an individual failing if you have that problem. And three,

I think if you want, if you want more human connection, if you want to be hanging out with friends more and seeing family more, um, you've, it feels like you're not maybe taking the dangers of the pandemic seriously enough. Um, and it's one of the reasons that we don't. But I don't know. What do you think? We've had a couple of years of being parents in a pandemic. Yeah. I mean, I don't know what being a parent not in a pandemic is like. Neither do you. So I don't know it's starting to feel like how is this still going like we just canceled our trip home to see my parents for christmas that it feels it feels like last year but then also like there's so many things we know that are better but at the same time like we have a healthy happy toddler and that's fun and i i love like being with our family so i i

can't complain but yeah it's definitely it's definitely the lonely experience but then at the same time like we're not the only ones going through this you know we went we went to bed last night we both got in bed and we're just like we just started laughing and we started laughing we're like oh another day another day in the pandemic, two years running. Here we go. We realized we haven't, we've only lived in this house during the pandemic. Charlie has only known life during the pandemic. Yeah.

Like there's only been, we've only lived in a house. There's only been masks in this house since we moved in. I know. It's crazy. I'm so over it. But like, I don't know. But I don't know. It was, it was nice hearing from a lot of

people after that episode it was nice talking to Dr. Murphy just because I do think there's a sense out there that everyone is people have talked about this sort of languishing it's the feeling of languishing Adam Grant wrote a piece about this in the New York Times where like you're not necessarily depressed you're not necessarily great But you're just kind of getting through each day and there's something missing. And I think it's making everyone a little angrier, a little more on edge. And it's showing up in our politics. It's showing up just in life. It's showing up on airplanes.

It's showing up like all over the place. Yeah, I went Christmas shopping today and there was like a brawl in the parking lot. Really? Yeah. One guy parked too close to another guy. That's how started but like things were dicey people are pissed out there i know um okay next question okay we got a bunch of questions about parenting christy low asks can you do an episode that touches on the impact of the internet and social media on parents and our kids i constantly feel guilty about my own screen time and my kids screen

time, but it's also how we connect with long distance family and friends. It's such a catch 22 lose, lose situation. Um, and then a lot of other people ask for advice for new parents slash parents to be on kids with phones slash iPads. And I just think before you answer this question or I answer this question, we should make it very clear that we don't know what we're doing here. I was just going to say that. I was going to say like, we are not experts on this. Yeah. We do not know the answer here. Do you want to? I will say that I do want to do an episode on screen time or just like the impact of internet and social media on parents and kids. I think there's probably a lot of, there are a lot of experts out there.

We are just not them. We are not them. No, that's why I want to do the episode. I love talking to people who are smarter than me. If you all have recommendations for who we should do the episode with, like, please let us know. And I think there's a range of episodes you could do. You could do the impact of screen time and the internet on parents and young kids.

You can do the impact on teenagers. Obviously, there was a lot about Instagram and the effect on teenagers when the Facebook papers came out. So there's a lot of topics there that I would actually love to cover. But for us... I mean, no, you're making it seem like we plop him in front of a TV. I didn't even say anything yet. That's what you're making. I said nothing yet.

I will say that. I think he's by himself right now watching TV. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. He is not. He is. He's being cared for. Doing a puzzle. No, I mean, I just kind of, as with all parenting things that I'm figuring out these

last couple of years, I'm just trying to kind of like read the room and feel what feels right for our family. And for me, that means like letting Charlie watch trucks in the morning on YouTube in our bed while I drink coffee. And it's an experience that I really enjoy because I'm sort of waking up and cuddling with our son. You've been up for like two hours. You bring me a coffee. But I don't know, like the snuggling and starting a cozy morning with his mom to me kind of feels like it outweighs like the negatives of like maybe YouTube trucks rotting his brain.

But I don't know. No, look, we've read all the studies, right? It's like a lot of screen time is bad for kids that are young. I just want to let you know I've not read the studies. I've read about, I've heard about the studies. I've heard about these studies. I'm sure a lot of people tell us it's not good. But here's the thing.

First of all, number one, I think there's a lot of hours to fill in the day. You know this way better than I do because it's all day for you and it's not all day for me it's like the weekends and night for me and there's especially a lot of hours to fill during the day during a pandemic yeah when you can't be doing a lot of public activities and have charlie play with like a bunch of friends and be indoors and a whole basically a whole range of activities are excluded yeah right now um so there's a lot of time to fill i do think that when we the limited time that he does watch uh screens or watch television we are sitting with him and often like explaining to him what's on the screen and talking

to him about it you're better at that than i am i just well it's like there's also like educational television thing thankfully the fifers um tell us about daniel Tiger I know there's a lot of blippy oh my god no blippy we're trying so we try to do that and then I think if you balance out the limited screen time with a lot of reading which we do ton of reading to Charlie

and then just a lot of other social interaction wherever we can and just spending a lot of time with him interacting and I mean we have it so much easier. Like my sister has a three year old. And like, so that's been two years in the pandemic of like Charlie being this age, you know. And so we're lucky. Yeah.

Like I think a lot of parents. He was a little baby blob for the first year of the pandemic. And like that was sort of great for me because I like sat around feeding him, you know? But it's been hard. The screen time kid thing with kids that kind of like the one that makes me feel more stressed out is not him watching screens, but more I find myself being on my phone around him, especially because I'm with him on all day. And I'm like, since I'm not working, I'm like

finding myself looking for adult socialization on like Instagram or on Twitter. And so then I'm like sitting with him, but I'm staring at my phone. And then I, that's what makes me feel like kind of, I'm doing a bad job. Um, and so that's maybe a new year's resolution. Like I want to just like put my phone away and like do solid play time with Charlie, as opposed to like one ear on him, one eye on TikTok, you know, I have found myself doing that too. I have been a little bit better about catching myself when I think about it, um, when I'm on my phone and he's around. And then something else,

when we were just talking about this sort of mental health challenge, I find that the times where I leave my phone in the other room or just make a conscious effort to play with Charlie, talk to Charlie, watch Charlie play, even if I'm not talking to him, I'm just watching him play, it makes me a lot happier and more fulfilled. We both talked about this then half scrolling through twitter being on my phone and then saying like okay i'm watching him

but i'm doing something else like just now i mean it wasn't always like this i think when he was younger he wasn't doing as much well you didn't really like him too five months old that's true it's not true charlie if you ever hear this. I wasn't good at parenting until I was five or six months old. You were just not into it. I wasn't into it. But now that he is talking and can play and stuff like that, it's really fulfilling and fun to watch him play. And it's a good break from being on your fucking phone. Yeah. You know?

Yeah. But again, you're with him literally all day. And I'm so lucky that I can be. But it's also like it's not realistic that I would just be like crazily attentive to him. Right. From the time he wakes up to the time he naps. A lot of hours in a day. A lot of hours in a day, people.

It's a lot of hours. That's why it's four o'clock and I'm having a glass of wine. I'm having a cocktail as well. We're talking about being bad parents, so crushing it, crushing it, crushing it. Okay. Caitlin Reed asks, crushing it, crushing it. Okay. Caitlin Reed asks, hi, love the show. Not sure if you'll address this in a future episode, but think it would be really great to discuss the role and influence TikTok has, arguably more so than Twitter.

It also has the young audience who is likely not on Twitter and is where more and more eyes and attention are going. There's also some people who would like to see you focus on platforms that aren't just Twitter and Facebook, which seem to be the most problematic. Yes, we're going to do a TikTok show. You are? Yeah. You don't even know what TikTok is.

That's why, again, that's why I'm going to do the show. So I'm going to talk to someone who knows TikTok. But this is actually the, like, Twitter is the only platform I talk about was an admonition early on from Tanya Sominator, who's our chief content officer. And me. And you and, you know, digital gurus and you, someone who's on TikTok a lot. Because I think Twitter. Look, the reason that I focus on Twitter a lot is there's a bias because I'm on Twitter all the time. Also, but also like the presence of every journalist in the world and

every politician in the world on Twitter gives the platform huge influence relative to its user base. So there are a very small percentage of people on TikTok compared to Snapchat, Instagram, TikTok, right? But the news, the way that people understand the world is through the media and the way that the media is always on Twitter, right? So Twitter has this outside influence. But I think that especially in younger generations, so many people are getting their news and information or just are hanging out on TikTok and Snapchat and all that. What else? Young kids are hanging out on TikTok. There's no way to talk about this about me sounding so fucking old you're so old i'm like truly mortified i think i think we should

cut the line where john said kids are hanging out on tiktok no keep um youtube reddit i want i want to talk about all those platforms so right again recommendations do you have recommendations people i should talk to well i had to tell you who charlie d'amelio was the staff talks was like we should have the d'Amelio sisters on. And I'm like, I don't know what I'm going to even say to them. I don't really know who they are, except for you told me who they were. Yeah. Well, I think also not even just TikTok, which seems like pretty outside your wheelhouse,

but I think you could learn. But I think there is an interesting conversation for you to have, too, on this show about Instagram and Instagram influencers and trolls and comments, because to me, as someone who's on Twitter and Instagram, less so Twitter than you are, but like everyone's on Twitter less than you are. Yeah. I would say that Twitter is like kind of meaner and Instagram is sometimes nicer. But then again, but then a lot of people would totally disagree with me because I think I just have sort of nice Instagram followers. But people who are like Instagram influencer-y, super famous on Instagram often are like hugely bullied. And like their DMs are filled with people like telling them to like go jump off a building.

So I don't know. I just think there's like an interesting conversation about looking at people's lives through Instagram and thinking there's something and really there's something else. And what's going on on TikTok? Leo's trying to leave. What's going on on TikTok? I actually haven't been on TikTok in a while, but. I will say I remember one night when you were on TikTok and I did not, like I hadn't been on much at all. And then you're like, just watch it for a couple of minutes. And suddenly I was like glued to it for a half hour. Yeah, it's great. So it is very addicting.

I can see that. I don't know if that's a good thing, but. Well, I usually, I haven't been watching a lot of TikTok because you fall asleep before I do and it makes noise. So I scroll Instagram because it's quiet. Cool, cool, cool. It's good to know. All right. Maricia 0603 asks, who is the white whale that you've been wanting to interview, but haven't been able to get? And Nicholas Backhand, Maggie Jerome and Hillary Smith all wrote to suggest you talk to Bo Burnham about his recent special.

Yeah, obviously. Bo Burnham was one of the first people that I wanted to interview for Offline, and we couldn't get him. I know he doesn't do a lot of interviews, but if anyone knows how to get to Bo Burnham, please let him know. I want to talk to him for Offline. We both watched that special sort of on a whim. I knew about it. You did? Yeah, and I said, this is supposed to be really good I think you'll like it and we were blown

away yeah as everyone was right but I don't know I just I thought it was so so good I really want to talk to Bo Burnham anyone else obviously Taylor Swift but you're gonna say me but you're here Taylor Swift was like to talk to Lizzo because she uses social like her use of social media Lil Nas X is someone in the entertainment field

in the political field Prince Harry or Meghan Markle or both okay because they've dealt a lot with yeah

like Prince Harry talks about these issues I want to talk to my old boss Barack Obama he has thought about these issues for a long time AOC I would love to do an episode with her about how Democrats and politicians use social media, which is not great. So those are some of my, those are some of the big,

you asked white whales, those are some of the big ones. I'd like to join any of those. Yeah. Cool. Terry Lynn 92 asks, how do you turn off work to focus on family and how do you keep from being angry in today's political climate? And Politigal asks, do you both talk politics together? How do you do it? Is there a healthy way? Let's tackle that first one. OK, I was going to say. This feels like it should be for like a marriage counselor, not for a podcast.

How do you turn off work to focus on family and how do you keep from being angry? Those are two different questions. How do you turn off work to focus on family? Well, for me, I am not working. So my focus is on my family. So your turn. How do I turn it off? You don't.

I don't. I don't turn it off you don't i don't i don't turn it off i mean i turn off like work work but i'm sort of just like if things are going on in the world i focus on i'm looking at them yeah like yesterday i was like yesterday when we're recording this uh i should have said we're recording this on december 20th you're hearing this on uh january 2nd i believe and yesterday was the day that um jochin blew up the Build Back Better deal. And it was one of those moments that you've experienced many times where like we were all sitting around and you probably thought that I was. I thought you were mad at me. I thought you

thought I was participating in the family conversation. And instead I was just like quietly looking at my phone. It's not like you're ever hiding it. I always know when like it's interesting because you don't get into as many Twitter fights anymore, which I appreciate. But I used to know that something was going on if you were like just suddenly in like a foul mood and like I had done nothing wrong. And I would be like, OK, something is off. And so I'd look at Twitter and it'd be like 12 tweets deep and like you're fighting with

someone. And it's like, I think you've done a better job at like separating that yes kind of behavior but I can always tell when you're like deep in breaking news and I think I I think credit to me I left I let you off the hook a lot you do oh my god because like your job is one that you have to be up on the news and it's like happening constantly. But I do think what might be more helpful that I should do more is I try not to, I try to have it both ways by like saying, okay, I'm going to read on my phone, the breaking news, but I'm also here being present. Yeah. I'd almost read. I should just like come into the office and like look on my computer and do some reading for 15 minutes yeah and then leave everything here and then come back

and just like separate it a little more part of it is a function of the pandemic too which is like i do think there are times during the week it's easier where if i'm working all day and i'm at the office and then i come home at five or six o'clock then like the period where i come home at five between when charlie goes to bed at seven we try to like eat, give Charlie a bath, do all that kind of stuff. And then I try to like. Put him in front of Blippi. But like have two hours where I'm not on my phone, unless there's horrible breaking news. Right. Or great breaking news. Or great breaking news, which we don't get to.

We have another part of this question. How do you keep from being angry in today's political climate? I mean, I don't think you can keep yourself from being angry. I think you can keep yourself or you can try to avoid letting the anger consume you or to like always be expressing the anger or to wallow in the anger.

Like I was very angry yesterday at Manchin like everyone else was and I was disappointed. But at some point you just to be like, what purpose does the anger serve me, right? Like, why am I depriving myself of joy over something that I don't know if I can control and what I can control, I should focus on trying to control and changing.

And this is much easier said than done, but it and what I can control. I should focus on trying to control and changing. And this is much easier said than done, but it's it's what I've tried to think about for at least the last year or so. And then do you both talk politics together? How do you do it? Is there a healthy way? We do talk a lot of politics. Yeah, I mean, our whole relationship, we've talked politics. I think that's part of the reason we're married is because we had a lot of similar political views and kind of, I was going to say the same level of interest in politics, but you, you're like, I didn't even realize when I married you the addiction to politics you have. But I'm, I'm, I'm interested in politics and I come from a political family.

So, I mean, we definitely do it in a healthy way, I think, just because it's the nature of your work. It's the work that I, is that part of the challenge with social media is you are public all the time and everything that you say. And in real life, what you're doing when you're thinking about politics or almost any subject is you're sort of working out your opinion and working out your thoughts in real time. And you really can't do that on social media much because sometimes you make mistakes or say stupid things or say wrong things or or get angry like we were just saying and I think when I'm really pissed about some conversation that's going on or some debate that's happening in politics it usually makes me feel much better to come home and at dinner be like oh you wouldn't believe what was happening

on Twitter you wouldn't believe this conversation or this debate and I talk to you about it and we either you say I'm right or I'm wrong. Yeah, it's just it feels better. Right. And I actually think I'm even though you're a real character and piece of work when it comes to this stuff. I feel lucky that like I can go all day without being on Twitter. And like I actually really do these days. I just don't want to be on it. And then but I always feel like if something is happening in the world, you're going to tell me at dinner or you'll like text me some tweet and I'll look at it. And then, but I always feel like if something is happening in the world, you're going to tell me at dinner or you'll like text me some tweet and I'll look at it. So I appreciate you keeping

me informed on things. Anytime. Anytime. It's more fun than Twitter. Okay. At LJ Summer 38 asks, has doing offline changed your views about social media, which is like use it or don't, constant consumption or delete my apps, which is just not realistic for me. I think that these conversations have pushed me to find ways to use social media better and to also gradually change my behavior instead of trying anything drastic. So you were just saying this, like, I'm still on Twitter all the time. I was going to say a lot. All the time. Let's just say all the time. Let's be honest.

But I'm doing a lot more reading of Twitter than tweeting, actually. Yeah. You've mentioned that I'm not in Twitter fights anymore the Twitter fights actually have gone away maybe like a year ago yeah I know Twitter fights I've stopped a while ago um I'm also like I'm just not going to reply to people who come at me with like an angry or accusatory or nasty tone yeah like I'm I just I don't feel like I need to give you a reply I don't feel like I owe you a reply if you're going to come at that because again I try to think if I walked up I don't feel like I owe you a reply if you're going to come at that. Because again, I try to think

if I walked up to someone on the street and someone started screaming at me about something, I wouldn't respond well. Which is funny because you, whenever I see mean tweets about you, I always want to reply and I write things and you're like, don't send that. Don't do that.

But I'm much more confrontational than you are. Yeah, no, I don't. I just don't. I would do that to someone in real life. Yeah, you would do that to someone in life. And I want to stand up for you. But it's like, it's just not, I've done it so much in the past that there's never a Twitter exchange with a random Twitter person or a Twitter person that I know, a person on Twitter

that I know. That's a Twitter person. Yeah, a Twitter person. Oh my God, your brain is broken. With people I know that are on, that has left me feeling better. Even if I feel like I've gotten the better of them in an argument, it has never, ever once made me feel better, nor do I think it has actually pushed some argument or debate forward.

So I don't think it's a good use of my time. And I've gotten a lot better at muting a ton of people. I try not to block either because once you block, they know you block. And then some people, when you block them, then they take a picture of you blocking them and they're like, oh, look who blocked. It's like not worth it.

You mute them, they don't know you mute them and they're just gone. It's a good idea. So, and the other thing I'm trying to think when I do tweet, like what am I putting out into the world right now? Like, is my tweet giving people useful information? Like, is it amplifying a point or an argument I think is smart? Is it drawing attention to something that I think is important?

Is it maybe like trying to make people laugh at a time when people are like stressed and anxious? Like, is it something funny I'm retweeting? But I saw this tweet today from Mary Mnookian, who's a friend of the pod, and she's a state rep in Michigan. And she said, she tweeted, it takes literally no extra energy to not be a complete and total jerk on this site or in real life, especially to folks who have gone through emotional trauma. Also, given that people often go through trauma silently, maybe just don't be a jerk to anyone. Yeah. It's just like something I've been thinking of lately as we talk about the pandemic and mental health challenges and what everyone's going through right now. Like people are just having a tough time. And it's like, do I, even if I'm angry about something like the mansion thing

yesterday, I actually didn't tweet about Joe Manchin yesterday, partly because I'm like, what is one more tweet calling Joe Manchin a fucking asshole going to do to the conversation? Is it going to change Joe Manchin's mind? Is it going to move us closer to getting the piece of legislation passed that we want? I don't think so. So, like, maybe I don't have anything to say and that's okay. I'm proud of you for realizing that. Yeah, it'll last until, like, tomorrow.

Yeah, definitely. Oh, my God. So many phone questions. Questions about your phone use. Alex asks, how often does John actually spend on his phone? Kyle asks, how often do you tell John to put the phone down and focus, whether it's about Charlie, Leo, cooking, being present, et cetera. And Daniel asks, does John take his phone on the toilet with him?

What else are you going to take on the toilet with him what else are you gonna take on the toilet with you yeah i mean to be fair okay wait i will say you take your phone on the toilet with you like normal people do when they need to use the bathroom however you also like pee with your phone in your hand like like it's insane probably not, it's insane. Probably not healthy. It's insane. Like you are peeing. It's only like a 30 second activity. No, it's like, it's like put your phone down. First of all, that's gross.

Second of all, like you're not going to spend a lot of time in there. Yeah. Okay. So yeah. But do I tell you to put your phone down and focus? I really don't because I mean, I think it's a combination of the fact that like, I never know if I basically do know what you're doing on your phone is work. Like you're not just like totally ignoring our family because you're like

scrolling like hot girls on Instagram. Like if that was the case, I would be like, what are you doing? Um, but you are like doing work. And I mean, I don't know. I like that just feels like a tricky bone to pick. And you're like self-aware enough to know like, okay, we're having dinner. I'm gonna put my phone down.

We're both self-aware enough to sort of like, we can, we've known each other long enough now that we can kind of read each other. And I can kind of tell if I'm like on the phone and we're like, Hey, like, okay, stop, okay stop stop at the phone right there's some nights where like we've both had long days and like we just want like some phone time you know yeah and that's fine and we're eating like some gross postmates but when we like go out to a nice dinner or I made dinner it's the two of us or it's the three of us with Charlie like we're not having our phones out yeah that's right good good for us um KGP asks both of us with Charlie. Like we're not having our phones out. That's right. Good. Good for us. KGP asks both of us,

what is your average weekly screen time? I just checked before the episode, six hours and 15 minutes a week. On your phone? Average, yeah. Do you have yours?

No, because you know why? I turned it off when Charlie was little because I have a valid reason. I have a valid reason. No, it's not. I turned it off when Charlie was little because I have a valid reason because I have the baby monitor on my phone and so I keep it open

like all the time and so I sleep with it on the Nanit is on in the middle of the night so it truly would, it was saying fucking technicality sorry, maybe you could turn the monitor on all right i have some i have some for emily swisky asks how many times a day do you go on instagram i was trying to figure that out um it totally depends on the day because some days i'm like busy driving and like i'm not instagramming and

driving um but then other days when like I'm just chilling, I'm probably go on like five times a day. But I have an alert on Instagram where if I am on Instagram for longer than an hour and 15 minutes. You have that too? You have that alert? Yeah, you don't? No.

Hamby told me about this during our episode. For Instagram? No, he has one for Twitter. He has one for 15 minutes on Twitter. And I was like. 15 total? Yeah. Hamby claims that he's on only on Twitter for bullshit. He claims he's only on for 15 minutes a day. No, I set an hour and 15 minutes. I don't know how I determined that, but usually at night I get in bed and I'm scrolling and it's like,

you've been on Instagram for an hour and 15 minutes. Is it time to close Instagram? And I'm like, yeah, I guess. I mean, you can override it. That's important. Yeah. You can override it. All right. Maybe I like, yeah, I guess. And you can override it. That's important. Yeah, you can override it. All right, maybe I'll do this for Twitter. Yeah, you should. Okay, that's good. S. Danver asks, how do you feel about people tagging you,

replying to you on social? Like pod stuff's happening and then someone's like, oh, Emily Favreau. Oh, I appreciate it. I think it's fun. Yeah, and then I like know that something funny happened today and like I got an alert.

Usually it gives you an opportunity to make fun of one of us. Yeah. Most of us. Yeah. No, I mean, that's what social media is for, right? Being social. Like I enjoy adult interaction, which is limited for me these days. So. Two big categories of questions remaining for you about the two most important people in your life after your family, John Lovett and Taylor Swift.

Oh, man. Should we start with Lovett? Yes. Okay. Speed round for Lovett. T. Curl asks, favorite John Lovett story? Hmm. That's tough. That's impossible. I've known John Lovett story. Hmm. That's tough.

You can't, that's impossible. I've known John Lovett for 10 years. Um, I don't have a favorite story, but I have a favorite time of John Lovett in my life. And I think that's right when we moved to LA, John Lovett moved in across the street from us.

And that's like kind of the time when Lovett and I got really close. Like we liked each other before, but that's when we would the time when love and i got really close like we liked each other before but that's when we would like really got into it and it's also when you guys were launching crooked media um from my home at the time and like love it used to like come over for dinner and like would end up like watching tv and having a drink and then he'd like fall asleep on our couch in the living room and he'd like sleep over and then in the morning he'd like send me a text, like slept at the office again. I forgot about that.

And then like, and things were like just too close at that time. Like a lot of people don't know, like you think we're all close. Like when we first moved to LA. Oh my God. Emily and I rented a house across the street from my brother, Andy, and now sister-in-law, Molly.

They were there first. We rented the house across the street. She was like, why and now sister-in-law, Molly. They were there first. We rented the house across the street. She was like, why are all these people moving onto my street? Love it. Rented the house literally right next to them. Um, our other friend, Josh from growing up, rented the house two doors down from us. And then when we started the business and Tommy was living in San Francisco, Tommy briefly lived in the guest house behind us. So we were all in the same room. Tommy also never admits that he did that. He's always like, oh, I wasn't actually living there.

I'm like, Tommy, you had Amazon send shampoo to my house. That's true. He did, yeah. He totally lived there. But Levitt would just totally act like, like one time he texted me, he was like, okay, I'm going to drop Pundit off in a few hours. And I was like, what?

What are you talking about? Because you guys were going on a trip um and he was like yeah you're gonna watch pundit right and i was like i mean no you didn't ask me at all he's like i could have sworn i asked you and i'm like no definitely not and he's like well will you watch pundit i'm like what um so then i watched pundit for two days one time pundit just showed up on our doorstep. That was tough. Yeah, Pundit ran away from Lovett. Pundit crossed the street. But wanted to see Leo and was scratching at the door. It was really cute, but also scary.

And Megan Oyer asks, what's it like going shopping with Lovett? This is multiple questions like this. Honestly, I love shopping with Lovett. It's one of my favorite activities with him. You have to account for the fact that he's going to be 25 minutes later than he says we should go shopping, which is actually works for me because I kind of advanced the shopping trip and I pull selects for him. And then he says, yes, no, yes, no. He's super efficient, though. He's a good shopper. He likes to take fashion risks, which I appreciate. I'm like your husband. Yeah, he's not like only getting like, oh, that green sweater is a little too green.

So, yeah, it's fun. And then like last time we went shopping last week, we got a Wetzel's pretzel and Diet Cokes. And it was just like a great time. Yeah, you guys have fun. Cat Pennies asks, who knows more of Lovett's secrets? I think you do. I think I do. And I will say, though, Lovett doesn't have a ton of secrets.

He's sort of an open book. No, that's not true. Okay. Well, then you definitely know more of the secrets than I do. Lovett is good at keeping secrets. That's what I was thinking of. Because Lovett always says

that he thinks so little about the secret that he hears. He kind of just forgets about it. Yeah, that's true. Like he's not, he doesn't like, he's not a gossiper. That's actually not true. Gossip?

I think he's not a gossiper. He's not a gossip. I think he's like pretty gossipy. Okay. I think we have truly different relationships. Yeah, I think this is what I'm learning here in this episode. And I think he does tell you secrets.

Like if you're in the office together, he'll confide in you. Yeah. But for me me he'll like call me with a secret you know what i mean and he would never call you it's weird that you talk well i don't talk on the phone to anyone it's weird that you're talking on the phone to love it a lot um magnificent asks did john love it ever return that serving platter actually two weeks ago when levin and ronan came over to play with charlie love it brought the platter and i

like had totally forgotten about it it was like a white platter from like Target. And he was like, I was like, oh my God, thanks. I forgot about this. And he was like, well, then it's like a gift because you forgot you had it. So it's a gift from me. But he did not return the mixing bowl that I lent him, which he then used for Halloween candy and got stolen off his front porch. And then he tweeted, my big pink bowl got stolen on Halloween.

And I was like, that's my pink bowl. Not yours at all. All right, Taylor Swift speed round. Nat Van Dogg, least favorite Taylor Swift ex-boyfriend? Not Jake Gyllenhaal because he gave us the best song of all time. That's a good argument. You know, and like you can't discount that love.

That's a real experience. Probably someone like boring, like Taylor Lautner or something. Okay. You don't even know who that is. I do taylor liner he's the uh the movies with the vampires good work sorry uh go to swift album this is a tough one i think for me it's red especially right now with the i was gonna say it's hard for taylor's version but for me before that it was red yeah me i might say the same for me too but now it's the um now it's taylor's version yeah uh joni plunkett please rank taylor track fives okay this is the only question i prepared for i also prepared for this number you go first coming in number one obviously all too well coming in number two delicate my god it's good so far you have mine three dear john yeah okay that's where we diverge for my tears ricochet

five the archer mine is all too well delicate tolerate it my tears ricochet dear john interesting wow a lot more overlap than i thought yeah pretty good uh and then the primary demon asks which release do you think is next um i think 1989 that's my guess there's lots of easter eggs that point to 1989 here's where i can't figure it out is 1989 the chronologically did it come right after Red? Or where does Reputation come? It goes 1989, then Reputation. Oh, so I think 1989 too. Yeah.

1989 is just a better album than Reputation too. It is. Oh, I don't know. We could get into that. Finally, a few more for both of us. CMR95 asks, what do you do to stay connected after the baby? It's been hard to go on dates during a pandemic. Yes. Yes, it has um we try to go on dates once in a while yeah we're killing it well it's weird to say how do you stay connected because i feel like like we've been around each other

non-stop for two years last two two years. That feels kind of rude. I just feel very connected to you. Yeah, no, I think it's more about like putting our phones down. Like you're, we're lucky. Like your parents live 30 minutes away. Like we've been able to like, they've come and stayed at our house with Char. We've gone away for a weekend. But I don't know.

I mean, we left our house on a Saturday this week when your parents came and babysat. And we were like, we walked like right down the street from our house and got like coffees. And we were like, this is cool. We're like, date. It feels like we're dating. It was two o'clock on a Saturday afternoon. We're like, look at this date. We're just walking down Larchmont.

This is fun. Oh my God, is fun so lame um keila finn too asked did charlie say mama or data first i think he said mama and then he like stopped and then he started only saying data yeah and then he also says daddy yeah he only says daddy um but like he always always says everything. Yeah, big talker now. And Silversmith asks, Emily, who is Leo's favorite human? John, how amazing is Emily? Oh, that's so nice.

Leo's favorite human is me. Is me. He likes me a lot. No, I agree. But he likes... I actually think that since Charlie was born, he knows that you are like more attached to Charlie.

This is just all. And he's like, he's like sleeps over by my side of the bed. Only because you pull him over there. He's with me. You don't take him to the office anymore. He's with me all day. Well, we're sort of, you know, in and out of the office. I know.

But I, Leo, like Leo wants to be loved by me. He wants to play with you. Yeah, that's very true. Sort of the same as Charlie. Yeah, that is also true. Yeah, I'm a big player. How amazing is Emily? Look, Emily saw this question and was like, don't say anything lame here.

So I guess I'm not going to say anything lame. I don't like public affection. I don't want to do this on the podcast. I will say this. I'll say this. I think that two years in a pandemic with a child is probably as good a test as any for a marriage. And I think that knowing that both of us are anxious people, I will say that you for sure have been the steady one for the last two years and you have made our lives easier and better.

And you've made us laugh and you have like been a rock during this whole thing you have. And I like, that's something that I've, I mean, I find you amazing for 10 years, uh, as long as we've known each other, but for the last two years, that's something that I've, I mean, I find you amazing for 10 years, as long as we've known each other. But for the last two years, that's what I've appreciated most. I love you. Well, it's the cologne. You should cut that. I'm joking.

But mental health matters. Thank you for doing this. This wasn't so bad, was it? No. I mean, I don't want to do it again. Do you want to go on Love It or Leave It and do the rant well, maybe? You want to talk about foreign policy with Tommy and Ben? No, that sounds awful.

You have a lot of options for other cricket podcasts to do. No, I'm launching my own. You heard it here first. Perfect. What's it going to be about? It's going to be about how many times Charlie has pooped today. You going to keep it with Ira? You have a lot of options.

I could talk to Alyssa and Aaron, my girls. Yeah, I was going to say. This is just the beginning of your crooked career. Happy New Year, everyone. Thank you for listening to Offline. And I should say to everyone, too, I know we're just going to do eight episodes of Offline, but we're just going to keep going. So there'll be more Offline in the new year. Thrilled to hear that.

Yeah. Thanks, Emily. I love you. Love you, too. thrilled to hear that yeah thanks emily i love you love you too offline is a crooked media production it's written and hosted by me john favre it's produced by andy gardner bernstein and austin fisher andrew chadwick is our audio editor kyle seglin and charlotte landis sound engineered the show Thank you. Nar Melkonian, and Amelia Montooth, who film and share our episodes as videos every week.