On Display with Melissa Gorga - A Round of Tinx (w/ Tinx)

Episode Date: October 6, 2022

Melissa is joined by TikTok star and the internet's favorite big sister, Tinx, to get the scoop on dating, drafting the perfect "anti-ghosting" text, and why turning 30 is just the start of things going good.  Tinx also gives us her opinion on the recent talk of "Yellow Flags," and what she really thinks about Melissa and Joe's relationship.  This is an episode packed with great advice from two people who are not afraid to tell it like it is.  This week's sponsor:  Everlywell - Personal Digital Healthcare: everlywell.com/melissa (20% off at-home lab test)

Literally if I put on makeup and I put on an outfit, I'm going to get a lot of bang for my buck. I've done three in a night and I'm not shame. I'm not, I don't think there's anything wrong with that. Okay, I'm actually really looking forward to chatting with this one. She's made for a name for herself as a content creator and a relationship expert. I know you've seen her in her extremely popular videos about dating advice. The best part is that you call yourself TikTok's older sister. Ladies and gentlemen, I have tinks with me today. Hi, thank you so much for having me on.

I'm so excited for our conversation. I know it's gonna be a good one. I know, I'm very, very excited to talk to you. So you give dating advice. You talk about celebrities, you talk about mental health. You're on the Forbes 2022 top creator list. It was such an honor. I mean, it was really, really cool to be recognized in that way.

And digital creators were still a new field. So just the fact that they're recognizing online creators is very, very cool. And I just felt so grateful to be a part of that list. Yeah, that is like huge. That is huge. They just like, how does how does Forbes contact you? Do they just come out of left field? Yeah, they,

you know, they get in touch with your team and they, you know, they want to see, you know, the numbers, they want to crunch the numbers, they want to just kind of weigh your overall influence and what have you. So it's really, really a big honor. I couldn't believe that I was included and some of the other people on the list, the fact that I was even like mentioned in the same like realm as them is so insane to me, but Very cool, very cool. Well, that's awesome. First of all, I'm so into talking to anyone that's a relationship expert because I just love that. That's my thing. Like I really do. First of all, like Jo and I think that we are relationship experts.

So first of all, like Joe and I think that we are relationship experts. No, but I think I was going to say the reasoning probably like to talk to people who talk about relationships is that you do have a very strong relationship. And it's one that has really stood the test of time and been out there in the public. And I love your guys relationship. And I think that so many people think of you guys as literally hashtag relationship goals. So it's no wonder. And I think that you're very like active with talking about it. And I really agree with that.

You know, I don't think that there can be any great partnership without like talking about it. Like it's work, you know, when you're joined in a union with someone, it's definitely work. But if you say, hey, like I'm committed, I'm going to make this work, like let's make it fun, let's work on it together. That's the recipe for success.

So I Think you have seriously one of the healthiest healthy healthiest relationships in the public eye and I respected and I like I want to know the secrets Like it's very cool. Thank you. That's so sweet. Thank you. Well, I think that We definitely have our ups and downs, but I think we always very vocal. Yes, we're not the type that play it like, oh, we're great. We're perfect. We're, yeah, we tell the truth. Fortunately, we do get along really well. We are like best friends in, and you have fun with it.

I think that's why it's so fun to watch and you guys feel so. Just, it's like such a nice thing to see because you guys do have fun with each other. And I think that's like at the basis of every great relationship is like you enjoy each other like you just said your best friends. Right. And I get so many questions and DMs from listeners that a lot of their questions, if Joe and I are going to be on the podcast together are relationship questions. They want to know like, how do you guys stay married for 18 years and still have so much fun together and manage to raise three kids and work so much. And it's like, we just obviously him and I have a lot of energy. I always say that. Like, we're not, we're not the type. But we, we want to live. We're life first.

I think we want to go. We, we got things to do, places to go. We fit it all in. Yeah. But we don't get lazy in our relationship. And I feel like a lot of people get lazy, right? Yeah. I agree with you completely. And I really do think that your guys energy, like you're never just like letting things coast.

You know, you each have your own interest, but you're coming back and you're helping each other with your businesses and your ideas and you're joking and you're raising your kids. There's always something and I think that that's also why your relationship is so strong because it's like you like to keep busy and that's like, that's how I am too. So I think that that's why I aspire to have a relationship like yours because I'm not, it's not that I don't like to relax, but I'm a go go go person. And so I think that it's important to find someone who matches your level.

And listen, if you're not, that's okay too, but then find someone who likes to chill a bit more because it's very important to be matched on energy levels, I think. Okay, so I'm going to go ahead and say that I agree with that 100% and I'll tell you why. A lot of friends that we know, and just people in general, they can be even acquaintances that know like my relationship and the biggest complaint in a lot of their relationships is that one wants to go go go, one wants to go out, the other one wants to stay home, one wants to have fun,

the other one can care less, they want to be on the couch at nine o'clock, they don't want to vacation as much. So I do think like when people are picking someone, it's a huge, it's a bigger deal than you think, to pick someone that's on your same speed, because eventually it does separate you guys. It does.

No, I think you're still right on that. And like, for me, I know even after I have kids, I want to be out and about. That's just who I am. Like, I've stopped judging myself for that. And it's just like, I like to be out and about. I like to have friends am. I've stopped judging myself for that. And it's just like, I like to be out and about. I like to have friends. I'm not going to be one of those people who has their kids and then, you know, doesn't speak to anyone again, which, by the way, no disrespect to that. That's how my parents kind of were. So I'm just like,

ugh, like, couldn't be me. I don't want that. But like, I need someone who is like, yeah, we're going to be having a social life and going out and going on trips just us to and and really just investing in each other. And it's so important to match energies. It really is because as you said, it can it can drive you apart. That's like for my friends too are like already they're like, oh god, like he wants to go out and I want to be in and blah, blah, blah. Like he's out again without me and I'm like, well, why don't you go? And they're like, well, I don't want to. And I'm like, okay, fair enough. That's, you know, you shouldn't do anything you don't want to do. But it's important. I think at the highest level to want to spend time the same way. Like overall, you know, have the same. That's the biggest thing. How you're going to spend your time and where you're

going to spend it together. Just like you said, I have friends that are home and he's out or vice versa. I know a couple that he could care less to go out. She needs to be out every restaurant all the time, wants to go out every weekend and she'll end up on girls nights constantly and vice versa. The other ones end up on guys nights. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They don't vibe the same that way.

So I do think that's like a huge, it's a huge thing. Yeah, talk to me how you become, how did you name yourself, tick tox? First of all, you're what? 32? I'm 32. You know what? It wasn't even me who said it. It was an article written about me and it really caught on and, you know, I'm honored that people think of me that way. I love it. I, it's so sweet that people think of me that way. I think it's just that I was like a little bit older, especially when I started, like as an influencer on TikTok, and I do like to give advice, and I do I have been through a lot of life experiences. So, and I love to I love to give advice. So it just kind of caught on. But yeah, I feel very lucky that people come to me for advice and that they view me in that way. So you just started to create content and put it out on tic-tac about like marriages, like give me one example of what you would say. More, you know, it would be like I love a little rule or I love a little trick, you know, for example saying,

if a guy likes you, he'll text you and just like talking about that notion or like saying if a guy doesn't confirm on the day of the day, don't go on the day because it means he doesn't respect your time and just like debating those things and you know or friendship things, you know, that like I have all these little rules and tricks that I've learned over the years and I would just put them out there, have a discussion with people, you don't have to agree with me, of course, but it's just interesting to talk about that stuff because I think that that's like, that's what life is about to me. You know, I'm very into just being with friends, conversing about, you know, what's working

in our lives, like what are the things that you've picked up along the way? How can we help others that way, especially girl to girl? It's so important that we share these tips. I didn't have an older sister. I literally always wanted an older sister or whatever and I think for me just my female friendships are so important and really this is all born out of my my love of that of that bond. Instagram on your tic tac. You have a podcast and you have a radio show on serious, right? I love it. Yeah, it's I feel so lucky. My community is amazing. It's a lot of like minded people who are like work hard play hard. You know, we like pop culture. We like the movies. We like concerts. We like dating. We are just kind of like kind of like go go go people as we've been saying. So it's I feel very lucky. I learned so much from my community as well as give them advice to it. It's really a two-way street. So it's very cool.

Well, last week I was actually talking to Joe. We were on the podcast and we were discussing like yellow flags in relationships, right? So it's like you know a red flag when you see a red flag and you're like, wow, get him out of here. Like this guy's no good. Or if you're girlfriend's dating somebody, right? But what about what do you feel about yellow flags where it's kind of like, ah, in between, like how for all of my listeners that are out there dating, like how serious should they take a yellow flag? I think that it's important to take note of that stuff. I always say in the beginning stages of when you're dating someone, imagine that you're a scientist and that you're collecting data. And it's so good to be vigilant about all those little things. Like, you know what you're dating someone and it's exactly

what you're saying, like a yellow flag. And it's not outright like big enough to dump them, but it's just something like collect that piece of data and just store it in your little, in your little book. Because I think that sometimes when we start to date someone, we can get so caught up in like the idea of them and like what it could be, like I'm the same way, I'm not saying I'm perfect, I start dating someone and I'm like, oh my God, like I can see myself marrying him in Florida in 23, 23,

and whatever, whatever, and you just kind of go blind to all those little things. But it's important to think, okay, like he didn't call me for 12 hours. Like, how does that make me feel? Or he didn't follow up when I said that, like, you know, I was going to the doctor for my broken toe. Like, how does that make me feel like not an overt thing, but just like a yellow flag. You have to keep notice of them.

Because if it's one, it's one. If it's 10, then we got a problem. You know what I mean? Exactly. And I feel like your first couple dates, they are like information overload. Right? Yeah. Yeah. You're literally figuring out everything. You're hearing all the answers. You're finding out everything. So you're basically, you know, you have to take notes on all the data that's coming through. Right. You really do. Yeah. Yeah. It's so much new information when you're basically, you know, you have to take notes on all the data that's coming through. Right. You really do. Yeah. Yeah. It's so much new information when you're dating someone and you're trying to, you're trying to figure out like who this person is, but I think it's so important to figure out how that person makes you feel. Like, you can try to get to know someone

as fast as possible, but you're still really not going to know them for months, right? But what's important is how they make you feel. So when you leave the date with them, do you feel funny? Do you feel cool? Do you feel sexy? Like that's a good indicator of someone who is great for you.

You know what? That is an awesome. I think listening to you, I love that you're so like you really do know because that just hit home for me. Like if that's such a great thing, like how do you feel when you leave? Are you dancing on a cloud? Are you on cloud nine?

Are you like, I don't know, I think that's a huge telling thing right there is like, how do you feel when you leave them? Yeah, totally. And like, similarly, if you, if you're really nervous to text them and like, if you have to draft the text a million times and screenshot your friends and say, Oh, what do you think I should say? In my opinion, probably not your person. Like, when you know, when you can just flow and like go back and forth with someone and listen, I don't like texting and all the modern dating stuff is a nightmare. And I, and anyone out there going through it, like I get it completely,

because it's like they Instagram me and then you have to text them back and then they're snapchat, whatever. But like if you're drafting the text to them and you don't know what to say in your nervous, probably not your person. Because when it's your person or someone that you're gonna date at least,

you're just gonna flow. You're not gonna think about it. You're just gonna hit them back and be like, oh my god, I did see that movie so funny. Like, yay, I blow, blow, blow, funny. Like, yeah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Like I, my whole 20s, I was like, screenshot the text to my friends. Guys, what do you think I should say? Okay. Maybe if I say this, maybe if I put one exclamation point, it will be better than if I put two or should I put in, you know, like that stuff doesn't matter. A change of season means longer days,

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And for listeners of the show, Everly Well is offering a special discount of 20% off and at home lab tests at EverlyWell.com slash Melissa. That's EverlyWell.com slash Melissa for 20% off your next at home lab tests. EverlyWell.com slash Melissa. So what is like the number one question that you get from people? Like what is what is everybody like, you know, what is the most asked question I would say that everyone wants to talk to you about? You know, it's sad because the two that are probably the most common are firstly about ghosting like I got ghosted and what do I how do I get over that. And then the second one is like how can I get him

to commit. And like both of them make me really sad because I have been ghosted a lot of times myself and I have been the girl who's like I just want to make him my boyfriend. And then as I got older, I realized if someone ghosts you, it is a reflection of them and the lack of confidence. And not about you, like, all it means is they were to chicken shit to call you up and say, Hey, actually, I don't want to, I don't want to go on anymore dates anymore. Like, how difficult is that? Like, how difficult is it to just send a text and be like,

actually, I'm good, like, thanks. So that the other person isn't out of their mind wondering. And then the second one, like, I just, I really want people to know that everybody deserves to have someone who wants them. It shouldn't be that you have to play them into being your boy into being your boyfriend or trick them or mind games them or manipulate them. Like, you deserve more than that. Like you deserve someone who goes on a first date and is like, damn, like she's really cool.

I'm really into her. I'm going to ask her out again. Like you shouldn't have to put up a thirst trap on Instagram stories to get them to remember that you're alive. You know what I mean? 100%. I mean, everything you say makes so much sense. Do you follow your own advice when you date?

Do you always follow your own advice when you date? Do you always follow your own advice? I do. I mean, I try for the most part. I am pretty good now with it because I've found that it's just like helpful to, it's just, you know, it was all collected over years of being terrible at dating and being like having low self-esteem.

And now I'm like, yeah, I do, honestly. I can shoot from the hip. I know what I like. I, you know, I'm kind of just, it's, it's one of the perks of dating when you're a little bit older. Another really question that I get asked a lot, which really makes me sad, is like, people younger girls are afraid to turn 30, if they're not married. And I just turn 32. And I am truly so grateful and happy for my life, like more than I ever have been before. And I'm like, you guys, your life doesn't end at 30. It honestly, like begins at 30, like you're more confident, you know, you're

worth, you, you know, are hopefully in a better place in your career. And you just feel more yourself than ever. So, um, yeah, I do, I do on the whole follow my own rules. I say that all the time for me 30 is like the golden year like 30 is an awesome time because it's it's you really come into your own and if you're gonna pick someone to marry and spend the rest of your life with you're probably gonna make a better decision after 30 Then you are when you're 22 or 23 or, you know, it's like, you just know your child. Yeah, I was like, I was, I'm listen, that's not to say that some people don't meet the love of their life when they're 21 because it happens and that's amazing. But I think for a lot of us, especially, you know, if you're, you know, a career person, you're living in a big city and you're, you know, you thought you were going to get married at 25 and then 25 passes and you're like, person, you're living in a big city, and you thought you were gonna get married at 25,

and then 25 passes, and you're like, whoa, I'm not even ready to get married, I keep feeling myself changed, like, that's okay. You will find a person when you're ready to find them, and the more you develop yourself, the more you value yourself, the more you know what you want from your life, the higher quality partner you're going

to attract, right? So that happens at all different times for some people, but don't fear if it hasn't happened by the age of 25. Have you, what do you feel about like the apps? So you more into like meet someone in person or are you an, do you like the apps? So I think that the apps when they were created, it started off as a really great idea, because it was, you know, an efficient way to meet a lot of people. Unfortunately, what I think has happened is that people have started to use the apps as a validation tool, and less as like a way to meet people. And by that, I mean, I think guys sit there, guys and girls, honestly, sit there and they scroll and they think, Oh, I got a match. I'm hot. Oh, I got another match. I'm hot. Oh, my God. I got three matches. Stay. I'm hot. Really? Like what's

fun? And then they don't, and then they don't like meet up. You know, that's another huge question that I get all the time. Tinks like, I've matched with this guy. And we've been talking for three weeks. He hasn't asked me out yet. Yeah, because he's getting all the validation that he needs. Like, for me, I don't get the pen pal thing. And I always say to girls like, if you've been chatting with someone for six weeks on an app, you need to go to have a drink with them or go have a meal with them or go get a coffee with them because until you do in person, you're never going to know if it's, if it's, if it's, if there's a click, and then you're wasting your time, you're wasting all

your time. And I, I do think I'm going to make a generalization here. I think that women get more invested in the potential than men do on the whole massive generalization. But, you know, that's why I get so many questions where girls are like, I've been talking to him for two months on an app and like, I really like him. And I'm like, you haven't even like smelled him or like heard his laugh in person. Like, how can you, you know what I mean? And you've invested two months of your time. Meanwhile, this guy is probably matched with another 50 girls doing the exact same thing, going out with another one. But you need, you need to get, you need to get in real life. Like, I think the apps are great as a tool

It's not an app like Instagram people have started to use it as like a thing to do when they're waiting in a doctor's office and their board They're just swiping like it's great as a tool use it as a means to an end to meet people That's what it's for to meet people not to have endless conversations online like we're not robots Right I agree when 100% and what you said about smell, I just want to put a little note to that. Smell is huge. And I'm not talking about like someone who smelly,

opposed to that. No, no, no. Like deodorant or cologne. I'm talking about like, there's a real thing with smellmones. Fair connection. Is this right? And so like certain people,

they do it for you just the smell of their skin. Yeah, it's a complete thing. And it's like, I believe in all that. Like for me, I'm very into like, I need to hear someone the way they speak. They laugh. Like they smell like like they, they hold themselves like all that stuff really matters in attraction to me. Again, not to say that people can't meet people online.

I have friends who are married from apps, but you know how they got married, they met up in person. They got a drink with the frickin guy. You know, you got to get off of the off of the phone eventually. Of course. You know, we were just also Joe and I actually were just talking about this as well. And I want to say that it's more men than women, but I really shouldn't say that because I don't know that for a fact. But there is a lot of men out there that are I just said I wasn't going to say that it's more men than women, but I really shouldn't say that because I don't know that for a fact. But there is a lot of men out there that, I just said I wasn't gonna say that and then I said it. That need validation through the DMs and the text messages. Right, they just want to know that you think they're hot

or like they want to just speak to you somehow, either sexually or very flirtatious, but they don't actually ever want to meet up to you somehow, like, either sexually or very flirtatious, but they don't actually ever want to meet up with you or see you. There's a lot of that out there. Even when they're with someone that they love or like very much, they still will take the compliments and the flirting, like, validation, and they need that. Is that just a part of insecurity?

I think it's honestly to do with social media because social media has made us all need so much more validation. And it's like, it's really sad because I think you're right. Like I do have to say, I know, I mean, I have no idea either if that's true, but I feel like men do seem to need a lot of validation online

and like from a lot of sources and it's sad because it's like, you know, we've seen it time and time again in the media and the public eye. It's like, why do you need to DM a girl? Like, if you're happy, you know, if you have a failure, it's crazy. And it's just, social media has just made us think we need to have likes and comments Every day, you know, and that's I like I'm of course guilty of that too. I'm a human being We all are we all are yeah, but I'm trying so hard to like really acknowledge or like

Speak that when I feel it like oh I looked at my phone because I wanted to see if I got likes on this Instagram Like I really try to speak it or like think to myself Acknowledge it because it's not normal how much we've trained our brains to need these like you know Like the serotonin the rush or whatever like they've even shown that really scary study where they showed that like in babies As young as like two or something when the phone lights up, it like makes them happy because they they feel like they're like serotonin coming from the phone. So it's like now from the time where kids it's like whenever you see a notification it's like oh like validation or whatever. So it's really scary what we're doing to our brains. It is scary and I do have a lot of

friends including myself sometimes that you know know, if you post something, now they go back, you can tell they just posted something because they're back on their phone. Yeah. Every 10 minutes, just seeing the comments and seeing the likes and like, you know, I do miss life. I don't know if you remember life without Instagram, but I do. And I, you know, I miss it. I do miss it as much as I love Instagram and appreciate it because it has helped me I build a business as well on Instagram, right? And there's so many great parts of Instagram for me that are for business to be honest. Yeah, I do love to share things. I love to see like there's so many people That's the Facebook thing too though just from high school and all of these things that I would never know what they're doing or what their kids look like or anything. And so I'm thankful for your social media, but I'm also like annoyed that I need to make sure that when we go somewhere, it's like, let's get the picture first and then enjoy

the night. And that annoys me to this day. I get anxiety over that. I'm like, oh, we got to take the picture. You know, and it's like, that's, it's almost become like a small, it's a job. Instagram is a job. And I'm sure you feel that same with, with TikTok, if you're getting notoriety on it and people are wanting to hear from you, you're like, let me, let me do something. Let me put something out there. Yeah. And you can't switch it off, because it's like you said, it's like, you can't switch that party beer brain off. You go for a night

out with your friends and like, we all want to take a picture. Like, that's the sad part. Like, I miss life before. Like, I was finished with college right as Instagram was coming out. And I have to say, I'm really grateful that I did most of college without Instagram because I was just in the present.

Like, I had my little digital camera. Maybe I took some photos for Facebook, but it wasn't like the need. Like it's like everyone take your Instagram pictures okay everyone post them what is everyone captioning it whatever whatever and it's like gosh like again I'm not shitting on Instagram because it is my life and my livelihood and there's so many good parts and I love connecting with people like you I love sharing just like you said to but it it's like, I miss the simplicity of it and I miss the ability to just be present, you know,

because you can't really switch that part of your brain off. You can, it's hard because we're kind of trained at this point. Yeah. What is your, give me a little advice for dating. Like, first of all, is it okay to have two dates in the same day? Like, can you go for coffee during the day and then have dinner at night? I always do. I always do. I used to. Yeah, because I literally, if I put on makeup and I put on an outfit, I'm going to get a lot of bang for my buck. I've done three in a night and I'm, I'm not shame.

I'm not, I don't think there's anything wrong with that. Because it's like, you do three things. And it's like you, like, it's a big effort to go out, you know, especially as you get older, I'm like, I put on like $20 worth of makeup on my face, like I can't be doing that multiple times a week. And also if I drink, like I only like to try, I try, I mean, I love to drink, that's the problem. So I try to only drink like, you know,

two or three nights a week. So I've got to get one, if I'm going to have cocktails, I might as well go. Listen, if you are being safe. Is that thing wrong with it? If you are being safe and you are being respectful, to me, it personally, I wouldn't be sleeping with multiple people at the same time. That's just me personally, but I don't judge that. I think it's fine. As long as you are being safe, you can get to know multiple

people at a time, 100%. you can get to know multiple people at a time, 100%. I just casually look towards a canal and I saw what I thought was a mannequin. August 2, 1998, the body of a brilliant young scientist is found dead near the campus of Georgetown University. It was a gruesome scene. Walking up to the body, um, it became apparent that there had been a sexual assault. For more than six years, DC police had no leads and no suspects. Then another disturbing discovery. She wasn't his only victim.

As these cases went on, the more the victims resisted, the more violent he became. One man committing a series of heinous crimes against women, but then he just stops. 10 years go by, then 20. What would it take to finally crack the case wide open? I'm Paul Wagner, join me for Unknown Subject, season three of WTOP's American Nightmare Podcast series, available October 4th on all podcast platforms. on all podcast platforms.

Is it cool to make an excuse to leave a date early? So if you're miserable, can you say like listen, should people say like listen, I'm glad we met this really isn't for me and leave or are you hurting someone's feelings that way? Should you fake it and and ghost them? Obviously, you don't want to do that. So what what's the best way? I think in them I think it's a little bit harsh to be like, I'm not enjoying this date and leave. I think you can fake it and be like, I'm sorry, like, I'm kind of feeling a little off. I'm going to go home, you know, thanks. And then you text them the next day and be like, I always say, this is my anti-ghost text. You say, Hey, it was great getting to know you. I

thought about it and I don't feel a romantic connection. And I think you're awesome. And I don't want to waste your time. I know you're looking for the real thing and so on my. So good luck out there. Easy. I feel like that's respectful. That's right. How forget easy is that to send that text versus like, you know, lying or ghosting or slow ghosting or fading or benching or all the other things like it's just so easy. But yeah, you can definitely lie to leave. I've like, I've been I've pulled the like, I don't feel well card for sure. Okay. Okay. So here's another question I have for you. And this is some scenarios that I've heard from my listeners. Okay. So if you find a person you

really like and you're interested in kind of moving into a relationship, okay, and you know, you want to move to the next step, right? Then the person says, you listen, I really just want to take it slow. Like, I don't want to, and you want to move fast, but they literally tell you, no, like, I want to take it slow. What do you feel about this? Like, how do you, is that a yellow flag right there?

Or to me, I'm a little bit, I can be a little bit black and white about this stuff. To me, if someone says, I want to take it slow or this or that, I don't buy it because if it's the right person, they're never going to want to take it slow. They're never going to want to take it slow. If they are truly into you, if they truly see potential with your relationship, they will never want to take it slow. And they wouldn't, like, even if they were, you know, not in the position to be in a relationship, it doesn't matter. We've seen it a hundred times. Someone says, I'm not, I'm not ready to day, I'm not ready to get married. They need someone. They're engaged in six months because it's the right person. Like, I don't believe in right person

wrong timing. Like, I don't believe in that. And a lot of people are like, you will write to me and be like, Oh, it's just the timings wrong, the timings wrong, the timings wrong. I'm like, if they wanted to be with you, they'd find a way to be with you. Are there loopholes 100% if they're like in medical school and working 20 bars a day or if they're like have to go to live in Japan for six months Like yeah for sure then that's timing But if they're just like not really in a place to be in a relationship They just don't like you that much and what happens a lot is then a girl will accept that They'll be it she'll be like oh, okay. He doesn't want to date seriously right now. I'll wait around for him

She turns around and all of a sudden he's seriously dating someone else. Happens all the time. Yeah, because he just doesn't have the balls to say like, listen, I really don't want to do this with you because he wants to hold on to her. In case he doesn't find something better. He doesn't want to like go of everything. You know, he doesn't want to keep all his eggs in one basket. Totally.

They want and a lot of women then they get strong along and they're waiting around when they can just be moving on. You know, and vice versa. I've definitely seen women, you know, drag guys through the mud as well and kind of just keep them around where they're just as guilty as a lot of attention and, you know, want everyone to be attracted to them and want to be with them and they don't know what they want either. But I am a huge believer in what you just said, which is like, there's no time or place. Like when they want it, they want it,

there's no, like let's take it slow. They can't breathe until the next time they see it. Exactly. Literally, especially in the beginning, it's like 100%. They're holding their breath until they can like, get you on the phone. It almost feels like you're 14 again. And you like you get that feeling. Yeah. And like I again, I don't want to

make too many generalizations, but I think in like straight male female relationships, when a guy likes you, you know, like he's literally freaking out. Like he's planning the next day while you're already still on the date. He's calling you to like ask how your dog is. Like he will find any excuse to chat with you. And it's like once you have that once, I always tell people like, remember the last time you were in love, remember that feeling? Now compare it to this like situation ship garbage that you have going on. Like we convince ourselves like, oh, like all these things, whatever, whatever.

When a guy likes you, it is so painfully obvious. They're like freaking out. They're possessed until they can like see you again. You can feel it, girls. You can feel it when he wants you. You can just feel it. You know, I know you want to ignore the signs when you don't feel it, but just feel it because it's just, you know, when you know, you know exactly.

All right. Well, listen, I do this fun little segment. It's called grill with gorgah. We're going to ask you some fun rapid fire questions. Okay, about you. So we can get some little tinks in fo. Okay, we want to learn about this great relationship expert here. So who was your first celebrity crush?

Vin Diesel. Oh, yeah, I just That's it for does it for me. Like he's so masculine and like, you know, I saw him in that movie, Triple X and he was like a spy and he had that big shag coat on and I don't know, it just did it for me.

He's like badass. Yeah, he's a bad guy. Yeah. Your favorite 90s song. Bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, and sink. Love it. Yeah. It's so good.

Pop anthem. Everybody loves it. What's your biggest regret? You know, I had one boyfriend. I don't really believe in regrets. I think you, if you can learn from everything and everything happens in our life for a reason, I do believe in silver linings. I have one boyfriend where I'm just like I could have skipped him. He was just a bad egg and just kind of gotten those two years of my life back, but I feel like we all have one of those. Yeah, I was just going to say I don't know many people who don't have at least one regret with a relationship. Yeah. Best decision you've ever made. I think taking a chance on myself and moving to LA, you know, I had already moved from San Francisco

to New York and I was like 29 and I was like, God, should I move again? And everyone was like, you shouldn't move. Like, you're just running away from your problems. And I was like, I just have a gut feeling that I should move to LA. And I'm so glad I did. Good. You're happy there. You'd love it. Yeah. Yeah, I am for now. For now. What is your pet peeve? It drives you crazy. Okay. It's really specific. It's like when people are really precious about their fruit and vegetables. So like, for example,

if people see a bruise on an apple and like they won't take it or they won't eat it or like the banana is a little brown and they like won't eat that part. It like annoys me to know and and I don't know why it's so so random and so specific. I want them to eat the bruise banana or they'll open an avocado. There will be like one brown spot and they're like ew. Garbage. And I'm like you eat like Cheetos and like plastic like terrible other stuff like and you're not going to eat this tiny bruise on a fruit. I don't know, it annoys the shit out of me. I don't know. Oh my God, that is a first.

I know it has a really specific one. It's that to me for a pet peeve. That is like very original. Everybody says, everybody says, when other people are rude to wait staff, that's what everybody says. They're like, when people are rude to the waiter, that's my pet peeve.

I'm like, that's not a pet peeve. That's just like being a decent human being. Like obviously that's annoying. Like think of a better one, guys. Come on. Unbelievable. Okay, what was your worst date? A guy told me literally we're at dinner

and he was like, you don't have much in the chest department do you? And I was like, I was like, oh my God, like I started bawling. Like I should have said, had I been older, I was like, oh my God, like I started bawling. Like I should have said, had I been older, I was like 24 or 25 at the time. I should have crying right there on the spot. Yeah, I was like in a restaurant. He's like looking at my boobs, like saying you don't have much of a chest

of her when I was like, what the hell? He thought he was being funny. I just started bawling. I should have been like, you probably don't have much in the dick department. Yeah, that's that was now. Now, now, if he would have said that to you now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So wait, you started crying and how did he react?

Was he like, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to. Oh my god, the whole restaurant got involved. They were like, why are you crying? I was like, this guy just said this to me and people were like, oh my god, this guy's a monster. Like I went running out. Like it was a whole scene. It was a whole.

You were running out literally. Oh, I'm so disrespectful. Like, Bob was so funny. What was your first concert? Green Day which is so random. It's like not my personality at all. Really? What do you listen to now? I'm a pop girl, you know, I like Lady Gaga, I like Drake, I like Rihanna, I like, you know, I'm a pop diva. What is something about you that would surprise us? That I'm messy because I'm very like, I have a rule for everything.

I have a list for everything, you know, I'm so anal about everything. And then I'm like, such a slob, it doesn't fit at all. But let's just my little thing. Okay, we were literally just talking about this on last week's episode, because I asked Joe what would be a yellow flag for him. And he's like messy girls. I can't stand when I get in their cars. And it looks like a bomb hit the inside of the car. There's the same papers everywhere. Yeah, there's water bottles. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's their apartments. And there are hot mess. He's like, but everything else is clean. You know, her body is clean.

She's hot. She's this. She's that, but a room's clean. You know, her body is clean. She's hot. She's this. She's that, but her room's a mess. That's a yellow, that's a yellow flag for Joe. He was saying, yellow flag. No, boys don't like it. Every time I, like, have a boyfriend, they're like, you were like disgusting.

And I'm like, no, I know. My car, there's can't die co-cans everywhere. It's a mess. Oh my God. Okay, what's your favorite late night snack when you're on the couch at night? I have a chip scroll like a salt and vinegar chip is so good to me. I love a salt and vinegar. It's so tangy and good. They actually start to burn the inside of my mouth. Yeah. But I love that. I love I love that burn. It's so good. What was your first job? My first job was in retail

when I was in high school. I just did helping out at a boutique, but I liked it. You know, I, I like saw that as my entryway into fashion. I was like, what better way to, to like, you know, learn than to help customers. So, right. That was great. Well, there you go. What TV show are you binge watching right now?

I just, oh my God, I love the real girlfriends of Paris. It's like, you love that. I heard it's getting a bad rap or something. Okay. Is it good? Like, I will die on this hill. That is my favorite, favorite type of reality TV. Like, I'm a housewives person,

but like, I love what people consider to be like the next level down on Bravo, which is like, you know, ladies of London or NYC prep or now this show, like I'm obsessed like level two Bravo. I like level two Bravo. No, I literally it's such a specific niche. And I'm so obsessed with it. And I've already I've been like tagging Bravo. And I'm like, if this doesn't get renewed,

I'm going to throw a bitch fit because it's literally, it's just so relaxing to watch to me. And like gallery girls, I don't know if you remember that. Like there's just some good ones. Oh my God. That's interesting. I love that actually. Yeah. Way to go. Shout out to Bravo for all their secondary. I shouldn't even call that's me. I know housewives are like a red and butter. Exactly. Exactly. Like obviously everybody loves housewives. But I like, I like tier two. Listen, it could be too high tension, high energy for some people. Some people like can't chill watching housewives believe it or not. Cause it's intense. It's intense.

It's intense. Yeah. Um, I always end with how do you treat yourself? So if the day is all about tinks, what are you going to do for the day? Oh my gosh. I, I just love, I'm like basic. I like going to the beach. I like getting my nails done. I like to me that is the best days to like work out, go to the beach, get my nails some of my friends, have Margarita's and then go to a really boozy dinner. That's like my dream. Awesome. Tings, this has been incredible. You have given up so much great advice. Thank you for having me. Thank you so much. You're wonderful. And for everyone how to be like a strong self-respecting woman. Listeners, make sure you check her out on Instagram and on TikTok. Her handle is at tinks T-I-N-X, T-I-N-X, right?

And listeners do yourself favor and participate in her next AMA. You will not be disappointed. Thank you so much for coming on the display. I'm so glad you were so much fun. I will have you back anytime. you you