Omnichannel - When Understanding People Reaches a Threshold (And What to do with it?)

Episode Date: March 23, 2026

Send us Fan MailIf you are like me, you may find great pleasure in understanding the world and the people in it.Why are things the way they are?Why does someone behave the way they behave?And while that insatiable curiosity to understand, even though it is filled by a need to connect with someone, to give them goodwill by default, it can sometimes feel one-sided.Then you might start to wonder: is it just me who puts in the effort to understand the other person?Why can't they meet me there? And what happens when you hit a threshold of understanding someone else?Should this be one-sided forever?These are the questions we are answering in this episode.You can join Empathy As We Know It here:https://www.dominikalegrand.com/empathy-as-we-know-itJoin Empathy as We Know it: https://www.dominikalegrand.com/empathy-as-we-know-it

Hello and welcome to another episode of the Only Channel podcast. This one is audio only. This is one of those early, not so early morning alone thinking times. And I want to grab this moment to think out loud. I am pleased to say that I have some chocolate milk with whipped cream in my system. So this should go well. Brain sugar part is done. Now this morning, I woke up thinking about this one question, and I'm not sure if you ever thought about this way, but I always had a curiosity towards life, towards humans, like why things are the way they are, why the sky is blue, why the ocean changes colors, why people behave the way they behave, and that curiosity is infinite.

And that curiosity has been consistently allowed me to want to understand. To have an orientation to life, which is an orientation of wanting to understand. And with that came a lot of understanding because, well, newsflash, if you want to understand things and life, then you would develop competence to perceive better, to see better. And in terms of humans, that was psychology to me, just understanding, learning, recognizing patterns, understanding some more, people not making sense and then wanting to see why. And then that came to a very high level of understanding of humans, not to flatten them to patterns, but to have enough so that I can be like, okay, this makes sense, I know exactly why you did that,

makes sense. Now, I always thought about this as an orientation to life, right? Like I said before, but this also came with its flip side. And that flip side was a flip side of resentment. A flip side of resentment in, okay, I understand you. Why can't you understand me? Okay, I take the time to perceive you. Why can't you take the time to accurately perceive me? Okay, I slowed down so I don't judge. Why can't you slow down to don't, do not judge me? And it also felt sometimes a burden of like, okay, I get it. Why can't they get it? Why can't they take the time? And I think it's everywhere, you know, from a client relationship and business to more interpersonal situations. I found myself chronically understanding everyone and not feeling understood by them. As if you are extending

this olive branch of like, I get it, I immediately, it became a reflex to me. So I collapsed time around understanding people because now it's like, okay, I don't get it. Why? And then let's see, oh, I get it now. Okay. That makes sense. And once I see things from their perspective, I sometimes think to myself, oh my God, if that's what you thought of the situation, that's terrible, okay? I get it. Like, I don't want you to feel that way. But at the same time, the question that started to emerge in me, besides why can't they understand me? Why am I always the one? Was also the question of, okay, so can I ever get sad, mad, hurt, angry? Because when you are in such quick, fast, time-collapsing way of understanding others, what ends up happening

is your human side sometimes feels invalidated. Like when you're like, okay, I get it. Yeah, okay, I can be mad. You know, it can't be mad because, you know, and so you start neglecting that side of you that felt hurt by something, even if you understand their side and you can deeply empathize with their side, it became this like, okay, but like, can I even be mad here? Can I even let myself to be just angry for a bit and not just always be the one who's like, okay, okay, empathy, here we go. I get it. I get it. You know, can that side exist still? Human side exist still in the face off, I get you.

And if you ever find yourself in similar situations when you thought to yourself, okay, I have so much compassion. I take the time to understand people. I try not to judge their behaviors because that used to be me. I used to be very judging with people. Like, okay, you're an idiot. That's a, you're a moron. Like, that was me.

I remember working at my first campaign for another company and just calling clients morons behind your backs. like they are morons right and that felt like this like superior energy of like oh my god they're just idiots and it feels good sometimes to say that and maybe they were acting like once right but then it came with this like okay girl like you're very sharp with your tongue but can you actually slow down to look for what is really there and not judge them immediately and i think that wanting to understand people so spiritually was the other side over that same spectrum like you swing the pendulum to the other side and now you say okay i used to call people morons now let me understand you

that's the other side because when you are in deep understanding even though this is a this is a better orientation you might just override your own human feelings and emotions and you might develop this thing called resentment that i just said like why can't they do this for me. Why can't they? Why is it just always me? Now, I think the answer is somewhere in between the middle. And if you are feeling something like that, feeling like, okay, I try not to label people, I try to understand that with humility that there are things I don't know for certain. There are a complex situation, there are different contexts of life. When have I been misjudging people too fast without seeing them accurately or observing them for a while or really truly seeing their

patterns. Why have I been judging too fast, right? But if all you do is understand and you never feel understood, then you might start feeling resentment like I did. So where is it? Where is the middle ground here? And when I ask myself this question, like, can I get to be just sad, mad, angry? The answer is yes, you get to be.

And it's good that you are sad, mad, angry, because that means you're human and then you're not self-raising, you're experiencing those emotions, you're crying about them, you're grieving things, you are tending to the human side of you that being hurt. But at the same time, when you're done, you can get out from your own way and be like, okay, now that I've dealt with this, let me try to understand you. And here's something else I wanted to add here. And that's another layer. You know, I just had this conversation with my friend the other day. And somehow we were just talking about this thing where we said, okay, you know, it just seems like people are stagnating. They are looping.

They're just, they can't grow. Meanwhile, me and her are constantly trying to evolve and grow. And constantly trying to see where can I learn more? where is in deeper layer? How can we serve humans, not just ourselves? Like, how can we show up for others? Like, how can we be courageous in service of other people? Why is it that some people are just, like, constantly growing?

And we talked about how people are sometimes conversational flowcharts. Have we not heard the story before? Like, yeah, here we go. You know, here goes mom repeating the same story again. Not even thinking, have I told you guys this? you know like how people have their loops and they're in their own thinking and they don't or they can't see out of it sometimes or they maybe never will and i remember just like arriving to a conclusion with her there was this video i sent about this british guy and he talks about how he's starting his day

with a strawberry yogurt and he said like well this is how i start my day things can only escalate from here and you know what? Maybe tonight I watch a movie and maybe tomorrow I go by some door handles and maybe I hover upstairs and yeah, that's it. And it's hilarious to me, but it's also hilarious and also very simple. And it made me think about like, how is it? And this was something that took me the longest time to understand. Like how is it that for some people, simple is okay and some people growth is where they feel alive. And here's something I noticed. I don't think it's either of, either it's bad or good. It's just different. And can we accept that there are different orientations to life? And can we accept that it's not how we see the world and that's okay? We don't have to

like it. It can not be our preferences, but can we just meet on what really matters? Because at the end of the day we're all trying to just be happy and fulfilled in our own ways of life. And perhaps understanding also comes with the recognition of how do I accept people for who they are, even if it's different from how I see the world. But how can I accept that there are different realities in which some people will understand you and some people won't even take the time to do so. And I was sitting in this mountain of like, okay, I get everyone, I invest time to understand. I immediately know where the need is. Where is the unmeted need? I asked myself, okay, what do they need? What do they need? Can I genuinely meet that need? Or do I not feel like meeting that need?

Can I be upset for once, right? And I thought of it really, truly. And what came to mind was some of this thing that this priest said in one of his speeches. And I don't want to bring religion too much into the conversation. But what the story was is that recognizing that you are the type of person who sees in the world that cannot see is okay. And also recognizing that you can see and they won't ever see and that's okay too. So you know, you know better. You see it through. You understand them. They don't have to meet you there in understandings for you to know what you're seeing, how to respond to there has to be no reciprocation of understanding for you to understand and see clearly you can allow people to just be whether they are wanting to one day change their minds and grow or they don't

whether they have openness to one day orient to understand you more or they don't and the question then became to me is that if all of that is true, I can accept people for whatever level of understanding they have or don't have or want to or don't even recognize that there is a world beyond their own perception because that's that kind of seeing is not for everyone and it's not because of any superiority complex it's just that that kind of seeing is not for everyone and maybe they won they will or they won't but the fact that at least you do gives you the chance to then get them and then meet them at where you want to meet them in terms of your understanding of them. Here's something I noticed as well and this was something I talked about in my latest episode

you might be seeing it this week and that is how many times I experienced this from my family that I don't think they genuinely understand me and I don't think they ever will and it doesn't stop them from loving me. It doesn't stop them from caring for me. It doesn't stop them from being happy when they see me. It doesn't stop them from genuinely being excited that I'm around again. And they might just bang their head into the wall thinking, this girl, I have no idea. I've no idea where she gets her confidence from. I have no idea where her dreams are insane to me. and it's not how I value life. To me, life is about something else.

But I still love her. Can we meet at that level of understanding? At least I might not ever get her. But I love her. I might not ever get this person, but I love them. I might not ever truly fully see their blueprints, what they're operating. I might not ever get to.

They make sense. Or when I think they make sense, somehow I recognize that there's another layer that I haven't even seen. And now it's like, okay, let me think about my own perception of you. Let me update the model so that it's accurate again. And with all of that, if our understanding is to get closer to them, can we question that, what if I don't get you, but I still love you?

Wouldn't that be a more unconditional way of relating? Like, I don't quite fully get you, but I have goodwill for you. I don't quite understand why you do this, but hey, I trust you're a good person. And you have your reasons. I can never fully get around this thing. But hey, it's fine. I love you. Either way. It's like the shower thing, like taking morning or evening showers. This is the biggest debate. Like, I never fully understand it. Like, guys, why? Why would you take a morning shower? You go to bed, dirty? Like, what is that? How does that? It doesn't. But like, okay, I mean, I get that's a preference. And I'm like, okay. It doesn't really change how I relate to someone. So these are the questions I have been contemplating myself, and I invite you to do the same if you're listening to this one.

Empathy as we know it starts April 15. It's a program in which we're going to explore different ways of empathy. How do we cultivate it better? How do we become someone that is a place where truth can land? That's the question we ask, can truth land here? That we're going to explore that whole question. in deeper realms. You understand what it means, how we change our orientation to people through that question, how we show up in leadership, in the way we are with clients, in the way we are

with our teams, in the way we are with the people who matter to us. And you will see how this all shapes together. So if this is something you would want to explore, you can come in for empathy as we know it. It's $47 for the program. It's going to be delivered live. You will have full-time access. I'm going to put a link in the description of this episode for you to discover. If this is something that you feel pulled into, this program is changing my life right now. So, you're going there. If this makes sense, love to see you there too. All right, you guys. Take care.