Oh What A Time... - #132 Alexander the Great (Part 3)

Episode Date: August 17, 2025

We’re diving into palace intrigue, starting with the assassination of Philip II at a wedding that makes Game of Thrones look tame.Also, Tom has an idea for glasses innovation that sounds suspiciously like the glasses Dutch footballer Edgar David’s wore in the 90s. Please email in your criticism to: [e-mail] you fancy a bunch of OWAT content you’ve never heard before (and the entirety of the mini-series right now!), why not treat yourself and become an Oh What A Time: FULL TIMER?Up for grabs is:- two bonus episodes every month!- ad-free listening- episodes a week ahead of everyone else- And much moreSubscriptions are available via AnotherSlice and Wondery +. For all the links head to: ohwhatatime.comYou can also follow us on: X (formerly Twitter) at @ohwhatatimepodAnd Instagram at @ohwhatatimepodAaannnd if you like it, why not drop us a review in your podcast app of choice?Thank you to Dan Evans for the artwork (idrawforfood.co.uk).Chris, Elis and Tom xSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Wondery Plus subscribers can listen to episodes of, oh, what a time early and ad-free. Join Wondry Plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts. Accidents happen daily, but there's nothing routine about the damage they cause. The right personal injury lawyer understands the physical and emotional challenges you face following an injury. While we can't take away your pain, learners experience trial lawyers can help you navigate the complex legal issues on your recovery journey. When you suffer an accident, get the care and compensation you deserve with a learner's lawyer. Visit learnerspersonalinjury.ca today. That's learnerspersonaljury.c.a. Right. Okay. Amazing facts we've learned on our podcast.

Once we had a zookeeper on who told us that bananas are bad for monkeys. And a politician who told us all about the pubs in the actual houses of parliament. Yeah? And what about the astronaut who told us about how to make a curry in space? mind blown we could talk about the marine biologist the prison guard the cheese maker so many fascinating people joe if you want hilarious stories and to learn about the weird and wonderful people of the world then you should go and listen to our show things people do with me joe marla and me tom fordice search for things people do wherever you get your podcasts Hello and welcome to Oh, what a time.

Welcome to our 10-part mini-series on Alexander the Great. And welcome to the great age of innovation. I recently have had a problem that could only have been sold in the age of the internet, which is that my glasses keep sliding off my face because I'm a little bit sweaty. And what I found at Amazon is a little stickers you can put on glasses. They stop your glasses falling off your face. How good is that? Wow.

Welcome to 2020. I've never seen those before That's amazing Hey I didn't even know I was like I've got a problem Does the solution to this exist When it's slightly humid like it is right now I can't afford laser eye surgery

So that's not an option I can afford sticky state They are 150 pounds each But that's fine I've been led to believe That they definitely work Can you can you see them When they're on

You're wearing them now Do you look stupid? No Are you wearing them now Yeah look Is that? I don't want to be rude, is that why you're wearing

quite big glasses? Oversight, just to hide the stickers. There's a sort of sort of like 70s comedy performance style glasses you've gone for him. Eric Morkum. Exactly, yeah. They look great. Is Eric Morkum if Eric Morkham was an app developer? But with a thinner, genuinely

with a thinner spec, would you see the sticker? Is that why you've got such massive glasses? I suppose you might. I suppose like the glasses sticker innovation and big glasses I'm just happy they've evolved at the same time. Great. I've got a question for you, though, Skull.

I'm going to give you a list of situations. And I want you to tell me if the glasses are staying on in these situations with your sticky tape. Shoot. You're on a bouncy castle? No, there's no happening. Okay. I hope they're not going to get progressively harder, these situations. Logflume?

I think it's a 50-50 chance. You want to chuck one in L? Well, the obvious one is, you know. Here we go. You know what's happening. The beast with two back. You've been to watch F1, the new film at the local Everyman Cinema. You've had a glass of white wine.

And do you think to sup, I love my wife. Yeah. You've come home, you've lit some candles. Those candles have set fire to the curtains. The house is now on fire. You're running out. Do the glasses stay on? Genuinely, I'm a tree.

Do they stay on? I want to know. The candors are far bigger than you'd realize they're so big, actually. They make you sweat instantly on the glasses of coming. And they're also so big, it's emasculating in the bedroom. And you think I should have got those little table lights. Why didn't I get the table lights? Do you know, there was a thing in the Guardian today, and I didn't read the article,

but I saw the headline and thought, what is happening in the world? And the article headline, it was in the relationships category of the website, And the headline was, my boyfriend will not stop drinking from a water bladder during sex. I saw that. I saw that and had exactly the same thought. How thirsty is the guy getting? And how long is it lasting? Then he needs to have a drink break.

Like it's the 1994 World Cup. It's the daughter of rats. And the Irish team aren't used to the heat of California. It's like a B plot in the movie. where he's trying to conceal the fact he's actually a mermaid. I have to keep constantly refreshed. I don't know if you saw, the illustration that accompanied that headline was like a hospital water bladder,

or you might administer some drugs into your veins. But it was tied to the top of a four poster with a tube hanging down. What? Like a hamster? Yeah, that's exactly what I thought. Like a hamster. A sex hamster. Like he's a horny hamster.

A horny thirsty hamster. That's exactly what I thought. A horny hamster, a four-post of bed. I'm now imagining him coming into the bedroom naked in one of those, in a massive plastic ball rolling it like a hamster. Everything is hamster-based. It's all hamster-roll. Or he's walking into the bedroom, naked.

Can't wait to get down to it. The date's gone really well. But he's got like those baseball caps. Homer Simpson wears at the baseball, where he's got like two cans of water, straw straight into the mouth. And he's like, listen, okay, I get thirsty, all right? And that's just me, okay?

I can say confidently, if that ever happened to me in that situation is where I got thirsty, I wouldn't need to have a drink because I can guarantee it won't be long until I get to have a drink. It's not an hour and a half off. Can you go 30 seconds without water? Yeah. Yeah, it's remarkable. The horny hamster.

Wow. I'm imagining not a bed either. It's just like a massive pile of sawdust. By the way, those hats with two drinks on and the straw at the Homer Simpson wears, I've always wanted a hat like that. Yeah. I don't know what's stopping me. Pride, self-respect.

It's like those sort of, like your glasses stickers, it's sort of solving a problem that I didn't think existed. But I suppose baseball is like the cricket, it lasts all day. You know, you don't want to miss, you don't want to miss a pass. did you play, so you just sit there with your beers going straight into your, going straight into your mouth from your baseball cap. I actually, I have a glasses-based invention I've thought about in the past,

which I'm almost cautious to mention on this podcast in case someone nicks it and becomes a billionaire. But you'd be time stamping it. Okay, good. This is great. Okay, so I'll give you the date that I'm saying this. It is the 31st of July 2025. Five per seven. even thinks for a second

that they can outwit me and stick this on Amazon and become a millionaire before me then you probably can actually you definitely get away with it now I constantly lose my glasses and then they all appear again in the house when I sit on them

and I break them in different ways and one of the ones I broke about it's about a year and a half ago the arm came off so I had a pair of glasses with just one arm left okay I remember this Look great in the writer's room by the way

We were working together There was a period when I wore them To a writer from a true Including one day when I had to The other arm fell off And I had to sell a tape into my head Which wasn't dignified So like

I had like a monobrow Of cellar tape across my forehead My glasses dangly off it Anyway before that point I realised that by wearing the one arm glasses When I was watching telly I could lie on the sofa And rest my hand on the side of my head

where there was no longer an arm and it was comfortable and they would remain on because of the other arm and I could watch telly they're the perfect telly watching glasses if you're watching telly wearing two armed spectacles

you can't lean your hand there is money in that I think it's a good idea genuinely I've also got another idea for people like Tom Crane rubber glasses that are unbreakable rubber glass

oh that's really good isn't that what Edgar Davids used to wear That exists, doesn't it? Tom, why don't you just start looking and dressing like Edgar Davids? No, but I think, but I've got a question there. Where's the rigidity coming from? How is the arm acting as an arm if it's rubber? As Mrs Crane often says,

how is the arm remaining an arm if it's rubber? There's an element of rigidity, but because it's rubber, it's basically impossible to snap. I've just realised they exist out They're called swimming goggles Yeah, I was going to say But that's what Edgar Davins were essentially Fancy Swimming Goggles

Yeah, prescription swimming goggles Yeah, there you go ahead Prescription swimming goggles for the idiot in your life Look like normal glasses And if you wear them out and about People aren't thinking Yes Just come from the pool

And forgotten to take your dog as well Yes, yes Okay, that's fine I'm genuinely intrigued Any listeners out there Who think that my one arm glasses thing is a good idea Do contact the show And if I get 100,000 likes

via email for this idea I will contact industry or whoever you contact and I'll get it going I'll speak to the guy from Diary of CEO you could call them like your telepal oh I'll just put on my telepal

telepal telepath that's good I wonder Lucraine if you're not putting your glasses if they're not secured around like your ears they've got to go up

vertically round your head kind of like I'm imagining Borat's Mancini but on your face like they're strapped vertically to your face they're not strapped at all

it's just an a pair of glasses, but it's only got one arm. That's the idea. Literally the idea. So one arm rests on the other rear, the other hand is support, you know, the side of the head supported by the hand. I think there's something in it. Could you not get prescription lenses and then it's just no arm at all? And then you just attach them with sucker pads to your eyeballs. Is that possible? The contact lens. No, no, but outside of the eyeball, because I can't wear contact lenses. Right, right, right.

Because I will not put anything in my arm. In my eye. I'm not willing to poke around with a finger in my eyeball. I've been to the opticians. We've given to go, I can't do it. So they're prescription lenses attached to sucker pads, like sort of kids' toys that stick to windows and things, but they actually stick to your eyeballs.

My worry is the vacuum pressure sucks your eyeball out there. Yeah, there'd be a couple of death seat per annum. That's going to happen. What about a glass space helmet that has your glasses prescription baked into the glass? Okay, that's a terrible idea. Keep going. Or like it's like an astronaut.

Like an astronaut, yeah. So whatever the pressure you can see without glasses. Oh, hang on, a snorkel mask. You'd be able to rest your face on a snorke. Because obviously it's a rubber, it's not arms, it's a rubber strap. Yeah. So if you had a prescription snorke, you could watch telly, can you? Why don't you putting them on at the cinema?

It's a final option, which is just a much bigger telly. That's the other option, isn't it? Oh, yeah. Huge. Yeah. Like, when I've been to Alex Brooker's house, his telly is always bigger than the last time I've been. And it's genuinely, I don't know if you've been there, skull. It's like the IMAX.

It's unbelievable. He's like watching Arsenal and the players are real size. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So funny. They're like, Odergaard is six foot tall. He's literally six foot. He's there. It's just mad. But good on him. Good on him. Well, there you go. If you think it's a good idea. Or have you got any ideas for sort of like spectacle inventions to push the world forward. Do get in contact with the show. I'd love to hear them. I'd love to read them out. And if they're good, I'd love to nick them.

Shall we get into today's episode? Today's episode is another part of our Alexander the great 10-part series. I think it should be a really fun one, actually. It becomes more and more exciting as we get further and further into this story. The guy is quite perhuman, I think we'd agree. Pretty impressive things he's achieved. This is the excellent thing about this history podcast, Tom, is that you're trying to find the words to describe Alexander without saying he's great. They've figured this out.

History has figured this out. He's Alexander the great. You don't, you know, it's there in his CV. He's great. It's fine. Well, as a writer, a joke writer, one thing I hate more is a repetition of a word in close vicinity in two sentences. That also refers to the audio medium. So absolutely, I'm skipping around.

We all know what I want to say. But I can't. So in today's episode, I'm going to be talking to you about Alexander's turn towards Persia and what happened there. And later on I'll be talking about Alexander and how he consolidates his power. I'm going to be talking about the death of his father, which is obviously an enormously significant moment in his life. But before that, shall we do a little bit of correspondence? Oh, yes, please.

A bit of great correspondence on this Alexander the Great episode. This is from Tim Bunce, superb name. That sounds like a sort of character in Carol Dahl novel. Oh, no, Boggis Bunce and Bean, we want to think about. Oh, yeah, fantastic. What a lovely name. Love that, Tim Bunce. Well done for your name.

Tencent Beer Night Riot is the time. of the email. Hello, History Boys. On the latest episode, you asked for any ill-conceived marketing ideas. Indeed, we did, Tim. I would like to draw your attention to 1974's 10-cent beer night at Major League Baseball's Cleveland Indians versus Texas Rangers. It's hard to argue your marketing was a success when it has its own Wikipedia with sections titled Problems from the beginning and The Riot. Wow. Some of the sections. Okay. In summary, this is remarkable. At this game they sold 5 to 6% beers which usually cost

65 cents at 10 cents there was no limit on how many you could purchase that feels like an early mistake doesn't it it feels like the kind of mistake that someone in marketing made who doesn't drink yeah absolutely

and who doesn't realise how people who do drink act when beer is suddenly 10% of the price it's like a free bar give me a free bar I will go insane Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you'll also sort of, if it's a free bar generally, you start drinking drinks you've never thought about drinking before. Let's just say, let's give that a go. It's green. I don't know what it is. I've seen that on holiday, never tried it. We'll try it now. 25,000 people showed up, double what they expected. Yeah, no great surprise. A contemptuous game on the field suffered constant interruption from pitch invaders, fire crackers and other objects being thrown onto the field at players. Not great. hundreds of home fans stormed the field

attempting to attack the wayside with any makeshift weapons they could find and the home team had to help escort the wayside into the clubhouse with bats where they stayed locked in until police could disperse the rioters and escort both teams from the stadium kind of regard to him

so it's like a proper full-on riot I mean it all comes down to that no limit that's the thing that's what's shot them in the foot there is it no limit I've never committed a cock up at work so bad that people have been in danger. A riot never followed. Yeah, yeah. Like I've cocked up at work and I've forgotten to do things but I've never...

The person whose idea that was, their heart must have just sank when they realised what was going on. But what do you think would happen now in 2025 if there was a 10 p pint of beer offer somewhere? Do you think people would flood there and you'd have a similar scenario? What would happen, let's say, what would happen if that happened at West Ham, for example? Genuinely, if it's 10 per your beer, how is that changing the game and the atmosphere? And let's have a situation that West Ham are losing two, Niltapal. It doesn't take much for the atmosphere to turn very toxic. But, like I've been to watch Wales play Belgium several times in Belgium,

and the beer is so strong. You turn up at the ground. People are asleep. It's, you know, like completely out for the count because they're not used to it. And if you, because also people would see it as a challenge, that's the thing. Yeah. If you, if you were in a situation where you could drink beer with your mates and it was, you know, tens, even if it was fifth, even if it was pound a pint, like beer hasn't been a pound of pint in this country, in the UK for since the early 1990s. We're also not factoring in something crucial here.

which is football, of course, is an hour and a half with one 15 minute interval in the middle, a half time. Baseball is built for sort of long-term sustained drinking. It goes on for like three hours. It's rowdy cricket. It's so slow. There's so many breaks for you to go to the bar, and it doesn't matter if you miss it.

It just doesn't matter. Imagine it at the cricket. The game lasts five days. Wow. Five-day test magic, In the visit India, it's 10 be a pint. The Oval. I'm just reading about the 10 cent beer night.

And I've got to thank our editor, Jody, because he sent me this as well, and I was going to read it out. So thank you, Tom, for doing that. But apparently some of the drunkards who stormed the pitch, some of them were throwing firecrackers, while some others were openly smoking marijuana. You'd think that would chill them out? You'd be like, crack on, lads, wouldn't you? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You'd want them chilled out. People were smoking weed in the...

Yeah, yeah. But it's like when I went to watch Wales play Belgium last month. And I walked past some Belgian lads who were smoking splips and drinking 10% lager. I was like, how messed up do you want to get blood? Come on. You're already effectively drinking a pint of wine. Amazing. If I had either of those, I would be asleep three minutes into the game.

Yeah, of course. Either of those. Right. Thank you very much. So, you know, the game ended four three. walking up seven times. Thank you very much for that, Tim. That is a superb

a little bit of info from the past. That's amazing. Ten cents beer night between Cleveland Indians and Texas Rangers. Fantastic. If any of you have other ill-conceived marketing ideas you want to send in,

they're fun. Send them in and here's how. All right, you horrible lot. Here's how you can stay in touch with the show. You can email us at hello at ohwatertime.com and you can follow us on Instagram and Twitter at Oh, what a time, pod. Now, clear off.

So at the end of today's special Alexander the Great, I am going to be telling you all about Alexander's turn towards Persia and all the blood and mayhem that happened after that. I'll be talking about Alexander consolidated power once he became. the king of Macedon. Right, but I'm going to get things started by talking about how Alexander the Great became king. Now, in 336 BC, Philip the 2nd of Macedon

was 46 years old, and he's at the height of his power. So he's corralled the Greeks into an alliance, of which he was sort of the main man, the head honcho. He created a vast army, and he was preparing to invade Persia to write the wrongs of the past and to keep the Greeks together united by a common cause. that's an interesting reason to go to war, isn't it? Right in the wrongs of the past.

Yeah, yeah. Although it is still a thing that happens today. Yeah, yeah. Putin and his claims about Ukraine, which is exactly what it is. Very good point. Yeah, yeah. Now, his son, Alexander, as Tom pointed out earlier on,

as comics, you don't want to repeat the same word, we are going to use the word great so many times. It feels incredibly unnatural, but his son, Alexander, was 20 years old. So he was proven able. as a successor. But there was one last matter before the planned invasion

could take place, the marriage of Cleopatra, Philip's daughter and Alexander's sister, to his brother, in or Alexander I, the first of Epirus. Now, this would cement, dynastic, diplomatic ties, and further enhance Philip's position.

Three of us of children, how would you feel marrying your children off to cement dynastic and diplomatic ties? Yeah, marrying off your children, maybe to your neighbour, so you can knock the two houses through and have one massive detached house on your terrace street. Great shout.

Yes. Of course. Because you'd get a big shared attic. You could do something really good with that. Yeah, knock it through. Or marry the person over the road, the garden opposite, and then have one big long garden, shared garden.

I think you want to spend an afternoon going up and down the street asking to look at people's houses. Can I just have a quick squizz around your house and your garden and just see what you've got? and then after that, after you've taken stop of the real estate options, then you decide on a husband or wife. The house that backs directly onto our house,

I occasionally look over the fence, their garden's bigger than ours. But I mean, if we knock down that fence, chopped down the tree, I mean, suddenly that's a, you know, you've got a decent place for kids to play football then. We're talking five-a-side. Yeah, we're talking a five-a-side football.

pitch this this could work anyway on the day of the wedding at the theatre in Phillips Palace in Iguai he was assassinated by one of his bodyguards and the court was thrown into temporary but bloody chaos I've seen fights at weddings

I've never seen an assassination oh yeah yeah the bodyguard and an assassination by one of his bodyguards wow I mean that's big you had one job yeah yeah yeah yeah so why was Philip kill. Well, the sources can't agree, though they do have certain ideas in common, insults, frustrations, anger, rage and anxiety. The central figure was the assassin, Pausanius. He sometimes describes as a jilted party defending someone's honour, sometimes as a put-up from a conspiracy that involved no less than Alexander and his mother, Queen Olympias.

Whatever the truth is, one-eyed Philip was murdered at his own daughter's wedding reception. Basically, weddings are memorable enough as they are. That's huge, isn't it? You think that bit where they say, does anyone here know why these two shouldn't get married is awkward? You think that bit's awkward. Yeah. Imagine the part of the wedding just after the father of the bride's been killed.

Well, father of the groom. Yeah, an assassination by the guy's bodyguard. I wonder when's the most opportune moment to murder the father of the bride at the wedding. Is it just before the father of the bride's speech, or is it late into the evening when the whole... whole thing is just gone to patience. I would actually say, Chris, it's if the father of the bride's speech is going on a bit and not that great, that is the time to take him down because I think some of the room

will be behind you. That's the time to take him down. Some of the room will be like, thank you for putting us out of our misery. You'd think the bodyguard was like sent to wrap him up and just took his orders to literally. Master of ceremonies. Yeah, yeah. People have been passing around a pint glass, chucking coins and knots in.

It'd been a sort of wager on how long the speech was going to last. Everyone was sort of 15 to 20 minutes. He's done 45 to 50. Someone's like, go on, bump him off. This is beyond a joke. I reckon the easiest time would be just before Father of Bright speech when he's pacing in the sort of, yeah, and running his lines.

He's not concentrating. You know, his mind is on other things. I think that would be the easiest time to do it. There is another time, Al, which is the cutting of the cake where you slip and the knife goes into him. Oh no, sorry, let's just You tend to get a cream on the floor or something You meant to cut the Kate

Unfortunately, you've cut the head of Oh, God, what have I done? Sorry, oh God Right in the jugular Oh, never mind Oh no, what nightmare on your special day Oh God Still, everyone on the dance floor

First dance about to start Oh shit, sorry I like the implication earlier that Philip II of Macedon might be filibustering his father of the bride speech in order to make someone win the sweepstake on how long the speeches would be. Yeah.

There's 42 quid in that pike bus. Go on, mate. Go on. Do the hour. Do the decent thing. Porsoniers didn't live very long after that. So he managed to escape from the confusion at the theatre. Got to his getaway vehicle,

which, because it was 336BC with a horse. Imagine if he'd got into a car. People would be like, what the hell is that? Yeah. Segway. But as he was... But as he was, a line bike. But as he was riding off, apparently to join those who had helped him flee out of Maston.

His horse got entangled and the royal guards caught up with him and he was killed there and then. So subsequent trial led to the death of several other conspirators. Very, very game of thrones, actually. The Red Wedding. Yes. Now, the story is a complicated one and it's made more difficult by the repetition of names. So in the common account, the assassin Porcinius had grown jealous,

because Philip, his former lover, had taken another lover, also called Porsenius. So to get his own back, the first Porsonius, engaged in a smear campaign against the second. To prove himself, the second Porsoniers, then went off to fight on Philip's behalf but was killed, an act read by many as suicide, right? So it's very, very complicated.

Enter Tallas, a friend of the second Porsoniers, who now tried to get revenge on the first Porsoniers, by inviting him for a meal, plying him with drink. It's like the baseball, 10 p. a pint. and leaving him to be assaulted by a group of mill drivers. Wow. Who sound hard.

They do sound hard. Mule drivers, they feel like a tough bunch. Yeah, well, I couldn't control a mill. Absolutely, let alone drive one. Yeah, now the first porcineers appealed to Philip for justice, but Philip ignored the request. So Attalus was the uncle of Philip's latest bride, who was also called Cleopatra.

Okay. Do you think, you know, there is a, I think we covered this before when he comes to names that a lot of people, they take their inspiration from the monarchy sometimes and names become popular if a queen or a prince has been named that. Do you think that's what's happened here?

You know, King Philip has named his daughter Cleopatra, so everyone's naming their daughter of Cleopatra. Yeah, and you want... Oh, that's interesting. And you want your kids to sound regal just in case. Yeah. Well, Philip certainly had enemies. Plenty of them.

So one was the Athenian lawyer statesman, Norita, Demosthenes, who was implacably opposed the expansion of Macedon as the principal Greek power. And so he tried to prevent Philip's dominance by creating rebellions. So Demosthenes delivered a series of speeches to this effect. They are known as his Philippics. And in the first of them, he warned that Philip was power-hungry would never be satisfied by conquest. In the second, he warned that Philip was not a man of his word. It sounds like a power slam that, isn't it?

Yeah, absolutely. And in the third, he tried to paint the Macedonians as a man. barbarians and philip's a barbarian king that's drawing on hostile athenian attitudes towards non-greek so there's an awful lot of politics going on there's an awful lot of intrigue there's an awful lot of people who've all got the same name it's a very very complicated story now this hostility lay in the background of philip's assassination so that a conspiracy of some kind involving some of philip's enemies whether they were foreign or domestic was probably not far from the truth of any of them endeavouring to get rid of a man

they felt was too powerful. So Arian even suggests that Alexander came to believe the Persian King Darius and had bribe prosonyers to commit murder just to add a further line of inquiry. Obviously, it's impossible to find out because it's so long ago. But an awful lot of people wanted to bump him off.

Wow. I mean, I get that, but the guy, you know, his daughter's getting married. Yeah. I've all the... Surely there's easier ways as well. It's for the bodyguard. You're with him all the time. And load of witnesses. Yeah.

Why do it then? At minimum, this is a 300-person wedding. And they're all going to be largely on his side if they're invited. Yes, good points. You would do it after everyone's gone home, after breakfast on the following day. So everyone's woken up, everyone's a bit of hungover. They're all having breakfast. Oh, it's a really nice day, wasn't it?

Oh, he was a nice day. It was such a nice. I was such a nice. Do you know, it was even better than I'd imagine. Anyway, we've got a long drive. So we're going to shoot. off. Yeah, we got, we're going to get off as well, actually, because we're actually doing something to, no worries, no worries, see, bye now, bye now, then, that's your time. You don't do it

during the speeches. Now, somewhere in all of these theories and opinions, somewhere in all of these stories lies the truth, but as an ancient cold case come murder mystery, it does leave us and it leaves historians guessing, not least because the only contemporary account we have comes from Alexander's old tutor, the philosopher Aristotle, use the event to make a point in his book on politics, right? Philip says Aristotle was slain by Porcinius for neglecting to revenge him of an affront he'd received from Atalus, so in other words, a citizen can take revenge against a king if the king has behaved improperly or has neglected to provide justice. So it was okay for you to take revenge if that was your perception of the way you've been

treated by the kid? Well, as Curtis explains it in his history of Alexander, the ancient custom of Macedonians saw the king conduct an inquiry into criminal cases and the army passed judgment so Philip had failed to follow through on what was expected of him. Wow. In this reading Paul Seneas the assassin and jilted lover was acting out of an

individual motive, not one that signalled any conspiracy. So why the trial and execution of anyone else? Well, that hints that all was not well at court, that anger and resentment was building up and fusing with the already long established tradition of regicide in

Massadon. Now if you're a king you don't want there to be a long established tradition of regicide to you. That's going to put you on edge at the very least. I know the royal family is all about tradition. That's one of the things that keeps this going, why people love it. Maybe we could drop that tradition.

Yeah, I think we should modernise to an extent. You know, this long tradition of religious side turner. Keep the regalia, lose the long tradition of killing the king. Yeah, yeah, I'll wear a crown. Of course I will. I don't really like the long tradition of regicide. That sort of makes me feel a little bit weird.

Now, Philip's brother, who reigned as Alexander II, had been assassinated during a performance of a war dance. So that wouldn't have been forgotten at court. So one thing is for certain, Alexander the Great, was not involved in the conspiracy. He'd march into the wedding ceremony with his dad, a visible signal to those in attendance, domestic and foreign, that the line of succession was secure, that Alexander would rule once Philip had passed. More than, to the point, Alexander to move quickly once Philip was dead to establish his position as king, for example, or e.g. by getting rid of any potential of Macedonian rivals, including his cousin, Amintus, the fourth, whose power Philip had usurped in 359 BC. So Philip had not

regarded Amintus as a problem, but Alexander had other ideas. Now, had Alexander been a conspirator that he could have chosen his moment, organise his affair so that the succession would have been straightforward, perhaps placated the other Greeks who were itching to rebel against Macedonian rule, that it was not surely discouts him from what happened. No sooner had he been declared king that he faced a rebellion to the south with the Demosthenes again acting as a firebrand and a rouser in chief. So he's 20, his old man's been assassinated at his sister's wedding, he's now the king and he's also sort of in the entry.

first thing, there's a bloody rebellion. You're like, gee whiz, I mean, let him have a honeymoon period at the very least. Wow. Let the man grieve for six months at least. Let the man grieve and just let him get on with, you know, when you go, when you, obviously, politics, weaker's a long time in politics, all that kind of stuff. But still, you want, just after you've won the election, you want to chill out a little bit. Pass a couple of easy laws, you know, the cricketing equivalent of a couple of

quick singles. Get them out the way and then and then you face your rebellions. You don't it straight. He wasn't planning this either. He's 20. He was planning on being in Thailand with his mates for about six months. He wanted to go interrailing and now look what's happened. It's ruined. It's right. He's thinking a young person's railcar is a third off. I've got to take advantage of this whilst I still can't. Do you want my mind-blowing king Philip the second of Macedon fact which I found out today? Yes, please. So as we go through this story. I'm dipping in and out trying to learn different things and put the whole story together in my mind.

So I want to know a bit more about King Philip the 2nd of Mastod. Did you know in 1977 they unearthed a tomb in a guy and they suspected it might be King Philip the second and the body in the tomb they could see skull damage

on the right hand side near his eye. I don't if you remember in a previous episode we covered the fact there. I think it was an arrow wasn't it? Didn't he get a... He got injured in his eye, lost the eye. That's right, yeah. What he needed was a a pair of rubber glasses. Historian, I mean, it's a magnificent tomb with loads of artefacts in it. And there is lots of conclusive evidence, and many historians agree, that they found the

tomb of King Philip II of Macedon. They found his bones. They found the treasures. And there was also a mural in his tomb that many believed to be him and Alexander out on a hunting trip. Well, an astonishing, because that seems so far in antiquity for me to really. wrapped my head around that those things might exist. But they think his tomb was

undisturbed since antiquity until they discovered it in 1977. Wow. Yeah. I wonder what they can tell from his body and from his bones, because they can tell an awful lot of stuff now. Yeah, he had special boots as well.

They're boots that were shaped because he had a broken tibia, so he had a strange deformity in his leg and the boots also were... Like Lucy Brons? Yeah, well, they were amended, these boots that would fit someone who had a broken tibia.

So that was further... It's amazing. Yeah, it's amazing. And something I'd love to go. Since discovering this today, I'd love to go. It sounds amazing. And he had his, most sort of hauntingly, he had his unread Father of the Bride speech in his hand as well, which he'd never got to.

In his back pocket. They read it, and it was full of gags and pathos, and it would have ripped it. A great lot. Well, that's something else we need to bear in mind. If he's walking round with a specially adapted boot because of his broken tibia, He'd have been in a permanent bad mood.

Yeah. Yeah. And he's living in a David Lloyd. Well, that's it for episode three of our 10-part Alexander the Great series. If you want episode four now, and let's not forget, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, you can become an oh, what a time, full-timer, and binge the whole life of Alexander the Great. Plus, you get two bonus episodes every month

and there's a whole archive of bonus episodes to be enjoyed. If you want to get all that good stuff, you can go to ohwattatime.com where you can sign up via WondryPlus or via any podcasting app via another slice. Otherwise, we'll see you again very soon. Bye. Oh,

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