On Display with Melissa Gorga - Standing In Your Truth (w/ Elaine Goldsmith-Thomas)

Episode Date: December 30, 2021

Melissa invites one of the most famous female producers and agents in Hollywood, and close friend to the stars, Elaine Goldsmith-Thomas, to discuss breaking the norms, making it in Hollywood, and empowering women to follow their own dreams.  They also chat about some of Elaine's previous films (Maid in Manhattan, Hustlers, and Second Act) along with her new film "Marry Me", starring Jennifer Lopez and Owen Wilson. This is an episode full of great stories and even greater advice.  Happy New Years everyone!  This week's sponsor: CBDX: https://cbdx.com/, promo code: MELISSA (20% off and FREE gift)

You're listening to Melissa Gorga on display with me, Melissa Gorga on podcast one. I realize that here was a job about getting yes for your clients. Here was a job about turning no into yes, and here was a job about figuring out a way to make people's dreams come true, And I desperately wanted to be an agent. What's up, everyone? Hope that you guys had a great holiday. My Christmas was crazy as usual. Always all over the place. We were at my sister-in-law's on Christmas Eve, which was so nice to be in her new home. So that was amazing with all of the new situation that is going on over there,

with the new love of her life and the family all being together was actually super, super sweet. So we had the best time there. And then we ran down to my cousin Tara's house for Christmas day. We always try to like split up the time to have a little time with my family a little time with his family. You know, this is just how it goes. We we are in a rental right now. And all of my Christmas decor and decorations are in storage. And I just absolutely refuse. I have such an immense amount of Christmas decor because that's like my holiday. I refused to go out and rebuy everything because I have such great stuff in storage. So I said, you know what, we're gonna have a fake tree this year, and I got a fake lit up tree. That's like white looks like it has this snow on it, it's so pretty. Antonia actually walked in the other day and she's like, are we going to put any balls on this tree?

And I was like, no, we're not going to. It's just going to be clean and neat. And I'm not kidding. I might have to go this route from now on because I just, I think it looks chic. I really do. It's not a goady. It's not a goady jersey tree.

And with that said, I'm really curious. One is the right time to take down the tree because I feel like we always have these questions, like, you know, and we go back and forth. And some, you know, some Catholics believe there's a certain date that you cannot take the tree down before this date, but I don't know, when do you guys take down your Christmas tree

because I never know when the appropriate time is. But Christmas is awesome. My kids pretty much liked everything. I mean, they're so picky with their sneakers. I feel like I have, I also have a lot of returns. I mean, I don't know about you guys, but the sneakers, once the kids hit like over 10, basically they don't even put anything on their list anymore

besides all of these crazy sneakers. And I'm not talking about like regular sneakers. They look like regular sneakers, but they're like hundreds of dollars and I'm baffled by what these people can charge for a sneaker these days and like these kids all find them so we did a lot of sneaker box opening this Christmas. it is what it is. We ate so well too, so much pasta. We did the seven fishes, like, good little Italians. We did that too on Christmas Eve. So it really, really was great. We had a great time. That is my one favorite holiday. I know

everyone says this, but there's really nothing like Christmas Eve. And even this week after Christmas, when it's still kind of a chill week, we're all just like putting the cell phones down, letting everything go and just like enjoying family. So I hope that's what you guys are all doing out there. And I hope you guys all have big plans for 2022. We're about to go into, you know, a new year, which I'm very excited about. I know that you guys all probably have like your New Year's

resolutions and everybody wants to go to the gym, right? Because I feel like that's what we all say. We're like, that's it. It's Christmas is over. The holidays are over. We're jumping right into the gym. I mean, that's what Joe and I constantly talk about, to be honest, it's just like a thing.

So I hope everyone keeps their promises to themselves because it does feel good to be at the gym. And we have some big plans here at the podcast for 2022. We're very, very excited about everything we have going on here and all the special guests that we have coming your way. So I cannot wait to share all of that with you guys. But right now, we have a very special guest for this episode. As a woman, she has broke barriers in the 80s,

becoming one of the top agents for the William Morris Agency. She produced some of your favorite, favorite movies, and she's worked with some of the most recognizable names in Hollywood, and she still does. Jennifer Lopez, Halle Berry, she's worked with Julia Roberts and Susan Sarandon. And the list goes on to be honest with you. She's one of the best people for me to go to her advice. And I'm not just talking about just entertainment world advice,

but just advice in life. She's a woman that loves to support other women. She writes, she's really just one of those people who does it all, knows it all. One of the best networkers I have ever met. And she's truly a talented agent and producer. And a great friend to me, Elaine Goldsmith. Tom has, hi Elaine. Hi Melissa. Hi, I'm nobody's ever called me in net. I don't think of myself as a network that the networker that's so funny even even early in my career like

when people went out to parties you know when I was an agent or an agent training and people went out to parties and and and did all of those networking things. I was never good at that. I know. I'm not that girl. No, I, I, but I feel like I met you. I met you through a networking situation. Do you remember Luchila de Agasino? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I remember Luchila who is amazing and I watched housewives religiously and it was my it wasn't even a guilty pleasure It was my non guilty pleasure. I loved sort of immersing myself in myself and your lives And I really particularly loved you and Joey and and Lucilla produced it and I was working with her on an unscripted show And I said God I'd love to meet them And she said you what I said yeah, I was working with her on an unscripted show and I said, God, I'd love to meet them.

And she said, you know, what I said, yeah, I'm a little obsessed, you know, that's where I've been. Yeah, if I was a little bit of a girl, she is the producer of the Real Housewives of New Jersey. She's no longer. She used to be. She produced the beginning. Yeah, for ever she kind of created the show in the beginning. She really did. Right, right. She's in that worker. I just put it out there and then I got to meet you. And, you know, I love authentic people, strong people, people who can look at themselves and laugh. And, you captured my heart. So it's we've been friends

ever since. It's been a few years. It's been a minute and and you're a good one. You're a good one. Thank you. We do we put ourselves out there Joey and I and I know you always love you've always text me on the side when you're watching the show about the family stuff like you have very strong opinions and feelings about it. And you love one Joey and I kind of come together as like a strong family. And I love that, you love that. You've always kind of complimented us on our family.

I think family is really complicated, right? I think it's, there's a family you choose and the family you're born into. And they're not always, they don't always align, right? There's a family you choose and the family you're born into. And they're not always, they don't always align, right? But I think that your family, when their back gets to the wall, they really do come together and it touches me. And it really does, and I love how you are with your sisters.

I really love you in Teresa. It was interesting and life-imitating art in this crazy, met away as Teresa was going through all of that in real life. You know, you couldn't have scripted that. No. And I had great empathy for her. And I have great empathy for you, standing strong and what you believe and standing strong for your daughter and your nieces and all of that. So yeah, it's, it's, we live in such a bizarre time where people allow cameras into their homes and, and you get to know them or a side of them and it's interesting, it's interesting. And for me, you really don't have to think about it much

because it's unscripted, right? So you sort of dip into other people's lives. It is unscripted. Is it unscripted? I mean, do they ever come to you and say, okay, we wanna do something on Antonia? Do they set the table? Yes, so it's unscripted.

And listen, obviously we do have producers, but and we're setting up events so that we can all be together in the same room. So, but what you say and do and how you react when you're in that room is on you that's your true selves that's on scripted that's unfiltered and what you say and you do will be held against you. They're never going to edit it for you. They're never going to take out your trust me. I've tried in the beginning. I used to cry under my bed after I saw my son's christening episode. I said, what did I do? What did I join? What is happening?

And I called everyone I could. I called Lucilla like a savage. And I was like, you have to take this out. This is not right. This is a child's christening day. This is not right. This is a child's christening day. This is not what I signed up for. And they simply said it, you know, it is what it is. And they have to show the reality of it. And they did. And eventually, you know, people truly got to know Joe and I and our family and learn to appreciate that, you know, we have this

big Italian family. And there's ups and there's downs, but we really do try to show that we always kind of come around the bend and come back together, especially when everyone really needs us, you know, so I think I think I'm still and I think that there's there's different agendas and there's different histories and there's a vulnerability, you know, I have great respect. I couldn't do it. I couldn't do it not even for not even for a second. Let people in and look at myself as I spin. So, you know, I have only respect for that. But, you know, I also look at it and I do wonder I go so do these two, is there any collusion here? Like these two are going to gang up on these anyway. Yes. So I love how invested you get. A true fan. I did. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I was and I am. I, I wish I had the time to, uh, to, to, to watch a little bit more. But you guys aren't you're on peacock now, right? No, so peacock is the girls trip when we all went on the islands together. That's the ultimate girls trip is on peacock, but our show is coming. It's still bravo.

Yes, I'm bravo. Yes, so yes, I love when you start, I love when it starts airing and you send me a little side notes. It's always great because you know, I, you know, I truly look up to you. For anyone who doesn't know this, Elaine works with the top with the top of the top. Some of the best people she works with Jennifer Lopez, Halle Berry, correct? To like, yeah, a lot of people, the best of the best. She is producing so many different movies, one of my absolute favorite movies you've ever produced, which I know is just like a staple in the world is made in Manhattan.

Love, love that movie so much. It was a special one to me because in another life, I don't even know if you know this, I guess you must know it, but I used to be an agent. I was an agent from a long time. So I started at the William Morris Agency when it was a boys club.

I'm actually writing a book about that right now. I'm for St. Martin's Press. I'm not a biography or not even a memoir. It's fictionalized, but it's based on people I knew and things I'd heard and how, oh, let's just say some agents would allow their male assistance to listen in as they had fun with different secretaries. And we were secretaries then

and or as some of them said, sexy Terry. So it's based on a malgommation of people I knew when legends I've heard and things I witnessed in the 80s when I was a secretary at the William Morris Agency, and then I became an agent. And I worked with, you know, Julie Roberts pretty much through from Mystic Pizza to Aaron Brockovich, and Jennifer Lopez, and Madonna, and Susan Sarandon, and Auntie McDowell, and Jennifer Connolly, and it wasn't just me, there was a team of us, but I basically stood on the

shoulders of other women. And because of them, I was able to get a little closer to the glass ceiling. And through the 90s, really felt like I majored in women's films, because it wasn't the ones we said yes to, as people would always say, it was the ones we said no to, and understanding that you always have to trust your gut. You know, I'm from the Valley and that's something in LA. And it's something I always was kind of embarrassed to buy because of like Valley girl, that was me. And till I realized that the thing I was most kind of embarrassed about or ashamed of, defined my success because it was middle America.

And my taste was very middle American. It was very commercial, straight down the middle commercial. And so my overlap with the people that I worked with, was that I chose material that I'd want to see or steered people toward it. Ultimately people have to make their own decisions and I was just lucky enough to stand close to some very powerful, strong people, men and women. I represented Tim Robbins from the beginning of his career through Shaw

Shank Redemption, through the player to Deadman Walking and Spike Lee, and a lot of people. So that was my first act, if you will. And I started very young. I started at the age of 21 and I just, and I just really, I worked my way up. when I was in high school, a boyfriend had wanted, to want an agent. And I loved him so much, you know, and I wanted him to love me, that I went, sure, I'll help you get an agent, not knowing anything, what an agent did, what they were about. And I went to the screen actors guild and got a list of something like 5,000 agents. And, and, and I worked at a card store, Glenda's party code that was called. And I had all the girls there, put them in order of where they were located.

And the first place I went to was the William Morris Agency. And I said, I have an appointment with Mr. Morris. And they said, I'm trying for us long. And I went, sorry, I just need to get upstairs. So let me get upstairs. And I learned that you had to get friendly, the receptionist to go to the secretary and friendly secretary. That networking thing you have. Yeah, I learned how that, well, I call it, I call it breaking, breaking down mountains. I learned how to break down. I learned how to get the yes. My whole life, it's been about how do you get the yes?

How do you turn no into a yes? How do you pull around it? How do you make everybody feel okay, but still get the win? It was getting the yes for me. That was really what it was and figuring out a way to get it and figuring out a way not to leave too many bodies

in your way. There used to be this cartoon when I was a little, little girl. So, 60s, this cartoon that was baboon, I think. And it was this little short Eskimo guy who would go up to a mountain and go, baboon, and the mountain would burst open, right? And in a weird way metaphorically, though I wasn't shouting at the mountain to burst open, it was what sort of set the path for me. How do you get the yes? And I realized that here was a job about getting yes for your clients. Here was a job about turning no into yes. And here was a job

about figuring out a way to make people's dreams come true. And I was good at it. And I desperately wanted to be an agent. But in the 80s at William Morris, it was a pretty big boys club. And there weren't a lot of female agents at all. It was a handful. But it was those people, sumingers, rest in peace, or Tony Howard who's still doing it, Sue Mangers, Rest & Peace, or Tony Howard who's still doing it, who really lifted me and believed in me and helped me break through. And I was able to work with you. You have to open doors. You learned how to open doors and get the yeses.

And I feel like you even instilled that in me when I asked you for advice. Hey, guys, it's Brooke. And Danielle from Galsamago podcast. It's very minimal change but basically what I did. Can we talk about the TikTok? Because that's how you deleted it. And I need to talk about that.

I wasn't going to bring it up, but now I'm going to bring it up. On our show, we talk about everything from college, lifestyle, to navigating your 20s and beyond. And there's always that quote that people say, like, if everything from college, lifestyle, to navigating your 20s and beyond. And there's always that quote that people say, like, if they like you, you'll know if they don't, you'll be confused. But some people, I don't know. We hope you guys will join us every Wednesday for brand new episodes right here on Podcast Fund. Speaking of Boys Club, you are a huge advocate for women supporting women. I will say that to you and also reinventing yourself.

You are great at encouraging that. And just through the movies that you've produced, just second acts, right? Just things like reinventing yourself and figuring out what's next and making doors open. I feel like whenever I speak to you, about anything with advice, even if it's with Joe and his comedy and you, and you've told me you think, you know, there's there's a construction shows that you feel that we would be strong and I

just feel like you are so great. Really, a mastermind when it comes to ideas and what's next and what can we do from here and what can we make happen. But I feel like you're so great at supporting and opening doors for people and uplifting. And I feel like that's why these huge celebrities trust you believe in you. You're by their side. I mean, it's just something that you are amazing at. You truly are. Well, thank you. I mean, I wrote second act and it was something that I believe that the only thing stopping you is you in a business, especially for women

and especially for women of color who are, where there's racism and ageism and sexism, where they say you can do one thing, but how dare you try to do many things. I look at it and say, why not? Jennifer Lopez, who is truly one of the most extraordinary women I've ever met, always says, no, is not an answer. It's an opportunity.

And that's our overlap. So for me, I became an agent because it was a job designed for me. And with my clients help them get their dreams. And I was able to stand close enough and absorb some of it until I stopped agenting in 2000. And the first movie I did, I went to run a studio after the agenting because I thought, okay, I want to.

And I'd always written. And I thought maybe I could write a little bit and the very first script I saw was a script called Chamber Made. And it was written by John Hughes, Reston Peece. But it was very, very tale. It was a complete very tale. So Jennifer was at my house and I'd read Champer Mae

and I went, gosh, I just read this script. I mean, it's Cinderella, but it would be so interesting if we could get it gritty if it was about a woman who lives outside the city she serves. She can't afford to live in the city she serves, like what, you know, like she's a maid. And she and I sat in my living room and my husband, Dan, was, will attest to it

because he was there. And we really rift about what it could be and called Mr. Hughes. He did not want to change chambermaid. He wanted it to be that way. And then we called Joe Roth, who ran the company, and he liked it. So we hired the man who wrote working girl, Kevin Wade.

And we worked with him pretty closely, I mean, diligently, on Madeemn Hatton. And it became Madeemn Hatton, by the the way that's Rufus. Ma, Rest in Peace Rufus, you might remember him as Rufus from made him in Manhattan. Wait a second so the dog from made him in Manhattan is your personal that is your dog. Was yes yeah he slept with a producer and Stanley too she was great with him and Natasha Richardson Rest in Peace was amazing with him she she she rubbed me juice all over her so that,

and even then he wouldn't smell where he was supposed to smell. He was, you know, it was gonna be like a walk on. And it just, it literally grew to this part where, you know, I'd watch him go to the, go to the work, looking at fields, and when he wanted to run, and I thought, what am I doing? But Rufus was

a staple in that movie. That movie is really special to me because it was the first movie that I really produced. And it was me and Jennifer. So, um, amazing. That movie is up there for me with all of my tops. That's one of the ones. No matter when it comes on, you can rewatch it and it's fine. It's like dirty dancing. No matter how many times it comes on, you watch it again. That's made him in heaven for me. It doesn't get old. It was a classic love story.

And it's also about moving on up in the world too and just fighting for what you believe. And it's about people not seeing you. They see the roles that you have and they don't see you and they don't see the many colors of you, right? And I think that that's what it's about. And it's about um recognizing, it's about a maid. People go, oh my god, it's so racist that Jennifer played a maid. Dude, you didn't see it.

She played a maid who wanted to be a manager. She played a maid who had the audacity to stand in her own truth and say, I can do more, I should do more. And it's time you recognize that. And so when people go, oh, it's about dancing maids. No, it's about maids dancing their way to different jobs. And you know, for a long time, I have felt, I sort of stand in awe of Jennifer, because here is a dancer who became an actor, who became a singer, who became a national brand,

who became an icon, a global superstar, and now one of the biggest people on the planet. But what people don't know is she was really judged harshly. Her movie made them and had an open to number one. And the head, and I mean, it took Batman off the charts, you know, it opened up. It's Batman with George Clooney. And it was the number one movie that we remember that. I remember that at the time. She had like a number one movie plus a number one album. She had already had a number one movie in album with the wedding planner, okay?

At which was a movie I had gotten her when she was, when I was her agent, right? It was the wedding planner. Then, so this was big. She had, nobody had done that in history. Then she does it with made them in hat, okay? And I think people were resentful of her. I think that she wasn't shy about it.

She was excited and she was also a woman of color who was doing this when no one else had done it. So she had wedding planner, she had made-in Manhattan and the headline read, Ben Affleck sleeps with the help. Oh, and they went to town on her. Um, I don't know if there was an invitation that went out that allowed them to. But what bothered me most is they didn't celebrate her success. So people didn't realize, oh, wait, you had wedding planner, you had made them in

hat and you had monster in law. You had shall we dance. She had like four or five movies in a row that crossed a hundred million dollars that was on her shoulders. And what they were writing about is she can't dance, she can't sing, she now want, and by the way, she had the number one album on the six. She had the number one album with, that was me then.

And Jenny, she was killing it at the time. She was killing it. And don't forget she started as a fly girl. As a fly girl. They were saying, but here's what's important. She can't sing. She can't act. Her relationships, she goes from one guy to another. So what they were doing was minimizing her success. And amplifying her relationships or amplifying her role's Royce or calling her a diva, which was so, which was so weird to me because she rehearses 12 hours a day. Like, I'll, you know, right now we're making movies and I'm living with her on these movies and like she gets up at five, she works out for an hour, she then will meditate,

she'll then go over her lines. I'm sleeping, right? I don't know what kind of a diva works like that, but it became a moniker, it became something it was okay to put her down. And I think at a certain point, at a certain point, she started believing them. I'm going on a tangent about about about about.

Mary me, Mary me comes out in February, very soon, right? And it's very, very time-lapse. In in theaters, February 11th. And I hope people go to movies again, because it's a date night. And I think they're going to do giveaways like in theaters for Valentine's that weekend. So I hope they go to movies if they don't they can certainly see it on peacock but it is such a great thing. There is nothing like being in the

movies with the popcorn. Joe and I just went a couple weeks ago. What did you say? We need to get back. Well, I went to the premiere of I Saw Jen there to Ben's new movie. So we went to the last duel. Yes. So we just went to see that, the last duel. And just I want to circle back for one second on what you were saying about Jennifer being a diva, because I want to give my personal to a censure.

I have met her multiple times now. Because of you, you introduced me to her, you have brought me to her concert once. I brought my three nieces with me. My young nieces, you wanted to go. I've been on multiple red carpets with her now for a couple of your movies for second act, for for some other things. Couldn't be kinder, couldn't be more gracious, took pictures with my young nieces backstage. I spoke to her a little bit about her children and how much she works and how I know it must be so much for her. I just need to say from personal experience, super kind, super warm, smiles at you.

I mean, I've met her at the VMAs. So many different places and she's truly been amazing. I don't see you guys. She's one of the best people I know. She just, you know, she's a woman of color who had great success and I think was punished for it. And I think that because she had the audacity to say I want to do more, I want to be more,

they marginalized her talent because if she can do all of that well, what does that say about me? And I would say what I learned from her is, you know, I've always written kind of quietly on the side, on scripts, all do stuff. And it was Jennifer who said standing your truth and you're a writer, you know, you don't have to be one thing in life. And so what we put in the movie Second Act is that really and truly, the only thing stopping you is you.

We always have to reinvent, because life is about change. So you have to be looking and saying, where do I want to go next? Do I want to be a producer? Do I want to be an actor? Do I want to, it doesn't mean that you just become it, it just means that you can do it if you want to. And that literally if you take out the corsets of your own fears, then it's limitless.

Let me ask you this, let me ask you this because it would touch home for you. Why do you think the word diva gets confused with just an empowered, you know, someone who is empowered? Can you explain to me why you think that that happens to so many successful women in Hollywood? I think that the world is, I'm sad to say there's a patriarchy and there's a misogyny and so in ways women get marginalized and stereotyped and we do it to ourselves too and the more we can catch ourselves from doing it from being reductive okay from saying someone's a diva I mean the idea of Jennifer being one is so crazy because

here's a woman who when she's putting on a show might rehearse 12 hours a day. She'll be working after the actor, the dancers arresting. Adivas don't work hard. They are pampered. You know, I don't know. I don't know. I think people might resent the fact. I think it does have to do with the fact that she's a woman and she's a woman of color. And I think it's harder for people like Jennifer or like Halle Berry. Halle just directed a movie, co-bused. Just watched it on Netflix.

And when I tell you that metaphorically that movie is really about Halle, she had to fight to direct it. Every day it felt like there was another obstacle. And her truth was, I know how to do this. And in truth, what happened was she was interviewing directors for it. And she was waiting for somebody to say to her what she knew. Like, I'm waiting for somebody to tell me exactly how they want to direct this, but they're going to do it this way because she knew how she wanted to direct it.

Right, and I was actually in LA. I was driving to my new apartment. And I remember being on the phone with her and I said, babe, don't get mad at me. She said, what? I said, you need to direct this movie. Get the fuck out. You need to direct, no one's gonna let me direct.

You need to stand in your truth. She was meeting with a very famous woman who wanted to direct it who wasn't particularly a director and and they were making her mate with them and I said, you direct it. That's the event. You know how this has to be. You get a great cinematographer. You direct it. You I call it Zamboni polishing a script. You polished the script. You direct it. And we went back and forth a couple of times over that week and she called me at the end of the week. She said, I'm going to direct it. See, this is why everyone is in a lane. in Elaine. No, but that began in Odyssey for her and she did it and she produced and directed that movie. She had more obstacles than I've ever seen a human have, but it's a movie about fighting for your own truth. And I believe that Halle is phenomenally talented and has been

reduced by her beauty. And has to continually fight to get the respect she needs. And I think it's very difficult for women and I think it's very difficult for women of color. And I just watched that but not one of color. Yeah, did you like it? Powerful, very power. I was rooting for her the whole entire movie like on the edge of my seat rooting for her. Joe loved it too, by the way. We just watched it the other night. Powerful, powerful movie about someone literally fighting for her life and fighting for, you know, what she deserves and what she believes in and just getting out of a situation. That was a great movie. That really was. What I just said to Howley is and what you've done is you've reinvented the second half of your life because you are now a major director. So if you want to direct anything else, you're up there.

You're a major filmmaker. So you have to face the fear of okay, so maybe it won't work whatever it is you're doing. I mean, I look at you in july I I love you guys as a couple. I love how openly you live. I love how openly you love I love the way you're raising your kids Thank you, and I love that he's standing his truth. He yes, he does he's a he's a Developer he builds homes. He understands how to build homes. To me, I'm in awe of that. That's a real talent. I am too. In awe.

Like to have somebody who knows how to wear a load, bearing wall, all that stuff. Wow. But he's also a comedian. And he's standing in his truth and he's getting up there and he's talking and good for him. And I look at that, that's the success. Nothing should stop you. You've got one life.

That's right. And guess what? It didn't come, you know, he gets a lot of negative comments about it too. Like, you know, what are you? Why you have to try this now? You're not a comedian. Where is this coming from? But when he gets on that stage, Elaine, and he's shot, he's in his element. He loves to make people laugh. He's trying it. You have to, you have to respect someone who says, I don't care what people are going to say. I don't care what they're going to do. I'm going to stand in my truth. And I'm going to try this. And let me tell you, he, he really shot. I see the happiness when he's up there and people are clapping and they're laughing. He, it's like something that he personally wanted to do and, and he's doing it. And he doesn't care what anyone says. He keeps going. He's got a whole tour booked all around the country.

Well, you know, I look at that, Mel and I say that that's what life is. It's, it's not letting your fear stop you because when you realize that really is all that stopping you, it's declaring yourself, you don't have to be one thing. You don't only have to do one thing in line. You're a journalist who wants to write a script, write a script, you know, you're an assistant who wants to produce, okay, produce. You can do it all if you really set your mind to it,

but you have to sort of make the declaration and then work toward it. And that's what I did. So I was an agent. I became a Rana studio and then I became producer and now I'm producing partners with Jennifer. And yeah, sometimes I do work with Halle as well. I've produced a lot with her. But it's a full play.

You're clearly a person who has really climbed the ladder and shows how you start somewhere and you open the doors constantly to go somewhere else and you truly are never come from a place of now. That I know. You're always trying. Let me ask you this. What advice do you have for someone who or for a woman who's trying to really make it in Hollywood, because they want to know from your mouth, what should, what advice do you have for them if they're trying to make it in Hollywood, do you have any advice? There's no one way. There's no one way. There's no, it's the va-boom. You have to break down your, your notes. You have to break down your mountains. And so you wanna make it in Hollywood. I don't even know what that means anymore.

I mean, I feel like the industry is in a time of real change right now. I think we're living in a streaming universe, a multiverse. And I hope people go to movies because I think it's a communal, amazing experience that it would be sad if it sort of dissipates. But I think that I think that keep trying. I don't know. There's not any one way to

make it other than there isn't a way to make it. You have an idea for a movie, make your own movie. See if you can get it out there. You know, you think about it. Justin Bieber was on YouTube. Right. That's how he got discovered. Figure out a way, figure out your own way. I mean, is it luck?

Is it luck? Is there a little luck that goes in there as well? And is there luck on anything? You find a good caterer? Is that lucky? I don't know. I think it's that if you want something, you try and you try and you try. And by the way, you realize that sometimes the real message is in the trying, not in the result. It's like you learn, you collect things along the way of life. And it's maybe it's not about making an Hollywood.

Maybe it's about the people you've met along the way. I don't know. But there is no one formula. And when people ask me about my career, I say my career was a plan. It just happened, which is what Sue Manganger's who was this powerful agent said. And as I look back at the trajectory, it was, you know, I was one of the biggest agents in the world and I left at the top of the game.

And then I became, did the studio and then that transition to something else. So you can't be afraid of change. Even though I hate it and it's disruptive and it scares me, it's also, no, you can't be afraid of it. When CBD came out, people wanted it to be like cannabis and it wasn't. It helps with some things, but may not bring the exact effect people want. CBDX.com felt the same way so they went all in on Delta 8 THC. Prepare to have your mind blown. This is a federally legal form of THC. You will absolutely feel it. They have strong vape cartridges, potent gummies, and even pure concentrates. Never drive or operate heavy machinery when using these products. They will show up as

THC on a drug test. Go to CBDX.com that's four letters, CBDX, and use code Melissa. You'll get 20% off and a free gift. If you live in a state where cannabis is legal, this is a lot easier than going to the dispensary and cheaper than paying all those taxes. If you live in a state where cannabis isn't legal, this is a no-brainer. Get yourself some gummies or a vape. You will be blown away that this is legal and shipped directly to you. You know, Mary Me was something that I'm so excited for you guys to see. Mary Me was a pitch I got eight years ago. Eight years ago and it comes to life now? Or yeah, well, it should have come to life two years ago, but for the pandemic. But

It should have come to life two years ago, but for the pandemic. But it was eight years ago, and it was a television series. They were pitching me, imagine the most famous woman on earth, and she meets this guy in the audience in Marysum. I went, hmm. And, you know, having, having been so close to Notting Hill, there were shades of Notting Hill in it, a peek behind the curtain of fame. So I had just started working with Jennifer

and I was staying at her house out in Hidden Hills at the time. And I came home and she was sitting outside on there, forget it. And I said, I had an interesting pitch today, she goes, yeah, tell me. I said, well, it's about it's about the the back side of fame, you know, really famous woman who finds out her boyfriend at the time I think he was

cheating with her sister or something. And, and, and, and she has this sort of psychopathic meltdown on on stage about love and life. And does any of it matter on all these fucking rules and all of that stuff. And she just melts in front of the world. And then she sees in the audience some guy holding a sign that says marrying me because that's the name of the song. She was gonna sing to her fiance before they take their vows.

And she looks at him and she says, maybe it's not about planning, maybe love is just about a leap of faith. Maybe it's about taking a leap off a cliff so high you can't see the fall and trust in the universe. Okay, sure dude, I'll marry. Now she does it as a lark and originally in the original script, her manager says, you can't, you have to stay married for a couple of months so that people don't think you're insane.

Right. Just just say you're doing it as an experiment whatever and she fights it and he fights it. Jennifer, I think happens a lot often people do meet other people and they fall in love in relationships and they then have to figure out a way to cleanly exit without looking like completely the bad guy or being crazy. Well, she doesn't fall in love. She just does it out of just a I can fall in love. She just does it out of just a, like a reaction to the fact that her boyfriend was cheating. And Jennifer changed the narrative. She wanted it to be her character

who comes up with the idea. You, you know, go find this guy. He's a single straight guy who's not married and tell him to stay married for a couple of months. We won't act like we're married. We'll just start dating. But that way, I won't be the punchline. The manager says, you're already the punchline.

That's crazy what you did. And she says, let's just play this record out, right? So he has to convince Owen Wilson to stay married for a couple. You know, and he basically said, I was just helping somebody who was having a nervous breakdown. And it's the two, these two disparate people getting to know each other. But really what it's about is faith,

having faith in the universe, having faith in love, and trusting that if you're not with the right person, the right person is out there for you. And there's this beautiful song she sings in the movie called On My Way. And it is really about finding the love of your life. And it basically says that every mistake. That's the one she's saying at the people's choice awards. Yeah, it's the one she's saying at the AMAs.

And it's all about it's you know na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na Yes, especially right now with everything that's going on. I mean, destiny is destiny, right, Elaine, whoever you're meant to be with will come back. They always say, you know, if it flies away, it comes back to you. It's meant to be. So I truly believe in that, and especially everything that's going on in her life right now. She just looks so happy. I believe that the universe has us all along.

And sometimes when we think we're driving, we have to let go of the wheel because it's a 100% God laughed. So if you believe enough that the universe has you and you're a good person, perhaps they perhaps they will. Anyway, that's marrying me. It is. Jesus take the wheel. Jesus take the wheel. Jesus. It has a charming, charming, and Owen Wilson is he just a doll as well. I feel like he is such a doll. When I tell you how great he is, I can't even articulate it.

I can totally just picture that. He's funny, he's sweet, and he grounds the movie because he's such an every man that he looks at her life and at the bigness of her life. He looks at the largeness of this superstar and basically challenges her to live without an assistant, to live without a driver, to live in a very modest way. And she takes the challenge if he goes on TikTok. So they challenge each other. It's a really fun movie. The kids will like it. There's a little school of rock in there, little nodding hill. It's really charming with some amazing songs. So I'm super excited. And it's I cannot wait to see it.

That comes out in February. So very soon. February 11th and in theaters. And I think there's I think there's prizes that are going to happen in theaters. I'm not quite sure they're just figuring it all out now, but I hope that the romance people come out. You know, I got to tell you, I think that you asked me a question earlier about why it's so hard for women. And I think that there is an insidious sexism at play.

Even the way we say rom-coms, you know, we don't say Dick Fl Even the way we say rom comes, you know, we don't say dickflicks. But we say we're going to go watch the dick flick today. Let's grab some popcorn. You're 100% right. It's a rom. And we all and we all do it. We all marginalized. The classic movies like Terms of Endearment or Heaven can Wait or Harry Met Sally, these brilliant, beautiful movies are great films. They're- You got anthroposamades, but they're not chick flicks. And I think that women allow themselves to be reduced,

that to only one thing, good on Hallibary for being an actor and a director and a brand, and great on Jennifer Lopez for being an actor and a singer and a dancer and a brand and great on Jennifer Lopez for being an actor and a singer and a dancer and a brand and good on you Melissa you're on housewives you want to act you should act you want to do podcast you podcast do something with Joey you can do anything you just have to figure out how to get the yes right I do I am always constantly in my head searching for what's next. I'm never I I'm not ready to sit still yet. I feel like I am in my prime, so to speak, where I have been 10 plus years on a hit show. I have done things that, you know, I just I feel

like I have my two feet on the ground now in the entertainment world where I have enough people surrounding me and I can really kind of dig a little deeper into what do I really want to do? What do I want to talk about? What inspires me? The real housewives of New Jersey is great, but that is not gonna go on forever. We all know this.

I mean, God bless it, it's been on for so many years, but I'm always in the mode of what's next. I've always had a huge work ethic. I work three jobs before I met Joe. I think what you want to do is say, what do I want from my life next? It's not, it's, yes, everything has to end. And it will end in its own time, right? And, and I think that what you have to ask yourself is, like what Joey's doing. I wanna get up on stage and try it. Why not?

To me, he's as successful as anyone because he's doing it. Right. So if that feeds your soul, what's next? And I think that we always have to reinvent ourselves and not be afraid to ask that question or how to be better at it or how to navigate it and explore because I don't know that actually being successful at it for Joey was the is the goal. It's that he's doing it.

That is something he wanted to do and he's doing it. Yeah, and good for you that you supported and good for your kids to see it, that you don't only have to do one thing in life and you aren't defined by that one thing. And if Jennifer Lopez stands for anything, she stands for somebody who had the fucking balls to say, I'm a great dancer. And then I'm going to study and become a great actor and she's a great actor. And then I'm going to sing and really expose my voice and and and and it's floyd it and and let people hear it because it's a beautiful strong voice.

and let people hear it because it's a beautiful strong voice. And you know what, I'm gonna do branding. I'm gonna be here, I'm gonna do branding. You know, people hate her's hate and then they copy. Now everybody's branding. So it's kind of, it's kind of like you didn't let anybody stop you with their fear that if you can do all this so well, what does that say about them? And they've tried to stop her. So I kind of say to you and to your listeners,

the world is yours and the only thing stopping you is you. And have friends around you who support you in your climb and recognize that it's not always about arriving. It's just about the process of doing it that builds your soul. The clap when you're doing well, right? Who clap for you when you succeed instead of walk out of the room. Well, listen, your insight is always so special to me. I truly special to me, but I'm not going to let you go until I do this little bit with you that I do with all my guests. It's called grilled with gorgah. Okay. Okay. I'll go with gorgah. I'm gonna ask you a couple rapid fired

questions. Your first celebrity crush. Um, um, Bobby Sherman. Oh, favorite 80s song. Um, um, Alison. Biggest regret. That I didn't know my power when I was younger. Hmm, okay, best decision you've ever made. To get married. I love him by the way she has such an amazing husband. He's so good. And he lets her work as much as she does. You work a lot. He does. He's an amazing guy. Pet peeve. When somebody's talking to me and they just sort of touch me every five seconds, they keep touching my arm. And saying like I start moving back. Okay, don't stop.

No, just don't touch Elaine people. The worst date you've ever been on. Maybe before your husband or could be your husband as well. Something died inside of him. It was a yeah, he had a bad reaction to food. Oh, Jesus. Okay, something about you that would surprise us. Like what do we not know about you? Give me something. I love to sing. Come on. Can you sing well? Not according to people

who do sing well, but I love to sing. All right. Do you want to sing for me right now? No, absolutely not. All right. Just checking. Just. Your first concert you ever went to. Um, um, um, wings over America. Wow. And I think it was in 76. Okay. All right, I don't think I know. Where you were born, I don't know.

Yeah. Yeah. Okay. That's depressing. Your first job, which your first job. Um, basketball. I got fired because I couldn't make the scoop way the ounce had to weigh. I didn't have the arm strength. It was hard.

I believe it by love. Best. I'm. I'm. Favorite late night snack when you're watching all of your movies. I guess I would say popcorn and licorice. Fair, okay. And as a producer, what's your favorite movie of all time? You have to give us your favorite movie of all time.

I think when Harry Met Sally is one of the most perfect movies out there. Of course, classic. Your favorite TV show that you've been watched, binge watch. Now or of about time? Well, either one, whatever you'd want to go with. I mean, I, I, I, what did I binge watch? I loved normal people. I don't know if you saw normal people on Hulu.

It was, I didn't, but I heard it was fantastic. Okay. I've been watched it twice. Nice. Okay. I always like to end with, I try to tell all my listeners all the time that you always have to treat yourself. So if Elaine is treating herself, how does she do that?

What do you do for the day? If this day is a battle, and you are gonna treat yourself? I turn off my phone. I sit with my friends. We cuddle up and watch, like right now, maybe Academy screeners. I have Linus, who is like Rufus's son.

And I'm in upstate New York and my husband is there and we're gonna have a delicious dinner and the calories don't count. Perfect, sounds like the perfect day to me. That's that, that would be it then. And you and Joey would come. That we have to have our dinner.

We have to have dinner. We need to have dinner. And you know, I keep promising you. I'm cooking some Italian, beautiful food for you as well. I'm actually a really great cook and Elaine does wanna try my pasta, right? We've been saying you're gonna come back. I think I would like either a chicken

farm or a spaghetti bowling. Yes, okay, got it. And I salad. I'm thinking like after marrying me comes out and I'll be back in March, you'll, we'll figure it out. We'll either come over or you'll come up state something. Yeah. Well, it's hard to keep up with you.

I call you. I'm like, are you in Canada? Are you in a layer? Are you in New York? I can't find you. And then when you're here, you're here for, you know, well, it's hard to keep up with you. I call you, I'm like, are you in Canada? Are you in a lair? Are you in New York? I can't find you. And then when you're here, you're here for, you know, oh, I have three days. And then I have to find you.

I've been trying to make you this Italian dinner. So I am ready for you when you are ready. You want to have some gorgeous pasta. When I am back from Spain, we have to finish the movie. We're doing Jennifer and I. And then when I'm back from Spain and back from Marini, see if you can come out to the premiere. I'm not kidding it will be so fun. I'm there. I'm 100% there. I'm 100% there. So February 11th that'll be

warm in LA. I adore you. Thank you so much Elaine. Everyone needs to check out Marry me. It's in theaters on February 11th. Elaine you are one of my favorite people honestly. So I love you so much. And it was so awesome to talk to you. So good seeing you. We got to see each other. I love it. Yes. I feel like we spent some time together. Well, I am here for you always. And to your listeners, I would say no is not an answer. It's an opportunity. And it's up to you to talk. Thank you, Elaine. I appreciate you so much. Okay. Bye, guys. Bye, Elaine. See you soon. you you