Oh What A Time... - #176 Sporting Revolutionaries And Tom Gets Stuck On A Rollercoaster (Part 2)

Episode Date: April 28, 2026

This is Part 2! For Part 1, check the feed!This week on the show we’re talking about the sporting prowess of history’s most well-known revolutionaries; we have baseball-loving Fidel Castro, Chairm...an Mao’s love of ping pong and we’ve got Vladimir Lenin and his love of the bicycle.Elsewhere, Tom Craine got stuck up a rollercoaster. Has this ever happened to you? Why does this sort of thing keep happening to Tom? If you know, please do inform us: hello@ohwhatatime.comAnd from now on Part 1 is released on Monday and Part 2 on Wednesday - but if you want more Oh What A Time and both parts at once, you should sign up for our Patreon! On there you’ll now find:•The full archive of bonus episodes•Brand new bonus episodes each month•OWAT subscriber group chats•Loads of extra perks for supporters of the show•PLUS ad-free episodes earlier than everyone elseJoin us at 👉 patreon.com/ohwhatatimeAnd as a special thank you for joining, use the code CUSTARD for 25% off your first month.You can also follow us on: X (formerly Twitter) at @ohwhatatimepodAnd Instagram at @ohwhatatimepodAaannnd if you like it, why not drop us a review in your podcast app of choice?Thank you to Dan Evans for the artwork (idrawforfood.co.uk).Chris, Elis and Tom x Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Oh, What a Time is now on Patreon. You can get main feed episodes before everyone else, add free, plus access to our full archive of bonus content, two bonus episodes every month, early access to live show tickets, and access to the Oh Watertime Group chat. Plus, if you become an O Watertime All-Timer, myself, Tom and Ellis, will riff on your name to postulate
Starting point is 00:00:20 where else in history you might have popped up. For all your options, you can go to patreon.com forward slash O Watertime. Hello and welcome to part two of Sporting Revolutionaries. We'll get on with the show in a second, but first, you've been asking for it. No one's been asking for it. You've been demanding it. No one's been demanding it. But we have got an episode on the history of trousers.
Starting point is 00:00:52 To wet your trouser whistle, here's a little taster of this full episode, which is available on our patron. Welcome to a Patreon special here of Oh, What a Time. I think it should be a really fun one. Should we explain what the subject is and why this is happening? Well, you've written the episode, Tom. I think it's best coming from you. And maybe before you do the introduction, can I just say, I think me and Ellis would probably agree this is part of you rebranding yourself. Because as me and Ellis often talk about, your trousers are possibly the worst of any trousers of anyone we know.
Starting point is 00:01:23 So this is nonsense. I personally, and I'd like some emails about this, I'm intrigued. I'm not convinced by this current trend of baggy trousers. I think it gives us shapeless silhouette. I understand it. It's a scandy cut. People are into it. But I actually think we'll look back on it in a few years' time and think I'm not sure about the outline of that.
Starting point is 00:01:43 I go for a straight leg. That's why I wear a straight leg jean. What I will say is, if any of our listeners follow Los Angeles-based female fitness influencers who are often in their early 20s, you know the kind of super tight leggings that they're there? Imagine those, but they're made a demi. This is what the running. If you'd like to cast your mind back to the early noughties when a lot of New York, indie rock bands were coming out and they famed like Kings of Leon, the strokes, and they would famously tailor their dead in so tight that you could see the veins in their legs. So he buys them and then he sits in the bath to shrink them to his skin.
Starting point is 00:02:22 And he only changes his trousers about once a month because it's absolutely agony peeling them off. I have to get a new pair every time. Now, just dear listeners, to be clear, this is absolutely false information. I wear a simple straight leg jean. It's a nice silhouette. but these two are convinced that I'm a member of the cooks. Because of that, I thought, let's find out about trousers, shall we? Let's do an episode all about...
Starting point is 00:02:46 Tom's silhouette is like a flamingo. Because he's got a big colt. Tiny little thin legs. Skin-type denim. So there you go. That's a history of trousers. That full episode is available at patreon.com. What a time.
Starting point is 00:03:14 Plenty more history on clothing items to be enjoyed. I did a serious history podcast. Did a history degree in an M.A. And I always thought, eventually, if the other podcast go well enough, I'll be able to do a serious history podcast. And unfortunately, I've ended up working with a good friend who gets trapped on roller coaster rides
Starting point is 00:03:38 and when it's his choice, when it's his turn to do a patron episode, does the history of trousers. I'm so sorry to all of my lecturers. But if you're interested in trousers, sign up. to our Patreon now and find out all about them. I can tell you what I've been thinking about since we recorded part one in sporting revolutionaries, obviously we've been talking about Fidel Castro.
Starting point is 00:03:56 I love this idea that you could become a dictator. I've, create a cult of personality and make up whatever you want and have that be part of your canon. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Like Fidel Castro being great at baseball, Kim, Yongil, being great at golf, whatever it was.
Starting point is 00:04:15 Yeah, absolutely. What would you pick? What would you pick as your thing? History's greatest lover. Great answer. Invented French kissing. History's most generous lover. All right.
Starting point is 00:04:32 So I'm going to tell you all about how ping pong, table tennis, infiltrated China. And what's interesting about this is if you watch table tennis at the Olympics like I do, I enjoy it. I love watching table tennis. I always assumed it was an East Asian sport. It seems to be dominated by fantastic Chinese players. It's originated in England, actually, not East Asia. In fact, it began in the late 19th century as a Victorian parlour game, played by the British upper classes after dinner,
Starting point is 00:05:03 a kind of indoor miniature version of nonsense. England really is unbelievably good at inventing sport, that then the rest of the world become better at. Specifically the Victorians, the Victorians. Yeah. What a mad... That's an amazing record. So what sports have we invented?
Starting point is 00:05:21 We invented rugby? Well, it's an interesting thing because there's only so many things you can do sporting-wise. You can run, you can do something with a bat, you can kick or you can throw. Yes. But what England did a lot of was codify sports. So for instance, it codified football. Interesting. Okay.
Starting point is 00:05:38 And it codified cricket. Yeah, yeah. But, you know, like there are versions of football played all over the world. But the English tended to get there first when it came to codify. them. Then they would have sport them to the world. And then the Brazilians or the Indians or the Australians or wherever would be like, oh yeah, we're going to do that.
Starting point is 00:06:00 We're going to do that better than you can do it. I think we also invented that sport where the horses are made to do a funny little dance at the Olympics. Yes, yes. Dressage. A dressage, yeah. That's the one. Whenever I'm flicking through the channels on the Olympics, I always seem to come across dressage every time I think,
Starting point is 00:06:17 what am I looking at? It's so bizarre. I do quite like it in a weird way. I don't get it, but it's just bizarre. No. I love it as well. I watch dressage. I've got no idea what's happened
Starting point is 00:06:27 for the three minutes the song is playing or whatever. It ends and then straight away scores pop up. And I always think, I never know if a horse dance has been good or bad. Oh no, I've got great opinions. I'm like, that's bollocks, mate.
Starting point is 00:06:41 What are you watching a different horse? Mate, that's bollocks. They need VAR in dressage. That's bollocks, mate. Remark, remark that. That was a good horse dance. No, I am angry, actually. If you'd be watching the dress arts, it's bollocks, mate.
Starting point is 00:06:57 I'm imagining VAR when they cut to the room and it's just like three farmers. And a horse scene. Yeah, that's actually really hard. I think we should give a mix of them. Yeah, so the Victorians, they invented so many sports, including table tennis. I imagine they had a saint dressage as well.
Starting point is 00:07:14 That feels very Victorian. So through Emperors, Empire trade in expatriate communities, table tennis spread rapidly across the world. By the early 20th century, it had rules, which the Victorians had written down, but crucially, it too had governing bodies. And by 1926, it had its first world championship. Now, its journey to China began fittingly in one of the country's great treaty ports. Around 1901 in the aftermath of the Boxer Rebellion, we should do a whole episode on the Boxer Rebellion. It was basically a local anti-foreign uprising that was eventually crushed by the European powers.
Starting point is 00:07:51 And when the European powers come in with their armies, they brought with them table tennis. So table tennis was introduced in Tianjin, where the European enclaves had taken root. And from there, it spread to other international hubs such as Shanghai and Hong Kong. By 1902, clubs were beginning to form. Then leagues followed, and universities began to adopt the game. And what began as a colonial import quickly became. something else. Enter Mao. Somewhere along the way, the game found one of its most unlikely enthusiasts. Yes, Mao Zedong. So he was born in 1893 to a relatively prosperous peasant family.
Starting point is 00:08:32 Mao himself was not destined for sport. He clearly didn't have Fidel Castro's height or sporting ability. He was first and foremost a scholar, a young man who worked as a librarian at Peking University and absorbed ideas about politics, philosophy and revolution. Exactly when Mao Zedong took up table tennis is unclear. Photographs of him playing only emerged in the 1940s, but by then it is obvious that he had developed an affection for the game, at least for what it could represent. Because for Mao, ping pong was never just a sport. A lot like baseball in Cuba, table tennis, ping pong could become a tool.
Starting point is 00:09:10 And the turning point came through an unlikely connection. British aristocrat named Iver Montague. Sounds like one of our old time of all-timers. Montague was an extraordinary figure. Born into privilege in London, educated at Cambridge. He was both a champion table tennis player
Starting point is 00:09:29 and a committed communist. He helped found the International Table Tennis Federation in 1926. That's a good name, isn't it? Yeah. I like a federation. He worked in the film industry alongside Alfred Hitchcock
Starting point is 00:09:44 and in a twist-worthy fiction, he acted as a Soviet spy. Through his political connections, Montague developed links of the Chinese communist movement, and at some point in the 1950s, he persuaded Mao that table tennis could serve as the ideal sport for the new People's Republic of China. It was cheap, accessible, fast-paced, and crucially, it required little space or infrastructure, a perfect sport for a vast developing nation. Mao agreed, and ping-ponged, therefore, became China's national game.
Starting point is 00:10:17 Football is obviously, I would say, the English, or maybe more English, isn't it, like national game? I'm quite satisfied with that. I don't know how I'd feel if it was table tennis. I'm shitter table tennis. I can hit it back to you if you hit it at me very slowly. But I mean, in a competitive game, I am so bad at table tennis.
Starting point is 00:10:41 My hand-eye coordination is not good enough. we bought a little table tennis net that you clip onto your kitchen table to make it into a table tennis table which seemed like a good idea but I'd completely failed to factor in the fact that our kitchen table is quite an old one made out of four bumpy old knotted
Starting point is 00:11:02 you know it's like 140 years old or whatever and it's four planks a side by side so there's four massive ridges down the middle as well so it's constantly going off at mad angle There's no consistency to it. But that's the ultimate training. You're going to have two genius table tennis players. Yeah, exactly.
Starting point is 00:11:22 It's like bowling against spin. It's like being Shane one kid. Yeah, when your kids make it to the Olympics and they're on professional tables, they're going to absolutely breeze it. It'll be so predictable. Boring for them. Too boring. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:40 Ping pong became China's national game. The state threw its. weight behind the sport. By the late 1950s and early 60s, Chinese players were dominating the international scene. Figures such as Rong Ghatan, China's first world champion in 1959, and stars like Zhang Zedong and Kui became national heroes. In 1961, China hosted the World Table Tennis Championships in Beijing. That was the first major international sporting event held in the country. They built a table tennis stadium capable of holding 12. thousand spectators.
Starting point is 00:12:14 Wow. It was a showcase and a demonstration to the world that China had arrived, modern, organized and competitive. But behind the spectacle, they are very different reality because at the very moment
Starting point is 00:12:26 China was celebrating sporting success, the country was reeling from the catastrophic consequences of the great leap forward. Between 1959 and 1961, an estimated tens of millions died in a famine largely created by government policy in sport in this context.
Starting point is 00:12:42 therefore served as propaganda and distraction. But things, as we know, got worse. In 1966, Mao launched the Cultural Revolution, a decade-long period of political upheaval, persecution and violence. And even the nation's table tennis sporting heroes were not immune. Members of the table tennis team once symbols of national prize were accused of ideological disloyalty and subjected to re-education campaigns. Some paid the ultimate price.
Starting point is 00:13:10 Wrong, Gortan, the World Challenge. Champion was accused of being a spy and driven to suicide in 1968. Teammates, Fuchifong and Xiang Yun Ning, also took their own lives after persecution. And all three would be officially rehabilitated in 1978 long after their deaths. And yet, despite all this, table tennis would play a pivotal role on the global stage. In 1971, Mao and Premier Zhu Unlai made a remarkable move. They invited the United States table tennis team to visit China.
Starting point is 00:13:42 and at the time the two countries had no formal diplomatic relations. The Cold War divide between them was deep and hostile. But sport, specifically table tennis, provided that bridge and the visit became known as ping pong diplomacy. I'm sure we've all heard of that phrase. Wow. I haven't actually, but I like it. It paved the way, this meeting between the US and China in table tennis, paved the way for a thought in relations culminating in Richard Nixon's historic visit to China in 1972.
Starting point is 00:14:12 So the ping pong ball help shift global politics. Mao's interest in table tennis was never really about sport. It was about utility and how something simple, accessible and seemingly apolitical could be used to build national identity and project international strength. And even, as we saw the US, reshape global diplomacy. So next time you're watching the Olympics and watching China absolutely dominate the sport in making moves that just seemed like something out of the matrix, there is actually a deep heritage behind.
Starting point is 00:14:42 their ability in the sports. It's fascinating. I love the phrase, ping-pong diplomacy. Right, okay, now I'm going to take you to a real love of mine. I'm going to talk about cycling. Now, the Soviet communist leaders
Starting point is 00:15:10 were not really that enthusiastic about sport. apart from when sporting achievement brought prestige to the country. So, Leonid Brezhnev was a very good swimmer, but beyond him, Gorbachev was a good singer and he liked playing chess
Starting point is 00:15:26 and Krushchev liked hunting and shooting. So they weren't particularly sporting. If you look at, say, American presidents, American presidents often have their sporting prowess talked about like an election time. So George Bush, Sr., was a very good baseball player, for instance. and Barack Obama, you know, footage of him playing basketball and stuff. Now, there is one exception, namely the founding father of the Soviet Union, Vladimir Ilyich Lenin,
Starting point is 00:15:54 as a young man from a well-off family, he was an avid sportsman, taking him everything from mountain climbing to swimming, to ice skating and to hiking. But, I love him for this, his principal passion was cycling, which begs the question, if he was alive now, he'd be on Strava. Would he have a pellet on? Yeah, yeah, yeah. In the Kremlin? Would he be on Strava definitely, yes,
Starting point is 00:16:22 and he'd be updating all of his exercises and all that kind of stuff. Now, what a pity yell that rather than Lennon being lane in state in the way he has been, he wasn't propped up in full micro in the Red Square. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:16:39 Like, forever. Oh, I love that. On a racing bike by that. But what I want them to do with me is every few years or so when the technology of the bike changes they replace the bike. So my dead body is constantly
Starting point is 00:16:51 on the most up-to-date bike. So his letter sent from his European travels slash exile before the First World War tell the story of a man obsessed with physical activity. In fact, he was obsessed with exercises as he was with overthrowing the Tsar. So in July 1901, for instance, he found himself in Munich,
Starting point is 00:17:11 wrote to his mother to describe, the city said it's lovely but there are places for walks and a very good swimming pool so obviously it meant an awful lot to me he doesn't look particularly sporty I wouldn't say Lenin's ripped but he did love exercise
Starting point is 00:17:24 now a few years later by this point he's living in Paris he could often be seen out and about on his bike and he was taking longer and longer excursions into the countryside whenever he could that's the thing you know it gets you you start off doing a few miles here and there
Starting point is 00:17:39 and then the next thing is signing up for sportives Now, also in the pre-energy bar age So he'd be eating sandwiches probably As opposed to gels and all that kind of stuff But a slender frame, you know, clearly the exercise is keeping him healthy Yeah Now one reason for getting out of the city, of course, was traffic Which even in 1910
Starting point is 00:18:06 He described to his brother as being hellish Right So it's the pre-it's the pre-exing cycle lane age so he'd have been taking his chances, you know, with buses and trams and cars and things. And he said, I've often thought the danger of accidents when riding through the
Starting point is 00:18:22 centre of Paris. In fact, he once collided with a tram car and almost lost his eye. Wow. Or lost an eye, obviously had more than one, but he almost lost an eye. And yet, carried on. Not bothered by it. I reckon if I collided with the tram car and almost lost an eye, I think that my cycling journey would then come to an end. I'm getting the tram
Starting point is 00:18:38 home after that. Oh, yeah. I'm getting on that tram with my bike. Yeah. Now, we learnt to ride a bike in 1894, but he didn't buy his own bike until he arrived in Munich in 1901, and he was his pride and joy, so he kept it as clean as a surgical instrument. He didn't think anything of a 700 metre climb
Starting point is 00:18:57 if there was a chance to free wheel on the way back down. This was a... Free wheel. That's quite a sweet image, isn't it, of Lenin, with his legs out. With his legs out, it's going, whee! Exactly. Caged me saying, look, no how. Now, this was a time.
Starting point is 00:19:12 when cycling was all the age in Europe, especially competitively over long distances. So the Tour de France, the first one was in 1903, and then the first Giro d'Italia, which is the Italian version, was in 1909. So he wasn't just a fan. He was an exponent.
Starting point is 00:19:28 Now, fortunately for him, his wife Nadia was a relatively happy participant in these trips, or at least she was at first. So she later wrote in her memoir of how the pair often went to Maudon, which is a suburb. to the southwest of Paris
Starting point is 00:19:43 where they could race through the marvellous woods but she soon got quite tired and bored of it especially Lenin's determination to travel mad distances so in a letter to her mother-in-law that she sent in 1911
Starting point is 00:19:57 Nadia remarked how Volodia is making good use of the summer he does his work out in the open he rides his bicycle a lot goes bathing and is altogether pleased with country life this week we've been cycling our heads off we made three excursions
Starting point is 00:20:11 of 70 to 75 kilometres each, which is about 45 miles. He's like a proper Lycra dad. Yeah. She said we were cycling our heads off. Yeah. That feels a very modern phrase. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:25 You know how people often look back at their youth as being simpler times? Yeah. The idea of what Lenin's life became and him looking back to a time where he was just, his life was mainly cycling to the countryside with his wife in France. Yeah. It does sound really good, isn't it? Yeah. It feels like you just made your life far more... What happened?
Starting point is 00:20:45 Well, there were two things he liked, overthrowing Zars and cycling. And fortunately, he tried to do them both. But, you know, because Cameron, David Cameron carried on cycling, didn't he, when he was in office or certainly at the beginning. Jeremy Corbyn, when he was Labour leader, he was still cycling to the House of Commons. If you've got the bug, it won't leave you.
Starting point is 00:21:06 Of course, the best sporting images are British politicians playing five-side football. Oh, yeah, the one of Matt Hancock. Being scared to headball is one of my favorite photographs of all time. But it's always incredible images of panicked politicians trying to get a photo. Yeah, I'm always amazed actually how good Blair, how well Blair does with the head does with Kevin Keegan. But I suppose Kevin Keegan won the bow on door.
Starting point is 00:21:34 So as long as you get contact, he's going to do all the hard work, isn't he? Yeah, exactly. But yeah, I just love the idea of him thinking, God, obviously it's great that, you know, we've had a communist revolution in Russia. I'd love to do a good 40-mile though, but I'm just too busy. I'm too busy.
Starting point is 00:21:57 So Nadia's real view was expressed in a letter sent from Poland in 1913 when she found that fortunately, you cannot do a lot of cycling here because of Vlodia used to abuse that amusement and overtire himself. So you have a lot of it. imagine that he had a different idea to this compared to his wife, but he wasn't even put off
Starting point is 00:22:14 when he had a serious accident riding through the countryside towards Paris. In January 1910 on a trip to watch planes taking off and landing. I mean, he's... It's got a sweet life. This is... I'm thinking about Lenin
Starting point is 00:22:28 in a completely different way now. So they went on a trip to watch planes taken off and landing, which is something I did with my son when he was about three, but it's now grown out of it. It's adorable. He collapsed. I'm delighted with a car. I managed to jump off, he explained later,
Starting point is 00:22:43 and then with the help of a supportive lawyer, sued the driver. Yeah. A Viscount, the devil take him, he sued him for damages. He won the case and he received compensation. It does suppose he drops the name of the supportive lawyer. I'm just thinking about Tom and he's expected to Lincoln Towers. So Lenin's appetite for cycling was such that when friends and fellow revolutionaries came to visit him, whether he was in France or later in Switzerland,
Starting point is 00:23:05 he tried to convince them to go out riding as well. So most of them found a way of avoiding the subject. And a good thing too, because one trip So Lenin and a friend make a 100 kilometre round trip just to buy a bottle of wine. I don't think you can have friends over who aren't into cycling and force them to go out cycling with you if they're not really into. Yeah, I read the Andrew Ronsley book on the Tony Blair government. And it's a bit in sort of around the time of war in Iraq, he went to, I think he was in. I think he was in Camp David and he went to meet Bush
Starting point is 00:23:41 and they were going to talk about the war in Iraq and Afghanistan and Bush is George W Bush was obsessed and still is I think were obsessed with running and he said yeah sure I remember that I've read it
Starting point is 00:23:52 He was like yeah let's let's discuss it but let's do it on a run like Blair had been for run 25 years he was like okay that's incredible yeah sure
Starting point is 00:24:02 so they were just they were running and Blair was trying to keep up with him and he got back in the book He's like, he was telling Shari, but obviously fucks. I mean, he's really fit. I love this idea of political leaders through history
Starting point is 00:24:20 who maybe had their priorities wrong and were spending more time doing something else. Yeah, yeah. Other than leader nation. You know, the obvious Russian equivalent would be Boris Yeltsin. It was just, seemed to be a drunk. Yeah. It was more interested to get up really late.
Starting point is 00:24:36 Yeah. He was still asleep at midday. you're like, mate, there's a war on. You imagine Sky News now if you thought that Kirstama was having a lie-in. They cut to Downing Street and the curtains are still closed upstairs. I've just been reading about...
Starting point is 00:24:54 There was a wrestler in the 1990s called Sid Justice, Psycho Sid. Oh, yeah. He was, I don't know if you remember him. And he was the world champion, but he was more interested in his amateur softball team than he was in wrestling. So he would cancel day. where he had to turn up and be the wrestling world champion
Starting point is 00:25:11 because he wanted to play with his mates and his local softball. Yeah, his little softball. That's amazing. Love that. The wrong priorities. I agree with Tom, though. If you're inviting friends over and they're not into exercise, you can't make them exercise.
Starting point is 00:25:26 That's just not hosting. That's not what being a host is. That's a power play. In these years that Lenin spent outside Russia in the first decade and a half of the 20th century, he embraced all sorts of. exercise. At one point, living in Geneva, 1904, he budded up with a fellow revolutionary, Valentinov. And Valentinov was obsessed with lifting weights and got Lenin into the gym as well.
Starting point is 00:25:50 So he didn't have the gear at home. So Valentinov taught Lenin a technique where he used the handle of a broom. Right. And when a bemused relative walked in, Lenin said, don't disturb us. We're engaged in very important business. Right. So so seriously did he take all this that he encouraged anyone who would listen to do gymnastics every day, often before bare. and then to rub yourself down with a wet towel. Wow. Well, strange is, in these respects, he's actually quite a modern political figure. You know, a figure is in touch with, you know, the modern contemporary appetite for,
Starting point is 00:26:24 especially amongst men for weight training and cycling and physical growth. You know, even long walks to decompress and to restore his mental equilibrium. But he was very much a figure of his time because physical culture was all the age in the first decade of the 20th century as well. So living in Western Europe gave Lenin access not only to equipment, but also to landscapes, to freedom, but also to an entire culture which surrounded cycling, gymnastics, weight training and other forms of physical exercise.
Starting point is 00:26:51 So he could read the magazines about it, collect cigarette cards. You could even watch sports films, the cinema, along with newsreels. Although apparently he didn't like watching films. He was an anti-cinimist, according to his... Really? He preferred going outside. Well, well, well. Wow.
Starting point is 00:27:12 Yeah. Ripped linen. He doesn't look like someone who's massively into weight. No, not at all. I've never had that feeling when I've seen him in. He's very slight. But also, this might have been before creatine.
Starting point is 00:27:23 So you wasn't able to get any of the supplements he needed. Was he putting anything on the end of the broom handle or was it simply just a broom handle? That might be why he was so weak. But that's really interesting, isn't it? It is interesting when these people, you just have this side that you just do not expect. Well, I studied the Russian Revolution at GCSEA level and at university
Starting point is 00:27:46 and thought I knew quite a lot about Lenin, but I didn't know about this at all. But you are right, and I've just Googled imaged him. I mean, he doesn't look like he's got a sort of monthly membership to David Lloyd. Well, cyclists are quite lean, aren't they? Like Bradley Wiggins. Yeah, yeah. Tom's Strong. They're very sinewy, lean.
Starting point is 00:28:10 Yeah, unfortunately, and there's no pictures of him like in sort of tight cycling shorts. He's always in a suit. Imagine the kind of bikes he would have been riding as well. A kind of pre-Soviet age. Clunky, crying out for some WD-40, I imagine. And I think single gear, I think, which would have been a total ball egg on big climbs.
Starting point is 00:28:33 To wrap up this episode, I think there's only one question we can really ask. The situation is this. You've got to save your life by beating either Chairman Mao at ping pong, Lenin in a long-distance cycle ride, or Castro in a game of, let's do one-v-one basketball. Okay. Which you're choosing. Who do you fancy your chances against and are you coming out of this alive?
Starting point is 00:28:59 Castro, not a hope in hell. Yeah, that's completely good. Mao, I am bad at table tennis. I haven't played for about eight years. Although I think Chris mentioned that Mal wasn't particularly good at it. He wasn't great necessarily himself. He was into it. But if he was into it.
Starting point is 00:29:17 Lenin. You do actually cycle, Al. Lenin, I'd take Lenin on. And I'm just hoping that he's too into revolution to have done his training. I think if you've got a modern bike and Lenin is on his pre-Sovic. Yeah, yeah. A Pinarela road bike, you're going to destroy him? I'd back myself. Yeah, I'm going to go, Mao ping pong, simply as you said, Mao isn't good at it.
Starting point is 00:29:47 I'm going to hope that that means he's really, really bad. But I think Lenin probably is the right. Well, you've got very good Hyundai coordination. I reckon you're all secretly quite good at table tennis. Yeah, yeah. But I'm all right. I'm not bad. I reckon if you beat Mao at table tennis, that would actually be worse. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:30:04 So I think I'll play Mao and I'll lose. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, to close it off, we'd like a terrible joke. Go on there. Not surprising Lenin was into cycling, because cycling's all about revolutions, isn't it? Oh. It's not a joke.
Starting point is 00:30:20 It's like a bad advertising slogan. It's the sort of thing. I add to a document when I'm writing for a topical show just to pad out the document. You've got it in the rude gun. I've tipped it over to four. pages now. And now let's make that size 14 font of good
Starting point is 00:30:41 and hit send. And submit. Close the laptop. Perfect. In the bottle of wine. Well, that's it for this week. Hope you enjoy sporting revolutionaries. If you want even more oh what a time, you can go to patreon.com
Starting point is 00:31:00 forward slash oh whatter time where we have that video episode where we rated the BBC archives for historical clips which we discuss on video plus two bonus episodes every month and that does include you'll be glad to know the history of trials The big one.
Starting point is 00:31:17 All for you to enjoy otherwise we'll see you next week. Bye guys! Oh Water Time is now on Patreon you can get main feed episodes before everyone else add free plus access to our full archive of bonus content
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