Oh What A Time... - #198 French Towns & The Kooks (Part 1)

Episode Date: September 13, 2026

This week we’re taking a historical audio holiday to some of our favourite French towns. We’ll head to the very Roman Nîmes, we’ll dine out in Dinan and finally we’ll get the true story of Deauville/Trouville.And elsewhere this week we’re asking: what’s better? Blagging it? Or pure honesty that you have absolutely no idea what’s going on? And do you know much about The Kooks and their burger habit?If you’ve got anything on this or anything else at all: [e-mail] if you want more Oh What A Time and both parts at once, you should sign up for our Patreon! On there you’ll now find:•The full archive of bonus episodes•Brand new bonus episodes each month•OWAT subscriber group chats•Loads of extra perks for supporters of the show•PLUS ad-free episodes earlier than everyone elseJoin us at 👉 patreon.com/ohwhatatimeAnd as a special thank you for joining, use the code CUSTARD for 25% off your first month.You can also follow us on: X (formerly Twitter) at @ohwhatatimepodAnd Instagram at @ohwhatatimepodAaannnd if you like it, why not drop us a review in your podcast app of choice?Thank you to Dan Evans for the artwork (idrawforfood.co.uk).Chris, Elis and Tom x Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Oh Water Time is now on Patreon. You can get main feed episodes before everyone else. Add free. Plus access to our full archive of bonus content, two bonus episodes every month, early access to live show tickets and access to the O Watertime Group chat. Plus if you become an O Watertime All-Timer, myself, Tom and Ellis will riff on your name to postulate

where else in history you might have popped up. For all your options, you can go to patreon.com forward slash O Watertime. Oh, and welcome to Oh, what a time, the history podcast that asks, is it better if you don't know how to do something, you sort of blag it? Or you do what Ellis James does, and you just hold your hands up and say, I'm out of my depth. Then let me explain why. Ellis has just come on the screen and looks like he's zooming to us from the surface of the sun. It's so bright at his end.

And he simply said, yes, and I don't know what to do about it. He just shrugged your shoulder. More than the sun, I think it looks quite celestial. I think it looks like I'm zooming you from heaven. It's like I'm podcasting with the Archangel of Jacob Gabriel. Nice to know that this is what it's going to be like, though, heaven. Nice podcast studio set up. Podcasting heaven.

That's a nice question. What would heaven be to you, Al? I'd just be podcasting around the clock, but I wouldn't need to sleep. Yeah. And you wouldn't have to set up any of the equipment beforehand either. No, no, no, no. Jesus would have done that for you. Jesus has set up the equipment and I've just got to turn up.

And Jesus has prepared my notes. Yeah. So, oh, I suppose Dr. Darley-Worthy's out of a job now. Dr. Donald Lee-Worthy has prepared my notes. Jesus has printed off my notes. Jesus' printer works. And who set up your laptop and dealt with all sorts of, you know, connected me at the Yeti microphone.

Is that Judas? That was John the Baptist. John the Baptist. It would be, the canteen of the great broadcasting house in the sky, would be a fascinating place to be. Terry Wogan. knocking around. Of course.

What are they serving there, Chris, out of interest. Let's really get into this. What are they serving at the Heaven's canteen? What, in the canteen of podcasting heaven? Yeah, what are they serving there? Different flavoured clouds? Or dimsum? Dimsome.

It was a big theme of Terry Wogan that the cuisine, the BBC was terrible. So would that go through? Would that go through to heaven? The canteen in 1984, I don't know if you remember this passage, where he bites into the hot dog, a lot of water comes out. Yes. That was based on the BBC canteen because Orwell wrote a lot of scripts to the BBC in the 40s.

Is that true? Yeah, I've eaten in the BBC canteen. See, Jeremy Glarkton got a lot of grief for punching someone about his lunch, didn't he? On the set of top gear. Actually, it turns out he's being served a sausage which is 98% water. Yeah.

I'm not a violent man, but maybe I understand now. You would like to hope that the canteen is better. in podcasting heaven and that there's decent options. The first time I ever walked into the old BBC canteen at TV centre I saw a band

and I thought, wow, I am in the cultural centre of the universe. I can't believe I've walked in. This is about 2006 I walked in and there were the cooks. Nice. With their little straw hats on? I don't remember them having hats on.

But I remember it vividly. Maybe they had hats on, I can't remember. They'll have been filming a Jules Holland or something probably. Yeah, it would have been. And did you approach them? There was no one else in the canteen but me and the cooks. And so I joined the queue. It's pronounced cooks, Chris, by the way.

They make the food. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you just give me a thumbs up for that joke, Elle? I've never got a thumbs up for a joke before. Yeah, I did, yeah. I liked it so much. I just did that to give you a thumbs up. It's like a football manager, a little wink to the midfielder, you carry on, son.

You keep doing what you do. You've dragged us back to one all. You carry on, son. Yeah, you carry on. I'll tell you why. I forgot if the cooks were wearing hats, because they did something so astonishing that they became the only thing I really vividly remember about this interaction. It was their choice of food now. We'll do this like a quiz.

Did they, A, ask for lasagna and garlic bread, but leave the lasagna. Did they... Great. I'm going to a quick question. They. So are they asking for this in unison? How's this working? They're eating as a band.

They're saying just one massive plate with one big lasagna and loads of garlic bread and we'll just eat it like a trough. They all got the same thing. Okay, fine. So they're ordering as one, fine. Was it A, they asked the lasagna and garlic bread, but hold the lasagna.

Was it B, just fill up this plate with sausages? Great. Or was it C fill up this plate with a combination of just burgers on their own and burgers with some cheese on top? Are those burgers as in just the patty or actually a fully assembled burger? Just the patty. Well, they are great options, Chris. Great options for this quiz, because I like all of them. No matter what they did, I'm really pleased.

Did the cooks before recording Jules Holland have a lunch or a dinner of just garlic bread, of just sausages, or just burgers, like dogs. Because I say all of them are the wrong thing to have as you're doing there before you do a live TV show. Every one of them is wrong. Mad choices. So let's knock things out. I think maybe not, I think a plate of sausages feels maybe not a plate of sausages. So I'm going to get rid of plate of sausages.

If I had to eat one of the three, that would be my choice. Maybe it's the easiest. If they were the only choices in the canteen of podcasting ever, I've eaten sausages an awful lot. Can I say, as I was giving you the options allowed, I thought the sausages are the most sane option. Yes. So, well, there you are.

That tells us it isn't the sausages. Well, is it? As I was listing them out, you need to tell me. I've got rid of sausage. I've got a confident answer. I think it's the burgers, but it's still crazy. I'm going burgers. What about you, Al?

I think it's the garlic bread. I reckon, do what my thinking is? I reckon they'd have thought a lasagna before recording a jewels is too heavy, but I do like garlic bread and I do need something. And I'm also not a cartoon dog, so I'm not going to eat a plate of sausages. So I'm going to go garlic bread. What do you think? Where's the money? Where is the money going?

Okay. I'm just going to say this. One of you is right. Would either of you like to change your answer based on that information? No, I'm sticking with the burgers. Sticking with the burgers. I can reveal Ellis,

you are incorrect. Tom, you have won. It was burgers. Just burgers. That's so weird. So weird. Now you've got to imagine them eating it. So they're picking up the burger

and it's just flopping around in their hand as well. There's not enough, it's not sure enough, is it? Like a sausage has a rigidity to it. You can hold the sausage, but the burger without the bun is just flopping around. You did it like little kids. You'd use a knife and fork. Oh, maybe that's the way you'd do it.

This is actually, I was talking about this. Oh, I saw Simon Price, a friend of mine who was a journalist was talking about this. That's a change in British English of the last 30, 40 years. When I was a kid, a beef burger was the patty. Yes. became a hamburger once it was in a roll. Yeah, that's interesting. Yeah.

So what we would now refer to as a burger was a hamburger, but the burger you might have with chips on its own. And that is now referred to as a pan. And if you're lucky peas, if your parents were feeling particularly health-conscious peas. L, where were you having this conversation? Please don't tell me it was in public. If to want to...

To be a four pass in a pub. Was it singles night? Having this conversation. Is this what your podcast in heaven is going to be like, Al? Yeah, yeah. Burger Pogne. What are you giving free reign? This is, I think that's a very interesting observation about the change of farming,

of the use of the English language. Well, let me cut you a new one, El. Beef burger to cheeseburger. That, I suppose I also assimilate, beef burger, to me, would originally have been just the patty. But if you say a cheeseburger, I then know it must be in the bun with the cheese in it. Yes. There's a difference there.

Yeah, yeah. I'm actually getting involved in this. I quite like it now. I've coming around to it. What the Cooke's had is not a cheeseburger. No. It's a beef burger with cheese on the top. It's a cry for help.

It's a very weird choice. I think I'd describe it as perfect preparation for Jules Holland. It becomes a cheeseburger once you introduce bread and lettuce and sauce and sauce and. pickles, all that kind of stuff. At the time, seeing the cooks eat that burger, I thought that is one of the maddest things I've ever seen. But in the years that follow, like people eat like heavily protein diets, don't they? Were the cooks way ahead of their time, culinary speak?

Yeah, they were ahead of the game. They were way ahead. Is it the Atkins, isn't it? Yeah, is it like a carb-free diet? I hadn't heard of it at the time. It might have been. It's the kind of thing that now you would assume was a sort of strange health choice, but at the time, just weird.

It's how they squeeze into their incredibly skinny jeans, Chris Lowe. They had to eat purely protein-based diet. Yeah, maybe it was just carbs for the cooks. Well, there you go. Here's a question for our dear listeners. Have you ever seen a cool rock band doing something decidedly uncool out in the real world? Oh, that's a great question. You get in contact.

So it has to be quite a trendy act. We're thinking, Oasis. Do you want to name one? What's another trendy act? Arctic Monkeys. There you go. The fact you cannot name a cool rock band. And the fact you're coming.

kind of by association, suggesting the cooks are a cool rock. Yeah. I mean, wet leg. Wet leg, there you are. Have you seen wet leg at a water park, which actually would be fitting?

It's exactly where you get a wet leg. Do you know, though, I think watching bands do anything normal is funny. Yes. Yeah. Yeah, yeah,

yeah. I once saw James Dean Bradford and Manick Street pictures in a cafe in Cardiff order pasta and chips. Did you? Which is the sort of opposite of the cooks diet. Yeah, It's double carb.

Peer carbs, no protein. But that is a thing that's called half and half. I've got a northern friend who lives, I've got many northern friends, but the particular northern friend who lives, it's not my one northern friend. I'm very much open to more, I've bloody more northern friends.

This tick northern friend says it's called half and half. It's half pasta, half chips, and it's the thing that he would eat. Well, in Cardiff, it would be half half enough is rice and chips. Ah, well, pasta and chips, apparently in Middlesbrough. Or Wales and South Wales would be rice. So, There we go. Have you seen a cool rock band doing something decidedly uncool? Do you get in contact with the show?

So we've discussed the cooks eating beef burgers, a very British image and not something you'd see happening in the country that we'll be discussing over the next hour. We're discussing French towns, or of course you don't eat beef burgers, you eat quality. Cochavan. Oh, Big Ben, red phone boxes, the houses of parliament, the coaxes, the cusses, you eat. eating a plate of burgers. That was great at the 2012 Olympic ceremony, wasn't it? When the cooks came out and ate Burghers just before Mr. Bean. That was first on Danny Boyle's list, was there?

We've got to get the cooks eating a plate of burgers. We've got to be followed the NHS, the Queen jumping out of a helicopter, Pallington Bear, the Industrial Revolution, a family getting ready for a Saturday night. And the cooxy-ed-a-carb-free plate of burgers. I'm going to tell you, El, it's got fourth plinth written all over it, that, isn't it? That's what you want, Trafalgar Square. 48-hour installation, the cooks that eat beat burgers. It's great as well, just before every big royal wedding.

Just before the royal family come out to the balcony, the cooks come out to eat some burgers, just to get everyone going. The old REF fly past the red arrows as the coax are unveiled eating a plate of burgers in their skinny cheese Britain Oh my God

Absolutely It's the one thing There's complete cross-party agreement on that, isn't they? Nigel Farage Finally we see eye to eye Badenock They all agree that the cooks The cooks eating

Puck's eating A lot of burgers What would As we're talking about France today, what would be the French equivalent? It's D'Arf Punkin'n eating. A crock madame. There we are, a crock madame without the bread. So just the ham.

Even that genuinely sounds cool. The goods eating burgers. It's so British and I'd call. Jean-Michel-Jacques just eating the little tube of chocolate from a pan of chocolate. It's a myth of French. Different quality. Very different quality. So today's episodes we say we are talking about France and we are talking about.

It's so sad. A big royal funeral as well. The cooks have to walk down, pow-mouse, sadly chomping on a burger. Dressed all in black. Dressed all in black. Just before the casket comes through. Yeah. As, you know, Richard Dimbledby or David Dimbledby, whoever is who does the commentary.

The cook's eating their funeral burgers, of course. It's a tradition stretching back about 20 years. It's one of the more modern traditions. First spotted by Chris Scull, who is up there in podcasting heaven. Of course, the king is slain into the earth. Sadly, the king has passed, and respectfully, slowly the cooks are eating their burgers in the background. Very slow, respectful munch. As the cooks throw bits of burghers.

into the grave. Well, it's actually one of the things I look forward to on Remembrance Day, but the heads of state laying flowers at the cenotaph and then come down. And then come the Cooke's. The one day of the year they don't eat the burgers, they lay them down. Yeah, absolutely. In memorial.

One massive burger with lots of squidges of ketchup around the edge. It does actually resemble. So it looks like a poppy, yeah. It looks like a poppy. The Memorial Burger, the Memorial Cooks Burger, as we remember are fallen. Right. Let's get to the history. Okay, today we're talking about France. We're not talking about the cooks. We're talking about the home of cooks, France. And we're talking about great towns and great cities and the history of those places in France. It's going to be a really fun one, I think, today. Chris has never been more excited about one of his sections. Where are you talking about Chris? You said, I've been there. I've been there. Names. Neems. The history of Neme's. Before we'd even read the stuff and we just had the time. Chris asked Ellis if he could swap sections with him. He was so keen to talk about Names.

Names is one of my favorite places in the world. And it's so impressive. I think in terms of all the different places I've been in the world, this city more than any other takes you back. It's literally like a time machine. You go there and you can imagine it. You can feel what it was like to be a Roman city. It's incredible.

Fantastic. I mean, France has that in abounds, isn't it really? There's so many of these medieval cities where it's just, when you're walking down the street, it really does transport you back in time. And so it's a fascinating thing to be talking about the history of these places. Before we get into that, though, let's do a little bit of correspondence, shall we? The cooks have been in contact to say, have you? Don't suppose you've got any spare burgers.

We need to meet you anywhere in London. Don't have cash. But we'll sign whatever you want me to sign. Regards the coax in unison. No, Joseph Feeleon says, the Pret-Coyne. Now, this blew my mind. I had no idea that this existed. Joseph, thank you for telling me about this. This is a fantastic thing. And I'm annoyed I don't have one. Good morning, lads. I've been listening from the start, but have never had cause to get in touch. But then your conversation veered onto the topic of getting free prep coffees. And I knew finally my time had arrived. So we discussed this recently, how prep did this thing where every so often in a week, they're supposed to give out free coffees. It's one of their marketing things. I've never got one. But I have friends who have got them. I always assumed that it was young members of staff giving coffees to young customers they fancied, and that is why I never went one because I'm 45.

Interesting. And I've got a wedding ring, so I'm obviously not single. It feels that from a business point of view that Pratt would have to insist that that isn't what's happening, because that feels a little bit creepy after a while, isn't it? If it's just hoties getting coffees. She's their tagline, actually. I think the artist is getting coffees. Because you'd go in, if you were confident enough, you'd be like, yeah.

Okay. I think today's a free coffee day, actually. Here's my guess, Elle, that that is, technically, if you ask the head of Pratt, not their process, but the reality is probably what happens. I think that's probably a fair point. Which would explain why I've never had one. Because I've got a wedding ring on, so I'm obviously not single, and I'm 45. Yeah.

Exactly. That's glinting in the sun. They realize there's no point. Now, Joseph says I have had, well, Joseph, we now know is a hottie, I have had a number of free coffees from Pret. For around three months, I didn't pay for my morning oak flat white once because I struck up a friendship with one of the servers. Oh, here we go, Elle. Once you saw me playing Pokemon Go on my phone. And after that, they had a free coffee waiting for me every morning.

Every morning. That's amazing. That's another level. Until one day, they simply didn't work there anymore. However, much more interestingly, the same person also once handed me this large heavyweight coin. Now, I'm holding this up for you guys to see. It's a massive gold coin, which says Pratt on it, which was given to me around 2017 and would have entitled me to a free coffee and a sandwich at any Pret.

I never used it, partly because I like a trinket, but also because, let's be honest, who among us would really be bold enough to go into a Pratt and attempt to pay for food with a novelty coin? as a fair point. I just have a look on eBay, and one of these coins is currently on sale for around 50 quid, but I've never wanted to sell it. Now I know why. I was always destined to send this email. Love what you're doing.

Thanks for all the laughs. Well, thank you, Joe. And that is a fantastic email. I want to know whether once you, do you give them the Pratt coin and then you get your sandwich thing? Or is this like a Nando's black card where you just show your coin and you can get infinite sandwiches and coffees from Pratt? That would be my question.

So it's not one free meal. It's free meals for life. I think it might be one free meal. But as long as you don't hand the coin over. Let me have a quick look here. The Pratt coin, here we are. It says here, the Pratt coin is a drink token or physical souvenir token issued by Pratt Amager during customer kindness campaigns.

Pret staff hand out these physical tokens to customers to encourage them to share a free drink with a friend, a colleague or a stranger. Oh, so you're supposed to hand that coin onto someone else. So they have a free sandwich of a drink on me. Are you going to do that? We're just going to keep the coins when you need a sandwich. which you're going to drink. That feels probably the way I'd approach it, I guess, really. Yeah. I, I've never, I've never heard of this. Yeah. Well, they exist. Joseph, thank you for sending that in. Hopefully one day, us three, we'll get a free coffee from Pratt.

If anyone here works in Pratt, tell us which branch, and we'll come to it, and we'll have a free coffee, and we can come back and brag about it on the show. Maybe that's something we can try and Hang on a minute. Lads, it's just dawned on me. We have a successful podcast. If I were to say to you, you could have a black card from any restaurant or foodery, what would you have? And speak directly to the brand managers.

The one I eat in most is prep by a long way. Yeah. I think that's what you want, isn't it? Nothing free ever. There's no point getting a black card for Michelin-starred restaurant with 16-course menus, because when am I going there? I'm not going to do that. But Pratt would actually be really, really useful.

Yeah. I could get one of those baked things or the Swedish meatball wrap for free. And what a rush. So if you do work for Pratt. My kids like Wagamamas. I think Pizza Express. Oh, interesting. Yeah.

Are you going in there enough to use it? I've had some of the best nights of my life in Pizza Express. You've had a really depressing life at this. Right. Joseph, thank you for emailing in. Really loved that. email. Great to know that coin is out there. Hopefully one day we will get one ourselves. If you want to get in contact with the show, there's many ways to do it. Here's how. All right, you horrible look. Here's how

you can stay in touch with the show. You can email us at hello at oh what a time.com and you can follow us on Instagram and Twitter at oh what a time pod. Now clear off. Right now, every week on this show, if you subscribe to our top tier patron, oh what time, all timers, we will take one of the names of people subscribing to that tier and we will figure out where in history you may have been before. We've got a name for you this week, gents. It is Kristen Lane. I think maybe early 90s supermodel.

Although you always say that. No, they know me, Campbell. It feels like we'd be hanging out with that lot. A huge star in the early 90s. Yeah, was briefly engaged to, Brad Pitt. Perfect. There you are.

That's great. I'm really liking that. If Kristen Lane feels like the love interest of Spider-Man. Now, that is quite simply superb. That's very good. That is, that's the cooks-eating burgers. If anyone now deserve a free prep, it's Chris Scull after that. Give the man a free prep for trying out road.

They're deeply in love, but maybe. be she's a reporter. Yeah, yeah. She realizes who Spider-Man is, his true identity. And the fact that he can produce spiders web from his wrists gives her the ick. She's like, I did like you until you did that. And then it was weird. I'm not into it anymore.

Another option is that Kristen Lane sounds like somewhere you lived in the second year of university that you've forgotten about. Do you remember we lived together on Christian Lane? We didn't be Kristen Lane. Remember it was by the Tesca Oh, Christian Lane, yeah Oh yeah And your room at dump

Yes, my rumour damp When the Lungre had that Lunger never saw to it Yeah, yeah 20 years later You're still playing the TV licence there Yeah, exactly Your post is still going to Kristen Lane

So there you go, Kristen Lane You can either be an early 90s supermodel You can be Spider-Man's love interest Or you can be a small street Where students live It's up to you, you choose You choose Not for us to choose

Well, there you go. If you want your name speculated upon, if you want extra bonus episodes, we've got one in childhood that just come out, here's how you can do that. Hello again, you horrible lot. Enjoying the show. Well, why not show the love

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What are you waiting for? Stop dawdling! Well, this week we are discussing French towns and cities. got the spectacular southern French town of Nimes to discuss in part two. And in part three, I'll be discussing Doville and Truvill, one of which was the inspiration for Casino Royale. Very nice. And to kick things off today, I'm going to be telling you lovely boys all about the city of Dinan in Brittany. It's got amazing history this place. I think, kind of,

it's fair to say, the most famous medieval French town is. Carcasson. Are you aware of Carcasson? You've been to Carcasson? I haven't. There's an amazing French medieval town called Sala. Right. Okay. Which is in Ote Vienne, which completely unaffected by World Wars 1 and 2.

Oh, amazing. So it's just this amazing example of a French medieval town is a fantastic place. So I know of Carcasson. I'd never been there. Carcasson, similarly, is just mind-blowing. I happened to drive past it about three weeks ago on the way to where we were staying in France, which wasn't quite as nice.

And it was, I wish we were there. But it's incredible. It's got this huge citadel walls. Like, you can't believe how big this structure is surrounding the town in which people live. And here's a fun fact. You would have seen it actually as it was used for the long shots of Nottingham Castle in Robin Hood Prince of Thieves. You seen Robin Hood Prince of Thieves? Oh, yes.

So that's where you've seen it. When you see Nottingham Castle, that is what you're seeing. You've seen Carcasson. It's also a place that has kind of the legacy of thousands of years of human inhabitation from Neolithic, right through to Roman, post-Roman, medieval, modern periods. And it is one of the most beautiful and because of that most visited tourist spots in the entirety of France. It's like, that's the problem with these places. They just get full of people deluged because they're just amazing. And that was what my taxi driver said.

The place you're going to isn't as pretty, but it's not as busy. So we took solace in that as we drove past as amazing. place. However, there is a second French medieval city that is just as incredible, but doesn't get the same amount of tourists or attention, and that is Dino, which you will find just across the English channel in Brittany. After Daryl, our fantastic historian, Dr. Daryl Lee Worthy sent us this stuff, I looked at images of Dianon, and it is just so beautiful, so much so that I looked into the cost of getting a ferry trick across there, because it's the easiest way to go there with the family would be get a ferry across to Brittany.

But it's an eight-hour overnight ferry, and I'm trying to work out if that would have been an absolute nightmare with young children. Is that fun or is that a nightmare? Overnight did sleep. Yes. We did the oven, the first time we went to Brittany as a family, we did the overnight ferry,

and we got locked in our cabin and the captain had to let us out. What? Didn't he have more important things to be doing? Why is the captain dealing with that? We'd never been abroad before. And all my friends have been abroad And I was so excited Because I was the last one

And then we got locked in the cabin And we couldn't get out And then I was travel sick in a bag And I thought, I don't think France is worth it How old were you? 10 And how did you alert the captain? We banged on the door

And a German family went to get someone important And they had to get a toolkit because the five of us were all in. My little sister would have been quite young. She'd have been, I don't know, four or five. They went straight to the captain. Yeah, yeah. That feels like such a choice.

Again. It just has to be. I don't want to label this point too much, but it does feel like there's someone else on the boat who should be dealing with your lot more. Oh, yeah. Well, no, what happened was obviously the ferry crashed. It was awful. All our fault.

Well, that's what really happened to the Titanic, wasn't it? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The captain went downstairs trying to let someone out there. Yeah, there was a Welsh family who was stuck in one of the cabins. And he said, don't worry, I'll sort this. If you want a job done properly, do it yourself. Exactly. I don't need to be here. This boat is indestructible. Right. Back to Dina, though. Okay. So it's a lovely place. There's plenty to see there, plenty of history. There's the walls, the chateau through great churches.

And also plenty of finely preserved medieval buildings to gaze at. It's got a real sort of wide the hell do I live in Britain feel to it. I'm looking at it now. It's amazing. Absolutely. And it began life in the first half of the 11th century. basically a young upstart compared to the town's neighbour, which is the much older settlement of Lejean, which originated as a Roman camp. And as is often the way with these towns in the past, it only came up out as a result of feudal land grants

and basically the awarding of a baronial title to a man called Goulslin, who is the son of Hamon the first, the Viscount of Alley, and that is the Lord of the Widerer Region. I mean, are you glad we don't live in a time where there are lords presiding, over your local area who can essentially decide what you do and what you can't do.

I mean, or do you think in a way it would be nice to have that structure in your life? Because imagine that, you'd just be saying to this Lord, mate, you don't know me. I'd be crap at that. Why are you making me do this? How are you feeling about the Lord of Wonstead, Chris? Yeah, I imagine we'd probably get on. You think? Maybe formulate some rules together.

I reckon you'd be quite a good Lord of Wonsted, actually. Because of benevolent dictator. Yeah, turn on the Christmas lights. I'm just looking at pictures of Dinot. And I tell you what it reminds me of, the opening sequence of Beauty and the Beast. Oh, yes. Yeah, yeah.

He really has that long. God, he's cooks eating the burgers again. It's so idealised. It's like the architecture. It almost looks fake. It's so beautiful in French. Absolutely. And it has an amazing.

amazing history as well. Goulson, he first establishes a fortification on the site of Diena, and he is first mentioned as a local baron in the year, 1040 AD. So this is when it's starting, around 1040, and that gives us a starting point for the story. And to be fair to this lord, it goes from strength to strength. The town grows very quickly due to the trade which enters the town via the port and the nearby river Rance. And before long, ships are traveling from Dienan to England, to Flanders, to the Iberian Peninsula, eventually for the Americas, but that's way down the line, of course. And in fact, Dino was sufficiently well known by 1060s. Remember, it started in 1040s. It's 20 years in. It achieves the medieval equivalent of being

added to the Lonely Planet Guide. Do you know what that is? What do you think I'm referring to there? What happens to put this place properly on the map in the 1060s? There's a bit of a clue. Is it on the bea tapestry? It is on the bea tapestry. Exactly. It's stitched into the Bayotapestry as part of scene 19 and into the history of the Norman conquest. That's 20 years in and you're being stitched into Bayotra. But you've got to be happy if you're the Lord there. Things are sort of going quite well there, I think. Well, there are all those new towns built after the war.

What are any of them done by the 60s? Okay, that's a fair point. You know. But the Bayo Tapestry's legacy. That's what you've achieved there. Have you seen the Bayo Tapestries in the news today because Prince Charles and Emmanuel Macron got a private viewing of it? I think it was either today or yet.

yesterday. And Prince Charles pointed out, King Charles, geez, King Charles pointed out his favourite bit of the Bayo Tapestry, which was that William the Conqueror, when he came over for the Battle of Hastings, brought a huge cask of wine for all the soldiers. That's stitched into the tapestry. Oh, I love that. Good on him. I assume you go sort of arrow in the eye. Just this root one, yeah. Go to the big root one, though, isn't it? Yeah. I've loved, I've seen the Beah Tapestry. Have you? not since 19, in 1992, just before I started secondary school. Well, it hasn't changed.

Yes. No, but I think it's sold out now. Yeah, it's sold out for, you know. I kind of wish they were still updating it. It'd be quite nice. It'd be about 10 miles long. Well, they need to now stitch in the cooks-eaten burgers at the BBC Canteen, of course. With the final panel.

So the reason it's included in this tapestry is to commemorate the Battle of Dinant in 1065, when an army answer rule to William the Duke of Normandy, who would go on to become William the Conquer, and involving Harold Godwinson, who was, you know, one day being the king of England, so some big names there, surrounded the place, they lay siege and demanded its surrender, or to get back the Duke of Brittany.

I can't think of a place in history. I'd rather be less than a city under siege, basically trapped in the walls with nowhere to go. I can. Where's that? Center parks, the weekends, the Queen died. when people were stuck in their shalys. Is that what happened?

What do you mean? Yeah, it's one of the greatest PR cock-ups of the last 25 years, I think. What happened? People were in Centre Parks, and then the Queen died, and Top Brass at Centre Parks panicked and thought, I mean, it's going to be bloody surely. We can't open the zip lines today.

It's disrespectful if people are on zip lines on today of all days. But she hadn't died at Centre Park's going down the rapid. Yes. So they said, we're not chucking you out, but you're not allowed to leave your shalys. And all these people are like, there's nothing to do in the shawly. And you have to look sad. Yes, there is mourn. Yeah, mourn and watch telly.

I mean, that is insanity. Yeah, yeah, it's hilarious. What's a choice? It's one of my favourite news stories ever, I think. So what I would say is you can still go down the slides, but you have to do it in a somber respectful manner. And wearing black. And wearing black. You had to wear black shorts, exactly.

Or black swimmers. Exactly. There's a way to do it in a way not to do it. So the chateau de Dan, which still stands, was eventually built in place of the original castle in the 14th century. And it's remodeled at various points thereafter, right up until the early 18th century, when it became recognized as a monument in the 1880s,

to be exact, some 500 years after construction. And as for Gosselan's family, it continued to leave its mark. He had three sons, had his heir, Oliver, his second son, Roland, and his third son, Geoffrey or Geoffroy? Roland doesn't feel like a king's name, is it? It really doesn't. Also, having Googled it, I've got to say this.

Centre Park's reversed a controversial decision to evict holiday makers for 24 hours during the funeral of Queen Elizabeth II in September 2020 after facing an intense public backlash. And I think that's fair enough. I think that backlash is justified. It's also thought, by the way, that Joffreye, this son, which is a weird name, Joffry, accompanied William the Conquer on the Norman invasion and conquest of England in 1066. So this family of achieving things, while Garzalan's great-grandson ended up as the Lord of Ludlow in Shropshire with the family's holdings.

This is wealth. Landhold is stretching from Cornwall through to Devon up to the West Country, the West Midlands and the Welsh Marshes. So they had some land. In fact, since 1972, Dinan has been twinned with XVIwomen. Smith in Devon because of this fact. Now, back to Dinaan itself, the town continued to grow as a barons gained power, most notably, it became the resting place for the heart of Bertrand de Gousselin, who was a Breton knight. Are you aware of this guy who fought fiercely against the English armies during the Hundred Years' War? He was born near Dinaw in 1320. He came to fame as a knight in the 1350s.

I think that's quite a cool thing to come to fame for as a knight, people saying, what do you do for a living? night. It's quite a baller move that. I'm a sort of enigmatic heart bloke. Yeah. Just paid to kill. Yeah. Absolutely. And I'm really good on horses. To combat the English this night, he used form of guerrilla warfare. He's avoiding pitch battles and picking off vulnerable English formations instead. He was unbelievably successful and lauded in France. And the English, incidentally, I thought it was quite interesting, they employed their own hidden run tactics called Chevalchet. Are you aware of Chevalchet? This is fascinating. No, I've no idea what this was. It's basically a way of

avoiding all conflict. Sign me up. But instead, breaking civilian morale by destroying crops, burning villages and stealing livestock. Sign me up. It's a guerrilla warfare, isn't it? Yeah. Exactly. It is basically early guerrilla warfare. That's essentially it. But

literally not even trying to take out any troops, it's completely about crushing the ground. It's being annoying. So, in 1370, de Guislan is made the Constable of France, which is the pinnacle of the French army, a rare honour for a low-born individual at that time. And after his death in July 1380, his body is intern in the royal tomb in Sant'anis, but his heart is removed and sent to Danao, where it remains today.

And I suppose the final point is what is Dana today? What is the situation after all that growth and war and all this craziness before? Well, I mean, his heart's not going to remain. Well, it's the same still there. hide. Yeah. It would have... In the freezer.

It would have... Oh, in the freezer. It would have just decomposed, wouldn't it? Well... There's an old chapel near me with a crypt underneath it and once a year they do like crypt tours.

And in there, there's like... It was owned by one of the big barons who owned the East India's shipping company. And it was like this wayward son who went to Italy and he died. And rather, they basically couldn't cart his body back to the UK. So they just took his heart out and set the heart back in a jar. But in the crypt,

there's this old... frivoled heart in a jar, which you can look at. It's like 300 years old, yeah. So is it in formaldehyde or something? No, it's not. It's just loose. It's just in a pot. Yes.

It's so mad. You can go look at it. Like hair clips. Yeah. It's so this shrivel old, like, looks like a walnut or something like that. To be fair, Chris, you did go and see it. I did go and see it. Once a year they open up the crypt and you can have a look and they'll tell you.

Well, you say that. And I am definitely going to go and see it. next year. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, it's September. This is my mouth. I am there. I think it might make a good video episode, actually.

Maybe we should consider this. It's mad. You go see a shriveled heart. Yeah, it must see a shriveled heart in the jar. Would it be disrespectful to video a shriveled heart? I think maybe, yeah. Yeah. It's a crypt, so there's much worse than that.

So the rumor is for his heart was there. There are now statues and monuments to this night, by the way, through Dernan. Although due to his close association with France, they've been attacked by Breton nationalist, so he's a bit of a divisive finger. The church itself also had a bit of a funny old time since it was built. During the French Revolution, it was secularised and turned into a temple of reason. So it's a place devoted to the cult of reason after the ban on Catholicism was imposed. And then when the cult itself dissipated in 1974 and Rob Spier's replacement,

the cult of the supreme being came in, since Saviur was turned into a hayloft instead and did not become a church again, or rather a basilica, until 1801. But it's an amazing place. It's called this history. And as you've seen from looking at images, it looks as it did. And that's what's just amazing. It's like there's a place to visit apparently. You really feel the history because so little of it has changed.

So that is the history of this place. I'm scrolling through images of it now. It looks absolutely fantastic. Yeah. Yeah. It looks like an amazing place. There you go. And that is the history of Dono.

Right. Coming up in part two, I'll be telling you all about Neme. and I'll be telling you about Doville and Truvill all that's look forward to If you want part two right now You can get it via patron.com 4 slash oh watertime

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