Omnichannel - When People Don’t Make Sense: Understanding Perception Mismatches

Episode Date: January 21, 2026

Send us a textMany times, we misunderstand people because, according to our perspective, their behavior does not make sense.Or we read meaning into something that is not always the reality.How two people can both be right—and still clashMisunderstandings are often signals of a blueprint mismatch, not bad characterThis episode is an invitation to shift from judgment to curiosity, and from forcing alignment to building relational intelligence.In this episode, you’ll explore:What relational blueprints are and how they shape perceptionWhy “good intentions” don’t always land as intendedHow blueprint mismatches show up in business, sales, and leadershipThe power of understanding without agreeingWant to go deeper? This work is explored in depth inside The Art of Reapproach, starting February 1st. Live delivery, lifetime access, and evolving module.https://www.dominikalegrand.com/art-of-the-approachJoin the Art of The Approach here: https://www.dominikalegrand.com/art-of-the-approach

Hello, my dearest entrepreneur friends. Welcome back to another episode. I'm currently chilling on the couch in the living room. And this intro I'm recording for you after I recorded the episode this morning. So I started to riff on my phone this morning. And I just wanted to make sure we have some sort of an introduction before we jump into the topic of today's episode. Today we're going to talk about relational blueprint mismatches. And, And you will understand what that means in the context of business. And we're going to also touch interpersonal relationships so I can really bring this point home. So if you ever felt like I don't get this person or this makes no sense, and how do you shift your perspective in order for you to be able to navigate these situations better? So that's today's topic. We operate on our own blueprints. and that's how we perceive the world, that's how we see things, that's what is essentially our own view of perceiving things. And because we operate on our own blueprint, we kind of make things

up in our head like what's right and what's wrong. And it's especially difficult when the blueprint has distortions, right? So psychologically, we have maladaptive schemas, we have distortions around what things mean and we are kind of under those distortions or overcompensating them or avoiding them and we're not even aware of that's what's happening so we have our own relational blueprints of what is good what is bad what is right what's wrong for example in my family my grandma qualifies you as a good husband if you are out in the fields if you are working all the time if you're helping her around the house if you're eager and you basically do whatever she says and you don't drink and you don't hit her then you are a perfect husband if you want to be a perfect granddaughter you go into church with her you pray with her you listen to her

you're kind and giving to her then she she feels like okay you're a good one if you don't go to church if you don't pray oh well suddenly you're not so good anymore and you could argue that you can just have different views and you can just be a different person. It doesn't make you good or bad. It's just in their eyes. That's what a good person does. And everyone has their own blueprint on every fucking thing. Like whether it's in the business transaction, like how one business transaction should look like, how business relating should look like, how relationship upkeep maintenance should look like how sales, how fulfillment, how everything should look like. And they view and act and move according to that perception.

And the thing is that most of the times, what we don't realize is that our perception is not everyone else's perception. Our blueprint is not everyone else's blueprint. And many times, our blueprints are complete opposites of someone else's blueprints. So if only I'm doing, it's looking you through my own blueprint lens. I might not like what I see. And if that's all. I believe that it is about you. And I'm jumping into conclusions about your character of who you are

based on my perception and my blueprint applied to you. It's not the whole picture. So I'm going to give you a business example. You're someone who is a very giving, serving coach. And you just love to connect with people. And you have things you're offering with your heart. and you feel like this like, you know, I have to show them I care. And the way I show them my care is by checking in, it's by going in and like, hey, how are you? How is everything? That's how I show my care. I let them know, hey, by the way, if you want to come, they have this thing.

And I think this could be good for you. It comes from a genuine place, right? That's how you think because that's what you would want people to do to you. While the other person on the receiving end is a very independent thinking person. And they think to themselves, okay, you know what, if I want something, I know I want something, and I go get it. If I want to buy something from you, I'll reach out, and I'm going to ask exactly for the one I want to buy, and I'll buy it. So other than that, I'd like to be left alone. I know if I want to come, I'll come. I can make a decision by myself. I don't need you to be like

guardianing me. I can get there by myself. No thank you. I don't need this. And imagine if you are like thinking, oh, I'm just showing that I care. I'm showing that I care that a person is, like, you're annoying me. Who's right? Who's wrong? The truth is, they're both right. They're both right. The person is right, thinking that I'm going to show care and I'm going to show up proactively and just check in and whatnot. The other person is right thinking, hey, you know what? I need space. I can make my own decisions. No, thank you. I don't need this to happen. And the fact that you keep doing this actually pushes me further away from you, rather than closer to you. And that happens in so many different scenarios in business and also in interpersonal relationships.

What the deeper issue is, is that when we use our own blueprints with people, to stay connected with people, to navigate these relationships with people, very often it becomes definition of what a good friend is like, definition of what a good client is like, definition, what is a good salesperson is like, definition of what a good marketing person is like definition of whatever and we have our definitions and a lot of the times the person on the other side has their own definitions and when we are trying to force our definition to the other person is when things break instead of wanting to understand what their definition is and adjusting to that definition wanting to understand the other person and adjusting that definition is not easy

because then it requires you to literally build a brand new blueprint of relating, of selling, of serving. That is custom made for the other person. And that takes work. But if you managed to do that, you suddenly became a, I thank you so much. You make everything so easy. I feel so seen and understood by you type of person. So I think the difficulty is that, first of all, you have to have awareness of what blueprint are you operating from. And I think that awareness itself is a ton of work because then this means that you're able to see yourself, like you have a level of self-awareness. My voice is getting raspy, guys.

That is not normal because you know yourself, you see yourself, you see behind your own behaviors, you constantly reflect on yourself. and how you see and perceive, have to take a water break. You also have to be aware that that awareness is not universal, that there are things you don't perceive that are there. And then your job becomes like, okay, what am I missing? What am I missing? What am I missing?

And I think what I have found is that I think most people make sense. So when behaviors don't make sense, that makes me curious. Because I want to understand why this doesn't make sense to me. Like instead of looking at the behavior of someone and and thinking through my own blueprint and going, well, this one is a moron, Jesus Christ, get me out of here. Instead of jumping into conclusions based on those, you're able to think like, okay, you know what, this doesn't make sense to me. To me, this behavior does not make sense.

Why? And then, okay, then I'm looking. looking at the wrong blueprint. I need to look for the blueprint that that person has. And when I go and do that, suddenly things start to make sense. And it doesn't matter in what situation. I have used it so many times. I had the conflicts I had to resolve with team members of clients and interpersonal issues. And, and misunderstandings and just developing the ability of like, okay, misunderstanding, I don't get this. This makes no sense.

Like, if I feel those things and think those things, immediately it flags a blueprint mismatch trigger. Like, okay, let me investigate this one because I would have done this if I was their shoes, but this is not what they're doing. Why? And understanding their point of view and seeing through their lens, like, oh, now I know this makes perfect sense.

Huh. But I think the thing is that this requires effort, guys. Like, if you think, like, how do I navigate this? How do I navigate people? It's by knowing yourself and also recognizing that your perception is not universal. is that every time that things make no sense, it's a cue. And I'm literally training my brain to constantly, like, whenever it's flagging,

huh, it immediately goes, why, why, why, why? Until I get them. And I'm like, okay, I get you. And it doesn't mean that once I get them, that I agree with them, I abandon my own blueprint and yours is the universal one. No, it means that I get you. Therefore, I can meet you where you are. Therefore, I see through your lens. But also, that's not how I do things. And kind of resolve whatever that is that I created. Tension, conflict, misunderstanding. But it doesn't mean I agree with you. It means I understand you.

And with that understanding, I can navigate this better. Because now what I have is clarity. And clarity is something I love. Don't mind me. I can sit in ambiguity for a very long time. But the orientation is always towards clarity. Because when I see clear, like when I have all the data points of a person or a situation, of a difference in styles, that's the most rewarding thing to my brain can ever be.

because now I'm like vantage point achieved, clarity achieved. And through all of that, I can make a decision. I can think, okay. Now I get it. This makes sense. I can make a decision based on all of the data points I have. So I seek clarity so I can make a better decision, how I'm going to move forward here.

And without it, I would be rehearsed. hurting people, I would be, like, there would be misunderstandings. But now it got better and easier because of that. And here's the thing, like, I don't think both of you have to be meeting halfway. Because this is one of the things that I understood as well. Like, sometimes you can meet them and be like, I get you, and they don't come towards you the same way. But it doesn't matter if they come or not. What matters is you get them. So you understand it, you can. You can navigate the situation better. What I have realized is that most of the times

they do voluntarily. Because then suddenly defensiveness drops. Now that you came to get me, let me, let me meet you halfway. So naturally, they would want to come with you halfway. not all the time and not everyone can meet you halfway some people just they don't have the willingness capacity interest desire like that's okay they don't have to have it all i know is that i know is that i have to know what type of perceptions i'm dealing with so i can navigate that better okay so i know this this was a random morning riff I'm going to my improv class right now. I'm just recording on my phone.

Hopefully it's not too bad for you guys. But I wanted to share this because this is so important for me to share. We will go deeper on how to recognize perception differences and meet people where they are inside of the outer approach. We start February 1st. This program is going to be delivered live. you will have Lifetime accent. You can watch the recordings if you can't make it live. Currently, it's priced at $47 and it's an evolving program which means that every time there will be new modules. They will be published inside of this group. So what happens is that I'm going to put a link in the description of this episode.

You can register there and then you receive an email with the information on how to find our private group. and then basically everything will happen in there okay so link below if you want to join and deepen this work and thank you so much for listening to this one i'll see you guys very soon i need to get going bye guys