Ologies with Alie Ward - Oology (EGGS) Encore + Bonus Material with John Bates
Episode Date: March 30, 2021This encore includes tons of previously cut and never-before-heard bonus material (and maybe an eggregious number of sidenotes) about how perfect and weird eggs are. The biggest eggs! The smallest egg...s! The people arrested for stealing the most eggs! Oologist Dr. John Bates gives Alie a tour of the egg vault at the Field Museum of Chicago and it was a barrage of beautiful sights and shocking facts about bird butts. Get ready for speckly eggs, falcon tales, delicate treasures, snake nesting, pigeon mysteries, modern research with old artifacts, Easter trivia, and whether or not you can hatch chickens from grocery store eggs. Also the carnival ride Alie will never ever ever go on. Field Museum of Chicago The Book of Eggs To become a patron: www.Patreon.com/ologies OlogiesMerch.com has hats, pins, totes, shirts, etc. Follow Ologies on Instagram or Twitter Follow Alie Ward on Instagram or Twitter.com More links at www.alieward.com/ologies/Oology2 Sound editing by Steven Ray Morris & Jarrett Sleeper Music by Nick ThorburnSupport the show: http://Patreon.com/ologies
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hey, what's up?
So it's 2021 and it's a lady from your mom's book club, one who apologizes even when she
brings cookies.
And up top, I want to tell you that this is an encore of an episode that went up in 2018
and it has a ton of never before heard bonus content and asides that I cut out from the
previous release.
So you have not heard a lot of this and I'm giving it another spin because many of you
have never heard oology and tis the season to scoop up a lot of discount Easter candy
at the drugstore and I'm working on a big episode for next week that's going to blow
your minds and so I wanted to just take a little bit of a breather but here is eggs
alongside a seriously egregious, egregious, I'm so sorry that wasn't even intentional
amount of asides.
You may listen to these asides and say, boy, howdy, that's a lot of asides but I'm happy
to have this info on pagan holidays and ostrich nests.
Okay, let's dive in.
Oh, hey, hey, it's that, hi, hi, it's the lady from your mom's book club, hi, the one
who apologizes even when she brings cookies, yeah, hi, it's Allie Ward.
Back with another episode, apologies, oh man, I never knew I needed this episode.
Like we've had an episode about ornithology birds but now we're going to get to the heart,
the heart of the matter and by heart I mean butt and by butt I mean cloaca.
So what is a cloaca?
Well, as I've said before, it's kind of like the home button on an iPhone.
Like if Steve Jobs had designed an orifice, just a multi-purpose little boop, it's good
for sensual adult times for egg laying and poo.
So today we're going to be cracking wise about eggs.
Oh, so many eggs, so many glorious eggs.
What a wonder.
Okay, but first, this podcast really quick would not exist without patrons on patreon.com
slash allergies.
You can support for a dollar an episode, a dollar a month.
Patrons get to hear what episodes are coming up next and submit questions for theologists
and I say your name is right as my mouth possibly can.
Also, allergiesmerch.com has backpacks, caps, bikinis, shirts, there's totes, gifts, pins,
all science themed.
But if money's tight because the world is falling apart and it's on fire, that's okay.
Rating and subscribing and reviewing keeps allergies up in the charts where other people
can see it and say, what is this podcast that talks about slug dicks and why does this lady
call herself my dad?
I read all of your reviews.
I'm upfront about it, all right?
I'm kind of like a concerned parent reading the diary that you left open on the counter.
And so to prove it, just like I do every week, I shout out one reviewer and this week I would
like to thank Beyonce 23706.
Maybe that's Beyonce, perhaps it's a different Beyonce who says, this podcast makes me want
to make the world a better place.
I love hearing all of these people who I would normally think of as existing on another plane
and finding out that they're just people and I could be one of them too.
I read that earlier today and literally started crying.
So thank you, Beyonce, for that.
Okay, let's get that shell back to this excellent episode, shall we?
By the way, that is why I call myself your dad.
Okay, so why is it called oology?
Why are there so many God dang O's in this word?
Okay, it comes from one guess, yes, the Greek, for aion, meaning egg, and it's a branch of
ornithology that deals with eggs.
I want to think that the OO in oology is just because the O's look like little eggies, but
that's not true.
Okay, so this interview, what a treat.
Okay, I was in Chicago for a few days and I reached out to the Wonderland, that is the
Field Museum, via the brain scoops Emily Grasley, hey girl, and they hooked me up.
So not only did they give me a quiet room to record the epidemiology episode with the
errands of this podcast will kill you, but they were also like, yo, we got an egg dude
for you.
So Kate Golubeski, I owe you like 10 puppies, Kate met me at the field and she walked me
through the ornithology lab.
Whoa, hi, so many jars.
Up some steps.
You know what I didn't realize also is that this museum is so big that our commute from
one office to the other, that's a good 10 minute commute.
I should have left a trailer breadcrumbs.
To the office of an expert in bird babies.
This kind faced, bespectacled gentleman with thick salt and pepper hair and a desk piled
with egg books and field notes, but it was a Friday afternoon at 4pm and I just hated
to keep him from his weekend.
So some of the questions and answers are super rapid fire, but then we had such a jolly time
hanging out that afterwards he offered to give me a tour of the egg bunker and hell
yes I took him up on that.
So throughout the interview, there are audio notes from that tour as we continued to just
gab in the stacks.
So this episode is just a feast of facts about speckley eggs and outlaw burders and falcon
mysteries and vaults of delicate treasures and can you eat cookie dough and modern research
done with old artifacts and there's some Easter bullshit and chicken hatching, even
snake trivia.
It's got it all.
So buckle up.
All right.
Let's settle our feathers and ready ourselves for the ornithological treasures of oologist
Dr. John Bates.
Hi, I'm Allie Ward.
Nice to meet you.
Hi, nice to meet you.
Thank you for talking about eggs with me.
Are you technically an oologist?
No, I am not.
What?
I'm not an oologist?
He literally edited the book of eggs.
It's called the book of eggs and his name is on the cover.
Not an oologist.
He studies bird eggs.
Okay.
I gotta breathe.
More on this situation in a minute.
But he is definitely an evolutionary biologist slash ornithologist and officially an associate
curator of birds and head of the life sciences division at the field museum in Chicago.
What do you study about birds?
Do you study particular like eggs of different species, feathers, beaks, like what's your
bag?
Well, I'm a curator and so we have one of the world's greatest collections of birds
here in the museum and so one of the things I've been interested in over the years is
all aspects of avian biology but the egg part actually came about because we have an egg
collection and I feel like it's my responsibility to know something about eggs.
So after the interview at his desk, John took me down this labyrinth into the bowels
of the museum just stuffed with millions of scientific artifacts, like for real, actually
millions of artifacts.
What you see on displays at museums is this laughably small representation of their actual
shit.
They have in files and drawers and boxes behind the scenes.
So behind these scenes, we came upon a room labeled egg collection to which John had the
keys.
Wow.
So this is our egg collection.
Ah, what?
This looks like a bank bonker.
They really look like you're making a bank bonker.
They do, yeah.
Oh my God.
So how many specimens in this room?
So probably about 100,000 eggs.
Wow.
But now why do you say you're not an oeologist even though you study bird eggs?
Yeah, that's because basically I don't know if you could find anybody who would describe
themselves as an oeologist anymore.
It's a field, it's an extinctology at some level, which is too bad.
That's actually one of the things that we're interested in, some colleagues and I are interested
in, we're actually working on a paper right now trying to encourage people to remember
and that is that there's these incredible collections of eggs around the world and a
lot of times they're pretty underutilized.
People tend to forget they're there.
So oeology was really popular in the 1880s into the 1920s or so and then it died out
and some of that was because people were a little bit concerned that there might be
issues with respect to collecting eggs in terms of the population biology, affecting
the population biology of birds and things and so it was kind of fell out of favor with
a lot of people.
So oeology can mean the study of eggs but it can also refer to the hobby of collecting
wild bird eggs also called eggin.
Now at some point these amateur egg scholars stopped egging because it became illegal.
People were like well you are stealing babies.
Now Wikipedia says and I quote, despite this some of those who engage in egg collecting
show considerable recidivism.
That is legal speak for doing bad shit again like chasing the dragon egg.
Wikipedia continues, one Colin Watson was convicted six times before he fell to his
death in 2006 while attempting to climb to a nest high up in a tree.
Another individual has been convicted nine times and imprisoned twice and a third has
been convicted 51 times, imprisoned four times and barred from entering Scotland during
the breeding season.
People are addicted to egg collecting.
Also one historical amateur ornithologist Charles Bendire who's stash of 8,000 formed
the base of the Smithsonian's egg collection climbed a tree for some hobbyist egg thievery
and was rightfully if you ask me shot at and scared away but escaped climbing down the
tree with a raptor egg in his mouth and the egg was so big that he had to and was willing
to rather have his teeth broken to get it out of his mouth like a cloaca face.
So these were the oeologists of yore.
That's why the term fell out of favor.
But then the other thing that happened was you had the advent of things like cameras
and suddenly you know people you can make an argument that you didn't need the specimen
per se if you could take a picture of the eggs.
So do you think that if you're not out actively collecting and studying eggs and you're not
an oeologist?
Well I think so I like to describe it actually as in an interesting way I think from the
perspective of humans which is that in some level it's like pediatrics right?
So here's this field where people study children and this is a field where people studied eggs
but it's a specialization within pediatrics right?
They spent a specific thing and I think that in part it was just because collecting eggs
kind of literally fell out of favor and so the terminology actually fell by the wayside
at some point.
I think it's time to resurrect it.
That's actually I mean there's a lot of science that can be done with eggs.
Yeah so tell me about the collection you have and what do you like about eggs?
Because I feel like you have to be into them in order to study them.
I think aptitude is backed by passion I'm guessing.
So what is it about birds and bird eggs that you really that you love or that you're drawn
to?
So what I'd say I think it's interesting to say I mean eggs themselves are just beautiful
things in nature for one thing.
But when you look at these collections you start realizing that they're incredibly valuable
pieces of our understanding of early natural history.
So one of the things I always like to say to people is that you know you go back to
our collections of bird specimens from the 1880s a lot of times and I have very little
information on them.
But with the egg collections it's very common for them to have these detailed nest cards
which describe exactly when the person found the nest, how many eggs were in it, what kind
of tree it was in, very detailed locality information.
And so these guys were actually collecting really excellent natural history data probably
10 to 20 to 30 years earlier than a lot of the specimen collectors were.
So it's an incredible data and as a matter of fact one of the things we're trying to
do right now is work on various projects where we can use these data to look at what's going
on today.
So it's kind of like, thank you for the nest plundering back then.
You monocled derelicts, but yeah no we don't do that now, that's not a past time.
Let's just play video games or scroll through pictures of other people's vacations on a
tiny screen.
But the dates in all of those amateur egg collections are very helpful.
So for instance we can look at nest laying dates for birds in the Midwest and ask the
question, if we have data from modern birds on when they were laying and this is based
on field observations from some of my colleagues, we can look at individual species and ask
the question, are bird populations in the Chicago region laying their eggs at different
times than they were historically and it looks like the dates of laying have advanced actually
which is consistent with some of the potential issues that you'd expect due to climate change.
So climate change is a biggie as are the effects of pesticides and pollutants.
So one huge detective story is often cited when the topic of vintage eggs comes up.
You know when I show this to people and I talk about why we have these collections,
one of my favorite examples is, you know, paragon falcon eggs.
So these were collected in the 1890s in North Dakota.
And paragon falcons in the 1960s along with ospreys and bald eagles had their populations
plummeted and paragon falcons actually went extinct in eastern North America and what
was going on is they weren't having any reproductive success and it was because every time females
laid eggs they would start sitting on them to incubate them, they would crack.
And scientists thought that this pesticide DDT was causing egg shell thinning and one
of the big pieces of evidence that led them to ban DDT in the U.S. was a study by these
guys named Hickey and Anderson where they went in and they measured pre-DDTera egg shell
thickness in these birds with post egg shell, post 1960 during the DDT era use and they
were able to show that they were demonstrably thinner in a bunch of the key areas and so
it was a great scientific design that was possible because they had access to these collections.
And what I always like to point out is that this guy that collected these things, this
guy Forsythe in 1917 had no idea that 40, 50 years later his eggs would be used for
a study like that.
So it's so cool to see current research being done on specimens that have been collected
a hundred years ago.
Exactly.
So just think, some of the science that you do today might help future generations to
study like which plants existed before the robots that we download our consciousness
into took over the earth and mined all the gold to make toilets and then darkened the
sky with clean coal emissions.
Is that too dark?
Sorry.
When they would collect the eggs, would they blow the eggs out or would they just rot?
What was happening?
Yeah.
Okay, they'd hollow them out?
Yeah, right.
So I guess they would drill a little hole in them and it was a real art.
I mean they were really good at it and they would carefully inject a little bit of air
and once you do that you can blow the contents out of a very small hole and you're left with
the egg shell.
Can you explain to me how an egg is formed?
Because it is kind of odd to be like, hi, I'm a bird, I'm a soft, I'm fluffy and then
boink, there's this hard thing that comes out of your cloaca.
What is it?
Yeah, basically the female has this developing ovum in her ova duct and it goes down and
there's glands that produce the shell material and it gradually rotates and forms and you
get the production of this perfectly layered, hard and yet thin thing covering that developing
embryo in an incredible way.
And then there are all kinds of interesting things that happen after that with respect
to making the eggs colorful or spotted or things like that.
Yeah, so is it like layers on a jawbreaker, layer after layer of this calcium or is it
like one layer of shell that happens at once?
Yeah, no, it's my understanding of it is it's a layer thing and actually as they're
going down the ova duct the shell gland is actually putting it laying on that material
so that when it comes out it's a perfectly formed egg.
And then where is the airbrushing station in the ova duct?
Where are they putting on the speckles and the robin egg blue colors?
It's done as it's passing along through the cloaca and in the ova duct and there are
these melanin producing glands that are cells that will actually make the color but that's
something that actually some of the aspects of that are still debated by scientists.
We don't know how some colors on certain types of eggs are made.
And I understand like, okay, so we're surrounded by these like beautiful posters of eggs and
I understand eggs that look like granite, boom.
Is it an egg or a rock?
I don't know.
I can't tell.
I'm not going to eat it.
I get it.
But like a bright blue robin's egg in a green tree, what's happening there that seems so
conspicuous?
Yeah, so quick answer.
We don't know.
Okay.
Right?
But there are these eggs.
If I showed you eggs of tin amuse which are these neotropical birds that bunch of species
they look like little chickens that run around in either forest or an open country and they
lay these incredibly enameled eggs that can be anywhere from blue to brown to green and
they're just incredibly enameled and we don't know why they do that.
And one hypothesis which is kind of crazy would be just they wanted to look so weird
that no predator would look at that and go, yeah, that's something we should eat.
And they wanted to look like a weird toy or a piece of ceramic or something like that.
Yeah, because I mean they literally don't look like anything you would find in nature.
So down in the OO vault, John showed me another egg that looked like a prop.
Like no way did a bird butt make this.
Oh my God, are you kidding me?
These are these common mure nests, eggs of this cliff nester.
And you can see these are from Ireland and they would have been laid by different females
such that the female could actually individually recognize each egg.
And you can see these things like all these little squiggles come from the egg twisting
as it's coming down the the overduck then.
It looks like you just took a sharpie or a marker to them.
It looks like you let your like four year old nephew color them in, you know what do
you mean?
Or Jackson Pollock.
Oh my God, they're gorgeous though.
You can see this one sat for a while.
Oh, inside of the overduck?
Yeah.
Wow.
And so it gets.
It gets more of that speculated.
Right, exactly.
Wow, from those cells, that's so, I never knew that's how it happened.
I mean, that's so crazy to think of it twisting and turning and making those marks.
So just squiggling down the bird butt canal, getting a streaky paint job on the way.
It's so delicately, magically gross and beautiful.
And what about egg shape?
Why, why are they the shape that they are?
So that's an interesting question that's been studied and published on fairly recently.
And one of the hypotheses is that it's related to body shape at some point.
Eggs a lot.
I mean, eggs have a fairly defined shape for the most part, but they're really interesting
aspects of certain eggs.
So for instance, eggs of some of the birds that breed on cliffs like common mirrors and
things are these long pointed, have a thick base and then a long pointed tip.
And one of the hypotheses has been that that's, they've evolved that way because they're
on a cliff face.
And if you roll that egg on a cliff face, it'll just roll in a tight little circle because
of its shape.
Now, some other people have come along and said, no, that's not what's going on.
But that's a plausible explanation for that egg shape.
And do you eat eggs?
I do eat eggs.
Okay.
So you're not like, you don't have a situation where you're like, oh, I can't do it.
Right.
No.
Is it bad for us to eat chicken eggs?
So I always like to say that my pediatrician used to flip back and forth every year I went
to him.
Oh, really?
Which I told my mom crazy.
Like he would come in and say, eggs are good for your son.
Good.
Nope.
Next year, eggs are bad for you.
So side note, I was like, yeah, what's up with eggs having this like big reputation?
So in 1968, the American Heart Association advised people not to have more than three
egg yolks per week.
It's like eggs are canceled, unfollow eggs on Twitter, do not invite them to breakfast.
And then years later, some news came out that was like, eggs are fine.
And then in the last few years, this new cholesterol kills campaign came out and that's done by
an organization called the truth about eggs.
But that turns out to be a vegan advocacy group.
So I turned to official science papers for some sanity.
And there was one about how eggs have gotten such a bad rap and seriously, they are fine.
And I was like, okay, cool, science paper, I trust you.
And then I scroll down to the author bio of this science paper and he worked for the egg
industry.
Good God, eggs.
How is your PR more complicated than the JFK assassination?
This is like of the mobs specialized in brunch scrambles.
I cannot keep track.
So I guess if you're at risk for heart disease, consult your physician and read some papers
and pay attention to who's writing the papers.
I may be your weird uncle, but I am no doctor.
Well, John is technically a doctor, but I'm not an MD.
Not that you'll be making a bunch of omelets now.
I'm sorry.
But if you were, you'd have to break some eggs.
But what if it's a museum egg and you're an oologist?
Have you ever broken an egg and been like, oh, shit.
Well, so the quick answer is no.
Back in the cool egg dungeon, John withdraws a drawer slowly and he tells me a tale of
a thousand cringes.
One of the greatest curators of birds at the field museum, a guy named Mel Trailer, apparently
pulled this drawer out at one point too far and dropped it.
And so even the greatest people can make mistakes.
Now, the truth of the matter is it looks bad, but you're not really losing it.
You're not losing the data, but still.
I don't even imagine what would it was like today that that happened.
What kind of words do you think came out of his mouth?
He was an incredible gentleman, so I bet he swore quite a bit.
Oh my God, that is devastating.
And so what has been the rarest or most beautiful specimen that you've seen?
So I think some of the coolest eggs in the world belong to a bird called the Gira Kuku
from South America, and they're these incredible eggs that they lay in big numbers.
They're cooperative breeders, and I'm not exactly sure.
Some of their relatives actually have multiple females on the same territory, and they'll
actually throw eggs out on average, but they'll end up with a mixed nest of multiple eggs
of different females.
And these guys have, so they'll have up to 10 or 12 eggs in the nest, and they start
off with this white powder around them, but it's a blue egg.
And so over time, the blue wears off, and it wears off in this kind of patchwork fashion
that just gives it a really beautiful color to them.
So they have almost like an opposite patina almost.
Yeah, exactly.
Oh wow.
So later on the tour, I got a chance to see these bad boys, and they're this lovely minty
aqua color, like a tourmaline blue with white patterns overlaid, and it was like a gaspathon.
They're gorgeous.
I mean, they look like ceramics.
We just don't ever have an opportunity to see a lot of these, you know, ever, because
when are you going to come across a cliff nest or, you know, something that's 30 feet
off the ground hidden behind leaves?
So that gyrikuku with the gorgeous eggs is sneaky, and she leaves them in nests that are
not hers.
A bunch of cuckoo birds do this.
And then their babies hatch, and then they bump out the other babies, and the parents
just don't even seem to notice that all of their babies are gone, and they now have one
giant baby that does not look like them.
Such gossip.
And then this bamboozlery happens with other species, of course.
These are annies, which are these black birds from the tropics, which are cuckoo relatives.
And these are these ones that have these nests that multiple females in the group lay in.
Like daycare?
Yeah.
With the caveat being that apparently there's an older female that'll come along and throw
most of the eggs out over time, and then lay most of hers in there, but not on sick.
What a bitch.
Are there any eggs that you know of that are like so valuable monetarily wise?
Like are there any that are like under glass?
Well, if I told you not.
Yeah, that's true.
You wouldn't have to kill me.
So actually, we have a plaster cast downstairs of an elephant bird from Madagascar, which
is a bird that was one of these giant flightless things that was living in Madagascar up until
the time the first humans got there.
And the beaches in Madagascar, some places are littered with small pieces of elephant
bird eggshell.
And there are a few elephant bird eggs that have been found whole.
And a lot of those are in museums, and my understanding is those are worth sometimes
upwards of $30,000 to $50,000.
Okay.
So that price checks out.
Now the elephant bird went extinct somewhere between the 1300s and the 1800s.
Nobody knows, but it was probably because of humans.
I think we all pretty much know that.
Now, bigger than a basketball, these huge foot long eggs have sold at auction for more
than $100,000, which is pretty expensive.
It's a lot of cash to shell out.
Okay.
I'm going to stop cracking these yolks.
Please don't reject me.
Okay.
So these elephant bird eggs.
There's a list on Wikipedia of the different museums that have them in collections, and
there are less than 40 intact specimens at institutions around the world.
But recently added to the list just a few months ago, the Buffalo Museum of Science.
For years, they thought that this precious behemoth was just like a plaster model.
And then they were like, you know what, let's get an x-rayed.
Turns out it's the real deal.
And they were like, oh, shit, oh my God, we're rich if we decide to sell it.
But mostly we're going to hang on to it because it's cool for science and stuff.
I think that's what they said.
That's a lot of money for an egg.
I think how many omelettes those things would have made.
So many omelettes, which is probably why they're extinct.
Exactly right.
What's the biggest egg you have ever cracked?
I once tried to eat an emu egg and it required a hacksaw.
Was it any good?
It was very rich.
It was huge.
It was overwhelming.
But we whipped it up and made an omelette and it was the most buttery, kind of fatty
tasting one.
But it was huge.
It looked like a giant avocado.
Yeah.
So I have to admit that most of my time has been spent with chicken eggs in terms of actually
cooking and eating.
So I'm trying to think if I've ever actually, I think I've ever actually eaten another bird's
egg.
Species?
Yeah.
Really?
No.
I once had deviled quail's eggs, which was weird.
I just felt like a giant because they're so little.
But how do you take your eggs?
Over easy.
So does that mean runny yolk?
Yeah.
Why does that gross me out?
But it doesn't gross other people out.
Should I be grossed out?
It's supposed to soak up what's left in the plate.
If you've got potatoes in the plate, it makes the potatoes taste better.
I don't know why.
I don't know why.
There's something that grosses me out about it.
Okay.
There's something that grosses people out, the kalesa.
Now these two coily white threads that are attached to the yolk, what are they?
What are they?
Okay, there's just nothing much.
Just ropes of protein.
They're actually markers of a fresh egg since they kind of disappear as it ages.
But why are they there?
Like tiny, slimy party streamers?
Well they suspend the yolk in the middle of the egg, kind of like the slingshot ride at
the county fair.
But depending on how you personally feel about egg protein squiggles and carnival rides,
one may have more screaming than the other.
Also side note, oh my god, I just went down a hole watching a compilation of like GoPro
footage of couples on the slingshot ride and it was horrifying and so, so amusing.
And I only know from the gelatology episode that it's funny because we know that like
everyone is safe in the end.
But oh my god, watching adults screaming for their moms on carnival rides is something
else.
Wow.
Oh my god.
Also, never ever going on that.
Ever.
Back to egg boogers.
I need to get over it because other people seem to love it but for some reason the yolk,
the yolk is what the chick eats inside the egg, correct?
Or is the yolk the chick?
The yolk is what it's going to eat.
Okay.
Yeah.
So that would be the baby chick's food.
So I should be okay with eating that, right?
Right.
Yeah, except that of course that's the stuff that my pediatrician was always worried about
every other year.
The cholesterol and stuff.
When you're cracking hard-boiled eggs, do you have a better strategy because you understand
the mechanics and the anatomy of eggs?
No, that's one of the things that you just go for literally.
Like, I think, and it's a satisfying thing because it's, in the end, you have something
like solid in your hand that you can eat.
Okay.
So if you're like, I'm a grown-ass person and I can't boil eggs, right?
Well, number one, why are you reciting passages from my diary?
And two, I just looked up some tips and apparently here are some pointers according to French
chef Jacques Pépin.
Okay.
Take a thumbtack.
If you got one, puncture the egg in the round butt end, right?
And then gently boil them, not too high for 10 minutes, drain.
You kind of very gingerly crack the shells but keep them on and then submerge in an
ice bath for 15 minutes.
If you still think that you screwed up because the shells stick to the egg, well, whew, boy-howdy.
Hot tip from old dad here.
The older eggs peel better, fresh eggs, terrible at peeling.
This has nothing to do with your performance as an egg boiler.
This is all about the shell being porous and the egg white, also called the albumen, getting
less acidic.
Also egg white will shrink with time, making the whole thing easier to peel.
That also means that the little air pocket at the butt of an egg gets larger as it ages.
So fresh eggs will sink, older ones will float.
So boiling an egg, once left only to wizards, you now hold the power in your hands.
I think actually cracking raw eggs is more of an artistic technique that I've never
fully developed.
I know.
The people that can do one in each hand.
Yeah, those people, it's like, how do you learn that?
Masters.
They should be oologists, to be honest.
They need to take up the term as well.
Now how many eggs do you guys have at the Field Museum in collections?
So the actual number is probably on the order of about 100,000.
Oh my God.
So the interesting thing about eggs in collections like this is not the number of eggs individually,
it's the number of sets of eggs.
We have about 20,000 sets of eggs, which means that the eggs are laying by a given female
at a given time, and there's what's called clutch size, which is how many eggs they've
laid for that nest.
And that's actually a truly interesting thing about avian biology because there's lots
of variations.
So we were talking about those elephant birds.
Clutch size in elephant birds was two, which is, like you said, that's probably why there's
no elephant birds left.
If you think about it, ostriches are another big flightless bird, and they have clutch
sizes where a single, actually multiple females lay in the same nest, but they'll be upwards
of 20 eggs in a nest because each female lays 10 to 11.
And they're basically just hedging their bets with respect to producing their young, because
a lot of them are going to get picked off by predators over time.
Ooh, okay, quick aside, what does an ostrich nest look like?
I bet it's like an elaborately woven papa's on chair, just a swirl of delicate wicker holding
all these eggy treasures.
Now I looked it up and what, it's just a sloppy pile of eggs on the ground and a communal
pile at that.
There's no weaving, there's no mud structure, no bird spun basket.
It's just, it is the laziest shit you have ever seen.
Like if you and four of your housemates folded your athletic socks into balls and then tossed
them all in the middle of the room, only those large socks were your children and your roommate's
ass was incubating them, well you're out drinking margaritas from a bird bath.
Ostriches, all the other birds look up to you because you were literally nine feet tall.
Can you get it together?
Okay, so how do they lay them?
And now they also have super thick shells because they have to drop like 12 feet from
an ostrich's cloaca to the ground, right?
Not quite 12 feet, but you know what I mean.
No, I'll bet the ostrich actually lays them sitting down, yeah, for the most part, but
they are really thick and they're used by Bushmen of the Kalahari to store water in.
Oh my gosh, what a cool purse.
I mean, talking about a clutch, that would be quite an evening clutch.
That's what they call little evening handbags, you're like, ta-da, it's an egg.
I'd be willing to bet that's been done.
Just FYI, yes, it has been done.
So Etsy, Pinterest, eBay, all just brimming with ostrich egg purses, usually starting
around several thousand dollars, but I did find one woman in Hemet, California who has
a side hustle called eggbags.com.
She makes them for $350 roughly because she's just really drawn to the art of egg decor,
it seems.
If you wanted to get yourself something very ornately fancy, just to like toss in some
chapsticks, a granola bar, the keys to your rental Hyundai, egg purses are available.
You know what?
Be that person.
Why not?
We're only here for so long.
Is there any flim flam about eggs that you'd like to debunk?
Any myths about eggs that you're like, that is not how it is?
Myths about eggs.
Please don't lay them, despite Easter.
They don't.
That's absolutely true.
Do you love springtime because of the egg imagery, or are you like, come on, guys?
No, because it gets really weird because of the bunny aspect of it.
I think that confuses the biology.
I think Easter egg hunting is great.
I think Easter egg dying is great.
The whole bunny aspect of it really gets messed up.
Right.
I don't know how that happened.
Okay.
I'm going to tell you right now to your faces how it happened.
Well, it's debated, but some historians think Easter came from the Germanic mythological
goddess of springtime, Oester, who may have healed a wounded bird that she found in the
woods by changing it into a bunny.
Then the bunny was like, dude, thank you, and laid her an egg because the bunny was like,
I still have a bird bud, sis.
Modern holiday traditions for Easter have roots in the Jewish Passover holiday alongside
some sprinkles of pagan fun for this spring equinox, which then made me wonder, why is
Easter such a floater of a holiday?
I never know what it is.
In Western Christianity, it always falls on, you ready for this?
The Sunday between March 22nd and April 25th, typically the first Sunday after the first
full moon occurring on or after the spring equinox, whatever.
You have a Google calendar.
We can all use it.
Anyway, bunny's dropping eggs brings us to De Ananda, where rabbits are, I think, invasive,
and so they celebrate with Easter billabies, which is like a shrew-faced marsupial I want
to pet on the head.
But how do you feel about platypie and the mammals that lay a duck-billed-
Oh, see, that's cool because they're just trying to be birds.
Right.
Well, how did they even, how did that even come about?
That's a good question.
From an evolutionary standpoint, it would be potentially a retained characteristic from
their ancestry with reptiles.
And now, reptiles, were they the OG when it comes to egg laying?
Because birds, reptiles, similar evolutionary pathway, dinosaurs?
Birds are dinosaurs.
Yeah, birds are dinosaurs.
So we're looking at just, I think, birds are just better dinosaurs.
I think, it's funny because for so long, it's like dinosaurs are extinct, and they're like,
no, they're not.
There's a pigeon.
Done.
It's done.
Boom.
Also, where do pigeons have nests?
They nest on little ledges and stuff, but that's a really great observation because
as many pigeons as there are in the city of Chicago, I almost never see a nest.
And the other thing is, that group of birds, so the columbidae, the family that they belong
to, they lay clutches of two.
That's their total number.
And so you would think like, if you're laying two eggs on a ledge, any predator could come
down and eat those things, and they're not particularly tough birds.
So why are there so many pigeons?
I don't know.
I have a theory that maybe they just asexually bud, and a feather falls off, and then a whole
another pigeon sprouts around it.
And the only thing I would say that argues against that is I could show you pigeon eggs
in our collection.
Dang it.
So we know they do it.
Dang it.
There was once, I lived in an apartment building, and a pigeon got inside, and I did see a pigeon
build a nest inside on the carpet, and I told my landlords, I was like, you know, there's
a pigeon like inside, like on the carpet, and they're like, leave it alone.
And I was like, what about bird mites?
I feel like we need to worry about that.
Like can we scoot it?
So I did see one pigeon nest once, but it was like one foot away from my door inside
on a carpet, and it was just all kinds of wrong.
Did you see any pigeon mites?
No, but I think I moved before.
The last thing I needed was bird cooties.
In case you think I'm five and just slandering birds, bird cooties are an actual thing, I
promise.
So World War I soldiers, they took the melee word for lice, which was kutu, and they mashed
it with the species coot thought to be real dirty birds.
So bird mites are a real thing, and they can infect a house if you have, say, pigeons in
the attic, and they leave the nest, and then the mites go downstairs to peek in the fridge
for a snack.
And instead of the fridge, it's your body.
You are the snack.
Now I've known two separate couples who have had bird mite infestations.
One of them, longtime friend, and it truly was one of the worst things she's ever been
through.
And she was in a body cast during puberty, you guys.
Now the other couple said they would rather have been haunted by a dozen poltergeists
than contend with invisible biting things.
So if you see a pigeon in your house, you point to the door or a window because they
can fly.
Do you know what I mean?
That's a whole, you can do a whole notherology on parasitology.
Because birds have mites.
We actually go into the field now, and we do an active job of trying to collect them
because they're co-evolving with the birds, essentially.
And so there's some really interesting questions you can ask with mites.
Do you get a lot of gifts that have eggs on them?
Do people say, I saw this and I thought of you?
I do because we did a book of eggs, and so people kind of know that I've worked, yeah.
How many books about eggs do you own in reference?
So I benefit by being in a place that has a, where our bird library is right down the
hall.
And that means I don't have to buy as many books on eggs, I can actually just go down
and surreptitiously grab them off the shelf and check them out, and then the librarians
have to come track me down to get them back.
You're like, you're not too far though.
I mean, and who's going to make better use of a book about eggs than you?
Well, that's my argument.
Exactly.
But when somebody else wants it, they need to be able to find me.
Did you ever have to do the thing in high school where they gave you an egg and they're
like, don't break it.
This is what parenthood is like.
Did they ever make you do that?
No, I never did that.
Yeah, they would.
I think they used to do that to scare teenagers away from becoming parents too early, as they
would be like, you have to take care of this egg for a week, and if you break it, you fail
or whatever.
So I just looked this up.
And in some schools now, they give you a 10-pound sack of flour because it's similar, I guess,
to carrying around an actual baby if the baby were perfectly still and silent and only emitted
soft puffs of edible powdered excretions.
So other programs, since this is not 1832, will hook you up with a screaming, peeing
infant doll to contend with, just all as a lesson to say, hey, kids, we know having
intercourse with Bay is on fleek, and you want a YOLO, but consider some bomb-ass protection
so you don't become a teen parent who has to carry around a small, alive, screaming
person with your face.
So I think it used to be like a, which I feel like taking care of an unfertilized chicken
egg is a lot easier than an infant, but what do I know?
So now that you mentioned it, the one thing I remember like that was day camp and doing
egg tosses.
Oh, right.
I was always one of those kids that didn't want to break the egg.
I did not want to do it.
Some kids didn't care.
I did not want to break the egg.
You had an early appreciation.
Now if you bought a fertilized chicken egg, like from Whole Foods, because you believed
that for some reason fertilized chicken eggs were better, could you take it home, put it
on a heating blanket, and have some chicks in a couple weeks?
Good question.
I don't know.
Yeah.
And I wouldn't want to find out, actually, to be honest with you.
What are you going to do with those chickens?
Yeah, exactly.
I worked and I wouldn't buy fertilized chicken eggs.
Yeah.
What is the difference of when you're eating an egg being fertilized or not?
It could be taste or something.
I mean, I think, but again, I don't have any intention of finding out anytime soon.
I looked this up and apparently you can hatch chickens from fertilized eggs from like Trader
Joe's, provided they're pretty fresh and actually fertilized.
So how can you tell?
Okay.
Let's get into some super quick egg anatomy.
Okay.
So the egg white or albumin is mostly water and some protein and it serves to protect
and feed the chickie.
Now the yolk is higher in protein and fat and it really nourishes the growing baby
burp.
And the color of a yolk can really vary depending on what a bird has been eating.
So grain diets probably lead to like lighter yolks, but backyard hens munching on like table
scraps and carrot peelings might have like bright orange yolks.
So we already learned that the chalaza are those springy protein slingshot rides that
keep it all stable inside.
Now to see if a yolk is fertilized, you have to break the egg.
So you get a whole carton and crack a few and then you'll know if the rest are like
down to hatch.
Now of the ones you test crack, look for a white spot on the yolk.
If it's small and round, that's called a blasto disc and that is not in fact fertilized.
That is a dud.
Now if the white spot on the yolk is more of a bullseye pattern, then that is a blasto
derm and the start of a chicken.
So note, do not crack the eggs of the ones you want to hatch just in case that was unclear.
You just want to test a few in the carton, shed a tiny tear and eat them, incubate the
others.
Have you heard of belute?
Hi.
Sorry.
Me again.
Just with another quick necessary aside.
So belute.
What is it?
While the East Asian snack often consumed with beer, it consists of a boiled duck egg.
So what's the big deal?
Oh, also the duck egg was fertile and the baby duck has been developing for two to three
weeks.
It has like bones and a beak and stuff.
Just all boiled and eaten.
But a reminder, lobster was once served as prison food because the idea of eating a sea
cockroach was considered disgusting and punishment.
And I don't even know what's in nacho cheese, but I could eat it all day long.
And belute apparently has its roots in luxury too.
And I read that it is the street food in the Philippines at night and it's served warm.
It has kind of an unctuous, brothy liquid on top and the yolk is said to be creamy like
a custard.
And I asked a listener who's had it, they say it's not too crunchy.
Also you don't have to eat the crunchy bits, but it seems like every culture has its celebrated
foods that are maybe difficult conceptually from haggis to my Italian relatives feasting
on pig feet.
And it's all just a matter of familiarity and perspective.
If you offered many an American and intestine stuffed with frappe pig buttholes, they might
say, no thank you.
But zing, that's what hot dogs are.
Also I had a really great and illuminating conversation with one listener named Jackie
in Boston who reminded me that our cavalier food fears could so real and harmful xenophobia.
And also our Asian American friends know this all too well right now.
So a friendly reminder from Jackie to try new foods and to keep your brain and your
hearts wide open.
And to all the Asian oligites, we love you and we see you and it's on all of us to stand
up for each other and to protect each other from the effects of ignorance.
And to quote the wonderful Dr. Merlin title of the Chiropterology episode, people fear
most what they understand the least.
Now if you have ever eaten a fertilized egg, I will say from the grocery store, you've
also eaten belute.
Just very, very underripe if you will.
I have some questions from listeners.
Can I ask you?
Yes, you can.
Okay.
Some of them are from my dad.
Hi dad.
But before we get to your questions, a quick word about sponsors of the show and since
this is an encore presentation back in 2018, we didn't have sponsors and we weren't able
to donate to causes, but now we can.
So in honor of Dr. John Pates, we're sending some cash to the Field Museum to continue
their excellent education and outreach and research.
And that was made possible by some companies that I genuinely like.
Okay.
Patreon questions.
But this first question though is from Neil Williams and it's a good one.
Now that has plagued me ever since, songwriter Joe Raposo posed it on Sesame Street.
Chicken or the egg?
What came first?
Yeah.
Good question.
I mean, I guess the egg.
It's funny because if you look at chicken as a common name for gallus gallus, which
is a bird, and dinosaurs, the ancestors of chickens laid eggs, then the egg came before
the chicken in that sense.
We figured it out.
There we go.
God, everything in my life is so much easier now.
You're going to get a lot of letters about that.
Well, and you know what?
I'll be like, why don't you consult a noologist?
I have one.
He's right here.
Jerry Davis wants to know, are there any eggs that are poisonous to eat?
Wow.
That's an interesting question.
I don't know.
The quick answer to that's no, not that I can think of.
We were just talking about some of the today, some of the other, you know, like there's
a bird that was found to be poisonous in New Guinea called a pitahoe, but it's because
it eats beetles and is able to sequester the poisons, but it's eggs I don't think would
be poisonous.
Oh, good to know.
Way to go, bubba-hooe.
Pitahoe, by the way, look like pretty, just russet-colored songbirds, like ones you'd
see in the garden, but they use the same toxin as poison dart frogs.
So they're kind of like, if you found out your aunt was an assassin, bubba-hooe-oo-oo-ee.
Pitahoe.
Pitahoe.
Spencer Toth wants to know, is a breakfast chicken egg really only one cell?
Yes.
Really?
Yep.
It's one cell?
Yep.
Where's the nucleus and the ribosomes and the organelles and stuff?
So they're there.
I mean, this is like the, yeah.
I guess that makes sense because of like any egg that a female of any species produces
is one cell.
Right.
It is one cell.
Oh, that's weird.
Oh, I've never thought about that.
That's awesome.
Brooke Basone wants to know, what's the smallest egg in the world?
Is it a hummingbird?
It'll be one of the hummingbirds, and there are enough small hummingbirds that probably
have similar sized eggs.
The smallest hummingbird in the world is a bee hummingbird from Cuba.
And the amazing thing there is they have clutch sizes of two.
And the egg of a bee hummingbird would take up a large amount of the, you know, as we
said, it's one cell and it's a large amount of the internal space in a female bee hummingbird.
Is it just like the size of a tic-tac?
Bigger than that?
It actually looks very much like a tic-tac.
That's exactly what you think.
I got a chance to see some on the vault tour, and yep, they're just like a skosh larger
than a tic-tac, but way smaller than a mento.
They are 0% refreshing.
Do not eat them on a date.
So here are the chicklets.
That's a black-chinned hummingbird from Arizona.
Oh my gosh, those are tiny.
I've definitely eaten breath mints larger than that.
Exactly.
Oh my God, how cute and tiny!
Which reminds me of an old joke from when I was a kid, which was what did the hummingbird
say when she laid an ostrich egg?
What?
Ouch.
That actually segues perfectly into Katie Cobb's question.
Here's a stupid question.
Do you think an egg hurts?
Like it hurts for a human woman to give birth, but we don't do it a few times a week.
Yeah, I was actually looking as I prepped for this, and our modern chickens, we eat
five billion eggs a year in the U.S. alone, and the average chicken produces like 360
or something.
Yeah, like almost daily, right?
Yeah, I mean, just like it's incredible, and so does it hurt?
I mean, I don't know.
It's not the same as childbirth in humans.
Right.
In childbirth, we have real messed up pelvises, like our pelvises are not so great.
See the Alangies episodes on primatology and gynecology for more on that.
Did you ever see the movie Coolhand Luke?
Oh gosh, you know, yes.
You did?
What do you think?
I like Coolhand Luke.
What about the egg-eating part?
Yeah, it never bothered me.
Really?
Nobody ever eats 50 eggs.
Hey, Baba Lugans, we got a bet here.
My boss says he can eat 50 eggs, he can eat 50 eggs.
Just thinking about that, sometimes when I make like a lot of like a clutch, if you
will, of hard-boiled eggs, sometimes I think about that, and I think, oh God.
See, I think Rocky's the same way where he comes in after the run and just like, I would
never do that.
The funny thing is, if you asked me to eat an undercooked egg, a raw egg, I'd be like,
absolutely no, get out of my face.
But if you asked me to eat cookie dough, which contains them, I'm like, sign me up, I'm
here.
Right.
What's the deal?
It's completely illogical.
Oh, mind over matter.
Todd McLaren actually asks, what's your favorite egg art?
Ukrainian Easter egg, Mediara, lace egg, Fraberge egg.
Oh, I think those Ukrainian eggs are like incredible.
Really beautiful.
Yeah, really amazing pieces of artwork.
So these Ukrainian eggs, or Psanka, are ornately detailed using melted beeswax, and they just
keep dunking them and die over and over again.
And yes, there is a museum to Psanka eggs in Eastern Europe in case you're into that.
Now, onto a very special question from someone who is technically your grand pod, Larry Ward,
aka My Pops.
He wants to know, how are snake eggs incubated?
Does the mom or dad snake sit on them?
Yeah, they do actually.
Yeah, they provide some, but it's funny because that's a good question actually.
We need a herpetologist in a sense, because they're ectotherms.
So for this, I brought out the big guns.
And by guns, I mean snakes.
And I reached out to Dr. David Steen of the herpetology episode, aka Alongside Wild on
Twitter, and he responded swiftly and with informational precision.
He said, not all snakes lay eggs, but of those that do, the vast majority lay them and leave.
They just incubate on their own.
Now, pythons are a notable exception.
They coil around the eggs, and they can use muscle contractions to generate heat.
So I like to think of pythons doing like a twitchy dance, like, let's hatch these dang
babies.
So thanks for the question, Pops.
Alicia Mansfield asks, what causes color variations in eggs of the same species, for
example, chicken eggs coming in brown, white, or blue?
Yeah, that's a, I mean, some of it's just individual variation.
And so there's some kind of genetic variation in the DNA.
Well, I guess the DNA that's producing the compounds that are being deposited on the
shells eventually.
But there are these birds, like, like these common mirrors where they've actually evolved
the capacity.
It's of their nesting on colonies on these cliffs, and everybody looks alike.
And so the females have the ability to lay unique looking eggs that can be completely
different looking from the bird right next to them.
And that allows them to imprint on those eggs and then find them when they fly to and from
the colony to eat.
That's an incredibly cool thing.
And they're still trying to do the research.
So they're trying to figure out whether females lay the same kind of eggs from year to year.
So whether that's a genetically encoded pattern.
And those are really interesting questions.
That's great.
I never even thought about that.
Like, when you see speckled eggs that maybe look like granite, yeah, are those carbon
copies of each other every time or are the speckles in different places?
I used to think that they probably was.
There was probably a lot of variation that was genetically based.
It may very well be that most of it's just randomly involved with how fast they're passing
through the cloaca at the time.
And when they come out, it's literally just something different every time and the birds
can imprint on it and then find it the next time.
Wow, that's so fascinating.
Also fascinating, of course, how people treat and eat their eggs all over the globe.
I'm told that also you don't have to refrigerate eggs.
In Europe, you just leave your eggs on the counter.
Those Europeans.
I know.
They leave their butter on the counter.
They have health care.
They're crazy.
Eggs suppliers in the US and Australia and Japan and Scandinavia, they give their eggs
a little rubber-dub-dub bath with some soap and water.
And then that removes this protective cuticle that prevents bacteria from getting into any
hairline cracks.
But in other parts of the world, eggs are not washed and the chickens are just vaccinated
for salmonella.
So sure, there might be some poop on them, but you don't need an egg shelf in your fridge.
No, I mean, but when I was working in Brazil the first time, people used to leave mayonnaise
and refrigerate it out in the forest.
Oh, hell no.
And after a while, I started eating it.
It was fine.
Did you lose a lot of weight just because you were constantly sick?
No.
Really?
Speaking of salmonella, does that something that you worry about?
Yes.
Okay.
Now, salmonella comes maybe from an infected bird.
It comes right down the old poop chute and then you need to wash the eggs to avoid the
salmonella, right?
Yeah.
And I think that that's one thing that's kind of amazing about industry is how well they're
able to actually keep those things from being issues.
Because I really, I mean, there's a salmonella outbreak these days that's kind of stunning
how quickly we know about it and how quickly in most cases they figure out exactly where
they come from.
I know.
Isn't it crazy?
P.S.
Salmonella, I just found this out, is the same genus and bacteria that causes typhoid
fever and of course just a whole bunch of food poisoning.
Now it can get on the eggs when it passes through the oviduct of a chicken or in the
egg as it's forming.
Now not all chickens have salmonella and some will show signs like lethargy if they
do have it.
Now before you go hatching a crate of fertilized eggs, do know it turns out that backyard chickens
if they have salmonella can pass it along, especially as the CDC warns if there has been
snuggling of the chicken.
And salmonella poisoning does land folks in the hospital or it can be fatal.
So don't go licking a bunch of chickens or eating raw eggs or poultry.
Ironically, eating raw salmon seems to be fine but that's because the name salmonella
was derived from one Dr. Edgar Elmer Salmon, a veterinary surgeon for whom it was named.
Here Dr. Salmon, we have bestowed you with a legacy for generations, a very confusing
fish sounding disease of the chicken butt that scares people away from cookie dough.
Also, if you're like a real cookie dough trollop like myself, just go ahead and make
it with pasteurized eggs.
Feel free to eat the whole bowl.
Does anything in John's work cause him to eat entire salad bowls filled with raw cookies?
What is the most annoying thing about eggs or your job?
Well, with eggs I would say it's keeping track of them.
So you have a clutch but you have four or five eggs in that clutch and so you've got
to figure out, they number them all and so you just got to be careful with respect to
getting things mixed up and things and then you don't have anything else to go on if things
do get mixed up.
Oof.
Yeah, that's true.
I mean, can you put a little number on them?
They do put little numbers on them but let's say there are a bunch of little numbers and
they were put on 120 years ago, it's possible that you could have a hard time deciphering
what was done.
Do you find that the notes are like very poetically descriptive?
More so than they would be these days?
Not really, what's beautiful about them is the different handwriting.
People had so much better handwriting.
I did notice this when I was looking through and swooning over some field note calligraphy
among the vintage egg stacks.
I mean, that font too.
And he had good handwriting.
Yep.
I wonder, so do you think he was amateur or do you think he was pro?
He was an amateur.
Really?
Yeah, all these guys were amateurs.
Almost all the egg collecting was done by amateurs.
It's really amazing.
Wow, and they call themselves oologists.
Yeah.
And yet you've edited a book about eggs.
Yep.
And I'm not calling myself an oologist.
Oh my God.
Oh, it's just pathologically humble.
Just beautiful cursive and things in ways that nobody would do today.
God, we got to get back into that, I feel like, you know, because those were the original
fonts.
I guess I'll make some computer programs that'll do it and I can actually effectively do some
of that.
But it's not going to be me by handwriting.
It'd be so funny if field biologists had to take, like, fountain pen courses.
You know, like, we got to keep it up, guys.
There's no doubt that one of the things we should do is take printing courses.
And I'm exhibit A of somebody who is not good at that.
And I have immense amount of respect for my colleagues that actually write impeccable
scientific field notes and labels and things.
I'm looking at some handwriting you have over here.
No, I'm not bad.
I could tell you stories.
Let us write this for you.
Oh, that's one way to get out and do and work.
That's like someone asked you to do the dishes so you break a dish.
You never get asked to do the dishes again.
Except in this case, it's like, I really wish I could do it.
Well, I can't type.
So you can learn to print and I'll learn how to type.
What do you love the most about eggs?
I mean, just that there's such an important part of the biology of birds.
I think that's the most interesting thing to me.
And the other thing is that, actually, with all the birds in this world,
and there are some 10,800 species, we probably don't know anything about the
eggs of upwards of 30 to 40 percent of the species, maybe.
Wow.
That's crazy.
Which is kind of interesting.
So there's a lot we don't know about eggs.
There's so many mysteries.
And what about your job?
What's your favorite thing about your job?
Well, my favorite thing about my job is learning new things and getting to work
with a group of organisms that I love and really kind of getting paid for my
to do my avocation.
So you're a professional bird nerd.
Yeah, absolutely.
I mean, that's the dream for a birder is to be like, I you get that's like
making the major leagues.
Oh, yeah, I was I tell I tell students that that I, you know, I started out
wanting to be a I was a pre-med and I took a cell biology course and I
realized really somebody might pay me to actually study birds the rest of my life.
So you're like, fairing off.
It was it was an easy veer.
Now, if you would have told yourself a young bird or that you would get to do
this for a living, would you just been so stoked?
Yeah, I mean, I grew up.
My dad was a birdwatcher and a very active birdwatcher.
And I actually started birding because my brother was four years older and I
realized if I wanted to spend any time with the two of them, I better learn
something about birds.
So that's how I got interested in it.
And I just even back then I fell in love with the the idea of being able to
study birds up close and in those, you know, in that kind of way.
And now you get to study them every day.
Yep.
And things that come out of them.
Yep.
And the inside and the outside.
And things that, you know, that last like that.
Well, I think that your only job left is to come to terms with the fact
that you're an oologist.
I think you need to accept that.
See, I could put that on my door and on my cards and stuff.
That's just not going to happen.
There's imposter syndrome is everywhere.
I'm like, I don't know if I know enough.
And you're like, you wrote a book about eggs.
What more do you want?
You managed a collection of 100,000 eggs.
But I think that the notion of, yeah, I mean, how many ologists can you actually be?
So at what point in time will you enter, you know, because I want to be an
ornithologist.
I like the fact that I study birds, right?
You can be more than one.
I'm Italian.
I'm also English.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
And you can be all kinds of things.
So, I mean, I live in LA.
Everyone's a hyphenate.
Yoga instructor, actor, life coach.
So I hereby proclaim that you're an oologist.
Fair enough.
Yay.
Thank you so much for doing this.
This was so fun.
My pleasure.
I could ask you a million egg westerns all day.
You'll have to come back and talk to an oologist.
Which is you.
So once again, Dr.
John Bates of the wonderful Field Museum of Chicago.
Now, if you like this podcast and the Field Museum, you should definitely
check out, if you haven't already, The Brain Scoop, which is the Field
Museum's web series hosted by the amazing Emily Grasley.
She is a wonderful person and a great science communicator.
So you might enjoy those.
Also, those videos are family friendly.
So you can watch those with your kids all you want.
Now, again, John was an editor alongside Barbara Becker of the Book of Eggs, a life
sized guide to the eggs of 600 of the world's bird species written by Mark
E.
Halber and available through Chicago University Press.
Now, warning, do you want to say this book is gorgeous?
And if you see it, you will want to purchase it.
Treat yourself.
Now, while you're at it, ologismurch.com has you covered in terms of hats and
backpacks and totes and sweatshirts, baby onesies.
Thank you, Bonnie Dutch and Shannon Feltas for managing that.
Also, thank you to the patrons who support the podcast for as little as 25
cents an episode for making this happen.
Thanks, Aaron Talbert for keeping the Facebook group, the ologies podcast
group, fun and cool, full of curious, non-jerks.
And thanks as always to Dinosaur Egg Baby, Steven Ray Morris for editing
ologies altogether every week.
The theme song was written and performed by Nick Thorburn.
And at the end of the episode, after the credits, you know, I tell a secret.
And this week, my secret is these the sides aren't that long, but it has taken
me almost double the amount of time to record them because I keep starting
one and then messing up a word and having to start over.
And I think it's because I'm recording this in my closet and it's a thousand
degrees, but this has been the one of probably the most tongue tied episode
I've ever had.
I cannot figure it out.
I'm just like, thank you for making it this far.
I am about to collapse from heat on my computer.
Oh, my God.
Bye bye.
Hey, baby, I hear the blues are calling toss salads and scrambled eggs.
And maybe I seem a bit confused.
Yeah, maybe, but I got you faked.
But I don't know what to do with those toss salads and scrambled eggs.