Omnichannel - Why Congruence Builds Trust (And Incongruence Breaks It)

Episode Date: January 29, 2026

Send us a textYou know how people say certain things, but you can tell that underneath, they mean something else?That subtle disconnect is often a sign of incongruence, and it deeply affects how we perceive others, whether we trust them, and how safe their words feel.In this episode, we talk about congruence as it relates to business: why it matters, how it shows up in everyday interactions, and how true congruence becomes the foundation of trust.Basically when your innie is matching your outie.You can register for the Art of the Approach here.https://www.dominikalegrand.com/art-of-the-approachJoin the Art of The Approach here: https://www.dominikalegrand.com/art-of-the-approach

Hello, my dear entrepreneur friends. Welcome back to another episode. Today we are doing another audio only. I just wanted to come here and talk to you about something that I personally love and it took me a while to learn, especially in business. And I've been talking for a good one and a half hours just before this recording and I don't have much voice left. This is one of those times when I'm kind of winding down, back. back in bed, but like still buzzing from the output energy, you know, that's where we are. So I wanted to talk about congruence today and what is congruence really and especially how it shows up in business. So congruence to me is when your inner and outer expressions are matching. So when you are congruent essentially is when whatever you feel on the inside is exactly what you are broadcasting on the outside. So the very first person who worked with congruence to extensive levels was called Carl Rogers.

And I didn't know about his work, actually. I just knew that that was important to me. And after that, Chad JPD told me, like, by the way, Carl Rogers worked with congruence as well. But the way he was dealing with congruence and teaching congruence was very specific. and it was related to how when he is with patients, because he was a psychologist, and so every time he had a patient that he didn't like, what he knows is that if you pretend you like a patient, even though you don't like them,

it's actually not going to be beneficial for them. So if you don't like a patient, don't pretend you like them, but you can still be respectful and tell them, hey, I think you should find another therapist, I'm not a match for you. So when we are feeling something inside and we are also broadcasting that to the outside, we are congruent. Like, you can still be congruent and not say the truth, especially if that means that in that scenario, it's better to not say the truth.

But if you are incongruent, it means that you are essentially not living in truth of what is true for you. And one of the things and one of the reason why I think congruence itself is insidious is because many times, I think two scenarios can happen. First of all, you don't know how you truly feel about something. And then on the outside, it comes out sideways, it comes out passive-aggressive and people are like, what the hell, where is this even coming from? So whenever we are congruent, what is important is that we recognize and we have awareness how we feel about something and I think some people they genuinely don't know how they feel about something so that's where trouble begins because like how can I stay congruent when I don't even know how I feel about something or someone or a situation right and or the

second scenario they know exactly how they feel about someone or something or a situation but they're trying to kind of maintain peace and so that they kind of pretend, oh, no, it's fine. It's all good. No, you're great. I like this. You know, because they kind of want to people please or keep social harmony. And that's understandable as well. And I think the key here in terms of congruence, if that is important to you, I know it is important to me. But the key is, is to recognize that, first of all, what's going on inside of you, like how you feel about something, and bring that into your awareness. Because 50% of congruence is awareness. Because if I'm aware how I feel about something or someone or a situation, that is a huge win because it means that I allow myself to feel a

certain way about something without shaming how I feel about something. So this was a very specific I watched like an old black and white video of Carl Lodger's talking to patients. And there was a mother who said, actually, sometimes I hate my child. And she was so ashamed to even say it out loud that sometimes I hate my child. You know, I'm like, if you think about it, like how crazy that is, even though it's true, right? But if you think about awareness and sometimes that's how you feel and you let yourself feel that way and you let that be in your awareness without judging it, without making stories about it, without making up narratives about it, without making it mean anything about you and who you are and your character or whether or not you're a good parent, it can just exist as information. and sometimes if you allow yourself to feel that way and acknowledge that and have that in your awareness, now you can decide on the outside what you're going to do about it.

And I think that's why I said, like, if you have awareness about how you feel about something or someone in a situation, that is massively helpful because now you're no longer shaming whatever it's coming up for you. and you're able to then work with what you're going to do on the outside. Okay? And here's what is important. So when we are talking about inner and outer congruence, it doesn't mean that if you genuinely hate someone that you should just tell them,

by the way, I feel this intense hatred towards you. And so I'm just letting you know because I'm being congruent and truthful here. That's not what we mean, especially not in business, guys. like especially not them when we don't like something or someone. We cannot say that, obviously. And I believe there are some people who take this to the extreme because they're like, I'm just owning myself that kind of take it or leave it type of vibe. I'm just like so myself.

I don't care to filter. You know, swinging the pendulum to the outer direction to the extreme. Because I think that can be sometimes very rude. And that behavior can sometimes be. not okay. How is that serving anyone? Like, I'm so happy that you are congruent with yourself, but then still it's not coming out in a way you might have intended and it might be detrimental to your interpersonal relationships or business relationships, right? So we're not talking about you should fake it. Like, that's the thing. We're not faking anything,

but we're not swinging the pendulum to the other way and say, you know what? I'm just congruent. You can't take it? Too bad. I'm just bad. I'm just being truthful, you know, and making it into a statement. But what I mean here is, is there is calibration and modulation, okay? So calibration and modulation, what are the differences? Calibration is when I'm able to attune to the reality of the other person and I'm able to modulate my behavior according to the situation or the person itself. So, if I'm a congruent therapist, let's give that example, and I'm Carl Rogers, and I'm preaching congruents,

so my mind is well embodied, and I have a patient that I don't like, or actually I really, really hate. And since I'm a therapist and they booked an appointment, I'm like, oh my God, what am I going to do with you? So I'm going to be congruent here, and I'm going to say, first of all, I'm going to feel like Jesus Christ, I hate this patient, and I'm going to let myself feel that and that's going to come to my awareness that I don't like this patient, I really, really don't.

And so what will happen on the outside is that I'm just going to calibrate and modulate and say, hey, I think we're not a match and I think you would be better off with a different therapist. And then I wish you the best of luck in your healing journey. So in that scenario, what happened? I'm able to modulate my behavior to fit the situation or the circumstance or the person and calibrate my response that is respectful to them. So when I'm congruent, I'm not an asshole. When I'm congruent, I'm not pretending.

When I'm congruent, I can recognize how I feel about something and I can let that expression to be broadcasted outwards in a way that is still respectful. that is congruence with modulation and calibration. So when we live congruently, I think that's a pretty magnetic way to be. And also, I think that gives people safety about us. Because when we have that quality internalized

and we can recognize how we feel about something and we can modulate our responses and calibrate it to the person and the situation, This means that we are a very trustworthy people because then when there's no doubt that what you're saying is what you mean. And if you may be saying something that I don't like, at least I trust that you're expressing that in a way that is not going to rupture anything. And because it doesn't rupture anything, you can just express what you want and you can stay congruent with yourself and the situation. Does it make sense? So I think congruence is important and I think congruence to me comes out in so many different scenarios.

And we will discuss more about this because being congruent is one-on-one in the ethos of the human-to-human body of work that I'm building. But also, out of your approach, congruence is state one-on-one, you've got to be congruent and understand how to be remaining congruent. Even sometimes you just don't feel like being congruent because it will be a lot of work. And it would be easier to just be like, don't bother, it's okay, no problem, it's fine. Like, nope, I'm good, you know.

Wouldn't that be easier to sometimes just be like, whatever? Like, do I want to start conflict here? Like, no, it's not about that. It's about respecting and honoring yourself in a way that is happening inside of you and you're broadcasting it in a way that's modulated to the outside world. And what I noticed is that it comes out in like tiny, tiny ways.

So it can be like a preference for something that we start stating and then we recognize that nothing broke when we did that. And the more and more you keep staying, congruent and the more and more evidence you get that nope no one exploded all good no one fired you nothing broke then then you recognize like holy shit this congruent thing is actually working i can just be myself in a way you know like i can i can recognize how i feel and and that that's okay to to say that outside sometimes in a way that makes sense of course

But you're not self-betraying, you're not people-pleasing, you're not minimizing, you are just congruent. And I think people trust congruent people as well. Because there's no hidden surprises, there's no passive aggression, there's no things that come out sideways. You know, that sometimes things come out sideways. Okay? So that's the congruence work and it's fascinating on its own, but congruence is very important

when it comes to approaching people, when it comes to inviting people, that's baseline. So, out of the approach is starting February 1st, currently priced at $47. So if you want to come in at this price, you can still do that before we get started. Once you register, you will receive an email that will give you access to the Facebook group in which the program will be delivered. And you will have lifetime access. If you can't make it live, that's okay. I will be leaving the replays for you

so you can watch it whenever you want to. Thanks so much for listening to this one and I'm going to go and edit this one. And then probably after that, just take a big bubble bath and just chill. Thank you guys for being here and I'll see you guys right soon.