Oh What A Time... - #166 Small Countries (Part 1)

Episode Date: March 9, 2026

Get the atlas out because this week we’re analysing some of the world’s smallest countries! We’ve got for you Brunei, the Vatican City and how about we take a trip to Andorra?Elsewhere, Chris can now talk to his house to turn off a lightbulb: so is humanity getting lazier and lazier? If you know the answer to that or anything else, do get in touch: [e-mail] from now on Part 1 is released on Monday and Part 2 on Wednesday - but if you want more Oh What A Time and both parts at once, you should sign up for our Patreon! On there you’ll now find:•The full archive of bonus episodes•Brand new bonus episodes each month•OWAT subscriber group chats•Loads of extra perks for supporters of the show•PLUS ad-free episodes earlier than everyone elseJoin us at 👉 patreon.com/ohwhatatimeAnd as a special thank you for joining, use the code CUSTARD for 25% off your first month.You can also follow us on: X (formerly Twitter) at @ohwhatatimepodAnd Instagram at @ohwhatatimepodAaannnd if you like it, why not drop us a review in your podcast app of choice?Thank you to Dan Evans for the artwork (idrawforfood.co.uk).Chris, Elis and Tom x Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Oh, Whatter Time is now on Patreon. You can get main feed episodes before everyone else, add free, plus access to our full archive of bonus content, two bonus episodes every month, early access to live show tickets, and access to the Oh Watertime Group chat. Plus, if you become an Oh Watertime All-Timer, myself, Tom and Ellis, will riff on your name to postulate

where else in history you might have popped up. For all your options, you can go to patreon.com forward slash oh, watertime. Hello and welcome to Oh, what a time. And this is a special episode all about small countries. And just earlier, before recording, I amazed Tom Crane with my ability to speak to my Amazon Alexa product and order it to turn on my lights. Yeah. But I also have upgraded the lighting system. I now have Wi-Fi bulbs in my house.

What's that mean? Yeah, those are just words. I know those words independently. I can control all the lights in my house just by talking to my house. I feel like this is something that would really blow Henry the 8th's mind. This is something that 20 years ago would have got you sectioned. So if you're on holiday, you can turn the lights on so that thieves think that there's people in the house. So tell me some of the things you can say to your light bulbs and what they'll do.

Watch this. Alexa, turn off Lof Loflamp. It didn't work. It didn't. Oh, it has. Oh. Oh, it did. It was a slight delay.

There we go. Yeah. Yeah. So in conclusion, it did it slightly slower than it would if you just clicked it yourself. I don't have to lean over. I could have been anywhere in the world, potentially, if you got internet access. So you're in South Paulo and you're turning on your loft lamp. Do you think all this technology is making us lazy as humanity?

Because now I don't even have to get up to turn off a light. Yeah, but think about it. Our first telly did a remote control. And now, on the real thing. Yeah. On the rare occasions, I've actually got to go towards the tele for some reason. I'm like, oh my God, they never ends it. This is barbaric? Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Is it six paces? Oh, my. And we'd have arguments about who's going to change a channel, those turn it was, and it was new and rest, all that kind of stuff. And then you get used to it. It's like Deliveroo. You used to have to leave the house to get a takeaway. But I think of both of those fronts, there's an argument. It was better. Like, you know, there's too much. choice and it's too easy to change things with your TV,

which means you're now constantly flicking between choice and choice and choice and choice and never settling, whereas previously it would be last of the summer wine or the Antiques Road Show and you deal with it. And also you think to stuff, but I can't be asked to do the round trip of 12 paces. So this is it. I'm an Antiques Road Show guy for the rest of my life. Certainly not the rest of the evening. Here we go again. It was a big thing in TV ratings

I don't think it is anymore But it was always about the follow on Like people just leaving their tellies on After a big Yeah yeah yeah Like the second program The program on after EastEnders Would get a big ratings bump

Because people were just sat there not moving Yeah It still is a thing Is it still a thing? Is it still a thing? Very much has an impact When you're looking at ratings for shows What Art is on before

Has a huge impact on how shows do Because you get a portion of people Who still sort of haven't thought about it I've gone off to get a cup of tea and they've come back and it's like, oh, we just give it a chance because I'm now five minutes into it. It does have an impact. It really does. So if you're after Gogglebox, something about on Channel 4, whatever happens to be on each channel, the big show, you want to be just after the big show. I mean, no wonder we're all so physically fit, though.

We're all such big, strong boys. The old 12-paced round trip from Sulphor to tell you. That's what I kept us so fit. You weren't tempted by a long stick? That's why football. Oh, we. Didn't toy with that? There was discussion that all sorts of solutions were proffered

until eventually we got a new telly, but that took years and years. We had an interstitial tele that had a remote but was wired to the tele. Did you have this? No, we went straight from no remote to a normal remote. You must have got in quite quick with that technology because it was quite short-lived the wired remote. Within 24 hours, I'm tripping on that wire and the TV is smashing. to the ground. It wasn't that long. It was probably like a meter and a half. Okay. But yeah, but it was...

So you've got to sit very close to the telly. Yeah, it wasn't that long. I don't know why they'd make it longer. Did it reach the sofa? Or do you just have to walk to the middle of the floor and change the channel? You could lie it in the middle of the floor. What I never understood was that surely you want it on a little, you know, like a pulley system or something like that. You know, like the old vacuum. Yeah, yeah, yeah. where it like pulls it back in, a little mechanism.

Snaps back. It was just loose. That was one thing Paul McCartney said about meeting Elvis was that he had a remote control telly. They'd never seen one before. Yeah. And they were like, wow, this guy is, I mean, he's got access to all the latest stuff.

He's in the future. Wasn't Graceland the biggest clue that he was doing all right? I think so, yeah. The fact he's living in the world's biggest house. I do. I've heard that story before about Paul McCartney, but the thing I find astonishing is that There must have been like a hundred things about Graceland that were astonishing.

But the one thing that everyone remembers of the story that Paul McCartney tells is the remote control of the tele. But we didn't have a remote control telly until the mid-90s. So they met Elvis in about 1966. So he's 30 years. Imagine if your computer was the computer I'll have in 30 years times. I'd be pretty impressed with that. Imagine those early days of the remote control. It probably worked on like gamma rays or something like that.

Oh yeah, yeah. Like massively dangerous radar signals. Oh, oh yeah. It destroys your DNA if you happen to be walking in front of Elvis. An absolute cancer machine. We could change channel, but it will reduce your life by a year. So how do you feel about that? How much you really want to watch it's done?

That's Sophie's choice, isn't it? The old 12-paced round trip or reduced life expectancy of 12 months per channel change. Yeah. I have a record player, so I still experience some of that, which is when the side finishes, it doesn't flip it itself. It's not one of those ones,

so I have to walk across, change a record. So I still experience a bit of that. But maybe it's quite good, maybe it's healthy on some level to be, you know, active, involved in your choices. If you were a smart watch, the old 12th pacer on trip, it would go, well done, you've gone up. Because that's what they do, nice one. Do you remember, talking about smart watches, one of the big inventions when we were teenagers,

was the Cassia watch that allowed you to change the TV channel. God, I remember this. When it came into our secondary school, made teachers' lives an absolute nightmare. It did. We gave our RE teacher a nervous breakdown doing that, because she didn't know how it was happening. So she was trying to show us a video about Hinduism or something and just kept being paused and fuss forward and rewound and she was horrendous.

There was a little book that came with those Casio watches of how you could input it to change it for the right manufacturer to change. Remember the little book you would get three-digit code. I'm still quite obsessed with Cassio watches. I have maybe three or four. And the one I want to buy now is the calculator one. Remember they had one?

I had the calculator one. With the buttons which were so small, you need like a toothpick to add anything up. I also had, I had these sort of, it was like the businessman's choice Cassio watch. So we had 24 time zones. And also it had a calendar function so I could put in my appointments.

Remember my dad seemed to me. How old were you? Like 11 or 12. Okay. And my dad telling someone at work, he said, oh, my boy's got this amazing watch for all of his appointments. And his mate went, has you got many appointments?

He said, you're seven. Appointments, 9 a.m. school. 9 a.m. school. Yeah, 3.30pm come home from school. Yeah, yeah, but it could do that. And it had a little map of the world on it. So I could tell my friends what the time was in Adelaide. That's quite an interesting question. Is there a bit of technology, dear listener, that you remember coming in

that either you felt was in time, pointless or really felt like a massive step forward. Is there a thing for you, that moment? For me, I know what mine is. Mine is the Game Boy. That was, admittedly, I grew up without a television. But I remember the Game Boy just being like, I can't believe I'm making this Italian plumber jump on a mushroom.

Well, sat in my kitchen. Yeah. And then the Game Gear, the Game Gear was in colour. Oh, the game gear, yeah. My auntie had a little portable telly, pocket. size that she used to watch soaps on when she was having her hair cut. Yeah, it was big on. And I remember thinking, well, this is it now. It's just telly everywhere. Telly forever. I'm sure there was an adapter you could get for your game gear that would make it

turn it into a mini telly. Do you remember this? I had that adapter. Yeah. I saved up for it. That felt like a huge step. That was a giant leap for mankind. It was a big one. That was our generation's Neil Armstrong. Yeah, absolutely. The Game Boy, I find. quite a sort of triggering memory for me, though, because I was at Bath Abbey Choir, a chorister, I got paid £12 every three months. That's what I was paid for two rehearsals a week and two services. And I saved up that £12 a month for three, four years,

whatever it would have been, eventually got a game gear with all of my earnings and then played a game of football with the other choristers outside Bath Abbey. And because I'm me and an idiot, I just left it on a bench to play football in the middle of Bath. And of course it was nicked. Someone nicked it, Tom. I saved up for three years for this thing.

Literally three years of £12 every three months just add slowly, slowly, slowly and I got this thing and it was nicked. That is one of the... Stolen by a chorister. That is so... Hidden up his cassock. You were essentially working for God. You think you'd keep an eye out for you. Yeah.

There's so many holes in the biblical story, isn't there? Maybe you saw the game gear as a distraction from what's important in life. Oh, God. You obviously had a religious upbringing. The way you could excuse God there, it was quick as a flash. Oh, no. Oh, Tom, that has absolutely destroyed me. Oh, Tom.

But now is not the time for sorrow. Now is the time for joy. Because we have another exciting, oh, what a time episode for you, dear listener to listen to. And, even more excitingly, today's episode is a listener suggested episode from one of our top tier, oh, what a time full time subscribers. This is one of the great benefits of being one of the top tier subscribers. You can suggest an episode, and once a month we will do one of them. So I quickly read out the email this has come from to tell you what we'll be talking about today.

This email has come from Nigel Pierce. It can't be that one, can it? Do you mean Nigel Pearson? Oh, yes. Oh, there you are. We definitely can't be that one with a different names. It's not the... Yes, there's a local manager.

Yeah, yeah, thank you. Hello, boys. I've recently moved... To Brunei, to work as a teacher in a tiny school just outside a town called Tutong. Your podcast has been a much welcome dose of normality in an otherwise massively overwhelming first month. I would love it if you could cast your collective eyes over the history of Brunei. It's linked to colonialism and the Sultan. He has about 8,000 cars in his palace is the largest residential palace in the world.

Wow, 8,000 cars. This could be cars he's never sat inside. Yeah, not needed. Is it? Also, someone who can't drive and doesn't own one car. I find that quite painful to read. This oil rich nation has no tax and I can fill up my car for about £12. That's why he's got 8,000 cars.

It's so cheap to fill them up. It's not the most happening of countries, though. One of the top ten things to do is to see a roundabout. Anyway, I'd be most honoured if you'd consider doing an episode on this tiny little country as I'm here for the next two years teaching little Bruneian children how to speak, read and write English. I teach three classes a day for an hour each time, and the class sizes are six, five and five, better than the 34 are left behind in the UK. All the best fellas, keep up the great work, Nigel Pitts. Thank you for that, Nigel. I hope you are settling in and that you really love your new life there. I'm sure it's be a really exciting a few years for you, and thank you for listening to the show. But it's given us a great idea, which is to cover small nations, small countries as today's topic, one of which will be Brunei. I will be talking about the Vatican City later. Elle, what are you talking about?

I'm talking about Brunei. You are, and Chris? And Dora. And Dora. I think it's really interesting stuff, actually. It's a really good suggestion. It's given us a great idea for today's topic. So there's another reason to sign up if you're not a subscriber,

because maybe your idea will be next. Hello again, you horrible lot. Enjoying the show. Well, why not show the love by becoming a Patreon supported today? for a mere handful of farthings you can get ad-free shows two bonus subscriber episodes each month access to all the past bonus eps first dibs on live tickets and even help decide

what subjects the boys cover next your support makes everything possible so sign up today at patreon.com slash oh what's a time or oh what's a time.com. What are you waiting for? Stop dawdling. So I'm going to kick off this episode on small countries

by telling you all about the world's smallest country. Okay, that's like a classic pub quiz question that. Should we start with a guessing game? You'll probably get it. What do you think the smallest country in the world is? I think I know this. Far away. Isn't it Vatican City?

Correct. Nice. Some people go Monaco's, you know, Samarino, Lechonstein and stuff like that, but it is the Vatican City. Would you like to guess, you might not get this, this is a trickier question. I couldn't believe this. How small the resident population is of the Vatican City? How small do you think it is? Oh, it's about 750 or something, isn't it?

Yeah, very close, very close. I want to guess, Chris, see if you can get it on the head. 427. In 2024, it had an estimated resident population of 882 people, and that includes. non-citizens. There's an additional 372 Vatican citizens who are said to live abroad primarily diplomats of the Holy See and Cardinals in Rome. Well, you know, on the Ellis and John

show I do a thing called the Cumbry connection where a Welsh person rings in and I've got 60 seconds to find a mutual connection between me and the person. The Vatican City connection, I mean, that's going to be extremely easy. Is that John? I'm all there of the Pope. Is that John Paul?

Yeah. Done. It's got to be your go-to every time, Elle, surely. Yeah. Can you get, is there such a thing as a Vatican passport then? There must be. It's a fully functioning country, exactly. As you will come to, it has so many of the trappings as any country you might expect.

It's tiny, though. What I was thinking about, Al, was the idea of Wales playing the Vatican city. And losing. And beating you. And beating you. And that being seen as a giant. killing. It's one of the

few countries in the world that you would be generally like a giant compared to. I remember when we beat San Marino

2-1 and that wasn't really good enough because San Marino has a population of 30,000 and it was bad. San Marino

is one of the countries when you're watching and the commentator always say something like of course the right back is also a

postman yeah yeah and there'll be one player who plays semi-pro in Italy, but everyone else works behind a bar and a pub, whatever. He had a season in sort of Seria B. Yeah, exactly.

By a mile, yeah. And he scores. Yeah, and starts worrying the Welsh fans. Have the Vatican City got a football team? Well, we will come to this hell. This is a large part of it, and it's fascinating, actually. The Vatican City, okay, it's created in 1929 by the signing of the Lateran Treaty. And it came about because the Italian king, Victor Emmanuel III, the Italian, the Italian,

Italian Prime Minister, Benito Mussolini, slightly unfortunate, and the then-Pope, Pius the 11th, want to resolve a question which had been hanging around since the reunification of Italy in the 1860s and 1870s, and that was essentially what to do about the Pope's status as a ruler. Because since the middle of the 8th century, the Pope had been the sovereign ruler of the papal states, a territory which had expanded and contracted over time. I never realized it. It was like it had borders that shifted in that way, but which had survived as an independent kingdom right up until the process of Italian reunification,

the Reorgimento, as it's referred to. And on paper, this might not seem like too much of an issue, but the Italian nationalist regarded Rome, the heart of the papal state, as the natural capital of the Kingdom of Italy, and the Pope, Pius I, 9th, as it was then, he objected. And so a French garrison is sent by Napoleon III to protect the Holy Father,

making sure the Italian designs on the Eternal City are delayed. However, the Franco-Prussian War of 1870 compels Napoleon. He redraars all these troops. He's like, I can't be giving all these troops away to help the Vatican City. He redraws them all, and the Pope's last line of defence crumbles. And there's a symbolic battle in which 49 Italians and 19 papal troops die. The Italian army capture the city, as well as the region of Lazio itself, and Rome at last becomes the camp.

capital of Italy. How do you think Pope Pius Ineath reacts to this? How do you think he reacts to this statement that now Rome is the capital of Italy? Do you think he likes it? What do you reckon his reaction is? I would imagine he's absolutely livid, is he? Correct. He refuses to recognise the legitimacy of Italian rule in the city, which is quite balsy when Italian troops are in, you know, the Vatican State, does still refuse to accept it. It's quite a balsy pope. Yeah, yeah. Fair play. I mean, he is going to think he's in the right, though, wasn't he? He's the Pope. Yes, that is true. But sticking to his gun, is impressive. There's a famous quote,

when the King, Victor Emmanuel II, representative, come to ask the Pope for the keys to the palace, the centre of Roman power. The Pope reacts by saying, whom do these thieves think they are kidding, asking for the keys to open the door. Let them knock it down if they wish. Bonaparte soldiers came through the window. They did not have the effrontery to ask for keys. So he refuses to give them the keys. I love this. This is such a funny with it. student dispute. You know, when you lost, you lost the keys, so why should I have to, why should I not get my deposit back? It really does, yeah, absolutely. Well, what do you think the Italians do when he refuses to give them the keys to this criminal palace? What do you think he's, what do they do? Not the door down.

Take him hostage? No, it's hilariously mundane, but absolutely what you should do. It's so every day. Arrest him? Think about it. No, they don't know need to do this. If he's not giving you the keys, what do you do? Have another set. They're not going to damage the door. They're just hire a locks. which is such an I love it's such an everyday way to deal with this huge someone from Timsund. Diplomatic argument. So the locksmith turns up and they get in.

Interestingly, from 1870 until 1929, the Pope is regarded as a prisoner there despite having been granted full diplomatic immunity and other privileges, tantamount to being head of state by the Italian government. But since the Pope didn't recognise the Italian government, all that was a bit of a mute subject. And the aforementioned 1929 Lateran Treaty

finally ended this Roman question by establishing a whole new territory for the Pope. Not only did this restore the Pope to the position of temporal ruler, as well as a spiritual one, it also gives him all the trappings of a head of state. And to mark the reconciliation between Italy and the papacy, I actually quite like this.

I mean, Mussolini, obviously a deeply awful person. I think we can agree. Yeah? Yeah. We're happy to say that. Yeah. I think we can agree. Yes. Yeah, yeah. I'd agree. Yeah. You left a pause there for us to answer. I thought you'd leap in quicker, to be honest. I think we agree. Terrible person. Don't make me criticise Mussolini, Tom. the people, not the good guy. Mussolini, just a terrible person, although I do quite like this aspect. He ordered the construction of the Via de la Consilazone, which I probably have pronounced wrong, to connect St. Peter's Square to the Castel Santangelo, which is a 500-meter road of conciliation, from the heart of one capital to the heart of the other. And construction began on 29th of October by 1936. So this road was constructed between the heart of that capital and the heart of the

Vatican capital. It's quite a nice idea. It's quite like the visual representation of that. But once again, I can't impress enough Mussolini not a good guy. Yes, of course. Yeah, yeah. That's one of the core principles of this podcast. Well, are we sure? Email it. Right. Meanwhile, okay, the Vatican City, it develops institutions and functions of a state as governed by fundamental law. And this vested authority in the Pope as sovereign with that same power, in turn, often devolved to the pontifical commission, which was established in 1939. It's basically the nearest equivalent that Vatican City has to a parliament. Are you aware of this commission? It's quite interesting. It has a president, currently Raphael A Petrini, who's the first woman to hold

the post and it's got six other members, all of whom are cardinals, and they meet in the governor's palace, which is built at the end of the 1920s. I mean, that name hints that before 1939, there had been another system in place to administer the Vatican City State, and indeed power was vested in the hands of the governor. And only one individual ever held that office, Camillo Serafini, who is an Italian aspiristocrat, who is plucked from the Vatican City Library, where I'd argue he had one of the weirdest jobs I've ever heard of. I'm trying to work out if I like this job, whether it would just be incredibly boring.

Do you want to guess what his job was in the library, in the Vatican City? He wasn't in charge of the index cards, was he? That must have... Yeah, the indexing is probably the most boring job in a library. Yeah, I think this might be worse. His job was to count and then catalogue the entire papal coin collection.

Oh, my gosh. I try to work out if that's enjoyable, like relaxing, or if it's just like mind-numbingly dull. Hard to do 9 to 5. cataloging coins. That is genuinely, I think that might be the most boring job I've ever heard in history. Let me present you with this one little element of it. A lot of the coins are things that are dug up in archaeological dig.

So there are of historical importance. So they're old coins that were found from ancient Rome and antiquity, exactly, stuff like that. So there is a historical element, but you are still having to sort and number all these coins. Anyway, that's his job. Okay, maybe that's not so boring. Oh, check a podcast on, I reckon that'll be all right. You might be right. Maybe it would be quite sort of like mindful.

Serafini's authority is diminished after 19... Does he get time for lunch? What is ours? Has he got flexi time? He gets time for lunch, but he can't pay for it using the official paper coin collection. Those are the rules. You cannot use antiquated coins. His authority is diminished after 1939, however, as part of a reorganisation of the Vatican State by Pope Pius I. And although the ageing coin lover held the post of governor until his death in 1952, it had by then all become a bit ceremonial basically.

But what about what you find in the Vatican State? And I found this really interesting. It has a post office. It has a police department. It has an observatory, a museum's department, a health service, it's got a railway, all the functionality of a sovereign country. But there is one thing it does not have. Do you know what the Vatican City does not have?

A treasury. No, try again. What do you think, Elle? Is this a political thing? It's good news if you want to. create trouble there. Oh, a police force. Close. Or an army. It does not have a prison. Oh, okay. So if you do something wrong in the Vatican City, you are held in Italian cells with the

Vatican City reimbursing its neighbour for the cost. So if you're arrested, you're taking Italian cells. There is no prison there, despite the fact it is a country, there is no prison. The prison is in Italy. It's run by the Italian state. And then the Vatican City then pay Italy for the pleasure of... Only 800 people living there, though. Yeah, admittedly. I mean, how big a prison do you need? But, I mean, you get a lot of visitors.

I've been to the Vatican City. There's a lot of people knocking around. But the other thing as well is they've got the pontifical Swiss guard, isn't it? The Swiss guard? Yeah. The soldiers. And I think they are the best decorated

of any guard I am aware of. Yes, yes. They really like... It's like almost Renaissance. Yeah, great uniform. Right, red yellows. And they've also got these really, and they've got hellbeards as well,

like quite old, like those axe-style things. But do they have our big hats that our guards have? They've got big plumes on their heads. Oh, well, there you go. Well, they're winning that case. Now, we now reach the bit you've all been waiting for. Elle, you asked at the beginning, does the Vatican City have a football team?

So let's find out. As for sport, there is a Vatican national football team. although it has a limited presence on the international scene and it's not yet a member of FIFA. I can't be the only one imagining them playing in those really long tunics, can you? I just imagine not getting a game. Right, yes.

Imagine being an able-bodied personage between 17 and 40 and not getting an international cap. You would have to be so shit. Yeah, at least make the bent, sure. Yeah, yeah. Jack. It's like kids football where everyone eventually gets a game. I think it might be. Absolutely. The Pope can play when he wants, I'm sure. So football activity there comes under the control of the Vatican City Football Association.

That's formed in 1972. It's surprisingly rich for a country of fewer than 900 people. It's actually quite a sort of wealthy football association, although many more people work in the Vatican and commute in from Italy. Commuting. Why is that funny? I don't know why that's so funny. Connecting to the Vatican to work. The premier footballing competition, and there is a footballing competition, is the Vatican City Championship. I love this. This is so great, which has run since May 1972,

although there was an earlier league formed back in 1947. The Vatican Super Cup followed in 2005. And teams include sides made up of employees at the Vatican Museums, the secret archives, the gendarmerie, and the Vatican newspapers. So these are the main teams. in the Vatican Super Cup. I would love, genuinely, to go on a weekend away with friends to go and watch the Vatican Super Cup.

Yeah, yeah. Eat some nice food, drink some good wine in Rome, and then go and watch, you know, the Vatican newspaper versus the gendarmerie in the Vatican City. That would be so great. Do you think there are more bookings or less bookings than a typical Sunday league game in a Vatican Super Cup game? That's a good question.

Do you think they're imbued, with kind of spirituality that prevents heavy fouling. A friend of mine plays in an East London Christian League. I've heard about people who do this. And I said, is there less or more fouling? And he said, more, it's just everyone asks God for forgiveness after they've done some awful crunching tackle. I know someone who plays in that Christian league

and both teams will say a prayer at the start of the game. Before kicking lumps out of each other. Yeah, you can't. You can't say a prayer with a stranger and then beat him out, like, you know, put in a two-footed, crunching tap. You know, when someone sent off in the Vatican Super League, red smoke comes out the top of the Sistine Chapel. Refere's head.

It's yellow smoke or red smoke, depending on what the referee decided. There are other sports, by the way, in the Vatican City, just to wrap this up, there's the Vatican Amateur Sports Association or Vatican Athletics, which includes cricket, cycling, taekondo, paddle, women's football. However, the Vatican is not a member of the International Olympic Committee either, so we won't be hearing the national anthem for a while. But the point is, and I think it's what's interesting about it, is the Vatican city, if not only this sort of Catholic Ruritania,

somewhere that's, like, bound up with tradition, church bells, robes and all that sort of stuff, it's also a country with all the trappings, the social side, the sporting, all these things that you would identify with any other country. Most of us only really see the tourist side, but who knows, one day we might be cheering on a potential Olympic champion from the Vatican City we will see in time. But that's sort of the history of the Vatican City. Fascinating place. My main takeaway is I'm desperate to go to the Vatican Super Cup. That's that's my main takeaway here. I love to watch the Vatican Super Cup.

It's be brilliant. I also assume that they're going to be amazing. Yeah. Because it's Italy. Yeah. I play Fyvercide in South London. A variety of games. It's a comedian's game, but I also play in sort of normal people games. And the Italian and the French lads, they're good players. Yeah. You know, they tend to be, yeah, they're good players. It's funny as well, if you're playing a little kid in a kickabout game with someone who's from the continent, like from Italy or France,

you just expect them to be good. Absolutely. Yeah. It's always surprising when you come up against an Italian who's not good at football. Yeah, the scouses are good in my experience. When I went to Rio, when I worked in Rio during the Paralympics a few years ago, you'd see kids playing outside and they would be like insanely good though. Would they?

Yeah, like just brilliant. And on the beach, just the skills. Maybe I just happened to see them. But it did feel like this is different to back home. A loose ball bobbled over to you, didn't it? And you ringed it around three or four of them and then kicked it in the goal. And they were running up and down the beach in Rio when they're going, Mr Bobby Chaltern

Mr Bobby Chalden Yeah Yeah Have you read the new stories Did you? Well I've told you about I must have done About a mate of mine

who's an accountant for a big European firm They had a sort of Five Aside World Cup So five of them From the London office Were representing England And then they had people

From the Rome office Representing Italy People with a Berlin office Representing Germany And so on So the England team Have I told you this story before? No

They were told listen If you've got an England kick great But if not just wear a white t-shirt. Right. And he said that the World Cup was happening in Italy. They all take it in turns to host it.

And so they were turning up. They were all men in their 40s. Some of the men played for ages. They all had lunch before the first game. The England team all had a pint with their pizza. Love it. Love it. The Italian team, they played in full Italy kit.

They were all like 23 and they were absolutely amazing. They hammered England. 12-1 and he said and the French and the Spanish took it really seriously as well. And we were just... That's so funny. I think if you're going abroad to represent your country, you'd get a shirt, wouldn't you? You'd get the shirt, absolutely. And we don't just turn up in a grubby work t-shirt.

No, no, no, not a t-shirt you wear to the gym. Come on. Don't draw the three lines on in felt-tip on a t-shirt. I just love that they had a pint before they played it. That's so funny. Maybe it loosened them up. Maybe it just gave them that sort of, you know. Yeah, they might have lost 16-1 instead of 15-1

if they had another crew only with their pizza. Marriottner was on cocaine for a lot of his careers. It could be worse. Well, that's it for part one of small countries, but if you want part two, you can have it right now. You can become an oh-what-a-time. Full-timer or a subscriber. You can head to patreon.com forward-slash-oh-watt-time.

We're at part-2 is there. Plus bonus episodes to be enjoyed. Patreon.com forward slash oh-watt-a-time. Otherwise, we'll see you on Wednesday for part two. Bye. Oh, what a time is now on Patreon. You can get main feed episodes before everyone else, ad free, plus access to our full archive of bonus content,

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