Oh What A Time... - #134 Alexander the Great (Part 5)

Episode Date: August 24, 2025

It’s Alexander vs. Darius in a showdown for the ages. First, the Battle of Issus turns the Persian king into a fugitive and Alexander into master of the Levant.Elsewhere, we’re discussing terrible marketing strategies including the infamous ‘ten cent brawl’. Got another to share with us? [e-mail] you fancy a bunch of OWAT content you’ve never heard before (and the entirety of the mini-series right now!), why not treat yourself and become an Oh What A Time: FULL TIMER?Up for grabs is:- two bonus episodes every month!- ad-free listening- episodes a week ahead of everyone else- And much moreSubscriptions are available via AnotherSlice and Wondery +. For all the links head to: ohwhatatime.comYou can also follow us on: X (formerly Twitter) at @ohwhatatimepodAnd Instagram at @ohwhatatimepodAaannnd if you like it, why not drop us a review in your podcast app of choice?Thank you to Dan Evans for the artwork (idrawforfood.co.uk).Chris, Elis and Tom xSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Hello and welcome to Oh, what a time. This is another one of our Alexander the Great Specials, but before we start talking, about Alexander the Great I would like to talk about how on earth people potty trained their kids in the pre-nappy potty

era and how on earth you got them to sleep you know in their sort of pre-huggies pull-ups age what was happening were you just accepting that their bed was going to be wet you had an awful lot of work to do how did that happen

it's a really good question they used to reuse nappies didn't they You used to, like, when you see that, like, the classic image of a child a hundred years ago, they were, they've got, they're not, they're not nappies as such. They're just wrapped up in, like, cloths, that they'll wash. Well, yeah, and just go again, those nappies would be hung on the, hung on the line. Like, I think my brothers probably had, though, they're not much old than me when they were very young. I often forget you were born in the Victorian era, Tom. I was very much, uh, should we say a surprise, I think it's probably where.

No, no, no, no, not a surprise. I appeared. A gift. Okay. thank you very much that is a good question I imagine there's certain times let's say

I'm imagining like a mud hut in medieval Britain where it would just happen that's fine we just continue to sleep on that bed because it's made of mud and sticks anyway and also before potty training

what was it was it pond training what were they using what were you training them on the bushes training Yeah. I don't really know. It's a good question. Absolutely. My mind is absolutely blown. Have you heard about this parenting technique to potty train your kids when they're like less than a year old? Have you heard this? Well, there's that one and there's the other one where you're like, just wait till the 14. Then they'll just work it out. I can't get on board with either extreme. I will never forget that day in sixth form when I finally figured it out. It would just...

The look on my classmate's face when I had an entirely dry history lesson. Wow, look at that. Annie had a cup and see it break. Yeah. I've heard that that approach, I think, is not a very kind thing to do, basically.

I think it's now, but it's been discounted as a thing. Yeah, I think it's actually quite cruel. Yes, I've also heard that. I've heard that it has swung back. We're like, wait until they're in the 20s. And then you don't get a complex about it,

but from the fact that you're still, you know, You're still wetting yourself for the age of 19. People figure it out, don't they? Like driving, you just figure it out in the end? You never introduced to someone at work. He's just Mark, he's a new head of HR. And by the way, he's not potty train. You know, like, the thing that always I think about with astronauts,

I remember, I don't know where I, I think I went to the Houston Space Center and learned about this, but obviously astronauts, when you're getting into the rocket ship ready to go, like you could be in there at 9 a.m., but you may not actually take off to, like, three in the afternoon. So obviously you can't get up and go to the toilet. So you wear an adult nappy.

Is that true? Yeah. So all the action are, Neil Armstrong, Buzz Aldrin, when they're in their fake moon studio jokes, when they're on their actual, on the rocket, they,

yeah, they're being wearing nappies and they would have to poo themselves if they needed to go and they can't go to the toilet, they're going to have to poo themselves in their astronaut nappy. Now, that is the number one thing I think about when I think about astronauts because I'm not sure

whether could you bring yourself to actually poo yourself in an adult nappy? But also, right. Also, you're Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin you're in space you've got all of the nerves

the attendant nerves that come with being in space the final frontier you've got all those instruments to read and try and assess you're at zero G's you're in a nappy so inevitably

you're going to get nappy rash Can you imagine trying to concentrate at zero Gs with nappy rush? It'd be a bloody nightmare. And that is the unspoken truth of the Apollo mission. Having a good old scratch. ...puting talcum powder on Neil Armstrong's ass at zero gravity. Yeah, talcum powder. How on earth do you apply that at zero cheese?

What worries me most is, I don't want to get too disgusting about this, but the risks of a full nappy in a weightless. Yeah, where everything can float. Don't take it off in a hurry. Please tell me that's tightly around your waist. Oh my God. But also, like, my dad was obsessed when I was very young with acting like an handelt. So, for instance, I was still drinking ribina or whatever at the age of 10.

And my dad would say, do you want a cup of tea? And I go, no. And he'd say, oh, what are you going to do when you had an important meeting at work? or Tony wants a cup of coffee or Judith wants a cup of tea What Ellis want Aribina People are going to laugh for you

No one's going to take you seriously in the workplace And the other big one Was I was often told a story about someone And she was still sucking her thumb in the office Yeah So again it's like Neil Armstrong He's regressed to having to wear a nappy Like he's three

Well you know that I went through a brief period In my early 20s of sucking my thumb again When I gave up smoking And I regressed to sucking my thumb briefly I didn't want to bring that up And how How did you find that? It was something I kept secret

I had a technique of making it look like I was itching my nose When I was actually sneaking my thumb in for a little sick And people didn't know And I also On transport I would lean against a window like I was sleeping Little did the other people know On the first Great Western to Bristol at 445 That I was having a little son

Can I see the technique? Yeah, let's have a look at the technique. Oh, actually, I just did it again and I immediately had to say my thumb out because it's so good I can't allow myself to get. You're just putting your thumb in your mouth but just covering it with your other hand.

As soon as I did that, I thought that is... Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's the equivalent of me going, show me what it was like when you took heroin. Just have a little bit now and tell me what it's like. Now, here's a story from my past. Miss Johnson, my primary school teacher, used to always tell me off

every day for sucking my thumb. What are you doing? You shouldn't be doing it. You're sick. What are you doing? You shouldn't be sucking your thumb. I came in from break time once. She was asleep on the beanbag

and she was sucking her own thumb, Ellis James. Wow. You're right to look that shocked. Absolutely. At that point, I realized that it's an unfair world we live in. I thought you're going to say,

I thought you're going to say she was asleep at the beanbag, so I sucked her thumb to see if it was as good as mine. Nothing is as given for this. Absolutely. Let's have a few seconds in your thumb. Well, I can show you, but I'm not willing to put it in my mouth.

Why? It'll be chasing the dragon again in no time. It's like somebody who's given up smoking. You wouldn't say, oh, go on. Show me how you smoke. Just a quick drag on this fag. Okay, so here we go. So this is what it would be like that.

But I'd be like, it's just covering one hand. He's covering his thumb-sucking hand with his other hand. I've just tried it. I just don't know it. Just to wrap up this little story of weirdness, the way I got over it, any thumb-suckers listening, who were trying to kick the habit I would tuck my thumb into my palm

like this so that the thumb was not out in the open and easily suckable and now even today when I'm feeling stressed my wife will point out if I'm stressed about something because I still do that I put my thumbs into my hands

so if I'm worried about something and I don't, often I'm not even aware I'm worried about something if my thumbs are in my palms then that's the giveaway. We used to do on the show with John we did a very popular feature

that we've stopped now I don't know why we stopped doing it called the weirdness amnesty where if you did an odd thing you'd email us and we'd say it's an amnesty you carry on you do you get it off your chest

nothing's weird not on this show you'd have been an endless well absolutely my mum even tried she got that stuff you paint on your thumb which makes it taste disgusting

but I'd suck my way for that and I'd get back down to the air I get back down to the good stuff I knew what was waiting for me So it doesn't taste nice then What the stuff you paint on your finger It tastes disgusting

No no no no Your own normal thumb No it's just taste It doesn't really It's not really a taste thing It's more a It's a pacifying thing Isn't it from your child or whatever

But yeah I'll just be clear I don't do that anymore I'm now Yeah I'm a pretty cool A pretty cool guy No no because you're hard lad Stone Island wearing hard lad Exactly

So, today's episode once again is about, I'm sure, a fellow thumb sucker is Alexander the Great. A man's so hard, and he sucked his stomach, it came clean off, sucked it right off his fist. We've got a good episode today. This should be really exciting. As you mentioned last time, he's already sort of conquered various places, killed a billion people. But as our historian, Dr. Darrell Leeworthy pointed out, that was the easy. bit and things are now going to get really tough for Alexander the Great. So in today's episode, I'm going to be talking to you about his move into Egypt and how he does a classic sort of mad leader thing that a lot of mad leaders have done. I'm intrigued to see your reaction to it. And in my section, Alexander, he gets to the border of modern day serious where

he meets a man called King Darius the Third El. Yes. And obviously that is a particularly combative, fiery affair, and I'll be talking about that in part three. But before all that, now about a little bit of correspondence. Oh, yes, please. Wonderful. This email today comes from Johann Roberts. It says, hello from sunny South Africa. Hi.

I love an overseas email. Thank you so much for getting in contact. I'm a new listener, but I'm working through all the episodes at Pace. I absolutely love the pod. It's super funny and entertaining. Oh, well, thank you very much. Really appreciate that. now this is quite a long email there's lots of great stuff in there but i'm going to pick out a particular bit

which i loved johanna says i was really enjoying your episode on famous trees recently and i was wondering if you're familiar with the internet legend of the arborist who took revenge on the city council of redondo beach california have you heard about this oh no this is fantastic okay so this is right we did a while ago we did an episode on famous trees which actually is weirdly one of the episodes we get a lot of stuff about still today it seems to it's people we've got a tree-loving community, which is a good thing, of course. So it says, the mayor of Rodondo Beach, California, forced this man to cut down his beloved 30-year-old pepper tree.

So he had a pepper tree in his garden. So in retaliation, he secretly planted, this is unbelievable, 45 California Redwoods and 82 giant sequoias in parks, yards, and public spaces all across the city. Because of their massive root systems, it would cost the city council upwards of $1,500 per tree to remove them. I haven't been able to verify the story, but I think it's just the most beautiful form of petty revenge.

He's given a link here to, which we talked about it. He's at horse suggested here, maybe you could do an episode on petty revenge. Isn't that amazing? So the guy was so annoyed about having to cut down his tree that he went around the city and just planting loads of these trees that he knew the council would have to pay thousands of pounds of rip up.

Remarkable, really. Stubberness is a very interesting. It is interesting trait, isn't it? It is, yeah, absolutely. I'm not stubborn in the slightest. But, you know, what it struck me about, did you, if you watched the Michael Jordan documentary on Netflix, the last dance about the great Chicago Bulls basketball team?

Yeah. One of the best documentaries ever seen, yeah. And have you seen people when they clip up the thing he keeps saying, which is, well, I took that personally? Like, another player trying to be good, he takes that as a personal affront. Or another team, and even his, his teammates. Everything is a personal affront and he's so stubborn that he has to be the best

in the world because he's taken everything so personally. I think I'm too balanced and well-adjusted to be successful. That's what I took from that. What do you think Michael Jordan's reaction would be to catching me sucking my thumb at the age of 23? I think he'd slap your thumb out of your mouth. I'm doing a six-part Netflix series called The Last Suck, which is about me giving up, sucking my thumb, my early 20. It's not been green lit yet, but I'm feeling really optimistic about it. I think, I mean, it's interesting that documentary

because he has a, you're quite right out, he has a mindset that is so alien to me. So many decisions he makes throughout it are just so brutal and completely. He just, there's no real care for the feelings of others. He just does whatever is required to ensure success. And it's, you know, he was an incredible, basketball player, one of the most important sports people of all time.

But there is a mindset that you have or you don't. I think Alexander the Great, I think we could probably say, had that mindset as well if we're looking for a link here. I don't think he was full of self-doubt. Is he the Michael Jordan of War? What an amazing description for Alexander the Great, the Michael Jordan of War. Unfortunately, he didn't patent sandals in the way that Michael

Jordan patented the trainer. Yeah. Because otherwise he'd have gone on to become, to be a billionaire as well as, as well as a very successful general. His one regret, he said, he did not paint in sandals. So thank you very much for sending that in your hand. That's really interesting. If you have any other stories of petty revenge, things that you've seen, possibly local

to you, that's often how people know about these things. They may not even be in the news. It's just things that have been discussed in your local community where some nutter has done something crazy like that. And it beggars belief, do get in contact with the show. We live in 2025. There's so many exciting ways to do that. And here's some of them.

All right, you horrible luck. Here's how you can stay in touch with the show. You can email us at hello at oh what a time.com. And you can follow us on Instagram and Twitter at oh, what a time pod. Now clear off Okay So the tale of Alexander the Great Continues

We are now on episode 5 Guys what are you going to be talking about I'm going to be talking about Alexander's move into Egypt I'll be talking about Michael Jordan versus Larry Bird No it's going to be Darius versus Alexander the Great

Versus Scottie Pippin In a three-way dance Right no we're going back to the autumn 333B.C. Alexander has advanced through Western Anatolia. He's reached the borders of modern-day Syria, then a Persian province known as Ebaneri in Akkadian, which means beyond the river. The name refers to lands beyond the Euphrates, and versions of it appear in the Syriac and the Aramaic. These ancient place names rooted in river geology might be of interest to Welsh speakers with parallels in words like Aber, mouth of the river, and Aphon.

Aberr, yeah, like Aberwiswith, or Aberdeen. Yeah. Ah, and Avon is the Welshwit river. Yeah, that's a great fact. Is that, so Abar, Abar, ah, wow. So Abariswith is Abarstweth is Abar Mouth of the River Asphe. Great fact. Very good fact. Yeah.

Also, home to El will agree, the greatest student comedy gig every time. Oh, it was amazing. It was such good fun. When you're starting out as a stand-up skull, you play a lot of dodgy small rooms, basically, on the way up. And then, weirdly, Abruist with Uni was also one of the ones that you'd get quite early on. And it would be like 500 students in the most amazing, raucous room. It was so much fun. And I always, before I started doing them, always assumed that students,

because I was a relatively young man when I was started doing stand-up. I was resumed that stoon of gigs would be like my natural constituency. So I was like 25 or 26. You still think, yeah, you know, I graduated five years ago. I can meet them on my level

and all that kind of, on their level and all that kind of stuff. And it was usually 17 very bashful freshers staring into their plastic pancasts desperately hoping that no one would talk to them, apart from my Everest with it, which is exactly as you imagined it would be. And there'd be 500 people.

It was amazing. What a gig. You felt like a rock star, didn't you? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're right. So it'd be like Monday night, pub gig, three people and a dog, Tuesday night, same, Wednesday night. And then suddenly 600 uni students in this perfect room in Aberystwyth.

And then you'd go out in Aberystwyth afterwards, and everyone would think you were kind of, you know, some kind of star. Yeah, yeah. You'd made four pounds that week or whatever. Yeah, yeah. And backstage, there was always loads of 80 sweets. Great times. Absolutely. Good times. Good on him.

Oh dear. Well, so Alexander, he's marched across Anatolia, and he's been largely unopposed on land, though he does lack naval superiority. But even so, he had already defeated several Persian satraps and firmly established himself as a powerful threat. And it was at this point that the Persian king of kings, Darius III, enters the story.

or at least attempts to. I'm going to say it, I think you'll love Darius III. Right. In contrast to Alexander, who dominates the historical record, Darius remains a much vaguer figure. Roman historian Curtius Rufus describes him as... Curteous Rufus. What was his job?

The Thatcher. Now, yeah, Curtis Rufus describes Darius III. Remember he's the King of Kings as a mild-mannered man. Oh, I think that's quite sweet. a mild-mannered king of kings but he's also prone to the failings of power, greed, arrogance and hubris so how mild-mannered is he really

so come on it's an intriguing combination if I wrote that as a character description in a sitcom the producer would rightly say you have to choose Elaine for one of that that character cannot but it doesn't make sense this man doesn't exist that's just all the traits

I think he's quite amenable, but also, you know, he likes nice clones, nice stuff. Okay. I'm trying to think who would be from history. I don't know. Any of the Soviet leaders, you know, Excite Stalin is like Leonard Brezhnev. He's quite mild-mannered, but he does like a big palace. Unfortunately, we lack surviving Persian records that might give us Darius' own voice. Most of what we know comes from Greek and Roman sources, which are basically...

Alexander's side of the story. That makes Darius seem like a shadow, a foil rather than a fully developed character. But what we do know is that his real name was Atashata and that Darius was his throne name. Before becoming king, he had served as the head of the royal postal system. Right.

He's an administrator. Yeah, yeah. He's a top-level civil server. So he was the head of the post office and then he became king. Not only king, king of kings. He's basically, I think the modern equivalent would be like Greg Dyke becoming king. I'll tell you what, if that was decided by way of postal vote, I know how he's done it. Oh, nice.

It's absolutely twisted the system from the inside there. He had also been a satrap of Armenia, which was a significant military post, after a series of palace intrigues and poisonings that claim the lives of two predecessors, the Persian nobility elevated Arta Shatter to the throne in 336 BC, the same year that Alexander became king of Macedon. So, yeah, some intriguing poisonings. He's Greg Dyke with an edge. One of the palace intrigues that Armandaris was involved in

involved a powerful court eunuch named Bagoas, who had poisoned earlier kings. Darius managed to survive, however, by turning the tables and poisoning Begois before he himself could be killed. Incidentally, this is not the same Begoas who would later become Alexander's lover, a different eunuch by the same name. Gee whiz, it's just,

you never get an afternoon off in 336 BC. It's just constant hassle. It's an intense time. There's a lot. So many assassination attempts. You're so close. to death at all times in this era, it seems, if you're in a position of power. Yeah. Who's that? I said a eunuch of fucking hits him.

He's offering me another glass of poisoned wine, which I'm obviously not going to bring. I'm not an idiot. Why did I leave the poster, postal service? So much better, I'd have a good pension. So once in power, much like Alexander had to, Darius had to set about consolidating his rule. He crushed a rebellion in Egypt and even repelled a Macedonian raiding party sent by Alexander to test the Persian defences.

So in short, Darius, excellent administrator, but definitely no coward. By the time the two rulers met in battle at Isis in November 333 BC, both had proven themselves competent military leaders. The outcome was far from certain. ancient sources as ever relish the drama of the battlefield said it before said it again do it at night why are we out here inside broad daylight factor 40 is 2,000 years away dress entirely in black and do it at night that's the answer isn't it black leggings black roll neck soft sole shoe yeah lovely

pair of tombs done nice courteous describes the persian army's spectacular display silver altars carrying sacred fire Magi chanting hymns hundreds of young men in crimson cloaks and even a giant horse known as the sun's steed the army was a moving pageant of imperial wealth

and ceremonial grandeur and on ceremonial grandeur I can only speak from my own experience but having played Power League when you come up against a team with nice new kits and nice shir on your new boots doesn't mean they're any good

are you guys also imagining all of this with a postman at the front I just said like that's why I'm seeing it is a red shoulder back yeah exactly I love the fact they wear shorts all your own

that is such an underrated aspect of the postman's bonkers but you know skin dries quicker than trousers that's what they say isn't it do you know my postman when I see him he's always in such a rush like he's rush

but I'm just like you're obviously in the postal game for life at this point why are you rushing around there'll be more letters tomorrow there's going to be letters forever I think unfortunately they're set mad targets

the age where there's sort of the I think Postman Pat is a very very misleading portrayal of the postman's life It's like eight houses in Summervale wherever he lives I got where okay

absolutely what are you expecting from your postman are you want to come in read your letters with you I want him to chill out a bit want him to chill out It's like, you can't stop running around. Anyway, so there you go. You've got Darius's army.

It's impressive. Now, by contrast, Curtis paints the Macedonians in more austere terms. Their helmets are not gleaming with gold, but with iron and bronze. The grim colours of real warfare. To use the Power League analogy again, it's off of the teams who turn up in all different shirts that are really good. Geography helped Alexander. The battlefield at Isis was a now. coastal plain, bordered by the mountains on one side and the sea on the other.

This limited the ability of Darius' much larger army to outflank and envelop the Macedonians. What might have been overwhelming numbers for the Persians actually became a logistical disadvantage. And I mean, Darius, logistics, operations, this is your strong point. So his army was too big. And it's too narrow. Wow. too narrow mountains on one side sea on the other what mattered

was tactics we've all been on a stack do haven't we when there's too many people there and it loses all shape if I've been if I'd been in that army I'd be right at the back yeah yeah yeah carry on I'll bring up the rear okay cheers guys as soon as you hear Daria's saying

the problem is there's too many of us I'm immediately hands up do you know what in that case let me make this easier for you If need be, I will I'll leave Just for the good of the army I'll leave I don't have to go paintballing

I'm fine just to go to the pub Actually? Is anyone else? Should we just knock down on the head? If I'm in Daris of Third's army You're right El I'm hanging around at the back I'm waiting to see how this is going

Before I'm like, right I'm mucking in now I think actually But there's a danger with that That they then attack As a surprise from the back And now you're at the front So I think what you want to do

It's like a young baby penguin in the Antarctic. You want to be in the middle of the huddle. Surrounded by the... Being kept warm by the bigger boys. By the bigger penguins, exactly. So, it's Alexander versus Darius, the Persians versus the Macedonians. The battlefield is mountains on one side,

see on the other, there's too many Persians. It's a bit of a nightmare. Now, tactics and leadership matter more than sheer scale in a battle like this. Before the battle, Alexander reportedly gave a speech to his men invoking the memory of Xenophon's 10,000, a famous group of Greek mercenaries who, nearly a century earlier, had fought their way through the Persian Empire without cavalry or supply lines. If they could do it, Alexander said, so could we. Well, the Battle of Isis

was hard fought, but ultimately Alexander's combination of cavalry charges, infantry discipline, and personal leadership, as well as the wrong postal stamps on lots of letters, confused and overwhelmed the Persians. Well, Darius was finally chased away by an angry dog, as all postmen are, at the end of a ship. Thinking to himself, this could have been an email. Exactly, yeah. They overwhelmed the Persians. Darius, sensing the tide-turning, fled, not just the battlefield.

but his entire camp he legged it the result was absolute chaos the Persian lines collapsed Alexander's forces broke through and captured Darius's wife his mother and two daughters who had been traveling with the royal entourage

he also seized the Persian treasury and many luxury items from the king's court including all the first class stamp books That's obviously not true. What Aryan calls, the various... He said, who is your king? And he said, well, look at the top right corner. Oh, yeah, that's that guy.

So look for someone who looks like this. Side on. Yeah, so he's absolutely raided the Persian treasury, and he's got what Aryan calls the various paraphernalia, which the luxurious life of a great king seems to require. It was decisive and a humiliating loss for Darius. But not yet the final defeat. Alexander marched south into the Levant.

The city states of Phoenicia, including Biblos, Beirut and Saddam, surrendered or joined him willingly. Saigon had rebelled against Persian rule a few years earlier and sought in Alexander an opportunity for autonomy. These coastal cities also supplied him with ships and sailors. I mean, he's already pretty good on land. Now you're going to let him rule the waves. Oh, boy.

The Phoenicians... This is the one thing we didn't want to happen. The Phoenicians were renowned seafarers, and with their support, Alexander began to build a fleet. Only one Phoenician city resisted Tyre. And Tyre was partially located on an island just offshore and believed itself to be impregnable. I mean, history is littered with examples of people thinking their situation is impregnable.

Yeah, yeah. I mean... It's like the Titanic being unsignable, isn't it? Absolutely. If I've learnt one thing from history, it's do not let Hubris get in the way. Yeah, yeah. Because you will regret it.

You will pay the pies. I think if I was getting onto a boat and someone said, don't worry, this is unsinkable. I would now have to say, why have you said that? Why have you been floated that? Just don't need to, now I'm thinking it's, I'm going to get off now.

It's why you'll never hear me say, well, West Ham won't go down this year. Yeah. It's why if I'd got on the Titanic I'd have put a bet on before I got on saying a shot that's sink actually So then as long as it was sinking I'd think to myself

Well at least I've made money If I survive this I'm up a fibre It's not all bad So there you go Phoenician City called Tyre They're all going Don't worry, we're impregnable

What Followed Obviously was one of the most impressive feats of Alexander's early career The Siege of Tyre For seven months his forces laboured to build a causeway a land bridge nearly 800 metres long. Imagine this, from the mainland to the island.

And I mean, that's what's scary if you're on the Isle of Tyre. You're watching this army build the bridge to come to. So in this instance, you can see it coming. And you're thinking to yourself, he strikes me as a guy who gets stuff done, who gets stuff done and who gets what he wants. Oh, dear. So they're building a bridge across the water.

and they're seeing this bridge get closer and closer. Is that what's happening? Yeah, that's exactly it. That is one of the scariest things I've ever, genuinely one of the scariest things I've ever heard. It would be so slow, but so inevitable. Yeah. Do you know what as well?

So the Tyrion defenders, they are constantly attacking the people building the bridge across the water. Right. But eventually they're making slow progress day after day. Alexander's people are coming. Eventually they get to the island. they breached the walls and 8,000 Tyrians are killed

and the survivors were sold into slavery. Some escaped to Cartage, the Phoenician colony in North Africa. The causeway Alexander built became a permanent feature, turning the island into a peninsula and there it remains visible today over 2,300 years later. How good is that? That's incredible. That's incredible.

What they should have set up a toll booth. really expensive for Alexander to come across. She would go, we'll have to find another route. We can't afford this. Yeah, you could have to put a little toll on there. I mean, you think how much money the Dartford Bridge makes, this would be making loads more. Yeah, yeah.

There's a little bridge near my house, well, my parents' house in Bathampton, near to Bath, which is the most profitable bridge in Europe for length. It's like a tiny bridge. It literally takes about four seconds to drive across, and it costs a quid. And they screwed up the bypass in Bath, which they spent millions of pounds on,

and it just still this little bridge is the best way to get into town. And it's constant traffic. And it's privately owned. That's the most amazing thing. There's just some family that own this bridge. Constantly just money, money, money, money. What, like real-life trolls?

The council had the opportunity to buy it a few years ago, and it's just this family, just constant money coming here. Good on them. It would really affect your motivation. school to do well. If you're like, listen, Dad will retire and then I'm just a bridge guy and I'll make absolutely millions. So, yeah, I'm probably not going to do my Master's Jesse, actually. Okay, well, that's it for part five of our Alexander the Great miniseries. We're halfway there. But if you just want to binge the rest of this Alexander

the Great Miniseries, you can do that right now. All the parts are available. for you to listen to if you are an oh what a time full timer for all your options to join the fan club where you get bonus episodes every month and early release episodes ad free you can go to oh what a time dot com and sign up via wonderie plus or another slice and binge all these alexander the great episodes and get all our bonus episodes and support the show but if you want to wait till tomorrow you can do that too we'll see you then bye thanks guys bye goodbye I'm going to be able to be. Follow oh what a time on the Wondry app,

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