On Display with Melissa Gorga - Real, Not Raunchy (w/ Joe Gorga)

Episode Date: March 20, 2025

It's a relationship-filled episode as Melissa and Joe sit down to talk about the top things that most long-term couples will argue about, why there's a not-so-hidden agenda when it comes to cuddling, and the hilarious advice that Joe's dad gave him when it comes to relationships and marriage. This week's sponsors: Apartments.com - The Place to Find a Place: www.Apartments.com Booking.com - Find the Stay That's Ridiculously Right for You: www.Booking.com Happy Mammoth - Feel Like Yourself Again: www.HappyMammoth.com , promo code: MELISSA (15% off) Pluto.TV - Streaming TV: www.Pluto.TV (Free!) Progressive - "Name-Your-Price" Tool: www.Progressive.com  Quince – Luxury Essentials at Affordable Pricing: www.Quince.com/Melissa (Free shipping and 365-day returns)  Smalls Cat Food - Protein Packed and Preservative Free: www.Smalls.com , promo code: MELISSA (50% off first order)

This episode of on display is brought to you by booking.com booking. Yeah Every time I use booking.com to find a place to stay in the US I know they'll have exactly what I'm looking for They have a huge variety of options from hotels to vacation rentals and I'm always able to find something that fits my specific needs I've found that booking.com has something for everyone find exactly what you're looking for on booking.com booking dot yeah If I were listening to this podcast of like Joker is a freak of nature. I'm not a freak. I'm actually very normal Hi guys, welcome to another episode of On Display. I'm excited to talk to you guys.

Hope you had a great St. Patrick's Day. Shout out to everyone who bought the St. Patrick's Day sprinkle cookies. I loved seeing all your videos and I loved that even though we're such hardcore Italians over here we're able to jump into your st. Patrick's days your parties and all of that so thank you as always I love how much you guys are loving the sprinkles and again I'm just gonna tease you one more time wait till you see what's coming out for Easter it's so exciting and so fun and before I introduce my guests today I need to call all my Toronto fans that are out there. Canada, we are coming.

I am so excited about this. April 12th, it's less than a month away. We are gonna be in Toronto. Me, Joe Gorga, Frank Catania. We have such a fun show for you guys. Tickets are available now at Ticketmaster.ca. So it's Ticketmaster.Canada. And we're gonna have such a fun show.

We're gonna do a meet and greet. We're gonna do some questions live. I'm gonna host the show. Joe and Frank are gonna do some comedy. So spread the word around to all my Toronto fans out there. We cannot wait to meet you all. This is gonna be my very first time in Toronto. I have never been. So I'm super excited to come out there. We cannot wait to meet you all. This is going to be my very first time in Toronto. I have never been, so I'm super excited to come out there. So make sure you guys go to Ticketmaster.ca April 12th at the Elgin and Winter Garden Theaters.

So make sure you guys look it up. You can get the tickets on Ticketmaster and we cannot wait to come see you. I am going to be so excited to be in Toronto. So we will see you guys April 12th. Make sure you spread the word to all your Toronto people. But let's just jump right into it today with my guest. Today I have a great guest. He loves to wear a baseball hat and a mausoleil t-shirt and his name is Joe Gorga. Welcome Joe. What's up babe? I like your t-shirt. You like the mazel bae? It says mazel. I think you got that when we were on Watch It Happens Live. It was like a gift from Andy Cohen or something. I wear it all the time. It's a very comfortable t-shirt. I love it. Do you know what mazel means? Yes. What? I don't know. What do you mean? What is what is mazel mean?

I forget Joe What does mazel mean? Have Merry Christmas or something like mazel. Oh my god. I don't know. What does it mean? It means like I Maybe I'm wrong. I thought it meant congratulations I thought it meant like mazel congratulations good for fortune like it means good luck it means good fortune good luck like so when you write mazel it's like you're wishing good good fortune good luck everybody says me hey mazel I'm like mazel I kind of thought it meant like congratulations like hey ma, but like it's like if you get married,

people say Mazel, like good fortune to you, good luck. You know what I mean? So good luck, good luck. Kind of like congrats, I mean a little similar to God bless, I would say similar to God bless. No? I got lucky 20 years ago. You did get lucky.

When I met you, that's it. Haven't been lucky in a long time. Yeah, you're very lucky, guys. You're going to love this podcast. I have it. Wait till you guys hear. We're having a marriage podcast today. Oh, man.

We are talking all today about marriage, the do's and don'ts of marriage. I want your opinion. You're going to give the ladies your opinion. I'm going to give them my opinion. You can tell the men what you're thinking. Like, we are gonna give marriage advice and even, you know, a little dating advice, marriage advice for couples. We're gonna get into that in a little bit. We got a lot of marriage advice. You know, your birthday's coming up. Yes, my birthday's on. My birthday's tomorrow. Forty-fourty-fourty-one. birthdays coming up. Yes my birthday's on. My birthday's tomorrow. 40 what? No I'm in my 40s.

I'm in my early you know we were just gonna say early 40s we're going with that. No honestly I feel with age comes like such a beautiful strength and like wisdom and I don't know I actually feel good and you know what's funny? Call me crazy, but I feel like I look like I'm more happy with like, if I look at a picture, I like myself better right now. Is that normal? Like when you look at a picture, Joe,

don't you like what you look like now opposed to like the earlier days? We say that, right? But when you go back in 10 years, 15 years, 20 years from now, we looked different, but we looked good in those days. Yeah, but I look at the jeans, some of the jeans you wore. Yeah, the jeans and the way we dressed, but that was in there, so we looked good.

Remember, you used to look at yourself in the mirror and be like, damn, man, I'm going out clubbing tonight. Do you know? And you look good as hell. I go back and look at those pictures. I'm like, look at that idiot. What was I wearing? Wait? I hate now that I look back all the old episodes of Jersey and all with hair Joe I didn't like you are so much better with this head of hair that you have now. I like it

So look at this look at this Ripping off the baseball hat so everyone can see the head You know you have a nice shaped head. Not all guys could shave their head because they have like an odd, like you have a good shape for sure. That was a shocker, man. I used to take my hair up and hold my hands over my head.

You used to try to make it something. Yeah, listen, it happens to the best of us. I wish I would have known. I would have just shaved it a long time ago. What do you feel about me? Turning another year older like what's your true thoughts? Are you getting nervous? Like? Oh my god. We're getting older here We're we're growing. We're what do you feel? What do I feel I feel like I just every day I just go with it man I just take it for day by day and I live live every day. I mean listen

Business doesn't get easier, it gets harder, and you thought like as I get older, I'm like, it's gonna get easier, but it doesn't. So I'm just, my biggest, biggest thing is that I'm just grateful that I am healthy. You are healthy, our kids are healthy, and I really mean that, I'm not saying anything. So, you know, I'm gonna just say,

fuck the money, fuck everything, as not saying anything. So, you know, I'm gonna just say, fuck the money, fuck everything, as long as we're healthy, you know? And look, Joey P, my brother-in-law was just in a hospital. He was almost a month for it, he had an infection in his leg. Very scary, guys. A cut started in between his toes, and it turned into an infection up his whole leg.

That is very scary it can turn for he was there for two weeks like no it was a month a very bad and he's still suffering and he's still limping but it's on the heels on the men's now but you can get god forbid and get your leg amputated you could get like steps it you can get things in the hospital when you're there so it's like this silliest things you have no idea, right? That this, like, that's crazy. And he said, you know, I can't believe how much my health

means everything to me, because I was helpless. And I sat there doing nothing, and who cares about anything? That's why I'm, you know, listen, things go up and down the economy, and I'm dealing with it, and my business takes a big hit in it, but you know what, as long as I come home to you and I'm not just saying this, and you're happy and you're healthy, my kids are healthy, what else you want?

And we can get up and I can eat food, I'm not in the streets. We're good man, we're living good, we're happy. Are you so in love with me still? I am in love with you. I am. As much as you were in the beginning are you like I'm obsessed with her like you can never leave my side now. It's a different obsession now. It was more you know it was I was

attracted I'm attracted to you now but I guess that obsession was kind of different. Now it's more like you're my love, my life, and I've built a whole life with you, so I'm obsessed with you in that way. In every way. You're sexually obsessed with me also. I am. I'm not saying that. There's got to be a reason that you're always trying to get it.

Yeah, but you know, my sexual, I'm very horny and I have the sex drive, but I'm not as like, you know, sex, you know, like life- Like you used to let it ruin your night if you didn't have sex. Like it would literally ruin your night. When you were in your 30s, I would say, and even your 40s, like when you're 40s, like your early 40s, like it would ruin your night when you were in your 30s, I would say. And even your 40s, like in your 40s,

like your early 40s, like it would ruin your night if we went out to dinner and like we didn't have sex or if we came home, you'd be like in a bad mood, which now I know it's not that abnormal because I watch all these TikToks and I see all like these funny TikToks that these couples make and I'm like, oh my God, that's my husband.

You show me them all too. He me these tic-tacs all day long I think I think it ruins a lot of people's marriage and a lot of a lot of guys get offended You know, and that's the word offended when Your wife doesn't want to have sex. It's almost like a slap in your face. And here you are. You're a man You're going to work every day. You're grinding whatever you're doing and you you know, you're a man, you're going to work every day, you're grinding, whatever you're doing, and you have a certain sex drive. You have testosterone in your body, so you're looking. We weren't born this way. God made us this way.

Just like a dog, when a dog comes out, they're born, they start humping. Who taught them how to hump? They just know how to hump. Well, it's natural. It's called an instinct. Yeah, it's an instinct. They know how to hump. They got Oh yeah. It's called an instinct. Yeah, it's an instinct. They know how to hump.

They got this testosterone, same thing with men. So when we come home, we might, listen, men look at other women, they get attracted. They do. They get all the look at her. But when they want to come home, they want their wife. Just like women do too. They look at good looking guy, like, oh, he's handsome. He's, you know, whatever.

You probably might think of him. Who cares? As long as you come home and take your husband. Right? Yeah. whatever, you probably might think of them. Who cares? As long as you come home and take your husband, right? Yeah, I think there's many sexual needs that are like a manifestation of attention, right? We all have like sort of attention needs that we need and I think sex is one of those things. And I'm going to tell you, I'm an attention seeker because I work so much and You know, I like to come home and I feel like I grind all day. It's like a 14-hour day just Hardcore and when you come home, what do I have to look forward to?

Right. Let's think about that as a man if you're out there all day in the trenches Working working working and you can't be a man all day or whatever so you gotta come home and you least want that you know 15 minutes 20 minutes it could be 10 minutes. Do you think it's necessary for us to have it every day because I mean if it were up to you we probably would. If we could if you came home every day like in a decent mood you'd want to have sex every day if it wasn't annoying to your wife to have sex every day, I think you would want to.

But let me ask you something. Do you eat every day? Yes, I do. Okay, do you drink water? You have a coffee every day? Yes, I do. You need it, right? It's like-

Yeah, I'm not gonna die if I don't have sex. I'm gonna die if I don't eat or drink water. Well, same shit, same shit. No, it's not the same. It's all mental. It's a mental game. No, no, no, no. And it's a mental game for you too.

So as a woman, when you're loved and a man wants you and you have sex with, you feel different throughout the day. You might not think, oh, I just had sex last night and I feel good. No, you are just happier. So let me ask you this. Do you think it's men like you, men who don't cheat, right? That just come home, they really want their wife So let me ask you this, do you think it's men like you, men who don't cheat, right?

That just come home, they really want their wife and they work hard all day and they just want to come home and have their wife. Is that more normal for men like you or do you think men that actually have a side piece or do something still want to come home and still want their wives to? Like with the new book. Oh, this is a trick question. Look at me. Trick question. That's not a trick question. I want to know really. Because we have different

friends in different relationships and family members in different relationships and I just want to know. And I think women out there would like to hear your opinion. Okay, so I look at it this way. I think if a guy's out there cheating and doing this thing, but he's still obsessed with his wife because your wife is your wife, right? She doesn't smell like other women. Other women. Yeah, she doesn't smell like another woman.

That's your wife. It's a different kind of whatever, which I wouldn't know because I haven't had it in a long time, but I'm just saying. You haven't had what in a long time? Another woman? Yeah, I haven't had another woman, but I know when you're with the same woman it's just like I smell you and it's it's you know I'm sure if I went with another woman to be awkward for me you know so she's gonna smell different she's gonna feel

different she's gonna taste different I mean why are we even discussing this and I hear I hear this about other men. You know, men say, you know, that cheat their wives to wives. But some wives- Yeah, but what does that mean? I don't understand. So, okay, so it's like, I cheat, but nobody's my wife. Like that's some fucked up shit.

Yeah, but some wives, they turn them away, you know? So they might not have sex for two weeks. Well, we're gonna talk about that. We're gonna talk about marriages where there's no sex in the marriage and then is it okay to like I okay? We didn't get to that subject yet Joe Who doesn't love the good things in life, even though I enjoy a little luxury It's always nice when I find something affordable that I also love that's how I discovered quince Quince is my go-to for luxury essentials

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for 50% off your first order plus free shipping. What we're talking about right now is men who truly are attracted to their wives, right? Do have sex with their wives. Their wives don't turn them down, okay? I'm asking you about that marriage type of marriage first. So like what goes on with that? Like why is there some marriages out there or why we both know there's definitely men out there who have a wife that has sex with them and

Enjoys them and they have sexual like love for each other, but they still cheat That's just that you know that guy is just he's going out there, and he's just he it's like the kill He's going out for the kill And that's what that's what that's what his drive is and his drive is to go out there. It sounds like the kill. He's going out for the kill. And that's what his drive is. And his drive is to go out there and- It sounds like a very selfish human being to me. It sounds like one of those, you're never gonna give that man enough, if you ask me.

Because if he's getting it on the side and then he comes home and he really truly is not like, I'll have a separate conversation about a guy who's unattracted to his wife and he's just is not like, I'll have a separate conversation about a guy who's unattracted to his wife and he's just in like a sister, I met her when she was young, I love her, but like I don't have a sexual attraction for her. I'll have that as a separate talk. I'm talking about the guy who is attracted to his wife, does have sex with his wife, is attracted to her, and still cheats. Like why would a man do that?

But there's, we're not gonna just pencil out a guy because women are the same way. You know that, right? There's marriages of women also that need that extra. You know? So it's both. It's, you know, I'm not trying to be, you know, I'll win it too. No, it's, I know, I got stories, I know stories, I know people that, you know, the wives are out there

doing their thing too. They need it, they need it. Just certain, certain people just need certain things. Like you might need certain things, right? And that's certain people, they just, they need that extra. It's not enough. You know? Yeah, that's-

I'm enough, I'm enough. I'm, you know, I'm enough. I'm kind of scared of you because if I did you'd probably cut it off. I don't want you to say that you're just scared of me. I want you to be like I would never take that chance. That's a huge chance. It's a big chance and I deal with enough shit every day and I have no desire. Even if you had someone who was completely on your side, right? Like the other person

completely agreeing with you saying like, listen, I'm married, you're married, I'm never gonna really want you, you're never gonna really want me, we're just having this like fun thing on the side. Like that is very scary too. That is something that like, that's super, super scary to get into. I think, yeah, I just think that like marriage is your biggest commitment, your biggest contract you're gonna make in your life. And if you really, you know, fuck with it, it sucks. It's scary. It's a whole, you know, you're moving out of your house, your kids are getting affected,

your whole life's affected. It's upside down. And the biggest thing is the grass is not greener on the other side. And I think that that, you know, sometimes people go through phases in life and someone gave me this advice once. They were talking about just marriages and ups and downs and they're like, as long as you're both not at a low point at the same time, the other one always has to pull one back

and kind of say like, what are you doing? And this is why marriages go up and down. But if you're both at the low or doing something wrong at the same time, that's when the marriage usually ends. But as long as one is pulling the other one back and kind of snapping sense back into them, whether it be some type of forgiveness or whatever it is, it doesn't necessarily have to be cheating.

It can be the way they're zoning out or treating them or, or cheating or whatever. As long as one is pulling them back. That's, that's always the key. And you know, this Joe, I saw, um I saw Chris Kardashian Chris Jenner literally said her worst like she I think she was in her early 40s when she left her husband and she just recently said like her daughter asked her Chloe said like why did you go like why did and she goes to this day it was the biggest my biggest regret in life like I loved, I loved hanging with him,

he gave me everything I need, I had all my girls with him, my family with him, whatever it was, and I just thought it would be fun and I needed excitement and I thought the grass was gonna be greener and I needed this to get me through like whatever, a couple hours of the day, and she's like biggest regret I ever made.

Like if someone told me then what I know now, and I think that's a lot of people feel that way and if you can get through that little phase and like whatever it is talk sense into yourself if you're thinking you want to leave, that's huge. You know my father always used to say to me, you have a wife, right? And my dad adored his wife and my dad was a stud when he was single and he was very cool-looking and he's always planted into my head he goes listen whatever your wife has between her legs the other woman has

the same thing he goes okay some move a little different oh my god you show your wife to move like that he goes but, it's always gonna be the same. Unbelievable. So stick with your wife. You know what I mean? Because either way you're gonna get it. Just tell her what you like. Yeah, he goes, that's all the same.

Oh my God, oh my God. Because it's all the same, so just be with your wife. I can completely hear him saying that, like, no a cheetah. Either way you're you gotta this a girl Is that a girl? It's all of the same So I look at it like listen, we've been married 20 years and for 20 years I've treated you a certain way, right? I've came home and I've made you my everything I've given you love I've given you attention and when what I wanted, if I wanted to go to the strip club, I made I came home

and I made you dance for me. I said, dance for me. Come on. Never dance for you make these people think I put a show on in the bedroom. No, his one thing is like, so some guys prefer you butt naked. And they do they want to see you naked. Joe is a like if he likes a lingerie, he likes a g-string, he'll literally because I have this thing like when I'm going to bed at night I put no undergarments on at all. I wear like I want loose clothing, no bras, no underwear, nothing and Joe if you know if he wants to have sex or we're gonna have sex he's always like go go go like, go put a thong on.

And I'm like, oh my God, you're just gonna take it off. But he wants to see, he likes the visual. You're a visual guy. Well, I like a visual and I like the respect too. Like if you say to me, if I tell you go do this and you're doing it and you're making me happy, I love that, I respect that for you. And I'm like, look at my wife. Like if you ask me to do something, I'm gonna do it and you're doing it and you're making me happy. I love that, I respect that for you. And I'm like, look at my wife.

Like if you ask me to do something, I'm gonna do it for you. And that's what a relationship is. It's not like, oh, come on, just get it over with. I mean, and there's nights that it is, it's not always peaches and cream. There's definitely maintenance sex. It's not always go put a thong on, it's maintenance.

It's like, hurry up, you got three minutes. Like, let's go. I look at it this way I look at actually being a nice wife because that's me not in the mood and really could care less and if you just watch and Read the books and whatever. It's a fact that men want more sex than women. It's a fact Well, not necessarily there's a lot of nine times out of ten there are we do have some friends that they're like no I Wanted he's always tired and we we're like, really, but I look at it this way. I look at it like, listen, we live one life. You're with that person. You're with him every day. No cuddle. Let's cuddle. I love a cuddle. We've I know you guys. I

know you ladies hear me out there. There's no such thing as cuddling. Like I love to cuddle cuddle, but once we get in the bed and the cuddle starts, it just always goes right into something else. There's no such thing as a cuddle. Yeah, so let me tell everybody about that. So for the first, I don't know, 10, 12, 15 years, she tried not to cuddle me.

Because she knew if we were gonna cuddle, it was on. It was on right. Yeah, it meant like, and I love to cuddle. I'm a cuddler, but I'm like- But I think that's wrong. You screwed yourself. I could barely get in the bed at night sometimes cause it's just like hands go.

But what is the big deal? Listen, let's- The big deal is I don't wanna make a production. I wanna be rubbed on my leg or something and I wanna be hugged. I wanna go to sleep. But what's the big deal if you're just like, all right, slide it down and let's go for fun.

No, no, no, no, no, no, see. It's a quick like a- Don't manipulate me, that is manipulated. But see, that's the problem, that's the problem. It's like you, you wanna go do something. I'm like, I don't wanna do it, but I do it. Also, we're putting like, hate to be like- You'll make me like-

Hate to be gross but like or whatever What's the word called TMI? But like you're putting something inside right of me how much you think I could just like you can't just of course You would do it every freaking day if you could not me Well, if you want it you got to do the work like that's it. If you want it, you got to put the motion of the ocean and all that because oh my God, I believe, I believe our relationship has been strong for the past 20 years. That's because of our sexual life.

You've always said that. And I mean that. But it's also our, like, so listen, I have girlfriends that will talk to me about, yes, we were very sexually connected, but we do a lot together. And we have girlfriends and friends of ours that get, not jealous, envious of that. They're very much so like, I can't believe how you guys do so much together and you actually want to be together. Like you actually want to go to the movies together on a Friday night with no other friends. You guys actually want to just stay home on the couch and watch TV together.

And I think, yes, you're focusing in or zeroing in on the sex, but I'm talking about the fact that you and I really do hang out like friends. I think it was like a couple nights ago, Joe goes, we were at home or something on a Friday night and you said something like, look at us, it's just me and you we're just like best friends like we just watch a movie together Yeah Look at us. It's just me and you kid like but listen you got to pick and choose in life You got to pick like I'm with you. You're my wife That's a Jersey thing you say by the way you, you say, I'm with you. Like, no, I'm with you. I'm with you. You said I'm

with you. Like, he's like, yo, I'm with you. I'm with you. I'm with you. Yeah, no, I don't say you never know. I know. But it sounds like you were gonna know but I'm with you. All right. You're my wife. You're my best friend. I always say you're my best friend. And let's let's make memories together. Let's hang out together and it's it's much easier. Listen, there's guys nights. Yes. But what am I going to do? How many times can you go out on a guy's night? Like, you know what, you know what, these days you get in trouble. You can't even look at it. I know. That's why

you don't like a guy's night because to you a guy's night means flirt with other girls. You don't just enjoy the conversation with men Like you need to sit with the men and talk to the men and have guy like when I go for a girls night We don't even look we we literally talk all night at the table order a Cosmo And I think guys do we think we're out in the bar and buying drinks for girls. Oh my god. I will slice you One of the hardest parts of getting older is feeling like something's wrong with your body, but not really knowing what. Everything just feels off. And I've come to realize it's not just aging.

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it be okay if you went out with your girls and I went out with my friends, my boys one night and you're like, all right, go flirt, but don't do nothing. Just flirt, tell the girl she's beautiful, tell her she's hot, check her out. No, I would not want my man out telling a girl she was beautiful. Tell she's not I would not want my man out telling a girl. She was beautiful Come home and take care of business How about you? Would you like that? Would you want me to go up to a guy and tell him how hot he was and like? No, if a guy came up to you said I want to buy you a drink and I'm married

Have you been have men bought you drinks? Have you been when you've been out? I would know so if so if a guy comes up to me like hey Can I buy you a drink? To me that's like to me that's like me and you are gonna step aside and have a conversation like no that would be a hard no Joe that's cheating. Wait wait wait wait so you tell me if you're at the bar and a guy's like I'll buy this around. Well if he's on the other end of the bar a lot of times they know me yeah they'll send us drinks I don't find that that's nice. How, if he's on the other end of the bar, a lot of times they know me. Yeah, they'll send us drinks. I don't find that. That's nice. Next year. No, I it's what do you say

now? Joe, if I'm if I'm talking to you, if a guy comes up to me and it's like, Hi, how you doing? What's your name? He doesn't know that I'm Melissa Gorgia, right? He doesn't know he doesn't watch your house. And he's like, Can I buy you a drink? But if I say yes, I'm totally going to the bar with a guy so he can buy me a drink and we can talk and learn more about each other. Like, are you kidding me? So if a girl didn't know you were Joe Gorga and she walked up to you because she thought

you were hot and she was like, hey, like, can we talk? Like, want to buy me a drink? And you were like, yeah, let's go. What? I'll blow the whole restaurant up. Like, are you kidding me? Are you trying to say that that's okay? No, I'm and that's horrific. That's horrible. That's, that's you going, you know what you're asking for? Trouble. Because once you in this person or I in this person take steps away, we're sitting alone together at a bar, now we're flirting, now we're learning about each other,

now we're sharing a cocktail, inappropriate. I'm sorry, inappropriate. I know you would, you think I'm, is that cool if I do that? No, I've never done it, but I'm just asking a question, so. Okay, well there's your answer. Do you agree with that answer or do you think it's okay if I do that I mean if there's no

if you're not thinking of any like all right I'm hooking up or I want no I mean all right so if a guy says to me seriously he sees me in a club he probably thinks I'm pretty and he walks over to me and he says hey can I buy you a drink and him and I walk to the bar, sit down and the guy buys me drinks. You're telling me that's fine? No, no, no, you're not listening. You're sitting at the bar. You're sitting at a bar and he's right next to you. Want to buy a drink? You want to drink? No, I'm good. I got my own money, mother. I got my own money. Like I'm good. I don't need you to buy

me a drink. How about that? Okay, I I'm sorry that's what I feel that married people should say and I do feel like if you're a married guy at the bar and there's three girls next to you and you're sitting at the bar with your best friend and you got three girls next to you guys and they're like oh hey guys and you guys are like hey can we buy you girls a drink? Inappropriate absolutely not you are not spending money on the girls at the bar it's inappropriate. So is porn like watching porn on your phone? Ah, it's, it's a lot of women get insulted with porn because they're not like their husband doesn't have sex with them.

They watch porn instead. But like, if you're doing it as like your own little, listen, if I had to pick a vice, right, if I had to say like, would I rather my husband be out a lot with his friends and buying girls drinks? Or would I rather him like, watch porn when he's alone or like while he's driving home from work or something? I'm gonna pick, I hope he just like looks at porn

and then comes home and has sex with me. Like if I had to pick. I've done that. Ew. I've done that, yeah. Yeah, I believe you have, yes. Because I knew you were gonna pick. You know what, I've caught it guys. I've've done that. Yeah. Yeah.

I believe you have. Yes. Because I know you were going to bitch. You know what? I've caught it guys. I've caught it on his phone. Like, you know when you don't shut down all your apps and I'm like, oh, what is this? Like, what are you, what are you looking at?

Like, I find it very insulting because he would get so jealous even though the guy is untouchable and I can't reach the guy. If I were watching penises on porn Just because I'm home alone. Nobody's home yet. Just watching You know, I'm watching these penises right now cuz I'm bored and like I'm gonna have sex with you later But for now, I'm looking at um, you know guy number two's penis and like it's so fun You'd be like, are you fucking kidding? I actually you would not like it I think I would be no you would like it if you were doing it with me and you were getting excited I didn't say I was doing it with you. I would like it. No, you know

I'm what I'm trying saying if I did it without you like you do like if I were just Like putting on porn like I'm sure you do putting on porn taking care of myself just because when meanwhile me and you have a very healthy sex relationship right sometimes guys gotta take care of themselves cuz you know we know it's like all right she's not a mood tonight you know and I'll get over a skip a night would you there was a there was a time I got you into porn and you like no I did you were yes you did we're not having this conversation together together. She was she was in it and all of a sudden

She just stopped out of nowhere. I'm like, why'd you stop? I never really asked you that question Just I'm not even having this conversation. Why did you stop? I was 24 and you put it on I don't even know what you're talking about. I used to put it on. All right Okay, my daughter is probably listening to this podcast. I'll listen to this For years for maybe three, four, five years. You would shut it off, shut it off. Then one day she got into it. Are you a freak?

People are going to think you are a freak. If I were listening to this podcast, I'd be like, Joe Gorgers is a freak of nature. I'm not a freak. I'm actually very normal. I don't beat you. I don't slap you. I don't beat you. I don't tie you down.

I don't put an apple in your mouth. An apple in your mouth? You don't do a shower, a golden shower? No do a shower a golden shower. We don't do nothing The truth is like I think people would think you and I had like real like kinky We have we don't have kinky sex at all. Like we're very normal in the bedroom I would say basic like normal right Joe. Yeah, besides the fact that you always need a thong It's like so annoying like Like he literally will be like in the draw, he'll open the draw and like pick it himself. He's like, I like, I'm gonna move for this one.

Yeah, yeah, that one. Nice. I like this is crazy. Anyway, this brings me to the top things that every long term couple will eventually fight about. Okay. So according to a survey, here are the top things every long term couple will eventually fight about. Okay. So according to a survey here are the top things every long-term couple will fight about.

Okay. So we're going to give our takes on them. Okay. Okay. Um, okay. Number one, number one, what should we spend money on? So long-term couples fight about this. Why?

Why because you know, everybody's different. I want to put money somewhere else you don't. I feel like you and I, we have this fight. Joe and I are very different with our money. We're very different on how we want to save our money, right? So we have this fight. And it actually is interesting that this is number one. Because, Joe, if you think about this, you and I will literally get annoyed at each other enough

that we'll walk out of the room if we bring this topic up, right? Yeah. Legit, like I'm like, ugh, like I walk out of the room, he walks out of the room, because I believe that my method and how I wanna save money is right, and he believes how he wants to save our money is right,

and we disagree immensely on it. So it's rough. I mean, it does help that kinda we have two different like sticks on like how we make money. So it kinda works because I tend to save my money the way I wanna save it. And you do save your money the way you do, right? And like, I mean, we all,

you just make different money than me. You're a real estate investor. So you want to save money in buildings and real estate. And I believe in like, putting it in the bank, watching the interest pile up the special like whatever the all the things like I like to do all of those things. Joe likes to like look at it in a building and have it be real estate. What I like, you got to invest your money. Don't keep it in the bank. You keep enough money in the bank just to pay your bills, but you got to invest it. When the money sits in the bank, it's making nothing. You're killing yourself.

Right. My old school parents, they did the same thing. They kept it in the safe, under the mattress, very little, and it never grew. Okay, but don't you think that- You have to buy properties, homes, put it in the stock market. You have to take that thousand dollars that you have and make it ten thousand. Not make it at the end of the year and I could take a thousand dollars and let's just I'm giving you a round number. I could take a thousand

dollars and at the end of the year make it ten thousand thousand or a hundred thousand right let's say a hundred thousand where Melissa will keep that thousand dollars in a bank and at the end of the year it's one thousand one hundred dollars in interest and she's like oh I made a hundred dollars in interest and then you pay tax on that money and now no you have to take risks you got to go out there. You got to grind. There's a saying out there that every husband will come home and you won't even know what he's been through in that one day.

There's so many men that have hit rock bottom but have made it right back up in two, three years because they're entrepreneurs, right? They just keep going and they make money. Where, you know, a woman is a little different. And there's women out there that are exactly like those kind of men, but mostly like you, you know, your money needs to grow. I would never, once I get money, I don't know what to do. I got to, I got to, I got to make it grow. I got to make it grow. Yeah, we invest. So honestly, that's a couple issue for sure. We you and I definitely invest in different things. We believe in saving our money different ways for sure. And we were lucky

that we both kind of we both make money and we both do save it in different ways. And then there's a happy medium for both of us. So but also, couples are fighting about what they should spend money on right? Not just not just how they can save it. So like, there's people who want to live paycheck to paycheck there's couples out there where maybe the wife or the husband's like listen we have two grand this week let's go on vacation let's put in the new pool let's do this and they put themselves back to zero and worry about it next week and they live

paycheck to paycheck right and they want to live their life they're like listen we live one life and then couples fight because you have someone else who doesn't want to do that. Doesn't want to spend $300 on dinner rather put it in the bank, right? So I feel like that's a huge issue is do you have advice for these people? Joe? Like is there a happy medium for these people that want to live differently? I say, listen, my my thing is just every day just get up and go to work, no matter what. Just keep making money,

no matter what you do is keep making money. Well, you're exhausting that way. Sometimes you just need to sit down. Like you are, he even reminds me, did you do this, did you do that? Well, you should do this. I'm like, Joe, I need to act. I wanna watch Grey's Anatomy.

That's what I wanna do. You cannot take it easy in life, cause things change. If you've been watching the world, things are never, nothing stays the same. Let's say you might be selling pretzels. All right, I'm selling pretzels every day and I'm doing great and I'm making money

and everything's good. And six years from now, the pretzel business is going to change. Oh, you can't eat pretzels. People don't like pretzels anymore. Now you got to reinvent yourself. I say you can't eat pretzels. People don't like pretzels anymore. Now you gotta reinvent yourself. I say you never get comfortable. You constantly look for that extra deal

and you constantly reinvent yourself every day. You constantly gotta be an entrepreneur. Well, that part I think is huge. That's huge. And you gotta go out there, instead of doing one, two, three, you do 10 things. Melissa's like, I'm like, babe, let's do that.

She's like, well, I'm not that, I'm this. I'm like, well, you can be that. She's like, well, I'm not that, I'm this. I'm like, well, you can be that too. That is what a business person is. You can be. A jack of all trades. By the way, I am a jack of all trades. I feel like I really dabble in a lot of things as a wife and a mother as well on that list.

And you gotta save your money, but you gotta live. You can't be, you have a partner in life, so you have to enjoy. You can't be just like a hoarder and you hoard on to that money and your partner's bored in life. Right? That's not good. You got to work hard, save but enjoy. Agree. I think that was the best. The last the last sentence you said was you made the most sense, which is true. Like, you

got to find the happy medium, you also have to make sure your partner is happy and is getting to have a dinner once in a while. And if it's once every two weeks, if that's whatever it is, you can't you can't bore your partner and hoard every dollar. This episode of on display is brought to you by booking.com booking. Yeah, every time I use booking.com to find a place to stay in the US, I know they'll have exactly what I'm looking for

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Check it out. Apartments.com. The place to find a place. Okay. Guess what the number two thing is? What is it? Guess how often should couples have sex is the number two. I mean, this is like, we've been discussing this forever. I feel like we just hit this subject a little bit. I do feel like it's a big situation. Sometimes the women, cause we have so many couple friends, guys, Joe and I are huge with couples, right?

I feel like we're always giving couple advice. We have a million friends and all our friends are couples. It's just who we hang with, what we do, right Joe? Like we just have a ton of couple friends and they're all different. Each one of their marriages are different. They all confide in us. They all tell us what goes on.

And it's funny because we have some couples that literally the girl is like, he goes to sleep. He doesn't wanna have sex. Like I wanna have sex. And he doesn't care if I wear the sexy lingerie, he just totally doesn't care. And then there's the guy that's complaining, he doesn't want, she doesn't have enough sex and she doesn't want it, and now I'm going to go get it somewhere else because she's not like giving it to me or whatever it is. And I just feel like that is such a heart.

I totally believe that money is number one and sex is number two. I believe this list so far, right? What is the moral story? Um, I don't know, even even if keep fucking. That's what the moral say must you have to keep fucking and that's it. And that's I'm gonna I'm gonna say it in the nicest way possible. I say, okay, he's gonna say that. And I'm gonna say even if sexual needs aren't met,

make sure that you're at least like communicating. If there's a lack of communication, if you're not telling them, listen, I'm starting to get insecure because I feel like you don't wanna have sex with me. Like, I'm starting to be like, I'm getting like, I'm unhappy, I'm getting a little depressed, I'm feeling like, ugh, because I don't feel like you want me.

Is something wrong? Or women automatically turn that into like, does he want someone else? Like, why doesn't he want me? Or even the man feels like that. He medications everything, right? I think that needs to be a conversation that you cannot be scared to have.

This is all about long-term couples, guys. If you're gonna be a long-term couple, you need that open, you need to tell them. It's an uncomfortable conversation sometimes because you don't wanna look and be like, well, why don't you want me? But you have to say it. And if you don't say it,

more time's just gonna keep going. And I think the less you have sex, it's just gonna grow and get less and less and less and less. You know, if you're gonna do, all right, we're doing it once a week. Then once a week turns into, once every two weeks, then every three weeks, then every, if you're gonna do, all right, we're doing it once a week. Then once a week turns into once every two weeks, then every three weeks, then every,

then you're like once to six months, and then all of a sudden it just falls apart. You just gotta keep doing it. True, Joe believes that if you do let a lot of time go by, you kind of get into that rut, where it's like, where you get used to not doing it. You get used to just going to bed, and then it creates like this awkwardness for when you are going to actually do it and things get like weird. So if you let it go

for a week or two weeks or three weeks and if you're going on a month without sex and I get it once or twice like if you can't have sex up one whole week no big deal two weeks but if this is becoming like a habit you're gonna fall into this we don't connect sexually at least once a week like I think once a week for married couples with babies and kids is more than enough we're not talking like for an average family and an average couple yes it is Joe we're not talking about you listen I'm not once a week meant a lot of men are very happy with that. I would push on, in minimum, twice a week. Because you know, the more you do it,

the more connected you are. Listen, if you could, fine. The more you wanna feel good. Listen, the more you get naked and you're doing it, it's gonna even get you, you wanna be in shape, you wanna feel good, you're gonna be like, my man wanted me, my husband wanted me, my wife wants me, you feel different. It's a mental

game. It's not just physical. Keep that in your mind. It's a mental game. You walk around the streets happy for some reason. You don't even know why you're happy. If you work at a desk job and somebody comes in and you're a clerk, somebody walk in, hello, can I, I need help? And you're like, I'll help you, whatever you need. But if you didn't have sex for a week or two weeks or four weeks, you're miserable, you're nasty, you're mean. You're not, you don't know, it's a mental game. All right, guys, I don't know.

You can try out Joe's little thing, but I believe that if you have little kids, I feel like as you get older and the kids are older, like you probably should have a little bit more, believe it or not. But like when you're're in that the mommy's got the booby in the mouth and they're doing this and doing that and changing diapers and there's ten kids hanging on them all day or three kids and babies and all these things and then they're like your husband comes home he's like give it to

me you're like fuck you the mommy needs love the mommy's been working all day with the kids. She needs to release the poison. Oh my God. Did he just say that? She needs to feel good. But she does. She needs attention. All right. Even though she might not say no, no, no, but she does.

It's how you do it. All right, Joe. So guess what number three is? Where do we spend the holidays? Is it better to host or better to attend? Couples fight over whose house they're going to for the holidays, where they're going to go, whose family they're going to see. That's crazy that that is number three.

Family day, huh? And you know what? I think that's so true. I remember that just- What is your sister-in-law's house? Yeah. Or don't. And you know what?

It's truly one of those things where I believe that and I remember as Young as a young married couple Joe. That was a big thing like it is big Especially I would say not so much for long married couples. I'd say this goes on a lot in the early Beginning stage of marriage when you first get married and you guys are figuring out like who gets Christmas Eve who gets Hanukkah who gets New Year's Eve, whose family are we gonna see for Easter, where are we going for Thanksgiving, right? So it's like I think that's a big problem and a lot of people fight over it and they're like well my family throws a better party and your family's boring and I can't stand

aunt whoever. So I feel like that's a big thing. Do we have any advice for people on that? You think we would be like the king and queen of advice on family and where to go? I mean, just watch The Real Housewives of New Jersey. Listen, here's the advice. What are you going to do? You got to suck it up. Yes. And listen, you're married into it, right? So you just got to suck it up and your day's

going to be miserable. But you got to- You know what? You got to put your game face on. I truly believe in that try to make the best of it. If you sit there with the puss on your face, you're going to ruin your whole holiday as well. You might as well pour yourself a cocktail if that's what you like. Grab some food, like make it through the day because once you put on that like puss face people pick up on that it trickles down. So I say try your best to kind of do a happy. As I got older, as I got old, I'm 15 now and I've realized that it's about me. Right.

So it's about me. So if I'm going to go and know that I'm going to your house and your family's house and I hate your mother-in-law, just say I hate my mother-in-law. Let's just say, and I'm going to go there and I'm going mother-in-law, just say I hate my mother-in-law, let's just say, and I'm gonna go there and I'm gonna ruin my day, and I'm gonna be like, shit, I hate going there. And I'm gonna ruin, now I'm ruining me. Now I don't wanna ruin me.

So I'm just gonna go, do what I gotta do. They might rag on me or whatever. Okay, in one ear, at the other, but I was happy and I feel good and I'm coming home and tomorrow I'm gonna see him good, and I'm coming home, and tomorrow I'm gonna see him again, you know? So just, it's all about you. Yeah, I agree.

Okay, number four, flirty behavior. Some people might be naturally flirty, but flirting might be a reaction to like a lack of attention also. So this is about flirty behavior. I'm not sure if it's referencing like with other people or within the marriage, but I feel like we have opinions on both. So would you say I flirt with you Joe or what do you think I do? Like, what do you feel?

Do you flirt? Yeah. I mean, here and there, not much. Like I'm cutesy with you though. Like at times, like I'll be funny. Yeah. If anything, I think I'm I'm funny like I'll try I'll make him laugh or I'll do something so silly And he's just like this girl's a whack job, right? Flirty is nice. I like to be I like I like flirt Well, you know what you say when you think you always go I like when you're sweet. That's your word You're like I like when you're so sweet. Why are you being so sweet to me today? That's what you say You say I'm sweet sweet when you're sweet. I'm like, oh. Why are you being so sweet to me today? That's what you say. You say I'm sweet. Sweet, when you're sweet, I'm like,

oh, who are you? You like when I'm sweet. Do you think that you flirt with me? Always. What? How do you flirt with me? I grab your ass, I tell you you look good, I come over, I bite your face.

You bite my face. I pull your hair a little bit. Don't I give a little yank? No, you don't pull this hair. A little yank because you like it. You're like, oh, you know, little yank. Oh my god. You know, I give her a little bit of everything. Give her love. Give her attention. I like attention. Give her a little, you know, little roughness, little 50 shades of gray. I'll talk about very- I'll talk about one more because then I want to talk about- I don't want you to miss out on anything.

Yeah, because there's actually one more that I want to talk about. And I want to talk about, because I know we deal with this with a lot of our friends too, the man or the woman, we'll say both, because we actually have two couples. One the man's out a lot due to his job and one the woman's out a lot due to her job. How much time should be spent away at work, at dinners, at business dinners, at business lunches? I would put this in the top three. I don't know why this is down at like number eight, but I skipped right to it because I feel like this is really a huge thing.

We have a lot of couple friends that have this problem that their jobs call for them to have business lunches like almost every day. And a couple like a lot of them, it's true. They really do have to be there at these meetings and it just so happens they do them at lunches and there's always a cocktail while they're having the meeting most of the time. Like, she'll give some advice to the people

who really are frustrated and like, this is a problem. Like there's gotta be a little give and take here. Listen, networking is huge. It really is. And if you have that kind of business and you have to take a client out to lunch and smooth them and make them happy and make them your friend to get his business, that's what you have to do. You have to understand is that's how you get business.

Business is bought by relationships. It's who you know and who likes you. You understand? So if you get mad, if I have to take out Mr. Smith to get a contract of a $10 million contract and you're bitching at me and I don't take out Mr. Smith, but Joe Schmo there takes out Mr. Smith and they hit it off, that guy,

Joe Schmo is getting getting that 10 million dollar contract and I didn't. So you have to understand that's what you have to do in life. It's all about who you know. It's not how smart you are or how much money you have. It's who you know. Yeah, I feel like this is one of those things though that you really need to, for any of my listeners out there that are not married yet or might be engaged or dating or whatever, this is something you really need to pay attention to before you get married. You also need to know who you're marrying.

So, like, chances are if they do this a lot, they do a lot of lunch meetings, they do a lot of dinner meetings, they do a lot of nights out with their friends before you get married. Trust me, that is only going to get worse, not better when you do get married. It's just a fact. It's who they are and you really need to know what you can deal with.

If you are marrying someone that needs to network constantly, needs to be out to lunch constantly and then you go and have kids and babies with this person. Chances are they're still gonna go out. They're still gonna network a lot. But I do want to help couples out there that you know they're very frustrated with this and they want to fix it and I don't know Joe do you have any advice for any of the guys like these ladies who are listening or the guys who are listening if they are one of those guys who don't spend a lot of Time at home with the family who don't make enough time and do like what's your advice to them? How can they get better because do they realize they could be potentially ruining their family? They're making their wives very

unhappy right but my My what I'm telling my advice is just do what you have to do, but you got to go home and spend time with your wife. You got to take her out and you got to do all that with your kids and keep networking and keep making money because that money is going to your wife and your kids anyway. And I understand. I know it's a give and take. I get it.

I understand what everybody goes through. But listen, you got to work in life. You really do. And you got to lock up that closet. I get it. I understand what everybody goes through but listen, it's you got to work in life You really do and you got it. You got to lock up get it I get it, but how much is money so so you can have all the money in the world But if you have a miserable wife at home, and I'm just putting it on husband and wife right now You can have all the money in your world You can get all the contracts in the world But when you come home and your wife's not happy and she has a puss face on and she's sad

and she doesn't feel happy, that's a problem. And there's a lot of people out there, Joe, like this, that are like, they need help. But if your husband doesn't pay to, let's say, I'm not talking about just your husband, your wife, your husband, whoever's out there networking, they can't come home and they can't pay the bills. That's misery too, right?

Yeah, I mean, that's why there has to be an equal balance of recognizing that there's got to be a balance between work and life that you need or life that you want in your partner. So basically you're going to need to give up a little something they're going to need to give up a little something. If they have to have these lunch meetings or whatever it is they need to really end the meeting when it's over and not sit and have the additional drink at the bar after. They need to say, I had the meeting, I spent an hour or two and they need to go home after. I think that's going to help a lot. Then, okay, the meeting's done, but now we're going to hang and have a cocktail.

But sometimes that meeting is the meeting and then the guy that you're with, he's like, let me have a drink. Let's have a drink. So that meeting was just the meeting, right? And then that two hours and that three hours you just spent with him, you just blocked the deal off. You understand? It could be. It could be, but I can definitely see-

That's how it really works. I'm telling you. It's how they like you, whoever they are, whatever you're looking for. And listen, it's like you going into a movie gig and it depends how you hit it off with the producer really. It's how they like you and how you hit it. They pick the person. Yeah.

Life is scary, especially in the entertainment business. It's very much so networking and connections. But honestly, my advice to all of this, it's really just like recognize how your partner or your potential partner balances work and how they balance life. And I'd say it probably is not gonna change that much, right? And it may get worse. Whatever bothers you may just get worse as time goes on

and as they get more comfortable in the marriage and feel more like, ah, she's not going anywhere or he's not going anywhere because this is vice versa. A lot of men are home, the women are out, they have these events, they do what they do. And I just think there's a really, there's a way to make sure that because it comes down to like selfishness as well. And yes, money is important and money matters and going

to work but the happiness of your partner matters too because it's just you're gonna be equally unhappy right I mean is that the what is that the best thing to say I understand I get it but today with social media right and everyone's watching they want that better better life. And if they're holding you back, you're not hitting that meeting, you got to come home. But then they're like, well, why can't we buy that car? And why can't we go on this vacation? And why can't I get that purse? You know, look at these people have it. I'm looking on social media, they all have it. Then what what's what are you gonna do?

Go work and hustle and grind you're never happy. No one's ever happy. Well, there's always gonna be Yeah, the balance is balance between the balance is and money and like bill money's money's the root of all evil And it is it's true, you know, and this is true. Listen, there's five more we can talk about guys But we'll definitely talk about the rest of this the next time you're on the podcast because I can go on and on and on it for days Anyway guys, I hope you enjoyed our marriage advice for today Joe You were a little like raunchy on some of your things But I think I think women, you know, it won't want to hear your point of view every once in a while.

It's real. It's not raunchy. It's called real. You have to do it. If I don't say it that way, you're not going to understand. All right. You're just being real and honest with us. Is that it?

You got to be real. That's it. All right. Well, thank you for being real and honest with my Mel listeners. As always, we love you and we love your truth that you spread throughout the podcast. I can only tell the truth, baby. That's all I can do. All right, guys.

Have an awesome week. Thank you in advance for all your birthday wishes tomorrow. I love you guys all so much. You are all amazing and I appreciate all the years we have spent together. Nice. We'll see you soon. Peace. Ciao. I want to pit the series of like calendars where men are just crying in a therapist office

or punching a pillow and working out their anger towards their dad. But I do have my moments. I actually have full conversations. With the moon. Yes. I try to keep it pretty balanced on this podcast. A little fun dance between comedy, therapy, self-medicating. Oh, and sorry if you haven't guessed.

Hi, I'm Caitlin Bristow, host of Off the Vine podcast where we like to just keep things loose and keep them raw and keep them real. Like when we have listeners call in and give confessions. And then that glass of wine progressed into me becoming a unicorn for them. But we do, and I promise you this, try to keep it honest and vulnerable. So jump on the wagon, not off.

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