Oh What A Time... - #159 Julius Caesar (Part 2)

Episode Date: February 3, 2026

This is Part 2! For Part 1, check the feed!This week we’re tracing the life of one of the most famous people to have ever lived: Caesar! We’ll see his relatively humble origins, we’ll travel wit...h him to Gaul and Britain and finally, we’ll see Cleopatra enter the stage.And this week we’re discussing locksmiths, beers in the bath to calm down and so much more. If you’d like to add to our postbag, you can do so by emailing: hello@ohwhatatime.comAnd if you want more Oh What A Time, you should sign up for our Patreon! On there you’ll now find:•The full archive of bonus episodes•Brand new bonus episodes each month•OWAT subscriber group chats•Loads of extra perks for supporters of the show•PLUS ad-free episodes earlier than everyone elseJoin us at 👉 patreon.com/ohwhatatimeAnd as a special thank you for joining, use the code CUSTARD for 25% off your first month.You can also follow us on: X (formerly Twitter) at @ohwhatatimepodAnd Instagram at @ohwhatatimepodAaannnd if you like it, why not drop us a review in your podcast app of choice?Thank you to Dan Evans for the artwork (idrawforfood.co.uk).Chris, Elis and Tom x Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Oh, What a Time is now on Patreon. You can get main feed episodes before everyone else. Add free. Plus access to our full archive of bonus content, two bonus episodes every month, early access to live show tickets and access to the Oh Watertime Group chat. Plus, if you become an O Watertime All-Timer, myself, Tom and Ellis, will riff on your name to postulate where else in history you might have popped up. For all your options, you can go to patreon.com forward slash O Watertime.
Starting point is 00:00:27 Hello and welcome back to part two of Julius Caesar Let's get on with the show Now Caesar's reputation Unlike Tom the Benevolence It was made on the battlefield Most notably in the region The Romans and it was Gaul Now I've seen the word Gaul
Starting point is 00:00:55 Since I was a little kid and I used to read You know, watch Asterix I've never actually know where it was No, I'm exactly saying I don't know much about them Gaul was the territory that overlap with various parts of Monnet, France, Belgium, Germany, Italy, Luxembourg, the Netherlands and Switzerland. It's a really big bit of Central Europe, yeah.
Starting point is 00:01:18 So the dominant culture of pre-Roman goal, oh dear, your friend of mine, was Celtic. Oh, I knew we mattered. I knew somewhere along the line somewhere we mattered. The question is, Elle, how did you let it slip through your fingers? Yeah. And the Kelthai, this is what the people seem to have called themselves, that is if Caesar is to be believed, right, the Kelthai.
Starting point is 00:01:48 Now, the military campaign described by Caesar in his commentaries on the Gallic War, began in 58 BCE, lasted until 50 BCE, and it led to the Roman conquest of the region, and even saw Caesar cross the English Channel to Britannia, the first serious attempt to, to anchor Britain, which was seen as a very wayward islands to the Republic. Now, remarkably, and I didn't know this either, almost all of what we know about this period of Roman history and of Caesar's life
Starting point is 00:02:15 comes directly from his own writing. Oh, interesting. He had a blog. And it's still online. You can find it if you look hard enough. It was actually a really long scroll, wasn't it? Yeah. So his blog, the commentaries on the Gallic War, were penned by Caesar during the eight years of conquest.
Starting point is 00:02:33 and designed him to speak directly to the peoples. It was a bit like his version of truth social. My worry there, Al, is quite how truthful it is in that case. It feels a little bit. Yeah. So otherwise news of his activity in Gaul and later Britannia to pass through the Senate where it was subject to the interference of his several enemies. So as a result, the language is very straightforward, it's direct,
Starting point is 00:02:55 and it's partial that is to Caesar. So it's through his eyes, through Caesar himself. Through his eyes, we encounter his Celtic opponents. And they've got some crazy names. Dvichaiicus, the druid, his brother Dermnorix, the Gallic king, versing etterics, and the Helvetic king, Ogatorix. And it's through his eyes as well that we get a glimpse to the peoples of Southern Britannia.
Starting point is 00:03:17 And in a sense, however much it was designed for propaganda of the druidic religion. If you look at his accounts, we can understand what he was reading, how influenced Caesar himself was by gossip, field reconnaissance, battlefield experiences and so on. So, for instance, his portrait of the Celts and the Druids in particular followed an earlier account by Greek scholar called Posidonius. But his aim, the Caesar's aim, was to show how barbaric the Celts were. It makes sense to me. And how extending the hand of Rome would bring them into civilisation.
Starting point is 00:03:50 So you wanted to civilise us. So as for his picture of Britain, I think we'll all recognise this. He talked a lot about the weather. That was a big feature in the diaries. Rain, wind, storms. they all batter Cesar's troops as they navigate the channel. But he does suggest that the climate's more temperate than in goals, the colds being less severe.
Starting point is 00:04:10 So basically it's quite a British experience. It's like, doesn't really get that hot. It doesn't get as cold. It's just fucking shit. It's drizzled. It's just drizzle all the time. If you're going to go there, you're going to be wet. Apart from June and July, if you're lucky.
Starting point is 00:04:27 I do get the sense, like, when they came here, they basically looked at us and the way we were living and thought, these guys are. thick. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Absolutely. I totally agree. You know, no running water or sort of...
Starting point is 00:04:39 Yeah. I love Britain, but I've never really understood why the Romans felt the need to come here and conquer it. You know, back then. Because the weather's basically going to be what it is now. It's like, you live in Rome. Could you be asked? Yes, Sally.
Starting point is 00:04:53 So he talks about how he's quite temperate, apart from the island of Anglesi, which Caesar calls Mona, where he says that the winter night was set to be a month long. So later in his book He did a rip sit as a stand-up back then Doing observational stuff on... Yes, he's actually good stuff, isn't it?
Starting point is 00:05:10 Yeah. On life in England. So later in his book, Cesarads to his detail about Britannia and his people, he tells us that the Britons Do not regard it appropriate To eat the hair, the roost or the goose. However, they do breed them for their amusement,
Starting point is 00:05:22 which is a hint, they think, at the very old sport of cockfighting. And he goes on to say most of the island inhabitants, obviously, he's talking about the Celts now, my lot. They do not grow crops, live instead on milk and meat. Now they're clad with skins.
Starting point is 00:05:37 Sounds quite good. All the Britons dye themselves with Wode, which occasions a bluish colour and thereby have a more terrible appearance in battle. They wear their hair long and have every part of their body shaved except their head and upper lip. What I find amazing about that,
Starting point is 00:05:51 the moustache, which is such a big part of Swansea culture. It's like you're going back 2,000 years. Every day was Movember. Pepple in Swansea head moustaches. It's 2,000 years ago. I mean, we were known for it in the 80s and 90s. I were football fans. Oh, Swansea.
Starting point is 00:06:08 Yeah, all Tashes. It was the Tash capital of the world. Fashion really is cyclical, isn't it? Just to be clear, so it's very long hair, mustache and... Shaved bodies, apart from the old tash. And blue, and blue colouring on us. It's a look, isn't it? Braveheart, isn't it?
Starting point is 00:06:24 With Tash's. Avatar. Yeah, I remember Ruce Vans. He was doing an interview when, like, on American Terry. They were very... just did in his Welsh upbringing. And he said, they were like, is Wales cool?
Starting point is 00:06:37 Now is that we've been cool for thousands of years since we used to fight the Romans and paint our cocks blue? Now, we can accept Caesar's description of the weather. We all know what, well, that's like, but this is where they think his imagination has run on. It's quite unlikely that every Britain, even those he saw on the battlefield,
Starting point is 00:06:57 shaved their legs and dyed themselves blue, like cyclists. Yeah. They may have just been cold. They may not have to light themselves blue. Yeah, and they think there may be tattoos were common on the island, more so than among the Romans, for whom tattoos symbolise barbarity rather than creativity, but we may never know.
Starting point is 00:07:13 So we do have Caesar to thank for the popular image of Britain's as woad warriors. And where would Mel Gibson and Braveheart be without that idea? It's basically it's Caesar's stuff. Yeah. So Braveheart, they're nick in Caesar's gear. Now, Caesar's time and goal made him famous throughout the empire, are also very wealthy. And it also meant that his great rivals,
Starting point is 00:07:34 notably Pompey the Great, could hardly contain their jealousy. So in their mind, as well as Caesar's, it was only a matter of time for another civil war would break out, and Romans would once again be asked which side he won. So Pompey the Great,
Starting point is 00:07:47 it just reminds me of Portsmouth football club. Absolutely, yeah, yeah, yeah. A nickname for, like, one of their fans who's always in the cutaway, he always has a top-off in the middle of December. Yeah, top-off and he's covering in tattoos, yeah. Yeah, exactly, yeah. If Caesar could see Fratton Park, you'd be like, oh my God, they haven't changed at all.
Starting point is 00:08:05 Caesar's single arrival and son-in-law, Pompey married Caesar's daughter, Julia, in 59 BC. He was a few years older, so Pompey was born in 106 BC. And he'd sided with Sula, becoming the dictator's protege and in politics, his effective air. So this is a big rivalry now between Caesar and Pompey. And he was set out long before 50 BC. It was a lifelong struggle for power. So whereas Caesar's military reputation was made in Western Europe, Pompey's flowed from his campaigns in the Eastern European,
Starting point is 00:08:37 the Levant to North Africa. So this made him, as well as Caesar, fabulously wealthy, and added millions to Rome's coffers. It is very man-city, isn't it, the Royal Empire? Absolutely. Kind of unbeatable and wealthy. So we'd already been granted the title, The Great by Sula, the echo being of Alexander the Great.
Starting point is 00:08:56 So to add to Pompey's public persona, he endowed the construction of Rome's first permanent theatre in about 52 BC, which came known as the theatre of Pompey. Ken, it sounds like Frank Park. Just call it Fratton Park and I've done with it. So this is situated... Well, today it's a short walk from where the pantheon is,
Starting point is 00:09:14 so that's where it would have been. So when the civil war began in 49 BC, Pompey was expected to win. He had the support of the Roman elite, was by far the most significant general, and had a reputation that exceeded Caesar's many times. over. So Caesar was the underdog. Oh, wow. Which was a position he rather enjoyed.
Starting point is 00:09:30 Early wounds inflicted by Pompey, notably at the Battle of Diracium in Greece in 48 BC. But when the two of them met at the Battle of Farsalis also in Greece in the same year, it was clear that Caesar had the upper hands. So with half the number of troops, about 23,000 compared with Pompey's 40,000 plus, Caesar achieved total victory. Wow.
Starting point is 00:09:51 About a thousand were lost on Caesar's side. Pompey lost as many as 15,000 dead in 20,000. 24,000 captured. That is remarkable. And so he fled to Egypt. Yes, he was a military genius, Caesar. Yeah. That is such an important component, isn't it?
Starting point is 00:10:05 In a good Roman leader, you've got to be good at so many things. And being good in a battle is right up there, isn't it? Yeah, yeah. I mean, nowadays you have to be good on the socials. His Instereals would have to be up to the mark. But, yeah, back then, you have to prove yourself from the battlefield. That's incredible. Those numbers are staggering. It always feels impossible. Yeah. Yeah. Do you know, I can't stop thinking about how awful it would have been to have a tattoo back then?
Starting point is 00:10:36 As in how little sympathy the tattoo artist is having for you when you're saying, please go gently, is this going to hurt? Surely it's going to get infected and all that stuff. Yeah, I mean, would it have been as sanitary as it is now? Probably not. But I reckon the pain is probably the same. I think it would be much worse because the needles now are far thinner. and also they have some kind of empathy or care for you. Whereas then, you're lying back on a haystack or whatever. Whatever it would have been, or some mud. Yeah, I think I'll have left it. Yeah, exactly.
Starting point is 00:11:08 It was a guy who's seven times your side just doesn't care and just wants to get it done. Can you put Swansea City Championship Playoff Winners, 2010, 2011? Actually, no, leave it, leave it, leave it. Just put S. People will get it. It'll be clear what it references. So let's finish the Julius Caesar story for this week.
Starting point is 00:11:38 And we're going back to the ancient world, of course. And now it is possibly one of the most famous relationships in all of history, that between Julius Caesar and Cleopatra. But let's remember that Cleopatra is essentially on the rebound because she's in a relationship, a doomed relationship with Mark Antony. And have to say, as we're recording this, the Brooklyn Beckham, David Beckham, Posh Fice saga has been going on.
Starting point is 00:12:05 And a footnote in that is that at Brooklyn's Beckham's wedding, the MC of the wedding, Mark Antony, called Posh Spice, Brooklyn's mum and Brooklyn to the stage. And that was the first dance instead of Brooklyn and his wife. And it's impossible not to read that and not think of the Roman soldier from 2,100 years ago, Mark Anthony. Yeah. And that he was the MC.
Starting point is 00:12:28 I understand that actual Mark Anthony in 26 is some sort of Latin singer. But anyway. Also, ancient Rome was full of sort of family members doing slightly inappropriate things with other family members. In fact, there's some of that in this section. In many ways, it's also part of that story. Yeah, exactly. So the Mark Anthony Cleopatra of romance doesn't begin with love.
Starting point is 00:12:49 It begins with civil war and with Julius Caesar arriving in Egypt to find a severed head waiting for him picking up from Ellis' section. Wow. What? Like on his doorstep, like a delivery from Amazon. Like Uber Eats. Yeah, neighbor was out. So he left it with him.
Starting point is 00:13:03 I didn't order this. Because before Anthony ever laid eyes on Cleopatra, Rome's internal politics had already collided with Egyptian politics in the most brutal way imaginable. So it's 40 BC. The Roman Republic is tearing itself apart. The two giants at the centre of it are Julius Caesar, the ambitious general, political disruptor,
Starting point is 00:13:22 and Pompey the Great, his former ally and rival backed by much of the Roman Senate. And their conflict culminates in one of the most decisive battles of Roman history. Farsilus in Greece, 48 BC, Caesar wins, Pompey lose, and Pompey did
Starting point is 00:13:40 what most Roman leaders did when they lose and they survive, they run. Pompey legs it, right? So Caesar defeats him, Pompey legs it. And where does Pompey leg it do?
Starting point is 00:13:50 Why Egypt? He's hoping there that he will find safety and support. Egypt at the time was ruled by the Ptolemaic dynasty. A royal family originally descended from one of Alexander
Starting point is 00:14:01 of the great generals, and of course, a very incesty dynasty it is too. They were Greek-speaking rulers governing an Egyptian kingdom, and their court politics were famously vicious. When Pompey arrives in Egypt, though, on the 28th of December, 48 BCE, he wasn't necessarily welcomed as a guest. He was treated basically as a bit of a problem. You know, it's kind of like taken in a fugitive, isn't it? Taken in a fugitive.
Starting point is 00:14:29 The world's after you, and you're like, Oh, God, do I really want to house you? Who's pissed off the world's greatest ever military general? Yes. It does feel like the game's up of that point, isn't it? Yeah. Can I just check who you've annoyed? Oh, Caesar.
Starting point is 00:14:45 Right. Yeah. This palace isn't actually that big. I think there's not really the space at the moment. Sorry, we've got the in-laws staying. I just think it's not greater. Let's have a look at this enemy's list. There's only one name on it.
Starting point is 00:14:57 Ah, Julius Caesar. Right. Now what do you think happens? How do you think the Egyptians treat Pompey? Do they welcome him with open arms like Harry Rednapp on his return to Fratton Park? Or is he treated more like when Harry Rednapp went to Southampton briefly? I'm fearing they hand him back to Caesar, but that might be wrong. Well, the Egyptian court think, well, I'll tell you what,
Starting point is 00:15:19 why don't we do something that will really impress Caesar? He's the new dominant force in the Roman world. Let's make a nice little calculation that's a bit grim to ourselves. let's decide maybe what if we killed Pompey and present Caesar with the proof surely Caesar's going to love us so Pompey lands and then he's assassinated almost straight away
Starting point is 00:15:41 by Lucius Septimus a Roman soldier now serving the Egyptian regime they kill him and they're like right cut off his head keep that as evidence cremate the body and give the head to Caesar on arrival there you go we've killed Pompey happy days so Caesar then reaches Alexandria
Starting point is 00:15:59 on the 2nd of October 48 BC, just a few days later. Pompey's dead. Caesar is presented with the severed head of his former enemy. And, yeah, pretty. Are you imagining that as he turns up, or you imagine that in a party bag as he goes to leave? We've got you something. He's thinking, oh good, is it Haribow and maybe some stickers.
Starting point is 00:16:22 I wonder what this reaction is. And some cake wrapped in a bit of tissue. What'd you do with the severed head of your head? severed head of your enemy. Do you just boot it or do you go? You know, there have been people in my past I've disliked. I don't want to see anyone's severed head. Doorstop?
Starting point is 00:16:39 Could be? I think I'd keep it in the glove box of my car. Just the really frightened people who are looking for Everton, Mints. I suppose as well, even if you do enjoy having the severed head of your enemy, this is a pre-fridge freezer age. So you've only got a late at a point. Yeah, it's got a certain shelf life. Although the Egyptians, boy, can they mummify something.
Starting point is 00:17:00 So they might have owned favour to me. It's one of their big things. They could have preserved it in a way. Don't worry, it'll be fine for 2,000 years. But this moment matters when Caesar gets presented with the severed head of Pompey because... I would hate it. The more I think about it, the...
Starting point is 00:17:14 Can you give it a severed head? Sorry, mate. I hate this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I didn't like the guy. I'd send an email about a week later saying, I'm sorry, I've been stewing on this, but you missed it. I misread that.
Starting point is 00:17:27 Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was a... You completely misjudge what I'm into. That's not an okay thing to give someone. Straight to Google Review. One star. Yeah. I completely agree, Al.
Starting point is 00:17:40 Yeah. For this moment of Caesar getting the severed head, it actually matters because this is the moment where the Rome's civil war hit between Caesar and Pompey crashes into Egypt's royal crisis, and Caesar begins to find himself being pulled into a new conflict. Ah. Because Egypt at this point is ruled by two joint monarchs.
Starting point is 00:17:56 Cleopatra the 7th, and her younger brother and co-ruler, Ptolemy the 13th. And this kind of co-rule happened frequently in the Ptolemaic system, often between siblings, and it ended often as well in betrayal, exile and murder. So Cleopatra had been pushed out of power and was trying to reclaim it, and Ptolemy supporters controlled the palace and the capital. Meanwhile, in Rome, news reaches Caesar that the Senate has elected him dictator for the year, like an illegal emergency office in the Roman Republic, It was only meant for moments of extreme crisis.
Starting point is 00:18:28 In theory, dictatorship was temporary, but in practice, this meant Caesar had a clear route to permanent control. So Caesar is in Alexandria, and he's with a Roman civil wars that's still relatively unfinished. He's got the head of his dead rival, and now he's in the middle of this foreign royal power struggle right in his midst. I've decided what my quip would be, by the way, Chris, when I was handed Pompey's head.
Starting point is 00:18:53 If I was Caesar, I'd say, well, he always wanted to be head of state. And then everyone would really laugh. And then I'd make my eyebrows go up and down like that. What do you mean, head of state, though? Well, head of state, as in head of state, the head of the head. And he's now just ahead.
Starting point is 00:19:11 Tom would be the most in-demand jester in the entire Roman world. And then one day he would make a bad joke and he'd be executed immediately. I've worked out a better version of the joke. He always wanted to be. to be head of state, now look at the state of his head. Very nice.
Starting point is 00:19:30 Actually, now the Egyptians are winning me. I think that's a bit too wordy, actually. I think it's just a sort of... It's a throwaway, is it? Caesar giving the thumbs down at that. What you do, right, you've got it out of view in the bag, in like an old sort of budgins bag or spa bag or something. And everyone's like, oh my God, what did it happen to Pompey?
Starting point is 00:19:51 You say, Pompey? You always wanted to be head of state? And then he pulled it up. and it's the sort of speed of it. You don't really interrogate the joke too much. It's a proper reveal. It's a sort of proper... You could try out and a few sort of smaller rooms
Starting point is 00:20:06 on your way through to see the... Work in progress, yes. Yeah, exactly, yeah. Just a few sort of rooms of servants and stuff. You work in person to the joke. Before you go on stage at the Royal Variety with a severed head. Yeah. So you do at the Machentheth Comedy Festival.
Starting point is 00:20:21 You do ABC and Kennington in South London. Exactly. Do a couple of new materialites in Manchester, monkey barrel up in Edinburgh, just to get a feel for it. You'll get a feel for it if the severed head has lasted that long. So let's enter now into the story, Cleopatra. Cleopatra needed to reach Caesar without being stopped by her brother's guards. And this is where we get one of the most famous legends in ancient history
Starting point is 00:20:45 because the rumour has it that Cleopatra was smuggled into Caesar's presence rolled up in a carpet. But it's one of the few things I know about Cleopatra. Now, interestingly, this story that she was smuggled in the carpet comes from the Greek biographer Plutarch, writing much later. But the carpet was probably a mistranslation. It's more likely to have been one of three things. A sack of bedding, a bundle of cloth or a laundry basket like Jose Marino in that Chelsea game in the mid-Norties where he was banned. And he smuggled in a laundry basket. It feels like she's been smuggled out of a corporate event that she's just died on the last night.
Starting point is 00:21:22 Yeah, absolutely. over the sense so basically this rumour that she was smuggled in the carpet over centuries, especially once Europeans developed a taste for exotic Eastern luxury is thought you know this story evolved into a glamorous Persian carpet she was smuggled in it
Starting point is 00:21:37 that's the thought but whatever the container the point is simple Cleopatra did get a private audience with Caesar and by God she had so much charm because it worked Caesar's support for Cleopatra tipped the balance Egypt's internal crisis escalated into
Starting point is 00:21:52 open conflict, it's sometimes called the Alexandrian War, culminating in the Battle of the Nile in 47 BCE. Ptolemy the 13th died during the fighting. Apparently, he was running away and he drowned. I like that idea. I mean, who knows, but it really condemns him as a cowardly individual in this battle, isn't he, to drown while run away? How can you be running away and fail to notice that the waters now above your head?
Starting point is 00:22:18 I've run too far directly into the sea. I don't know that that's ever happened before, is it? Surely you're always aware that water's getting higher around you. Oh, dear. So you can see bubbles, you've run too far. Looks like there really is the Dead Sea. Oh, that is good. Oh, that's great.
Starting point is 00:22:35 You're on fire. Then you pull out Pompey's head and you go, or should that be the Head sea? Yeah. The problem is that the Dead Sea, you'd float. So you'd just be bobbing on the top with a big head going, sorry, I've messed up a problem. Prop gag. Sorry, I'm a coward who's messed up a prop gag.
Starting point is 00:22:55 So Ptolemy the 13th is now dead. Cleopatra survives. That means Cleopatra is now queen again. But this time she's politically anchored by her alliance with Caesar. Important to note the ages here, because Caesar is 52. Cleopatra is 21. And this is when they start their affair. Now, their affair produces a son, catchly named Ptolemy 15th, Philippaetor, Philomito Caesar. Wow. Better known it to history as Cesar.
Starting point is 00:23:21 It's like when at Elon Musk's kid. Or is it Cesarian? I think it's Cesarian. But anyway, it definitely means Little Caesar. So Caesar returns to Rome in September, 46 BCE, and he celebrates for the series of triumphs. If I'm living in Rome and Caesar is coming back to celebrate something, I think I would get out of the city
Starting point is 00:23:41 because this is the kind of party he likes to throw. So it's not just a party. It was a formal state procession, celebrating military victory, all the loot he's robbed, all the prisoners he's got, the power. It's like propaganda into a parade. It's kind of like a much more gross version of those North Korean military parades, you see, with a massive missiles walking around, except it's like, as I'm going to tell you now, it's horror.
Starting point is 00:24:08 So Pompey had held three triumphs in his lifetime. Caesar held four. But obviously, they're not showing this stuff off. They're like executing enemies. So one grim detail is, Oh, wow. Versingtrix, who was a Gallic leader who was captured. after resisting Rome.
Starting point is 00:24:22 They'd held him prisoner at this point for kind of six years. And then when Caesar's having these big victory celebrations, they put him up there and they execute him. Rome is most brutal. The victory wasn't complete
Starting point is 00:24:35 until everyone was defeated and publicly destroyed. Yeah, not loving it. It's too much for me. I like an open top bus parade. That's what I like. Yeah. Everyone gets a day off.
Starting point is 00:24:51 Exactly. That's fine. Caesar holding up a golden shield at the front, everyone sort of cheering. So as Caesar consolidates his power, the question became, what happens when he dies? They're thinking about succession. So September 45 BCE, Caesar makes a defining decision. He named his great-nephew Octavian as his heir.
Starting point is 00:25:08 The man he had treated as a son and would later become the Emperor Augustus. But importantly, Caesar did not choose Mark Anthony, his leading general and ally, or Caesarian, his biological son with Cleopatra. It was a political choice disguised as a family, decision. Caesar wanted power transferred safely within a controlled Roman circle. But this decision would later help tear Rome apart because in February 44 BCE, Caesar took the title dictator for life. Now, for Romans, this was terrifying. Rome prided itself from being a republic, a system built specifically to avoid monarchy. The Romans had thrown out their last king in 509 BCE, a long time
Starting point is 00:25:47 before, and king remained the ultimate political insult. So some of Caesar supporters flirted with the idea of him, but this was too far. The Roman Republic just wasn't prepared to anoint another king. Caesar didn't officially become king, but he didn't exactly behave like a man planning to retire either. He centralized authority, offended aristocracy, cultivated this public image of it, like inevitability,
Starting point is 00:26:11 the real cult of personality stuff. Some classical writers accused him of vanity and self-promotion, and he certainly understood the power of narrative, publishing accounts of his wars and presenting his victories as destiny a long time before true social even existed he's doing this which is interesting one of Cesar's most enduring reforms was administrative
Starting point is 00:26:31 not military however he in 45 BC he invented or introduced the Julian calendar which we've touched before a solar calendar designed to fix the increasingly chaotic Roman timekeeping system and this calendar became the standard across Europe for 1,600 years until it was eventually replaced by the Gregorian calendar
Starting point is 00:26:47 starting in the early 1500 So while Rome plotted Caesar's death, he was reshaping time itself. How has you got the time to design a new calendar in amongst that? You know, when the Swedes switch from driving on the left-hand side of the road to the right-hand side of the road? Yeah. And there was one day and all this kind of stuff. And obviously it's a huge thing because you're terrified of crashes. Imagine how many missed appointments and meetings there must have been when they switched to a different calendar.
Starting point is 00:27:18 Yeah. The first couple of weeks must have been absolutely chaos, isn't it? Oh, sorry, I've got the fourth. Yes. We've switched to Gregorian. Oh, right. Yes. Sorry.
Starting point is 00:27:30 Sorry. Yeah. I'm still on a paper calendar. See, I don't use G-Cal. Yeah, you're so right. It would take me minimum a decade to get my head around the shift that marked. If it's complete, yeah, yeah. It's going to take me a long time to start turning up to things on time.
Starting point is 00:27:47 Horrendous. It's like decimal. position, isn't it? Yeah, exactly, yeah, yeah. So we now need to get to the bit of the Julius Caesar story that everyone knows, I would say, on the 15th of March 44 BCE, the aides of March,
Starting point is 00:27:57 Julius Caesar assassinated during a Senate session. The killing took place not in the Senate House itself, but the Theatre of Pompey. And I never appreciated that irony until, like, reading all this, that he was killed in the Theatre of Pompey, the Theatre of his enemy, rather than the Senate House. Caesar stabbed two dozen times,
Starting point is 00:28:15 and Roma therefore removed its most powerful man and in doing so, I opened up the gates for something far worse because Caesar's death didn't restore the Republic. It triggered the next phase of civil war, which was the struggle between Caesar supporters and Caesar's enemies and the eventual rise of new power brokers, and among them, Mark Anthony, and eventually, too, Cleopatra. So a lot of the reason this...
Starting point is 00:28:36 And by the way, when I've been to Rome, I actually stumbled across, it's still there, like the place the Caesar was assassinated. I saw it on some... There's so many ruins in Rome, but I did stumble across that. It was amazing. So a lot of the reason this story, lives so powerfully in our minds is not that just because it happened,
Starting point is 00:28:51 but because it's been retold so many times. Obviously, one of the, probably the most influential retelling is Julius Caesar, written by a little fellow called Old Bill Shakespeare, written in 1599, drawing on classical sources. And Shakespeare, of course, gave us many of the iconic lines and fixed the assassination scene into cultural memory. And then there was the sequel, Anthony and Cleopatra in 1607, the romance that followed on from the chaos, Caesar left behind.
Starting point is 00:29:20 And yeah, that's how we get to the most famous love story. One of the most famous love stories ever between Anthony and Cleopatra. It came after a dead Pompey, a victorious Caesar, restored Cleopatra, an heir chosen and then a dictator murdered. And Rome, leaderless and furious, is about to fall into the arms of its next catastrophe. And I dare say we'll pick up the story from there again very soon. Do you know what I love, very briefly,
Starting point is 00:29:46 A very simple thing about this ancient history is the fact it will say in February this happened. I love that we have that knowledge on a third of June. It's like mad that we know exactly the date and these things. Just incredible. This stuff was recorded. It's just fantastic. When Arsenal lost to Swindon in 1969 league cup final at Wembley, that was I think the Daily Mirror's headline was Beware theides of Myds.
Starting point is 00:30:16 March, because they'd lost on March the 15th. Comparing Arsenal Lucinda's winter. That's brilliant. It's one of the great moments in the history of the Roman Empire. So there we go. That was Julius Caesar. Don't forget, if you want to support the show and get bonus episodes, early release episodes,
Starting point is 00:30:40 and lots of other benefits too, you can go to patreon.com forward slash oh, what a time, and sign up there. And we'll see you next week. Absolutely. Goodbye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye.
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