Ologies with Alie Ward - Pelicanology (PELICANS) with Juita Martinez

Episode Date: June 4, 2020

Spine mysteries, saggy sacs, limericks, flim flam, flags, #BlackBirdersWeek, sandals, divebombs, porcupine espionage, ice cream sandwiches and more! The warm and wonderful pelicanologist Juita Martinez studies these glorious dinosaurs and shares fieldwork stories, what it’s like to hold a floofy baby sea bird, what she loves about being in nature and resources for undergrads interested in becoming scientists. We also chat about birding and the amazing visibility campaign launched by BlackAFinSTEM, which is hosting online events this week to open the discussion about how racism affects Black naturalists, scientists, hikers and any other people of color who want to enjoy the outdoors. Oh also: how not to lose a boat. Follow Juita Martinez at www.instagram.com/juitamartinez and twitter.com/JuitaMartinez Juita’s website: https://juitamartinez.weebly.com Follow BlackAFinSTEM at Twitter.com/BlackAFinSTEM and Instagram.com/BlackAFinSTEM A donation went to BackyardBasecamp.org #BlackBirdersWeek Events: Thursday, June 4 #BirdingWhileBlack Livestream Discussion: tinyurl.com/BlackBirders, 7pm-8:30pm EST, moderated by Twitter.com/itsafronomics Friday, June 5 #BlackWomenWhoBird. Follow all the amazing #BlackWomenWhoBird Also check out #AskABlackBirder, #PostABird, #BlackInNature, #BlackAFInSTEM More links at alieward.com/ologies/pelicanology Transcripts & bleeped episodes at: alieward.com/ologies-extras Become a patron of Ologies for as little as a buck a month: www.Patreon.com/ologies OlogiesMerch.com has hats, shirts, pins, totes and STIIIICKERS! Follow twitter.com/ologies or instagram.com/ologies Follow twitter.com/AlieWard or instagram.com/AlieWard Sound editing by Jarrett Sleeper of MindJam Media & Steven Ray Morris Theme song by Nick ThorburnSupport the show: http://Patreon.com/ologies

Oh hey, it's that lady in the park, just staring at pigeons, trying to imagine what's on their minds. Ally Ward back with more allergies to gulp into your mouth pouch as we explore and just get to love pelicans. So I'm going to keep this intro as swift as I can. I just want to say thank you to everyone on Patreon supporting the show. Thanks to everyone rating and subscribing, sharing the show, leaving reviews. Like this week, Blaze Fowler says, you're my kind of weirdo.

I'm an introvert. And with you, I'm vicariously listening. I'm living my best extroverted life. Also Joe Rod 33, your review about your grandson, launching off of a bidet, was a special treat. Also Bobby Gulling, I swear, I'm trying to swear less often, sort of, but not really. Anyway. Okay, pelicanology. Others have used this word before, so we're using it now.

So pelican seems to come from pelicus, which is the Greek for axe because of the bird's long axe-handling bill. So is there anything more badass than your name being axe face? I don't know. I don't think so. Anyway, I started following thisologist recently on Twitter because of a really, really wonderful movement called Black Birders Week. And Black Birders Week officially kicked off May 31st.

It runs through June 5th with hashtags like, birding while black, ask a bird, post a bird, black woman who bird, and it was launched in part as a reaction to an event that occurred in Central Park on Memorial Day. An autobahn board member and birdwatcher Christian Cooper was threatened by a dog owner who tried to use systemic racism as a weapon, essentially. You likely saw it on the news. It was a pretty painful reminder of the realities that they face in the field. Black biologists and naturalists face racism and threats and even violence for just enjoying

nature. Black lives matter, period. Black scientists matter, this conversation matters, and this conversation has been really prevalent for so long among black naturalists. And a lot of white folks just had no idea this was even a thing, had no idea how much privilege plays into choosing a job that requires fieldwork or going out to a park or on a hike or birdwatching like Christian was doing. So enter Black Birders Week, hashtag Black Birders Week.

It's amazing. It's opening eyes to birds and to systemic racism. We can continue to try to understand and dismantle. So Black Birders Week has already been a huge, giant success. The group who organized it is Black AF in STEM. They've gained almost 20,000 followers in a week. You can follow them at BlackAF in STEM. Follow everyone they follow.

There have been write-ups and newspapers on Black Birders Week. Twitter feeds have been a buffet of bird photos and facts and new faces to follow. So I started following thisologist recently, and her pinned tweet is a video of what appears to be tiny plucked chickens that are dancing. But they are actually squawking pelican infants, and I love them. So I messaged her three words in all caps, let's talk pelicans, as one does in a professional correspondence. And her response was, I can talk about dinosaur flooze all day.

So she grew up in LA, not far from where I live now, and is currently getting her PhD at the University of Louisiana at Lafayette, studying environmental and evolutionary biology. Looking at habitats and health of the brown pelican, so we hopped on the horn to chat about bird nerds and big bills and saggy sacks and porcupine espionage, flags, limflam, sandals, ice cream sandwiches, boats, wingspans, spine illusions, dive bombs and more. So open your ears and mouth pouches for pelicanologist Juita Martinez. Have you ever been like, there needs to be a pelicanology episode? I mean, on the inside, like very deep.

Maybe you would know that. You're going to know this better than I would. Are you a pelicanologist? Have you ever used that word? I actually have never used that word, but starting from today, I'm actually going to change my Twitter bio. I checked and she changed her Twitter bio to read, PhD student, hashtag dinosaur flooze equals brown pelicans, plus pelicanology.

I was so excited to talk about pelicans with you and I went to go look to see like what the genus was of pelicans. Yeah. So actually the genus is pelicanus. Okay. Oh, yeah. Pelicanus. Sorry.

Pelicanus. I mean, it has a ring to it, doesn't it though? How long have you been studying pelicans? So this year would be my third year. And how did you, how did you get into it? Have you always been into birds or has it been wildlife in general? Yeah. So it's always been wildlife and I'm actually like purting you into the bird world, I would

say. I worked with quite a few different species from like shrimp to microbes and then I switched to frogs, went back to porcupines. What? And then worked with butterflies for a summer. And then I worked with fifth to sixth graders with San Mateo outdoor ed. And then fifth and sixth graders is just like a, like another kind of creature. Sorry.

I didn't know anything. And then I ended up working for Richardson Bay Audubon in the Bay Area and that's what really got me into birds. I knew I wanted to go to grad school and I was pretty set on getting my PhD and my advisor, which he's my advisor now, had made this post about brown pelicans and it just clicked. And I was like, I have to apply. Honestly, I feel like it was luck because we like, we both clicked and then I was really interested in the project and everything that he sought out to do with the pelicans,

I had already done prior. Oh, well that's handy. So what was the post that she saw? So it started off talking about restoration and what restoration means is we're trying to create habitat in a way that it was in the past. And I was currently working on a restoration project and I had worked on restoration projects prior to that. And it was also using something called camera traps and camera traps are basically motion

censored cameras that normally hunters would use, but we're now using it to basically spy on brown pelicans and their babies. And I had used camera traps to also spy on porcupine two years earlier. I love how that sounds like. Yeah, I was like, I know. So nowadays, like all these things are so common to me. It's my everyday life. So I love telling my people, like, wait, that's not normal.

I just love the idea that there's a porcupine who's like, I swear someone's spying on us and their partner's like, no one's spying on us. You need to come down and meanwhile you're there, like in a bush, just like looking at what they're doing, being like, we are spying on you. Yeah, we get some pretty cool shots of them just looking really weird at the camera. Like, what is that thing doing there? Just admiring you. So before heading to Louisiana to become a doctoral fellow, Juida got her bachelors

in zoology with a minor in wildlife management from Humboldt State University. I was very adamant that I was going to become a veterinarian up until I really learned what it took to be a veterinarian and how much blood was involved, and I realized I'm too squeamish for it. So I was like, oh, I have to go down the research route now. And the NSF-REU program was the first experience that I had with any kind of science ever. And that really was like my foundation. Okay.

If you're like, huh, NSF-REU is a National Science Foundation research experiences for undergraduate's program, which pairs undergrads with different research programs, and it also gives the undergrads a stipend and in some cases, assistance with travel or housing. So that is the NSF-REU program. And with the NSF-REU program, which all undergrads, I highly recommend out there for you guys to apply. And I was basically doing environmental toxicology work. So that was my beginning.

But it gave me a really good foot in the door and understanding what I really liked about science and what I wasn't so interested in, but was still really important, such as lab work. I definitely enjoyed the field aspect a little more than I did the lab work. As a field tech, she gathered data and samples and studied everything from frog calls to those porcupines to what lives in shrimp guts, which in one case included antibiotic-resisted bacteria as she discovered in her junior year. Which actually landed me my first publication, which was Wilde, because never in a million

years have anyone told me that that would happen. And I'm like, no, there's no way. That's amazing. How did you celebrate? I actually, I'm pretty sure I worked like a full shift that day, so I don't think I actually celebrated. Like, now that I'm looking back, I don't think I ever, like, I internally celebrated, even though I knew it was a big deal.

Yeah, you can still, there's no, there's like no statute of limitations on celebrating. You can get a piece of cake tonight if you want to. Well, I guess I have to do it now. Yeah. So I looked it up and this first paper published, remember, still as an undergrad, is called Exposure of the Grass Shrimp, Paleo Monetes Pugio to Antimicrobial Compounds Effects Associated Vibrio Bacterial Density in Development of Antipatic Resistance. It was published in October 2014.

It is never too late for cake. Yeah, it was a very proud moment for sure. That was what I knew. I definitely wanted to pursue this path, and I ended up working with porcupines right after that for two years, and then I ended up working with my first, like, restoration project after graduating from an undergrad, and that was with the Island Marble Butterfly, and they're endemic to this one little island off the coast of Washington called San Juan, and I got to spend a whole summer on that island, basically rearing butterfly eggs.

Oh my gosh, that's a dream, like an actual dream. It was, it was pretty great. What were you like as a kid? Were you like an indoor bookworm? Were you outside chomping around, getting your feet muddy? My parents thought there was something wrong with me, because all I wanted to do was watch snails. Slippery little suckers.

Like, I had, like, a weird fascination with, like, snails, and at one part of one point in my life, I wanted an ant farm. I was basically outdoors all the time, trying to basically observing wildlife, as many as I could, in Silver Lake, which is not the most wildlife-friendly area, as you know, so I had to get really creative with what I could find in the yard. So from LA to LA, Los Angeles to Louisiana, from a childhood gazing at snails to getting a PhD in pelicans. And now, what about brown pelicans?

First off, let's do a question, what is a pelican? Is a pelican only the kind that have the purse attached to their face? I've never actually heard someone say that, that is awesome, I love that description of it. They do! They have a handbag for a mouth. They do, that is a good one, I love it. Yes, so all pelicans have a purse, which is better known as a goulard pouch.

And that's what helps them survive, that is how they catch their food. It means throat in Latin. So a goulard pouch is a pelican face purse, that's what it is. Brown pelicans specifically actually plunge dive, so from about 30 feet or so up in the air they will spot a school of fish and then just dive down and use that pouch to basically scoop up all the fish. It's in my purse! And what do they do with all the water that they also scoop up?

So if there's other birds around such as gulls that try to like steal the fish from their mouths, they will just slightly open their bills and let the water like seep out until there's just fish in their pouch. Why do they need so many fish? This is what I can't understand because they're kind of big birds, right? But other big birds, they catch a fish, they catch a thing at a time. But pelicans are like in it. I feel like they have the best equipment in the game.

Like why do they need to catch so much fish? I would think it depends on the season. So if they're trying to feed their chicks, they have about a maximum of three chicks. So if you think about a pelican, they're about 16 pounds, which is quite a bit of weight. And on top of that, they have to feed themselves, have enough energy to fly around and catch the fish. But then they also have one to three mouths to feed. They're going to need quite a bit of fish for that.

And these pelicans are born completely naked and with their eyes shut. I'm naked, aren't I? So they're completely reliant on their parents for quite a few months. And then what about their wingspan? Because a 16 pound bird's pretty big. How big are the wings to keep it aloft? It's about six feet, which is taller than me. Oh, that's huge.

That's like a condor size, right? Yeah. It's a good social distancing size. Oh my God, that needs to be your new campaign. It's everyone's day one pelican wingspan away from each other. Oh my God. So 16 pounds, six feet. Because are they all inland or I mean, are they all Gulf or coastal or are they inland

too? So we have two species in North America. We have the brown pelican and the white pelican. And actually the brown pelican is smaller than the white pelican by about 10 pounds or so. And the brown pelican stays on the coastline, like up and down the west coast and then throughout the Gulf of Mexico and up to North Carolina ish. And the white pelicans on the other hand, you can't see them on the coast, but they

breed inland. How many pelican species are there in the world? I looked it up. There are eight in case that ever comes up in a game of pelican trivia. And now you call them floof dinosaurs? Dinosaur floofs? Dinosaur floofs? Are they really fuzzy?

Okay. So they, there's like this middle stage, they're born naked and then they start getting these little pin feathers and they get their down feathers first. And that down feather is what sparked the hashtag. So down feather is the insulating part of their body and it's really soft and floofy. And so when you're holding a kind of baby pelican that just has down feathers, they're pretty floofy and I feel very lucky. So you've gotten to hold them?

Yes. So we have a project because Louisiana is losing land at a very rapid rate because it's sinking and the sea level is rising. So these islands that are perfect habitats for these pelicans to raise their young are actually getting overtopped and just completely disappearing. We don't really understand what happens to pelicans once their islands disappear because their instinct is to come back to the same islands that they were born on. And so what I've been doing is I am putting leg bands on these pelicans so that future

grad students, once I'm graduated, are able to go back and track these bands and hopefully we'll get a better understanding of where they moved to. So apparently only 30% of pelicans survive their first year of life. Only 2% make it to age 10. But some, some have been known to live until their 40s. So somewhere out there, there is a Gen X pelican listening to Britpop. But how do they tell who's who? So my lab does orange bands and other labs that study pelicans, the different color bands

and these color bands are really large so we can see them from really far away without having to disturb the birds. Oh that's nice. When I was looking at baby pelicans on your Twitter, I myself had an impulse to want to give them one tiny kiss on their heads. Is that a normal impulse for a person? I would say yes. But if you ever come down to Louisiana and come out to the islands with me, I think you

will be satisfied just by holding them because I will say they might be floofy, but they're also very stinky. So a hug, a hug is as far as I usually want to go with it. That's good to know. I know that it is like not a good idea to put my mouth on wildlife for the wildlife sake. Do not put your mouth on wildlife. The wildlife does not want you to. Also I looked up the floofs and they look like what would come out of the dryer.

Like in the lint hatch after washing a load of brand new floofy towels. So picture a lint ball, but with big clappy flappy face parts. But when they're born, they are indeed featherless. They look like little alive frozen chickens. They look so cute. So cute. I can't handle it. And the gular pouch or the purse is so tiny on the baby chicks and they're just, oh my

gosh, it gets me every time. When you're talking about doing restoration work to make sure that they have a home that they can come back to or that they have habitat that they can inhabit, how do you do that if you're up against things like sea levels rising and like land sinking? What do you do? So right now Louisiana is being restored, but not by me. They actually have agencies such as the Coastal Protection and Restoration Act and different groups of people that come out here and basically perform something called dredging.

So they put in these pipes basically under the ocean level. And what they do is they pump a bunch of sediment from the ocean floor onto these islands. So we're basically just building land from the ocean floor. We're just putting it up. And these pipes go for miles. And the latest restoration project I believe took about five months to complete. Five months? Yes.

They started in the past. Yeah. Right? But there's other restoration projects that took two years, so this was a pretty quick one. Five months, man. I have laundry that I haven't done in five months. Like I have home projects that I have not done in five months to build whole islands.

When you are tracking them, I mean, can you see on a year-to-year basis any change or improvement? Yeah. So some islands have been restored and some have not. And what my research aims to do is to compare the Pelican populations on these two different sets of islands across coastal Louisiana. And our preliminary data is telling us that there is a larger population on Restored Island, which means the restoration is working and the billions of dollars is not being wasted.

Yeah. And we also found that chicks are more likely to reach that age where they can fly away and fend for themselves on Restored Islands versus those that are born on Unrestored Islands, which is really helpful because no one's actually looked at that yet. How did you kind of start to discover that? Was there a moment when you were crunching data where you started to say like, oh, wait a second, I'm seeing a difference here? Yeah.

So that was just one of my questions that I had because I thought it would be interesting to see how restoration affects these populations because when you're restoring an island, you're changing the habitat completely from all the different insects that might be on it and the different plants, because when they deposit all this sediment from the sea floor, you're burying any vegetation that was there prior. And this vegetation is very important for the Pelicans to build a nest on. My hypothesis was that Restored Islands would be a better nesting ground for these pelicans. And so far, the data shows that.

That must have been an amazing discovery. Yeah. I'm really excited about it. I'm excited for the Pelicans too. Okay. With good reason, this blew my mind because this potentially gives them a fighting chance in the future if we know how to save their nesting habitats. How are their numbers like when, when did they start to maybe take a dip?

So by 1963, brown pelicans were completely extinct from the state of Louisiana. Seriously? Yes. Due to DDT. Oh, fuck. So if they're, if they keep laying eggs and the eggs keep getting crushed or if the nest keeps failing, they will actually leave the area. That's it.

I'm out of here. Oh man. And the brown pelican is the state bird. So for the state to not have brown pelicans, did it really make sense? Yeah. That's a bad PR. So there was this huge push to reestablish the population here and the way that they did it was they actually brought a little over a thousand brown pelican chicks from Florida.

So all of the pelican, or for the most part, all of the pelicans in Louisiana right now are descendants of the 1000 or so Florida population. That is nuts. So they were Louisiana's like, we don't have to change the state bird or we have to get more pelicans in here immediately people. Yes. And they did the latter, which I'm glad to say that it was a huge success. And it took a lot of effort and I'm so happy that everyone involved like did their part

and right now we're just trying to maintain their population and make sure it doesn't like decrease anymore. And they're doing pretty good right now. Their numbers could be a little bit better. It also depends on the fishery. So if there's less fish, less chicks are likely to survive and therefore their population isn't going to grow as well. Okay.

So what happens if you take a Florida pelican and you move it to Louisiana? What if they don't like Louisiana's fish menu? Well, Juida is collabing with the Nelson Lab at the University of Louisiana to figure out their favorite fish. And it turns out their diet is 98% Manhattan, which is a silvery forked tail oily filter feeding fish. And now they're also called bug heads because of a parasitic isopod that eats and takes over for its tongue.

The world is crazy. But Manhattan are a staple in a lot of wildlife diets. So protecting this fish protects the pelicans as well as other sea and air critters that kind of pull up a seat to this feast that is a school of Manhattan. How can they see from the sky? I mean, I realize they're pelicans. They're very good at this. Like they're cruising along, right?

They have this thing flapping in the wind. Their face is flapping around. I'm picturing it, but it actually gets tucked, right? I don't know. Tucked is the word I would use. It's not necessarily like swaying. I'm picturing it like a windbreaker. I don't know why.

I'm trying to picture what it feels like. Is it like leather or denim or skin? These are questions that one can ask a pelicanologist. What do their bills or the pouch, like what is it? Do you have you ever touched it? Like what does it feel like? It basically feels like saggy skin. Like extremely saggy and wrinkly skin.

And it's really flexible. That seems so cute. Oh, there has to be like an animated pelican that gets it wrong or right. How do you feel about pelicans in like pop culture? I mean, I've seen like pick art photos of them, and I'm like, they try to get the pouch right, but it just looks like a U shape, but in Louisiana, especially, I think most people really value the pelican. We could find them on our basketball team.

We're going to push tempo here, the pelicans. Number five in the NBA in fast break points. Favors, no! I do like how the state just really cherishes the brown pelican. In case you ever need to brag about a pelican, just know that they can dive bomb fish at 40 miles an hour. And their beaks, which have been unchanged for like 30 million years, slice the water to handle that speed and that velocity.

And that pouch I read acts like a little parachute underwater to help slow them down. So essentially they're fighter jets, but cooler and smellier. And what are their nests like? So their nests, they prefer to nest on taller shrubs because Louisiana floods quite often. So if they're on like taller vegetation, the chance of their nest flooding is smaller and they tend to use sticks. So they're maybe like two and a half feet in diameter. Pretty large nests, maybe a little smaller.

Now I'm trying to shake. I've never actually measured a pelican nest, but they're pretty big. Well, we're currently using drones to see we can get accurate nest counts. And you can definitely see the nest from a drone shot. What is it like working in the field? Do you have to suit up in like full rubber waders? What is your gear like if you are a pelicanologist? OK, when I first was starting, I like refused to wait in from the boat.

The minute we have enough light, we get in the boat, drive an hour to our field site. Most of our field sites are kind of far and we have to park the boat off shore because the tides can go out and then our boat will get stuck on land, which has happened. It's not pleasant because Louisiana only has one tide. So for your boat to get unstuck, it basically takes 24 hours. This is called a diurnal tide. What? Weird. OK, so what happened? Oh, no. So we had to call the water sheriff. Oh, it gets worse.

Oh, no. So the water sheriff comes. He puts the rope like on our boat. His boat isn't big enough or strong enough to get our boat out of the sand. The sun is setting really fast now and we're completely out of light at this point. You're going to need a bigger boat when a tugboat comes. And both of them together got our boat out, but our boat didn't have any lights. Oh, no. And it's pitch black. So we had one. We had no idea where we're going because we can't see anything.

Yeah. So the boat happened to have a hand light. So for about an hour and a half, I had to hold the hand light up. So the field tech who was driving the boat could follow the sheriff back to dry land. How big is the boat? What kind of boat is it? This boat was OK. This boat was actually 16 feet and it's the safety boat for a research vessel. Oh, my God.

So it's kind of not a real boat. Oh, no. You're on a lifeboat. Yeah. But you say, oh, no. We have since upgraded to a real boat, though. So I'm pretty happy about that. No. Oh, my God. OK. So you were like, I don't want to wait in from the boat. Have you changed methods now?

Are you like, it's worth it just to wait in from the boat? Oh, yeah. OK. Wait. So I would wait in. I would just wear wear waiters versus now I'm I just go in chocos. Like, I just don't care anymore. What is the choco? Wait. Sorry. What's a choco? Wait, you've never heard of chocos before?

No, no, they sound delicious. But no, no, no. They're a sandal brand. I know I didn't. I've heard of crocs. They're not crocs, though, right? No, I have to send you a pair of chocos now. Oh, my gosh, where you live in Los Angeles? Oh, my God, I'm going to look this up.

I'm going to send you a pair of chocos. You're the one that deserves them. I don't know what they are. Oh, OK. These are like teavas, but apparently more durable and badass. And they were invented for river sports and a lot of cool scientists where in the field. And I went down a rabbit hole on their site, just FYI, just imagining myself and chocos on a summer evening,

trying to distinguish what frogs are singing into the dust. I've never heard of them. They sound like chocotacos, which I have that. Have you ever had a chocotaco? No. Oh, my God. OK, a chocotaco is like a it's like an ice cream sandwich, but it's in a waffle shell that looks like a taco. And then inside there's ice cream and then it's covered in chocolate.

It's a chocotaco. Whoa, that's a lot. Wow. I'm going to send you some chocotacos. Yeah, I'll send you chocos, the shoes, and you send me chocos. Sorry, this is now an episode on what field biologists wear. I apologize. I had questions. So now you just have like an amphibious shoe that you're like, I'm going in. Yeah, they are the most hearty issue.

Like I love hiking in them, swimming in them. I take them everywhere with me. Basically, they last a really long time and they dry really fast. Oh, that's amazing. So you have now adjusted where you are, you know, like how to get in, how to get out. Is summer a big field work time for you or is it spring? Yeah, so we basically work from February through the end of July.

Oh, my God. It's pretty long, especially if you're taking classes, which I just took my last class ever this past semester. Pretty excited about it. She will be Pelicanologist Dr. Martinez in about five semesters or two and a half years. We're talking about birding. Now, you said that you weren't necessarily a birder before this,

but Pelican Watching has kind of opened you up to the world of birding, right? Yes, that's where it basically started. And then after COVID happened, I kind of became this amateur birder. Like I actually go out with my binos and my field guide and I really try to identify these birds and it's so much fun. And I just never did it before because I don't know what I was doing with my time. I mean, birding is from what I understand, like addictive in the way that like a really great game can be.

Yeah, I actually woke up at 6.30 because somebody on eBird said they saw a painted bunting at this one place at 6.30. So I was like, OK, as long as I like go at 6.30, you know, get there around that time and go to this one place. I should totally see it. It's totally going to be there and it was not. I walked around the whole trail, couldn't find it. And actually two weeks ago, I think I walked the same trail

with a couple of isolating friends and my housemate. And we found it. You did? Yeah, randomly around noon, not 6 a.m. It was noon. Oh, man. And it was just sitting there, singing. And it was the best moment. What does that feel like when you realize it? That's the bird that you've been looking for,

like when you get a win like that. I screamed and scared my housemates. I like ran out to living room jumping, screaming, like clapping my hands. And it was the best feeling. Do you take pictures or do you look through binoculars? What's the way to do it? I do both, but I mostly prefer to take photos because I can definitely have a nice solid ID

and I'm not that great of a birder yet. So I can't just be like, oh, it was totally that. So I prefer to take photos. So I have some evidence. My sister just started to do some birding and I can tell you're like her text start to be all bird pictures. And you're like, nice. She's got it. Oh my gosh.

Yay, team bird over here. So my sister Celeste is starting to get into bird IDs. And this past year, my friend Sarah has picked it up too. She is birdie girl LA on Instagram. She takes great pictures. And as white women, we have a different and a privileged experience of birding that black people do not. And hashtag Black Birders Week is making that discussion heard.

So basically this entire week is dedicated to amplifying and basically posting on Twitter, Instagram and even some live stream discussions. We are trying to showcase that black people are utilizing outdoor spaces. And these spaces should be safe for everyone, including us. The event that started this was there was a black birder who was just standing up for the law. And the person that he asked to just follow the rules, basically

utilized his race against him. And we just wanted to showcase that there are black birders as well as major enthusiasts and naturalists out there who utilize the space. And we hope that from other people seeing us out here, that this will just be normalized and things that occurred with that incident don't happen in the future. A lot of birders might worry about making sure that they bring water or sunscreen or an extra phone battery pack.

But black birders have an extra checklist. Sometimes when I'm outdoors, I try to make sure my field guide is visible. So no one thinks that I'm doing something with binos that other than looking at birds. I'm like, I promise I'm not spying on you. I'm really just looking for this one bird. So you're a porcupine or me. Yeah. But that that is something that is I've heard that from different field scientists

and as someone who doesn't quite get questioned if I'm in a park or if I'm looking for bugs or, you know, that's a privilege that I wasn't aware of until it was brought up by people who don't have that. It's just such an important conversation to have. I love what you're doing. And I love how much you're educating people, not only about your science, but also just about the social forces that impact your science, you know? Yeah, we are really hoping that this event will encourage discussion and dialogue

that different cultures and races can really just work together and that we can understand each other's viewpoints. And even though we are underrepresented in the outdoors, we're still here. I'm so glad that Black AF in STEM organizes Black Birders Week. And look up the hashtag on social media. You will see gorgeous bird photography, just stunning, awesome, rare bird species, spotting tips. There's binocular recommendations if you need them.

There are field stories and, of course, discussions about making sure Black and Indigenous and people of colour folks feel welcome and included in outdoor spaces. Now, to start birding, what do you need other than, I guess, just a smile on a trail and an interest to see birds? Because you don't really need equipment. Like, a pair of binos is great, but you can also see a cardinal for example, like, just with your naked eye. And I think it's a really good gateway for people to get out there

and, like, really interact with the wild spaces around them. Absolutely, yeah. And I hope more people pick up birding. Like, even if it's just sitting in your backyard and watching birds. Do you have time? Do you mind getting asked patron questions? Oh, actually, yeah, bring out here. I'm so excited.

OK, so before we get to your questions, a few words about sponsors who make it possible for allergies to donate to a cause of the allergist choosing each week. And this week, Chewita and all the folks at Black AF in STEM decided on BackyardBaseCamp.org, which is inspiring Black, Indigenous and all people of colour across Baltimore City to find nature where they are and empowering them to explore further. And this organization is awesome. It was launched by Atea Wells, who is a pediatric nurse with a passion for culturally relevant nature education and started off with nature walks

just in the neighborhood. And now BackyardBaseCamp also offers garden consultations and educator training and habitat discovery programs and more. They're awesome. So check them out and consider donating. That is BackyardBaseCamp.org. And that donation to them was made possible by sponsors of the show. Who you may hear about now.

OK, your appellate questions. There's a lot of appellate questions. OK, this is a question that I think I got the most. Then Elle McCall put it well, the spine thing out of their throats. Please tell us everything. And Evan Jude and Angela Minnell and Will Playway said, yes, please. Yes, yes, I'm dying to know. OK, just to let you know how big a deal this Patreon question was,

I'm going to read off all of the names of the people who asked it. First names only because we've got to make this short. Usually, everyone used a lot of exclamation points and all caps. Jen, Dory, Angie, Adam, Emily, Celia, Angela, Mr. Panguino, Kerry Grace, Kasia C, Marianne, Caitlin, Caitlin, Katie, Kathleen, Mary, Kerry, Vincenzo and Francesca. Kerry McGowan, first-time question asker said, spines through their mouths. Is that real?

And Francesca says, learning about the pelican spine thing is pretty much up there on my list of horrors. So when a pelican opens its mouth wide, what appears to be an inversion of its spinal column occurs. What? Yeah. So what's happening with their spine out of their throats? Oh, my gosh, I totally saw that. So it's only like hard of their it's like basically their neck vertebrae.

So they when they're doing that, they're actually just yawning. What? Yeah, yawning slash stretching. So while I'm taking my camera, chat, photos of them, that actually happens all the time. Really? And I recorded in my data sheet as yawning. Oh, my God, what other what other things are in your data sheet? Like, like yawning, like eye rolling, farting, like, what do you have to

shut down? I basically write down any and all behavior that I see. So everything from feeding, you can actually tell when a pelican chick is being fed because they're going to feed straight out of the pouch. So the baby chick's head is in the parents big pouch, basically, picking out fish. And one more thing on that vertebrae coming out of the neck. It's actually just their neck showing through the bottom of their pouch when they yawn or when they sit weird. And Corvid Thanatologist Dr.

Kelly Swift recently made a video involving a vacuum and a coat hanger and a condom explaining this visually. But essentially, no, their spine isn't coming out of their neck. It's just kind of like pushing through the bottom of their pouch normal. Something else I record is if there is any neighborly conducts happening. So they'll sometimes bicker with one another. David, stop acting like a disgruntled pelican. They're pretty territorial over their one little nest spot.

Well, Evan Jude, a patron, asked why are they such huge jerks? And I feel like, Evan Jude, what did a pelican do to you? Like, are they kind of feisty? They're feisty with each other. OK, I will say the adult pelicans are a little feisty. And sometimes there's like sibling rivalry, but usually I don't see that much of it. OK, I looked up video of this and sometimes these little dinosaur floofs use their long bills to bite each other's bills.

And it sounds like clacking a bunch of rulers together. But it looks like when my sisters and I would fight over barrettes and slap each other like little T-Rex bitches. Diane Pete wants to know, do pelicans chew their food or do they just swallow it? And what's the largest prey a pelican can eat? Or is it mostly about like eating a bunch of jelly beans at once instead of eating like a whole calzone? So they just do one big big gulp.

I'm sure there's multiple fish in their pouch, though. They'll probably do a few big gulp. They don't chew on anything. So it's whole fish that they are swallowing and regurgitating for their young to eat. Do they regurgitate it? Is it like a slurry? No, it's actually a whole fish. Oh, yeah. Dang. OK. I thought it. I was for sure I thought it was going to be like a fish smoothie,

but it's just like bloop, just like taking a granola bar right out of your own stomach. Yeah, basically. OK, so this next question was on the minds of patrons. Casey Sisterson, first-time question asker, John Cruz, Ashley Curtin, Diane P, Adrian Hollister, first-time question asker, Zoe Wang, Gary Jungling, Madeline Anderson, and Nat Matthews Graves, who phrased it. Could they fit a whole human person in those beaky beaks? So everyone wants to know how big a snack can it snack on?

What's the biggest thing that they can eat? As long as it fits in their pouch, they can basically swallow it. I saw a photo and I can't remember who took this photo, but basically they were the flounder in a pelican pouch. Those are the big, flat ones, right? Yeah. Oh, my God. Pretty big. It kind of like encompassed the whole pouch. And I'm really sorry to the person who took that photo that I can't remember

their Twitter handle. Yes, of course, I found this photo for all of us. And the credit goes to professional photographer in Twitterer Mark takes photo. And it is a head-on photo of an open-mouthed pelican and its face purse is occupied entirely by a halibut, kind of like if you stuffed a subway sandwich into a loafer. A 12 inch subway sandwich. Spectacular.

Kathleen Sacks asked if they move their spine to their mouths to cool off. Like, is that a yawn or is it a thermoregulation thing? No, it's not a thermoregulation thing. They it's definitely a yawn and it's just their neck vertebrae showing through their pouch because they've moved their heads backwards. And they actually thermoregulate by just going into the water. Oh, yeah. So yeah, or they stand up.

That's how they help their chicks thermoregulate is by creating shade. Oh, that's so sweet of them because they're kind of big. So they can do that, right? Yeah. This next one was asked by my pal, Greg Wollick and Megan Walker, William Andrews and Laura Merriman, who referenced the 1910 Limerick by Dixon Lanier Merit, an ornithology enthusiast and a professional humorist. The Limerick so goes, a wonderful bird is a pelican.

His bill will hold more than his pelican. He can take in his beak enough food for a week, but I'm damned if I see how the hell he can get it. So Bill versus gastric capacity. Can a pelican's beak hold more than its pelican? Belly can. Have you ever heard that joke? Yes, we used to tell that to our fifth and sixth graders

when I was a naturalist back in the day. So its beak can actually hold more than its belly can if you're counting the water volume. Oh, yeah. And then it just squirts it out and then it keeps the fish. Yes. That's a good thing to remember it. And Jeffrey Bradshaw wants to know, why are there pelicans at my very, very inland lake and those that's where they nest?

I'm assuming those are white pelicans. And yes, they are nesting. Um, Hollis had a question. Do their throat pouches lose elasticity as they get older? Oh, I would assume so. Right. That would be my assumption, but I actually don't know for sure. I wonder if they get jowly like the rest of us.

I wonder if there's like any Botox for pouches, I hope not. I wonder if there's a study on that. Oh, that would be cool. Look it up. OK, I look this up for more time than I am willing to admit. And finally, finally, I turn to corner to stumble upon the paper, quote, on the gular sac tissue of the brown pelican structural characterization and mechanical properties.

I was like, yes. And in this paper, they say bird age was found to affect the pouches, material, mechanical response, significantly supporting earlier musings that age brings more distinct anisotropy in the gular skin. And I think anisotropy means wrinkles from what I can gather via a Google. And let me tell you how lucky you are that I found this paper because you were about to get some data about testicular sagging for comparison in human males that really probably no one wants to hear.

But now I know that scrotoplasty is a thing. Get it if you want it. I do regret clicking them before and after links, though. Oh, Ashley Herbal had a question. Are pelicans disproportionately affected by the pollution in our oceans due to the way that they scoop up prey with their beak like and water? Does that happen? I don't know about disproportionately like worse than any other seabird.

In the event of like an oil spill, they could definitely ingest oil in that way. Potentially at a higher rate. But most seabirds are affected by the same thing pretty much across the board. And now you said that they can get feisty with each other and their neighbors, but not usually others. Julian Gibson wants to know, do pelicans ever attack surfers? I like to stare at them and swim towards them when surfing. Thus, I'm wondering my chances of an attack.

I have actually never been attacked by a pelican and I doubt that they would because they always fly away. It's the turns and the skimmers you have to look out for. They always dive bomb and I know it's coming and I flinch every time. They get so close. So yeah, don't worry about the pelicans. It's a little one. Yeah.

Oh, Megan Walker had another question about their flippy, flappy neck pouch. Do they ever get holes in their neck pouch? So unfortunately, fishing line and hooks is what I personally see. Pelicans die from the most in my field sites. And if a hook does get a pelican's bill or pouch, it will rip it basically. And then they can't feed. Oh, no. Yeah.

I wonder if bird rescues, are they ever able to repair it? So if I found them in time, yes, but I usually don't. Yeah. Oh my gosh, that's so sad. I know. Okay. That's I didn't even know that could happen. Okay.

PS, side note. I was like, I wonder if there's anyone really good at pelican gular sack surgery and it turns out, yes. Dr. Rebecca Dewar at the International Bird Rescue Facility in San Pedro, California has surgically repaired well over a hundred snagged sacks, including that of a brown pelican named Pink who in 2014 was found having been knifed through the $20,000 reward for info on Pink's injuries and what happened and who did it.

And it went unacclaimed and no one ever found the assailant. But the good news is that Dr. Dewar stitched Pink's bill back with hundreds of sutures and she was released back into the wild. And I hope she's just thriving in the sky and just takes the chance to drop gluey fish poop on people as much as she wants. Thomas and Wyndham wants to know if pelican chicks toss their siblings out of the nest.

Not usually. I don't, I have never seen them in my cameras, but there is sibling rivalry, rivalry in the sense that if there is not enough food to go around, the youngest chick tends to not get fed. Oh, OK. Yeah. So the order in that they were born is the order in which the parents will generally feed them.

They can remember, but are they like ten hours apart? Like like how soon they hatch kind of? It's more like a day or so. OK. And it's not that the parents remember. It's more that the older chicks are louder. They're more willing to like shove their siblings out of the way and like get to the parents first.

Do you have any siblings? I actually have four siblings. What's your birth order? I am second oldest. Oh, really? Yeah. But all of my siblings are taller than me. I'm the shortest.

I don't know what happened. Your parents must have graduated more fish into their mouths. I know. I'm like, did I just get less food than everybody? Oh, well. Zoltan Zazi wants to know if a pelican cutting its own chest to feed its young with its blood, does this happen? OK, this was a hot topic in Angela Mayfield, Kata Zirondi, Amber King,

Skyler L. Prim, Melissa Hannon and Juliana all wanted to know. Is it a symbol of sacrifice or is it just medieval flim flam? Oh, gosh. OK. So that image is actually on. The state flag. What? Yes. Are the pelicans bleeding itself? Yes, it's actually a white pelican.

OK, so I have to explain this. Oh, my God. It's supposed to show like caring and nurturing of all of the citizens of Louisiana. OK. But it does not happen. No, no, I promise it doesn't happen in real life. But so they used a myth about a pelican.

On a pelican that is not endemic to the state. Am I getting this right? It's just not the state bird. Not the bird. Yeah. So they used an image of not the state bird doing something pelicans don't do to symbolize the ethos of the state. Yes. They did a phone up of pelicanologists before they did that. I hope no one comes from me.

Oh, my God. That's not your fault that it's erroneous. It is the truth. Vexillology right there. All right, I googled this and the Louisiana flag is a blue banner with a big ass bird on it feeding chicks from like a blood boob, which is just erroneous all over the place. Now, for more on weird flags, you can see the vexillology episode

from September 2019. A lot of freaky flags out there, but not in a cool freak flag way in a why, what, why kind of way. And also a white pelican, not even the state bird doing something helpful that's actually a myth. Oh, OK, Megan Walker, how tough are their insides and do the fish die right away? It seems like a fresh, floppy fish would do some damage to the insides. So, I mean, just like our stomachs, their stomachs have pretty high acid content.

I'm not sure how fast the fish actually is like stops moving inside there, but I would assume it's pretty fast. Yeah. OK, I look this up and apparently it's pretty acidic in there. And fish are not long for this world once in a bird belly. Also, never feed fish scraps to a pelican. I just read that the jagged bones can tear their face purse. And the only kind of sac surgery that really needs to happen is hopefully just elective. OK.

Miranda Martin, first time question, asked her wants to know how are their populations doing, given all the environmental challenges and which issue is impacting them the most? Miranda says, I read that they stand on their eggs to incubate, but some of them were breaking due to DDT, which we talked about. But right now is is it the habitat loss is the big one? Yes. So losing their nesting sites is probably the biggest threat that they face on a wide scale, but I would say on a small scale.

And this study hasn't been done, but it's just from what I've observed. Fishing line is it's pretty bad. So basically human pollutants, plastic, for the most part, and fishing line. Oh, Amber King has a question. Why did they get that weird bump on their beak during mating season? And and then Elizabeth Rich says, what is the deal with the horn? Is it for courtship? Is it a tool? What kind of horny beaks do they got going on?

Juida says that this only happens on American white pelicans. And I look this up and it's kind of like a semi circular fin that grows from their upper bill. And by the way, most ornithologists are like beak or bill, either is fine. Anyway, they get this humpy horn thing during breeding season, and then it kind of dries up and just sloughs off in one ridgy chunk near the nest. Did I stumble on the blog of someone who collected them like horny sand dollars made of giant fingernail clippings?

I sure did. And I loved it. And once the white pelican lays their eggs, it falls off, basically. Oh, is that just to say like I'm available that they are fit enough to breed? I'm pretty sure. Yeah. I've got this bee comp. And once wondering if I'm down to fornicate pieces of my bee comp. Um, OK, Alison Bray says I already know too much about pelicans because my husband is a zookeeper, but please ask about pouch lice lol.

What is a pouch loss? OK, so there are lice found on pelicans. And there has to be on in a habitat that already had the lice and they can make their way like onto the pelicans. And it's not really good if they have really high abundance of lice. Oh, yeah. Oh, OK, I want to see what these pouch loss looks like. Pouch loss, Alison Bray.

Why did you do this to us? I look this up and just imagine staring down the fleshy barrel of a pelican purse to see dozens of bedbug looking horrors just clinging to the skin, which in some cases can malnourish our Pella friends. I want to get in there with tweezers and just just you lousom. I just want to help out. And also I'm a gross person and I like gross things.

OK, Julie Bear, how many pelicans are in a typical orgy? I mean a breeding colony. Is is it that kind of party? It's no, they usually just have one mate. OK. And on the biggest island in coastal Louisiana, we have about 10,000 breeding pairs. 10,000 or 10,000.

Oh, Micaely Egget, first-time question asker, asks, why do they have those terrifying red eyes? Do they have red eyes and are they terrifying? Oh, so brown pelicans actually have this blue hazely eyes. Oh, yeah, they're actually really pretty, in my opinion. An adult breeding pelican, I should specify, have the prettiest eyes. Side fact, white pelicans can have red eyes, kind of like that weird Bronco statue at the Denver airport.

Also, as breeding season comes and goes, a pelican's eyes can change color and so can their Gullar sack. It's so flirty. Ronan, last question, says, the brown pelican is my mom's favorite bird, which is amazing. And I asked her if she has a question. And so Ronan's mom wants to know, so do pelicans migrate or do they live in the same temperate location year round?

So in Louisiana, we do have brown pelicans that hang around all year, but some of them actually do travel down to Central America. Ooh. And that's wintertime? Yes. So outside of February through August, they can be somewhere else. I love the idea that they're just like little snowbirds, just having some fun, so they're on vacation,

and they just have a time share. I know I'm so jealous they get to leave, but I'm stuck in cold Louisiana. And you're just like waiting for them to come back? Yes, that's literally my life, like actually. Do you have any advice for anyone who has a feeling in their heart? Like maybe they are a birder, but they're not quite sure how to get started. I have a feeling in my heart that I might be a birder.

And I have a friend who I've known since we were 12. And just in the last year, something happened, and she is a capital B birder now. And I'm like, I get it. What do you think is the best way to start? Do you get like a local field guide? So I just got this recommended to me. And if you're a tech savvy person,

there's a Sibley app version two for $20 that you can download. So you don't have to carry around the really big field guide. And in this app, you can actually compare birds, which is really helpful. I think that's a really helpful tool just to see a side by side comparison, which you can do with the book, but you're just flipping around. Right. And the bird might fly away by the time that you reach the page that you have to get to. So I highly recommend this app if you can afford the $20,

as well as just going out there and seeing what's around you. Safety in the outdoors is very important. And recognizing Black Birders Week is a great way to celebrate Black naturalists and just let them know that they're seen and supported in the sciences and in the outdoors. In allogites, I hope you can be allies and find allies and maybe find some birding buddies out there. I have never been birding myself.

And this initiative has made me pretty eager to dust off my binoculars and go. So for a novice birder, is it better to go with a group who knows what to look for, or is it better to go in smaller groups so you don't scare the birds? If you feel it's safe to do so, how does this work? I like both, actually, like hanging out with a big group of people. There's more eyes looking around and everyone can share their experiences and like just point out different things that you may not have seen or known about.

And then sometimes I like to go out on my own because it forces me to really learn and hone in my skills. I think both options are awesome. How is your vision? I have a stigmatism. You do? I was wondering because like I feel like, you know, when you get a new contact or a new glasses prescription and suddenly you're like,

oh my gosh, all these leaves I've been missing out on. Oh my god, yeah, for me, it's like the blades of grass. I'm like, whoa, there's so many blades of grass. Who would have thought? And so it's not that great. But just got to remember to wear the glasses. Yeah, I whenever I get like a new prescription, that's always the thing that I notice.

And I imagine that that it must make you want to make sure that you've got like the right prescription a lot. Yes, you can see so much more. Oh my gosh. What sucks the most about pelicans or about your work? Okay, I think the worst for me is the boat. I am terrified. I'm not terrified of the boat.

I'm terrified of damaging the boat, losing the boat, or getting it stuck again. So I didn't actually ever lose a boat, but somebody else did. You lost a boat? Yeah, so what we have to do is you toss the anchor and you try to make sure that the anchor is actually in. And because if you don't, the boat basically drifts away. And so this person, you know, toss the anchor, went on their plot of land, whatever their field site was, and when they came back, the boat was gone.

No. Yeah, there's like half a million dollar boat. Did they ever find it? They did. Thank God they were in cell service areas versus me. I don't work in an area with a cell service. So if I lost the boat, I'm not sure what would happen. So that's probably like my biggest fear.

Chewita messaged me later to say that the boat was probably actually around $100,000, which, hello, he's like losing a brand new Porsche. Just out to sea, bobbing in the dark water. Now, can she just pop a GPS tile on a boat? She had a better idea. I should put a Louisiana state flag on it so I can see it. That's a good idea. That's what I should do.

Can you put a note on the bottom of the flag, being like Pelicans represented may not actually ever do this. Disclaimer or be our state bird. What about your favorite thing about Pelicans or your work? The fact that I get to be so close to these birds is wild because very few people get that opportunity and being surrounded by 10,000 nesting birds, specifically Pelicans, it's a wild experience. Are they loud?

Pelicans are actually not that bad. It's all the other birds around them from the turn to the skimmers to the laughing goals. They're super loud. But that's why I love taking volunteers out there where a pandemic isn't currently going on because I get to see my field site in a whole new light. And remember, oh, yeah, most people don't get to see that happening. And it's like the coolest thing. I just went out into the field for the first time yesterday and I took one of my committee

members and another grad student, both of whom have not been on the islands. And I know they're team fish, but I'm just going to say they were smiling from ear to ear. From one side of their pouch to the other. That's so exciting. Well, you have given me a new appreciation of Pelicans and Pelican babies. And they're floopy skin pouches and they're face purses. I'm going to call them face purses from now on. I love that.

Oh my God. Just dig it around. Just dig it around the handbag. Oh, look at this. Another fish. You never know. I'm so glad I got a chance to talk to you. If I'm next time I come to Louisiana, I'm going to look you up.

I hope it's in field season. I'll come out with my Chocos. Oh my God. Yes, we have to have this happen. That would be awesome. We'll eat some Choco Tacos. We'll go pelican-ing. We'll wear Chocos.

I promise not to lose the boat. So ask smart pelicanologists flappy, saggy, sappy, silly questions because they love pelicans. And now so do you. Look at that. You love pelicans and juida. You can follow her on Instagram or on Twitter at juidamartinas. I will put a link to those handles and to her website in the show notes. You can also join in and enjoy Black Birders Week.

You can check that hashtag. You can check the allergies Instagram for more hashtags and follow some really incredible new science friends from that. And the account at blackafinstem is also awesome. They organize Black Birders Week. Stay tuned for a bonus episode in your feeds this week. I'm very excited. I'm rushing to put that together, which is why this episode came out a teeny bit late,

but it's so worth it. I'm so excited. Okay, we are at Allergies on Twitter and Instagram. I'm Hallie Ward with 1L on both. And AllergiesMerch.com has totes and shirts and bags and such. And thank you to Shannon Feltis and Bonnie Dutch. They are sisters who host a comedy podcast called You Are That. They manage merch.

There have been warehouse delays due to COVID-19, but we're going as fast as we can. Thank you to the wonderful Erin Talbert who admins the Allergies Podcast Facebook group. There's also a subreddit if you're into that. Thanks to all the Allergies transcribers and Emily White for working so hard to make transcripts available at alleyward.com slash olergies-extras. Caleb Patton for making the bleeped episodes that are safe for kids. They are also up at that link. Kelly Dwyer for website updates.

Noelle for keeping me on top of my schedule. Thank you to Assistant Editor Jared Slipper of the Mental Health Podcast. I'm a good bad brain. And of course, to everyone's Pella can do guy, Stephen Ray Morris who hosts the podcast, The Purrcast and See Jurassic Right. Nick Thorburn wrote and performed the theme music. And if you stick around until the end of the episode through the credits, you know I tell you secrets.

And today's secret is that I went to my friend's house for a socially distant hang. By that, I mean I was sitting on the curb while she was sitting on her porch like 12 feet away. BYO Kombucha and I realized I had to pee and rather than go inside and touch all kinds of knobs and handles, I just peed in her backyard with her blessing. Nature calls. Hi, I'm here. Meteorology. Peptology.

Nephology. Cereology. Pseudology.