Omnichannel - Why You Can’t Fully Understand People (And Why That’s Okay)

Episode Date: March 27, 2026

Send us Fan MailJoin Empathy As We Know It: https://www.dominikalegrand.com/empat...Are you trying to understand people… but still feel like you’re missing something?In this video, we explore a deeper truth about empathy, human behavior, and communication:You can never fully understand someone, and that’s not a failure.Most people enter conversations with assumptions, hidden agendas, or unconscious needs. We try to predict others, read between the lines, and “figure them out.” But real empathy doesn’t come from certainty—it comes from curiosity, humility, and presence.You’ll learn:Why you can’t fully understand another personThe hidden patterns behind conversationsHow assumptions block connectionWhat real empathy actually looks likeHow to meet people where they are (without forcing outcomes)Why “not knowing” is a strength, not a weaknessThis is especially powerful if you’re:An entrepreneur having client conversationsNavigating relationships or communication challengesInterested in psychology, self-awareness, and emotional intelligenceThe goal isn’t to “figure people out.”It’s to create space where they feel understood.#empathy #communicationskills #emotionalintelligence #humanbehavior #selfawareness #psychology #relationships #mindsetJoin Empathy as We Know it: https://www.dominikalegrand.com/empathy-as-we-know-it

Hello, my dearest entrepreneur friends, welcome back to another video. Now, I want to talk today about understanding humans. And one of the most important things that we learn is that is our core orientation in empathy as we know it, is an understanding in which we want to meet people where they are. And many times what I have noticed is that when people are in conversations with you, Sometimes they are conversations with you because they want to drag you to their own timelines. They are in conversations with you because they want to guide you to their outcome, not necessarily yours.

Sometimes they are in conversation with you because they want to prove their own convictions and to be right and then they want to show you how they are right. Sometimes they are in conversations with you because they are just broadcasting and they are in conversations with you because they have subconscious unmet needs in which you serve as a regulator. And you may or may not sign up for that role, but that's kind of the role that you get casted. Now, one of the things I advocate for is to have awareness of our needs and desires. And this is something we tackled in the art of the approach more extensively. And the reason why we did that is because I believe when we are outreaching to someone,

we are entering into a conversation, there are needs and desires that we both have, right? And when it comes to having awareness of what they are, it also helps us shape our intentions in the conversation so it doesn't come out sideways, right? So many times when we have someone reaching out and they seemingly, they want this one thing, but you recognize it's actually this other thing, but they might not be cognizant of that. How many times you were in a conversation with someone or someone reached out to you

and you kind of see the patterns before they arrive. So most of the times, by the way, people approach us. We kind of already know the script, right? They say this, but what they really mean is this and then you respond and then you're right, right? So many times what happens is that it's like a flow chart. Like people are running a mental flow chart

when they are in conversations with you or they are running a script and not like necessarily like a strategic script but a script of I say this, you say that, I say this, you say that. And like, okay, well. And then if you have been in business for a while, you're like, I already know what you want, right?

So you are in this mentality of like, yo, so you're going to say that but I actually know what you really mean is this. And so like I let me just. there. I know exactly what you wanted, right? And I don't know why. I think it's like a social conditioning that we play these games where like, no, I'm just checking in. Oh, just making sure, you know, you see this. And we already know where it's leading. It's like, okay, this is leading there, this is leading there. And I, I, then many times we oft out and we're like, I know where

it is going to go. And I don't want to participate, you know? That's why in the art of the approach and you can still purchase by the way the art of the approach because we have all the replays available for you if you want to that's why in the art of the approach one of our most important principles is how do i arrive clean clean in a conversation meaning that i have awareness conscious awareness of my wants needs desires what do i want from this conversation to be i'm not ashamed of them i am at full awareness of them and recognizing that i might not be forcing it on to someone else implicitly so it doesn't come out sideways, right? So what I might needs are desires and intentions from this conversation,

having conscious awareness of that before I enter into a conversation. And then recognizing if the other person can receive me, right? So what is their context, their bandwidth? That's kind of where we adjust the modulate calibrate. That's some of the baseline teachings of the art of the approach. Now, where I want to go here is because we feel we can't predict outcome and like I said many people they don't know that there is a hidden desire and layer underneath because they're not maybe conscious of it and many times there is some predictability in the human

behavior right but in the human to human stance and in empathy as we know it we recognize that yes there are patterns and yes there are people with intentions they don't even know or yes there are unconscious needs and desires but we also recognize that our stance in people coming in conversations with us is to actually wanting to understand them. So I want to understand where you're coming from and I'm trying to suspend my judgments and my pattern recognition and all of that and thinking that I know exactly what will happen and see if I can just be present with what is without be like, okay, you're going to say this, I'm going to say this, like I'm going to want to play, right? So the difficulty about cultivating this is that I want to meet you where you are,

like help me understand you, help me orient you. It's a different stance of like I already know what you're going to say. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that, that, whatever. So I don't get ahead of you when we're having a conversation because I already know where this is going to go. And I'm really, really guilty of this and I'm trying to get better. I think we all have to be like, okay, can I suspend my judgment? And can I recognize that no matter what they say,

I'm smart enough to recognize that they might not understand that they have this need and can I focus on what their need is in the moment? So instead of saying all the crazy script and the pattern recognition kicks in and you're like, I know where this is going and you're like, yep, I was right. Can you suspend all of that and be like, okay, what really is the need here? And can I listen into that need for them? And if I can, then I become curious to want to understand them. There's nothing wrong with having a sense of actually wanting to understand people.

That's why I believe that this is still an orientation in which like help me orient, help me understand. to meet you where you are. That's still an orientation, but you also have to understand that in understanding humans, you have to recognize that you may not fully ever understand them. And this is where I want to kind of readjust my stance. Remember when I said that people are perfectly sensible creatures, they always make sense, and if they don't make sense, you're looking at the wrong blueprint. I still believe that to be true, because this also pre-assumes that I am the type of person who is willing to go as far as to look at the things from your perspective because my intention is to meet you where you are. I believe that to be true.

And what I also recognize, that no matter how hard I try to approximate what it could be like in your shoes, no matter how much I try to approximate who you are, who you could be, what I also have to be cognizant of is that I can never quite get there. I posted last this contemplation and in this contemplation I said all I know is that I don't know anything for certain and that's okay and in the description I said like when in doubt goodwill helps so this means that can I have an orientation of understanding when it comes to humans can that orientation of understanding be an orientation of help me I want to get into your shoes I want to see it from your point of view I'm willing to venture and put effort into understand from your point of you how things are

but can I recognize the limitations of that understanding and say you know what I can try to approximate as much as I can but I can never quite get there. There is no absolute clarity there is no absolute certainty because I'm not you at the end of the day unless I'm you I know how it feels to be you but I'm not you so and This comes back to, okay, well, if I never quite get there, I can have goodwill for you, no matter what. Right? So instead of jumping into conclusions, like, here we go, running the script again. And you can also say to yourself, like, okay, if that's the case, how much of me wanting to understand you until you make sense to me do I really need? Like, can I just have enough understanding

to advise you? Can I just have enough understanding to guide you? in the situation. Can I just have enough understand you to kind of discuss whether this makes sense to you? It's a service or product or something that you want to buy, right? Like if you are in the sales context. So you have to recognize that arriving into a certain degree of understanding someone in front of you is enough. Like you don't have to become them to understand them. There is just enough level of understanding. It helps you to be compassionate, empathetic, even this Even to be like, you know what, I get you, I don't quite agree, but I understand you. We are still an agreement of like, I know what it is, but I can still be like, okay, I don't agree.

And that's fine, right? So I don't have to become you to agree. I can still form an opinion. I can still guide. I can still help. I can still recognize if this makes sense and we can still uncover that together. But I can also say, but you know, I never quite know for sure because I'm not you. But I have goodwill for you.

Doesn't make sense. So I think this is almost like safety feature in empathy as we know it. It's almost like a safety feature that stops us from becoming too sure, too certain, to, I know that pattern, I know exactly, what don't you just see for yourself? Like, let me tell you all about you. That layer of all I know for certain is that I don't know anything for certain. And that's okay. And I think that's such a good safety net of humility to add to empathy as we know it.

That really makes me go like I want to name the program, empathy as we don't know it. Like empathy as we can approximate as much as we can, but we can never quite get there. I love that so much. Now let's move this to human realms, relationship realms. Here's something I noticed about my partner. What I've noticed about my partner is that many times,

and this is not a criticism, but many times I communicate in a way that he does not understand. And mind you, I really tried communicating in different ways. There is such an abstract way that how I express sometimes, and I speak in metal layers, and I see it so clearly, and I'm so shocked when people go like, I have no idea what you just said. But okay. And here's something I noticed about my partner, and many times he's like, he doesn't say this out loud, but I noticed that that is like, okay, Domi, I have no idea what you were just starting to tell me.

I have no idea, no clue, but I love you. That is literally his stance. Like, no clue what you're trying to say. I know that you're speaking in metaphors, metal layers, you're bringing in human psychology, behavior or therapy, schema therapy. Okay, personality theory, attachment styles. And like, I'm trying to convey something to him about our relationship. or like an observation where we could improve, for example.

And I could see him like I lost him. And he would now be like, I stopped paying attention a while ago. And I'm like, oh, okay. And many times it's literally like, I have no idea what you're saying, but I love you. I don't fully get you, but I love you. I don't agree with you quite all the time, but I care about you. If you ask my dad or my mom, they would probably say,

this one girl, she's living in Lala Dreamland. I have no idea where she has all this confidence from. And it's actually something my dad told me. He said, do me? I just feel like you're floating, like you're not walking on this earth. Like, I have no idea what you do. I have no idea where all this confidence is coming from. What I know is that I love you and I'm proud of you.

And what I know is that so far the things you're going to do, you're always done them. And I see that. And even though I don't quite get. all of this and that's not quite how I see life. What I know is that I love you. And so going back to understanding humans while it's a very noble task to do and I encourage everyone to always have the humility of wanting to understand and I encourage everyone to always have a sense of want to understand and meet them where they are and I encourage everyone to know that you never quite get there, well you can try. I also want us to understand that sometimes you cannot understand

someone and still love them. This can coexist. Now, the reason why we turn to people with understanding is because when we feel understood and heard, things can move from there. If someone is coming at you with, like I know who you are, know exactly, I know what you need. It's very easily triggering a reflex of you have no idea who I am or what I need or what I want. And the fact that you did not even take the time to ask, well then I'm not going to tell you. I'm going to just silently reject you, never respond to you because you're all fully confident and you have no idea about my life. So we don't orient to influence what we orient to understand because when we are met there is where we can move from there. And not because we have any

specific outcome other than to help people if they need it or to just be with them if that's what they need. Just listen if that's what they need. Depend to depends on the context. What I'm trying to tell you is the orientation is what matters and it doesn't even have to be perfect so long as there is that orientation that's coming from a pure place. Not ill like me help me understand you so I can tell you how you're doing everything wrong because that is not a pure place guys. I had people who asked me like so many questions. I'm like oh my god this guy really wants to understand me only then to give me this diagnosis of like oh by the way all the the questions that I asked. So I think I just I know who we are now. Let me tell you. Would you like to

know? I'm like, oh, so that's why all these questions were that retroactively invalidates everything just happened because I didn't know that was the intention there. Well, my bad for not knowing that. But that doesn't create anything in terms of like, well, thank you so much. No, now I had this diagnosis that I didn't know I was entering into. Well, I don't know what to say. Thanks. Anyway, guys, empathy as we know it, we learned to understand humans. Like, we are going to dive deeper into this realms of understanding humans.

How do we actually do this? How do we actually create safety in which this can happen? How do we actually meet people where they are? But everything we learn here, this is the baseline. Thank you so much for watching and listening to this one. Link in the description if you want to join Empathy as We Know It. It's starting April 15 and I cannot wait to see you guys inside of the program. You get lifetime access if you come and we'll go deeper inside of these topics.

There's a lot more to uncover here. Bye guys.