Ologies with Alie Ward - Minisode: All of My Secret Travel Trips + Some Updates

Episode Date: April 30, 2019

THAT'S RIGHT IT'S A MINISOHDA FROM MINNESOHDA. On the last stop of a six-state Midwest tour interviewing -ologists for future episodes, your ol' Dadward Von Podcast was going to serve up a re-run this week. HOWEVER, I love you all too much and instead I recorded a solo episode in my rental car of the best travel tips I've amassed from the last decade of being on the road. How to pack, what to pack, ideas for mini-trips that don't cost a lot, airport etiquette, cheap flight strategies, why first class actually kinda sucks, face hammocks, how to avoid single-use plastics on the road, offsetting your carbon footprint, jet lag busters, hydration reminders and more. A compact quick episode chock-o-block with secret tips to make your trips go smoothly. Recorded in a rental car in broad daylight in Minneapolis.Also a donation went to: www.carbon fund.org.Sponsor links: Nutter Puffs amazon.com/popchips (code: 20OLOGIES); Calm www.calm.com/ologies; CLR www.CLRbrands. comHuge thank you to all of the folks in the Ologies Transcribers Facebook group and Emily White for making transcripts a reality. If you need a professional transcriptionist: [e-mail]. She is truly a gem.Support the show: http://Patreon.com/ologies

Oh, hey, it's a dog and a baby, Bjorn Halliwood. Back with a little tiny mini episode of oligies. Okay, listen, many of you on Patreon were like, dad, take a week off for the sake of all that is disheveled and smelly. And if you are on patreon.com slash oligies, you've seen, I think, like 11 posts this week titled Call for Questions,

in which I ask you to submit questions for the guests. Cause I've been in the Midwest, seeing Kansas, Nebraska, Iowa. I saw both Dakotas and one Minnesota and a Wisconsin. I've been doing interviews with oligists who have been on my list for like literal years. So I finally, finally made the trek out. So many interviews in a week

that I've literally lost my voice. So with so many miles and a bunch of delayed flights, an April snowstorm, I was gonna just take a week off since I'm harvesting so many future episodes for all of our brain areas. And I've had no time not being on the road or doing interviews. But then I thought, spring's here, summer's coming.

I travel so very much. Perhaps I should go into my rental car, parked here on a side street of Metropolitan Minneapolis and just record a quick episode, like a weirdo talking into a microphone in full daylight. So far no one's looking at me. To record a quick episode of travel tips from someone who cannot remember

what the inside of her own house looks like. So here, behold, some tips for your next business trip. Perhaps you have a well-deserved vacation coming or maybe you're just on the lamb and you wanna make the most of the space in your duffel bag before you're apprehended. And as long as I've got you here in this rental car in Minneapolis,

I wanted to tell you about some updates. So you know that part of my New Year's resolution was to donate to some foundations and some causes and some organizations and also to make the podcast more accessible with bleeped versions and with transcripts. So I am really, really happy to announce that this past week some transcript

and some bleeped episodes started rolling out. So I wanna tell you about some of the transcripts that are available. Oh, this is so rad. So if you want transcripts of vulcanology, evolutionary biology, salamac, morphocology, sharks, entomology, primatology, functional morphology, eschatology, lepidopterology, radiology,

toothology, cosmology, part one and two, zymology, gelatology, conservation technology, surgical oncology, cyanology, herpetology, cephalogy, estiotology, personality, psychology, felonology, microbiology, and salinology are all up right now. Now these transcripts were lovingly transcribed by the Facebook Allergies Transcribers Group.

This was headed by Captain Queen of my Heart, Emily White, who is a professional transcriber who headed up a group of volunteers. She's amazing. If you need a transcriber for anything, hire Emily White at Gmail. Hire Emily White at Gmail is her Gmail. She's so fantastic.

And I really wanna thank each and every person who sat there and listened at a slow speed and transcribed every sound effect, every word, every DJ air horn, so that these episodes are available to folks who need them. Special, special thanks to some superstars, Rosie Thomas, Chris Noble, Wendy Fick,

Azriel King, Stuart Caswell, Mike Melchior, Jude Kenney, y'all have done so much and each and every one of you who have helped out. Now at the bottom of the transcripts, you can see exactly who did it and a tagline of, hey, who they are and every single person who's made these available. I cannot thank you enough.

This is a dream to have them up. Thank you, Emily White, for heading this whole project. Thank you to each and every person. The Allergies Transcribers Facebook Group is one of the most cherished corners of the internet and I love every single person in there doing this work. So if you need a transcript of any of those episodes, more are rolling out soon.

Kelly Dwyer, who's my website designer, put buttons where you can click and PDF of the transcript comes up. There's also some bleeped episodes that are going up right now. Thank you, Jared Sleeper and Caleb Patton for bleeping all of those. So those are starting to roll out.

So, bleeped episodes, transcripts are coming. I will let you know as soon as we're all caught up but you can kind of poke around and see what's up already at alleywar.com slash oligies. So that's a huge, huge update. Okay, so travel tips for you coming from your dear old dad ward who travels way too much,

who has a sore throat from interviewing oligies this week and just wants to leave you with something this week that might help you in some way. So go use a restroom before we hit the road. Kiddos, let's go. County of Three, I'm leaving without you. Okay, here we go. I'm leaving soon.

I'm leaving soon. I'm leaving soon. I'm leaving soon. I'm leaving soon. I'm leaving soon. Okay, first step, packing. Everyone hates packing. I hate packing.

You hate packing. Your mom hates packing. I didn't eat it. Fucking ate it. So the day before I leave, I start just amassing this huge tangle of stuff that has to go with me in a pile by the door. So I'm not packing and trying to remember everything.

I just walk by it and I go, I gotta bring this and then I just chuck it toward the pile. So the next day when I pack, I've seen all the things around my apartment I know have to go in my suitcase. So just started amassing a big tangle. It's sometimes less stressful than just all at once, giving yourself 15 minutes to remember everything.

Also, I would be lost without huge Ziploc bags. So I love these two gallon zippy clothes ones. This is not an ad for Ziploc. Depending on how long I'm gone, I'll have one bag for shirts and underpants and one for socks and pants. So then I roll everything up and I stack them in each bag, kind of like a bunch of hot dog buns.

And then I press the whole bag flat and squeeze out the air as I zip it closed. It makes it super compact and vacuum packed. You can fit so much more stuff in your luggage and nothing comes tumbling out. And then you can see what's in each bag. Sometimes also when you close the bag and you're putting your whole weight on it,

it's cathartic and it makes a whistling or a farting noise. And that's fun. Also, if you put tops in one bag and bodice them in the other, you always know where to find everything. And I also usually take one empty Ziploc with me too. And I put dirty socks and undies in that one. So they're separated out.

And then you don't have to worry about your dirty socks and undies like just falling anywhere. So remember, two gallon with a Ziploc. You just put your stuff in it, roll it up, squeeze it flat. Also, I just heard from a futureologist. I recorded an episode on Toads. Her name is Priya, you will love her. She was telling me that if you have a business suit,

keep it in the dry cleaning bag and then roll the bag and that shit will not wrinkle. So there you go. Also, pack flipper floppers. It's always nice to have a pair of flip flops in your luggage because you may be at a hotel that has like a sauna and you're like, ah, wouldn't that be great to go in there? Or maybe you end up at a disgusting hotel

and you don't want your feet to touch the shower. But flip flops don't take up a lot of room and it's nice to have just in case there's something more splishy splashy than you anticipated. Of course, wet, man. Also, in terms of toiletries, I'm gonna tell you a secret right now. No one at the TSA really makes you take your toiletries out

and put them in a clear Ziploc bag. They say they do that, it never happens. And pro tip, get duplicates of all your toiletries and just always keep them packed and refilled so that the morning you have to catch a flight or go on a trip, all your toiletries are in there. You're not packing and putting them into smaller containers. You just have like a bug out bag,

like an apocalypse bag full of contact lens solution and an extra context case and a tiny toothpaste. All of that, always stocked. You never know. You might have to go on a last minute business trip or maybe you'll get extradited or someone could invite you on a sexy weekend getaway. And you're like, hold on,

let me fill my conditioner bottle first. And then that really disrupts the mood. So just keep it packed. Also, those little tiny single serving glass jam jars from fancy restaurants are awesome. So eat the jam with your fingers and then rinse it out and you can put all kinds of goopy stuff in it. Okay, so when you're parking, let's say you go to the airport,

take a photo of the parking garage so that when you're off the plane after you land after your trip and you're tired and you're jet lagged and you can't remember what date is, you at least know where you parked. I've wandered so many parking garages and airports, just no idea where my car is once I cried. Okay, if you're flying, no liquids over three ounces,

this includes liquidy stuff like peanut butter or a clay mask. And back in the days when I used to eat desserts for a living, I had several pints of vegan cookie dough and my purse, cause I had to eat it and take notes on it. And I had to debate which phase state it was until the TSA agreed that it had more solid than liquid properties. And I was like, come on,

look at how it doesn't conform to the container if you were to take a scoop out unless it's very warm. I got through TSA and then I ate it on a plane. Also, did you know that you can take ice with you? If you have a thermos and it's filled with ice, the TSA is fine with it, filled with water, no deal. So you can take ice with you. I don't know why they let you do that.

Also, you might have to present your ID wherever you're going. Let's say that you're catching a flight. I know it's so easy to present your ID and then shove it in a pocket and you're like, I'll put this back in my wallet later. Never do that. Your ID will be like, ooh, this is the thing

I've been waiting for to make a break and disappear forever. So always put it back in your wallet before you put yourself on the X-ray belt. Otherwise you're never gonna see it again. If you're flying and you have to put yourself on the X-ray belt, always put your shoes first. That way they come out first so that you have a chance to put them back on

while they're looking through your suitcase for weird stuff. Otherwise, you're holding your backpack, you're grabbing your luggage, waiting for your shoes to come out. You're like, come on. Like waiting for a pop tart to come out of the toaster. And you have to carry them and hobble to a bench.

So shoes go on first. Also, if you don't wanna do the full body X-ray, you can always ask for the metal detector and a pad down. And sometimes if you're lonely, that feels comforting to have someone touch the insides of your thighs. Also, if you have a boarding pass, I like to pick a pocket on me.

The boarding pass will live in, I just say to the boarding pass, guess what? Upper left jean jacket pocket. That's where I put you. Cause sometimes it can be easy to shove it in a different pocket each time. Cause you're like, what gate is it? Which can be stressful.

If you're looking for it in a pinch, I've done it so many times. So just put it in one pocket and say, guess what? You live here now. Oh sweet oh. Now, if you're in an airport, bring a thermos or an insulated water bottle.

Cause nowadays, near the bathrooms or the water fountains and airports, you can just fill them up with these really great clean filtered water dispenser spigots. And they're right near the gross, slurpy slurp fountains, the kind of hardest spot if you don't know what to look for.

And I'll sometimes see frustrated people trying to fill up a thermos on the slurpy slurp fountain, not realizing that the clean bottle spigot is like a foot above it. Also Starbucks has filtered water because they don't make their coffee with unfiltered water. So sometimes if you hand them your thermos without the lid,

they'll just fill it up with water for you. So this is going to save plastic. You'll have nice cold water with you and then you can save money and spend it on stupid stuff like a magazine that you wouldn't otherwise buy. Now, if you're about to get on a flight and there might be upgrades, I've heard that if you look and smell nice,

they're more likely to upgrade you, but I've never experienced this firsthand. There's probably a reason for that. Always bring earplugs with you when you travel. It's a great way to tune out chatty people in a cafe or business travelers who've had too many margaritas in the terminal and they can't stop talking on a flight or the engines, which are so loud.

And sometimes you might get in a hotel that has like a fighting couple next door and you're like, I'm so glad I have earplugs. I also take vitamin C powder with me on trips. I drink it in the morning because the extra B vitamins can help perk you up if you slept weird or not enough or you're jet lagged. Also travel is dehydrating.

So at the very least, it just reminds you to drink water in the morning. And if you're in an airport, let families go in front of you. They're so stressed out trying to travel with children looks so hard. And if babies cry on an airplane, don't get mad at them, they're babies.

Also, planes can get freezing. I don't know why, but it helps to have a scarf on in case you're cold or you can use it as a pillow or you can breathe through it in case anyone smells bad. Once I spilled a full cup of sparkling water on my crotch and it was nice to have a scarf as kind of an emergency towel to mop things up.

So always travel with a scarf even if it's a lightweight summer scarf. Also, if you have a scarf, you can tie it to the headrest behind you and you can just use it as a face hammock. And let's talk about the elephant in the room. Flying is a huge, enormous, terrible carbon suck. It accounts for approximately 5% of global emissions.

So travel, tourism, significant contributor to climate change, which is something that none of us like to talk about. I read that a round trip flight from New York to London produces 2.5 tons of carbon emissions. So how can you reduce this if you have business trip or if you have a vacation coming up? Airlines with newer planes

can have reduced carbon emissions. Also, sitting in coach and traveling lighter can help. So if you're like, yeah, I'm sitting in first class, I only fly first class. Congratulations, you're using up more carbon. You can also look into different airlines that have lower carbon emissions. For some reason, Alaska has the lowest carbon emissions

of domestic airline carriers, partly because they cram people in tighter, which, you know, economical. Direct flights produce less carbon than ones with more layovers. So if you wanna spend a little extra money and a little bit less time, just think that's a little better for the planet.

Also, if you wanna offset the carbon emissions from your travel, you can go to websites like carbonfund.org. They'll be getting a donation from this episode. And you can look for different carbon offset programs, but make sure that it's a legit one. It's a donation, but it might help your conscience a little bit.

And of course, that donation wouldn't be possible without sponsors of the show. So here, I'm gonna tell you about a couple. Is that cool? Okay, cool. Okay, back to a couple more travel tips. Okay, some budgetary friendly pointers. So most of the traveling I do, I have to do for work.

But if I ever take any kind of like vacationy thing or I have to go see family, I do sometimes use points and there are some airlines that are very annoying to use points with. One of them that is not annoying, I do use American. Sometimes they are really great at doing like last minute trips.

This is 0% sponsored. I also use sites like Kayak or Cheap Tickets. Price line is good if you can be a little bit flexible with your dates. If you are a freelancer and you can afford to take time off during the week, a lot of things will be cheaper. Also check on off season prices.

Way cheaper, midweek off season. Way good bargains. I also use things like hotel tonight is good if you decide to just like take like a last minute trip out of town and wanna see what's cheap. That can be great. Camping, very cheap.

Sleeping in the backyard in a sleeping bag. Very inexpensive. So those are all some tricks to shave a little cash off the bottom line. Now, if you're staying in a hotel, this is just a personal pet peeve and you're only gonna be there for a few days, maybe bring your own soap

or at least just use one of the bars of soap. You can transfer it from the sink to the shower when you need it. You don't need to open every single soap package and then use them for a day. The earth is dying. Also leave a tip for the hotel staff in your room. A dollar or two a day can really make a difference

in how much money they take home and can really buoy their spirits. So I always try to leave a couple of bucks behind. Once I hit a few dollars in the bed with a note that said thanks because I thought it would be fun to like find it there, clean the room. And when I went to go leave it,

I found my glasses in the covers. I would have left them if I hadn't left a tip. It is fate. Another great thing to bring with you is wooden chopsticks and a spoon. I always have them in my bag because a lot of times you'll go to eat something and they'll give you a plastic fork

and you're like, why am I using this fork once and throwing it into the garbage? But if you have some wooden chopsticks and a spoon, you'll always have utensils with you and you'll feel better about not using single use plastic. If you wanna get some audio books, Libby is a great app where you can check out audiobooks from the library

and also maybe read up on some local customs. Try to figure out the cultural etiquette of the place you're visiting before you go there. So that is my travel tips for you recorded in a rental car in Minneapolis on my way to Wisconsin. And another thing, you don't have to travel far in order to give your brain a break.

You can always just go camping not too far away or take a train to a few cities over and see a museum. Some guys just saw me recording this. For a second I was like, why is this guy looking at me? And then I realized, oh, I'm talking into a microphone in a rental car. Anyway, I hope some of these travel tips help. I'm sorry, I'm losing my voice.

I've got a couple more interviews. And of course, as always, thank you, Hannah Lippo and Erin Talbert for adminning the Allergy's Facebook group. Thank you to Bonnie Dutch for helping manage all of the merch at olergysmerch.com. Happy birthday to Shannon Feltis, one of the merch queens. Thank you so much for all of the work you do to make Allergy's merch available.

Happy, happy birthday. Thank you to Interned Scala Patton and Harry Kim and to Jared Sleeper and editor Stephen Ray Morris. Always have a Stephen Ray Morris handy to pop into your carry-on theme song, of course, by Nick Thorburn of the band Islands. Next week we'll be back with a brand new episode. And in terms of a secret,

I was recording an interview with a cabinologist and I was so excited to talk to him. He's been on my list for years. And I got there a few minutes late and then I had problems with a memory card I was using. Anyway, it ended up going fine, but I left and I walked down the stairs to the street level and I looked down and my fly was just as open as it could be.

I'm just killing it this morning. Anyway, back next week with a brand new episode. Bye bye. Hackadermatology. Homiology, cryptozoology, litology, nanotechnology, meteorology, nephrology, nephrology, seriology, selenology.