Omnichannel - Attachment Styles in Business (Part 3): Receiving Feedback

Episode Date: October 7, 2025

Send us a textJoin me, for the final part of my three-part series on feedback and attachment styles. In this episode, we’ll explore how each attachment style—anxious, avoidant, and secure—handles feedback, and what it takes to respond with grounded self-awareness and emotional maturity. You’ll leave with practical insights to navigate feedback in business and relationships without losing connection or confidence.Timestamps: 00:00 – Introduction & Series Overview 01:00 – Anxious Attachment and Feedback 03:00 – Common Reactions to Feedback 05:00 – Avoidant Attachment and Feedback 07:00 – Secure Attachment: Best Practices 09:00 – Personal Responsibility and Growth 11:00 – Conclusion & Program Info#Feedback #AttachmentStyles #EmotionalIntelligence #PersonalGrowth #HumanToHumanSign up for the waitlist for Human to human: dominikalegrand.com/programsGet a FREE Copy of the High Converting Online Events Book: https://book.dominikalegrand.com/

Another thing that I see on the anxious spectrum service providers do is when there is a mistake or there is a feedback, they are apologizing excessively. So this also goes into the collapsing into whatever you're hearing about yourself, but then also instead of thinking, okay, that makes sense. Oh, right, you tend to cry, overly apologize. You tend to think, oh, okay, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. Like, it's almost like you're so apologetic that the other person kind of has to be like, oh, no, no, don't worry. Don't cry. You're okay.

Like, it's fine. That's just make sure it doesn't happen, right? So you don't have to overly apologize. Hello, my dearest entrepreneur, friends. Welcome back to another video. Or if you are listening to this one on the podcast, welcome back to the podcast. Today, we're going to finish up our three-part series and talk about feedback and how the different attachment styles handle feedback. Now, if you are working with anyone, feedback is going to be

part of your journey. And there are different ways that the attachment styles can react to feedback. And also, there is a secure way of you reacting to feedback. The very first feedback reaction we're going to examine is with the anxious type. And there is something funny about the way they react, at least to me. And when you say, any feedback to them. First of all, one of the symptoms I see with anxious types when it comes to feedback is even when you want to have a meeting with them to deliver feedback. So when you say, hey, let's have a meeting because you want to give a feedback or constructive criticism or you want to have a discussion, they immediately going to think you're going to fire them. So it's crazy

to me because even just thinking, oh, I'm just going to try to see if I can give feedback to this person and maybe we can move forward with working together in a more efficient way. But when you even ask for a meeting outside of the normal schedule, anxious folks, they start spiraling and thinking that you want to fire them, which is obviously not the case. I mean, it can't be the case, but that's the default thinking pattern. That if you want to meet outside of the normal schedule, that you're going to want to fire them. So this is something that if you are, tend to think about that if people want to meet you, have a meeting with you outside of your normal schedule, that they want to fire you. I'm telling you that it's not that easy. There should be

signs that someone wants to fire you. There should be discussions. There should be adjustments. I mean, can be scenarios in which they just fire you just like that. But usually when you have a relationship with someone and a work relationship with someone, they don't just snap a finger and then kicking you out, especially not if you are someone that is actually valuable inside of their organization. Okay. So that's one thing. The second thing is, and maybe then let's really hone into the feedback side, is when you tell them any type of feedback, they really take it personally. So there is this personalization. They do take it to the heart. They take it as a personal attack instead of zooming out and looking at it objectively and see, okay, actually what you're

saying is correct. I agree with you. I hear you. Yeah, that makes perfect sense. Let me adjust that for the next time. Let me see how we can do better next time. So instead of thinking about the most obvious solution, which is to be like, oh, that makes perfect sense. They tend to collapse into themselves and take it very, very personally, as if you hate them or you don't like them. It's not easy for these people to differentiate their work and detach it from themselves, right? So the key here is to make sure you make the distinction and you don't think that, okay, your work and who you are can sometimes be not intertwined so much, okay? So you can care and you can show up with care, but you can also recognize that you can make mistakes. There are things that

you can improve, and that doesn't have to hit you on an identity level. It can just be a, thank you so much. Let me see if I can improve this, right? And if I have to tie it back to how secure people handle these feedbacks, they usually want to understand and also want to prepare and moving forward, learn from it. So instead of collapsing into feedback, you have secure you are understanding the feedback you're trying to see where they're coming from and you're adjusting your behavior moving forward in the working relationship so if you make a mistake if there was something you didn't notice or there's something that can be improved and someone tells you that in an honest way you can then use that information to improve and to make sure that never happens again

i think that's a healthy way to go about it another thing that i see on the anxious spectrum service providers do is when there is a mistake or there is a feedback, they are apologizing excessively. So this also goes into the collapsing into whatever you're hearing about yourself, but then also instead of thinking, okay, that makes sense. Oh, right. You tend to cry, overly apologize. You tend to think, oh, okay, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. It's almost like you're so apologetic that the other person kind of has to be like oh no no don't worry don't cry you're okay like it's fine let's just make sure it doesn't happen right so you don't have to overly apologize you can acknowledge the feedback or the mistake you can acknowledge it and you can be like

okay thank you oh oh sorry i haven't noticed that that's all the apologies you need if you want to apologize but let's think about the resolution let's think about how we're going to move forward. Let's not get stuck on the past too much. Let's not dwell on it. Let's not overly apologize. Just make sure you acknowledge it, you hear it, and you move forward from it. Okay. Another sign that I already kind of mentioned is spiraling into self-doubt. So when you give them feedback, they try to spiral into self-doubt. They're unsure of themselves. And what to do next is almost like a little bit of a freeze response that's coming online for them. That's something I'm missing, but I don't want to take too much time on the Salvador part

because I don't want to take too much time on the spiraling part because I feel like we kind of already talked about it throughout the entire series. So they spiral, they get this into this, um, Salvador spirals and it's not good. Even for the other person, most of them, they can do this in private. So it's not like you're going to see them. doing this, but I feel like this spiraling takes up so much mental allergy that it's unnecessary, right? It's too much. It takes too long for them to recover from these types of feedbacks or mistakes because they just don't know how to not take it so personally and not

doubt themselves moving forward. So I think the end note to this is, like I said, don't take that personally. Try to see how you can improve and try to understand where they're coming from and try to Dan, not overly apologize, but see how can I move forward from this mistake and recover from it. Okay? Another one is to wanting to fix something really fast and restore the connection when sometimes the antidote is to just give space. So imagine if there is a mistake that happened in the lighting you know that you mess something up. Yes, you want to fix it. Yes, you want to make sure that this won't happen again, but also you have to let people be angry sometimes, right? So you have to let them feel angry and frustrated. You have to let them give them the

space to come back to baseline. And you cannot always rush into fix their mood and make sure that we can restore their mood. Sometimes it takes time and you need to be patient with people until they come through, especially if it's a client who got angry at you because of something. And you immediately try to reconcile when all of it. need to be as just angry for now and then telling you what's going on and then you moving forward from it instead of rushing to fix everything right away. You want to fix it, but I think sometimes you also want to fix how someone feels about you. And sometimes you can't fix how people feel about you in the moment because they get to be angry and I'm not saying that you should be a dormant,

but there is a certain degree and level of anger and expression of anger and frustration that is allowed. I'm not saying that they get to yell or I'm not saying that they get to yell or I'm not saying that they get to unload their angry. I think that's a different scenario. But it's okay for them to feel a bit frustrated, feel a bit angry, and see if how you can just let that be for now and then try to recover the relationship later. So I'm not saying that you should allow them to be disrespectful or, you know, angry. I'm just saying that you cannot always fix someone's mood just because you don't like the way they're feeling right now. Do you understand the nuance here? It's not that you should let people yell.

It's more like, okay, you can always be respectful even when you're angry, but I'm saying that you sometimes cannot fix their mood immediately. You just have to let them be. Does that make sense? All right. Let's look at the avoidant books in the light of feedback. So what's interesting to me with avoidant people in this scenario is that sometimes they just want to avoid the conversation altogether.

So it's hard to catch them. it's hard to be like, okay, let's just talk through this thing. And if you can catch them on a conversation, they sometimes shut down. So instead of you telling them the feedback or what happened and seek to them move forward the working relationship, they can just shut down and not hear what you're saying. And I'm sure you guys have experiences before when you just can seem to get through to someone because whenever you try, they just have these defenses up and they can. cannot just calmly listen to you and actually taking the information that you're trying to

relate to them, but they just turn to either avoid you, shut down, or they get defensive and also passive-aggressive. So as you can see, while anxious people, they collapse into themselves and try to fix immediately and take everything personally, avoidance, they shut down, they are hard to have conversations with, and they can sometimes get just passive-aggressive. instead of healing what you're saying and trying to adjust moving forward, whatever it is that you're telling them to do, right? It's always good to take that into account that these people tend to shut down.

More on the avoidant spectrum when it comes to getting a receiving feedback is that you tend to think that the relationship is over. And it's not like the anxious people who are like, oh, they're going to fire me. It's more like, oh, I have to fire. them. So instead of leaning into the difficulty and trying to find a resolution and understanding to improve in the light of feedback, you tend to be like, oh, guess then I have to fire them. That was it, right? So you tend to kind of over-dramatize and kind of detach like, oh, well, then they don't like me. I guess this is all there is, right? So I think that's something you can learn to not do. You don't have to

fire clients immediately when something is coming up you can sit through those feedbacks and learn from them calmly without you having to shut down okay let us examine the secure way of receiving feedback the first very important trait of you being secure when you're receiving feedback is that you ask clarifying questions to understand what it is that they really mean so don't take a person don't think that they're going to fire you. Don't fire them. So qualifying questions can be like, what happened? Let me know. What's going on? Can you help me understand? It's a really good one that you can use in terms of looking for clarity if you want to. And another one is that they're able to emotionally regulate before they respond. So whenever you're getting feedback from someone,

you're able to then first sit, hear it, ask clarifying questions, and before you respond, you're able to kind of regulate yourself. So I'm not responding from self-rageous energy like devoidance do, or not at all, shut down, or you don't respond from anxious energy, which is I'm so, so sorry, and you start crying, but you respond from groundedness, you respond, I always like a thing like this is like detective mentality that let me investigate. Let me understand. Let me see what you mean. Oh, I see what you mean. Right. And even if the feedback is unfounded and you feel like, oh, okay, I understand what you mean, but really it was this, right?

So I'm not saying that this is defensive. It's like I understand what you're saying and I disagree. And here's why. That can also be the case. But still, you're not coming from a defensive place. You're coming from, okay, now I understood what you're saying. Here's what I think. And I think that's different, right? That's very secure to me when you're able to ask clarifying questions and you're able to regulate yourself before you respond back. Another sign that you're secure when it comes to feedbacks and mistakes is that you're able to take responsibility for your part without collapsing. So this means that if someone tells you, hey, Domi, you fucked up that campaign because you put the wrong link for the webinar that happened actually. I can say, well, oh, I did fuck up the thing. I see how I did that. Yeah.

And that was me, right? Instead of blame shifting, instead of trying to look for a scapegoat, instead of be like, oh, I didn't do that. It's the most trivial thing that you would assume that most people understand this when you actually have your sticky fingers into something and you mess up, that you admit, oh, I actually, yeah, wow, yeah, you're right. I did that. Let me fix it. Let me see what can I do about it. I think that to me is like EQ 101, but most people, they don't take responsibility. They're like, no, it wasn't me, or no, it was because of this. Like, they started to blame shift, scapegoat, something, there's something, something, then instead of just being, yeah, I did do that.

Let me tell you guys, one of my most embarrassing email mishaps. I have sent hundreds of participants an email saying, hey, Domi, because I messed up the tag. Instead of using the username of the first name of the person in the list, it used my first name. And guys, the opening rate was like 75%. And people started responding, I'm not Domi. Why are you telling me I'm Domi? And when I saw it, I thought to myself, oh, my God, this is, wow. I can't believe I didn't pay attention to that.

You know how many times it happened only once? Because I caught it. I let the client know, like, hey, I messed this up. But I know why. And here's how it's never going to happen. And the client said, it's fine. Just make sure it won't happen again. And if you want, you can send them an email and say, oops, we messed up, right?

That can happen too. But I'm not going to say, well, someone else did that. Oh, I was, you know, overwhelmed work, tired. You know, like, I could just take responsibility and be like, yeah, that was a colossal fuck up there. I have all myself to blame for it. But you know what? This was only happening once and it won't ever happen again. And you can be sure of that.

So I think that's a secure way of responding. It's not that I'm collapsing into myself. I'm not blaming. I'm taking responsibility. And maybe that's the final point here. I'm taking responsibility and I'm offering to repair the relationship, the situation. So I don't have time to dwell because I'm busy fixing it. I don't have time to collapse and cry.

I don't have time to disassociate and shut down because I'm busy fixing it in the moment. So that's how you receive feedback. All right, you guys, I hope that was helpful. I may have exaggerated a little bit, but these type of things, they happen all the time. And now you know how to respond secure way, right? So what I like to say is you might have some reflexes, but you can always steer the ship back to baseline and secure instead of getting reactive.

I think if you take away anything from this video, it should be all that. Like, okay, we're not perfect. We will make mistakes. Feedbacks are always welcome. That's how we grow and improve. Thank you for the feedback. Thank you for having.

a relationship. Look how you're having a relationship with someone where they believe that they can even tell you feedback because there are some leaders that are so intimidating that no one even dares to tell them any feedback. So it means that you're not so intimidating in the way you are with your clients, but feedback is how we can improve. So I hope this was helpful. We are going to go deeper inside of this in human to human, especially around repair because I feel like repair is deep issue and we're going to go deeper into this topic. We have an entire module that's all around repair in human to human. If you are interested in taking the program, it's all about how to become invaluable in every business organization you touch as a service provider.

And it's all about developing secure ways of being and leading yourself and others and basic emotional intelligence that you can then use to be absolutely invaluable in business. The wait list is open for the program. I'm going to put the link in the description of this video. If you're interested in that, I'll let you know when we start, but the wait list is something that you can sign up for now. And then whenever we launch, you will be there first to know. Thank you so much for watching and listening to this one. Good luck.