On Display with Melissa Gorga - Premiere Pre-Game (w/ Joe Gorga)

Episode Date: May 2, 2024

This week Melissa and Joe talk about what it's like to sit next to Dorinda Medley during a movie, the hard-to-ignore, recent internet talk regarding RHONY, AND Melissa shares the story of her most embarassing doctor's visit.  This week's sponsors:  Apartments.com - The Place to Find a Place: Apartments.com Dime Beauty - Affordable, High-End Skincare: DimeBeautyCO.com  PlutoTV - Free, Streaming TV and Movies: Pluto.TV

If you envy my wife, you'll envy my life. Did you just come up with that on your own? Hey guys, it's me, Melissa Gorga. Hi. I have a super fun guest for you guys today. You know what? It's premiere week for The Real Housewives of New Jersey. So I thought we can just bring in someone who stars in The Real Housewives of New Jersey. Let me just give you a nice little introduction. So this is one of the house husbands on The Real Housewives

of New Jersey. And I would say he's the kindest, sweetest, most emotional, crazy, intense teddy bear on our show. Ladies and gentlemen, today I have Mr. Joe Corga. Yay! See, I waited. See how nice I did now? I waited for you. Yeah, I was just waiting for you to butt in. To do your introduction.

See how nice? I've respected you now. I kinda like that. You see, you say intense, lovable, teddy bear, crazy. I like that. See, you don't know what you're getting. You don't know No, you are all of those things but everywhere I go Do you know or I don't even have to go much because every time I'm at envy both locations

Everyone tells me how much they love you and they're just like he's just so Cute Amazing He's so and I'm they all feel like you wear your heart on your sleeve. That's what they say. You better cross your t's and dot your i's baby because you know, don't worry about me. I'm just pick me right up. Pick me. See how you take some. This is why we don't complement you. Did you hear that ladies like so I tried to give him a

compliment and he took it to the next level. Why you got to say that? When I give you compliments you do the same thing. No, I don't. You do. I take the compliment. You're like, oh yeah, yeah, you're like, oh yeah, any guy will want me. Wait, you know a funny story I wanted to tell you?

You, I don't even think you realize this because you never brought it up to me, but the other day, it was yesterday I believe, I had glam with me and I had to do a press for the Real Housewives of New Jersey. So I was doing hair and makeup and the girls are talking, one girl is divorced and she's dating someone. So we were discussing her new relationship and things she likes and things she doesn't like and she needs more words of affirmation. Right. And so I started laughing. She's like, what's Joe? I'm like, Joe is definitely words of affirmation.

Like you need to hear it and you give it like that way. Like you like to tell, I need you, I want you, I have to have you, I this, right? Are you words of affirmation? Am I words? Yeah. Because the others acts of acts, I think it's like giving like so gifts.

And the other thing is like time quality time. I think I'm all that. I'm I'm like pretty much acts of service, which is like a physical touch. You might be physical touch. I was just, yeah, listen, I'm a little bit everything. So that's what's great about. No, no. What do you need? What do you need? I need a little. Shit, I would like everything. I mean, I say what you give the most is physical touch and words about me to you. What I give to you. I know what you're going to say. You're perfect. Everything we know. I give you everything. What don't I give you? I mean, no, I tell you. I tell you you're amazing. You're beautiful. I love you. I want to touch you. I want to bang you.

I want to do this. I want to lick you. Oh my God. You went all physical. No, but I tell you all that and then I'm nice to you and I talk. I have talking days. I open the door for you. Oh my God.

This is Toot Joe's horn moment. I do everything. Wait, can I ask you though, if you had to pick one thing that you need, do you need acts of service, words of affirmation, physical touch, quality time? And there's one other one I'm missing. I don't know what it is. I mean, I kind of need a little bit of everything. I can't just say, all right, give me a little bit of quality time. Okay, what's quality time?

Quality time is then touching, right? Isn't it? No, it's taking a walk in the park and looking at the sunset. That's quality time for most couples. Is it really? Yes. It's taking a vacation. It's having a dinner together. It's having a date night. Obviously you need that. I mean, what are you doing? You're not date. Why should you be married? Why should you date? And this is an event diagram. They don't all connect and you can't

intertwine with all of them. You need to pick one. What should you date? And this isn't a Venn diagram. They don't all connect and you can't intertwine with all of them. You need to pick one. What do you need? It's impossible to pick one, like who? Would you rather, physical touch, would you rather me tell you you're amazing and handsome and beautiful,

or would you rather me buy you a gift? Like what do you need? Would you rather have time with me? So if it was like, okay, let me tell you you're amazing and not have sex or physical touch means let's have sex and tell me I suck. I'd rather have sex. Words of affirmation you mean. I mean, right? Is it, I don't know, is that what you're trying to say? No, everyone has like their, it's called a love language. Like what's your love language? What do you need?

But I think you need everything. That's the problem. That's why I always said I would never marry an Italian. My mother married an Italian. My sister married an Italian. I always said, I don't wanna marry an Italian because they're very high maintenance. You're high maintenance.

I always said I wasn't gonna marry an Italian woman. And I wasn't going to marry an Italian woman. And look what happened. I married an Italian woman. You guys are, you need so much attention. You know what you need, need, need. I know what you need. My friend married a Colombian woman. When he gets up in the morning, no, when he gets up in the morning.

I know, there's toothpaste on his toothbrush. That's right. What does that have to do with it? Does she make pasta? No, she makes rice and beans, but beautiful you love that I mean see it's like, you know, it's always something gabish. So you'd be happy that you know what you need Literally, this is what you need you need words of affirmation during physical touch I mean does which is you know, but doesn't everybody, what do you just wanna do? Bang me, you know, and don't say nothing?

I have a whole point. Don't you wanna say, hey baby, I love you, you're amazing, oh yeah, look at you. Oh my God, please, nobody wants to hear this. Look at that skin, look at that body, look at that. That's good, that soups you up, that gets you excited. You gonna say nothing? No, you're going to have I don't know, Joe.

You're not getting the whole love language thing. You just think you can do an event diagram. So I'm done. No, I just talking about about this with you. Please tell your friends not to call us during our work hours. Listen, wait, can I tell you my point? I know I got to tell you my point, though, of this all. So while I was talking to my little glam squad my girls

I then said they said to me what is Joe and I'm like, I don't know. I think he's words of affirmation I'm like for instance. I'm like look what he texts me earlier today. It was literally out of the blue 130 in the afternoon and you know, I didn't even realize this. You wrote, I want you. And it was 1 30 in the afternoon. This was on Monday. It was a couple of days ago. Guess what? I opened my phone to show the girls and they get hysterical laughing and I'm like, what? They're like, you didn't answer him. You didn't even heart it. They're like, you left that blank. And I was like, Oh my God, I think. You suck. They're like, you didn't even heart it. Right. You suck. They're like, you left that blank.

And I was like, oh my God, I think I was on the phone. And I didn't even realize. That's disgusting. And I'm like, I just kept it moving. Like Joe... Just keep it moving. Joe wants some. Alright, keep it moving.

If you were dating somebody, and we got divorced, and you had... Oh my God, I'm going on a date with this guy. And he'd send that to you. You'd be like... you would call your friends. You would say how amazing he is. He told me he wants me. You know, you would, you think about that. Everybody has to think about it.

You would brag about that. When your husband does it, or even your wife, vice versa, right? Nobody takes it. They don't take it. Like, they're like, all right, enough. He wants sex, all right, big deal. But think about if you got divorced.

Now, you were a year alone and you met a bunch of scumbags. Then you met some decent guy and then he's sending you these little messages. You would be flying around like a kite. I'd be like, oh, you know. You would call all your friends, oh my God, you can't believe it. He grabbed my titty in the car and he told me I was amazing.

No, because it's new. Any time there's something new, girls get excited. He slapped my ass as we were walking into the restaurant. For instance, what about that movie, The Idea of You? We went to The Idea of You movie premiere last night, was it? And let me tell you guys, it was so funny. I sat next to, I have a funny story about Dorinda. I sat next to Dorinda and one of our friends, Tim, who works with NBC. And I was sitting next to Dorinda. So we're watching

this movie. I loved it. First of all, I cried. It was kind of a chick flick, right? But I do love a romantic, it was about a 40-year-old girl who falls in love with a 25 or 24-year-old band, basically the head singer of In the Sink. She's a hot 40-year-old. I could totally see this happening to me, by the way. The whole time you're watching and I'm like, Oh my God, this would be me. Like, but anyway, so this is the, this is the craziest part of the night. All of a sudden, Dorinda asks us for our Twizzlers. Now they're little square Twizzlers, like those little square ones. So she's eating them. Well, I guess one gets lodged in her throat and she starts choking and she's like, and like she literally had no air and the guy Tim we were sitting with bangs her back and it goes flying out of her mouth across the theater and she's good. I was like, Oh my God.

Crazy. Did that just happen? We almost lost Dorinda. I almost lost her. What are we doing here without Dorinda? That would have been on TMZ. What would we do? Joe Gorga and Melissa Gorga.

Gave Dorinda a twizzler. Choked her out, killed her. I did say, I was like, listen, Anne Hathaway's in the house. We walked right by, oh my God, I love him, Bradley Cooper. Oh wait, so Bradley Cooper was sitting by him. We were with Anne Hathaway, some, I mean, megastars, right? Guys, like megastars at this premiere. And I forgot at

first, you know, I was talking to the girls in the gaze and I forgot I brought Joe Gorga with me. And he was like right behind me and Bradley Cooper goes walking by and I look at like, Dorinda and the Countess or something. I was like, Oh my God. He wants me. He wants me. I then I was like, I'm just kidding. I forgot you were here. I start laughing. I'm like, it's Bradley Cooper. Like, come on now. We were allowed to like say, we're allowed to gasp. And plus he has Gigi Hadid. He does not give a shit about-

Gigi Hadid. Yes, that's his girl. My God. Yes, that's his girl. But Anne Hathaway is very sweet. She was very nice. I mean, I've had dinner at Triprionty next to her before, so I've seen her in person before. I would say she's tinier than you would think, right? Skinny, very skinny. Yeah, tiny little thing, very beautiful. I'm feeling like shit, man.

I know. I don't have my caffeine. Let's tell the Joe's story. I haven't had a cup of coffee. He's dying, guys, slowly. Day and a half. I got a comedy show this week and I'm shot. This is the worst week to have it. I know you're not I had a test yesterday. Guys, I've been going through like a

little like medical thing. So I'm trying to he's not going through a medical thing. Medical thing. I'm going through a medical thing. I'm doing all my checkups. Yes. Okay. I've never ever went to the doctor ever. And my last blood test was probably what? Six, seven years ago? Yeah, not long ago. I mean, yeah, a long time ago. Maybe 10 years ago. And- We're putting him through like guys, like the heart scan, like he had to go in and do a full scan of his heart. He is gearing up for a colonoscopy tomorrow.

So you are not alone. You can only have clear liquids from the time he woke up this morning until 12 noon tomorrow. He's hangry, guys. He's so hangry. He's hungry as hell. And I forgot he wasn't allowed to have a cup of coffee today.

Nothing. So I call him and he just sounds like, hello. And he's so down and he's so like, and I'm like, what's the matter with you? You sound like you're like dying. He's just like, I'm starving. I want a cup of coffee. Like it's rough. Could you imagine these people that don't have food in these other countries?

Really? It's, it sucks. Yeah, it's a tragedy. You know, like now we run and grab a cup of coffee as we want it or whatever we want. Yeah, it's a tragedy. You can't do it. You know? It's crazy.

So, how did you get through your day? Was there points that you wanted to start eating? I just had a rough, rough day. I come home, you got to do a podcast for me. All right, I got to take my son to wrestling. Because Gino, this Gino just makes up the rules as he goes. Like he decided he's going to this very high end like practice wrestling practice on the off season. So So like he goes to football practice after school, like his lifts and his weight thing. And then he comes home and he's like, all right, who's taking me? And it's 40 minutes away.

So by the time you drop them off, you might as well sit there and wait the hour before you like turn around and come back home. So now Gina was like, you have to take me there tonight. I originally had someone else scheduled for today that I had to cancel. I had to cancel because it was scheduled for a different time. I wasn't able to make it. So I did kind of throw Joe Gorg in last minute, but people, I have to be honest in my messages on Instagram, they just beg for you. Anyway, they love the

couples they love when the two of us are together. Honey why do you have to turn everything into this? You know do you bag? I mean I want you to bag a little bit. Small easy changes in your skincare routine can have amazing results and your secret weapon should be Dime Beauty. We all know that the search for quality skincare is an exhausting one but trust me Dime Beauty is a place you need to check out. Dime Beauty is clean high-end skincare that is affordable and it really works. Dime didn't sacrifice performance just to make it clean either. And when I say clean Dime is 100% transparent about every single ingredient so you can use their products daily with confidence.

So I wanted to take the guesswork out of my routine. So I started with their works collection. I don't have to remember the order of a 10 step routine. No one has time for that. I especially do not. The work system is everything you need in one powerful package. It includes a gentle cleanser, a toner, two incredible serums, and two luxurious moisturizers. They have everything, serums, cleaners, creams, and even tinted glow sunscreen,

which by the way is my absolute favorite. Dime has over 2 million happy customers and their product reviews are literally all five stars. Love your skin again, Go to dimebeautyco.com to unlock your discount. That's dimebeautyco.com. I think it's about time to check out Dime. So I have pulled up on the screen for you. What is that? Well, our producer, Brett, has pulled up on the screen what it looks like to have a colonoscopy and where that pole is going to enter Joe. Do I gotta shave my ass now? Oh God, please. Should I get it all prepped up?

I don't wanna hear any of this. I gotta buzz it up tonight. Do you guys wanna hear the funniest thing? So he calls me before, we're gonna talk about this screen, but I have so much to say. So he calls me before like I'm dying, go get me like bone marrow. And I'm like, bone marrow?

The hell is that? And he's like, bone marrow. I'm like, I think you mean chicken broth. Like you want to eat chicken broth. What the hell? And it's good for you. It's chicken broth. Yeah, I just had some chicken broth. So wait, so I go into this store to get it just now and who goes walking past me in their full doctor's outfit? The guy who was gonna give him the colonoscopy. I was like, oh my God. I'm like, hi doc, Joe's dying because we live in the same town, the doctor. I'm like, he's so hungry.

He's like, tell him, you know, 24 more hours. You know? This guy, shh, this know, 24 more hours. You know, this guy, this guy, here's the worst part. My doctor is from my town. So he said four or five appointments up with all these doctors in town. One doctor I go to see him shoves his finger right up my real deep. Well, because that's checking for something called palate. I mean, I screamed like a little girl. I did.

It hurts so bad. Now I see this guy at the football games, at the wrestling thing. It's like, oh, doc, what's up, baby? Oh my God, stop. Me and him. Only you would be weird. Me and him, we got a little like... That would be funny if we told them the story of when I was pregnant with Antonia and what you said to the doctor as she was checking me internally with her hand

to make sure that I was okay. That was the most embarrassing day of my life. Joe was sitting there at my first doctor's appointment when I was pregnant with Antonia with my first child. And of course she has to go in with her fingers and gloves and check your cervix, whatever it is. I don't know. She got to go in there. Joe's sitting in the chair, you know, in the chair in the doctor's room and he goes, Oh, you're making me jealous. I almost died. My embarrassed. I was this. I could not my words. Proper doctor. She's a proper doctor. She's not the type. Came out of Harvard University. Yeah. Like she was not the one for jokes.

She wasn't like a funny like she just I she froze. I froze. And so then I proceed to say to break the weird awkward silence. I was like, he's such an ass. And she just ignored us both and kept doing the checkup. But I did say like he's such an ass. She'll never forget me. She'll never forget me. She will never forget you is right. Anyway, let's get back to this photo

that we're looking at here on the screen. This will be injected into your body and it will go through, through, through, through into all of that. And there you go. Okay. So that's what's going to happen to you. They're going to put you to sleep and you actually need to be driven home tomorrow. You can't drive yourself home. Notice how they don't show the guy's face because you know, are you going to pick me up? Sure, honey. I will pick you up from your colonoscopy. Of course I will And this is proud of you for doing it They shove it you don't have to do it again for another what five years that they say or nine years

It's ten years, right? So it's like once every ten years you can You know once every ten years you got to do the little booty thing. That's all darling I went to the doctor yesterday, right? And he's like pull your pants down. I put my pants down You know, once every 10 years, you gotta do the little booty thing. That's all, darling. I went to the doctor yesterday, right, and he's like, pull your pants down. I pulled my pants down. He was like, oh my God. Oh my God, he makes jokes.

Ha ha ha, you're so funny. He did, he was like, holy shit. Wait, are you looking at my cotton candy grapes right now, wishing you can have one? He goes, what are you gonna do with that thing? I go, listen, I walk it every day. This is, what? Oh, you're so,, wait. Oh, let's shoot to this. Joe has a comedy show guys. He has a comedy show in

Pennsylvania on Saturday night. This Saturday. What's the website they can go to? It's Potswood. Potswood. Yeah, but you should give me the website that they can. So Joe's so Joe's comedy club. How you spell it? And Potswood. Oh, we're gonna give me the website that they can soul Joel's so Joe's comedy club how you spell it and Potswood Oh, we're gonna give you the spelling so in case anybody's out in, Pennsylvania And they want to go see Joe Gorgon on Saturday night. There are some tickets left Yeah, you can go see Joe on Saturday night. We just need to give you I want to give him the correct spelling of like the website Real quick, you know, you know, it's you got to have the biggest balls to do this.

Right. You're crazy. I think he's not. I love this. He thinks it's so fun. I love it. So Joel's. Where is it here? I don't know how to do this. So it's sold Joel's. So S.O.U.L. J.O.E.L.S. Dot com. OK, so go to souljoles.com. It's in Pottstown, Pennsylvania.

If you want to go see Joe, that's where you go see him this Saturday night. It should be fun. Oh, it's Pottstown. Oh, that's where it is. They smoke a lot of pot there, baby. Yeah, it's Pottstown. I'm going to smoke some pot that night. Pottstown, Pennsylvania.

What's this? Look at this one. Look, look, guys. Look, she's going through my phone instantly. Potsdown, Pennsylvania. What's this? This one, look, look guys, look. She's going through my phone instantly. You know? She's like, she's, she's, she's going through my phone. She's like, what's this?

And then she'll do like a snapshot of it, right? She'll take a picture. Yeah. Like I'm doing something. I love when he hands me his phone. Cause I, I just go through it. Look at her, she's going through my phone. You know, I know, you shouldn't hand me your phone, especially when I'm like, you know who goes to their Their spouse's phone everybody every girl. They're just not I just am okay digging to everything

Let's see. I don't even know what what's twin city. What are you in? Oh, she's on whatsapp guys She's going to WhatsApp. Oh, what's Twin City? She thinks I got like codes in there. You know what? I like, I kind of, I don't get mad. I used to get mad, but now I get flattered. Thank you. You're welcome. That 20 years later, you're still so jealous.

You wouldn't be flattered if you were doing something wrong. So it's good that you're flattered. You still want me. You still, you still, oh my God, you're so afraid if somebody takes this chunk of a man. This is what I meant when I said emotional. Welcome to the emotional, dramatic. I think I forgot the word dramatic

when doing your introduction. We forgot the emotional dramatic. I think I forgot the word dramatic when doing your introduction. We forgot the word dramatic. Okay, so. What's twin cities? Let's hope. Is there any shot that you wouldn't be able to go Saturday because of all of this doctors work you're doing? I don't know. Or no?

You think you're fine, right? I think you'll be fine. I have no idea what's gonna happen to me. What if I don't wake up? People don't. Oh Jesus. Joe, please don't say things like that. That is like, come on now. I'm saying they go into these tests and things happen. God forbid, say God forbid.

God forbid, you know. Well let's stop saying that now. Better give me a big kiss before I go and take care of me so you remember me. All right, well guess what Joe, you'll be fully recovered by Sunday, right? And guess what Sunday is, everybody? It's the premiere of The Real Housewives of New Jersey.

Oh, shit. Season 14. Another year of this, baby. Can you believe that I have been, that we have been on The Real Housewives of New Jersey since 2010, the year Joey was born. Joey is just turned 14 this month and it's like So crazy or 15th year. So it's 14 years of filming that we've been doing this show, but we've been on for 12 seasons Wow, isn't it insane?

It's so crazy Andy text me a photo yesterday of my kids like just playing in the bathtub and he was like look at this It's so nostalgic. Look how little your kids are. He's like, this is me now. And I'm like, wow, it really is. What a roller coaster ride. Yeah, it's been a roller coaster ride.

And it's gonna be an awesome premiere, guys. 9 p.m. Sunday night. Listen, being on on Sunday nights is huge. That's a premiere spot on Bravo. So I'm very excited that they're putting us on on Sunday nights. It's a great season. This show is real. Everybody always asks, is it real? Yes, it's 100% real. That's why this show is so good. It really is. And there's a lot of things that go behind the scenes that people really don't know, which is pretty bad.

You know, and if you pop your head on that internet right now and dig a little bit, you'll find out. Oh yeah, I'm sure you guys are seeing like, some of the crazy shenanigans that are going on right now on Instagram. Should we call them Instagram nanigans? It's going on on Twitter too, or X as they call it now. It's obviously the elephant in the room.

There are a lot of things going on. There's a lot of things out there right now about cast mates and episodes. I know there was a lot of things we spoke about guys that you can remember possibly like last year where there was a lot of haters around and a lot of lies about Joe and I on social media and just a lot of hate that seems really unnecessary, like super, super unnecessary. And like people who are fans of The Real Housewives of New Jersey, it never added up that there was like these five to ten accounts that would just hate

heavily and heavily on especially me, Joe and Margaret, like especially. And you know, that has all come to light right now that they, you know, were told to do these things. So I, um, I can't say much more. Everyone has eyes. You can go check it out. But it's unfortunate. So.

It's a shame. It's a shame. That's that. And you know what? I looked, when we watched this. Vindication, that's the word that I think I'm gonna use. I did a lot of press this yesterday. I did a lot of press.

But I think vindication is a huge word for us right now. Huge. Yeah, well tune into this year because it's going to be a doozy. Imagine an app designed to make you use it less seems counterproductive, no? Well apartments.com's instant alert feature works exactly that way. Instead of scanning rental listings a million times a day, simply set and forget your search to whatever you're looking for in a place and let apartments.com do the rest.

From pet friendly apartments to balconies to in-unit ACs, apartments.com's powerful search tools let you know when your perfect combination of features you're seeking is listed. So you don't have to power through rental descriptions one by one. With more rental listings than anywhere else, Apartments.com's instant alerts mean you can spend less time online looking for the perfect place and more time doing you.

And Apartments.com has more than just apartments. They have all kinds of homes from houses to townhouses to condos to apartments and everything in between. They've helped millions of renters find their perfect place to live. The ones that check off all their own personal boxes. So check it out. Apartments.com the place to find a place. But let's talk about that movie, right? It's the same thing that was going on.

That movie that we just watched, we went to the premiere. What was it? The idea of what? The idea of you. Okay. So there's this 40 year old woman that met this 24 year old guy and the hate that she got on social media because she was dating this guy. And they were mad that he liked her and she was 40 and like, they were like, you're with a Kruger, you're with an old one. one and like and her daughter started to get embarrassed at school and all these things so we don't want to give away. No but what I'm trying I'm not we don't give the whole movie away but what I'm saying is people can be so evil for no reason.

I mean there's two people that fell in love and they really love each other. Why can't everybody just get along and be nice? And if someone succeeds, let them succeed. If someone fails, then they fail. Don't be happy because they failed. Just live life. You know? Yeah.

This is what I've learned, Joe. People who are, I mean, not everyone is completely happy in this world. No, but people who are content and happier in their lives, they tend not to spew hate. It's the people who truly are miserable that go out there and spew hate to others and want others to feel the way they feel and it's unfortunate. And I won't say that about everyone.

I'm sure there's a lot of people out there in unfortunate situations or in positions that they're not happy and that they don't spew hate and they're still happy for others. But most of those people out there, you are not a happy person if you are having people hate on other people or if you yourself are spewing hate, you cannot be happy on the inside. It's impossible. How could I be happy and feel fulfilled in life and also say, but I wanna break someone else down.

Someone I might not, someone I've never met or don't know. There's even like these podcasters out there that just spew hate and they've never met us. Everything they say is a lie. Everything is so biased and untrue. It's one side. If we do it, if it's a big deal, if their favorites do it, it's nothing. It's a joke and it gives them zero validity and it gives them like zero... It's like we know, we got your number bro. Keep it moving girls. Keep it moving.

We see right through you. People are listening to you because they're bored and nobody gives a shit what you say anymore. These hater podcasters have run through the river and are washed out. You couldn't turn people if you tried because everyone knows it's fake and everyone knows that there's sides and that you speak on the phone to people and whoever speaks on the phone to certain podcasts. It's very obvious. And I feel bad for these people

who take that kind of time out of, I hope you're making a ton of money. Because then I would feel guilty if I were these people. If I had children, I'd be like, oh my God, I'm spewing so much hate onto this family. And I would always think in my heart, I hope nothing comes back to my kids, because I believe in karma, right Joe?

So if I was being a bad person to someone and people I don't even know, and there's podcasts out there that do this and they tweet and they say things, I would always think about my kids and be like, you know what? I might not get the hate back but something's gonna happen later down the line to my child or my children cuz I'm Karma's a bitch and I wouldn't do it. These people have no clue. They don't even care about their kids. It's like insanity It's very sad terrible. But you know what you can't control

We can't control the world like this it is what it is But you can't control the fact that everyone's calling it out, sees it, knows it. So it doesn't matter literally if they say like, I just saw Melissa Gorga like run her car into a nursery. Like no one would believe that because no one even cares what they say anymore. You know, so it's like a joke and they did it to themselves. These people are like pebbles in your shoes. They only exist by irritating and causing you pain.

So kick them out of your shoes and ignore them. They suck. You understand? They do suck. I actually really like that. Let's kick them out and ignore them. Ignore them. Yeah, doll.

Not a little annoying thing. That's what they are. Anyway, how do you like my tagline this year? Our taglines are out. What is it? I don't even know your tagline. What is it? What's your tagline? It's hard not to burn bridges when you're on fire. You like it? It's one of my favorites. I will say my absolute favorite tagline was, I never throw the first punch, but I'm always the knockout. That was my absolute favorite tagline. Do you remember all the taglines?

No, I don't. There was two that I thought were so useless and couldn't, like, I was like, ew, I hate this. And we do have people that kind of like suggest, well, they make us say like two or three different taglines and they kind of make it up whether it comes from NBC or Bravo or 30 Rock or wherever it's coming from and they you know kind of goes to what goes on with you during the season that's usually who has a good tagline the other best one i'll give you one more that I really love is Margaret's. I think Margaret's is so funny. She says while you're taking cheap shots, I'm taking

screenshots. Oh, that's good. And it's so her. Like she is taking screenshots believe you that. I like that. Yeah. So I love that. So what would be your next one down? So I love that. So what would be your next one down? I'd like hers the best. And then my next favorite would probably be, I think Dolores because it's I'm a girl from Patterson playing Switzerland and dating an Irishman. I think that's kind of great too because she is Switzerland.

Like you never know Dolores loves all. She won't pick a side. And she is, I think it's funny. I do like that one. So those are my top three. Mine included in that. If you envy my wife, you'll envy my life. Did you just come up with that on your own?

You like that? That's actually really good. How about that? Oh my God, we have to tell people that that's your tagline. You like that? If you envy my, we say it again? If you envy my wife, you envy my life. Did I just, is that what I said?

I don't think so. You said my life first. If you envy my life. No, so you're confusing me now. If you envy my wife, you envy my life. No, you're confusing me now. If you envy my wife, you envy my, what the hell? Yeah, but whatever, it was cute. I like your tagline, Joe, that was very cute. Did you like that?

So anyway, we're having a fun premiere party Sunday at Margaret Joseph's house. She is throwing a big party. We're gonna have her soiree is gonna be there. She's getting a DJ. There's gonna be 120 people at Margaret's house on Sunday for the premiere. As far as Housewives go, I think it's Jen Fessler's going. Delores is going. We are going. Rachel and John are away, so they're not coming. And that's it, I think. And Delores, did I say Delores? Jen Fessler. Yes. Danielle is doing her own thing. She's throwing a different party. So I think it's going to be such a fun day. My whole entire family is invited. Like all of my cousins, my sisters, my mother, they're all coming. So I'm so excited to see them.

Is everyone coming? All my friends are invited too. She invited like my whole crew, which I thought was very sweet of Margaret. So my whole crew all my girlfriends everyone it's a funny word. It's Cinco de Mayo. So I say we pregame right at like some like Cinco de Mayo type spot. Where we gonna go? I don't know bro. We don't want to say it out loud. Cinco de Mayo! I like that. We're gonna drink spicy margaritas. Oh, I'm dying for a margarita right now.

You can't have it. Are you hungry? I'm dying for some rice and beans. Wait, how hungry are you? Oh, I'm dying for a margarita right now. You can't have it. Are you hungry? I'm dying for some rice and beans. Wait, how hungry are you? Oh, I'm so hungry. No, for real, like what are you feeling? I just keep looking at those grapes. Oh, I'm sorry. I want to burn into that grape.

I'm looking at, I want something. You can't even work out today, right? You're too weak. I'm weak, I'm tired. I had a stressful day. I'm just tired. Yes, you little cutie. I need a massage.

I actually feel bad for him. He's a pretty tough guy. He is definitely sluggish today. I've never seen him like this. What's the first thing you're going to eat when I drive you home from that colonoscopy? What are you going to want to eat?

I don't know. I'm going to stop somewhere and eat something. Something. I don't even care. I don't know why I'm gonna stop somewhere and eat something. Something good. Something, something, I don't even care. I don't know why I'm thinking of a tail of ham, egg and cheese on a bagel. When I'm hungry, I'm just thinking of all kinds of stuff. You want pork roll, egg and cheese? Fries with gravy and cheese, oh, some fattening stuff.

All right, so we'll go to the diner, how's that? I just wanna tear it up. Let's go out to dinner when you're done. We'll go to early dinner. Is that a good idea? Yeah, tomorrow? Yeah dinner when you're done. We'll go to early dinner Yeah tomorrow. Yeah when you get out of your colonoscopy Man, you know, I don't know You know, what if I don't get out? Why do you this is not funny? Like I actually don't think it's funny that you keep saying that

Jesus you guys stop put me to sleep. Okay, but stop put stop saying these words Wait, you want to hear something funny? My mother called me today and she's so funny. She's like, Hi, so I'm coming to the party. You know, me and an angel and my aunt angel is my mother's sister and they look like twins. They're like six years apart, but they actually look like twins. And they're so funny. We call them the Bob C twins, whatever. She's like, so for Margaret's party, like, I'm gonna wear this little black dress, but an angel is gonna wear the same. And we're gonna come like twinning. And she's like, okay,

and I'm like, I guess mom, she's like, well, I'm telling you, because I don't want you to yell at me when I walk in, and then be mad that I look stupid or something. And like me and an angel have the same dress on. I'm like, you're fine mom, wear the same dress. I think it's cute. She's like, okay. That's cute.

70 years old, poppin', she is awesome. Look, she's excited to go and have a night and like go to a party. Yeah man, I love that. Isn't that cute? Yeah, so definitely guys, you just said, definitely wanna watch The Real Housewives of New Jersey Sunday night

I'm trying to think what else what else? Oh, I know what I want you guys to do for me Joke work is on with me next week just because we had you scheduled you were not scheduled this week honey But you are with me next week. So start DMing me what? Conversation no, no, no. No, here's what we're doing next week. We're taking phone calls next week. We are that's what we're gonna do Yes, is it that easy shit up, baby? It's not that easy. We have to like set it up No, we don't well the phone here. Don't worry. Okay. Well in the meantime if that we can't make that happen in seven days Why we might be able to and I will put that on Instagram if we can but in the meantime

Message me and let me know. Give me some subjects again, what you would like Joe and I to discuss on the podcast because you guys do love it and we want you to be happy with what we're talking about and you guys have so many subjects you suggest. So let me know. Okay. We love you guys so much. Gino needs to go to wrestling.

Joe needs to eat his. I'm going to go eat some jello right now. Yes, you're allowed to have jello andoscopy. We love you so much, Joey G. So embarrassed. And say goodbye to everybody and tell them how appreciative you are of all of them. Bye, everybody. I'm so appreciative of you. I love you guys, because I know you're going to pray for me. I feel it.

I feel it. I love you guys. Yes. OK. Bye, guys. Ciao. Bye. Ciao.

Arrivederci. I'm Caitlin Bristow, host of Off the Vine podcast where I get real, maybe a little too real sometimes, with my friends and celeb guests from Bachelor franchise and beyond. I'm talking guests like Jonathan Van Ness, Nikki Glaser, Wells Adams, Elise Myers, Heidi D'Amelio, Big Brothers Taylor Hale. Just like in this like business jacket, like I would love some tacos. Heidi D'Amelio, Big Brothers Taylor Hale. I have to bring it up because it happened and we're going to get through it. What I do. And so many more. So come hang out with us, hear ridiculous confessions and get a little vulnerable because

you know what? We're all just floating on this weird little planet together. Follow, rate and review Off the Vine Vine podcasts wherever you listen to your podcasts. Pluto TV has over 300 channels and thousands of TV shows and movies for whatever mood you're in. Just open the app and something good will already be playing because it's curated by people who love TV as much as you do. So if you're in the mood for comedy, there's 18 channels that'll make you laugh. Looking for drama?

We got so much of it, you'll cry tears of joy. Reality shows, game shows, sports, Star Trek, and even more Star Trek. No matter what mood you're in, there's something on Pluto TV. Just download the app and start streaming. Pluto TV, stream now, pay never.