On Display with Melissa Gorga - Real Talk (w/ Jana Kramer)

Episode Date: January 27, 2022

Melissa invites actress, singer, podcast host, and amazing mom, Jana Kramer onto the show to chat about her past year: the ups, the downs, and everything in between.  Jana opens up about her divo...rce, co-parenting, and how she found happiness by realizing she needed to take care of herself before she could take care of others.  Oh, and did we mention the time that Jana was approached to be on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills!? This week's sponsors: Beachbody: beachbody.com/melissa (14 days free) Pomp Flowers: pompflowers.com; promo code: MELISSA10 (10% off order)

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 You're listening to Melissa Gorga on display with me, Melissa Gorga on podcast one. We went to dinner and I was kind of telling him about my past and he put up this like, you know, when you're at the airport and they have those things that make the beeping noise. And so he goes, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, Bipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipipip are at the end here of January, which means like, I'm wondering how many of you are all following your New Year's resolutions. First of all, I'm going to just wrap myself out. I don't make one. I never did. I don't think I don't think I've ever made a true New Year's resolution. I don't know why. I just, I don't do that. I just strive to be great all the time. No, I'm just kidding. But for real, I never do that. Neither does Joe. We're
Starting point is 00:01:05 terrible at that. But I did ask a couple of you guys on Instagram or 2.5 million of you on Instagram. And some of the people that stood out to me were Tiffany Alexis, who is not engaging with toxic people. And she's cutting them out. The high road is always better to take. Trust me. Another one I loved was Jenny Laura who said she continues to find her happiness and not let negativity ruin her day and she's just going to keep that up, which I love. So many positive ones, so many of them. So I decided that next year I am literally going to make my first ever New Years resolution. But I do feel like the end of January is the time to kind of decide
Starting point is 00:01:48 if you're actually going to go through with it or not. So if you do have one, I hope you're, I hope you're on track and keeping up with it. I also want to talk about the Real Housewives of New Jersey for a second. Next Tuesday, guys, I am so excited for this season, like wait until you see this, like crazy, crazy, I am so excited for this season, like wait until you see this. Like crazy, crazy, crazy season.
Starting point is 00:02:10 A lot of craziness that actually reminds me of like the beginning seasons, where I'm going to compare a little bit with the table flip. I know you guys saw the trailer, the crazy trailer that I sometimes think looks like mob vibe, so I'm not gonna lie. But it is a crazy season. So I feel like I know the housewife fans out there. You guys are gonna love it. And I don't like to do the whole like cliche like, oh my god, the best season ever like every season. I don't do that. But I will tell you that this season is definitely one of the crazier ones, the more aggressive ones. It's a lot about relationships. So you're gonna see us all get very heated
Starting point is 00:02:50 about the relationships we're in. And I always say that, if someone comes for your spouse or your loved one, that's what heats someone up the most, there's a lot of that going on this season. There's like some cheating things happening. There's a lot of rumors. It's juicy, guys. I'm
Starting point is 00:03:05 not going to lie. Also, I know that you guys saw that they released our tag lines like really. Oh, okay, this is no shade to Bravo. Okay, no shade to Bravo. But like, I don't like mine and I don't, I don't get it. And
Starting point is 00:03:22 I love that there's a fan page out there, like Justice from Melissa and her tagline. I just want to say, like we do, for so many people who are DMing me and have questions, I do think that they, you know, a lot of times we are allowed to come up with our own, shall I say, or we're able to like give suggestions
Starting point is 00:03:42 on what we really want. But I feel like the network does come up with like ones that they love and they will, you know, adore your interviews or something that will have you say them. Okay. And when I heard the two that they had for me, I was like, uh, no, I'm not saying either of those. I have this and I said something else. But, you know, you basically what happens is you record three of them. And ultimately Bravo chooses which one they want. And I remember saying, I'm not even going to say it because if I say it,
Starting point is 00:04:14 you guys are going to use it. It's just like, you know, we probably won't use it. No, you used it. You used it. And I still don't understand it. So I'm going to stop with my little rant on Instagram. Instead, I still don't understand it. So I'm gonna stop with my little rant on Instagram. Instead, I am going to embrace it. Okay, I'm gonna embrace my tagline.
Starting point is 00:04:31 I am not gonna ask anyone to change it for me. We are gonna ride or die season 12 with this tagline. Okay, I think I have a little clarity on it now. It's like some people are born great and some people are born Jersey, meaning better than great. Okay, that's what I guess it means. Again, would I normally say something like that? No, but my favorite tagline, I just wanna say
Starting point is 00:04:56 that I ever had, that I did create, okay, was my favorite one, I believe it was season four, was I never throw the first punch, but I'm always the knockout. That's my favorite tagline. Like I just want to have that tagline until I die, okay, until they kill me off. Like that's that's my tagline right there. Speaking of house, so I was guys, I don't know my mother, I cannot handle Donna Marco. She is insane. She literally is the funniest person in the world. She shot me a text yesterday at 6am.
Starting point is 00:05:31 And it's talking about only fans. I don't know if you follow me on Instagram, but if you do, I did post it. And she's literally talking about the Miami Housewives and like Larsa Pipin. And she's like, oh my God, you need an only fans Melissa. Like this is coming from my mother. You need an only fans Larsa Pippin makes,
Starting point is 00:05:50 and she calls her Larda, by the way, not Larsa. Makes $10,000 a week on it, just showing her feet. So you need to get an only fans. Okay guys, the wise words from Donna Marco, who's mother wants them to get an only fans? Okay guys, the wise words from Donna Marco, who's mother wants them to get an only fans mine, mine does. So if anyone didn't catch that on my Instagram, I think it's hysterical. My mother is a true housewives fan. She knows all of the housewives
Starting point is 00:06:15 all of their details and everything about them. So she's always good for a laugh. So TBD, if I join only fans and show people my feet, I will let you know, but as of only fans and show people my feet, I will let you know, but as of now, I'm good. Okay, we're just gonna stick to the podcast and all the fun people that I get to talk to. Like today, for instance, I am so looking forward to this one. She does everything, by the way.
Starting point is 00:06:41 She's a successful podcast host. She's a great musician. She recently launched a special wine line, she's an actress. She does all of this while being a great mother of two children. I love her so much. Hi, Janet Kramer. How are you? I'm good. I'm good. I mean, I haven't spoke to you. I feel like the last time I talked to you, I was on your podcast. Yeah, it was like Joe and I did it with you and Mike. Yeah, it was you and Joe. And I just remember being like, I love,
Starting point is 00:07:11 like I just and since that podcast, I just like, I follow you and Joe. I love you guys. And it's just, yeah, I just, I adore you. And you look glowing right now. Okay, so let's just discuss this. So I had yesterday, I had a van fire facial yesterday. So you can call this glowing. It is swollen. There is no, there is no makeup on, but like that. What's that
Starting point is 00:07:34 called? Like hydraulic, I would not ask it. Um, um, hi, hi, yes, that's the word I'm looking for. So I'm a hot mess. So I look like a red little tomato. Stop. No, you look beautiful. I'm like a Jersey tomato today. Have you ever done one of these? They like literally suck the blood out of my arm. And then they spin it and they get the plasma,
Starting point is 00:07:55 which is all like the goodness in your skin that creates the collagen. And she like literally ruffs it in with like this tool. So I'm swollen. Do I look it? Don't lie. You can tell the truth. No, I'm serious. You with like this tool. So I'm swollen. Do I look it? Don't lie. You could tell the truth.
Starting point is 00:08:05 No, I'm serious. You look like JLo. Just like natural, beautiful. I'll take it. I will take it. Anyway, from the last time I was on your podcast, by the way, obviously your life has changed immensely. Crazy.
Starting point is 00:08:22 Like your life has changed so much. So crazy. And I'm following you and I'm watching you. And first off, let me just tell you, I am rooting for you. I really am. Like you are being so vulnerable. Sometimes I, I'm going to be honest with you. I can't believe some of this stuff you post sometimes. And no, because you're so vulnerable with it. And you're so real with it, you really are. Like you are not leaving anything on turn. You're not giving us any questions.
Starting point is 00:08:51 We know exactly how you feel. We know when you're crying, we know when you're happy, we know when you're sad. Like, and I feel like that's pretty amazing because I'm sure you get scrutiny both ways, right? For like, oh, we don't need to see your bad days or we don't need to see this. But for me, I think you are touching
Starting point is 00:09:09 and you're talking to so many women out there who have been in this position or maybe are in the position, right? And they don't know how to get out of it. And you have to be so inspiring in so many ways because even for someone like me, okay, who has three children to turn your life around and to make the decisions that you have made, I have so many questions for
Starting point is 00:09:32 you. Like I really do talk to me like what is going on? Well, I mean, thank you for that. I appreciate it. It's been hard because you're right. Like, and I know you get this too probably with your socials and your work, but people are gonna hate on you either way. People are gonna hate on you with you shit with whatever you share. And so for me, it's like, okay, when I look in my DMs, if 90% of my DMs are people saying,
Starting point is 00:09:57 hey, thank you for sharing that. Are you give me hope or that quote really helped me or really appreciate you sharing this. Like, if that's the most of my DMs and I'm helping people, then I'm gonna continue to share. Because for me selfishly, it helps me too. I'd be like, oh, okay,
Starting point is 00:10:14 I'm not the only person going through this or oh, I'm not the only one dealing with this kind of situation or co-parenting or divorce. Or so if anything selfishly, it kind of makes me feel a little better, better too. But I mean, it's hard to get the people being like, oh my gosh, stop, you know, you're victimizing yourself.
Starting point is 00:10:33 And I'm like, I'm just sharing my experiences. And this is just my experiences and my story. And if you don't like it, you don't have to follow along. Exactly. So that's what I'm saying. Just someone, and I don't read any negative on yours at all. I don't read comments. I just know from personal experience. Sometimes when you, when you cry or they can take it as like, Oh, don't go out there looking for
Starting point is 00:10:55 the sympathy card. Like we know what you're going through. And I just knew without even asking you that because I see what you post sometimes. And I'm like, wow, like she is really giving it all to us which, you know, someone like I appreciate it. I'm on your side, girlfriend. I appreciate it. I understand what you're going through. I mean, I feel like, you know, how is your relationship right now with your ex?
Starting point is 00:11:18 Are you guys co-parenting great together or how is that going? I mean, it's definitely a really difficult situation because we got divorced for a reason, obviously, and we had a lot of both heightened emotions. So when I honestly think co-parenting for in this stage is a very cruel thing for, like, tap to do, because you're divorcing someone because you can't look at them
Starting point is 00:11:43 or stand them or, you know, you like them. And now you're actually having to co-parent together and still communicate and still talk. I mean, it would be a lot easier if I never had talked to him ever again. But obviously, you know, I have our two beautiful babies. So, you know, it's not easy. And there is definitely days where it is really hard. And some days I don't do it perfectly because I still have a lot of emotions behind, you know, why our marriage ended. And, you know, I think, you know, he has his own emotions too. And so, when we're both on those bad days, like, it's not good, but at the same time, like, what I've learned is in what, you know, my therapist and my friends all tell me, it's like, you have to stop engaging. Like, I continue to engage because I'm thinking, like, one day maybe I'll get an apology or I'll get,
Starting point is 00:12:25 you know, a real sincere empathy, some empathy. And my friends are like, you never got empathy from them. Why do you expect now? You're all the sudden going to get empathy, wintered worse. And it's like, I think that as more time goes on, like realizing that and then just going, okay, this is just going to be about the kids because I can't, even though I wanted, I think like I had this in like this dream in my head that we were going to be friends, as co-parents and and that's just not the reality and I think that's for now that's okay because there's just still so many heightened emotions. So I think just keeping it based on the kids is what I have to do because I'm still looking for something that he'll never give me. Right, and I truly believe in that with any relationship
Starting point is 00:13:08 or just with friendships, when you finally let go and you don't need the apology and you're just good within yourself, that's when you're really truly gonna move on. When you feel like, you know what, I don't care if you're good, if you're bad, if you apologize, if you don't, like you're forgiven what your life was in your heart and you're ready to move on.
Starting point is 00:13:28 And I always say that, like, because even on housewives, you know, you're always looking for an apology from someone and then I started to realize, you know, don't do me a favor, don't even apologize. Like I'm good with everything and I don't care if I ever see you again, you know,
Starting point is 00:13:41 but I know in this situation, it's hard because you know, you have the kids, which by the way are the most adore that little boy I can't. I just use my every night. I'm like, who's your soulmate? And he's like mommy. And I'm like, yeah, he reminds me of my youngest, my little Joey, who's a mush like that with me. And I'm like, he, I die. Like he is like perfection. I mean, there's always right, there's something good that came out of the whole situation, right? I mean, that's like the silver lighting. But like to your point about like, you know, what you go through on houseides, it's like, I don't know what it is, but it's like, and I feel like we're the same in this area. Like, I would never say some of the things in my exes that to me. So it's like, I would think that someone would want to say sorry for that. You know what I mean? So it's like, it just doesn't make sense to
Starting point is 00:14:28 me, but it's like there's his reality, there's my reality, there's your reality, and then there's other people's reality in the show. And it's like those realities, people that you argue with, like they're never going to understand your reality. Norm, I have ever going to understand his reality. Oh, all right, let's take a quick break. Did you know the distance you live from the gym can make all the difference and how often you work out? It's true. How close does your gym actually have
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Starting point is 00:15:54 You feel that he was making excuses basically for like with the whole like sex addict, for things he was doing wrong, giving himself an excuse and you let that go for so many years, and took that in as if he needed help when I feel like you feel like you were fooled at this point. Yeah, I mean, I definitely feel that for sure. And, you know, I had someone come on our podcast
Starting point is 00:16:18 and we talked about like how people in addiction sometimes you have to like, you know, she was basically saying with that structure, you have to be very much like, oh, you know, and cuddle them and, and it's okay, like, you know, you, you, just, but it's like, but us, like the victims were kind of like, wait a minute, you know, this is hard too. So, but there's on that side of it, like how they portray, like, there is abuse, there's gaslight, there's manipulation, but they're like, wait a minute, you know, this is hard too. So, but there's on that side of it, it's like how they portray, like there is abuse, there's gaslight, there's manipulation, but they're like, well, I can't handle it.
Starting point is 00:16:49 Like it's, I have an addiction, you know, so it's just, that's very hard to, when that person can't tap into any empathy, like it's very hard to even have any relationship around that because they, not the same he used it as it, but it is, you know, I'm powerless to it. It's like, okay, you're powerless to it, but can you have empathy around it? Right. And it's also put you in a position where you want to be a good wife, right?
Starting point is 00:17:11 And you want to help someone when they're down instead of leave them. And so it prolongs the time for you to like, when did you know it was time to let go? Like enough was enough. So it's interesting because there's so many people and I've asked that question, like, well, how will I know and enough was enough. So it's interesting because there's so many people, and I've asked that question, like, well, how will I know when enough is enough? And it's like, I saw this quote too, that just really stuck out for me, but they said, when staying is more painful than leaving,
Starting point is 00:17:37 like that's when you know, and I remember this last go round, when I discovered more stuff, it's like time after time when I took him back. It's every time I took him back from something, it just, it made our relationship worse. In the beginning, it made it great, because he's like, I'll never do it again.
Starting point is 00:17:54 You can trust me. And again, I'm the kind of person that's like, I do believe in someone fighting the good fight. There's miss-haps in the marriage, and you can work through it. I do believe people can grow and change, but that person that did what they did have has to have empathy and the other person has to, you know, be willing to work with them, but this, you know, this last go around like after so many. I'll never do this and I did and I'll never do this and I did again. You just come to a point where you're just like, I'm now almost seven years in and you're saying now the same thing I've heard every year, I'm just like, and then honestly my best
Starting point is 00:18:35 friend manager who's also here, but she was just like, I cannot watch you stay and do this again. Like, it's just like, you have to understand that he is not going to change, at least in this relationship. It's a circle. It just keeps going around and around. And then you end up, it's another Christmas. It's another Easter.
Starting point is 00:18:53 And you're like, wow, we're still, I still feel the same way I did last Christmas. And then it circles again. It's like this birthday, I feel the same way I did. And you start to realize like, when do I get off the ride? When you're time to jump off? Never going to stop.
Starting point is 00:19:07 And I remember what clicked for me was I went on a meeting for sex addict wives. And I'm sitting around this meeting and I see people that have been married for 40 plus years. And they're like, he did it again. And I'm like, I can't beat, I can't beat like this. Like I'm, you know, about to be 30. I just, I just can't do this.
Starting point is 00:19:26 I'm like, the anxiety that I feel, I'm just like, I just cannot do this. And then like, you know, hearing my friends based on intervention with me, sitting me down like enough. And I'm like, you know, we, like, it was, because you know, he, he blamed like the, you know, being too hard about a sharing our story.
Starting point is 00:19:44 But that's not a reason to do X, Y and Z. So it's like, it's just one of those things where it's like, they're always gonna have a reason or an excuse for their behavior. And I just had to stop the cycle. And I hope that he's better in his next relationship. He won't have all the, and he even said, he's like, he was never probably going to stop
Starting point is 00:20:02 because he was always in the wrong. Like he always had, so it's like, right, he just knew that it was more of the same. Right. Yeah. So who knows? Well, I applaud you for doing an ad. It was no art. I mean, it was like, and I think it was one of those things too, because one thing that like really frustrated him was like, the day that I filed, I put on Instagram that we were separating. He's like, you couldn't even give me a second.
Starting point is 00:20:32 I was like, if I did not post that immediately, I would have taken you back. That's how much he was my drug. If I didn't put it out to the world, I would have taken him back probably within a week or so. I would have filed, I would have done all that and then I would have let his words seat back in. I'm like, I had to make it public or I would have let you back in because that's how much you were my drug. I actually get that. It almost like, it almost makes you like feel responsible. Like when you put it
Starting point is 00:21:00 out, you're like, now there's no turning back. It's almost like when you tell your mother, like your husband cheated on you. It's like, once you tell them and tell your family, it's like, now I'm never going to go back because no one's going to allow me to go back. I know. Can you imagine if I put it out there and then I go, I went back, like, there's no way I could have done that. So like, I knew that's what I had to do. No, I get that. That was your little way of like, you know, making it stand, making it stick, which whatever you need to do, look, it worked, right?
Starting point is 00:21:27 Besides the fact that, listen, you're in your prime, you're doing awesome. You really are. You look amazing. You're young. I don't believe in, I know a lot of people for the kids and this is another thing. You know, they stay. And I get trying, which is what you did. And I have many girlfriends who do the same.
Starting point is 00:21:44 You keep trying when your kids are toddlers and when they're young, but I don't believe you know, they stay and I get trying, which is what you did. And I have many girlfriends who do the same. You keep trying when your kids are toddlers and when they're young, but I don't believe in that. Like let's wait until everyone's in high school and college and then separate because you you you wasted all
Starting point is 00:22:00 of those years. And there's going to be so much resentment because when you are 45 years old, you're going to look back and say, oh my God, why didn't I do this 10 years ago? And, you know, and it's not easy to do that. I'm know I'm saying it like it's easy because I know there's a lot of women out there that, you know, would love to just jump off the train right now. And it's not easy.
Starting point is 00:22:16 There's always financial stuff. There's, you know, but you're very lucky and it was ballsy to do. And I know it's not easy being a single mother. I mean, how is that is that been a lot different for you? Yeah, I mean I definitely and I thought about this too. I told my one girlfriend Sarah I was like you know what? I was like what if I just turned a blind eye? Let them do whatever he wants to do. That's why that's why we stay as a family. It's fine. Like I've
Starting point is 00:22:40 got the kids together. I mean the kids you know and she was just like you're she's like, do you want your kids to feel that energy that you have around him? Do you want your kids to like, because they're going to see it, they're going to see it all of your face, like you can't pretend. And that's when I was like, okay, you're right. But I think in the beginning, it was really hard because I was so angry. And it's like when, in my son, like, you know, Blas, he's, he still has really hard days on transition days, like he'll scream daddy and I want to just fire off and be like, you did this, you know, I mean, like you separate our family now I have to witness my poor son so set when, you know, when we separate or when, you know, when he comes back from your house and it's like. So that that part's really hard because, you know, they ask questions like, you know, Mommy, why can't you live at daddy's? Or, and I'm like, well, you know, like we're just better at this friend. So I think that piece is hard.
Starting point is 00:23:29 And, but that's the only piece that's hard because besides that, like I'm a happier mom. I mean, yeah, sure, there's definitely hard days because, you know, I don't, I don't have a nanny. And, but, you know, it's, it is, it's hard, but at the same time, I'm happier. So it's just, you kind of get into a groove. And, you know, again, luckily I am in, you know, I'm able to be able to do it. And, um, but I think, I think
Starting point is 00:23:51 there's, there's hard days and there's, there's good days. And there's mostly good. I mean, holidays are tough. Like, that's why I posted about Christmas, because I'm like, man, I can't be the only mom shatter right now in crying, you know, that I just had to say goodbye to my kids on Christmas. Like, that's, that's because of his actions, I have to say bye to my kids. Like that pissed me off. I know people that literally stay together because they do not want to be split for Christmas or for the holidays. Literally that will be their excuse. They will say like, so what happens? Like, then every other year I see my child on Christmas morning and that affects people. It's so crazy, but that's one of the big ones
Starting point is 00:24:28 is the holidays and Christmas and the separation. And, you know, but when you can get through that week or those couple of days, I mean, in the long run, obviously, as you're seeing now, I mean, are you, how, like, what's happening now? Are you happy? Is it all good? I know there's like some new, I'm seeing some shirtless
Starting point is 00:24:47 man walk around. I'm like, what, what is this? Like, I found some shirtless hottie on your page. I don't know. I need to understand how you like, all right, did you go on an app? Like, what do you do when you're single? What happens? I mean, I definitely was, I was on and off of Raya. And I went on a few dates on that, but then I got off because I was like,
Starting point is 00:25:07 this is just not my thing. And I'm not meeting like good peeps on here. So I got off of that. And then I was just fine. Like I was just going to do my thing. And then I went to Sean Johnson's kids birthday party. And I just saw like a really handsome dude there. And I figured he was married, obviously.
Starting point is 00:25:27 So I was like, didn't even like give him a second glance. But ended up, Sean's husband set us up at the birthday party. He's like, hey, I got someone here. And you know, he's, it's so hard because I've tried to push him away like every possible way. Because I'm like, I can't trust somebody. And it's too hard. And you're going to scream me over just like Max did
Starting point is 00:25:46 and dating after what I went through is definitely difficult and hard, but at the same time, like it's great too. It's like, oh wow, like this is how I was supposed to be treated the entire time. All right, that's awesome. Let's take a quick break. So I've gotten a lot of flowers in my day.
Starting point is 00:26:03 Joe has always spoiled me and I've spoiled a lot of flowers in my day, Joe has always spoiled me. And I've spoiled a lot of my friends with flowers. But recently I got pumped and it was amazing. Receiving flowers from pump was a total wow experience. First off, they arrive in this huge red box and everyone can tell that you just received something special. Pumps flowers arrived extremely fresh and the quality of the flowers themselves was incredible and they just got better over time I placed them in my living room in each day. They looked more open and more beautiful Usually flowers only last a couple days with these pomp flowers lasted over seven days Pomp flowers are for any occasion and I know that it's a little early, but especially this Valentine's Day
Starting point is 00:26:44 You do want to be pumped trust Trust me, start dropping the hints now. And with pump, your significant other can order ahead of time. So there isn't a last minute scramble. But don't wait. Pump only grows the highest quality flowers. And when they're gone, they're gone. You are going to love these flowers. Go to pump p o m p flowers dot com and get 10% off your order when you use my code Melissa 10 that's Melissa 10 when you order at pomp flowers dot com prepare to be wowed. And now back to the show. Wait, do you have like the butterflies still, you know, like the beginning stages when you're like you get the butterflies are all excited. Is this what's happening right now? You know, it's like it's young love right now. So yes, the butterflies like he leaves me notes like every day, like he writes on my mirror in my bathroom, like my whole mirror, I can't see, I mean, he's a really great guy. He's normal, like he's just not a,
Starting point is 00:27:47 I did, you know, I did the whole dating actors and football players. I was like, I'm done with that. That's not, yeah. Just no, like keep it tight. Like, what is this guy do? What does he do for a living? Well, he's a Navy SEAL.
Starting point is 00:27:59 Oh, wow. That's why his body looks the way it does. Okay. But he's in private equity. So he's in finance. Okay, well, that's good. That's why his body looks the way it does. Okay. But he's in private equity. So he's in finance. Okay. Well, that's good. That's good. He's also a father, right? He is. Yeah. So he's got a five-year-old daughter and she's super sweet. The kids have all met and they get along great. So that's that's nice to be able because I think it's I was you know, I want different dates that I went on and you can just tell the difference between someone that has kids and doesn't and just.
Starting point is 00:28:29 Yeah, that was important for me to find some of the like hat kids. I would say that that would be very important just so they can understand when you're a child, I always think like when your child even has a fit or goes through something or you can't do something that day because, you know, your child is sick or whatever it may be, I feel like, you know, teaming up with another parent, they get it more than like a guy that never had a child before and he's like, what's wrong? Like, what do you mean your child sick? They don't get it. So I agree with that. I always say, like, it's better to find someone if you already have kids that also has a child or two somewhere lurking around. I think it's so interesting because you really truly, I mean dating sucks.
Starting point is 00:29:07 I mean, it's like, but then I just really, I'm like, you know what? It's like everyone has their things. Cause now we're kind of getting to that point where like, you know, you start to notice little things or like you learn more about their past or like, and it's just kind of, it's just so funny to me. Cause I'm like, cause there's just,
Starting point is 00:29:21 there's not a perfect person out there. It's just what can you kind of like deal with and handle? Like exactly. Do you know, I talk about this with my sisters and my girlfriends all the time. It's like, so we'll compare husbands just in the room. And I'll be like, well, yours is really annoying when it comes to this. But like, he's great at this. But like, I could never deal with my sister's husband because he needs to be in charge. He needs to pick the restaurant. He needs to do the reservation where I'm like, no, Joe sits back. I rule the rules.
Starting point is 00:29:48 Like I decide when we're going, how we're going, where we're going, and he doesn't give a shiti. He's just like, tell me what to wear actually too. And I'll be there. But like, you have to pick your vice. It's like some other guys. They're so annoying because they need a lot of attention or whatever it is. There is going to be some shit, Jenna, everywhere and everywhere you look. So you have to pick. So even this guy you're with, I'm not asking anything like what these bad parts are, but there's going to be some shit somewhere, and it's like, can you deal with that shit? Would you rather deal with that shit or the other shit? Because that's how that goes. Exactly. We're going to deal with the next polish shit from this other guy that I might date or the thing. It's like, well, we've had a shit. Because that's how that goes. Yeah. Exactly. We're gonna deal with the next fellowship from this other guy that I might date
Starting point is 00:30:26 or they think it's like, what we've all had a shit. So, and I've definitely dumped my shit on him because I'm like, with all my stuff, and he's been my times that he has to stop me and be like, stop pushing me away. Like, I'm not going to do what your ex did. And I'm like, well, how do you know?
Starting point is 00:30:40 Like, how do I know? Right. How do you know? Are you guys close and age? He's a year and a half younger than me. So yes, that's close enough. Yeah, close enough. That's close enough in age. All right, good.
Starting point is 00:30:54 And your kids are getting along. You seem really happy. Like what's going on in your life right now? Tell me everything you're working on. What's happening? You look so happy on Instagram. I mean, I know you give us your hard days too, but I kind of love that you're posting this guy and like showing us that there is life after.
Starting point is 00:31:09 I feel like it's encouraging. Yeah, and that's kind of like what, because I definitely, it's weird. Once I got over the first few weeks of, you know, the divorce and the pain and more months or whatever. It's just to realize I come much negative energy. I had like just on me and like, I just, I feel so much lighter now, which is nice. But, you know, with, you know, Ian, my new boyfriend, like it's one of those things where it's like,
Starting point is 00:31:34 I am enjoying, I'm just taking a day by day because I don't know what's gonna happen if he's the one, if we're gonna end up together. I don't know, but what I do know is that like, I'm okay alone. And I also know that, you know, I have survived. Hopefully the worst thing that I've ever gone through. So any break up moving forward, I'm going to be okay.
Starting point is 00:31:52 You know, so I'm just kind of like enjoying, you know, I'm enjoying him or enjoying each other. I'm enjoying the moment. You know, my kids are happy. And like that, that makes me happy. And, you know, as far as work, I mean, I have a song coming out in February that I wrote for my kids around the divorce, basically like explaining to them, you know, once upon a, it's like, it's like a story book, like it's called the story about, you know, how
Starting point is 00:32:17 mommy and daddy are not like together anymore. So that's February and that was a really tough one to write, but it's, you know, hopefully, you know, people in that same situation will relate to it. And then I have two movies that I'm doing this year for lifetime, because I'm, you know, I'm a part of the lifetime family, so I love them so much. I love lifetime. Yeah, they're great. I love them. I know what I see that you're singing, you're acting, you're right. I mean, there's just there. You have the podcast. There's just a lot going on. So you're, you're definitely like moving and shaking over there and doing what you have to do. I got, I got kids in the house to, you know, to support in the next husband to pay. So, you know, I got, I got to out, out that hurts my soul. Oh, it's so great. But you know what, hey, if it means giving them an amazing second home too,
Starting point is 00:33:11 like I'll pay what I have to pay. So, well, that's amazing. That's awesome. That's spoken like a true woman right there. What's with the wine down? You have the wine line also. So, wine down is your podcast. Yeah, wine down is my best friend. We also so wine down is your podcast. Yeah, wine I'm asked, I mean my best friend we do it together which is fun and we've got
Starting point is 00:33:28 on you know therapists that come on it's very like relationship that you know you went on there and then also Rick. Wait so you kicked Mike, you kicked him out. He's no longer on the podcast got it. Okay Okay. Um, yes, he has been removed. And then I have a wine company called One Brick Wines. So it's fun, we've got a membership program and we do events and concerts and really, really good wines. So because I'm a big wine drinker, obviously. Same, same, you have to send me some wine, I want to try.
Starting point is 00:34:02 Oh, I would love, have I not said you any? No, I need that. I'm gonna taste our try. Oh, I would love it. Have I not said you know, no, I need. I need to taste our wine. Catherine, she's on it. Okay. Hello, put me on the list. No one drinks more wine than me. I'm just going to go ahead and say that.
Starting point is 00:34:12 Or do you want both? Red. I'm a red girl. Red. Okay. We're on it. Yeah. Hey, whoever's over there, mark me down.
Starting point is 00:34:21 Catherine loves you, by the way. She's good. Oh, hi. All right. So you're also filming two movies this year. Is this for the lifetime? Yeah, it'll be one Christmas and then one non Christmas. So I'm always interested in that. So when people film like lifetime Christmas movies, when did they film are you filming it like now for next Christmas? Unfortunately, it's usually in the summertime when it's like a million degrees out and they're putting you in the largest jackets ever. And unfortunately, it's usually in the summertime when it's like a million degrees out and they're putting you in the largest jackets ever.
Starting point is 00:34:49 But yeah, I'm hoping to film more in the spring this year because we already have a script and stuff for this one. So yeah, but it's usually you do spring summer and then for that fall, for that winter. Got it. So you guys have to like make betan, you're freezing out there and like it's 80 degrees outside. Yeah, sometimes like we did one in Mississippi and it was like 105 and and laugh at him. Um, I'll send you the date. I don't know the exact date. It's coming up. I want to say in like March. So we're going to come to Nashville. I'm coming to sit with you. You have to come that night and hang out with me. We'll just sit in the
Starting point is 00:35:37 audience. Let's do it. Let's do drinks dinner. Like the whole thing. Yes. And we'll laugh at Joe in his, okay. Yeah. his crazy comedy. He talks about my vagina a lot, which is like so annoying, but also it could be funny. So when he gets a one, like, that's great. Yeah, like he likes it, like as if we don't give enough of our regular life on, on a national TV on this reality show, he decides to like be a comedian and tell everyone even more than they didn't know already, which is so crazy. So we definitely have to do that together. It also, it seems like the cast that you work with become like family to you.
Starting point is 00:36:13 Is that how it goes? Like when you're filming with these people, do you form these bonds and they're basically like family? Yeah, it's like, I call it summer camp. So we're all super, super close. And then at the end of it, that's why I call it summer camp. So and we, you know, we're all super super close and then, you know, at the end of it It's it's that's why I'm I usually like just break down crying because I just like you you become so close. They know everything about you They know my kids. They know you know the last movie I went through, you know Finalized divorce on it and you know, we all like is all rally and so they just
Starting point is 00:36:42 If you have become such a big family and then you have to say goodbye and that's that's always the hardest part. But I keep in touch with a lot of my old co-stars which is good. Right, well that's awesome. I feel like that's how it works with the housewives too. We kind of, we kind of become like this crazy family that we don't even want to be part of most of the time. We're trying to get away from them all, but it just keeps moving and shit. You didn't have one point. Where are you going to do the Beverly Hills housewives, like the real housewives of Beverly Hills? I was going to do, like, I was just going to play a friend of Teddy's, um, but I don't
Starting point is 00:37:15 think I could do it. Like, I, I don't, how do I say this? Like, I, I don't think I can handle the, the comments from people that watch that show, the fans. Yeah. I just, I don't think I can handle the comments from people that watch that show, the fans. Yeah, I just, I don't think I can handle it. And then I don't know if I, I mean, I just don't know, like if they were like fight with Melissa, I'm like, I couldn't fight, I don't, I don't wanna fight with you. It's the worst when you love somebody.
Starting point is 00:37:39 So, so that's what I say. Like, listen, I will say the Bravo fans, and I always say this with the most up most respect. They are serious. They are intense. Half the accounts on Instagram are bravo fans. It's just insane.
Starting point is 00:37:54 They are another level of like invested. They're amazing. I mean, obviously they make they make us, you know, the fans, but they're intense. And if you don't have thick skin, housewives is like, it could be rough. It could be really, really rough, especially when, the fans, but they're intense. And if you don't have thick skin, housewives is like, it could be rough. It could be really, really rough, especially when you're like, when there's a lot of like one-on-one, like, versus each other and they pick their teams, like they go hard, they go harder, they go home, like that's the truth. Yeah, that's why I was just like, I don't know, like they were trying to put together
Starting point is 00:38:21 a Nashville one and I was just like, I can't do it. Like I just, I don't, I just don't want that. I don't know. I'll do it. I'm not going to let you show, but I don't want to be fighting with a bunch of girls. I can't do it. No, it's a lot. It's a lot. And so like, it's hard. Listen, I've always managed to stay above great job. Thank you. Yeah. Thanks. I've always managed to like, you know, I don't, I don't fight for no reason. You know what I mean? Like if I hear or see you say something that I don't agree with, then I'm like, all right, listen, we like, but I don't go to that level because I refuse. That's not me.
Starting point is 00:38:52 And then I can't back that up. So what I do on housewives is very authentic and very who I am when I'm level headed. Sometimes I freak and I have like a spaz attack, but that's real. Like that's me. I'm very impulsive and I pissed off. But then like, you know, I can calm down and talk about it.
Starting point is 00:39:07 That's just like my, that's just my style. You know, that's just how I roll. But I could totally see this. Like it would stress it, wait, is there going to be a Nashville housewives? Do we know anything about this? No, I think it, I think it didn't get picked up. Okay.
Starting point is 00:39:22 My knowledge didn't get picked up. I would love to see that and everybody saying, y'all, yeah. I love it. Oh, yeah. Okay, let's take a quick break. Hey, everyone. Let me tell you guys about a really great podcast called Behind the Velvet Rope. Behind the Velvet Rope is a housewives bravo and pop culture themed podcasts where host David Yantef interviews housewives bravo liberties and other reality TV talent and pop culture icons. If there's one thing I know about it's housewives. Some of his recent guests have included my good friend Margaret Joseph's as well as Lala Kent Countess Luan, Susan Luce, Suzanne Summers, and even Nick Lache.
Starting point is 00:40:07 And there's many, many more. Really, David speaks to everyone in the Bravo and Pop culture universe. David has a relaxed interview style, which makes you feel at ease. If there's a story to get to the bottom of, he goes there. Just when you think there's a question he may not ask, he asks it. The best thing about the behind the velvet rope podcast is it's five days a week. That's right. A new show drops every weekday Monday through Friday. So what are you waiting for? Subscribe today to behind the velvet rope on Apple podcasts, Spotify or wherever else podcasts are found and get ready to have all of your housewives,
Starting point is 00:40:42 Bravo and pop culture dreams come true. Hey everyone, this is Heather Dubrow and do I have some exciting news for you? We are launching a variety of new episodes that are going to have amazing special guests, some of my close friends and so much more. It's going to be really fun. And we're going to get to hear the fans, new friends,
Starting point is 00:41:03 and get an inside look of my world. We're really excited for you to listen and join in for Heavid Rose World on Podcast Fun episodes drop on Thursdays and Fridays, tune in on Spotify, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get
Starting point is 00:41:16 your podcasts. And we're back with the show. Speaking of reality TV, you were on dancing with the stars, also, right? Who was your partner? I wasn't you were. Oh, you were not there?
Starting point is 00:41:28 No, can you believe I've never done Dancing? I'm actually a really freaking good dancer. I don't know how I wasn't, how I didn't do this yet. That's the presence you were on there. I thought you were on there for sure. Well, there was conversations about it a very long time ago when I first got on housewise, but I'll be honest, my husband was shot it down
Starting point is 00:41:46 so quickly. Like he was literally like that is the one thing I am asking that you never do because he like watches it and these, you know, the couples dancing on Dancing With The Stars, they truly look like they're madly in love and like they're having sex every night. Like they really do and I don't know, you know, if they put it on for the cameras, which I'm sure they're supposed to have like these sexual like sensual dances. But come on, they hold each other, they hold each other's hands during like when they're when they're, you know, getting graded or whatever it is there. And it's like my husband's like, yeah, right. Like he's like, I literally jump out of the seat, which he couldn't handle. He's such a jealous type of like possessive. Like he would lose his shit just seeing me like,
Starting point is 00:42:25 you're like, because I don't think I would let my boyfriend do it. No, so I have to be fair. Like I think I would, I think I would actually give him, I'd be like, what's happening here? Like I think I would need to do it at the same time
Starting point is 00:42:38 when we're both like rehearsing in the other rooms. And like, you know, after, you know, whatever goes on after, if there's a good drink, like I'm there as well. Or we would, Joe and I would, I mean, after, you know, whatever goes on after, if there's a good drink, like I'm there as well. Or we would, Joe and I would, I mean, listen, we're doing pretty good for being on reality TV. I have been on reality TV and married for 17 years.
Starting point is 00:42:52 We're doing a pretty good job because it's not easy. He loves you. Like you can just see, like, I mean, just, I don't know, you're, y'all's like, y'all's love ratings. It's just, it's a beautiful thing to see. But I'm sure it's hard, you know, at 17 years. It's a long time. Yeah, it is. It's a really long time. And with like the having fallen out of love, or have you always been at state and love? No, we've never fallen out, but we've definitely hit a patch over, it was like right around the
Starting point is 00:43:20 pandemic, to be honest, where we were arguing way more than normal, and we started to second guess just from, I was like, wait a second, have I like, I was using the word like, like, have we grown apart? Like, what's happening here? Because we were not on the same page with anything. But I think a lot of it had to do with just, you know, myself, like how I've changed, and how I didn't agree on just sitting back anymore and letting Joe have all of his buildings and his construction and his everything he wanted in life, I started to work a lot more and and start making my own money to be honest and and and and I always think that's very important to be independent because I feel and you can vouch for this. A lot of women stay in relationships just for the for the fact that they're like, well, where am I going to go? What am I going to do? How am I going to live like this again? And and that I used to believe and I used to when I first got married say like, I want to live in the big house, oh my God, I have
Starting point is 00:44:19 this great husband. He's going to take care of me like, I'm good. I'll ask for a hundred dollar bill when I need one and I'll use the credit card and he'll take care of everything. But you know, you never know down the line when things are going to get bumpy and you might want to you know, get out of there and then you're in a position where you can't because you are dependent on someone. So I, if I could teach my daughter anything, it's the fact that like I don't care how much money he does or doesn't have or what goes on in life, you need to be able to be independent, make your own money, even if it's crumbs, whatever it may be, have an outlet for yourself. Because I don't think anyone is truly
Starting point is 00:44:56 happy just depending on someone else. And even like when you're wearing those shoes and you bought those shoes, it hits different. Those shoes hit different. Do you know what I'm saying? A pose to someone handing them over to you. And I'm the perfect person to talk about this because I always had them handed to me and they no longer are. I buy them myself and they hit different when they go on my feet.
Starting point is 00:45:17 Do you know what I'm saying? So yes, I'm very, I'm very, I'm very, very big on that. So, yeah, but I am so happy for you. You have like so many crazy good things going on. You're working so hard. You're an inspiration. Keep my cousin, I have to shout out Tara. She's obsessed with you. She's like, you're talking to her?
Starting point is 00:45:38 Like, can I obsess? I know so many people that you inspire and that truly, truly love you. So keep being strong. your children are beautiful. And if this relationship doesn't work out, it's okay. I feel like you got this now. Yeah. No, no, no. I want it to work out.
Starting point is 00:45:52 Right. But you know, I know. I'm also. Yes, we wanted to work out, but we're not dependent on anyone. So I see that you're happy now, like within yourself, which I love that. I love that. I love that. Before I let you go, we're gonna do a quick grilled with gorgah.
Starting point is 00:46:09 I do it to every guest I have. Really, it's a pretty fast, some rapid speed questions, just give me your answers. Okay, you ready? Yep. Your first celebrity crush. Jonathan Taylor Thomas.
Starting point is 00:46:23 Ooh, okay. Your favorite 80s song. Have one. We are the champions, my friend. Okay, oh god, you sing so good. See why I love it. Okay, your biggest regret. Staying in my marriage so long. Fair. Best decision you have ever made. Fair. Best decision you have ever made. Devoursing my ex. I don't know you're going to say that. What is your pet peeve? Oh, man. Oh, there's so many.
Starting point is 00:46:54 Okay. What is my biggest pet peeve? Probably when someone talks, like during when you're trying to listen to like your favorite song or something. Oh, and they and they start talking or like answer a phone when you're like jam listen to your favorite song or something. Oh, and they start talking or answer a phone when you're jamming out in the car. Joe does this to me all the time. He's like, listen to the song and they don't even listen to their talking to you.
Starting point is 00:47:11 And I'm like, okay. Oh, got it. Okay, tell me about the worst date you've ever been on. It was actually post-divorce and this guy, we went to dinner and I was kind of telling him about my past and he put up this like you know when you're at the airport and they have those things that make the beeping noise and so he goes beep beep beep beep beep beep, crazy and I was like uh no he did not he did I was like what he goes, I'm just kidding. He goes, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, peace. Like anybody beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep,
Starting point is 00:48:06 beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, like you got to go. Who's beeping people? Get the hell out of here. That is so funny. That's amazing. Okay. First concert you've ever been to. Um, uh, Jimmy Buffett.
Starting point is 00:48:20 Oh, okay. Um, something about you that will completely surprise us. I know we know so much, but give me something that would surprise us. I actually have social anxiety. Really? Like, if it's a small group, and I don't know anybody, I get, I just get really nervous,
Starting point is 00:48:38 and I don't like to talk in front of people. Like, if I was to make like a speech or say something, or like I just, I get like massive social anxiety. It's one of them smaller groups and I don't know the people. Wow. Okay, that's fair. Your first job, what was your first job? I was a waitress at this restaurant called Greek Island. Okay. Your favorite late night snack, what do you eat on the couch at night? Okay, there's these cheese
Starting point is 00:49:04 it grooves that are so good. They're ranch. Oh my god, they're amazing. They're ranch. I want to say yes. And ranch. Ranch. Yeah, they're so good. That are chips in case of. Okay. What's your favorite TV show that you're binge watching right now?
Starting point is 00:49:21 A cheer. Cheer. Yeah, cheer. It's a. It's a, um, uh, cheerleading show. Oh, okay. Yes. Okay. Got it. Got it. Got it. Netflix. Uh-huh. And then it's watching made to. Okay. And I always, always end with, how do you treat yourself?
Starting point is 00:49:39 So if it's all about you today, it is not about those kids. It's not about anybody, but you, what is the day like that you're like today is for me? I would go for a run. Maybe meet up with my girlfriends for lunch, have a little wine during lunch,
Starting point is 00:49:55 and then maybe go shopping, because I'd never go shopping for myself ever. It's always like for somebody else or my kids. And then come back, have a great dinner and play games because I'm a big loser and I play games and cards with my girlfriends and then just drink at the house and I love that. Yeah, I'm a homebody of that.
Starting point is 00:50:18 I love that. All right, Jenna, this has been incredible. I love talking to you. I knew that you would be such a joy to talk to because I do love you. I'm always rooting for you. Okay, we're gonna hang out on March. We're going to Joe show together. Okay, I'm coming to Nashville. So yes, and make sure you send me that wine. I can't wait for that. And just keep being you. Keep showing us your happiness and your struggles and keep being real because like we need more of that in this world and I appreciate it. I appreciate you. You're the best. Thank you. All right. We'll see you soon. All right. See you soon, honey. Bye, honey. Bye. Yeah!
Starting point is 00:51:18 you

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